Chapter Three – The Truth is in the Wine
Former Evil Queen, Wicked Witch of the West and Snow White, sit on the brown leather seats of Regina's study, circling a relatively large bottle of tequila. It's quite absurd if Regina thinks about it. Nothing about this scene makes the least bit of sense. In fact, if anyone from the Enchanted Forest were to walk in her study at this very moment, their brains would most likely implode through their skull.
But this rather odd combination of people is her family. And despite the lack of words they share as Regina sips the harsh drink and leans back restlessly into her chair, she's more than grateful for their presence.
Having them both in the room somehow makes it easier and holding onto that mental glimpse of Robin becomes less painful. It becomes almost comforting to see the love he once had in his eyes.
The love that, if spilled, could make up an entire ocean.
Regina keeps her gaze fixed ahead, but nothing comes into focus. Her sight remains trapped in her mind, clinging onto Robin for as long as she could. And she's afraid that if she moves, if she so much as blinks, he will disappear.
"Regina?" Mary-Margret leans toward her, placing a comforting hand on Regina's knee. "Are you alright? You haven't said a word since we sat down."
Mary-Margret's voice snaps Regina back to the bitter reality. Robin's smile fades away until all that is left are his eyes. But even they begin to grow further away, leaving behind a perpetual darkness.
Regina closes her eyes, catching the developing tears before they fall. "I'm fine."
"You can talk to us," Zelena assures her.
"I said I'm fine."
Mary-Margret's lips form a tight line as she leans her head to the side. "It's completely normal you know…to feel like this. You don't have to hide it."
Regina's eyes snap open. A stifled sob scratches past her throat. "Is it, though? To feel like you've lost everything? To feel like the universe enjoys getting a kick out of you? Like no matter what you do or say, you'll always be life's personal punching bag? Because that's how I feel. I live in constant fear of when I'm set to receive the next hit, always searching for a shadow rather than enjoying the light."
Zelena and Mary-Margret glance at one another and then shift their focus back to Regina. No one responds.
She doesn't expect them to.
"But none of that matters," Regina sighs as she looks away. "Why should I get the benefit of a blissful life after all the things I've done?"
"Regina, that was the past," Mary-Margret says, shaking her head. "You've changed. We all have."
"That means nothing. It doesn't alter the number of people I've hurt, the number of villages I've burned to the ground, the countless lives I've…taken." Regina swallows thickly. Her throat aches while attempting to hold back the silent cries. "What's done is done, and I have to live with that. Everyday. So even while I choose to do good, evil still lives inside me."
"Evil lives within everyone," Zelena says with a measure of understanding.
A sad smile appears over Regina's bare lips. "But not everyone gives into its seductive lure. I know what it's like to indulge in every impulse, to do whatever the hell I want and not give a damn about anybody else. Sometimes it's hard to choose good when you've tasted the sweet waters of evil."
Zelena nods in agreement, but Mary-Margret blinks rapidly in surprise. "Are you saying you don't like doing good?"
"Precisely." Regina looks down at her fidgeting thumbs for a moment. She realizes how awful it must sound, but it's the truth. "What use is doing good when all it gets me is endless suffering? I've worked so hard to redeem myself and for what? I still watch everyone get what they want while everything I have gets ripped away from me."
Mary-Margret's hand falls over Regina's, giving the back of her palm a tight squeeze. "And I have yet to see you stop fighting."
"I almost did."
"Regina, Robin's death was not your fault."
"It wasn't Robin," Zelena cuts in. "It's Hook's return, isn't it?"
Hook. Just his name sends fire through her veins. Regina nods. "I suppose it's a combination of the two."
"Seems like an opportunity missed," Zelena mutters under her breath.
Mary-Margret whips her head around and glares at the woman. "Zelena!"
"Oh please," Zelena rolls her eyes. "Don't even pretend for a moment that you're pleased with his miraculous comeback. He cares for nothing but himself and his arm candy. No offense."
Mary-Margret turns around fully and lifts her forefinger. "My feelings about Hook being back are irrelevant."
Zelena shrugs, looking over to Regina. "All I'm saying is that he wouldn't be missed if you decided to dabble in dark magic again, sis."
"Don't listen to her," Mary-Margret warns.
Zelena's words sink into Regina's brain. She can't say the idea has never come up because it most certainly has. More than once. But every time the thought of sending Hook back where he belonged crossed her mind, fueling her with rage and agony, something else quickly followed suit. Emma. Getting rid of the pirate would mean devastating Emma. She simply couldn't find it in herself to pursue such an action. Had this been four years ago? Perhaps. But times have changed.
As much as she'd love to see the blonde without the anchor pulling at her hip, she also wants her to be happy—for Henry's sake of course. And if it's the one-handed wonder who makes her so, then so be it.
Regina opens her mouth, ready to speak but quickly decides against what she's about to say. Evidently confessing to Mary-Margret about her preferred plans for Hook is irrational. She would just be proving everyone right, giving them all a reason to believe that the evil queen inside her was, in fact, planning to pay a visit.
"You said you almost stopped fighting," Mary-Margret says, now directing her full attention toward Regina. "What made you continue?"
"Not 'what,' it's who."
"Alright then, who?"
"I reminded myself that if I don't fight against my instincts," Regina continues, "I lose the one person I can't live without. Henry. I'll admit that when Robin died, I wanted justice and I was prepared to make sure it was served."
Mary-Margret gives Regina a disapproving look, but she ignores it and gets to her point instead. "But I didn't do any of that because I know it's wrong. Despite what most people think, in this godforsaken town, I can control my destructive impulses. As hard as it is, I do it. And I do it because I can't bear the thought of losing anyone else I love.
"I just want to be happy. But it seems that happiness is not in the cards for me. Perhaps there is no such thing as redemption, and we're all doomed to pay for what we've done. I've afflicted so much pain, caused so much suffering, that I couldn't even keep track. And maybe this is what I deserve. Maybe this is my karmic fate, my condemned destiny...whatever suits you."
Mary-Margret looks at her in the typical Mary-Margret way. She oozes with compassion, like a golden glow that shines around her. There's warmth in her tone when Mary-Margret says, "I don't believe that. I think we hold our own destiny."
Regina sinks into her armchair. "If that were true, a lot of things would have been different."
"No actually, they wouldn't have," Mary-Margret says as a matter-of-fact. "You can't control the things that happen around you. No one can."
Regina rolls her eyes in attempts to hold back the tears that suddenly spring to her lids. She forces a smile, but her cheeks immediately push the corners of her lips into a quivering thin line.
Mary-Margret leans in, ducking her head down to Regina's line of vision. "What you can control is how you react to them. So, you can either destine yourself to eternal suffering, you can hide away from reality and allow it to dim your shine, or…you can bounce back, stronger and brighter than ever."
Regina looks up at Mary-Margret. She doesn't even ponder the statement because the woman is right. Regina had been setting herself up for failure. She had been her whole life, always quick to shove away any opportunity to forgive, falling into the hands of vengeance instead.
Anger was all she had. It's all she's ever known.
Who would she be without it?
"And how do you suppose I 'bounce back' from all of this?" Regina quirks her brow as though she's about to hear the most ludicrous of all replies.
"You need to let go."
But how is one supposed to let go of something so precious? The idea seems almost impossible to Regina. Living with pain makes more sense to her than releasing it. Where would it go if she weren't harbouring it for herself? How can someone willingly set their pain free without forgetting the source of it entirely?
And suddenly it clicks.
"You're absolutely right." A smile spreads across Regina's lips as she wipes away a falling tear. She opens her palm and shuts her eyes, envisioning the only thing that could help her now. Her mother's spell book.
In seconds a cloud of purple smoke swirls over her hand and the spell book appears from within, as if from nowhere, falling lightly into her grasp as the smoke fades away.
Both Mary-Margret and Zelena look at Regina with confusion in their eyes.
"Is that a spell book?" Zelena asks.
"Yes."
"Why?"
Regina doesn't reply. Instead, she pushes herself off the armchair and thoroughly straightens out her turquoise, silk pyjamas before flipping through the pages of her mother's spell book. Regina carefully reads through each page for the right spell as she paces back and forth, damping her forefinger with the lick of her tongue every so often.
She has a plan. And this time, it involves no vengeance, no anger, just a matter of letting go.
"Regina…what are you doing?" Mary-Margret asks, slowly setting her glass down.
Regina looks down at the woman with a wide grin, full of hope and self-assurance. "I'm letting go."
Mary-Margret and Zelena's interrogation had eventually come to an end, and the room grew quieter as time went by. Regina had been buried in her spell book since she's opened it, losing all sense of her surroundings as she explored the world of magic.
She's in search for a particular potion that would put an end to all the pain she feels at this very moment. It's been years since Regina's last used it, so she's sceptical about brewing it from memory. One wrong ingredient or even a missing one could change the effects of the potion entirely.
But she's been searching for what feels like an eternity and frustration grows with every flip of the page.
"This is all a bunch of useless crap," Regina grunts as she all but whips the spell book across her study. It slams hard against the mahogany bookshelf across the room and falls to the floor with a loud thump.
The deafening silence makes the single book she threw sound like a stampede of encyclopedias clashing against the bookshelf all at once.
She winces, hoping she hadn't woken Henry. But when she turns around, she notices Henry is not the only one she needs to worry about.
On the sofa across from her, Mary-Margret and Zelena had also fallen asleep. She giggles quietly when Zelena's head jerks up with a snort, only to fall back down to her shoulder. While Zelena repeats the same process, Regina's eyes shift toward the analogue clock on the circular table between the two slumbering women.
The time reads two thirty-five in the morning.
Regina had been so preoccupied with finding that damned spell that she hadn't even noticed the time go by.
She smiles to herself, amused at the sight of the two bobbing heads before her. Their faint snores whistle through the air; one after another like a discordant tune.
Waking them up seemed useless since the sun would creep up in a few hours. They'd probably have sore necks by then, but as of this moment, they looked quite peaceful, and Regina had no intentions of disrupting that.
She wonders if tranquillity would pervade her someday.
Shaking away the thought, Regina quietly tiptoes past Zelena and Mary-Margret. She stops once she reaches her desk and slowly pulls open the bottom drawer, careful not to make more noise than she already had.
With the study having such large windows, the temperature had a tendency to drop relatively quickly. In other words, blankets were an absolute must.
From the drawer, she pulls out two of them and takes slow, feather-light steps back to Zelena and Mary-Margret, gently placing a blanket over each of them.
"Mom?" a sleepy voice whispers from behind.
Regina jumps and whirls around to find her son rubbing his eyes with his fists in the doorway of her study.
"Henry? Is everything alright?" Her eyes widen, brows falling soft.
Henry squints at her. "I heard noises coming from your study. It sounded like—" He leans his head to the side, his brow reaching his hairline once he catches sight of Mary-Margret and Zelena dreaming away. "—What are Mary-Margret and Zelena doing here?"
"Oh, they came over after I left the hospital…I'm sorry I woke you."
Henry lets out a deep yawn. "It's fine. I was up thinking about you and mom anyway."
Regina walks toward him and rests her palms on the top of his shoulders. "Henry, you don't have to worry about me," she smiles. "I'm fine. And Emma is too. In fact, she woke up shortly after I brought you home."
"You healed her? She's okay?" Henry beams, suddenly looking opposite of the corpse he resembled earlier.
She nods happily.
"Can we go see her? Or call her?"
Regina chuckles lightly and brings her forefinger up to her lips, reminding him that their guests are sound asleep. She takes his hand and leads him to the moonlit living room where they both sit side-by-side on the sofa. "It's almost three in the morning…I'd expect she's asleep by now dear. We can call her in the morning. Perhaps go for breakfast at Granny's?"
"Can't you text her now? Ask her if she's awake? Please, I just want to hear that she's okay…" He begs, a sour look developing over his face.
Regina looks at him, her lips curling inward as they form a straight line. Calling Emma in the middle of the night unsettles her because had the tables been turned, Emma would certainly be getting an earful. But she can't resist the look in Henry's eyes when he so desperately wants something. She never really could. And it kills her to see Henry worry as much as he did over the last few days. She just wants some relief for her son.
Regina exhales, giving in.
One text couldn't hurt. She types in a quick message to the blonde.
Are you awake?
Regina stares down at her phone, bouncing her crossed legs while she and Henry wait for a reply that may never even come. But it isn't long until her phone reverberates against her clammy hands.
Yea. Why are you up?
Henry is worried about you. Can we call you? I understand if you're tired…
Call me.
Regina can't help but notice a smile spread from one cheek to the other. Strangely enough, she's almost as pleased as Henry is when they read the last text.
She taps the telephone icon on her screen and presses the cell phone against her ear. It barely hits the second ring before the line connects and Emma's silvery voice sounds from the other end. Her stomach clenches.
"Hey."
Regina stills for a moment and clears her throat. She tries to sound as casual as Emma but instead manages to stiff out an awkward, "Hello."
"So…Henry was worried about me huh?" Emma asks, and Regina can practically see the devious little grin smeared over the blonde's lips.
She rolls her eyes, already having predicted Emma would make such a remark. After their conversation in the hospital room, she presumes they'll be coming quite often.
"Yes, Henry. He's with me now," Regina says, looking over at her son who smiles at her with a toothy grin. "And I think he's about to erupt with excitement if I don't hand him the phone soon."
Emma laughs a warm, whole-hearted laugh that sends a pleasant tingle through Regina's chest. "Alright, alright, let me speak to him."
She hands the phone to Henry. He wraps his arms around Regina's waist, startling her for a moment before she returns the embrace. She kisses him lightly on the top of his head.
"Thank you," he whispers happily as he gently releases her.
She smiles at him, motioning her chin toward the phone to remind him that Emma was still on the line. Henry eagerly heads toward the foyer, plopping himself onto the staircase.
From the living room, Regina can hear his animated chatter and it puts her at ease knowing that Henry has one less thing to worry about. If the past week had been hard on anyone, it was Henry. With Robin's passing and Emma's harebrained actions, a moment of peace was hard to come by for her son.
He just wants their lives to be ordinary for once, but his belief that they could all be happy at the same time far outstretched the unvarnished truth.
The truth that happiness was hard to come by when one has a past like Regina's; one that's been gorged by isolation, destruction and a dark path toward retribution.
Though in his heart, he still believes the chaos would eventually subside. And with the clear-cut determination that lies within her little prince, Regina knows he would do just about anything to preserve his mothers' happy endings.
Which evidently worries Regina to no end.
But for now, she's satisfied knowing her son can finally shed some of that extra weight off his shoulders.
Things would be better soon. With a simple spell, they would have nothing to worry about whatsoever. And Regina hopes that this time, they could finally live like the family they were meant to be.
After about fifteen minutes of spirited conversation and frequent laughter sounding from the foyer, Henry returns to the living room and stretches his arm out until the phone reaches Regina's face.
"Here," he says with a smug grin.
Regina gives him a puzzled look. The screen still shines brightly, harsh on her eyes as it glares through the darkness of nightfall. She squints and notices the seconds timing the call are still ticking. Emma is still on the phone.
"She wants to talk to you."
"Me? Why?" Regina whispers.
Henry shrugs. "She just told me to give you the phone."
Regina's gaze shoots back and forth between her son and the bright screen Henry waves in her face. She's not sure she wants to have a one-on-one conversation with Emma just yet. After what came out of her mouth before leaving the hospital, only God knows what she'd spew out this time around. But it appears Regina doesn't have a say in the matter because Henry decides for her. He presses the phone up against her ear, and releases his grip, giving Regina no choice but to catch the damned thing from its fall.
She sends him a playful glare while he leans in to give her quick peck on the cheek before happily scurrying off to his bedroom. Regina crosses her legs and leans into the phone. "Emma?"
"Hi."
Silence settles between them like a cloud growing heavy with precipitation. Regina could hear the static crackle through the line as it shoots from one end to the other. And the cloud continues to build, feeding on the absence of words.
Until it rains.
"Emma I—"
"Regina I'm sorry."
Regina tilts her head, uncrossing her legs. "Wait, why are you apologizing?"
"Because you were right," Emma sighs. "I didn't respect your wish to be left alone. Instead, I was too busy worrying that—"
"That I was plotting some evil scheme to get Robin back." Regina finishes the sentence for her. The fact that Emma could believe such a thing worms its way into Regina. Her stomach hurls inward like someone had punched her in the gut.
"Cut me some slack Regina, what was I supposed to think? You locked yourself in your vault...you put up a protection spell."
Her heart sinks low from her chest, and hot lava fills the void, inching its way up to her neck. She clenches her jaw. "You know, of all the half-baked, empty-headed imbeciles in this town, I never thought you would be the one to make these assumptions. I thought, at the very least, that you would have my back."
"And I do! But—"
"Goodbye, Miss Swan."
Regina rips the phone away from her ear and holds it over her lap. Her thumb hovers over the 'end call' icon at the bottom of her screen but she can't bring herself to push it.
"Regina please," Emma's muffled voice echoes through the small speaker below.
"Regina?" she calls out once more. "Fine, you don't have to say anything. Just let me do the talking."
Regina's hand shakes its way back up, holding the phone to her ear. She stays silent while Emma's gentle voice comes through clearer than ever. "Look, I know I messed up in not trusting you. You didn't deserve that; especially after all the support you've sent my way when I was the Dark One. I should have been a better friend to you, and I'm sorry. I want to make up for that, for not being there when you needed me. I meant what I said in the hospital room. Every word."
For a moment the line goes quiet.
Regina shuts her eyes as she curls into the corner of the sofa, tucking her legs beneath her. She sucks in a deep breath and releases it before the living room comes into view again. "Your mother came by earlier. She said something quite interesting before falling asleep with Zelena in my study."
"Regina, what does my mom have to—Is this your way of forgiving me?"
"Do you want to hear what she told me or not?"
"Yea I do," Emma says quickly. "Wait…she fell asleep with Zelena?"
Regina runs her fingers through her hair, brushing back the loose strands from her face. "Yes, she's here too, but that's beside the point. As I was saying, she said that each of us holds our own destiny. Do you believe that?"
"I guess so, why?"
"I don't know," Regina shrugs, picking the lint off the hem of her pyjamas. "I suppose the idea sounded absurd to me at first."
"And now?"
Regina sighs. "Now I think she may be right."
The heat of Emma's cell phone warms her ear as Regina's velvety voice flows from the other end of the line. The moon's pale light spills through the crack of her curtains on the main floor where she's sprawled over the couch.
"You sound disappointed." Emma sits up, cupping the back of her neck with the palm of her hand.
"More like conflicted."
"Why?"
"I may have an idea that will kick-start the whole 'take-charge-of-your-destiny' ordeal," Regina murmurs.
Emma leans over and props her elbows over her knees. "Well that's a good thing isn't it?"
"It has a steep price."
Emma's curiosity peaks, but she knows better than to hound Regina with questions. The woman needed a delicate approach. Otherwise, Regina would put an end to the entire conversation. So she asks the most important, yet least invasive question. "Who's paying?"
"Me."
"Regina, you've already been through so much."
"Don't you think I know that?" Regina snaps. Relinquishment drowns each word in a way that makes Emma's throat burn. She hears Regina take a deep breath. "I won't exactly be aware of the price I'm paying."
More questions flood Emma's mind. Her brows knit together and she scrunches up her nose. It seems that while she tries to make sense out of what Regina is telling her, the situation only becomes more complicated.
"Am I being completely ridiculous?" Regina asks.
"Of course not, you're grieving. It's just a hard process to deal with."
Regina's sigh flows from the receiver. "I'm well aware of its complexities, trust me."
An uneven breath comes from Regina's end, followed by a quick sniff. Its attempt to be concealed almost makes it go unnoticed, but Emma hears it once more. Soon after, a quiet, stifled cry reaches her ears, and it rips her insides apart. All she can do is sit there and listen because there is nothing she could possibly say to make this better.
Emma knows this is more than just about Robin. Regina had been a subject to grief more than once, and it seems that every single loss has piled up and is now hitting her like a ton of bricks.
"I'm just tired of it." The words grate past her throat, sounding almost painful. "Of grieving, of hurting, I've had enough."
"And what you have planned...you think it will stop the hurt?"
"Yes," Regina croaks. "It may be silly and perhaps morally wrong, but I do believe it will help me move on."
"Then do it."
"What?"
"Do it," Emma repeats. She failed to trust Regina before, but she won't doubt her this time. If Regina says it will help her, then Emma wants nothing more than to be there for support. "Don't worry about being ridiculous. I should know. I went down to the Underworld because I was too stubborn to accept the fact that Hook was gone. There's no way your plan could be worse than what I did."
Regina's stifled sob flourishes into a light laugh. "A true Charming."
It warms Emma's heart knowing that there's a smile on Regina's face even when all the evidence says there shouldn't be. And the pleasant flame increases in size when Emma realizes that she's the one who put it there. "Yea well this 'Charming' endangered her entire family with that little stunt."
Regina's laughter stops. "Emma, they chose to go down there. No one was obliged to be there; everyone had the option to say no."
"So did you," Emma states with a pinch of curiosity.
"So did I," Regina confirms.
"And yet you came down anyway. Why? You and Hook don't exactly get along."
A scoff comes from Regina's end, and Emma imagines the infamous eye roll that must be accompanying it. "You think I came down there to save Hook? That's probably the most absurd thing I've heard all week. And that's saying a lot. If I'm honest, you'd be better off without that pathetic excuse of a pirate."
Emma's chest tightens but the words still penetrate through her ribcage like a dozen sharp knives.
"Regardless," Regina continues, filling in the momentary silence. "Hook is not the reason I agreed to go down there."
"Then what was?"
"You."
Emma falls against the back of her couch as her jaw drops to the floor. The knives in her chest vanish instantly.
She can't understand for the life of her how Regina does that. How she makes her words squirm their way into Emma's heart. How she loads each one with intense magnitude. How they're strong enough to pick Emma up, yet heavy enough to weigh her down.
Regina awkwardly clears her throat. "Well, I should go, it's getting pretty late. I'm sure you'd like to get some sleep."
Emma doubts that she'll get any sleep after this conversation. She could barely get any after the one they had in the hospital room. Before Regina texted, Emma had been replaying the whole thing in her head over and over, making sure it was all real.
Now there are even more thoughts loading her brain and it's unlikely they'll disappear anytime soon.
"Right," Emma pretends to agree.
"Before I go," Regina adds. "Henry and I were planning on having breakfast at Granny's. I was wondering if you'd like to join? I would suggest dinner, but frankly, I don't think Henry wants to wait until then. He's very excited to see you."
Emma's heart jumps, a wave of excitement ripples through her. "I'd love to."
"Great," Regina says eagerly. "I'll be over for ten o'clock. Don't keep me waiting."
"I wouldn't dream of it." Emma's lips curl into a wide grin, and she's unable to make it stop.
"Oh and Emma?"
"Yea?"
"I'm sorry. Shutting you out last week...it was wrong of me. I know you were trying to help and I—"
"Hey, it's okay," Emma interrupts. "This isn't exactly the simplest of situations."
"It never is," Regina says with defeat. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow I suppose. Goodnight, Emma."
Emma wishes her a good night, and the line goes dead. The dull, never-ending tone blares in her ear for a few moments before she ends the call.
She thrusts herself over the couch, letting out a huff of exhaustion once her back hits the plush cushion.
The gears in her mind keep spinning relentlessly.
What the hell was Regina planning? What price was she going to pay? Why did she feel all warm and tingly when Regina admitted her trip to the Underworld was for Emma?
A creak in the floorboards distracts Emma, her questioning thoughts slipping away. She jerks up from the couch and looks around behind her, trying to find the source of the sound.
"Swan?" Hook's figure appears from the dark shadows of her living area. "Have you been on that ghastly thing all night?"
"Yea, I couldn't sleep. I didn't want to wake you."
Hook steps closer until his facial expression comes into full view. "I heard you speaking to someone."
Guilt lodges itself at the back of her throat. "I was on the phone with Henry."
"Henry? What's the lad doing up so late?" Hook says skeptically.
Emma gets up from the couch and walks over to him. She takes his hand as he looks at her with suspicion in his eyes. "He was worried about me."
Although it was the truth, Hook doesn't seem to believe a word. Sure she may have left out the part where a heavy conversation took place between her and Regina, but what's the big deal?
It's just Regina.
"Let's go to bed," Emma suggests. "I'm getting kind of tired."
After ending the call with Emma, Regina rushes back to her study. She wants to complete this spell before she loses the audacity to cast it. Regina had grown somewhat doubtful about going through with her plan after spending an hour looking for the potion. But having Emma on board with it all, made it less worrisome.
When Regina stammers back into her study, she finds Zelena sitting cross-legged on the leather armchair, reading a page in their mother's spell book.
Zelena looks up at her, bringing the book up to her chest, pages facing Regina. "What's this?"
Regina squints her eyes as she moves forward to get a better look. "You found it!"
"I found it on the floor, open on this particular page," she states with the quirk of her brow. "Why are your eyes all red? Were you crying?"
"No," Regina nearly barks as she snatches the book from her sister's hands. She begins to read off the page. Her heart beats rapidly with anticipation.
"Regina, what do you plan to do with a forgetting potion?"
She looks at Zelena and rolls her eyes. "I'm planning a trip to Paris."
"Don't be cheeky with me, sis, especially not at this hour."
Regina huffs out a deep breath. She closes the spell book over her index finger, ensuring she doesn't lose the page, and plops down in the leather chair facing Zelena. "I'm sorry, it's been a long night."
"It certainly has," she looks over at Mary-Margret who is still deep in the world of dreams. "Should we wake her?"
"No. Leave her be. This is the first night she's been able to sleep without worrying about Emma. I don't want to—"
A green puff of smoke covers Mary-Margret entirely and vanishes with her.
"Zelena! I just told you—"
"Oh relax will you?" Zelena says nonchalantly with the wave of her hand. "I transported her home, in the comfort of her own bed."
"Which is precisely what I wanted to avoid," Regina snaps. "Doing so may have woken her up."
Zelena clicks her tongue. "Oh boo hoo. We would have woken her anyway with all this magic talk."
"What magic talk?"
"You know, the part where you tell me why you're planning to brew a forgetting potion."
Regina opens the spellbook and studies the ingredients needed for the potion. "I'm not telling you a damn thing."
Zelena's shoulders drop with disappointment, pursing her lips with a frown. "You can't just leave a sister hanging. At least give me a hint."
Only Regina's eyes move, travelling up from the page and landing on Zelena with a hard glare.
"Fine. Shall I guess?"
"No."
"Who will you be using it on?" Zelena asks excitedly. She thinks to herself for a moment before a wicked grin comes to life. "Hook?"
Regina doesn't respond.
"Emma?"
Annoyance crawls through Regina's every limb. She continues reading.
"Henry?"
"Me!" Regina yells out. She pinches the bridge of her nose and breathes out. "I'm using it on myself. Okay? Are you satisfied?"
"Quite the contrary," Zelena says. "You've just awakened more questions."
"Of course I have," Regina mutters under her breath. "Because minding your own business is obviously out of the question."
Zelena stands up from her armchair and sits on the coffee table in front of Regina. The wicked smile is replaced with something else. A softer expression takes over, indicating she understood exactly what Regina was doing. "You want to forget Robin don't you?"
Regina's hands clasp together over the spellbook. She looks at her sister in defeat. "I've already made my decision. Don't try and talk me out of it."
"I think you're confusing me with the Charmings, dear."
Regina chuckles softly as her gaze drifts down to her tangled fingers.
"Well let's get on with it, shall we?" Zelena taps Regina on her knee as she gets up off the table. "What do we need?"
When Zelena agreed to assist in brewing the potion, they transported themselves to Regina's vault and searched for the required ingredients. After successfully retrieving each one, they quickly evaporated back into the study.
Brewing the potion was a lengthy process, and Regina wanted it to be in the comfort of her own home, especially at this late hour.
They worked quietly but efficiently, exchanging more ingredients than actual words. A system had been unconsciously created almost as soon as they began. It felt like they'd been creating magic together all their lives and Regina enjoyed every moment of it. With her and Zelena having being kept from each other for so long, she felt as though they were making up for lost time, bonding like real sisters were meant to.
They brew the potion to perfection. Regina doesn't even think her mother, could have done a better job.
Zelena pours the final ingredient into a small, metal goblet, engraved with a variety of lines and patterns. She pulls it closer to her chest when Regina reaches for it.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Zelena asks with concern.
"Yes."
"Regina, this will not only erase Robin, but it'll also wipe away every moment you've ever shared with him. Happy ones, sad ones, intimate ones, they'll all be lost. Your love for him will cease to exist."
Regina crosses her arms over her chest. "I'm familiar with the consequences."
"But are you willing to pay the price?"
At this point, Regina can't decide if "the price" is either erasing her memories of Robin or keeping them. She holds out her hand. "Give me the potion Zelena."
Zelena nods and hands her the goblet. Regina stares unnervingly at the purple contents inside, suddenly doubtful that this was the right solution. She wants to move on, but was this the right way? Of course not. It's the easy way out. But Regina has been aboard the hell train for far too long, and tonight she's changing route. She's taking charge of her destiny.
She downs the potion in one, swift motion. It glides smoothly down her throat as she sets the goblet over the table. From the moment she lets go, the cup disappears along with every other instrument and ingredient used to make the potion. The study is exactly as it was when she had first entered it.
A slight pressure tickles the surface of her brain, and there's a hum buzzing in her ears.
It's working.
She closes her eyes as the potion massages her brain. Everything starts to feel lighter one bit at a time. Her mind becomes less cluttered, her chest can finally rise with ease and the knots in her stomach straighten out at last.
And then everything stops.
She opens her eyes.
"So? How do you feel?" Zelena asks.
"Hm?"
"Did it work?"
Regina stares at her sister with a raised brow.
Zelena brings her palm up to her forehead. "Right, silly me. You're not supposed to remember anything."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Regina snaps, quickly losing patience.
"Let me start again," Zelena says. "Do you know who Robin Hood is?"
Regina frowns. "Is this supposed to be some kind of joke Zelena? Because now is really not the time."
"So you remember him?"
Regina nods, biting her lips inward to prevent the fuming rage from lashing through. If she was trying to push Regina's buttons, it's definitely working.
Zelena steps back looking completely baffled. She shakes her head. "I don't understand. It was perfect, it must have worked. Who on earth could have—Daniel. Do you remember Daniel?"
Slow breaths and warning eyes are all Regina's abled to respond with.
"Your father?"
Anger storms through every inch of Regina's body. She clenches her jaw so tight, she's surprised her teeth don't rip through her gums. "Are you finished?"
Zelena rubs the tip of her chin. "Where's Henry?"
"Upstairs," Regina seethes.
"This doesn't make any sense. It must have erased something," Zelena mumbles to herself.
Regina heads over to the table and gathers the empty glasses, placing each rim between her fingers. "The only thing here that isn't making any sense is you. Now quit being crazy and help me clean up. The blankets go in the bottom drawer of my desk," Regina turns to Zelena before making her way out of the study and into her kitchen. "Fold them properly."
"Yes, of course, your Majesty," Zelena mocks, rolling her eyes.
In the kitchen, Regina settles the three glasses into the sink. She turns around and leans over the island facing the sink, blowing out a long, deep breath.
For the first time in days, she doesn't feel overwhelmed with emotions. Nothing races through her mind like previous nights.
Everything is still.
She's not at peace just yet, but this moment of tranquillity is a step in the right direction.
It's a step forward.
