Wednesday
"Craig, it's time to wake up. You're gonna be late for school." It's about as nice as my mom can get at this point, I'm guessing. And I'm grateful because once again, mornings here at the Tucker house are hard for everyone involved. Both of my parents seem so fed up with me. It's frustrating considering I don't think I'm doing all that bad. I'm an adult. I can make my own choices now even if I'm still in high school. They could lay off a little. I see where they're coming from but still. I'm not perfect. And I'm going through a lot.
They don't know that though. All I've been doing lately is dodging people. Anyone who would listen or could probably help, you know, just the important ones.
I pretty much wear what I wore to bed: gym shorts and a sweat shirt but I change into a clean sweatshirt. One without stains and holes. What else? Augh, I'm half asleep.
"Fuck!" Forget everything I don't have; I don't need it.
"What?!" My mom calls as I rush past her.
"My test. I forgot. Fuck!" I pull my sneakers on. How much time do I have? How much do I need? Assuming it's the same amount of questions, a thirty-question test in… thirty-five minutes. But by the time I get there it'll be more like twenty-eight. That's fine. I already took it and it's Science so I either know it or I don't.
I speed to school, disregarding a lot of traffic signals. But here's to not giving a shit and hoping for the best. I sprint to this man's room, pausing at the door to compose myself. I made it with thirty minutes and when I sit down and he hands me the test, it's a shortened version. Fuck, I can rest.
Well, I mean, I could still fail it. No, I won't think about that.
I finish pretty quickly and Mr. Board tells me if I wait he can grade it there. I'm nervous. What's my move if I fail this class? Can I walk if I fail this class? Can I graduate if I fail this class? How did I get here?
"Hm," he hums after a while. I blink at him. I hate him so much. Hm. Did I pass or not, fuck face? "Good job. You got an eighty-eight this time. Unfortunately, I'll have to average the scores together, but it's still way better than what you would have had."
I thank his dumbass again for the opportunity and then leave. In my head, I do the math. I got a 68 before and an 88 this time and my percentage in the class-
"Craig, hey man," Token greets, followed by Clyde and Kenny. I'm too busy with my thoughts though. He's gonna throw me off and Clyde and Kenny can choke and die.
This is reiterated by a sharp glare to the trio and me continuing on my path. The bell rings. "Can we skip the part where you're mad and you hold a grudge?" Clyde asks, "Can we just go to the part where you realize we're still your friends and being angry is a waste of time? We're sorry. We didn't mean to piss you off."
"It's just too easy," Kenny adds.
"You guys are too old for your shit sometimes. It's annoying. I'm a senior in high school but I feel like we're preschoolers sometimes."
"Any other day you would've found that funny," says Kenny.
"What the fuck are you talking about? I'd only find that shit funny if I were drunk or something," I say. "If I were intoxicated and acting like a child," I emphasize.
"Fine, whatever, Craig. We're immature and you're hot shit," Kenny says. "Do you forgive us? You're going to eventually anyways. C'mon now."
"I mean, I still think you guys are fucking idiots but yeah, you're right. I forgive you then."
"Thank you, your majesty. I am but a mere peasant. May I kiss the ground that is so blessed to be walked upon by you?"
"You apologized to me. You were asking for my forgiveness and I gave it so shut the fuck up and take it, Ken. Before I take my anger out on you."
"Scary," Ken shivers, "Sounds genuine." We make it to class and all take our seats. "Something happen to make you so pissed?"
I shrug, "My parents can't just chill until I graduate. They think it's me but I'm pretty sure I'm always like this."
"You are," Clyde agrees.
"Alright, everyone, pay attention," our teacher starts.
"Wake me up when class is over," I tell them, putting my head down. I'm gonna fail for sure. I just wish I gave a shit.
I'm dumping my books at my locker during lunch and Tweek enters the hall. He cut his hair. "Hey," I greet, out of habit. Although, I don't know if we still don't talk at school. There were never any rules. Just things we did and things we didn't do.
"Hey," Tweek says.
"Where are you headed?"
He shrugs, "Probably gonna grab lunch and head somewhere to eat."
"Why don't you just eat in the cafeteria?" This isn't something I'd usually ask but here we are having a discussion, while walking to lunch. Together.
"I hate the cafeteria," he says. "Crowds give me anxiety," he sums it up. I didn't know Tweek had anxiety. Well I know he used to have it bad but he's grown to be so indifferent and seemingly confident in himself. "Don't tell me you're gonna tag along again."
"Nah," I say. "Sorry to disappoint you but I had predetermined plans to eat with the guys. We can eat together tomorrow though."
"I wasn't asking you to eat with me," he blushes. "Whatever," he starts to walk off but I grab his arm and pull him back. He tries to snatch it from me and looks annoyed but I don't let it go. Only because he tried to snatch it away and that makes me a little annoyed. I don't have that right really but I disregard.
"I don't have to work today," I tell him.
"Woop-dee-doo." His hair looks cute. I can see his face more. I hope I'm not blushing.
"We can box right after school," I explain. "If you want."
He looks thoughtful. His eyes are stunning. "Alright, give me time to go home and get my shit though." His eyelashes are long too. I wonder why I've never thought of taking a picture of him. He looks really good today. What the hell… "Alright?"
What did he say? Fuck. "Er, Yeah, of course," I stammer. "I can give you a ride if you want. My stuff's in my truck already," I tell him once I get it together.
"You and your stupid truck," he grumbles.
"Yeah, it's so tedious having the convenience of being able to go wherever we want."
"It's okay, I'll just meet you at the gym. Now, let go of me, psycho." If I stopped being so forceful would you pursue me instead? Would you care either way? Because of your indifference.
I'm significantly stressed. I text Toke that I'm skipping lunch to smoke and he meets me by the dumpsters. "I didn't mean for you to come…"
He shrugs, "I came because I didn't want you out here by yourself. I was done anyways." I light my cigarette. "You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm just tense. I don't know. I'm stressed. School, my parents, my future-"
"Your lover."
This makes me laugh out loud. "My lover?"
"What else should I call her?"
I roll my eyes. "Anyways," I say. "Yeah, I guess that too." But it should all be fine after Friday. Lovers… ha. Even after we have sex we won't be.
"We don't have that long left," he assures me. "You'll be fine." And I will, because Token said so. "Everything's wrapping up. All the finals are bullshit, you know? We're just cruising now. As for your parents, you oughta just go to school and not act out until you graduate because I think they won't care what you do after that. You can just live with them until you figure the rest out." I don't think Token realizes my current grades and the actual damage. It isn't bad or anything, at least I don't think so but it's barely making it.
"Yeah, you're right." I still feel uneasy.
"And about this girl."
"Alright," I say. "Let's talk about anything else."
Token laughs but drops it thankfully. That's the last thing I want to think about.
The rest if the day drags on. I wish I could just leave. I think knowing I have to stay is making it worse. I couldn't even smoke.
But finally, the last bell rings. I trudge along to my locker. I put my combination in and lean inside. "What's wrong with you?"
"Go away, Kenny."
"Ha," Kenny pats my back. "C'mon, man. I care about you."
"I'm stressed and kinda sore. And I'm having problems sleeping," I start listing off into my locker.
Kenny laughs again and I regret being so honest. But then he says, "You just need to get high."
I chuckle, "You're right."
"Here," Kenny pulls out one of those oversized pill bottles that you get with vape juice. But I don't have a vape and I don't think there's juice in it. I take it from him and put it in my back in one smooth move.
"Why do you have this at school?"
Kenny rolls his eyes. "I don't need to be lectured, bro. If you don't want it, give it back."
"How much?"
"Take it, it's yours."
Gross. "Augh, no, how much?"
"Smoke it before bed. It's Indica so it's should help you relax." He starts to walk away. "I gotta go. Feel better, dude."
"Thanks, Ken…" I grab my stuff and head to my truck.
I head to the gym to start working and wait for Tweek. I don't really mind how long it takes him. I just know exercise will help too. But he doesn't take long to show up. He's already dressed. He gears up and we fight for a while. He gets me in the face good and I go down. Fuck. I'm so fucking lame. He leans over me. "You good?"
I squeeze my eyes shut. "Yeah, just- stunned, I guess. Give me a second." He really got me. Jesus, this is reminding me of the first time we boxed and he knocked me out. That shit hurt so fucking bad though, this is nothing.
"Sorry, you leaned into it."
"What?!"
He laughs. "Yeah, you really suck." He offers his hand and I take it. Tweek pulls me to my feet and as soon as I'm steady I attack him. Tweek tries to get me in a head lock so instead, I grab him by his legs, heave him up, and slam him onto the mat. He gasps. "Craig!" he shouts. "Are you fucking insane?!"
I can't respond through how hard I'm laughing. "But it didn't hurt, right?" The look on his face was everything.
He glares at me which means no. He tries to move to get up but I pin him back, throwing my leg over his to hold him down. His eye brow twitches. "You're starting to piss me off."
"Prove it."
"Right here?" he asks. "After almost getting caught a two days ago?"
"It was weird enough he showed up then. What are the odds he'd come back again today?"
"It's early," he says, glancing towards the door.
"Scared?"
"This is dumb."
I flip Tweek onto his Stomach and press myself against his back. "I thought you said you said you didn't care," I murmur by his ear. He seems flustered which is new. I don't know if it was on purpose or not but his back arches a little bit which I take as an invitation. I slip my hand between him and the mat and press it against his stomach, pushing him more into me. Then it slides into his shorts. Tweek lets out a loud breath. I start to rock against him while my hand moves on him. I grind against Tweek and he presses back into it. I kiss the back of his neck. I want to make him feel good since he hasn't been liking fingers and it seems like that's all we do anymore.
"G- gonna- ah- mn- come on the mat," he struggles. He's right.
"Wait." I toss my shirt over my head and throw it under him. Then I lean back into him.
Tweek and I seem to come only seconds apart. It's weird but a nice weird.
I didn't really think about where we were, what time it was, or any of that. That's pretty scary.
We pant together, him still beneath me. "We should clean up quickly," I say after a while.
"Yeah," he agrees, dazed.
"You okay?"
"Yeah," he repeats. I move to stand and start cleaning up. Tweek follows after a few seconds to clean up as well. We get our stuff together and head to the locker room. We undress, shower, and then head out to my truck.
It registers far too late that I left out what Kenny had given me. And I left it in the passenger seat. If I'd thought of it fast enough. I could've grabbed it before Tweek opened the door but he was in before me. And he's holding the baggie up before I even have my seatbelt on. Luckily for me though, Tweek only laughs. "You're a real delinquent. First cigarettes, now weed?"
"Shut up. Kenny gave it to me. I told him I was stressed and," I glance at it. That idiot.
Tweek laughs. "That's so funny. Your friends sound stupid."
"They are."
"Still, now we have this," he says. I'm about to ask him to elaborate what he means when he pulls something out of his bag. "If you are stressed, I can roll." It's blunt wraps. I stare at them probably too long. Why does he even fucking have that on him now? "Well, asshole?"
"Yeah sure," I settle. I'll have to drive us somewhere else though. I start the truck.
"You sure? No pressure."
"Nah, I do. I just wasn't expecting you to have those in your bag. Just not the reaction I would've expected."
Tweek only laughs more. I wish instead, he'd explain why. I don't want to immediately jump to stoner but he has them and "knows how to roll." But Tweek is so athletic and fit. There's no way he's going home and smoking a bowl every day.
But Tweek finishes rolling before I even arrive to the spot and when I eventually get to look at it. It's really fucking good. Seamless. It's seamless. How'd he do that? He rolls like Kenny. Better than Kenny. Like his older brother, Kevin.
"Nice..."
"Thanks," he says.
The spot I mentioned is just a small clearing on a path that leads into the woods somewhere just a little outside of town. It's the only place I could think of. We got super lucky though because it's beautiful and I hadn't planned that part.
"You wanna start it since it's your weed?"
I snort and wave him off. "I don't care about that shit. Go ahead."
He lights it and takes a huge hit before passing it to me. My truck is already filled with smoke. It's a nice blunt. Hits well. Tweek's a stoner. What a development.
We pass it back and forth until I can hardly see anymore. In my haze, I think about how I'll have to drive us back.
"Why're you so stressed?" he asks, blowing out smoke. "This is the easiest part of everything."
I'm hesitant. Because this is delving into my personal life and issues and we don't discuss that. "It's mostly my parents and the future."
He nods, handing the blunt to me. "Are your parents mad that you're not going to college or something?"
I chuckle and nod, taking a hit. "Something like that. Yeah."
"That's dumb. I hate the idea that college means success and choosing to not go automatically means you've failed. You don't really need to waste your money on college if it's not beneficial to your plans."
"I have no idea what I want to do," I admit.
Tweek shrugs, "You're only 18. You have plenty of time. You can still go."
It makes me feel a little better but I'd rather not talk about this anymore.
"I didn't expect you to be someone who smoked."
Tweek snorts. "Why not?"
I shrug. I don't really know anything about him. "I guess I judged your appearance," I admit. "... What else are you hiding?"
"Just because you didn't know doesn't mean I was hiding it," he tells me. "That's not something you usually tell people anyways." He's right but still, I know nothing about him. But I can't just bombard him with questions.
"Wanna play music?" I ask him, handing him the AUX cord. "I'm not picky," I add.
He hums, "My music's kinda weird…"
"I don't have a preference," I assure him. "Play whatever you want," I want to say within reason. And you know, I wish I did care. But even if it's the shittiest music ever, it just won't be. Because it's his music.
"It's pretty much elevator music," he says.
"Play it."
Tweek plugs in his phone and begins a song. It's slow but funky. The song is something like psychedelic rock, garage, and pop. "It's not bad. I like it." Hm?
"Why are you blushing?" He turns towards the door so I can't see his face. I lean closer. "Is your music your kink or something?"
Tweek groans, "No, asshole! I just don't usually share this stuff with people. It's embarrassing."
"You're so weird sometimes," I lean back. "Who knew," I say. "All it took to make you blush is complimenting your music." Music can be kinda vulnerable, I guess. I don't really listen to it like that but if I think about it, Tweek always has his headphones in at school. "Wow. So, at school you're really jamming, all the time." This gets him to laugh a little. He shakes his head.
"It's not popular stuff. Most of it's stuff nobody's' really heard of."
"Good music's good music. Right?"
"I don't know," he says. "Not really when it's subjective."
"Then it is 'cause I'm saying so."
"Okay," he settles.
"You're hair's nice."
"…Thanks."
"Why the pause?"
"That was a weird thing to say."
"I don't think so. Whatever it is we do, I obviously like the way you look so if you change your hair, I'm gonna tell you I like it."
He starts laughing. "Even if you don't?"
"I would though," I tell him. It's a promise, I don't know what he takes it as though. He just stares at me and starts laughing harder. But I wish he knew I wasn't joking.
"You got so serious! Fine, okay, yeah, I'd like you even if you shaved your head."
"That'd probably look good."
"Yeah," he agrees. "It would."
"I'm not shaving my head," I assure him.
"I was hoping you wouldn't." I narrow my eyes at him and he laughs some more. When his laughing dies down he says, "She cut it too short."
"Let me see."
"What?" he looks at me and I just lift the center console, opening my lap to him. "C'mere and let me see." He blinks a little bit but crawls over onto my lap anyways. I stare at his face and he looks at the door. "It looks good short though. It makes your eyes stand out more."
"It's not like I'm trying to get noticed."
I snort but when he looks at me I wave him off. "I'm just complimenting you. Usually people say thank you."
"I did say thank you."
"It was a very delayed, apprehensive 'thanks,'" I say. "And then you called me weird."
"You are weird," he mutters.
"That's rude. You're one to talk."
"Hm," he won't look me in the eyes. "I'm not weird like you though."
"What's the difference."
He chuckles, "Fuck off." Maybe he'll tell me one day.
We start kissing naturally. I was enjoying myself but Tweek stops me and says, "I can't anymore. I'm gonna get hard."
"I'm not seeing the problem," I mumble, against his neck.
"My legs hurt, asshole! We can't do anything like this."
This kills my vibe completely. I sigh. "Fine. Alright. Are you ready to go back?"
"Yeah…" he says, crawling back into his seat. "This was nice. This is the kind of driving I like."
"Roll down the sunroof." There's a tiny second I catch and I'm so glad I do. Tweek looked so happy. We start driving back, wind whipping me in the face. But Tweek looks so happy.
Eventually I pull up to his house. "Thanks," he says vaguely before hopping out. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Bye."
