"What?" Elena was frozen in place, Bonnie's words echoing in her head. It seemed as if her world was coming crashing down around her, Bonnie knew. She didn't know how, but her best friend knew what she was hiding from her. They stood there for what seemed like an eternity, in front of a frat house reverberating with music, their eyes locked on each others, and she knew her friend well enough to know that she was angry.

"All day," Bonnie started, her voice soft but brimming with controlled anger, "I kept wondering why I felt as if I had touched a witch when I touched you this morning. And a familiar one at that. The power that I felt come through you, wasn't usual, your power is different than most people but only slightly." She moved forward so the two of them were face to face. "But what I felt this morning was different, at first I thought it was like a another witch, but that didn't make sense. It was similar to how I felt when I touched werewolves too, but not quite, something similar but something different. I finally figured out what exactly it was when I was talking to Shane. Hybrid and Mikaelson." She said the word with such intense disgust that Elena had to resist the urge to shrink away, scared of her friend in a way she had never been before. "Am I wrong?"

"Bonnie-"

"You're pregnant, with Klaus' child." She spat the word like it poisoned her, and Elena took a step back instinctively, fear crawling up her spine. It was the wrong thing to do though because her friend looked confused for a moment, before a look of hurt settled over her face. "Do you think I'm going to hurt you? Seriously?"

Elena gulped, looking around, trying to find the right words, to explain how Esther had reacted similarly, how the moment she knew, she had wanted to kill her baby, but she couldn't. She couldn't find the words, her tongue tied, until she saw Damon come out of the house, his front covered in blood that wasn't there before, looking in their direction. She looked at Bonnie pleadingly, relying on fourteen years of friendship to get her point across. To keep it a secret, and it was only when Damon was near them that her friend gave her a curt nod, not saying anything.

She convinced Damon that they needed to leave, to go home, and that the fun was over, and he had reluctantly agreed. The car ride back was filled with silence, he had tried talking to both of them at some point, but had only been met with short and dull responses. There was a ball of anxiety in Elena's stomach, making her feel like she was going to throw up all over again, and it only got worse when Bonnie told Damon that Elena would spend the night at her place. When they finally got to Bonnie's house, Elena could actually feel her hands shaking. They both got out of the car without a word, but by the time she had gotten her bag and was about to follow her friend inside, Damon was standing in front of her.

"Damon."

"Elena, we need to talk." Oh God, not him too, at this rate she would have to book a flight to Rome just so she could tell Klaus herself. "I know things have been a little weird between us," they had been for a while now, but she didn't understand why he wanted to hash it out tonight. "But I know you and Stefan broke up and I-"

"Damon," his name was a softly uttered request and a warning all together at once, she couldn't do this tonight, not when she had a decidedly long night ahead of her, "don't please."

"Look, I just," his hands were warm on her arms now, he had stepped into the distance between them, deep blue eyes gazing at her, and despite the fact that she knew it was meant to be romantic, she felt a deep sense of aversion rise within her. She couldn't do this again, didn't want to turn him down when she was alone and defenceless. Didn't want to hurt him, but also didn't want to be put in this position again. "I need to tell you, just once. Elena, I love you." She felt her eyes close at his words, a stray tear rolling down her cheek that he swept away with his thumb, before it traced the skin over her cheek, her lips.

She stepped away from him, her legs shaking as she tried to ground herself, to understand what he was doing, what he was trying to do. "Damon, don't."

"Elena, you can't say you haven't felt it." She remembered that there had been a time when she had, her feelings for him had been real, true, but that had gone the moment he had snapped Jeremy's neck. After that, she didn't really think about how she felt for anyone, her own death hanging over head like an ominous cloud. By the time she had gotten over it, she had already been entangled in whatever she felt for Klaus, so consumed by him she had forgotten about anyone else.

"I did, but that was a while ago Damon. Look, I have to go please." She walked around him, and by some miracle, which she discovered a moment later was Bonnie glaring at the vampire, he let her go. She entered inside the safety of Bonnie's home, where the only vampires invited in were Caroline and Stefan as opposed to her own which had pretty much turned into a gas station by this point, and made a beeline for the kitchen sink, hurling up what felt like pure acid.

Just her luck, six weeks she had gone without any morning sickness, and now it was hitting her like a tsunami. She tried not to focus on the memories that sprang into her mind, the first time Damon had shoved his blood down her throat, threatening to kill her, or the second, the sick snap of Jeremy's neck, the bite marks all over her best friend. She had deferred to Stefan back then, new to the world of vampires, but even then Damon had tried to compel her to kiss him, had taken it from her at least once now.

She sagged against the counter, the sound of running water filling the room as she splashed some on her face, trying to get her heart under her control. She straightened and turned off the tap, turning around to face her friend. Silence stretched between them like a tightrope stretched taut, almost at its breaking point, but Elena didn't look away from Bonnie and Bonnie didn't look away from her.

"Sorry," her voice came out rasp, her throat still burning a little, as she ran a hand over her face, "that's actually new."

"Are you okay?" There was a distance between them, the emotional disconnect she felt outweighing the physical one, and it was tough. Her and Jeremy had their fights, before Caroline had been a vampire, they had alway been in some weird competition, pitted against each other by God knows what, but her and Bonnie, they didn't fight. They never fought, except the one time they had over vampires and Stefan and grams, and Elena knew, in her bones, that this was a lot, lot worse than that.

She almost couldn't handle it. She didn't think she could, Bonnie was her best friend, had been since they were kids, had been for as long as her memory stretched, and she knew that out of all her friends, Bonnie would be the one to have the most difficulty with it.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Do you wanna go into the living room?" Her words were measured and careful, in a way they never were with Bonnie, not giving away her fear, or her pain, or her guilt, and it was like a shock to her system. It was a shock to Bonnie too, only just for a moment, and then they were both in the living room, the other girl on the couch, her in an armchair.

"You slept with Klaus?"

So many times she had lost count now, "yes." She tried to get comfortable as she leaned back, but she couldn't sit still.

"Did he.." There was an edge to her friends voice, like she wanted desperately to be wrong but also wanted desperately to be right, "force you?"

She felt herself shake at the question, more out of offence than fear, but bit her lip to keep her emotions contained. "No, there was no forcing, there were no deals, just that I…slept with him." The truth was painful, guilt gnawing at her heart, but she felt no shame at having done it. She did feel horrible at how easily she had lied to all her friends, to her brother, to Jenna, to Alaric, at how easily she had betrayed them. But she had given into Klaus and her own selfish desires a long time ago, and she didn't think she could ever feel shameful for it, no matter how horrible that made her.

"So you just wanted to sleep with him?"

"It's not that easy, but yes."

Bonnie looked at her calculatingly, like she was a specimen in a lab, something to be studied and catalogued, and she felt a little offended, even though a lot of people had given her that look.

"Is that all you have to say for yourself?" The tightrope had broken, she thought distantly, as Bonnie's voice climbed a few octaves, "are you kidding me? Do you have any idea how worried I was? How worried we all were?"

"Bonnie-"

"You just slept with him? What the hell Elena?"

"Bonnie, there were a lot of reasons, but-"

"Then tell me." She had known Bonnie for a long time, in fact she wasn't sure when they had first met, three different memories merging into one, and she knew that when she told Bonnie the truth, her friend would scoff at it. Still, her guilt, which she had somehow held at bay, was taking over her now.

"I know that he is manipulative and selfish, egomaniacal and homicidal and a complete monster, but that's not all he is."

"Seriously Elena? Are you really going to sit here and tell me that underneath all the atrocities, and the murder and the blood of his victims, he's just misunderstood."

"No!" Her exclamation took her by surprise just as it did to Bonnie, "no, just that there is more to him than all of that." There was, the soft look in his eyes when he painted something, his vulnerability in the way he had waited for her opinion on all his works, the pain and the kindness, the anger and the desire, the way he was like a walking contradiction, the monster who treated her almost delicately. If anyone else did it, she would feel slighted, after all she had survived so long, but with him it was more like reverence than an insult. She didn't know how to explain it though.

"A lot more to him? Yeah, you're right, there is. He carts his siblings around in boxes, he tears people apart, he plays with them like they're toys, he has an entire army of hybrids, none of whom have any way to even think for themselves anymore, he killed Tyler, he took away everything from Stefan, he attacked Jeremy, he killed you."

"I know," she did know but hearing a list of it made her feel a lot more conflicted, made her wonder how she had gotten to a point when these things didn't even phase her, "I'm not excusing any of it, I know what he's done, I know what kind of monster he is, but-"

"But what?" Bonnie sounded incredulous, like she didn't understand what, if anything, could change what he had done.

"But he can…he does care, he saved my life more times than I can count, he makes me feel like no one else has, ever. And…I have feelings for him. " It was the first time she had said it aloud, the first time she had even acknowledged it, and she knew how true it was. She didn't know if it was because of the bond, or if the bond was stronger because of it, she had no idea. All she knew was that it was the truth, and that she was too far gone, had been the night she had laid eyes on him for the first time if she was really honest, she just didn't know it then.

"How? How can you…"

"I don't know," she answered the question hanging between them honestly, "I really don't, but I…I get this feeling around him, it's really hard to explain, but I can't help it. I can't lose him." It drained her, saying those words, all this time, she had never had the opportunity to tell anyone, to say anything, but now that she was, she was scared at the intensity of her own feelings. "If it helps, Esther said we were bonded, that we were like mates, you know because of his werewolf nature."

Silence enveloped them once again as Bonnie seemed to process all the information that Elena had dumped on her.

"And you think it's true?"

"Of course it's true. The witch in New York said she could sense it like…" she didn't complete her sentence, remembering what she had said, how it was similar to old marriage rituals, and she didn't think Bonnie would appreciate it. And she didn't think she was ready to say it out loud either.

"What do you mean bonded? Don't tell me you took part in some weird ritual there." Bonnie sounded almost desperate and Elena shook her head.

"No, it was the sacrifice. It was similar to a um…mating ritual," she hoped, prayed to whatever God there, if there even was one, that her friend wouldn't be able to tell how her skin heated at the words, "except the part where I died."

Bonnie looked really shocked now, and she didn't think she had ever seen her friend like that. "A mating - you know what? I don't want to know. I'll probably just find something about it in my grimoire. What if I found a way to undo it?"

"You don't have your powers."

"I have Lucy's number, my cousin, she's a witch."

Elena sat back, thinking back to how she had asked the witch in New York, how her request had been refused, well here was Bonnie offering a out from all of it, from the man whose victims included her and her mother. And she didn't want it. She should, but she didn't. Her friend also knew her well enough to know her answer when she looked away from her.

"What about the baby?" She resisted the urge to rest her hand protectively over herself, knowing it wouldn't give her protection at all

"What about it?"

"Are you…keeping it?"

"Yes."

"Elena, listen to me," there was a desperation in her friends voice underneath the anger, hurt and betrayal, "he's using you. For your blood, for some sick obsession almost every vampire we know has with that face. What's better than a human doppelgänger? A willing one. That's what this is, he's lying to you, manipulating and preying on the part of you that cares." Bonnie got up from where she was sitting, striding towards her, and pulling her up. "This is Klaus we're talking about. The guy hurts his own family, killed his mother, he doesn't care about anything or anyone other than himself and how he can benefit from others. That's what he's doing to you."

"Bonnie, he already has everything I can give him," the words slipped out, and it was true, she'd already given him so much of her, "the sacrifice, my blood. He doesn't need to."

"It's what he does Elena." Bonnie's hands were clutching her where Damon's had, and she looked away from her friend, "look at me Elena, he only saved your life for your blood, everyone knows he needs it."

"But I was already giving him my blood Bonnie, so why do you think he'd do it?"

"Because he's sadistic. Because it's a game for him."

"No," she could not argue a lot of what Bonnie had said tonight, but that wasn't true, "I thought that too, at the beginning, but you didn't see it, you weren't there when he took Alaric down."

"Alaric had you, Klaus had no choice, not to mention Alaric wanted to kill him and Esther had made him unkillable."

"That's not true," Bonnie looked at her sharply, brows furrowed and Elena noticed, for the first time that there were silent tears rolling down her friends cheeks, "Bonnie, there was a way to kill Alaric, Esther linked me to him. All he had to do was kill me. He already had almost two or three bags of my blood, not a lot but enough to make more hybrids, but he didn't."

Bonnie seemed to be speechless for a few minutes before she looked at her again, her gaze pleading, "do you remember Greta?"

"Greta?" Elena couldn't forget her if she wanted to, the witch who had broken the curse the night of the sacrifice, "yeah, I remember her."

"Yeah, her dad thought Klaus had kidnapped her, her brother and father died trying to save her from him, but he hadn't. She had gone to him willingly, he had probably manipulated her, who knows how many others he done this to? You're just the next, and he's going to keep using you till he needs you." The words were said with finality and Elena felt her own tears escape, moving backwards, away from Bonnie.

"That's not true," she could guess that he had manipulated Greta, but she didn't think he had manipulated her. He was always so reactive when it came to her, like a live wire, doing anything needed to keep her safe, not just alive. "It's not true," she heard her voice raising, "I know it isn't."

"How? How would you know?"

"Because I know him, and yes, he's a great manipulator, but I've seen through Damon's manipulations, and Katherine's and Elijah's and I would've seen through his. I'm not - I've survived a lot, and I know I would've never survived it without you, but I have. They've all played mind games with me, but I'm not naive, I know what Klaus is capable of, I've seen it. He always has a plan and a backup plan, but being with me isn't a power play. I know it because I know him. There are things, people he can manipulate, and there are those he can't. There are things he doesn't have control over."

"So, that's what you think? That he can't manipulate you?"

"Can't, won't, Bonnie please," she was the one begging now, "please, I know it's hard to believe" Bonnie was shaking her head, still crying and Elena felt her heart tearing up.

"What's hard to believe is that you think what you're saying is the truth. That Klaus actually cares-" her voice broke on the word and Elena tried to catch Bonnie's hand, who flinched away from her touch. "Elena, you need to see it, you have to. He's playing you." Bonnie was crying openly now and she shook her head.

"No, no he isn't."

"You know what you sound like? Those girls who keep denying their boyfriends aren't abusive even when the evidence is all over their skin."

"You're wrong Bonnie, that's not what this is. It isn't, he's different-"

"With you? Is that what you're going to say? Because that's what they all say."

"Please, Bonnie…I'm-"

"Okay, tell me when it started."

"What? When did it start?" The night of the sacrifice, the mountains in Tennessee, Chicago, the night Stefan threatened to drive her off the bridge, all of them, none of them.

"The ball, when Esther…" she trailed off as Bonnie's eyes widened and she stepped away from her.

"You mean when my mother was turned into a vampire?" Bonnie sounded beyond hurt, betrayal etched on her face with anger as well, and Elena closed her eyes, thinking back to that night, and the next day and the next night.

"Yes," she felt her voice break as Bonnie moved further away, putting distance between them. "I swear I didn't know they would do it, that-"

"That he would do it?" There was vitriol in her friends voice, one that had never, in their entire life, had been directed towards her. "But he did, and you still stayed with him, afterwards as well." She didn't know what to say, her tongue tied as sobs wracked through her body, the witches unforgiving gaze locked on her, even as Bonnie kept crying too. "How could you do it Elena? How can you still-" Bonnie started crying harder than she had ever heard before and she closed the space between them to try and wrap her arms around her, only to be pushed away again. "Doesn't my pain mean anything to you?"

Elena felt her lip quiver, and her tears falling fast, "it does, I…"

"No, it doesn't. I'm not even important anymore, am I?"

"Of course you are Bonnie, you're so important to me, I never, ever wanted to hurt you, in any way. I did whatever I could…" the words weren't enough, and her apology was pathetic at best, insulting at worst, she didn't do enough back then, but it had been an impossible choice, one she had made before even knowing that Bonnie and Abby were involved, before knowing what it would take to break Esther's link to the ancestors. "You're my best friend Bonnie and I love you." She said it in one last attempt to convince her friend.

"Okay, I'm important to you right?" Her voice was hoarse from crying now, and all Elena wanted was to reach out and take her in her arms, so she nodded vigorously, "I'm your best friend," she agreed easily, "so pick. Me or him?"

Elena stood rooted to her spot, her mind whirring a million miles an hour, barely understanding the question that was asked to her. "Bonnie…" her voice was barely above a whisper, almost breaking.

"There really isn't much to think about here Elena. I can tolerate Stefan, barely, but only because he at least tries to control himself. I can tolerate Damon, for all his bolster, he's always protected you, even me. But Klaus…he's a monster. He's a homicidal, egomaniacal asshole who's tried to kill every single person I care about, that you care about. Do you remember Jamie? He was at the decade dance with me when Esther kidnapped you, and Klaus threatened to kill him if I didn't find you in time. So choose, because I can't be your friend if you're with him."

"Bonnie please," a sob caught in her throat as she tried to talk, "please don't make me choose. I can't. I'll never let him hurt you again, and I'll always protect him, but please, don't make me choose. Nothing has changed." She knew it was a lie even as she said it

"Can't you see, Elena? Everything has changed! God, I can't even look at you. You know what I see when I see you?" Anger has taken over her friend, but so had pain, and she knew it was all her fault, her selfishness, her inability to choose, but she couldn't do it.

"Bonnie, I know I hurt you and disappointed you, but I swear that I didn't mean to, but I can't choose. Please don't make me choose."

"I look at you Elena," Bonnie's voice grew steadier as Elena's legs shook, her knees week as she looked into the hard eyes of her friend, a glare levelled at her that was usually reserved for Damon, "and all I can see is Katherine. Using, taking, doing anything to suit her wants and needs." She collapsed then, knees hitting the floor as sobs broke through her, feeling more pathetic and humiliated than she ever had.

"Bonnie, please, I can't lose you."

"It should be easy enough now, I don't have powers anymore, remember? Can't be of use to you." There was bitterness in Bonnie's voice and she sobbed harder at hearing it. She couldn't lose Bonnie, but she couldn't lose Klaus either.

"No, please, I can - I can fix t-this. Just please give me a chance."

"I did give you a chance, I told you to choose. It's more than you deserve, after all the months you spent lying to me. What's even the point of being friends when you kept so many secrets from me? Because I don't get why I'm supposed to be friends with someone who lied to me, through her teeth, without flinching, for months." It seemed like the nail in the coffin, and it took everything in her to get up, her mind and her body exhausted, but she had been drained dry once, her life threatened more than once, had walked into a room full of ancient vampires and brought them to their knees, so she got up, trying to hold on to whatever dignity she had left.

"It hurt, to lie to you, to all of you, but I…you don't understand, it was so confusing, I didn't know what I was feeling, and there was always something going on, but please, I've never used you Bonnie, just please don't compare me to Katherine."

"Why not? Katherine got all the tomb vampires killed, She almost got Emily killed, just like you got my mom killed." She felt her heart twist at the cold tone, and she wished she could turn back time, if she had just never gone to talk to Esther, if she had just pretended to go along with her stupid plan, if she had warned someone, anyone, about what the witch was planning to do, if she had done something. It was all her fault, she'd done this.

"Bonnie…."

"Look, just get someone to pick you up, or take my car. But please leave. I don't want you here." There was a finality in her voice that Elena knew couldn't be argued with, still she wanted to reach out to her friend, and yet, something stopped her, a chasm between them that had never been there before.

"Okay, I'll leave, I just-" Bonnie turned around and left and Elena fell to the couch, her legs shaking as she shivered in the cold. It was late, and she knew she couldn't call anyone to pick her up, not without telling them what had happened. And she didn't think she could bear another similar conversation tonight. So she shut the door behind her, and walked out into the night, playing the night in her mind over and over again.