Help Wanted
He arrived in Tomoe's cramped houseboat, the sight of his drunk cousin Sanosuke worsening the curl of distaste that was plastered to his mouth. In a moment of dumb drunkenness, his cousin shot up, waved at him, and hurled an open beer bottle in his direction.
Enishi side-stepped and the beer crashed on the wall, shattering and splaying down the carpet.
"Aw shit," Sano mewled, "Why couldn't you act cool for once and catch it like we're in some movie-"
"What movie, The Room?" Enishi said as he flung himself on the couch, loosening his necktie.
Sanosuke stood from his chair and moaned, "Gosh my cousin sucks." He strode to the fridge and popped another beer open. This time he personally handed it to him. "So? What took you so long?"
"I dropped off some important documents," Enishi answered, taking a quick swig. "What is this important 'thing' you needed to show me?"
Sanosuke only flashed him a cryptic, sly grin, and immediately Enishi frowned. He very well knew that smile, and he knew, that behind it, was nothing good at all.
"Sanosuke." Enishi warned, from which his cousin turned to the closed door of the bedroom and yelled:
"Hey guys!"
The bedroom door creaked open. A thick, fog-like smoke hissed out… like an evil spirit creeping out.
There was the unmistakable smell of burning grass.
Three people stumbled clumsily out of the room: the perfect sister Tomoe, the stupid, broke Himura guy, and Sanosuke's pharmacist girlfriend Megumi.
"Hey... it's my baby brother...Nii-sshii…" Tomoe slurred, and she dramatically collapsed into Enishi's arms in a giggling fit.
Enishi's eyes widened in horror. "Tomoe, what the hell—" he halted, as his dear sister had shoved a hand over his mouth, effectively blocking him from any speech.
"We know what you're gonna say… but Eniii- shii, wasn't it you who said to live our best life while we were still young?"
"Hey," Megumi seductively slithered towards the man and snatched the beer out of his hands. "C'mon, Enishi, don't be such a party pooper," she might have intended to drink the beer, but no one will ever really know because she poured it on her face.
Enishi tore his eyes from the circus and pushed his sister's hand away. "What the hell are you nitwits thinking, experimenting with weed!" He glared pointedly at Himura, giggling like a fool in the corner. "You. This is your influence, isn't it?!"
"Nii-shii," Tomoe made a hugging gesture but Enishi quickly deflected, "I confiscated this from a student yesterday, s-so Kenshin had nothing to do with this! B-but he accidentally burned the whole bundle," she giggled like a little girl, "Thinking this was sage—"
The white-haired man could only gape.
"Stop worrying for once. You're always so uptight!" Kenshin approached, "Besides, It's perfectly legal here!" He tried to shove some burning weed into his future brother-in-law's frowning mouth, but the young lawyer pushed past them and headed to the counter, away from the plastered morons.
"So what if it's legal? Father will have a FIT-"
"Ugh! Father this, father that-" Tomoe rolled her eyes,
"Hey, the old man's not gonna make you pee in a cup for a drug screen when you get home," Sano said, slinging his arm over his cousin. He blew a joint onto Enishi's face, and the lather ended up hacking his lungs out, smothered.
"Hey, everyone has a right…" Megumi slurred, looking confused, "A right… to their choice…" She shook her head, probably in attempts to clear her clouded brain, "And that includes... Enishi …" she nodded, reaching out at the fair-haired man with puckered lips.
Sanosuke quickly yanked his girlfriend in his arms, rerouting the woman onto his lap instead of Enishi's.
They started making out.
Enishi groaned in disbelief, and he turned away, facepalming.
"Listen, if you called me here just to babysit you clowns, I'm checking out." He rolled his sleeves up and turned the faucet on to wash his hands. He did so religiously, being the clean freak he was, "I'm supposed to be the youngest here," he muttered as he closed the faucet. Then he frowned.
"Hey idiots, your sink is clogged." Enishi flipped the dispenser switch on.
It was a decision that changed their fate: something started clanking. Then a thump, and a BANG!
Small, sharp projectiles started flying everywhere. Everyone in the room dove to the hardwood floor, covering their heads with their hands as if they were in the middle of a warzone.
"Turn it off!" Sano yelled, to no one in particular, in hopes of a brave soul who was willing to sacrifice for the group's survival. It was Enishi who faced up to such a life-threatening ordeal as he reached out and turned off the switch.
"Who the hell put glass shards in the dispenser?!" He boomed, and the remaining people cowered like little lambs in front of the only sober person. There was a considerable silence, until it was followed by a soft squeak,
Then Tomoe raised her hand meekly, "I might have shoved the baster down the drain…"
"You WHAT?!" Sano exclaimed.
"I… I was as high as a kite! I didn't know what I was doing…" Tomoe tried to reason, cringing as she tried to face Enishi. Her brother's glare was enough to send her high flying out the window. "I'm… I'm sorry-"
"How…" Enishi grit, "Did you idiots… manage to survive a year by yourselves…" He finally sighed, and he shook his head in resignation. Enishi glared and flung himself on the couch, throwing his head back and gave out a strangled cry of frustration. "Call your maintenance. You retards have to take care of this before you end up sending someone to the hospital!"
"I hate to tell you this, but this is not the luxury high-rise you're so used to living in, where we could contact maintenance 24/7," Kenshin answered, now calmer. "I'll call for plumbing tomorrow-"
"I couldn't leave you dunderheads as is!" Enishi shook his head, sank deeper to the couch, and heaved an even louder sigh. He took his smartphone from his pocket and opened his browser. "Do you know plumbing service that's open at this hour?!"
Tomoe did not answer.
She watched her younger brother's creased forehead, the furrowed eyebrows, the downturn curve of his lips as he scrolled through his phone, squinting in anger and annoyance. Then Tomoe, despite Enishi's black-cloud aura, smiled.
"Enishi, you don't have to worry about us."
"Said the twenty-eight year old who shoved a baster down the drain." Was the lawyer's sarcastic reply. He continued tearing through the webpages like a highly annoyed madman.
Sano chuckled. "How sweet," he whispered to Tomoe, "Little brother to the res—"
"Shut up." Enishi shot.
"I know one," Megumi sheepishly offered, finally recovering from her brain fog, "I pass by their office whenever I have night shift duty… their door sign reads open 24/7. It's by the corner of Divisadero street… Aio-Ya Plumbing, I think,"
Enishi typed in the name and, indeed, out popped the website. He hit the call button with no hesitation, and after two rings, someone picked up.
"Aio-Ya Plumbing Services, this is Misao. How may I help you today?"
"We need a plumber." He glared at the group, then pulled his attention back to the agent. "Do you handle hazardous cases?"
"You mean like chemical waste?" Misao paused. "Sorry, sir, but you would have to call—"
"No, no. Nothing like that. I meant glass. There's broken glass in the dispenser, and fragments most probably down the drain, which will cause issues further down the road."
"Oh!" Misao exclaimed, "Yes, we can handle that. Most certainly! Tell me your address and we'll send one of our amazing plumbers right away."
Enishi gave the woman their address. The woman on the other line cheerily informed them about the 30-minute to 1-hour wait. And they ended the call, and Enishi sighed yet again, exhausted.
