Title: Some Things Are Meant To Be [Part Two]
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: Just above 10k

Notes: Right, well thank you for all reviewing the last chapter; your comments are greatly appreciated! Though I see I have a mix of responses, but I can promise the people who are hesitant about this that it isn't like If It Hurts This Much. There are a few similarities as you can see, like the wedding, Santana and Brittany being friends, but I've got an outlined plan of this and it's definitely NOT like my other fic so please, bare with me and don't jump to conclusions.

/

They pop open a bottle of champagne to celebrate, and Santana sits on the armchair, watching Brittany snuggle into Jason's side as they say a cheers and all take their first sip. She can see how happy her best friend and it makes her smile herself, but there's still that little something tugging at the back of her mind and no matter what she does, she can't seem to shake it.

So she just keeps drinking and drinking, and unexpectedly, soon enough, she's drunk. Champagne's what she would call her 'weakness' drink. The one that no matter how much she drinks, whether that's a small amount or not, it will always go straight to her head. It's Brittany's weakness drunk too, and that'd probably explain why she's barely even drunk half of her first glass, meanwhile Jason's on his fourth and Santana's giving him a run for his money. Except she's just a little more out of it than he is.

"You're drunk," Brittany giggles from the sofa and Santana blinks a few times, regaining her vision before gazing at her best friend with a goofy smile.

"And you're pretty," she slurs back, finally taking note of the empty spot beside Brittany. Where's Jason? "Where's the boy?" She asks, dragging her head from left to right to search the room for him. Her eyes go a bit funny, vision a little distorted, and she squeezes them shut, opening them purposely and widening them to stare properly.

"He went out to take a call."

The voice is a lot louder than it was a minute ago and Santana presses her palm to her forehead, covering one eye and squinting at the face right before hers. Brittany's now crouching on the floor, setting down her glass and taking tanned hands between her own, carefully. Santana has no idea when her best friend got here, when she got up or even why but she's a little too distracted by the way blue eyes are slowly roaming over her face. Though she suspects that's probably just the alcohol making her think Brittany's staring when she's really not.

"Are you okay?" Brittany questions and sucks in her bottom lip, her eyes clouding with concern as they continue their trail over Santana's face.

And Santana takes a few moments but then her heart falters, suddenly fearing the question. Shit. Brittany's not going to bring up her earlier delayed reaction is she? She's not going to ask about the strange reaction she had to the news of the engagement. If she is, Santana really isn't in a position to respond with anything. Not unless she wants to start crying or blurt out the truth. She has a habit of doing both when she's strongly influenced by alcohol.

"I'm good," she pushes out, hoping her words came out clearer than before as she holds back the panic bubbling inside her. Her head cocks to the side as she thinks over Brittany's question again, forgetting all fear of why Brittany might be asking her this. "Why wouldn't I be?"

The corners of Brittany's lips pinch up and it's a long few seconds before she replies. A long few seconds of Santana gazing at Brittany and wondering how someone can be so pretty.

"You've got a lot going on, San," the blonde girl finally comes out with, stroking a palm over the back of Santana's hand whilst cradling the other. "And I know planning my wedding is going to give you more stress."

She doesn't know why, but that answer seems to send a cool wash of relief through Santana's body. She thinks it might be to do with the fact that Brittany isn't asking her about her obvious dislike toward the news of the engagement, though she doesn't want to jinx it because just her luck, she'll just stop panicking and then Brittany will pounce on her with the question and honestly, Santana doesn't do well under pressure. She freaking cracks when she's put under it, or says something mean, and she doesn't really feel like doing either of those, thank you very much. So she's just going to keep quiet and send a prayer to the heavens that Brittany never brings up her lack of response or the look she just knows she had on her face when she heard the news.

"Oh," she clears her throat and sits up a little. "No, it's fine. I'd love to do it."

Brittany grins, wide and bright. "Yeah?" She asks, beaming with excitement as her hand clutches Santana's tighter.

And really, Santana just can't resist that, so she rolls her eyes to try and hide the smile on her face. "Yeah, Britt Britt. I'd be honored."

"Awesome."

They grin at each other for a long moment, just staring and Santana suspects she might feel a little awkward if there wasn't alcohol in her blood, but she can't find a damn to give right now and so just continues gazing into Brittany's eyes. But the longer the stares, the quicker her mind races with thoughts of Brittany, marriage, freaking Jason, and that's when a certain memory pops to the forefront of her mind, making her pause. Now, as she thinks about it, she knows how inappropriate it is to bring it up considering Brittany deserves to celebrate over this, but once again the amount of alcohol running through her blood stream, she can't seem to find the filter that stops stupid things from coming out her mouth and it just pours out.

"Don't you think... think it was a bit out of the blue?" She slurs, wetting her lips and looking between blue. "Like, Jay-bag proposing? Wasn't it a little out of the blue?"

Brittany's heard jerks back a little and she squints, ignoring the quip about her fiancée. It kind of bothers Santana and she doesn't know why.

"What do you mean?"

"I just mean, like, after our conversation..." Santana tries but can tell by the further narrowing of blue eyes that she's not going about this the right way. "A few months back... when he said all those things and now it's just... changed. So quickly," she explains but feels like she isn't making sense. She's pretty sure her words aren't coming out the way she hopes they are, but she really, really wants to get her point across. Though if Brittany's expression is anything to go by, she should probably change the way she's getting it across. "I mean, it's so..." her eyes slide to the right as she think of the correct word. The polite wording of it. "Convenient?"

Blue eyes narrow until they seem almost closed but Santana's too focused on the memories washing through her to really notice.

/

Santana came home one night after the most horrific date and found Brittany on the sofa, curled up under a blanket with some romantic comedy playing on the TV in front of her. Her heart immediately swelled with the image and all thoughts of how her night went shot straight out her mind as she headed over to her best friend and knelt down, carefully brushing a piece of hair from Brittany's face and just staring.

Even though they were best friends, she couldn't deny that Brittany was gorgeous. It was just one of those things that was undeniable. Like the beauty of sunset, or the sound of a baby laughing. Those things were beautiful and Brittany just fit into it because she was her.

"Britt," she whispered. "Britt, sweetie," she let her palm drift down to Brittany's jaw to sweep along it as the other girl began to stir, eyes fluttering open. "I'm home."

When blue eyes finally met hers she smiled widely, her heart flipping and turning inside her chest.

"Hey," Brittany stretched her arms way above her head and several bones cracked, making Santana wince. She smacked her lips together to moisten them and nuzzled further into her pillow as her arms returned to her side, curling back up. And damn, she really was the most adorable being on the earth. "Time is it?"

Santana smiled softly, watching her best friend in awe. "Around ten thirty," she answered, stroking her hand over her face again.

"And you're back already?" Brittany blurted out, seeming a hell of a lot more alert. Her eyes were wide, all sleep gone from her appearance and her brows were knitted together so tightly Santana felt the need to reach out and stroke over them, but she didn't. "What happened?"

She shook her head at the memory of her evening, thinking about how awful it was. "She just wasn't right for me," she shrugged, knowing that answer was just as good as any.

Blue eyes roamed around her face for a long moment before Brittany shuffled back against the sofa and patted the space in front of her, not looking entirely convinced by her words. Instantly the gesture perked up Santana's mood and she shifted on to her feet to lie beside her best friend, their bodies pressing close together, legs tangling together and hands finding purchase on hips and waists to ensure no-one fell off. That hardwood floor really did what it said on the tin. A few months back, she and Brittany were cuddling and somewhere along the line they fell asleep. To make a long story short, Santana fell off, landed on her front (somehow) and had the breath ripped straight from her chest.

Anyway, they were always touchy which was odd considering Santana was never like that with anyone else but Brittany had never been just 'anyone' and it was just one of those things they did. It was one of those things that started off a little strange, because of everything that had happened, but just grew and transformed into normality after a while. Snuggling, cuddling, lying heads on laps and spontaneous hugs throughout the day was all that was included; they were always just so close so this was nothing out of the normal.

But it was sometimes hard for Santana to remember that.

Sometimes she'd come home from a busy night at the bar, or the library, or even come back from an awful date, and she'd be greeted by a beautiful blonde with a smile that could light up the entire town. And Brittany alone, even with a simple glance and a hug would be able to just wash off all the shit of Santana's shoulders and make her feel warm and welcome, like that is where she was supposed to be. In Brittany's arms.

And that's why sometimes it was hard to remember where she stood with Brittany. They were friends. The best of friends, actually, but sometimes when she was down and moping around, moaning about how the overcast weather was reflecting her feelings and wanting nothing more than to just curl up under a blanket and fall asleep to the sound of rain pelting against the windows, Brittany would come along and it was just... disappear. It would vanish and she'd be left with this warmth inside her chest that she would stay there until she was alone once more.

So sometimes she had to force herself to accept that she was just Brittany's friend. That they were just incredibly close best friends. That was one of their rules.

And damn,did Santana know how much rules sucked.

But it was one of her favorite things, having Brittany comfort her and coming home to Brittany, and saying something would only change the situation and she didn't want that. Plus, there wasn't even anything to say. It's not like she was in love with Brittany or anything; she just liked coming home to her and being with her as much as she could. She liked their hugs, cuddles, togetherness. She liked waking up, knowing that the first face she would see outside the mirror was Brittany's and she liked knowing that most of the time, her face would be the last living thing Brittany saw before they both parted ways to their respective bedrooms and went to sleep.

That's all. She just liked Brittany and everything to do with the girl. She was kind of addictive.

A finger tracing around her brow brought her out from her daze and she blinked, bringing her vision from blankness up to blue eyes to find them staring at her quizzically.

"You're thinking," Brittany stated, eyes clouding with concern and lips pinching at the side. "And not in the good way."

"I'm fine," Santana breathed, knowing she couldn't possibly tell Brittany what was on her mind without sounding like a total freak. "Just thinking about life."

The blonde girls head tilted to the side as much as it could against the sofa cushion, eyes boring into dark ones. "What about life?"

Santana flexed her hand against Brittany's waist, eyes drifting down to watch the movement as she did so and there was this weird ache behind her ribcage as she inhaled deeply. She thought if she filled it with oxygen or even left her response dwelling for a few minutes that it would go away, so she stayed silent and took a few more breaths but it just never disappeared. The ache stayed and so she figured it was something to do with that burrito from the questionable stand on the sidewalk and decided to just spill.

"What if I never find the right person?" She murmured, purposely diverting her vision down to where her hand lay on Brittany's wait. "What if I..." she trailed off, thinking she was stupid for even having this conversation. "What if I never find that person?" She continued, now deciding it was the right time to lift her gaze to meet blue. "You know? Like, 'the one.'"

Brittany's eyebrows pushed together in the middle of her forehead and she stared at Santana for long moments, reading her. With other people, that would've totally made Santana feel uncomfortable, but she knew there was no bad intention behind Brittany reading her and honestly, it was kind of relaxing to not have to keep her guard up all the damn time. She liked that she didn't have to keep Brittany at arm's length because Brittany wouldn't hurt a fly.

"You will," Brittany suddenly said, confidently, tearing Santana from her thoughts. "I know for a fact you will, San." Her long fingers trailed along Santana's cheekbone and down to her bottom lip, skimming over it lightly and making Santana suck in a sharp gasp, praying that it was audible. "People with a heart like yours will never end up alone."

Santana stared, eyebrows rising a little and lips dropping open as Brittany's finger slipped away from her face. She thought about the words, and let them really sink in through her chest, curl around her heart and hug it gently until she felt nothing but warmth where that ache behind her ribcage used to be. And it shouldn't make her feel like that, because there was still that stupid tiny voice in the back of her mind from the night they met, telling her that this wasn't fair. That she shouldn't have to deal with this but she just ignored it. Every single time.

After all, there was no point in listening to it if she knew she and Brittany were just best friends.

"You think?"

"Of course," the blonde girl confirmed, shifting even closer and spreading warmth across the entirely of Santana's skin as they melted into each other like chocolate on a summer's day. Their noses bumped and eyes locked, and Santana was used to this distance between them, or rather lack of, but it always had exactly the same effect on her. Speeding up of her heart rate, the sudden dryness of her lips and the way her mind was almost clouded because being that damn close to Brittany was just entrancing. "I mean, you've got to make mistakes to find perfection, to the learn the lessons you need to and to find your way, but I know you'll get there."

Hearing it from someone else wouldn't have felt anywhere near as good as hearing it from Brittany. Plus, from Brittany, Santana actually believed it.

"I will?"

"You will," Brittany breathed, her eyes softening. "I have no doubt about it."

Santana let her eyes fall shut as she tipped their foreheads together and just reveled in the feeling of Brittany's arms wrapping around her and pulling her tight. Those moments were pretty rare, despite the consistent proximity of their relationship. Sure, they'd sit together, maybe rest a head in a lap and stroke fingers through hair and have a little cuddle here and therethat was just thembut lying down and snuggling so intimately, noses squashed together and lips so close if they moved half a centimeter they'd be kissing? They weren't so common.

And as she lay there and thought about Brittany's words, she realized there was something she hadn't picked up on. Why was Brittany here anyway? She was supposed to be on a date with her long-term boyfriend, Jake or Jason or Jack, or whatever his name was. Plus Brittany seemed a lot more cuddly than usual, and she didn't need a reason behind this snuggle because with Brittany, she was always down with snuggling, but there was something more and Santana just knew it. She could feel it.

"Wait," she pulled back until they could face each other, her eyes narrowing into a squint. "What's wrong with you?"

Brittany blinked. "Nothing."

Santana squinted further, her expression clearly not buying that crap. "No, come on," she pressed on, cupping a pale cheek and staring into deep, blue eyes. "What's wrong? Why are you here?"

"I live here?" Brittany's nose scrunched, showing confusion but it was utterly adorable and Santana let herself chuckle a little.

"No," she said through a chuckle. "I mean, weren't you supposed to be with the boy?"

"Jason," Brittany corrected, sighing. Santana kind of loved that she could make a jibe at 'Jake' and get a reaction. Showed Brittany cared about what Santana thought. "And yeah, but we had a fight."

Santana tensed immediately. Anyone that upset Brittany was immediately on her list and she'd have no hesitation taking this Jason kid out. It's not like they didn't get along, he just... he just wasn't her favorite person for more than one reason.

"What did he do?" She gritted through a clenched jaw, searching blue eyes. "Did he hurt you? Make you cry?"

Brittany chose to look away instead of meeting Santana's gaze and Santana knew her best friend was about to cry. She shifted forward and pressed the blonde against the back of the couch, forcing her to look at her.

"Britt, you need to tell me if he hurt you or made you cry. I swear to God I will go all Bruce Lee on his puny white ass―"

"No," Brittany cut off, her voice so small Santana's anger vanished. "No, he didn't hurt me. We just... we talked about things."

Brown eyes narrowed again. "Things being?"

"The future," Brittany shrugged, biting her bottom lip and looking up through watery eyes. "He just..." She paused to suck in a shaky breath. Santana took the opportunity to reach between them and grab the other girls hand, tangling their fingers together and secretly telling her that she'll listen when Brittany's ready to tell her. Even if she had that burning need to just know. "He just said that he didn't―that he didn't want to marry me."

Santana's eyes almost bulged out her head, her mouth dropped open and she let out this weird little scoff that sounded almost like a laugh, but kind of like she was choking. Brittany instantly gazed at her, confusion edging across her features and she just had to shake her head because that probably wasn't the reaction Brittany wanted her to have to something like that.

"Britt that's―he's just―that's fucking stupid," she hissed, mostly to herself and if Jason were in the room, to him, too. "That's such bullshit."

A crinkle formed between fair eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

"I mean―you're perfect," Santana blurted out, not quite understand what she'd just said. Later she would lie in bed, think over words and realize what she'd said and meant, but at that moment she ignored the way Brittany's heart skipped a beat and continued talking. "You're perfect, Britt. You're everything anyone could ever want in a wife and if he doesn't want to marry you that's complete bullcrap," her voice held so much strength that even she was surprised herself. But she couldn't hide it, nor was she going to take it back. She meant what she was damn well saying. "Seriously, if he doesn't then he's a bigger idiot than I thought."

A smile tugged at the corner of pink lips. "You think so?" Brittany asked sheepishly, ducking her chin to her chest and peering up through her lashes.

"Britt," Santana breathed, scrunching her face up to pause. She wasn't quite sure how she could tell Brittany just how stupid that Jason kid was for not wanting to marry her. Who the hell wouldn't want to? Hell, if Santana could she'd marry Brittany in a second. There'd be no hesitations about it. "That guy is so fucking dumb I can't even―he's just―such a freaking... ass. Honestly, if I were him there's no chance I'd ever say that and―"

"Why?"

Santana stilled, her heart thumping irregularly inside her chest. "What?"

"Why wouldn't you say that you wouldn't marry me?"

Oh shit. There it was. Brittany was so close. So so close that there was no chance in hell Santana could lie without Brittany seeing right through it, but as Santana thought about it, the truth didn't seem that bad after all. When was telling the truth ever a bad thing? Plus, if anything, she was totally complementing Brittany.

With her free hand, she pushed back Brittany's to get a better look at her face as she prepared herself to speak the truth. Fuck it. She had nothing to lose and she was trying to cheer up her best friend. It was totally okay to say.

"Because I'd marry you in a second," she whispered and Brittany's breath hitched. Yet Santana just continued, "You'd be the perfect wife because you are perfect. And Jake or Jason or whatever the hell his name is, saying he doesn't want to marry you just proves how much of an ass hat he is."

They stayed silent for a long moment after that declaration. Santana's hand was still on Brittany's cheek and her other hand was still clasping Brittany's free one, and their eyes were still gazing into each other but it was like no-one wanted to break it first. No-one wanted to look away and so the words settled in and the smiles on their faces began to fade and the seconds just ticked by until blue eyes finally glanced away, but not around the room and not towards the TV playing in the background, but towards the lower half of Santana's face. To her lips.

And that brought on the overwhelming urge to just move that little bit closer and close the distance between them, kissing Brittany and repeating that she'd marry her any day into her mouth.

Santana wanted to so badly.

So fucking badly that she was almost shaking with the strength she was using to bite back it back, but she knew she couldn't do it. There were boundaries between them, rules and lines and all that jazz, and if she did that she'd be stepping so far past the lines that they were just a dot in the distance. They couldn't go back there. Not after what happened last time and so she did the only thing she could do and pulled Brittany into a hug. Wrapped her arms around the blonde girls waist and slipped one beneath a long neck to coax her best friend into the tightest hug she'd ever given. And Brittany responded by sighing into her neck and nuzzling gently, fisting the back of Santana's shirt to keep their embrace going for as long as possible. Totally didn't help with the whole wanting to kiss her thing, but at least she couldn't at that angle.

"Hey, Santana?"

Santana didn't back away; that would have broken her restraint. "Yeah, B?"

"When we're 28, and if we're still single, do you wanna marry me?"

Santana was so shocked by the sudden proposal that she couldn't help but reel back so far she would've fallen straight off the couch if it weren't for the hands on her back and waist. Her mouth dropped open so far she probably looked like a gaping fish, but she couldn't really care about that. Did Brittany ask her to future marry her? What the hell? Where did that even come from?

"Wh―at?" She croaked, voice cracking and expression completely shocked. Blindsided would be a good word to describe how she had felt.

"You and me," Brittany pushed gently at her shoulders until they were face to face, staring into each others eyes once more. She shrugged as she continued, like what she'd just said totally wasn't out of the blue and so surprising that Santana damn near died from shock. "We should make like, a pact."

Santana didn't reply, just stared and waited it out. Was Brittany serious?

"Okay..." Brittany pushed and twisted until she could sit up, and grudgingly Santana did too, instantly missing the warmth of the other girls body pressed against her own. But this was serious talk, she could see it in her best friends expression and so they both shifted their legs, bumping limbs a few times until they were seated opposite it each on the couch, sides pressed into the back of it and legs crossed in front of them, kneecaps touching and hands holding each other in the gap between their shins. "Are you ready?"

Not knowing what she was supposed to be ready for, Santana shrugged and nodded at her, listening intently. She was still so shocked by the whole thing that she hadn't managed to get a word out. The only thing she could relate herself to at that moment was in Friends when Ross found out that Rachel was pregnant. It was that kind of shocking. That kind of big, and Santana was sort of sitting, staring and blinking. She had no idea what to say.

So she just offered a weak nod.

"Right, okay, basically," Brittany shifted and the beginning of a smile tugged at her lips. "When you and I," she gestured between them. "Are 28, and if we're both still completely unattached―"

"Does that include fuck buddies?" Santana cut in, smirking. She had a few in the past and who knew what the future held.

"Yes, that includes fuck buddies," Brittany deadpanned, eyes dropping. She'd never liked to hear about Santana's 'fuck buddies' and so Santana just pulled an apologetic expression and smiled. "Anyway, listen," Brittany started again, poking Santana's nose. "If we're both 28 and completely singlewith no fuck buddies―" Santana's mouth opened but Brittany sped up her words. "Or any other type of attachment including feelings or sex―" Santana's mouth clamped shut and the blonde smirked. "Then we," she gestured between them again. "Will get married."

"Does it include sex?"

Brittany's face dropped, unamused and Santana just lifted her shoulder, totally amused by herself. She didn't know did she and it was a legitimate question.

"What?" She squeaked, raising both hands defensively beside her ears. "Marriage should include sex," she explained, dropping her hands. "And as much as I love you, Britt, there's no way in hell I'm staying celibate for the rest of my life."

Blue eyes rolled but there was a smile on Brittany's face and Santana grinned in response. She knew by that single expression that she'd totally got what she wanted.

"Fine, sex will be included," Brittany agreed and Santana pumped her fist into the air in celebration, earning a light giggle from her best friend. "You are such a dork."

"I'm gonna get in those panties," Santana sung in reply, still victorious as she reached over to tickle up Brittany's thigh teasingly until a pale hand came down and slapped it away. "Oh, you're into that," she said, purposely mistaking Brittany hitting her for something else. "Kinky," she winked, pulling back her hand and trying not to grin at the laughter filling her ears.

"Shut up, Santana," Brittany scolded, playfully. "This might not even happen," she said seriously, and Santana decided to completely ignore that.

"Well, I don't know about you Britt, but I'm gonna try a hell of a lot harder to stay single, now," she teased, throwing in a well aimed wink.

They both chuckled for a few minutes until tears filled their eyes and their stomach muscles were aching from all the laughter. When it died down they leaned back against the couch, tired by the past minutes and stared at each other, the seriousness of their pact settling in. Santana wasn't entire sure whether to bounce around the living room with excitement or question why the hell she wanted to do that in the first place. Sure, she would be getting married and it would mean she wouldn't have to be known as the crazy lady with twenty-seven lizards, but she'd also totally get to have sex with her smokin' hot best friend with legs and abs to die for.

Though she was sure that thought would make her freak out a little. People shouldn't want to have sex with their best friend.

"So," she cleared her throat and sat up straight, deciding to pass by her thoughts as she couldn't think of a good outcome of them. "This is a legitimate pact, yeah?"

Brittany nodded enthusiastically, biting her lip and Santana saw the happiness reflected in those blue eyes. Brittany was just as excited about this pact as she was. Awesome.

"As serious as a duck."

Dark eyebrows pinched together. "Britt, ducks aren't serious."

"Exactly."

There was no logic but Santana decided to ignore her best friend and stretch out her arm, offering her pinkie to finalize this pact of theirs. "Then secure your side with a pinkie swear and a repetition of the guidelines and we'll be all good."

A long, pale finger wound around her own and Santana didn't bother thinking about the tingles Brittany's touch always gave her. She'd thought long and hard about them before and it'd lead her nowhere but frustration.

"I swear that if I, Brittany Susan Pierce―" Brittany grinned and wiggled her hips. She was excited and it made Santana's stomach flip. "Am still single when I'm 28, with no attachment sexually or emotionally to anyone else, I will marry thee Santana Alma Lopez."

Santana grinned, and repeated her side, staring into crystal blue eyes the entire time. As the words left her mouth she couldn't help but think of the future, think of Brittany in a wedding gown and Brittany gazing at her in complete awe as she slid a golden band down the length of her finger in front of all their friends and family. It was comforting and exciting in a way she couldn't really describe, and it made her entire body fill with warmth and love andcrap, she really shouldn't have been thinking about that.

(Still, she did.)

"So, we have a deal?"

Santana bit down on her lip and didn't hesitate in responding with a smile, "We have a deal."

/

When she manages to shake herself out the memory, she comes back and her eyes settle on Brittany, who's staring at her with this infuriated blue eyes. She has no idea what happened between zoning out and now, but she supposes it's not good, if the other girl's expression is to go by.

"No, it's not convenient," Brittany hisses, eyes narrowing and Santana hears it back, noting how bad it sounds now. "He loves me and wants to marry me."

Still, the anger in Brittany's voice makes Santana's eyebrows lift because she's not used to her best friend talking to her like this. Sure, she's had it like, once before, but that was way back and Santana's not going to discuss that right now. But even thinking about that doesn't make her feel any better because she really was just trying to put an honest point across, yet somehow it came out offensive and fuck, Santana's a dipshit sometimes.

"Britt, I didn't mean it like―"

"Don't," the blonde interjects, lifting a hand and abruptly pushing off the sofa to stand. "Just don't, Santana," she finishes, shaking her head and clenching her jaw with one sharp look before she spins around.

And not trusting herself to say anything to help the situation, as she's already managed to fuck up a nice evening by opening her stupid fucking mouth, Santana just watches her best friend walk away into the kitchen.

/

The next morning, Santana wakes up early and decides to go for a run to rid her of this weirdness within her. She doesn't bother with a shower just yet, knowing she'll need one when she gets back and slips into her workout gear, doing a few lunges and stretches to wake up her body before she slips out into the apartment, keeping her head down.

The TV isn't on and the kitchen is still in tact, so she figures Brittany's not awake yet and her shoulders deflate a little. She was hoping to see her best friend before she went out to apologize about last night. This morning she woke up feeling like the biggest dick in the world. The alcohol got to her last night, and she knows that isn't an excuse, but she just came out with something that sounded like Jason proposing to Brittany wasn't legitimate. She said it and now Brittany's pissed and Santana just hates it when Brittany's pissed at her because it basically ruins her day. All she ends up thinking about is how she can apologize, how she can make it up to her best friend, and sheno matter how important what she's doing isjust loses all focuses and ends up fucking up the task in hand, too.

Though she supposes if Brittany's not up yet, then she's probably still in bed and Santana peers down the hallway to see Brittany's bedroom door still shut, full well knowing that that's a sign for don't come in. Plus that douche bag, Jason, is probably still in there and there's no way in hell Santana's going to let him yell at her for saying shit. If Brittany's told him about last night, that is.

So she decides to apologize later and grabs her iPod, headphones and keys before heading off for her morning run.

/

By the time she gets back to her building, it's almost 8am. She ran at least five miles this morning and her body is aching like a bitch. It feels like she did a mini-marathonshe supposes she kind of didand like, a million jumping jacks. Maybe a few hundred thousand lunges too and damn, what she wouldn't do to get into a warm bath and soak up all the bubbles.

And she supposes she can. Her shift at the bar isn't until tonight and she's only got to do a few errands, most of which she can actually do from the comfort of her own apartment

A groan escapes her lips as she thinks about what those errands are. The back of her head hits the elevator walland eyes close at the thought because all those 'bits and bobs' are to do with the wedding. She may not have written out a full list of what she has to do yet, but she knows the basics and might as well start writing up that list today as she'll have to do it at some point. Last night she did think about it, made a mental note of what she had to do through each section of months and she guesses that's kind of good enough, but wedding's do take a lot of planning and this isn't just anyone's wedding. It's Brittany's, and so she decides that starting sooner rather than later would be good.

Pushing those thoughts aside, she waits for the ding of the elevator before stepping out into the hallway and walking towards her apartment. She fumbles with her keys for a good thirty seconds before she finds the right one and unlocks her door, stumbling into the strong smell of burnt bacon that greets her. Her nose crinkles, body recoiling immediately and she rips her key from the lock, kicking the door shut with her foot as she wanders through the apartment, wondering what mess of Brittany's she's going to walk into this time. Although usually Brittany never burns things ― just forgets to add certain ingredients. Like the mince meat to the spaghetti Bolognese, or the dough base to the pizza.

(Santana still doesn't know how Brittany managed to do the last one.)

Still though, as Santana wanders through the apartment, she thinks about how strange this is. Brittany may not be Emeril Lagase, but she knows how to cook breakfast. She's been making Santana the most kickass pancakes, waffles and French toast since they first moved in together. If there's anything Brittany knows how to cook, it's breakfast.

"Britt?" She calls, throwing her keys down on to the kitchen counter as she walks in.

There's no-one in here but she guesses Brittany just popped off to find something or get changed. Brittany's like that and that would be a reasonable explanation as to why there's a burnt something in the stove. She flicks it off after approaching it, removing the pan and grimacing and groaning at the black bacon lying in the center of the plan. It's her bacon, but she doesn't mind too much because she's used to Brittany doing this every now and then, still she minds that it's going to be a bitch to get those burnt pieces of bacon stuck to the pan off. Even with a scourer pad, they're going to be fucking difficult to remove.

"You're burning the bacon!"

"Shit," a voice behind her says immediately, except it's decidedly not Brittany and Santana turns to find Jason walking in in nothing but boxers. Bile rises in the back of her throat at the same time her eyes roll. Can't the guy put on some damn clothes? "Is it completely burnt?"

Santana steps away from the pan after putting it down, folding her arms over her chest and scoffing loudly. "Looks like it," she says, rather shortly, eyes flicking to the hallway where he just appeared from. Usually Brittany pads in like, a few seconds afterward but nada. "Where's Britt?"

Jason eyes her for a few seconds but shrugs and walks toward the pan, picking it up and taking it to the garbage, instantly dumping the contents in. A perfectly shaped eyebrow lifts and Santana tilts her head angrily as she watches her bacon disappear inside the trash can. Before she was totally fine with Brittany eating it, but now it's Jason... Well, that's a whole other ball game.

And okay, maybe that's a little small and pathetic, but it's big enough that she can get pissed about it. This isn't the first time Jason's done that and really, it's beginning to fuck her off.

"Still in bed," he grumbles, scratching idly at his scalp. "You got anything else to eat?"

She lifts her brow further and watches Jason pad over to the fridge and throw it open, peering inside it whilst the hand not keeping the door open reaches down from his head to inside his boxers to arrange himself.

"Probably not," she replies, a little distant, scrunching her face in disgust. They both have the same bits and never once has she felt the need to check everything's still there. Men are just pigs. "But you know, you could always go home and have breakfast there," she suggests with a slight bite.

And Jason notices it, bringing his head back out the fridge to peer at her with narrowed eyes. "Who pissed in your corn flakes this morning?" He says, almost snarling at her and she rolls her eyes, knowing that getting into a fight with Brittany's boyfr―nofiancée after pissing Brittany off probably isn't best.

So she just rolls her eyes for the second time and mutters, "Fucking asshole," beneath her breath as she wanders back to her bedroom to shower.

She honestly doesn't know why the hell Brittany's with that guy.

/

Fifteen minutes later and she's out the shower, changed into track pants and a tank top and heading back to the kitchen for food, clutching on to the hope that maybe Jason discovered her blatant dislike for him (one that's recently soared) and has left the apartment.

Unfortunately, though, when she gets back to the kitchen, she's welcomed with the sight of Jason picking his nose as he sits at the kitchen counter, bent over a newspaper with a cup of steaming coffee beside it. It makes her stomach gurgle and she sort of wants to hurl, but knows that's inappropriate and instead heads for the cabinet above the stove, not focusing on it as she grabs a box of cereal.

She pours herself some and otherwise ignores Jason as she grabs the milk out the fridge and pours some in the bowl, sorting through one of the drawers for a spoon.

Though, as she turns around, bowl in hand, she knows that the kitchen counter is usually where she eats her breakfast and yeah, sure, Jason's there but she shouldn't change her routine for him, right? On the other hand, though, she really has no interest of being anywhere near the man, so the sofa's good.

Although that does lead to the thought that if Brittany is to wake up, and walk into the kitchen to find Jason at the table and Santana in the living room, she'd obviously see that there's a little tension between the two and it might upset her. And Santana really doesn't want that to happen, especially not now she has to apologize about last night, too.

Letting out a long sigh, she walks towards the kitchen counter and slides on to one of the stools to eat her breakfast, shifting as far away from Jason as possible without falling off the stool.

She just wants him to go home.

/

She's three mouthfuls in when Jason begins talking to her, and there's nothing that could've prepared her for what he was going to say.

"So, you and Britt, huh?"

Santana stills, spoon containing cereal and milk hovering in mid-air. Her eyes dart to him. "Excuse me?"

Jason sniffs loudly and leans back, wetting his lips. He looks serious and Santana feels a little uneasy with the way he's staring at her. "You and Britt," he parrots and she bites back a scathing remark about how she's not deaf, she heard that the first time but was questioning the statement itself. "You two dated, right?"

Okay, she wasn't exactly expecting that.

She pulls her head back herself, dropping her spoon to the bowl gently and tilts her head. This is something she and Jason have never discussed, and not because he doesn't know because she knows he does for sure; but it's dangerous territory. This could be a trick question, a method of Jason's to get some information out of Santana that he doesn't know yet and she narrows her eyes at him as she tries to figure out his reason behind asking this. Is he trying to start an argument? Since clearly this morning she wasn't taking his bait? Or is this one of those genuine questions where Brittany may have mentioned something, or made a comment, and now Jason wants to know more but doesn't know how to approach Brittany so he's approached Santana instead?

Sighing loudly, she figures that she'll never know until she asks; but she doesn't want to seem to interested in case Jason's clever enough (she doubts it) to realize that she doesn't want to talk about her and Brittany without Brittany present, and resumes eating her cereal again, breaking their eye contact and dropping it to the newspaper spread out across the counter in front of her bowl.

"Why are you even talking about this?" She asks, nonchalantly. Or what she hopes to be nonchalantly.

"No reason," Jason fires back immediately, settling down comfortably on the stool and flexing his arm muscles as he leans both forearms on to the counter, resting forward a little. "Now that she's going to be my girl forever, I wouldn't want any past feelings to suddenly pop up and... interfere."

It's said with a hiss and Santana snaps her head up, pausing mid-chew to look up at the guy, taking in his expression. The corners of his lips are curved up, almost in a smirk, and his eyes are narrowing like he's almost challenging her to bite back with something; yet she knows better than that. Though as she stares at him, further trying to figure out what the hell's going on, a certain thought seeps into her mind and she hates herself instantly for it. First of all she bitches out at Brittany last night, telling her how convenient Jason proposing is and questioning the legitimacy of it, and now she's considering that Jason proposing was purely him marking his territory.

God. Santana's such a bitch. Jason loves Brittany. That's why he proposed.

...Right?

"We didn't date, exactly," she replies, lowering her spoon again and crossing her arms. Saying this stings but she hopes it doesn't show. She doesn't even know why the hell it stings. It's just the truth. "We just got close," she explains, shrugging a little. "Very quickly."

Jason narrows his eyes further, leaning further on to the counter top and closer to Santana. It's unsettling and Santana wants to lean back, to just get up and say how pointless this is but it feels like he's asking her something. Digging for information and she doesn't want him to go back to Brittany and say that Santana refused to answer his questions, making him suspicious. That would only cause more crap for Santana and Brittany and really, she's just not down with that.

"How quickly?"

Santana runs her tongue along her teeth as she stares at him. There's really no need for him to be asking this, because as much as she kind of maybe dislikes the idea of Brittany getting married to this guy, the undeniable fact is that Brittany is marrying this guy, that this guy is going to have Brittany for the rest of his life and that things are never going to be the same again.

And she really does go to say that. It's right there, balancing on the tip of her tongue, but she finds a whole other batch of words pouring out before the intended ones can. "Why don't you just ask Brittany if you're that curious?"

Jason's eyes flick to her, the corners of them crinkling as he glares. "It doesn't seem appropriate," he tells her, lifting a shoulder like that should be obvious.

"What? And asking me is?" She spits back, crooking an eyebrow at him because she knows she's totally got this one in the bag.

And she knows he knows it to because his face contorts with anger, his eyes narrowing into an intense glare and mouth popping open to respond but at that moment, footsteps echo through the apartment and seconds later, Brittany's standing in the archway to the kitchen in small shorts and an even smaller shirt that rides up to show half of her midriff. And instantly, Santana's mouth goes dry but she forces herself to look away, knowing that whilst yeah, Brittany's so obviously smoking hot that a blind person would be able to sense it, she just can't look at her like that.

They're just friends.

They agreed on just being friends back when... well, just back when, and the last thing 'just friends' do is get all hot, bothered and well, honestly, stiff over each other.

(And she may have done in the past over Brittany.

Sure, it wasn't okay back then but it was better than now.

Like, for fuck sake, Brittany's fiancée is like, right there.

If Santana got a boner that'd just be... She just can't get one, okay?)

So instead of focusing on anything tall, blonde and incredibly sexy, she looks back down to her bowl of cereal and stares at it intently until she no longer has to pinch her thighs together. Then she glances up, and by the time she does, she realizes how much she wishes she hadn't because Brittany's cupping Jason's jaw, twisting his head and kissing him lightly on the lips, smiling against his mouth as his big, clumsy hands grab messily at her hips, pulling her forward to deepen the kiss.

And it's not like Santana's jealous or anything.

It's just that she doesn't really feel like seeing anyone kiss in the morning; especially not some jackass like Jason over there with someone as perfect as Brittany on the receiving end. Like, shit, seeing Puckerman kiss someone would probably be more appealing than seeing that and that's definitely saying something.

She drops her eyesight again to her bowl and finishes up the last few mouthfuls, pointedly ignoring the couple whispering cute shit to each other across the kitchen island and putting all her thought into not feeling that weird curdling tingle in her stomach.

That'll only bring up things she forced back, locked away in a box in the back of her chest.

And she just won't do that.

/

Jason leaves a few hours later, and by this time, Santana's in her bedroom, on the middle of her bed with papers lying out beside her and her laptop open in front of her.

The only reason she knows that douche is gone is because ten minutes ago, she moved all her crap into her bedroom because Jason decided to jiggle around on the sofa and turn up the volume of whatever stupid fucking sport he was watching so loud, she couldn't even hear herself think. Brittany was back in her bedroom on the phone to Quinn, too busy discussing whatever the hell they talk about, and so instead of trying to ask Jason kindly and giving him the satisfaction of rejecting her and pissing her off even more, she just picked up her stuff and moved. Only moments later Jason's voice boomed through the apartment yelling for Brittany and Brittany ran to him like she was an obedient puppy.

(Santana will never understand that.)

It went quiet and Santana took her headphones out long enough to hear Brittany's heavenly giggle and a small "Jason, stop it! Santana's right in there!" which made her stomach turn and head pound, and she knew they were saying goodbye because Brittany followed it with a small "I love you" that made its way through Santana's chest, curled around her lungs and squeezed until she choked forward, almost head butting her laptop.

So, anyway, that happened and now she's in her bedroom, looking over all these papers and trying to ignore the fact that she still hasn't talked to Brittany since last, still hasn't apologized and still feels shitty about it. But apart from that, she's managed to recite and write down her mental list of what needed to be done for this wedding and so far she's split it into a nine sections, all outlining the months and what she needs to do within those time periods.

She's going off the time span of what most wedding's take to plan and that's around nine to twelve months. Knowing Brittany, and knowing her own schedule and thoughts in her mind that she refuses to go into, she's leaning more toward a year than anything less. That's a good amount of time to sort everything out, book the right venue, find the right dress and get everyone's wedding invites out in time.

Santana's got this. She's been training for something like this for a while now and this is just practice. Pretty big for practice, but practice none-the-less.

She's halfway through determining a set budget and how expenses will be shared when there's a knock on her door. Setting down the papers in hand, she nudges her glasses up her nose―she needs them for reading, okay?―and looks up just in time to see Brittany lean against the door, rub a hand over her elbow and shift awkwardly in her spot, blue eyes flickering around the room and purposely looking at everything that isn't Santana.

And it hurts to see her like this, but they've had little arguments in the past and this is just like those, so they'll be able to get over it. This isn't even really an argument, just Santana being an ass. It's always Santana being an ass.

So she clears her throat and sits up a little straighter, beckoning Brittany in with one hand whilst the other tugs at the chords of her headphones to pull them from her ears.

"Hey," she says, softly.

"Hi," the other girl whispers, walking into the room and taking a seat to Santana's right.

It's quiet for a moment, Santana looking down at the papers and Brittany chewing on her lip, but then Santana figures she should probably speak and apologize because this whole weirdness was created because of what she said. And sure, talking to Jason earlier didn't exactly change her mind about the whole convenience thing, but she doesn't need to tell Brittany that. Her thoughts are stupid and just that, thoughts. Silly ideas that she's conjured up for some odd reasons that she will never really know of.

Okay. She's getting a bit off track here.

Right, the apology.

"I'm sorry."

Blue eyes dart up and meet brown. "What?"

Santana licks her lips and swallows, creating a pause. "I said, I'm sorry," she repeats, a little lower this time. She's not one for apologizing and she thinks by the look on Brittany's face, the blonde knows that.

"For what?"

That didn't make it any easier. "For saying... what I did... You know, yesterday," she continues, lifting a shoulder and biting her lip. "I shouldn't have. I didn't know what I was talking about."

Brittany reaches across the space between them to grab her hand, their skin sliding against each other. "It's fine, San. I knew what you meant, anyway," she tells her and dark eyebrows shoot up.

"What?"

"I thought that..." Brittany trails off, her brows scrunching together in the middle of her head, eyes lost in thought. "That did run through my mind when he asked," she shrugs, peering back into brown eyes. "Just because it's been so soon since we had that conversation and I just..." Brittany pauses and takes in a deep breath, poking her tongue out to wet pink lips as she shuffles further on to the bed, eyes focused on not crushing any of the papers covering the bed. "You don't think―I mean, you don't think he would?" Her eyes flicker up again. "Do you?"

And Santana pauses.

She knows that Brittany's asking her to tell the truth her. She knows that this would be an opportune moment to tell Brittany the hesitations she's having due to what Jason said earlier, but then again why should she say it? There's no reason why Santana having second thoughts about Jason should even be considered in this because whatever happens, Santana's opinion is going to be biased considering what's happened between them in the past.

But then again, why would Brittany ask her that unless Brittany wanted to know Santana's opinion?

It's a challenge, and Santana can see it in blue eyes because she's always been able to see everything. Somewhere deep inside of her, she knows that this is the part where she's supposed to tell Brittany that Jason was all suspicious and inquisitive about her and Santana's past. This is the part where she's supposed to tell Brittany how much of a jackass Jason is and that she doesn't actually have any evidence, bar this morning's conversation and her own suspicions, but she's sure that there's more behind Jason's proposal than he's making out, but she can't say it.

She's ready to. She's preparing the words in her mind, but as she goes to say them, she can't bring herself to do it.

Because this isn't just a stupid little thing that she can ruin. She's done that before, back in high school when she ruined Quinn's relationship with Sam because she didn't like it, and she doesn't want to do it again. Splitting two people up just because of her concerns is pure selfishness, and she loves Brittany. She's her best friend and she can't just say all of this and upset Brittany further because this is a serious matter. This is the rest of Brittany's life that Santana would be commenting on, and shit, she doesn't even know that if she did answer honestly and spill everything, that Brittany wouldn't just get pissed again, they'd fall out and Santana would have to hear about the special day through a blunt text in months to come.

Brittany and Jason aren't just a short thing where they've known each other for a few months and are tying the knot; they've been together for going on three years and are finally concreting their relationship by getting married. And that leads her to the conclusion that maybe Jason didn't mean anything by their conversation earlier. It could've just been bad timing, or Santana getting suspicious because she always thinks people have a motive behind their actions and words. It could all just be convenient, and there's really no point in saying anything and running the risk of screwing it up for Jason and Brittany's relationship, or Brittany and Santana's friendship just because Santana has her own personal insecurities about the guy.

She doesn't know anything. Not about herself, about how she feels, or Jason, or Jason and Brittany together, and so she knows she shouldn't say anything.

Which is why she takes a deep breath and then answers, "No, Britt. I don't think he would."

Something heavy weighs down on her chest as the words leave her mouth, and there's still that little thing in the back of her mind clucking its tongue. Stupid fucking conscience.

The atmosphere shifts immediately, from awkward and tense to bright and happy (on Brittany's side) and the blonde's face lights up, her body bouncing slightly as she hears the confirmation of happiness from someone else. Her hand clutches a little tighter to Santana's, and Santana tries not to focus on the way her stomach turns as a strum of guilt pangs through her.

"You think he really wants to marry me?"

The corners of Santana's lips curve up and she nods slowly, the smile faltering a little as a thickness coats her throat. "Yeah. He wants to marry you," she nods again and swallows, struggling against the weight of her words as they press down on her windpipe.

And honestly, when Brittany begins bouncing excitedly, her face glowing with excitement and happiness, Santana figures that she said the right thing because Brittany's happy.

That's all that matters.

/

This chapter is unbeta'd by my beta and by myself so my bad for any spelling errors, grammatical errors or just errors in general.