Game of Thrones Tales: Lannister Family Values
Summary: In an alternative universe, King Robert calls on a different old friend and brother to assist him. But whose decency, kindness, and sense of honor, while a bit different from Ned Stark's are equally strong. But are the family values of House Addams a match for the ruthless Lannisters?
Part LXXIII…
Barth Cloning Containment Facility…
We supply armies, service staff, compliant copies of relatives and spouses, and coming soon, pets.
"Ah…" Newly appointed-by-coup Chancellor Taro Trumpo Don pauses with guards before a rather innocuous-looking door, smiling to a frowning Danerys and a frowning if as always morose, Ser Jonah just behind him…And Rachel of Duncan…
She rather surprisingly not under strict guard or worse, Ser Jonah had quietly noted to Danys…Given she supposedly had taken their side.
Drogon and Reallygone hovering overhead in the hallway, with what would have been frowns if they could manage…Their rather Quisling brother smugly poised over his new "dad", a real winner in his view.
Rachel trying to look noncommittally frost cool just beside the Chancellor…A bit torn inwardly…
Not, of course by the moral implications of what was about to be done…Heck, I was cloned and my genes manipulated…A little mind controlling could only improve the blonde bimbo "Queen" (Of what? And by what divine right of slaughter?)…
Potential triumph in view for her ostensible side, given her back door offer to string Danys along to her doom…Yay, team.
But, if the new and improved Danerys emerged gaga over her new so, ruler, and wanna-be World Emperor, what was likely to be the fate of the independent clones? And infinitely more important…Her own fate. Taro not really being very dependable as to promises made either in public and even less so for those made, as in this case, in secret, her value would likely be dropping like a stone once he had a new blonde, of even more usefulness, given dragon control and that ridiculous, but still a draw to idiots, "divine right to rule" thing, in his stable… And some, many in fact, would say, that highly over-rated "warmth" thing, even in near zombie state…
Though if truth be told…
Uh, not that he and I, you know, ever…Please…
Just that coupla times when we were workin' late on coup plans when Dad Pree wasn't around.
I mean he's reasonably good-looking and all…And one can't help but admire his ambitions, especially what with his poor boy background and all…
But we been strictly professional since he took office…And kinda downgraded me from ally to employee to flunkey…Frown.
Still, with Dad gone, he does need the Natural Philosophy…And that's my department. Though unfortunately, sister Cosima is better equipped there…Sigh. Great, I'm the new geek monkey…
Mental note to see Cosima floating in the city moat asap.
On the other hand, should Danerys escape his fiendish plan, we do have a sort of alliance. I'm just so good at backing multiple horses, inward beam…Heck I got my hand out to Bob Barftheron just in case as well…
(We knew that, Verysmuch in Redder Keep office…Middlefinger in tent office…)
And given our new Chancellor's not headed for a long and successful political career without her and her firepower…And is not likely to install clone Rachel as his new Queen anytime soon.
Rank prejudice…And I just know he likes Sarah better, anyway…She's so "spirited" and has the "warmth" crap fume.
And my knight in black armor and dark horse ally, Ser Ferdinand de Chavallier, is really hot for me, as well as perfectly matched in temperament…And so utterly lacking in that sort of nasty prejudice that would keep him from marrying a clone…
"…Here we are." Trumpo Don noted, startling Rachel in her revery. "Rachel? I shan't be requiring your services inside just now..."
What, did he finally read Dad's manual? Rachel, staring.
Ser Jonah eyeing her…
Thought so…Eyes Danys who shrugged.
Even I'm not that surprised, Ser J…
"Indeed, my Queen…" Taro resumed, turning to Danys, "I think it best we keep this discussion of final plans between us and a few dozen guards. Ser Jonah, I'm sure you understand the need to keep state secrets, secret?"
"I'm not leaving the Khanessi's side, Chancellor." Ser Jonah, firmly.
"I trust Ser Jonah completely and all that jazz…" Danys, insistent. "He should come too."
"I see…Completely, eh?" cool smile on Taro's face.
Here it comes, Rachel thinks…Sorry, pal…Glance to Ser Jonah…
Next time learn the fine art of betrayal first before putting it into practice…
"The agent provocateur of King Robert's spymaster?" Taro continued, archly.
"What?" Danys blinked. "The which what?"
Oh, gods…Busted. Ser Jonah sighed. Unless…
"The spy King Robert's Lord Verysmuch placed in your group…" Rachel, translating…
Thanks…Ser Jonah eyed the clone grimly.
"Quite true I assure you." Taro beamed. "Rachel?" he turned to her.
Right, flunkey and donkey worker…Lovely…She thought, pulling parchment files from several folders in her and two attendants' arms. "Here, Chancellor. The full report and correspondence we intercepted from Ser Jonah Job to Lord Verysmuch in Westeros. Including intercepted ravenposts…"
Danys eyeing the proffered documents…Turning to Ser Jonah…
"No, now come on…" she pushed them away, the attendants grabbing... "This is just to make the distort thing. Break us up. I mean, the Queen and advisor thing, natch…" nervous glance about.
Wouldn't want to encourage talk of scandal… And I for one do not support overturning the social order…
Ser Jonah, incapable of sinking even further into despair, merely sighing…
"I think your Highness means 'dissention'." Rachel noted.
"Whatever…It's fake. How could you get this stuff?" she eyed the parchment documents with nervous disdain. "We were mostly out in the desert or with my Doofraki before that." Avoiding Ser Jonah's sadly morose look of despondency.
"Some date from before you left with your brother to marry Khan Singh…Others were intercepted by someone we had well placed with you…" Taro, just a bit coyly. "Given my devotion to you, dearest, began even before we met here in our own romantic paradise, of my making." Smile.
Well placed…By me…Rachel frowned. "Paradise", or whatever, made…By me…
With Dad, rest his black soul, and my sisters' minor assist…
"What? Who? No…" Danys shook head. "It's all lies, right Ser Jonah?" Glance to his sad face…
"Naturally he was only doing his paid mercenary duty to Westeros intelligence…" Taro smirked. "And he had his past as a human trafficker/slaver to clean up…"
"Khanessi…" Jonah began…
She waved a hand…Turning away…
Reallygone…Drogon with what would have been, if possible for dragons, aghast looks…
Stepdad? No…
Knew it…Viserion, smugly.
Well, soon as new Stepdad's spy told me while brib…Persuading me for the greater good…To bring down those Ravenposts of Ser Downer, never really a chance, loser, intact …But found it eminently plausible.
Welcome to the real world, chumps, eyeing the other dragons.
"I can't believe it…Ser Jonah? You were spying on me? Wait, who got this stuff? Who was…?"
Eerie stepping by Taro, pulling off guard's helmet, smirking a bit now.
Shit…Et tu, Eerie? Et tu? Danys sighed.
"It may as well now be known, Khanessi…" Eerie smiled.
"One of my best operatives, my young apprentice…Please note that I am an equal opportunity employer…And being of Doofraki origins, she was perfect for the job. She acted in your best interests, of course, my love." Taro, a bit smugly.
Oh, yes…The Chancellor is always two steps ahead of everybody. This penniless boy from nowhere who climbed steadily to the heights of…
"Sorry to interrupt your usual internal monologue, sir…" Rachel cut in. "As glad as we are to avoid the spoken version, perhaps you should get on with the details inside?"
"Yes, indeed…" Taro nodded. "Guard, seize this spy and traitor to his Queen…" signaling the newly vived clone guard who moved to grab Ser Jonah…He backing away, snatching another guard's sword with deft and elegant move.
Damn, he's good…Dreamy, really…The various women watching, including even the angry if sorrowful Danys…And the appreciative master, or mistress, spy, Eerie…A reluctant…Would be cool to spare him as a sex toy…Rachel…And several guards, not all female.
"Traitor! You dare?!…Guards!" Taro cried, hand to sword.
Though as Ser Jonah eyed him, he considered.
After all the guy-in-charge should really think of the people and how much they need him. And I'm about to become a husband…I have important responsibilities. And a horde of guards here…
"No! Stand down!" Danys called.
"My dear…" And you folks 'stand down' in front of your Chancellor…Taro eyed her.
"I don't want him hurt. You stand down too, Ser Jonah. Put it down." She insisted.
"Yes, Khanessi…" Ser Jonah, lowering sword.
Damn…Sure I could've cut through to the sob before they got me.
"It's true?" she eyed him.
"Before we met, I was working for Verysmuch, yes." Nod, sigh. "For a while after as well…Before I knew you and what you truly are…My Khanessi. But, when I pledged myself to you…" desperately.
"I don't wanna hear it! Enough!" she covered her ears.
On the plus side, I can stop being embarrassed about all the times he was right and I was wrong…
But, oh…Jonah? Shaking head.
"I spare your life. Get out." She ordered, pointing down the hallway.
"Khanessi?"
"You heard me!" her voice quavering but firm.
I sure did, Taro beaming…Just working out perfectly, what a great day I'm having…
Not to mention the whole month's been terrific. I should try my luck with the Barth lottery.
"But, Khanessi…You must have…"
"Protection? By you?!" she eyed Ser Jonah. "Gods, I'm lucky not to have wound up poisoned or whatever…" waving hands to drive him off as he tried to approach. Guards blocking him…
"Yes, indeed." Taro nodded solemnly. "And I think we should hold this man pending investigation at least." Waving to guards who closed round.
Sadly, when said investigation commences, say a few months from now, not only will Mr. Morose but Able Enough in Fighting, be found dead in his cell under the usual mysterious circumstances…But you, dear heart…He eyed Danys…Will be far too busy sucking my toes and baring our first child to care.
"I said he's spared!" Danerys firmly. "Let him go! But leave, Ser Jonah. Now! Never see me again! You…!" she glared, then turned away to hide tears. He offering desperately pleading look to no avail…
"Go! Or I will let the Chancellor hold you!"
Right…Wait? Let? Taro blinked.
"Go…Now! Or…!" Danerys fumed. Ser Jonah sadly shaking head, turning. Head bowed, arms hanging as he walked through the parting guards, an attendant opening the door at the hall's end for him.
Quite a number of the guards struggling to repress sad looks and not a few tears…
Let? Taro pondered, eyeing the grim-faced Danys. Well, it's only for a few hours more and then it'll be "let me rock your world, my god-emperor Taro"…
Must tell the guys to repress that look in her…I much prefer her happy and smiling.
"That's not only foolish practically but kinda sad romantically…" Eerie hissed to Rachel…
"It is known." Rachel, slightly smug to Eerie's annoyed glare.
…
The wagon train under Ser Fester and Maester/Minister Purile heading forth from Kings' Landing…A column of knightly officers on horseback, footsoldiers following. A crowd watching, offering cheers though uncertain as to the occasion…Though both leaders and their people offered waves back…
Fester in new battle armor…It's the latest and I appreciate lil' Tyr's gift, but I kinda miss my worn old stuff…Riding rather more comfortably now on the pillow suggested by Purile…
Purile in new master robes over his own armor… Hey, even if I just advise, we're heading for a fight and I'm no fool, nuck, nuck, nuck.
"We're off on the road to the Midland…Our new weapons concealed in the back…" Fester…
"Where we're goin', why we're goin'…Sorry I can't tell you sure…" Purile…Wagging finger…
Chorus…Fester, Purile, knights and soldiers.
"But we'll lay you eight-to-five when we're done, Lady Arryn is manure…Kaboom!"
"Yes, the old boys are off to the Midland…" Fester, Purile…Thumbs up to each other…
"Well, hooray, blow a horn…Whatever distracts the crowd from asking questions…" noting to men in column…
Fester, Purile…
"We may run into villains but we're not afraid to roam…"
"When we use our secret weapons, the Menace'll turn to bloody foam."
"For old guys, we do get around…" beaming to each other…
"Like those press gangs to the Wall, we are Northward bound…"
"Like that fellow racing past us on the road, you just missed with the crossbow, obviously a spy…" Purile notes, shrewdly.
"Eh, makes it sportin'…And he may not know we're doing more than investigating…" Fester shrugs.
Together…
"Like an occupying army…We are…Midland bound…"
"And if you can be more specific, we'll have you executed." Purile notes to attendants sternly.
