Chapter 7 - Enjoy the Silence

After an awfully quiet dinner, Emma repositions to the living room and plops herself over the couch. She moves her head in a circular motion to release some of the built up tension in her neck.

Hook joins her and grabs the TV remote. "Are you alright love?"

Emma straightens up slightly. "I'm fine, just a sore neck."

"Let me try and massage it."

"Seriously, I'm fine," Emma says, resisting his attempt.

He looks down and nods, curling his lips inward.

Emma notices the heartbroken look on his face as he turns his attention onto the TV. A shot of guilt strikes her gut. She knows she's been distant with Hook lately, but she hasn't realized how much it's been hurting him. Emma turns to him and strokes his arm. "I'm sorry. I know I've been hard to deal with lately."

Hook nods, keeping his eyes on the TV screen.

"I've just been so focused on—"

"Regina," he says. "I know."

Emma exhales and backs away, letting her hand glide off Hook's arm.

"She's all you focus on it seems," he adds.

Emma furrows her brows. "I'll apologize for being distant but I won't be made guilty for caring about my family."

Hook snaps his head toward Emma. "And what am I to you, Swan? Because right now it feels as though I'm just here to hide the fact that—"

He stops.

"What?"

"Never mind." Hook shakes his head in disapproval.

"No please go on," Emma says. The frustration in her tone becomes harder to conceal. "I'd really love to hear the last part of that sentence."

He stares at her and exhales. "Trust me, Swan, neither of us want to hear the last part of my sentence."

Looking at him, it seems like he's lost all hope in her. In them. A part of her knew what he was going to say, and if she's honest with herself, a part of her also believes he's right. Sure, things have changed between them since Robin's passing, but it hadn't begun there. Things had been derailing long before that. Maybe even longer that Emma wants to admit. It feels like they've been on separate tracks for a while, growing apart with every passing day.

Emma sinks into the back of the couch. The silence between them grows. She glances over to Hook one more time but his expression remains blank as he keeps his attention on the show playing in front of them. At this point, the characters on TV seem like blurry shapes and their lines sound like nothing but a bunch of words jumbled together. Emma can't make sense of anything.

To her relief, the silence breaks by the sound of her ringtone. Emma jumps off the couch and make her way towards the kitchen to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Mom!," Henry says in a state of panic. "You need to get here as soon as possible."

Emma's pulse quickens. She presses the phone harder against her ear. "Henry, what's wrong?"

"It's mom, she's—"

"I'm on my way."

She bolts to the doorway and slips on her jacket. It kills her to leave Hook at a time like this but whether he'd understand it or not, she needed to make sure Regina was okay. They'd continue their argument when she got back.

Emma reluctantly walks back into the living room where Hook makes it a point to keep his eyes on the television screen. She sighs. "It was Henry, I need to go."

"What's wrong with the lad?" he asks.

He's—" she pauses and takes in a deep breath. "He's fine, it's Regina."

Hook scoffs. "Of course it is."

"Killian," Emma pleads.

"Just go."

Emma looks at him for a moment. It becomes clear in her mind that they'd never be the same together. Regina would always be a burden to their relationship—or more accurately to Hook. But Emma can't help the matter. She can't exactly cut Regina out of her life in order to save her relationship, nor does she really want to. She and Regina have gone through far too much and if she's honest, Emma can't remember not having Regina in her life.

The solution becomes obvious and though Emma may not like it entirely, it's something she needed to do. For their sake. For her sake. She takes a step toward him. "Killian."

"Swan please, just go."

"Please look at me."

Hook finally turns away from the TV and shifts his gaze over to Emma.

This is harder than she thought but it needs to be done. She breathes in slowly. "I think we need a break."

Hook's face falls. The anguish in his expression is prominent but Emma also notices the awareness of where they're headed in the way he looks at her. He nods. "Perhaps it's best. I'll have my things gathered by the morning."

"No, I'll go," she sighs. "I don't want you to go through the trouble of finding a place to stay. I'll just pack a bag stay with my parents or something for a while. I think it'll do us some good."

"Maybe you're right," he says as he gets up from the couch. He walks toward Emma and takes her hand.

Emma shakes her head, her lips beginning to tremble. "I'm sorry it has to be this way."

Hook's eyes gloss over with tears. "Me too."

A tear slips down Emma's cheek as she breathes in the night air. After she packed a bag, she and Hook exchanged goodbyes and Emma walked out the door. She tried to be strong about it in front of him but there's no point in trying to hide her feelings now. She lets her tears fall as she gets into her bug and allows herself a couple minutes before heading to Regina's.

Regina. Oddly enough the thought of her felt more liberating than ever. Though there was sadness in her heart, Emma couldn't ignore the relief that accompanied it.

When Emma arrives to Regina's, she puts the car into park right out front. She takes a moment to clear her head. She opens the door, hoping the cool air could mask any signs of washed up tears and reduce the swelling in her eyes.

After a couple minutes, she quickly wipes her eyes and and walks up to the door. Emma barely even rings before Henry swings the door open.

"Mom!" He gives her a quick hug.

"Where is she?" Emma asks anxiously as she slips out of her jacket and hangs it by the door.

"She's on the couch now. She had some sort of blackout and fell to the ground just before I messaged you. After a couple minutes she woke up and seemed pretty groggy."

"Okay, I'll stay with her and see how she's doing. Go upstairs to your room for now, I don't want her feeling overwhelmed."

Henry nods.

Emma freezes when she spots Regina. Nerves take over and she suddenly doubts if she should even be here. She's probably the last person Regina wants to see but she sucks it up. She'd take whatever Regina throws at her. Someone being here to help is better than no one, so regardless of their situation or Regina's pride, Emma was going to do whatever it takes.

Emma kneels down by Regina's side. She admires her peaceful state as she lies with her eyes closed, but even in the living room's warm lighting, Regina's complexion is paler than usual and her lips lack the lively pink shade they normally wear. She moves slightly beneath layers of thin blankets and breathes quietly. A stray hair falls over her face as Regina turns on her side. Emma delicately brushes it back behind Regina's ear and strokes her forehead with the back of her hand, letting her fingers glide down her cheek.

Regina's eyes flutter open. "Emma."

Emma smiles. "Henry told me what happened. How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," Regina says as she leans her head back on the pillow.

Emma knows Regina's "fine" is so loosely used in her vocabulary that it may as well mean nothing at all. She drags an ottoman closer to the couch Regina lies on and sits down. "Regina come on. You fainted. We should get you to the doctor."

"I know what this is, I don't need a doctor," she snaps. "I thought I asked you for some space, Miss Swan. And yet, here you are."

"What is it then?" Emma asks, ignoring Regina's last comment.

Regina shuts her eyes and furrows her brows. She pinches the bridge of her nose. "As I said, I'm fine."

"Will you stop being so damn stubborn and let me help you?" Emma says sharply.

She knows Regina has too much pride to accept help from anyone, let alone the one who is her supposed true love, but right now Emma has had enough. She never liked to push but she couldn't go home knowing that Regina isn't well and whether she wants the help or not, Emma is staying.

Without waiting for the brunette's reply, Emma storms into the kitchen. She doesn't exactly know what Regina has or doesn't have, but she couldn't go wrong with making a cup of tea. Emma knows Regina is more of a coffee kind of woman but in her state, she'd have to settle.

"Where do you keep your tea?" Emma asks, loud enough for Regina to hear from the living room.

"I don't need it."

Emma exhales in frustration. "I'll just raid your kitchen until I find it."

Thankfully it doesn't take Emma long to locate the tea. It just so happened to be in the very first place she had looked. She puts water to boil and opens a few kitchen cabinets in order to find the cups. Not so much to Emma's surprise, every single plate, bowl, glass and mug was placed with extreme symmetrical precision. Each cabinet was colour coordinated and categorized. Simply speaking, every single thing had its place and Emma knows better than to mess with the obsessive-like order in Regina's home. Regina would have a field day reorganizing Emma's kitchen if she took a peak inside her cabinets. Well…not so much her cabinets anymore. She's going to have to get used to the idea of living with her parents now that she and Hook are on a break.

Once the water starts to boil, Emma drops a tea bag into the mug and pours the water in. She blows into the mug as the steam swirls upwards and makes her way back to Regina.

Emma grabs a coaster and sets the mug down onto the table beside the couch. "Don't drink it yet, you'll burn your tongue."

"Uh…thank you," Regina says with reluctance, in such a way that gives Emma the impression she isn't used to being taken care of. She steadily pushes herself up and brings her knees up to her chest.

"You're welcome." Emma smiles down at her. "I'm on your side Regina, I always have been. I know you don't remember, but I told you once that I'd keep you safe, no matter what it takes. I still stand by that promise."

Regina's eyes lock onto Emma's. Her face reads complete disbelief yet eternal gratitude all at once. A microscopic smile forms at the corners of her lips. "It's funny."

"What is?" Emma asks.

A saddened look washes over Regina's face. Her gaze shifts to the left of the room as though trying to recall a lost memory. She scoffs, seemingly frustrated. "I know nothing about you. I don't even know who you are."

Emma's heart sinks. She becomes heavily aware of the weight those words bestow upon her.

"Yet," Regina says. Her eyes land on Emma's. "You don't feel at all like a stranger."

Regina holds the curve in her lips, allowing it to slowly form into a smile. Truth is, she'd been fighting herself whenever Emma was around, trying to rebuild a front that come's crashing down the moment the blonde enters the room. And though the thought of allowing someone back in after enduring such a difficult loss scares her to no end, Regina has no desire to put herself to work. There was simply no more energy to be directed toward keeping her emotions at bay. Perhaps it would be easier for the both of them if Regina just let herself be vulnerable. Or perhaps it would once again lead to unimaginable pain. She's hesitant, but there's an undying desire to trust this woman.

She motions for Emma to sit beside her. "So how close were we really? I mean, for you to be so committed to my well-being, I'd assume—"

"We had a pretty complicated relationship," Emma laughs. "Took a while before we could stand to be in the same room as each other."

"Were you also a pain in the ass when we first met?" Regina teases.

Emma smirks. "Very funny."

"How did we first meet?" Regina asks, moving in closer.

"Henry, believe it or not. I lived in Boston at the time and on the night of my birthday, the doorbell rang and there he was."

Regina remembers Henry going to Boston but she doesn't remember him coming home with a blonde.

"He told me he was my son and walked straight in," Emma continued. "Then he begged me to take him back to Storybrooke and explained that every person there was actually a fairytale character who had been cursed by the Evil Queen. He said I was the saviour and the town needed my help."

"And you believed him?" Regina laughed. Although the entire story was true and Henry had quickly caught on to the entire thing, any adult may have found it hard, if not impossible, to believe.

"Of course I didn't! I thought he was just overly imaginative."

"So what made you bring him back?"

"He threatened to call the cops on me and accuse me of kidnapping," Emma says, shaking her head in amusement.

Though Regina doesn't want to applaud her son's sly ways, she's quite impressed. "And they'd believe him because you're his birth mother."

Emma nods. "So he gave me no choice. I drove him home and that's when I met you."

"Clever boy," Regina says with a smile.

"Not so surprising considering he grew up with you."

Regina rolls her eyes, failing miserably at hiding the amusement on her face. Shutting Emma out was proving to be more difficult as time went by. Based on the genuine smile that insists on invading her face, it seems that she's actually beginning to enjoy the woman's company. She carefully grabs the cup of tea Emma had prepared for her. "I'd offer you a drink but the woman taking care of me is rather strict. I'm afraid I've been confined to this couch."

"I take it you'll finally let me take care you?" Emma smirks. "It's about time, only took about five years."

Regina rolls her eyes. "Don't get used to it."


The night had slipped away into early morning when Regina woke up. To her surprise, she was no longer on her couch, but in the comfort of her own bed, tucked neatly beneath her covers. She hadn't had the slightest memory of walking up the stairs, nor changing into a new set of pyjamas for that matter. But none of that really phased her more than the fact that she actually had a proper nights sleep. For the first time in almost 3 weeks, this is the first time Regina actually feels well rested. She wonders what made last night different than the ones before it.

"Henry keep it down, Regina is still asleep."

Emma.

It's surprisingly refreshing for Regina to hear her voice first thing in the morning. Though it had been sterner than usual, Regina couldn't help but want to hear more. She slips out from underneath the covers and quietly opens her bedroom door, careful not to be heard by either of them.

"What do you feel like for breakfast, kid?" Emma asks.

"Pancakes."

"Oh come on."

"What?"

Regina smiles. She takes delicate steps down the stairs and with her back to the wall, peeks into the kitchen with growing curiosity as to how Emma will handle the situation.

"I was thinking something more along the lines of scrambled eggs, kid."

"But mom always makes her apple cinnamon pancakes on Fridays."

Emma rolls her eyes with a growing smile. "Alright where do we start?"

She grabs a medium sized bowl from the kitchen cabinets and sets it down on the counter.

"Certainly not with that," Regina says, emerging into sight.

"Mom!" Henry shouts with genuine relief as he runs and embraces her in a tight hug.

Regina's body stills as though the slightest movement may put an end to this moment. She never really did get tired of Henry's warm hugs, so on times that they do occur, she made sure to soak in every last second. At his release, because Regina would never be the one to let him go first, she glances over to Emma, who already gazes at her with a light smile. Nothing about this particular morning felt unfamiliar yet everything about it seemed so different. Except this difference was good, it was refreshing, and she's never felt anything like it.

"What's wrong with the way I'm making pancakes?" Emma asks, jokingly insulted.

"Well for starters, unless you're only planning on feeding Henry, I'd suggest you take out a larger mixing bowl."

"Alright, Madame Mayor, since you know best, how about you do it?" Emma says, trying to conceal a smile. She replaces the mixing bowl with a larger one and playfully slides it across the kitchen island.

Regina's beginning to see Emma's playful banter and decides to play along. If she was going to tolerate this woman, she may as well make it fun. If Emma wants a challenge, she's going to get it. Regina puts her hands over her hips and takes carefully calculated steps toward the kitchen island. She looks down at the bowl, then back up at Emma. "Where's the fun in that?"

Emma raises her brow, seemingly amused, yet completely surprised with Regina's reply. "I take it you're feeling better?"

"Much," Regina nods in gratitude.

Regina hadn't expected Emma to be so fluent in the kitchen. At first glance, she didn't look like the type of person who spent much of her time cooking, but she moved with ease, following Regina's recipe to the last letter. It may not have been the most challenging thing to whip up but there was something in the way Emma manoeuvred herself that left Regina feeling intrigued.

After practically inhaling his food, Henry runs up the stairs to get ready for school, leaving Emma and Regina in charge of clean up.

"So? How did I do?" Emma asks.

Regina smirks. She hands her a plate that needs to be dried. "You surprise me."

Emma smiles, her face falling soft. Regina can't help but mirror her expression. Looking at Emma, she feels lighter, almost like everything weighing down on her suddenly lifts for a brief moment. Emma doesn't avert her gaze and Regina begins to wonder if maybe she isn't the only one who feels this way. They remain silent, both seemingly consumed by what she can only describe as some sort of trance. Emma gravitates closer, only slightly but enough to make Regina notice the distance diminishing between them.

"Bye moms!" Henry shouts as he rushes out the door.

Regina and Emma jump. They immediately spring apart, catapulted out of this momentary world of bliss they've managed to create together.

Emma clears her throat. "Have a good day, kid!"

"And be careful!" Regina adds, trying to stabilize her voice as much as possible.

The door shuts behind him.

"I…uhh—"

"I think you should go," Regina blurts out.

Emma stills. "What? Regina, I—"

"I'm grateful for all that you've done but I'm sure you have other pressing matters."

Regina turns away, rewashing the already clean dishes in the sink. She couldn't bare to look at Emma, not now.

"But—"

"Emma…please."

Emma exhales softy. "Okay."

The sound of Emma's footsteps fade as she makes her way closer to the door, but Regina doesn't turn around. She can't.

"Regina?" Emma stops. "Promise me one thing."

"What?" Regina manages to force out. The word alone so heavy, it feels like she's speaking underwater.

"Promise that you'll call me if you need anything. You still have my number, I want you to use it."

Regina swallows hard. "Goodbye, Emma."

"I'll see you soon," Emma says with confidence. She gently closes the door.

Regina closes her eyes, tears welling behind her lids. She clutches the counter and leans forward. The harder she tries to breath past the pressure in her chest, the more it feels like she's breathing out rather than breathing in. A single tear flows free and rolls down her cheek. Regina quickly wipes it away. That's all she'd allow herself. One tear. Her heart is in no condition to handle more than that.