The gulf of grief always fascinated me. Like why would it have such a specific and unfortunate name? A few days into the gulf though, I understood. The sky wept at every moment. The rain fell in drizzles and storms with no rhyme and reason between them. There was no way to tell the difference or predict which was coming when the sky darkened to begin its mourning.
Traversing the Gulf took us three weeks. We had to stop every once in a while, as storms washed across the waters. We had to choose between sailing through the smoking sea or risking the open ocean.
The smoking sea would be quicker but more likely to kill us, while the open ocean came with its own set of risks. With the compass, we weren't scared of getting knocked off course and lost at sea. The ocean had more dangers than storms, though.
The choice was between certain death or probable death. It wasn't much of a choice. We sailed towards the ocean out of the gulf and prepared for Valyria.
On the first day out of the gulf, the weather cleared up. The sun was high and there wasn't a cloud in sight. The ocean was the most beautiful thing in the world—boundless blue on every side. The sun gave the ocean a beautiful ambiance. It was beauty beyond beauty.
I luxuriated in the sight. I could see that most of the unsullied had come out from below the deck to enjoy the view. This was perfect, and then it all had to go wrong.
If I wasn't so busy enjoying the sight, then I would have been more alert. Maybe I could have prevented what happened. I only noticed what happened when two of the unsullied next to me let out screams of shock. They were yanked off their feet and thrown into the ocean. I turned around in shock and was just in time to spot Greybeard having his legs grabbed by a large black tentacle. He had been more alert than the others because he managed to grab a cleaver. He cut off the end of the tentacle that had grabbed onto him.
"Kraken" I screamed at my crew to alert them. "Shield wall, get in formation. Arm yourselves" I screamed orders at the crew. I then ordered a passing unsullied, named Greythorn to get me my bow, quiver, and sword. I had no idea how useful arrows would be against a Kraken, but we'd find out today.
"Prepare yourselves" I screamed out, "We feast on Kraken tonight". The next tentacle appeared over the side of one of the longships. It swept through it, knocking most of the unsullied of their feet, and a few unlucky ones inside the water. I grit my teeth. This would be tough, but I wouldn't doubt myself. This Kraken would fall, and I would be Theon Krakenslayer by the end of the day. I waited for the next tentacle with my bow in hand.
Once it appeared over a different ship, I filled it with as many arrows as I could. The tentacle took 12 arrows before crashing onto the deck of the ship. It caused some fractures in the wood, but nothing disastrous.
The tentacle slunk back into the ocean and the seas were calm. I almost allowed myself to let out a sigh of relief. The two different tentacles that appeared over the ship to my left had me on high alert. They swept through, taking most of the unsullied on the deck into the ocean with them.
A third tentacle rose above my ship, and I also filled this one with arrows. One of the unsullied, Greysails sent a spear into it that seemed to be the last straw. The tentacle slunk back into the ocean, and I replaced my bow with my sword.
My instincts proved to be correct when a tentacle rose out of the water and stabbed straight at me. I dodged around it and stabbed my sword into it. I then ran forward with my sword still within the tentacle, cleaving it open.
The tentacle went back in, and I realized my mistake. I'd only succeeded in making it angry. Four different tentacles rose and wrapped themselves around my ship. They began to squeeze when the crew and I moved into action. Greybeard grabbed two short swords. He stabbed them into one of the tentacles before dragging them across it the way I did earlier. The other unsullied stabbed into two of the other tentacles and were working in concert to open them up.
I climbed up the sails to dive down on the last tentacle sword first. I lamented my lack of Valyrian steel as my sword got stuck halfway through the tentacle. I tried to force it through, but it didn't work and when I tried to bring out my sword, I ended up with only the hilt.
I threw the hilt away and rolled off the tentacle. I looked up and realized the unsullied had done what they did best. They attacked. The tentacles retreated into the ocean. I reached down to grab a bolt from one of the ruined ballistae that lay on the floor. I was done with this Kraken. I looked around my small fleet and saw how much damage it had done. It had killed at least a third of my forces. Fuck that. The unsullied looked up to me. Even now. They looked at me like I had the answers. Like I was a god that would save them.
I hadn't been with them for long but what I felt was real. I felt love towards my army- no, my people. Weeks of training with them. Of watching them move past the damage done by the so-called good masters. And now most of them lay dead. All by the same beast.
My surveying of the bodies stopped when I saw one, I didn't just recognize as an acquaintance, Greyblood. He was my friend. We'd trained together every single day. He had a simple goal in life- to see everything the world had to offer. I promised him that, and I failed. Even in this life, I was doomed to disappoint those that believed in me.
Fuck that. I saw red at that moment. I heard the blood flow straight to my ears.
I took a deep breath and then ran off the deck and dove straight into the water- ignoring Greybeard's calls. I'd kill this thing one way or the other. As I entered the water, I could appreciate the scale of this creature. It was big. Very fucking big. Didn't matter though. The bigger they are, the harder they fall, innit?
I swam towards it, and it noticed me at that exact moment. I weaved through the first two tentacles but the third one sent me flying out of the water and into the air for a bit. I took a deep breath again and straightened my body into a dive as I fell back in.
I went again and swam towards it. For the first time since I entered puberty, I didn't hold back. I wasn't scared of discovery anymore. I went towards the creature like an arrow from a bow. In front of me, I held the bolt from the ballistae. For the first time, I prayed to the drowned God to make my aim true.
I was incredibly lucky when I flew straight into the creature's eye, killing it instantly. The Kraken sank as it lost the ability to float under its power. It sank to the floor, and I swam out of the water to cheers from my men. I guess they figured that the Kraken had to be dead. I had surfaced from the depths after all, and the ocean had calmed.
I swam towards my flagship and Greybeard tossed me a piece of rope that he used to pull me up onto the ship. The cheers intensified at that, and I revelled in it. These were my people. I, Theon Krakenslayer, had protected them.
I still saw the bodies though and my mood turned on a dime. I was further saddened by what I had to order next. We couldn't bury them or burn them, so all we could do was grant them an Ironborn funeral. Throw them overboard and leave them to the Drowned God's mercy.
With my mood ruined I retreated to my quarters to change clothes. I then ordered Greybeard to get a proper accounting of our losses and toss the bodies overboard. He was happy as I was to do that, but he understood, and he made the other unsullied understand.
On my way in, I changed my mind. I couldn't leave them like that. I decided to send every one of them overboard myself, after saying a prayer so they'd find the drowned god's halls. I have no idea when I became a true believer, but it happened.
I had the other unsullied gather the bodies and I said a prayer for each man before throwing them overboard. I used a piece of rope to jump from ship to ship and repeated the same thing. By the time I was done, the sun had set, and night had come upon us. We ate our thankfully intact rations and went to bed morose.
I tossed and turned for hours before I came up to the deck to get some breeze.
"Can't sleep, Captain?" A familiar voice asked. I turned around sharply to look at Greybeard.
"I failed you all today," I said, disappointed in myself.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" he sounded genuinely confused. Had he forgotten what happened today?
"A Kraken took half the men. 213 men died today. In one attack. Because they followed me, and I couldn't save them. They relied on me, and I let them down."
"Don't be ridiculous Captain, we all followed you on a journey to Valyria. We all fully expect to die but dying in service of a worthy captain is what we sought. You are that captain."
"Am I, though? I made so many mistakes. When we saw the first tentacles, I should have ordered someone to man the ballistae. Even if we only had three, they could have done more damage to the Kraken than our strikes. I was foolish" I was shocked at the amount of self-hate in my voice.
"Captain, this was your first battle. None of us thought about the Ballistae. We did what came easily to us. Yes, you made mistakes. But one thing my father always thought me was that there is no true failure, only learning for next time"
"The people who died won't have any next time though" I interrupted.
"Then accept that. Move forwards for them. They died believing in you to take us to Valyria. Do that and make them proud."
I understood now. I'd make it to Valyria as my penance for the souls lost here today. One day, I'd meet them in the drowned god's halls. When they asked if it was worth it, I'd be able to look them straight in the eyes and say yes.
A/N; How's it looking so far? Special thanks to the folks on pa-atreon for making this all possible. If you're interested in reading the next three chapter and have three dollars to spare, then you should head over there. The link is on my profile, and the username is the same as the one I use here.
