Hello!

I'm sorry that it took longer to get this chapter out, but I had a Han-Buckley Christmas story that just needed to get out. So, if you are interested, please go read it. I would love the love.

I enjoyed writing this chapter, and I hope you do as well! A 9k gift for you! Please let me know what you think! Reviews make my day.

Also, I have a tumblr account if you want to follow- Kiragirl17

Here you go, Buck's first official day at 51! Warning, this is unbeted, so all errors are on me.


Chapter 11:

Floater no longer


For the most part, Matt Casey enjoys living with Kelly Severide, especially when you need a friend after a stressful day on the job, but right now, he wants to drop this so-called best friend off a high cliff. Okay, not a high cliff, but he'll settle for either a small hill overlooking a mud puddle or locking him in a freeze until Kelly calms down. After learning about Buckley's permanent placement at firehouse 51, Kelly is filled with questions. Questions that Matt can't-won't answer, questions only Buckley has the authority to answer. "Stop looking at me like that." Matt grunts, as he sips his water. With a client consultation at 2pm, he simply wants to take a nap before he has to deal with a picky client who wants things that aren't feasible.

"What happened in there?" Kelly asks, barely two steps behind him. There's a scrawl on his face. "It looked tense."

Matt's eyes flicker up, meeting Kelly's for a second. "It was tense."

Kelly grinds his teeth together, his shoulders tense and heavy. Glowering, a thick silence falls, as he goes quiet for a minute, his focus on Matt's face. "You aren't going to tell me?" he accuses harshly, as his eyes drill into Casey's cheek.

Letting out a rough sigh, Matt turns and meets his best friend's intense stare. "Listen. Buckley's story is Buckley's story." While he's grateful he knows it, it feels like a betrayal in a sense, especially considering Buckley's two panic attacks. After Boden recounted everything that the LA Chief told him, Casey didn't know what to think, everything he knew about Buckley flashed through his head. Suddenly, Buckley's insistence on being a permanent Floater makes sense, scared—No, petrified that someone would find out about his lawsuit and treat him cruelly. There's no doubt in Matt's mind that his old house fucked him up, even if he doesn't know how.

"So, there's a story." Kelly states.

"Everyone has a story, Kelly." Matt shots back, resisting the urge to roll his eye. "So, the question is: do you want Buckley to tell you, or do you want me to tell you? If Buckley wants you to know, he'll tell you." Matt is never going to tell Kelly Buckley's story, but he offers this as it is a good question for Kelly to ponder. "Do you want me to betray his trust?"

Kelly rears back, his face goes blank. "What?! No."

"Well, there you go." Matt says, tipping his glass at Kelly before taking another drink. At hearing Buckley's story- his panic attack solidifying his choice-, he brought up the idea of having Buckley placed at 51. While Matt likes to think his fellow Captains won't hold the lawsuit against the floater, he can't be sure. Lawsuits make everyone crazy, but he knows he won't. He knows Buckle will get a fair shot under him, and besides, Buckley, from all reports, is a damn good firefighter. Boden, at first, was a bit skeptical, but it didn't take much convincing, the chief ¾ there already.

"I just…" Kelly's tongue is dry, his mouth suddenly parched.

Matt takes a deep breath, watching Kelly fall into a tiny freak out. Even though he's worried about his best friend, he has to admit that it's adorable to watch how frustrated Kelly gets over Buckley. At first, it threw Matt through a loop as Buckley is a guy, and from his knowledge, Kelly has never shown any interest in men, but everything clicks: the hungry stares, the rushing to Buckley's defense, how flushed he gets, etc. Matt can't help but laugh at it all, because man, Kelly has it bad. And if he is already this protective, Matt hates to see what will happen if this—whatever this is—progresses. "I get it, but there's only one thing we need to do: show Buckley the 51 way. I'm sure once he feels comfortable, he'll open up. He just needs time." He grasps Kelly by the shoulder and squeezes as he walks pass him.

Kelly mumbles under his breath, his words nothing more than cranky grumbles under his breath. Clearing his throat, he goes, "Yea, I know."

"Then focus on that." Matt doesn't say anything else and heads to his bedroom for a well deserve nap.


*O*O*


Matt doesn't hold any belief that Buckley—or Buck if he goes by what Kelly calls him, which rolls off the tongue for the grinning lieutenant—will show up at Molly's when Matt offers a drink in celebration, but he offers nonetheless over their handshake. He doesn't mention this invitation to Kelly, as he seriously doubts the Ex-Floater will show up, having skipped out on a few invitations. Nevertheless, Matt can't say he isn't hopeful just a tiny bit that Buckley will show up for him unlike everyone. Though he loves Herrmann, there're times that he overwhelms even Matt, and Herrmann's over energetic invite might've been too much, while Matt's is seen as a friendly gesture.

Not telling Kelly is strategic as Matt doesn't—can't really- want to watch his best friend stare like a sad puppy at the red door, waiting for someone who may not show up. The melancholy, gloomy expression would just crush Matt. Right now, Kelly seems to be in better spirits when Matt takes a sit next to him, and Matt wants it to stay that way. "Just give me whatever," he waves at Kidd as he takes a seat next to Kelly.

Peeping at Matt from the corner of his eyes, Kelly laughs into his beer. "You better be careful. She might give you something disgusting." The Lieutenant, shockingly, is much better mood than he has been in days.

"Molly doesn't have disgusting beer!" Herrmann yells at them from down the bar, not even looking up from a pile of receipts in front of him. Today being a weekday, the bar is not crowded, not that a filled Bar would silent Herrmann.

"Only the best!" Mouch adds, lifting his glass

Kidd shakes her head and grins, "Even if we did, I would not do my captain wrong. That's just stupid."

Moving only his eyes, Matt watches Stella reaches for his beer of choice. While he has said whatever, she knows her captain well enough to know what he wants. "You appear to be in a better mood." He mentions to Kelly, shifting just enough to get Kelly into his peripheral.

Kelly rolls his eyes. "You make it sound like I was the Grinch."

"Because you were," Kidd interjects loudly, as she slides Matt's beer in front of him, scrapping the wood lightly. "I think the entire house can agree with that."

"I was not." Kelly protests halfheartedly.

Matt twists in his seat, the chair squeaking, and shots Kelly a cynical look. "I don't know about that. You were totally grumpy."

"I was-" It's at this point that Herrmann stirs, puts down the calculator and steps into their loud conversation. "What is Severide hopelessly denying?" he asks, a tingle in his eyes as he winks at Kelly.

"About how cranky he has been for the last few shifts." Stella tease.

Kelly lets out a harsh huff. "This is just my face. Not my fault I was born this way." The smile drops from his face as he points to his now frown.

"Sorry, Buddy, but you were as cantankerous as a toddler when they don't get something they want." Herrmann drifts off as if he's recalling a specific memory. A shiver runs down his entire body. "Trust me I know."

No one in the group will or can deny that statement; however, Kelly is not amused by the comparison. "I can't win, can I? Can't be happy without the 20 questions and If I'm not happy—still deny being grumpy-, I get the third degree."

"What are we grilling Severide on?" Sylvie Brett innocently asks, as she suddenly appears next to Matt in all smiles.

Matt's chest gets uncomfortable light when she turns her blinding smile on him. "Him being Mr. Grumpy pants," he says, unevenly, as he points at his best friend with his head.

"Why am I protesting? It's pointless." Kelly hums, while he gives Matt a knowing look. Just like Kelly's crush on Buckley is painfully obvious, the same can be said about Matt and Sylvie.

Sylvie ducks beneath Matt's arm to get a good view of the playfully over the top frown on Kelly's face. While Matt is aware of her concern regarding Buckley and Kelly, he's always stunned by the penetrating stare she has been giving him. "Is there a reason why Severide no longer grumpy?"

Just like that, all eyes turn and drill into Kelly, who, in turns, fights to keep the red from bleeding into his cheeks. Matt knows his friend well enough to know that he won't answer, considering that would betray his true feeling. While the realization is slowly dawning on Kelly, saying this change in his mood is due to Buck joining the firehouse will be too much for him right now. However, there's nothing stopping Matt from saying it, not that Kelly's head still won't explode. "Evan Buckley is joining firehouse 51 permanently." As Casey expected, Kelly goes a few different shades of red as he refuses to meet any probing stare.

A second beats by before a large Chester Cat grin blossoms on Stella's face. "Oh, really?" She exclaims, a bit too loudly and over the top.

"On…Squad 3?" Herrmann asks, deliberately slow, as if he expects someone to jump in and correct him.

"No," Matt answers. "On Truck 81 under me."

"Oh, really!" Stella exclaims again, sporting one of the biggest grins that Matt has seen on her. Matt would be shaking in his boots if that smile points at him, but her focus is on solely on Kelly.

However, Matt barely resists the urge to laugh when he spots a shiver run up Kelly's spine. On the other hand, Herrmann, whose eyes are scrunched up in confusion, is not smiling and draws his attention with, his words dripping in bewilderment, "I wasn't aware that there was a sport open on Truck."

"There wasn't, but technically, we never filled your spot when you moved over to Engine." Matt isn't sure why they never filled Herrmann's position, Boden not really answering when asked; however, Matt prefers a 5-man team, as it means everyone can pair up and still have someone on the aerial. Plus, it gives him some padding if someone calls out.

"And Buckley agreed? Everything I hear is that he isn't looking for a house." Herrmann replies.

Kelly shifts uncomfortably in his chair before leaning forward. "Maybe, he was looking for the right fit." He challenges, his eyes narrow in fine points.

Shaking his head, Matt exhales. "Whatever the case, he's now a part of 51, which makes him family." He says as he lifts his beer and points it Herrmann. "Let's show him what that means."

"Second, that." Sylvie smiles as she rises her own beer.

Stella is all grins, reaching for her own glass, which is filled with water, to raise. From time to time, she drinks alongside them while behind the bar, but for the most part, she doesn't drink. While Herrmann isn't as strict as other bar owners, getting drunk on job isn't wise. "Hell yea. I third that." She winks at Kelly, whose right eye just twitches. He doesn't say a word, simply rising his own beer.

Matt gives Herrmann a prodding look, the man not raising his own drink, but Herrmann's grunt is enough of an answer. "Of course," the Lieutenant waves off, "he's family. He's been family since he pushed me out of the way of that speeding car."

"And he makes a mean Mac & Cheese," Mouch interjects, suddenly popping up on the other side of Kelly, which surprises the shit out the squad Lieutenant.

"Jesus," Kelly yells, putting down his drink and grabbing at his chest. His heart pounds. "When did you become a ninja?"

Rolling his eyes, Herrmann shakes his head. "Is food all you think about?"

"Yes, that was Mac & Cheese was mouthwatering." Mouch answers.

"He isn't wrong," Stella agrees, her head bobbing back and forth between the two. "I wonder what other yummy food Buckley has in his arsenal."

"Well, his eggs are pretty good, nice and fluffy," Kelly mindlessly adds.

Once again, all eyes are on Kelly, who's face is slowly turning bright red as he realizes what he said. "Wait," Stella starts, slowly. "How would you know? And why didn't I get any?" Kelly nervously gulps as he brings his beer to his lips, and without hesitation, he just downs it.


*O*O*


It has been a day since his conversation with Casey and Boden, but Buck's head is still spinning. The numbing lightness in his chest is still there, and his mind is in a state of continually shock, forcing him to constantly remind himself. How do neither Boden nor Casey care about the lawsuit? How? It makes everything that the 118 did worse. Yea, but you told your lawyers their biggest secrets. His mind injects and—No! No. No. Biggest secrets? What a joke! Everything Buck told his lawyers is easily looked up, the 118's "secrets" well documented.

Buck lets out an annoyed huff as he refocuses his attention on the row of tortillas. How many kinds of tortillas are there? No really! He has spent all morning going from grocery story to grocery story before he steps into this authentic Mexican store, trying to find all of the right ingredients for Abuela's famous chilaquiles recipe. When Isabel Diaz passed the famous recipe down to him, no one thought he would've ended up here, shunned by his family, but no matter the current events, it was passed down to him with love, and Buck feels that love every time he makes it, nostalgia rushing through him like no other.

Buck doesn't make these chilaquiles for everyone, just his family. Abuela likes to joke that Eddie is useless the kitchen and this is the only way Eddie will get her famous chilaquiles as she refuses to cook them for him anymore. At the time, Buck laughed it off, but looking back, he can't help but awkwardly and stiffly laugh at it. Was Isabel trying to set him up? How did he miss that? No! Buck stops that train of thought knowing as it's water under the bridge now. Eddie and he are no longer possible, and that's even if the man falls to his knees in front of him with tears down his face, begging for forgiveness. There's no forgetting how little Eddie made him feel. How inconsequential he is. Eddie and the 118 may come back into his life and look at him lovingly, but there'll always being that dread hanging over him like a guillotine. Even now, it makes him itchy thinking about it.

Besides, there's Kelly Severide and his muscles.

His thoughts turning on him—dirty-, Buck goes bright red in the tortillas row. Yes, in the grant scheme of everything, he doesn't know Severide well enough to fall this hard, but having spent several 24 hour shifts with the man, it isn't hard to understand why. He's a kickass lieutenant, who treats everyone with respect—unless they don't deserve it. Severide isn't scared to show his true feelings; plus, he has this confidence about him that can soothe everyone, no matter their panic level. There's something intensely hot about that. And that smile of his doesn't hurt. God, Buck melts into a puddle any time Severide looks in his direction with it. Just fucken melts.

Granted, any smile from the 51 can do that to a lesser degree, though for other reasons. While he takes them all with a grain of salt (Besides Casey's), he feels human under their stares, which honestly just feels amazing after being an unwanted interloper for months. It doesn't take much pondering to figure out that's why he has been running all over the city looking for Ingredients: he wants to make a good impression and show how grateful he is to be part of the 51 family. Sure, he is scared of objection—the lawsuit still hanging over his head—but he's excited.

Unable to still the jitters in his hands, he grabs a package of tortillas and heads to the cashier.


*O*O*


To save time cooking and to lessen the consequences of getting a call mid cook, Buck did the prep-cook the day before, which takes longer than expected due to the amount of food. "Going a bit far," Buck mumbles to him as he packs up everything into the back of his jeep. It takes a few trips, his arms loaded down with bags, but his favorite teenage resident helps him tread everything down, though he does this while talking his ear off. While Buck has been out and about, it's nice just to have someone talk to him, even it is a mess.

God, Buckley! What a pathetic lonely mess. Stop being so clingy. Go get laid already and get over it.

Buck's grip tightens on his stirring wheel, he forever on guard against his Buck 1.0 days. With a deep breath, he focuses his attention on the road and his new house. It doesn't take long for his worry and anxiety to get swept away by his excitement of having a house. It hits him hard how much he wants this, his heart beating under inch of his skin, and nothing can compete with that excitement, which bubbles up from deep within him. There's a skip in his step, which he can feel right down to his toes.

By the time he pulls up to the fire station and finds a parking space, Buck's nerves are hopping. The sun feels like fire on his skin as he opens the door to the jeep and steps out. Leaving his apartment early, he's not in any rush and he just stares at the old red bricks. Familiar nerves flare up inside of him, and he feels like a probie—or Candidate in Chicago-, walking into a firehouse for the first time. While nothing can dull his excitement, the oddball apprehension in his veins is unsettling and knocks him off center. Why is he nervous? It isn't like he hasn't worked with these men before and hasn't received their respect.

Minutes tick by as Buck just stares at the building, whispering words of encouragement into his own ear. "You got this, Buckley," he tells himself. "You got this. Where's the man who survived a fucken Tsunami?" Those memories aren't welcomed in his head, but when he allows himself to gloat, he can mention it without a chill running down his spine. How many people can say that they survived a tsunami? Well, quite a few in LA, but how many can say they survive a Tsunami while saving over 20 people? That's right, only him. Because he is awesome. "I got this."

However, there's a flaw in Buck's plan, which becomes obvious when he opens the hatch of his jeep. If he didn't have to deal with his turnout gear—this being the last time he'll have to carry it in—, it wouldn't be a problem, and he could make it in one trip. No, he would make it in one trip. Two trips are for losers. Buck is not a loser. He internally chuckles at that as he can already envisions himself juggling everything, his arms loaded up with bags. Biting at his bottom lip, he starts to pile on his gear.

Though, it doesn't take long before he suffers his first misstep, as he fumbles his helmet rather comically. With his left hand full of stuff, he only has his right hand to reach for falling helmet, which bounces off his hand like a bouncy ball and slams the ground hard. It takes a rolling tumble for a few feet before a pair of legs stop it. "Um, sorry." He utters, going pink, as his eyes drift up the legs from his helmet.

"Need help, Buckley?" Casey asks.

Buck's face changes to several shades of red as he lays eyes on Casey's grinning face. "Um, hi, Captain Casey." He shifts uncomfortably under Casey's fond eyes. While there's no heat in his stare, Buck doesn't know how to act in front the captain now that he knows the truth. Casey may say he doesn't care, but Buck's mind can't wrap itself around it. "Um, sure."

"And you can drop the captain part." Casey smiles as he reaches down for Buckley's helmet. "Capp will get mad and be super worried that everyone will get confused. The horror." He explains, noticing Buck's confused face. "He made a strict rule about it."

"Really?"

Casey flips the helmet a few times before he sets it down Buck's head. "You'll learn that this entire house is filled of goofballs." He peeps into the jeep, silently counting the bags in the back. "What you have there?"

Buck, still a bright red, looks up, his eyes resting on the helmet's lip. Why didn't he think about putting it on his head? "Um… I…wanted to do something…um…nice for the house."

Casey nods. "One's way to a firefighter's heart is through their stomach, though you're already half way there with that Mac & Cheese," he teases as he reaches into Buck's Jeep grabbing some of the packages.

Buck's mind zooms off in five different directions as he doesn't know how to take that. At one point, they must've been talking about him for Casey to make that statement, which twists uncomfortably his stomach, but on the other, there's a smile on Casey's face. Fuck, he hints at them loving him over it, and stomach somersaults over that. "I enjoy cooking."

Beside for a bag or two (not counting Buck's gear), Casey grabs what he can, balancing a throw away tray between his arms. "Don't let anyone hear you say that. They will hound you forever."

Is it wrong that Buck doesn't mind that? Near the end, he wasn't included in 'family' dinners, and being it cooking or just eating, he is included, which means everything. "Doesn't sound too bad." Buck shrugs as he closes the back hatch with his elbow. In unison, they start up the driveway.

"You say that now, but these guys are brats." Casey side eyes Buck, watching the small chuckle that passes across his lips. He doesn't say anything until Buck's laugh dies and silence falls. "About the lawsuit."

Buck freezes, his eyes wide. He felt lucky, human, that Captain Casey, hasn't mentioned it, and he has been extremely grateful for it. Now, the sky is falling, large sharp shards falling on him. "Is…Did—I…"

Realizing his mistake, Casey rises his arms—or he attempts to before he remembers his arms are fill. "Take a breath, Buckley." He pauses to give Buck a moment. "I was—am merely stating that only Boden and I know about the lawsuit, and it will remain like that, unless you feel the need to tell someone." His eyes drop to Buck's Adam apple, watching him thickly shallow.

"Okay. Thanks." Buck's shoulders relaxes and the tension, the unbearable heat, in his chest disappears. He held no belief that Casey and Boden would've told the firehouse, but it's nice to hear it.

"And oh, Severide won't treat you any difference if you tell him. In fact, he might understand more than most."

Buck's heart is in his mouth, Casey's words hitting him over the head. "I…Um…" He deeply breathes. "What?"

Casey stares at him, his eyes in narrow slits. "Or was I wrong?" He tilts his head to the side, eyeing the small twitch in Buck's right eye. "Do I need have a conversation with Severide? Him making you uncomfortable?"

"Y-you think…" If Buck has to label what he's feeling… well, okay, Severide makes him uncomfortable, though not in the way that Casey thinks. "No, he's fine." He chirps unevenly, fighting back the deep red working up his neck. "I'm just…um…a little nervous. You know… the lawsuit."

"Again, no one will know unless you want them to, but know, no one in this firehouse will judge you."

Buck exhales deeply, as his eyes waft up the driveway to the hanger. He spots a few firefighters, a few passing glances on them, but none stay for long. Casey may say it, and Buck wants to believe him, but he can't pull that trigger, not yet. "I…um…okay." He fumbles.

Casey just smiles. "Let's get you settled in."


*O*O*


"What is this?" Herrmann asks as Buck—minus his turnout gear—and Casey step into the kitchen/common room with their arms full of bags.

"Buckley decided to treat us on his first day," Casey answers, setting the bags in his hand on the countertop.

Mouch twists on the sofa, resting an arm on the back, and goes, "Oh really? Yup, I think you'll fit in just fine here. Glad to have you here."

Letting out a soft huff, Casey rolls his eyes and pat Buck on the shoulder. "See just give Mouch food and he's happy."

"Give any of us food and we're happy here." Herrmann challenges. "Not that hard."

"Wait, is Buckley joining 51?" Gallo asks, as he and Ritter abruptly halt in their spot and makes a wonky circle to step into the room.

Casey glances back at Buckley, checking nonverbally with him, for a second before he answers Gallo. "Yes, the new member of truck 81."

"That's awesome," Gallo exclaims loudly.

"Yes, welcome to the team." Ritter adds, equally as happy. "Maybe, you can help me reign in this idiot." He jabbers Gallo in the shoulder, which earns a "Hey!" from the man. Ritter is unbothered by Gallo's outburst and grin, "I think everyone in this fire house can agree you're a bit riskless."

"Within reason!" Gallo points in his finger in the air in protest.

Casey rolls his eyes, but he doesn't respond, his eyes on Buckley. "You regretting your decision yet?" he teases.

Buck hasn't said a single word, but he's enjoying the odd banter in this room and the amazing aura that fills the air. He can say the 51's reputation isn't a lie, and while he feels like a bag of jellies, he's not regretting his choice, that haunting loneliness lessening with each word. "Maybe just a tad bit," he laughs.

"Ouch, Buckley," Mouch robs at his chest, pretending to be hurt. "Ouch."

"So, what are you making?" Herrmann shaking his head at Mouch's overdramatics.

Rubbing at his nose, Buck sheepishly answers, "A take on chilaquiles." It isn't the traditional take, following Abuela special recipe. There're so many variations on this dish, not one dish is alike.

"A bold choice." Kidd walks in, her eyes automatically going to him.

Buck and Stella haven't had many one-on-one conversions, but her warm smile is always welcome. He meets her eyes and just grins. He's a bit stun by how opened and friendly everyone is, which just wows him, and while he can hide behind the fact that they don't know about the lawsuit, Casey knows, and Casey is all smiles. "Don't worry. I was adopted by a Mexican Grandma."

That gets a few heads to turn. "I didn't know you were adopted." Gallo speaks, his eyes large.

"No, I'm not…" Buck pauses, noticing a few confused looks. How does he explain that his ex-best friend's grandma loved him more than her own grandson (No, no he kids- or is he) and explain that he is now her favorite grandson? Christopher laughs every time Isabel says it. Thanks to bartending in Peru, he knows some Spanish—not fluent though he can get around-, but Isabel's mutterings under her breath are just that to him. He's pretty sure she was shaking her head at him.

Kidd breaks out laughing. "Sounds like my Abuela, just dubbing and claiming all lost souls she can find."

"Is that a Latino thing?" Mouch ask, his eyebrow in his hairline

"No, that's a grandmother thing," Herrmann answers.

"Latinos Grandmothers just do it better and they stuff you more, leaving you unable to eat or move for days." Kidd adds. She glances up at the bags Buck has brought in, recognizing the store.

There's no denying that. Whenever he went over Isabel, she hadn't let him leave the table without 3 helpings, though Buck doesn't complain. He is a big guy, who can eat; plus, her food is always amazing, and his heart aches just thinking about how he may never eat her food again. It is a culture experience with her. "She—"

The alarm picks that moment to ring, sending everything running for the trucks. Running to truck 81, Buck gets a small glance of Kelly Severide, the determination on his face breathtaking. Buck spends the few minutes to the block that image from his head as he prepares himself for a fire. He can't let Severide distract him.


*O*O*


Captain Matt Casey is something else, and Buck spends the first few calls trying to figure him out. There're times that Buck sees Bobby in Casey, the strong, knowledgeable Captain who knows exactly what to do, but there're times where Casey is nothing like him, especially when Casey and Severide bounce ideas off each other. The trust between these two friends is obvious (not that it has ever been unclear to Buck). Overall, the more he follows Casey—who wants Buck to shadow him for the day—the more he likes the captain. Casey, who is considered a younger captain, is quite experienced, and when he has to be, harsh and firm.

Buck sees that first hand on their third call: a gas leak in a small apartment. He makes the harsh but correct call and keeps everyone back, the levels too high. They've been unable to confirm if all the residents are counted for, but going back in is too risky, the building going up at any moment. Gallo still pushes to go in, and honestly, Buck is right behind him, though he backs down the second Casey shake his head. Buck's not there yet: arguing with his captain. On the other hand, Gallo, who tries to argue his point, needs more than a shake of the head, and tries to go in. Nevertheless, Casey stands firm, and this point is affirmed when the building blows, throwing everyone to the ground.

And yet, while Casey is firm and unbending in his decision, he's also empathetic. He checks in with his crew, both mentally and physically, and just reconfirms his stance, which no one disagrees with now. Gallo deflates, but he's smiles seconds later when Casey makes a silly dad joke. "I could tell you guys a joke about pizza, but it's a little cheesy." It gets a few drama eyes rolls.

Buck, his eyes studying the captain's profile, is sure that if Casey wanted to be mean, to rip into his crew to pieces, he could without breaking a sweat. The very idea of a pissed off Casey sends a shiver down his back, and he quickly pushes that thought out of his head. If he isn't ready to stand up to a mere look, Buck totally not ready for an angry Casey.

"I'm ready for whatever Buckley has planned for Dinner." Mouch interjects.

Buck glances at Mouch, who sitting behind Casey (back-to-back) and across from Gallo. "Who's to say it's any good?" he jests, shifting uncomfortable in his chair. After Bobby's cooking lessons, Buck has grown to love cooking, especially when he spots smiles on everyone after they take a bit. Bobby liked—still likes- to hog the stove, but whenever Bobby gave him the chance (Pre-lawsuit), Buck took it and loved it, it feeling like an intimate gift. To him, it's a show of his love to his team. It's an impulse to cook for the 51 for again. Sure, he made Mac & Cheese, Bobby's recipe, but Abuela's chilaquiles are something else entire.

"I don't know," Kidd throws out. "That's Mac & Cheese was yummy. What did you put in that stuff?"

"I would say crack, but I'm sure Casey would…" Gallo peeps up at his captain, meeting his stare in the sideview mirror. He, with a nervous smile, stops and gives their fearless captain a thump up. "Yup, yup, we all can't wait."

With the complications it left for Bobby, there's a bad taste in his mouth when he thinks about it, but the pot brownies incident did bring up some laughs… well after the fact, and he can't help but laugh. Casey glances back and gives him that signature smile of his. Buck's chest goes light when their eyes meet. "Something you want to clue us into, Buckley?"

It takes a moment to slow his beating heart and to allow his lungs to fully inflate. "Yea…Um," he breathily responds. "At my old firehouse in Los Angeles, we received brownies from a woman we saved from her snake."

"Oh, brownies. That's nice." Mouch says, ignoring the word 'snake'. He also pays no attention the eyes rolls directed at him. "I could go for brownies."

Buck takes his eyes off Casey and grins. "You…um…would think that, but they were… pot brownies. She didn't tell us that though." Looking down, he picks at a loosen string on his jacket

"Oh, no." Kidd injects from the front seat, which Gallo echoes.

"I be everyone at fire station loved them." Casey, shaking his head, laughing.

They sure did. Buck thinks ironically in his head. "Everyone but one of our paramedics had one. The entire house, even our captain, was stoned out of our minds. Didn't kick in until we were on a call unfortunately."

"On a call? Geez," Mouch adds, both stunned and appalled. "Hope it wasn't a fire."

The 118 was lucky in the regard. "No, but we did end up in cuffs at the end of it, as we were loopy, and the cops didn't know what to do with us." Buck answers with a shrug.

"I hope you didn't get in trouble for that." Mouch states, his tone changing ever so slightly. "If I was your union rep, I could've gotten any misconduct dropped and then some."

Buck meets his eyes for a moment before he refocuses on the back of the driver side seat. He doesn't recall if they got their union rep involved, but they must've. "No, just couldn't go back until we tested clean." He doesn't mention the consequences to Bobby; no one needs to know that.

"So, no joking about crack in Buckley's food. Got it!" Gallo exclaims, just as fire house comes into view.

"Won't need it, right, Buckley?" Casey adds. "Your food is good enough on its own."

Once again, Buck's eyes are drilling into the side of Captain Casey's face. How can Casey be so sure that his food will be good? Unless the captain is just talking him up? However, he doesn't correct or challenge the Casey, not when Severide at the squad table draws his eyes as Kidd backs in the truck. NO, Buckley.


*O*O*


It's Buck's first official day at 51, and yet, Kelly has only catch glances of him. At first, he's annoyed, but that feeling quickly dissipates when he spots the former Floater behind the steaming stove. Ritter and Gallo, who are doing most of the talking, are bookends to Buck as he cooks whatever he's cooking. Someone mentioned it, but Kelly is too focused on the smile on Buck's face. It's a hesitant smile, but a smile none the less. It's a strong contrast from his earlier smiles, which just throws Kelly's heart through a loop. Don't get him wrong Kelly likes any smile on his face, but he is curious about this specific smile. Is this Casey's doing? Why? Are jealous?

Leaning against the door frame, everyone disappears around him as Kelly gazes at Buck. There's a skip to his step, his shoulders lighter than ever. Yet, there's small twitch in his expression when Gallo and Ritter tease and joke too loudly about some nonsensical thing. Kelly, his heart thundering, just wants to pull Buck into his arms and take his troubles away. He doesn't. Casey's earlier words echo in his head, which are the only thing stopping him, and while Kelly is not the most patient person, his best friend is right. Buck needs time, and once he's comfortable, he may be up to sharing. Hopefully, Kelly doesn't feel the need to murder people afterward.

"You know a photo will last longer."

Kelly blinks and looks around, his head whipping around until he spots Brett, Foster, and Stella behind him. He has no idea when the ladies popped up next to him, but this isn't the first time they have done so. At times, he wonders if these three ladies are ninjas, especially Brett. "What?" he asks, his cheeks hot, as he purposely ignores her statement.

With a large cheesy smile, Stella pouches Kelly gently in the shoulder and knowingly winks at him before she says, "I'm going to check on Buckley. His chilaquiles smells heavenly." She gives Kelly one more smile, a smile he rarely sees on her anymore, before she crosses to the stove. Buck looks up at her just in time to see her steal a chip.

"It's wonderful to see Buckley settling in so nicely, and that smile looks good on him. I would hate for anything happen to it." Brett says nonchalantly as she shots both Kelly and Foster a cheeky smile. "I would hate to get my hands dirty." With that, she steps away, heading toward Casey who's sitting at the end of the table with a clip board.

"I would hate to piss off Brett." Foster adds as she crosses the room to join Stella. "I put my money on her."

Kelly just stands there blinking. Did Brett just threaten him? And over what? Over hurting Buck? There's not a chance in hell that he would purposely do that. He and Brett want the same thing: for Buck to be comfortable here.


*O*O*


Buck stands back, cleaning up his mess, as everyone lines up for a serving of chilaquiles. While all eyes are on the food—which smells amazing-, Kelly's eyes are on Buck, who looks positively nervous as he sets one of the pans into the sink. The confidence that was in his steps seconds ago is gone, replaced by his familiar timidness. Rocking back on his feet, Buck bits down on his lip and rubs his hands together. He peeps over his shoulder every few seconds, his eyes bouncing to everyone's face… well, everyone but his. Buck is pointedly avoiding Kelly's eyes.

However, there is no hiding his worried expression, the tiny downward turned of his lips. His eyes dart anytime someone meets his eyes. Seeing Buck smiling minutes prior and seeing him now, Kelly has whip lash. He knows Casey is right: Buck needs time to feel comfortable with them, to know they're here for him, but Kelly really fucken hates this. He wants to plow through all of Casey's warnings and charge into whatever this is head first, especially when Buck looks like a sad puppy. Those beautiful eyes are not allowed to look that sad. Who the fuck hurt this man?

Yet, it doesn't seem like the frown has a home on his face as a rowdy roar of approval echoes across the small, cramped room. Sure, the smile is nervous, but it's still a smile, a nice, sweet smile. A massive improvement. "This is amazing," Stella grins as she hums her praise at him. "How did we get so lucky?"

"I don't know, but this is damn perfect. Matches the cook," Foster winks, Buck going red. Kelly's eye twitches.

"Not bad at all," Herrmann states with a head bob.

"I did not expect this from a white boy," Cruz laughs, as he takes another bit.

Brett shoots an odd look at Cruz before she goes, "nothing surprises me about Buckley." She gives Buck a gentle, soft smile. This echoes with the rest of the crew, not a frown in the room.

Casey finishes his plate and unexpectedly gets to his feet, waving his hand at Buck. "Hey, hey. Where I come from, the cook doesn't do dishes." He quickly marches up the sink, a playful stern expression on his face, and promptly snatches the frying pan from his hand.

"Wait! Since when," Gallo asks, his face scrunched up, as his index finger points up like a raised hand. "Because like…" He drops said finger and points it directly into his chest.

From the outside in looking in, Kelly will admit that doesn't make sense, the three of them the 'babies' of the firehouse, but considering Buck has spent most nights cleaning the firehouses, he's glad that Casey has taken the pan from Buck. Granted, it's another reminder that Casey knows something he doesn't. "Well," Kelly says slowly, finishing his plate. "Maybe, we just like Buck's cooking more." He eyes the red blooming on Buck's neck.

"You are questioning that?" Capp asks, ignoring Kelly's teasing as he waves briskly at Casey. "Since when does Casey do the dish?"

Casey turns, putting a soft hand Buck's shoulder, and turns to the chatter group with a sharp eye. "Are you offering to help?" He holds out the pan presenting it to Capp, who just shakes his head with a large chuckle. "Then why don't you—" The captain doesn't finish the statement as a familiar bell rings throughout the entire house. Every company besides Squad 3 jump to their feet. "Well, I guess we all know who's doing the dishes." Casey laughs as slaps the wet rag in front of Capp.

Kelly's eyes are on Buck, who dashes out of the room with the rest of the companies. That nervousness and redness vanishes, Buck looking like a seasoned pro-fighter. "Severide," Capp whines.

Taking his eyes off the now empty hallway, Severide's eyes meet Capp's, and he replies, "Sorry, Captain's orders." Besides, Kelly isn't going to do…. well, he'll do them just to stop Buck from doing so, but Capp does not get that same protection.


*O*O*


Hours later, night has fallen. Exhaustion hangs in his shoulder and his breathing, but sleep doesn't come for Kelly. Instead, he is on his feet and walks the firehouse, while it sleeps—well, mostly everyone. Mouch, offering to be the night watch, is sitting on the sofa, too engrained in the Television to pay attention to Kelly. Granted, Kelly is too deep in his own thoughts to say anything. His thoughts are all over the place, most of them he can't make heads or tails of, but the night breeze does feel good on his chammy face.

He walks the station a few times before he noticed a lone figure sitting on the brick wall at the end of the driveway. Kelly takes a few steps, his mind trying to work out who it is. It takes a few seconds, his eyes in painful slits, before Buck's face comes to mind. Suddenly like a switch has been hit, he sees Buck clearly, and he quickens his steps, his currently thought process morphing. "Whatcha doing out here?" he asks when he finally reaches Buck.

Buck, flinching ever so slightly, keeps his head up, his eyes on the night sky. "Looking up at the stars."

Kelly's eyes pop up to the night sky, scanning the bright night—counting only a few stars-, before he turns back to Buck's darken face, hidden by the harsh shadows. "What stars?" He hums. Very few stars are visible. "It's too bright for stars here. If you really want to see a skyful of stars, you'll have to go elsewhere." 'I can show you' hangs on his tongue, but he can't find it in him to say it. Instead, he goes, "Is something wrong?"

This time, Buck peeks at him from the corner of his eyes. The blues of his eyes is hidden under the dim light. "Can't sleep." He simply states as he tills his head back up, his eyes on the sky. "You?" His voice cracks.

"Same." Kelly answers, as he follows the lines of Buck's face, stopping at his chiseled jaw. He has a striking profile. "But I know better than to try to get some star watching tonight." He chuckles, his smile large.

"Casey told me I'm not allowed to clean the station, so…." He drifts off.

So, have I. Kelly thinks bitterly. He shakes that thought from his head, and without an invitation, takes a seat next to him. He takes notice of the shiver in Buck's shoulder. "He did that, because we want you as a teammate, not a maid." Unable to resist the urge, he rocks to his left and gently bump Buck in the shoulder with his own.

Startled, Buck whips his head around, his eyes burning into Kelly's. "I…um…" He slams his mouth shut and takes a deep breath before exhaling. After a few seconds of silence, he goes, "I know."

It feels like a broken record, but damn, Kelly has so many questions. No. Shaking his head, he leans back and smiles softly. "Just know I'm here if you ever need to chat."

Buck's chest inflates ever so slowly, scrutinizing—which is what it feels like—every twitch in Kelly's face. After a few long moments, he finally says, breathy, "I know. I-" He, shuddering, turns away, his eyes back on the star lacking sky.

Okay, no more pushing, Kelly silently notes to himself. "Question," he starts, changing the subject. Once more, Buck's eyes drop to him, his expression a mixture of curiosity and confusion. "How did you end up in Chicago?" No, Kelly doesn't consider that push as he doesn't ask why he left LA.

At first, Kelly isn't sure Buck is going to answer, biting down on his bottom lip, as he just stares at him, but he goes, "It wasn't my destination. When I…um… left LA, I just drove." He pauses, puffing out his chest. "If it wasn't for a row of pamphlets at a gas station I stopped at, I would've gone in a different direction. No idea where I would've ended up, but seeing all of the attractions, I decided to drive the entirety of Route 66, which put me in Chicago."

"You like taking cross the country road trips?"

Buck nods. "I love driving and exploring this country. So much to see out there." A fond look crosses his eyes.

Kelly's heart starts to dream a road trip with Buck, just the two of them, finding all the hidden gems in each state. He would love to see Buck's face light up with each find. "And you decided to stay?"

Buck shakes out the shiver in his shoulders and musters up a weak smile. "Probably your fault."

"My fault?" Kelly asks, his eyebrow in his hairline. Before Buckley floated at 51, he had no idea who Buck was. How is this his fault?

"…Um… Maybe. Can't give you names." Buck nervously robs at his nose. "I just remember Squad 3 showing up," Buck answers, nodding back to the truck. "It could've been a different shift."

Kelly stills as he goes through his memories, though that's pretty much a lost cause. He gets too many calls to remember them all. Heck, he would be surprised if he remembers someone from a few shifts ago. "What?"

"When I first arrived in Chicago, I wasn't sure what I wanted to do, but while I was sitting on the shoreline, I heard screaming and the familiar sound of a roaring fire. The firefighter in me had me on my feet in no time and rushing into the blaze without thinking." He pauses, his eyes glazing over for a moment. "I know pretty stupid-"

"No," Kelly interrupts forcefully. Even if it can be argued that running into a fire without gear is highly dangerous and extremely risky, he won't let Buck call himself stupid. That's a downright no go for Kelly. Besides, everyone in this house would do the same. Him included. "I can't say I wouldn't do the same. Any good firefighter would have. You're a good firefighter. Don't doubt your instincts."

Buck's head twists, his blue eyes go large as he stares at Kelly. His cheeks color. "I…Yea…" He stammers.

Kelly's chest constricts, his heart beating way too fast. God, why does it feel like this when he is around Buck? "And if Casey yells at you for following those instincts—yes, it happens to the best of us-, don't take it so personally. Casey does it because it will kill him if someone happens to any of us." Andy comes to mind, but Buck's grin chases the haunting sadness away.

"Happens to you?"

"Oh, yes all the time. Just yesterday in fact that Casey gave me an ear full." Kelly laughs, which earns a small grin from Buck. "But anyways, let's not talk about Casey. What happen in that fire?" He is still racking his mind over it.

"Obviously, I made it out," Buck teases, his voice lighter than before.

"Yes, obviously." Unexpectedly, Buck rocks and returns Kelly's shoulder bump from earlier. Kelly narrows his eyes, watching something bloom deep within Buck. He has been seeing it all day, but this is the first time it has been directed at him. "Ass." He calls Buck teasingly as he sends the shoulder bump right back at him, putting more force into it.

"Well, I did." Buck sasses, knocking right back at Kelly. For some unexpected reason, Kelly's playfulness comes out, and he takes this as a challenge and pushes right back, which the former floater doesn't take laying down. Buck's shy, nervous grin transforms right in front of Kelly, and he's all cheeks, that familiar bold firefighter confidence shining through. He tilts to the side, putting a foot between them before he sways back into Kelly.

Kelly, bobbing to the side, cocks his head to the side, his eyes in narrow slits. "Oh, that's how it is?" he goads, lightheartedly. He's grinning so hard it hurts.

Buck, laughing, throws his hands up as he sees something in Kelly's face. "Okay, I give. I give." He puts on an innocent smile, puffing out his bottom lip, as he peeps at Kelly through his eyebrows.

Is the air getting light? Kelly thickly shallows, getting a bit light headed, as he stares into Buck's eyes. Everything freezes, and Buck is all he can see. His heart stops as images of kissing Buck fills his head: gripping Buck by the back of the neck and holding him still as he lays a soft kiss to his rosy lips before biting ever so gently on his bottom lip. Wait, what? It hits him like a freight truck, the air in his lung suddenly gone. Kelly Severide wants to kiss Evan 'Buck' Buckley, and he wants to kiss him more than anything, which is such an odd feeling. He has never felt this light before about anyone. It has—Stop, Severide, his mind tries to reason with him. Kelly knows he needs to as Buck needs a friend more than a straight guy—a mostly straight guy?—pondering his sexuality.

Shit, what the hell is this? This isn't the first time he thought about this topic, but crap, Kelly is into woman. Yet, he wants to press his lips against Buck's and just run his hands up Buck's shirt. Everything is moving and before Kelly realizes it, he's leaning in, his eyes dropping to Buck's lips. They are just-

Buck suddenly jerks away and turns away from Kelly, his focus is anywhere except Kelly. His red face is mostly hidden by the dark shadows on his face. "But yea!" he exclaims very loudly. "I made it out with the father and son combo. It's a blur now, but I just remember a lieutenant helping be back to an ambulance, while a few others help the father and son."

Just like that, Kelly feels like someone has knocked his feet out from beneath him. That lightheartedness is gone, and he feels empty. He refuses to blame Buck for this, as this is on him for feeling something that Buck is not. Buck is looking for a home, a safe place to land, as he runs from a painful past, and no doubt, he isn't looking for a relationship with a man who has no idea what he is. Like really, Kelly isn't into men, and yet…

Buck takes a deep breath, snapping Kelly out of his thoughts. "I just remember seeing the Squad 3 logo and realizing what I wanted. I want to be a firefighter."

Pushing away that emptiness, Kelly puts on a smile and redirects his focus on Buck's words. "And the rest is history," he utters breathy, shocked by it all. He ignores the desire deep in his gut and focuses on their conversion. Chicago is anything but a small city, and yet, Squad three was there when Buck decided to stay in Chicago, which means something. And Buck was helped to the ambulance by a lieutenant? Squad 3 has 3 different lieutenants, and to add, it could've been a different lieutenant from one of the other trucks. Yet, Kelly needs it to be him.

A random car drives buy, drawing both of Kelly and Buck's focus. A frustrated annoyance rolls off the both of them at the small interruption, though Kelly is somewhat glad since it cuts though his haze. "I can't say I regret it." Buck says over the rumble of the noisy car.

"I'm glad." Kelly says, as he watches Buck force his eyes back to the sky. "How long have you been in Chicago now?"

"Um," Buck utters, biting down on his bottom lip. "Three months?"

Kelly, pointing his eyes away from Buck's kissable—fuckable too… fuck…—lips, isn't sure what he expected, but that isn't it. "Have you explored the city yet?" Why is he a dog in heat?

Buck shots him a sideway, sheepish glance. That shimmer of confidence replaced by his trademark nervousness. "…No. I meant to, but nope. I…um… wanted to go to the Gangsters and Ghosts Tour, but never got a chance."

"Then why not go?"

"I…um…I don't know."

Against his better judgement, Kelly lets his eye wander and his thoughts drift, wondering if Buck knows how adorable he is with each um. "Give me your phone."

Blue eyes met his, as he shakily goes for his phone in his pocket. "Why?"

Without hesitation—okay, maybe a little-, Kelly reaches for the phone, his fingers tingle when they touch. Why does he feel so warm now? "Because we're going on the Gangsters and Ghosts Tour." He offers, again against his better judgement. However, he's doing for Buck, not for him to use him to figure out what he's feeling. Buck needs friends.

Buck's expression drops, his eyes going large. "Um… Wait? What? I…" A string of words follows, but Kelly has no luck in decoding any of them.

"Me and you, the Gangsters and Ghosts Tour." It takes a tad more strength than Kelly anticipates to wiggle the phone out of Buck's hand, but when he does, he quickly calls himself to get Buck's number in his call logs and add saves his own number to Buck's phone. Just friends. He tells himself. "And afterward, I can show you all of us locals' favorite spots."

"You…um… don't have to do that." Buck shots out.

For a second as he hands back Buck's phone, Kelly worries he has overstepped (especially since his dick is twitching), but there's a flicker in Buck's face, a flash of hope in his eyes. "You're right. I don't have to. I want to."

Taking a deep breath, Buck nods and says, "Okay, I would like that"

"Then it's a date." But not a date, his mind reasons. Buck is not going to be his test subject for his sexual urges.

Buck, very pointedly, looks away, a shiver running through his body. "Yea, sure."

Kelly grins, his smile taking up his entire face. "So, what day works for-" Just like the cock blocker that it is—not that it needs to cock block Kelly-, the bell rings, waking the entire house. There a resonating grunt echoing from the house as every company is called. Kelly can't help but internally groan too. "We better get to work."


Author Note:

AHHH, can I say I love my own chapter? Yes? Well, I do. LOL

1) I added more Casey & Buck moments, because I want to build that relationship. I know it cuts down on Kelly/Buck moments, but it has to be done. I enjoy writing these moments as everyone deserves friends! More Adam & Buck's friendship next.

2) Also, Abuela's chilaquiles! One, I wonder if Abuela has disowned Eddie yet over the Buck's situation yet. Probably. Two, Abuela's famous chilaquiles. A show of love to 51 from Buck.

3) Buck/Kelly starglazing- The almost kiss. Even my stomach went through a loop. I would feel bad if I didn't love doing the mutual pinning. Granted, if I am being honest, Buck needs to settle at 51 before he jumps into Kelly's bed, even if it is painful to wait. He has to like himself first. Needs Casey and Adam to build up his confidence first. Healthy relationship sucks... JK. And yes, Kelly has it bad, but at least, he's finally realizing it. I am taking it slow with his Bucksexuality, allowing him to figure it. For me, that's feels the most realistic.

Next chapter: Kelly stares at a lot of butts wondering if it is just Buck's butt or does he have attraction to other men's butts... Hint, it is just Buck's butt, but Kelly doesn't know that.

Let me know what you think via reviews