"And then coach made me run seven extra laps because of Doug and he didn't have to do shit!" Jesus fuck, I would've guessed this story had no end, the way Clyde's able to drag out every detail. Leaving out nothing, even the irrelevant parts. Sometimes he's as bad as Marsh, how they talk about sports, oblivious to the fact that nobody cares or can even follow half the shit they're saying.
I glance at Tweek again because fuck it. He's eating with Butters which is odd. I want to know why. Tweek doesn't hang out with anyone and he doesn't eat in the cafeteria. Butters, of all people. Butters keeps a smile, laughing occasionally. He seems to be the main one talking. Tweek's deadpanned the entire time. He speaks shortly and rarely but he doesn't look annoyed or anything. What're they fucking talking about?
"Hello?" Clyde waves his hand in front of my face. "What are you looking at?"
"Nothing, I zoned out." It was good. My lie. I've been getting better. It's automatic so there's less suspicion.
But Clyde says, "Craig, you know, you act strange sometimes."
"Strange," I echo. How is any part of what I just said strange? It was more convincing than some other times.
"You're always zoning out, you're getting more and more distant, you're smoking more even though you were serious about quitting this time," Clyde counts off. "Always gone, keeping secrets, lying…"
Now, Kenny's giving me a look. He's analyzing. I suck my teeth. "You're just paranoid."
"I don't think so," he says. "Because I've been thinking this for a while now and I'm sure the guys agree with me. At first I just thought I was being paranoid but now, I wonder what kind of friend I'd be if I didn't say anything."
"It's our senior year. I'm stressed," I dismiss him. "Don't make this something."
"I mean, it's clearly already a thing if it's bothering you enough for us to notice. And stress from school? I'm not buying it," Kenny says. "Do you have anything to do in any of your classes? This is the easiest year. Especially for you, since you're not dealing with that college crap."
"It's about that girl," Toke says. I shoot him a dirty look. "Maybe she's no good, man. Also, if she's making you keep it a secret or you feel like you have to, then that's no good either, right? I mean, is that what you're stressed about?" I groan, running my hand down my face. "You should talk to somebody!" He insists. "Like, at least one of us. Or somebody else, if you won't talk to us."
"We're just worried about you, Craig."
I glance at Tweek but he's gone this time. I catch of glimpse of him leaving the cafeteria and I'm surprised he was able to do so without me noticing.
"You shouldn't be. You guys are overreacting." I tell them, standing.
"Where are you going?" Token asks. "I'm sorry, we'll stop asking questions."
I chuckle, "Chill, man, I'm just throwing my tray away."
And with that I walk over to the trash can by the door, toss my tray, and leave.
I trail after Tweek until I've caught up to him. "What're you doing?"
"Jesus Christ," he says but doesn't seem all that startled. "You're stalking me now?"
"We go to the same school," I point out. "And were friends," I add a little more boldly.
Tweek laughs. "We're not friends."
"What do you call it then?" I'd genuinely like to know.
"You don't know anything about me. We're not friends. Acquaintances, at best." A good point.
"What about..."
"Benefits," he shrugs. "But it's not like it's romantic or anything."
"Okay." This is the first time I've ever heard what Tweek feels about what we're doing.
"What do you want? Why are you even talking to me?"
"Why don't we talk to each other at school?"
"Because we aren't friends" he repeats.
"Why were you talking to Butters."
Tweek suddenly stops walking. "Did you hear me, Craig? Not romantic. As in we don't talk to each other at school and you don't worry about who I'm talking to at school and you don't come to my house to give me back my jacket as if it's an excuse to see me."
I scoff, "Someone thinks very highly of themselves."
"Please! You're so readable."
"I'm readable. Bull fucking shit." I'm not readable.
"You are readable. Always have been," he says. "You were back then and you are right now. You're gonna piss me off."
"I piss you off anyways."
"You're right about that."
"Look, I don't know what you're talking about. You're right I don't really know anything about you but I always thought we were at least friends. We see each other every day."
He sighs and rolls his eyes. "So, what do you want?"
My heart beats louder. Fuck. I don't know. "My friends were pissing me off and I saw you leaving so I left."
"That doesn't make sense, Craig."
"Where are you going?"
"Fuck. I'm going to sit in my next class."
"Who is it?"
"Lau."
"I'm coming with."
"Why?"
"I thought you didn't have friends."
"What?"
"Butters," I glance at him. "You ate lunch together."
Tweek laughs. "Could you be less obvious? It's okay, we're not screwing, Craig." I blush. Not like that helps because neither are we. "He's tutoring me."
I'm quiet. I feel kind of dumb but I never really thought they were doing anything I just wanted to know the connection. "In what?"
Tweek rolls his eyes. "You're annoying today. Is something wrong? You can just say it then. We don't have to do this."
"I just want to spend lunch together. It's not like you're doing anything anyways. Sometimes Clyde and Kenny are too much."
"Don't just follow me whenever you want. It's weird. Especially since we're not friends."
"But I can today?"
Tweek snorts. "I didn't say that either but you're gonna do it anyways, right? So, it doesn't matter what I think."
It does, I want to say but for some reason I don't entirely buy what you say. You're gonna do it anyways right? As if he doesn't want me here. "Sure," I tell him. In all honesty, I'd leave if he told me to but I won't say this because then Tweek would tell me to leave just to be spiteful. I have a feeling he doesn't really mind my presence.
"How's your day been?"
"Don't small talk me."
"Maybe I really wanna know, dick face."
He shrugs. "It's school. It's the same every day."
"I've never met a bigger pessimist than me but shit."
"I just really don't like school," he says. We finally get to Mr. Lau's room. He greets us. Tweek just waves. Tweek sits and I sit in the desk in front of him turned around.
"What do you like then? Because you don't seem to like school or people or me. The only thing I think you might like is boxing."
Tweek's quiet. He pulls out a worksheet and starts it. "You want me to just list shit off that I like?" I shrug. "Yeah, boxing's good. I don't know," he says, looking out the window. "I like driving. Not like driving but riding in a car, I guess."
"But you never let me give you rides."
"A ride home isn't driving," he explains. He talks to me like I'm stupid.
"Hey boys, I'm gonna head down to the lounge real quick. Can you watch the room? Tell anyone that I'll be back in a few minutes."
I tell him yeah and Tweek just nods.
"There has been something on my mind actually."
Tweek stops writing. "Is it about that time we made out in the ring and you left?"
"Fuck you and kinda."
"Good 'cause that was really weird."
"The part where we made out in the middle of the gym or the part where I left abruptly?"
"You're right," he says. "Go on."
I blush uncontrollably and it's unbearable how small he makes me feel. So I fight my own humility and blurt out in some attempt to look cool or unbothered. "I want to have sex."
Tweek bust out laughing. "Congratulations on this revelation, Craig."
"With you, fucker!" I snap thoroughly embarrassed.
Tweek's face crinkles in disgust. "No Way," he says flatly.
I scoff. "What'd you mean? Why do you say it like that. We already do stuff anyways." This isn't something I'd think he'd react about. I mean he didn't react the first time I got a boner. And it's technically all sex depending on how you look at it.
"I can see where this is going, Craig and you're not gonna let me shove my dick in your ass, right? But I don't really want a dick in my ass either. You see how this is a problem?"
"Why not?"
Tweek blushes. "Because that'll fucking hurt!"
He's kinda right. I assumed Tweek would bottom without even thinking about whether or not he wanted to. Or that he might have the same reservations about why he wouldn't.
"Fair. Why don't we flip a coin then?"
Tweek blinks at me. "And if It lands on heads... I can top?"
I blink back. "Yeah, if that's the side you're choosing."
He narrows his eyes at me. "Seriously?"
"Alternatively, if it lands on tails..."
"This is suspicious," Tweek decides.
I shake my head. "Then you flip a coin. I'll be heads and you be tails."
Tweek pulls out his wallet. "I'll be heads," he insists, pulling out a quarter.
"Toss it and then turn it over your wrist."
"I know how to flip a coin, asshole." Tweek tosses the coin in the air, catches it and smacks it to his wrist. He stares at it.
He's quiet.
"So," I say. "I have the house to myself this Friday evening, if you're free we can-"
Tweek flushes. "I hate you," he says.
"Hey, you said-"
He covers his face with his hands. "I know what I fucking said. I didn't say I wasn't going to. I just hate how you do that."
"I would've done it," I say. "You flipped the coin."
"Fuck," Tweek says, biting his lip. "Alright," he agrees. "Friday but after boxing. I don't want this to interfere with my practice."
"Of course."
"And this still doesn't mean anything. I just wanna try it." I don't know if Tweek means our relationship or sexuality. I try not to think about it. "And if I don't like it we're stopping."
"Of course," I tell him again. "I'm surprised you were so chill about it."
"Once again you're so readable, I pretty much already knew. I just wondered if you actually wanted to."
"Did you want to?"
He shrugs. "I'd like to try it. I didn't really wanna bottom but its obvious why and it's fine. I'm not obsessing over it but I'm down. Just didn't know if you were." Because we're both dudes and this is weird.
"Tweek-"
"Alright, I'm back," Mr. Lau reappears and sots at his desk.
"Nevermind," I say. I grab my bag. "I'll see you at practice today then?"
"Mhm."
