Game of Thrones Tales: Lannister Family Values
Summary: In an alternative universe, King Robert calls on a different old friend and brother to assist him. But whose decency, kindness, and sense of honor, while a bit different from Ned Stark's are equally strong. But are the family values of House Addams a match for the ruthless Lannisters?
Part LXXV…
On the one hand, Eerie in her armor, eyed Danerys as she watched a sadder than ever, if that were possible, Ser Jonah, trudging through the ranks of guards in the Barth Containment Facility on his exit…
A true romantic tragedy, it is known…
The permanent kind, soon, if I have anything to do with it, Taro Trumpo Don noted to himself, look of grim contentment on his features.
On the other, maybe I gotta shot…Once I reveal I'm one of Lord Addams' most trusted operatives, sent out months ago to keep an eye on the Targaryen Princess and provide a source not behold to Lord Verysmuch…
(I knew…Verysmuch in office smugly, suddenly blanching…Wait! I did not know that. Damn!)
"Well, that's that, my dear. Traitor disposed of, clone army proven true…" Taro, happily smug.
"I want your promise Jonah leaves Barth alive." Danys noted, sternly.
"Certainly, if you desire it, my dearest…" indulgent nod. Drogon and Reallygone hovering above, eyeing him with narrow slits.
Don't count on your luck, pal…If anything happens to 'stepdad'…Shocked as we are at the news of his betrayal.
Humans…Mammals…
They may be warm-blooded, but soulwise, cold as the ice up North.
Not that our brother's shocking betrayal…Yeah, mind control…Sure…They eyed Viserion likewise hovering, sly smile at Taro…Says much for we of the colder-blooded.
Though "stepdad" did read us that article in "Natural Philosophy Excerpts" suggesting dragons might have evolved or split off into birds and could have been somewhat warmer blooded than previously thought…
Though…Not you, brother…Both grimly eyeing Viserion.
Yeah, methinks "ex-stepdad" begoing the way of all flesh…Soon, Viserion sneers. Heh, heh, heh…Plume of smoke at each "heh".
The world's such a big place, after all, Taro thought, contentedly. And I have enough operatives already scattered about it and soon will have more…
Heck, it might be fun to set her after him…His head her wedding gift to her beloved Taro…
I can picture it now…The romantic reunion…Maybe I'll even have her seduce him...A last night of happy bliss. Putting a smile even on Mr. Morose's face. Then, the next morning… "Just one thing, Jonah…I'm truly and completely into Taro now, so accept this from him! Bastard!"
Yeah! Screw that "revenge is best served cold" crap. Hot and kinkily erotic, that's my kind of revenge.
Though I suppose it would be just my luck she'd get pregnant. And my faith opposes abortion big time. Great, my heir actually Jonah's kid. Rather like that vile idiot Joffrey and his "father".
No, I think we'll go for honesty. She tracks him down and in adrenalin-soaked adoration for me, cuts him down and carts his head back preserved in a bag of salt.
That'll do…Plus maybe once a year I could bring her out of mind control and let her know what she's done…Assuming the brain simionizing isn't permanent, Phat was never quite certain on that. Pity he didn't live long enough to complete all tests.
But it works and that's enough…
"You have something on your mind, Chancellor?" Danys, regarding him.
Hmmn? "Oh, nothing really…Sorry. I drifted off there…Contemplating our perfect new world after our victory."
Sure…Right…Rachel thought.
More like contemplating her licking his feet…If I weren't totally amoral and self-centered, I could be outraged at him.
Though that would probably mean I'd be as dead as our late Council…And as my sisters soon enough will be…
"Come, let us withdraw into the 'conference room' here…" Taro suggested, waving arm to indicate a room to his left…Several guards and attendants eyeing each other.
Always a little disturbing, even gross when they come out after the 666 process…Though to date it's only been test clone soldiers and a couple of hired "professionals" to test on wild type humans.
Course it was nice to see "See It All Cindy" become a devout septa and devoted teacher of disabled kids at the City School but that was when Phat Pree was still in charge of brain simonizing. Though one does look forward to Barth ruling the known Planetos, there was a higher moral tone then, one must admit.
…
Meanwhile at the Dyad Citadel…
The four of five original clone sisters seated in conference, in Phat's old office…With an anxious Donnie in attendance…On Alison as well as present.
"Guys? We gotta rethink this deal with Taro." Sarah frowned, scratching at her wig. Bloody thing's got full of cooties, I think.
Well, I should know better than to let me girl Kyra play with it. I've no doubt her pup's gone and used it for a bed.
"Was never deal I liked, I bowed to social pressure and democracy." Helena noted. "And why is dirty greedy sister Rachel in charge of negotiations?"
"She runs the Dyad, thanks to Dad." Cosima shrugged. "She's in with Taro. Before Dad passed, it was working out with him keeping an eye on her, just barely. Now though, the restraints are off and she's clearly got her own agenda."
"Exactly. What did I always say? We can't trust her…Or really, Papa Phat." Alison, insistent.
"That is not fair. Papa was doing his best for us." Helena, frowning but tearing up a bit at the thought of Phat. "Dirty sexy oppressor blondie Princess and her dragons! I will cut their hearts out."
"She was only defending her children…" Alison noted, looking to Donnie. "We'd probably have burnt anyone trying to hurt our sweeties. It was Donnie telling Dad he'd hurt him if he tried to have Gemma and Oscar sent back to the orphanage or to experiment on them that convinced me I could trust him again. My good guy…" Pat and fond beam to a slightly blushing Donnie.
"Won't matter much if she's 666'd." Donnie noted. "When I worked for your dad it seemed like no one, even some mystical fireresistant Princess could resist the process. You guys are lucky he hadn't developed it to incorporate on you."
"Order 666!" Alison cried.
All staring, Sarah, Helena glaring.
"Just checking again." She noted. "You can't be too careful with Dad and his latent commands and desire for control, however much he truly cared for us. Not to mention, Taro." Shudder. "Come now, you all know…That power mad bastard'd love to 666 us and Rachel'd be happy to help."
"Fine, but I think you've done enough tests…" Sarah, sternly.
"Well, Sarah…" Cosima, pushing spectacles back, eyed her. "Ally does have a point. Actually, though we should have Donnie do the tests, just a bit more forcefully. Papa or Taro might have buried a command to ignore 666 from any of us."
"Sestra Cosima is right. Come cuddly bear of brother-in-law via secret ceremony unsanctioned by unfeeling prejudice of Barthian law, give the order properly and we see if you have harem." Grin by Helena to a bashful Donnie.
"Bloody nonsense…" Sarah sighed. "But fine, go ahead Hendrix. But remember, if it works I'll bloody bust yer balls when I come out of it if you pull any funny business."
Sure you will…Alison, dark look. As if we all didn't love my Donnie…How could we not? We're clones.
"Go on, honey. Cosima's right. Be forceful. Manly." Alison, encouragingly. "Master."
"I'm just setting the mood there." She quickly noted to Helena's and Sarah's grins. "Donnie is the man of the house but he'd never be sexistly oppressive."
"Unless it works…" Sarah, coyly. "Then…Who knows?" lewd smile to Donnie who gulped.
"If it works, have her clean our house for the rest of the day." Alison glared.
"Come on, brother…" Helena, sweet smile. "Just to be certains…We know we can trust you."
"No question." Cosima nodded, supportive smile.
"Thanks, guys. Ok…" Donnie, tensing. "Implement Order 666!"
"Oh, Master…" Sarah cooed.
"Very funny." Alison glared. "Can we now get back to the business of saving our lives and the world?"
"Right after I rub my Lord Donnie's feet…" Sarah grinned.
"Careful, sister." Alison raising head proudly. "Fun's fun but nobody but me touches those beautiful feet."
…
The Vale…
"My schizoid, psychotic Lady…" a knight in armor, Ser Earnestly by name, (Foolishly Earnest by sardonic nickname), kneeling before the ridiculously elevated throne of Lady Ophelia Arryn. "Word has come from our scouts…"
"What? What?! What word?! How dare you interrupt the beautiful moment of a mother feeding her child…!" she shrieked, red-faced in her throne, white robes flapping about.
Oh, gods…I would have to choose that moment…Earnestly, sighing while averting eyes.
"You may have given our beautiful little prince here serious tummy troubles! You thoughtless…Robbie? Are we feeling all right? Oh, my dearest boy!" she hugged the just detached Robyn who seemed rather dazed as well as his usual sickly.
"But, my Lady…The scouts' report?"
"To the worst Valeryan volcano with their report! I ought to have you tossed out the Moon Door! Coming upon us without notice…"
"My Lady, I was given audience…"
"You were? Who allowed that? Ser Twittly? My attendant? Scribes!" she cried. "I want the records of the past half-hour read!"
"My Lady you yourself told Ser Twittly of the Appointments I was granted audience…"
Urrrrrrppppp….Robyn looking up.
Eehew…Repressed sentiment about the chamber…
"Make the bad man fly!"
You know…A knight guard at attention hissed to his adjacent colleague. We were a constitutional semi-independent monarchy till some of the idiots here gave Lady Crazy full reign thinking they could manipulate her for advantage…Technically, the constitution remains in force.
"Technically" is all very well but won't keep the guard and Mord from tossing you out the Moon Door…The other hissed back.
Ser Twittly, attendants, scribes all rushing in…
"Now, now, sweetheart. We'll find someone later to fly for you. My apologies, Ser Earnestly." Ophelia now shifted to warm consideration in jarring transition.
"A mistake was clearly made. Please forgive Us and know he that made the mistake in protocol will face proper punishment."
"Oh, not a problem my Lady. Truly. But if I may get on with my report from the scouts?"
"With all alacrity. We are all attention, aren't we, Robyn?"
"Want to see the bad man fly!" he cried.
"Yes, yes. Perhaps later." She noted. "But lets hear the report. Ser Earnestly?"
"Yes, my Lady. The scouts to the east report a large force from King's Landing is on the way, about to cross the Bridge of Disaster and Wailing and enter the Vale heartland."
"A large force…? From the capital? I've had no word." She stared. "Surely this is an embassy from King Robert to express his condolences for our poor husband's tragic demise? Who failed to receive the King's Ravenposting? Who?! Who?!" shrieking as she rose, setting Robyn down.
Robyn surprisingly thoughtful at the Knight's words…
Large force, from the King…The King Papa always said really enjoyed killing crazy threats to his kingdom, like Mom…
Uh, oh.
"Not likely, ma'am." Ser Earnestly shook head. "Much as the King would wish to shore up support from the Vale given the news of Prince Rently's recent marriage and marital alliance..."
"Oh, my…" she blinked, suddenly calming.
"Well, we must dispatch ravens at once. Dispatch ravens! Ravens! Ravens!" she rose again, shrieking to a rosy color.
Uh, boy…The various knights and attendants and scribes.
"And inquire as to the nature of this…" she snapped fingers at Ser Twittly who summoned a leading scribe diplomatic expert.
"Incursion might be too strong a word here, ma'am." The scribe noted. "I might use 'unexpected visit'."
"Right… 'unexpected visit.'" She concluded. Calming immediately... "And of course pick out a nice present for Rently and his bride, to send." winning smile.
Unexpected visit, my ass…The scribe expert eyed Ser Twittly. I'd say Psycho's days are numbered if anyone happens to open a gate. Glancing about the chamber at the carefully noncommittal faces, some just for a second or two reflecting their inward joy…
Yep, her reign of Terror's just about over. Me thinks this castle will be gently rendered.
But till that blessed day when Mom and Joffrey Jr are on pikes…Best to keep a low profile.
"Well?" Ophelia glanced about. "Have my orders been carried out? Have the ravens been sent out?"
"If your Lady would care to compose a message…" Ser Twittly suggested, patiently. "Or allow myself with Scribe Tacitus to do so…?"
"Yes, yes…Go, go!" she waved them off.
"Make them…" Robyn, wisely catching himself… "Hurry!"
"You heard your gracious Lord! Hurry!" she cried. "Call out the Guard and have the defenses manned!"
Both bowing their way out as several knights stepped forward to salute Ophelia and request somewhat more definite orders as to firing on the King's forces thus declaring the Vale in rebellion, etc.
"I suggest, my Lord…" Tacitus began as the chamber door closed and left them in hallway.
"Right, two messages. One from Lady Nutcase and co, requesting more info…One from those of us confirmed in loyalty to King Robert, begging his assist and requesting a free pass out." Twittly.
"Your reputation for keen insight and fast action remains intact, Ser Twittly." Tacitus nodded.
….
