Note I do not own the Loud House all rights go to Nickelodeon and Viacom. Nor do i own Spongebob all rights go to Stephen Hillenberg.
Chapter 13: I had an Accident!
Our starts off with Lincoln, his girlfriend Paige, his best friends Clyde, Rusty, Liam, and Zach sledding down the hills of Royal Woods.
Rusty is screaming while flying on his sandboard, then bashes his body on mountain. The word DEAD flashes, also making a "dead" sound effect.
Screen zooms out, revealing that Rusty is only playing a video game with his character while snowboarding down a snowy Mountain.
"Aww, I got dead again! This game stinks!" groaned Rusty. He then hits a rock and flies and screams then bashes his body on mountain just like on his game.
"See, that's why you must always pay attention to the mountain." Said Paige.
"I'm listening to you, mountain!" Lincoln the. starts snowboarding, and he passes by Rusty's legs. "Don't eat the yellow snow, Rusty!"
"Oh, yeah, I forgot." Rusty says as he eats yellow snow on a plate.
"Hey, Paige, watch me do the "Grouchy Mr Grouse"!" Said Lincoln
Mr. Grouse, who is sitting at a table drinking tea close to the mountain, tells Lincoln to "Stop naming moves after me!"
"Everybody's an idiot except for me." Said Lincoln while imitating Mr. Grouse.
"Well, it's true." Said Mr. Grouse as he takes a sip.
Lincoln laughs like Mr. Grouse, making Paige, Clyde, Liam, Zach, and Rusty laugh with him.
Paige then stops laughing and gasps. "Linky! Look out for that tree!"
Lincoln then stops laughing like Mr. Grouse. "Huh?" He avoids the tree. "Don't worry guys, everything is under control because I'm an..." Lincoln then hits a log and he goes off mountain. "Expert...!"
Lincoln suddenly stops in mid-air. "Huh, that's funny. Someone turned the mountain upside down!" The camera reveals that Lincoln is upside down and not the mountain and he screams as he falls.
"Lincoln! Land on your bottom! It'll cushion the impact of the fall!" Said Clyde.
Lincoln then makes himself right-side up and he takes off his pants. "Like this?"
"No, your other bottom!" Said Rusty.
"Don't you have to be stupid somewhere else?" Said Liam.
"Not until 4." Said Rusty.
Lincoln then crashes into the ground and his bottom breaks into tiny pieces.
"Ooh, that's gotta hurt!" Groaned Zach.
"Do it again! I wasn't looking!" Said Rusty
Cuts to doctors office.
"Well, it looks like your gluteus maximus has made a full recovery." Said the doctor
"My what has a what now?" asked Lincoln.
"Your butt's all better. It's really quite amazing." The doctor then an x-ray on. "It took 20 hours to put it all back together." The doctor then holds a stapler. "We actually ran out of staples and had to use a glue stick" he then holds a gluestick.
"Yep, you're a lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, luck boy. But from now on, I'd like you to be more careful. One more injury like that and you could wind up like that poor cut over there." Said the doctor as he points to where the man is. We see the man and his butt is in a giant machine. "In the Iron Butt."
"Aww, man. It itches!" Said then man in the iron butt.
"You heard the doctor, Lincoln." Said Lincoln as he walks outside the hospital. "One more injury like that, then it's the Iron Butt! I've been too careless back there. From now on, I am on around the clock butt patrol."
Lincoln then sees Chandler and his goons behind him. "Hep, hep, hep! Stay away from the backside I'm warning you!"
"What's your problem, Larry?!" Chandler and his goons then leaves Lincoln.
"Whew. That was close!" said Lincoln.
"Hey, Lincoln, why don't you join us? We need an extra player." Said Hank as Hawk catches a football. "Nice catch, Hawk!" Hank then slaps Hawk's bottom, Lincoln cringes as he holds his butt.
"Hey, Linoln!" Lincoln screams as he turns around, while holding his butt only to see Tad behind him. "You've gotta try this, dude! We finally got enough people for a seven-mile spanking machine!" Tad then crawls between people's legs, who each take turns spanking his butt. "Ha, ouch! Ha, ouch! Ha, ouch."
"Next." Said Joey.
" No." Lincoln screams as he runs off. Everybody looks at him.
"Is this where the line starts?" asked Mr. Grouse.
"My butt is not safe out here!" said Lincoln as he runs inside his house and closes the door. "No part of me is safe!." He then closes the window curtain
Paige, Clyde, Zach, Liam, and Rusty return from another trip from Snow Mountain.
"Yeah. Ride 'em, cowboy!" Said Liam as Rusty starts laughing as they enter The Loud house. "Hey, Lincoln!"
Rusty, still laughing while riding on Liam's back; Liam glares at him and Rusty gets off his back as well as clearing his throat afterwards. "That was fun." He then stops smiling.
"Hey, Linky, ready to go snowboarding again?" asked Paige. "Linky?"
They then notice that Lincoln is sitting in a fetal position in the middle of the floor, with a penny, Bun-Bun, and a wadded-up napkin lying on the floor in front of him.
Lincoln, with a little smile on his face, then says "Hello, friends. Enjoying the outside world?"
"Whatcha all doing sitting in the middle of the floor like that?" asked Zach.
"Oh, living out the remainder of my life, in safety. If you guys were smart, you would join me." said Lincoln. "That accident made me realize that it's dangerous out there. I was one of the lucky ones. I'm a survivor. And so I simply decided that I'm never leaving my house again."
"That's crazy talk!" said Clyde.
"That's not crazy talk. This is crazy talk!". Rusty then does various forms of gibberish blabbing but his third blabbing makes his saliva hit Paige, making her hammerfist him to shut him up, bashing his head in. "Sorry."
"No, Rusty's right, Clyde. You saw what happened and next time it won't just be my butt, it'll be my armpit or my forehead." Said Lincoln.
"Or your other armpit!" said Rusty.
"I was wrong to go against nature. I'm just a Loud. What was I thinking? Walking…My family should be sedentary, like me." said Lincoln.
"Just sitting in your house? Ain't you gonna get lonesome?" asked Liam.
"I won't be alone, so I've got all the friends I need right here. This is Penny..." Lincoln then holds up a penny "and Bun-Bun..." he then holds up Bun-Bun. "and say hello to Used Napkin." Lincoln then holds up a used napkin.
"How are you gonna keep your grades at Royal Woods Middle School?" asked Paige.
Last year they all graduated from elementary school and are now going to middle school.
"No problem!" We then see Lynn Jr. wearing a Lincoln costume doing all of his homework. "I pulled in a couple of favors."
"What about eating?" asked Zach.
"I'm a Loud! I'll just eat my Dad's left overs." Lincoln then starts to eat Lynn Sr's left overs.
"Linky, sooner or later you're gonna have to go outside!" said Paige.
"Listen, I've told you but I'm never leaving my house again." said Lincoln.
"Never ever?" questioned Rusty.
"Never ever ever!" confirmed Lincoln.
"Never ever ever ever ever for never ever?!" asked Rusty.
"Never ever never never ever ever never!" replied Lincoln.
"Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever?!" repeated Rusty.
Lincoln then sighs exasperatedly. "Never ever..."
Lincoln and Rusty: "Never never never never ever never ever never…"
"Alright, Rusty, that is enough!" snapped Lincoln. "Bun-Bun, will you mind showing these five to the door?"
Lincoln then throws Bun-Bun to the door, opening it, and Clyde, Rusty, Liam, Zach, and an angry Paige leave.
"Thank you, Bun-Bun." said Rusty as he closes the door.
Outside, Paige is still glaring at Lincoln.
"I guess I'll to have to find a new best friend." said Clyde. "Hey, Mr. Grouse!"
Mr. Grouse then pops out of his window. "No!" He then slams his window shut.
"Aww!"
"Don't worry Clyde, we'll get Lincoln to come outside, and then he'll see there's nothing to be afraid of." said Paige.
"And that's when I punch him, right?" asked Rusty, as he holds a Boxing glove.
Paige then gives him a bummed look.
Clyde and Paige are bird catching outside the Loud house.
"Look at all the birds out here! Too bad Lincoln's missing out on all the fun!" Said Paige.
Clyde catches a blue jay. "I caught one!" Clyde then puts head in net and his blue jay sticks to his face. "Huh?"
Clyde then gets attacked by the blue jay, making him scream in pain.
"Look at those fools. Risking their lives, bird catching!" said Lincoln. "My new hobby is much more safer, isn't it Bun-bun? Dust collecting!" Lincoln then puts on a pair of glasses and a tiny net and waves it in the air. "I think I caught one!"
"We've got to try something else!" said Paige.
Rusty, Liam, and Zach are holding a cake in front of The Loud house.
Rusty, Zach, and Liam: "Three cheers on your birthday,
Lincoln! Three cheers for you!"
"Now you got to blow out the candles and make a wish." said Liam.
"I don't need the wish, Penny." said Lincoln. "Everything I could ever want is right here. In fact, let's sing our own song about the joy of staying indoors."
Lincoln: "I know of a place
where you never get harmed.
A magical place
with magical charms.
Indoors! Indoors! Indooooors!
Take it away, Penny!"
The penny lies silently on the floor.
"That penny has the most beautiful voice." said Rusty.
Zach then goes inside the window to angrily point at a smiling Lincoln. "That is it, Loud! We're gonna find you something that's so dang fun that you'll have to come outside!"
Cuts to montage
"Trampoline!" Said Clyde.
Rusty holds an ice cream cone. "Ice cream!"
"surfing!" Said Paige.
Rusty, holds two ice cream cones. "Two ice creams!"
Zach is seen riding on a Ferris wheel. "Ferris wheel!"
The two ice creams are now melting in Rusty's hands. "Still two ice creams!"
Liam struggling with a giant bull. "Bullwrestling!"
Rusty is seen washing an Lincoln's grandpa Alber in a tub. "Washing an old person!"
"Rusty, that's not fun." said Paige.
"It is for me!" said Albert.
Lincoln is still eating Lynn Sr's leftovers.
"Nothing's working, guys!" said Paige.
"What do we do?" asked Rusty,
"I say we take a bath!" suggested Albert.
"Wha...will you get out of here?" snapped Paige.
Clyde, Paige, Liam, Zach, and Rusty are hiding behind a bush and Rusty is in a gorilla suit.
"Now remember. Don't jump out until I give the signal!" said Paige.
"Right!" Rusty then zips up his mask.
"All right, Linky. You win. Stay inside forever." said Paige. "Yours is truly the iron will. Now, Rusty!"
Rusty comes out in the gorilla suit and acts crazy like a gorilla.
"Eek! A gorilla! Save us, Linky." said Paige.
"Okay, guys, really. This is your saddest attempt yet. Even Bun-Bun knows that's Rusty in the same costume that he wore for Halloween last year." said Lincoln.
Rusty continues dancing, as Clyde talks. "No, really! You've got to come and save us!"
Suddenly, a second Rusty shows up out of nowhere with an ice cream.
"Hey, Clyde," said #2 Rusty giving Lincoln a startled look. "who's your friend?"
"But you're supposed to be in the gorilla suit." said a confused Clyde.
"I am in the gorilla suit." said Rusty#1 as he unzips the gorilla suit. "I thought I was doing a pretty good job."
"If you're Rusty, then who's that?" asked Zach.
The second Rusty unzips his head, which reveals a real gorilla underneath!
"Ah! A real gorilla!" cried Liam.
"Huh?!" Was all that Lincoln could say.
The gorilla rips out of the Rusty suit it is wearing. Paige, Clyde, Liam, Zach, and Rusty are screaming. The gorilla grabs the five kids and puts them in a bag and repeatedly beats them.
"Oh, my gosh!" said Lincoln. Paige, Clyde, Liam, Zach, and Rusty are still screaming while the gorilla beats them. "This can't be happening!" The gorilla hits the five kids using a chair then beating them some more. "This is exactly the kind of thing I was talking about!" the gorilla can be seen still beating up the sack outside the window; it also does things like dribbling the sack and bouncing on it like it's a ball. "Well, they were asking for it. It's not like I didn't warn them about the dangers of outside. Yes, Bun-Bun, I know they're my two dearest friends in the world, but I told them, I wasn't going outside no matter what." Lincoln says to the stuffed rabbit.
"We can do without the name calling, thank you very much, Used Napkin!" Lincoln said the the napkin.
"I know, Bun-Bun. If I was out there, bagged by an ape, my friends would risk anything to save me." Lincoln then gets up. "And I've got to do the same for them. If I don't come back alive, Bun-Bun, take good care of Lily."
Lily then puts Bun-Bun in her mouth.
"Well, here we go. From the safety of my home, to the outside world." Lincoln gulps and shakes as he reaches for the door. The door shakes as well until Lincoln opens it. "I'm taking my" walks slowly "first step." continues walking. "So far, so good. I think I can do this!"
The wind blows a piece of paper onto his face, making the 12 year old scream. "Oh, dear God, get off of me, get off of me! Bum-Bun! Help me, help me!"
Mr. Grouse waters his plants and rolls his eyes and Lincoln removes the paper off his face. "I'm still alive! I did it! I made it outside! Nothing can stop me now!" The gorilla then grabs Lincoln. "Is it too late to go back inside again?" The gorilla then punches Lincoln in the face.
"It's too late." said Lincoln. "Paige? Clyde? Liam? Zach? Rusty?"
" Yes, Lincoln?" The five kids say I unison.
"I'm sorry I caused all this. I'm not scared of going outside anymore. But I'm terrified of gorillas now." said Lincoln.
"Ah, that's okay, Lincoln. Us too." said Paige.
"You know what I don't understand though?" said Lincoln. "What's the gorilla doing in Royal Woods in the first place?"
The gorilla's eyes then widen. The gorilla puts down Lincoln and takes off his mask to reveal he is Lincoln's sister, Luna, in a Gorilla costume.
"Oh! Well, it's funny you should, uh, you see, Sam, they're on to us!" said Luna.
A zebra rushes onto the screen, and the zebra is just Luna's girlfriend Sam in a costume.
"Let's get outta here!" said Sam in the Zebra costume.
Luna then puts on her gorilla mask and gets on Sam and rides away with her. Lincoln, Paige, Clyde, Liam, Zach, and Rusty are watching Luna ride on Sam into the sunset. Still acting in character.
The screen zooms out to reveal a family watching the episode on TV in bemusement. The father turns to the mother and gives her a confused look, he shakes his head, and turns off the TV.
The End!
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And that's a wrap. Now If you'll excuse I gotta go. This is Issac Flores signing out.
