Hello,
I am sorry that it took me so long. I didn't mean for this to take so long. I literally spent 2 months on this one chapter. My grandfather, while it wasn't unexpected- he was 97-, has died and it hit me harder than I expected. Then, I got sick. (Was it covid? who knows.) My mental heath took a dive, but I do feel better now.
Again, sorry for the long wait.
Please let me know what you think
Reviews are nice
Chapter 17:
The Kiss
Years Prior: Location Unknown
A pair of bloody and bruised knuckles are wrapped tightly on the taffrail of the U.S. Naval Ship. They're wrapped so tightly that his fingernails cut into his skin on his palms, creating little crescent moons imprints. The owner of said hands has a matching bruised rib and a black eye, a souvenir from his last mission. Well, his first real mission, everything else training assignments. For every month this Navy Seal spent training, he spent a month talking himself up, needing to hear those words over and over again. While it took some time, it worked, and there was no hesitation in his arms when he aimed his loaded weapon at a live target for the first time. And even with the first kill under his belt, there was no hesitation he took his second life.
At the time, he could not—would not—process what that meant… what that means, him taking another's life, but now, it's hitting the new Seal like a ton of bricks. And he isn't being dramatic. It feels like someone has repeatedly hit in him the gut with a bag of bricks. No, this feeling isn't unexpected, as many, who wore the uniform, have transverse this guilt after their first kill in the line of duty, justified or not. And not unexpectedly, the Naval uniform is suddenly heavy on the sailor, a fat noose around his neck. At first, he tries to ride it out the guilt in his temporary—tiny as hell- quarters with the rest of his Seal team, but there's too many dicks in that one tiny room to think. Instead, he hides in the open on the mostly deck, basking in the hot sun, and stares out into the ocean. In all directions, there's only water. The ocean goes as far as the eye can see, which is both freeing and scary.
With a heavy heart, Evan Buckley closes his eyes and tills his head back, taking in the salty ocean's air and the sun's hot rays, as he listens to the harsh water hits the side of the ship. There's roar of sailors behind him, performing their daily duties. With his trident on his chest and his ugly bruises, all Sailors ignored him… well, all but one. Fortunately, or unfortunately, it's the only one that matters.
"Buckley."
The smooth, fond voice cuts through the air like a knife, and Evan doesn't need to see who it to know the man's voice. "Commander."
Steve McGarrett steps to the taffrail and settles right next to Evan, their elbows touching. His eyes flicker to the darken bruise on his right eye before following the young man's gaze to the ocean. "How you doin', Kid?"
The Commander's nickname for him echoes against the walls of his head. "Fine. Just a little swore." Evan answers, softly, his right eye twitching. This is nothing he hasn't physically felt before, training getting quite intense, and this—whatever this is—has nothing to do with bruised ribs.
"I wasn't asking about that." McGarrett states matter of factly.
"I'm aware, but it's nothing. It's a part of the job." Evan retorts with a huff.
The Commander, straight face, studies Buckley from the corner of his eyes for a few long seconds before he goes, "It isn't nothing, Ev." He pauses. "When it becomes nothing, then we have an issue. Killing is and should never be easy, and it shouldn't be taken lightly." He huffs softly before he turns his stare back to the water. "So, how are you really?"
Evan's eyes drop to his hand, his grip finally loosening. He extends his fingers out one by one, his glaze dropping to the dry blood, and ignores the pain shooting through his stiff fingers. "Do you ask everyone on your team this?" he spits out, his bitterness shocking even him. He thickly shallows.
McGarrett lets Buckley's bitterness roll off him like a slap from a feather. "It's the duty of a commanding officer to check in on any men under them, so yes. I do check on everyone." The corners of his lips turn upright. "Besides, I have to check in on Freddie daily. Hourly. Without it, it would be mad chaos."
The commander's words cut through Evan's bitterness, and he snorts, smile poking through. While McGarrett is stern and unapproachable at the time with his 'scary Commander' glare (though Freddie and Evan are immune to it), Freddie is the goofball, always doing something to make the team laugh. Evan isn't ashamed to say that he and Freddie got into trouble together a lot, but he is quick to blame the older man. "Sure would."
"All kidding aside, Kid, I'm here for you if you need to talk." McGarrett pushes off the taffrail and straightens up, stretching out his arms above his head. He studies Evan's profile before he goes, "What helps me is knowing that what I do protects those who cannot protect themselves. We're a shield for them, and with my—our—sacrifices, it makes the world a tad bit safer."
Evan tilts his head just enough to meet his Commander's warm glaze. "Yes, Sir." He responds, unsure where he would be if it wasn't for Commander McGarrett. At first the Commander was hard to read, but with each passing day, something flickered beneath that mask, and he became an open book, a friendship growing between the two. Or as McGarrett calls it, a family.
The older man's eyes narrow into fine points. "Sir? You're making me feel old now."
Straightening out his arm, Evan pushes off the taffrail and just grins. "Well, you are old."
The man looks positivity offended. "Um…Excuse me?! Did you call me old? I am not old. Thirty isn't old." He resorts, playfully shoving Evan in the shoulder.
Evan, who's in his early 20s, thinks anyone over 30 is old… Okay, he doesn't, but it's fun to tease McGarrett, to get his mask to break. "Have you thrown your back out yet, Old Man?" he teases as he pretends to throw his back out. While Evan can never wash away the image of his enemy's eyes rolling back as he shot him dead, laughing with McGarrett helps.
"Watch it, Buckley."
*O*O*
There's a layer of thick dirt on Evan's skin that he doesn't think he can ever get rid of without an hour shower, and the wet wipes are utterly worthless, no matter how many he uses. The pile of used wipes is growing. He's pretty sure he reeks, though he has become numb to the smell—much like everyone else here—after a few months in the field, but honestly, it has come a fun-odd but fun—joke along the guys. In fact, they make it into a challenge and the winner gets the candy that comes in the MRIs. Evan has won a few times, though he isn't exactly sure what he has won in this stinky game, but it's enjoyable none the less and the prize, which changes from time to time, is the nice.
In this case, the person who smelled the worst got to be the lucky one to speak to their loved one first. Miller won and got the first call, and he spent his time talking to some chick, who Evan is pretty sure is a stripper. (Not that's anything wrong with striping. There's just that stereotype of strippers with servicemen.) McGarrett has warned them about strippers and how often service men married them and lose everything. Granted, relationships, regardless of how long you known someone, often fail at this stage due to stress of having your loved one deployed. Miller didn't listen, but that isn't Evan's problem if Miller doesn't heed the warning. However, it makes for the prefect canon fire.
When Miller finishes his call, he gives Buckley an overtop grin. "Oh, boys, I'm in love!"
Evan snorts. "Is that just your dick talking?" he asks, as he, shirtless, runs a wet wipe up his left arm to his shoulder. "I think your dick is talking. She's probably banging half the town." This isn't a slight against her professional per se, as everyone knows the likelihood a deployed service member is getting cheated on. It's a running joke… well not to the person getting cheated on.
"Are you jealous? Want my dick for yourself?" Miller teases, motioning to his private areas.
"Considering you reek? Nope, not at all." Mockingly, Evan brings the wipe up to his nose. "What's your opinion, Freddie?"
Freddie, nearly a decade older than Miller and Buckley, throws his arms in the air. "I am not getting in the middle of this. I got my own call to make." He quickly excuses himself to make, Buck following him with his eyes.
Miller's grins drop and gives Evan a quick once over. "So…You never seem interested in phoning home. No one at home? No parent or family?"
That's a loaded question even if Miller doesn't mean for it to be, and at first, Evan wants to ignore it; however, he knows that look. Miller isn't one to drop it, and it'll be easy just to answer, since the man is a dog looking for a bone. "I'm no contact with my parents." There's a laundry list of traumas from his childhood, which Evan boxes up and stuffs away, so while the Buckleys are biologically his parents, Evan doesn't consider them as his parents, Maddie taking over that roll. So no, he will not be calling his parents, especially his mother. Reaching out to his sister has crossed his mind several times, but he doubts she'll answer… Though, she may now since he hasn't been sending postcards…. "A… sister, but I hadn't spoken to her years."
"Does she know you're in the Navy? A Navy Seal?"
Letting out the large huff he's holding, Evan shakes his head. "No." He doesn't dive farther into that, though the heavy 'no' says enough. God, Evan misses Maddie, wanting nothing more than to reach out to her and tell her about this. Granted, he just wants to talk to her. She is his family, and he feels off without her present. Since Doug, it feels like there's an ocean (well there technically is at the moment) between them, and at times, he feels abandoned. He knows that's unfair to her, considering Doug is a fucker and their parents are shit.
"So, no one knows?" Miller's raises an eyebrow. "No one waiting for the call?"
The call. Evan pauses, the question slapping him. He never gave it much thought—thinking he's invincible-, though he supposes it would be his parents to get the call, the visit. He snorts thinking about how his dear old mother would react to two Naval Officers showing up on her doorstep. Would she care? Considering how many times she locked him in his room, he doubts so. "I will have them call you instead."
"I'm pretty sure if you're dead, I'll be there right there next to you."
"If we're both dead, then some shit went down." Evan replies, changing the subject.
Miller's eyes drift to Freddie, who is animated gesturing with his hands at the screen. "I'm sure both Hart and McGarrett would kill us."
Evan's heads to mindless bob, as he panders the thought. "Especially McGarrett."
"I d-"
"What am I doing now?" Commander McGarrett asks as he pops into the field barracks in his chest plate and a skeptical smile on his face.
Evan's head stops bobbing and he gives his commander a cheeky smile. "How you will kill us if we die."
The commander lets off a playful huff and rolls his eyes. "That seems like too much work. You can stay dead." Miller throws up his arms and playingly storms off mumbling, now intently making poses photos behind Freddie Hart. "He has a short attention span." He deadpans.
"Yup." Evan smiles as he pops out his bottom lip.
McGarrett gives Evan a calculating look. "Did you call your sister yet?"
Evan goes stiff. "What?" Unlike everyone else, he told the commander about his sister, them bonding over their sisters. After holding it all in, it was refreshing to tell someone about Maddie, one of the most important people in his life… well before she ditched him for Doug. No! That's completely unfair considering their parents. Like him, Maddie wanted to escape them. Evan's expression sours at the thought of them and their 'parenting.' If there's a poster for 'shitty people who should've never been parents', the Buckleys are on it. So yes, he understands why she left. He truly does, but it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. It hurts as she (until now) was and the only person who has ever loved him. His mother did not love him.
"Ev?"
Snapping out of his thoughts, said man's head pops up. "No, I hadn't." He pauses and adds, "have you?"
The commander scowls, having his own sister issues. "That's not the same thing."
Evan tosses the dirty wet wipe in him hand to the ground with the other and reaches for his shirt. "Anything good for dinner?" he asks, changing the subject.
McGarrett clocks the obvious change in the subject, but he doesn't call the man on it. "It depends on what you call yummy. However, I scored some Chili Mac MREs."
While citizens would turn up their noses at MREs, the Chili Mac ones are the ones to die for. Evan is willing to be annoying as shit to get one. This includes poking his teammates and batting his pretty blues at them, his best puppy dog face. Most give in to him, unable to take his pouting. "Yes." He cheers, though his mind drifts to his sister. No matter the distance or crap between them, Evan will always want his sister. There will always be a bond between them that cannot be shattered, even if Evan feels cut off from her.
*O*O*
Chicago-Present day
Buck: Mads! Help. I fucked up. I kissed a straight man…. I really like him.
Maddie's response isn't immediate, and with every second that passes, Buck's nerves spike and it gets harder to breath. She has to response, right? She has to! Buck's brain goes down a rabbit hole, everything turning on its head, and by the time she responds—nearly two hours later-, he's a basket case, his jitters getting the better of him. He almost drops his phone a few times as he tries to unlock it.
Maddie: Surely, it isn't that bad. How did he react?
Buck's heart almost leaps out of his chest as he reads her response, and he's hit with an intense warmth and love, even if he is a bit confused by her response. There's no 'where are you?' or 'When are you coming back?' Instead, it's how can I help you, which Buck is eternally grateful for. He can't deal with the 'why did you leave?' questions. Buck shakes those grueling thoughts from his head and types out his response, his heart still racing.
Buck: Like a gentleman! A gentleman, Mads! He said it was okay. That we're good. That he still had a good time with me, and his opinion of me hasn't changed. I don't know how it hasn't. I kissed him!
Even now, Kelly's kind, gentle response boggles the mind, leaving Buck both confused and shocked. Most men—well, the shitty ones—would never be so gentle and would shove the 'offending' party away, causing a substantial amount of damage. Buck can recall the kid in high school who nearly shoved him down a steep slope after Buck foolishly leaned forward thinking they had a moment.
Maddie: What exactly happened, Ev? You ran away like an idiot, didn't you? My sister vibes are tingling.
There's this heat in his chest as Buck's brain fuzzes for a second, his face red. Though there could be some debate (considering Maddie doesn't know about his Seal days), she knows him the best, probably even better than himself.
Buck: What makes you think that?
If this conversation was in person, Buck would've fumbled that whole sentence. It would've taken him several times and minutes to get it out. Even now, his mouth has gone completely dry, while he struggles to keep hold of his phone in his sweaty hands.
Maddie: Evan, I love you, but I know you. I see you covering your head with a brown paper bag before dashing off.
Said man goes pink at that awkward memory. After his first crush rejected him, he ran off crying, but that shouldn't count.
Buck: It was just one time! And I was 7. You can't hold that against me forever!
Maddie: I sure will. You don't know me very well if you don't know that. So, tell me what happened.
Buck takes a deep breath and settles into his bed, stuffing a pillow behind his neck. While his jitters from earlier are gone, they are replaced by a new set of nerves and concern. It has been months since he talked to Maddie, months since he has been truly honest with her. Months since he let her in. What will she say if he lets her in? Does she think he is a coward for running? His heart is pounding in his chest at the mere thought of letting her in.
Maddie: Evan!
Maddie: I will not stop until you tell me.
Maddie: So, tell me.
There's no doubt in Buck's mind that Maddie will hound him until he comes clean, and unless he wants a headache, there's no point in fighting it. Besides, this is why he reached out to her. He needs his sister. He needs her ear. With a deep breath, his eyes dashes to the flashing digital clock on the night stand. It's getting late, and while he should tell his sister good night, he's struggling to do so. He misses her so much that saying bye hurts too much. Plus, admitting his feelings for Kelly makes them real, and if it is real…, he's pained with the knowledge it can never happen. With a deep breath, he writes.
Buck: One of the guys from work, took me out to tour the city on our off day. He took me on a few tours. It was really cool. One being a ghost/Gang tour, which was so awesome. One was a boat tour. Shit, the history in this place is remarkable. Then at the end, we sat by the water and talked. God, it was cathartic. Then, I did it without thinking…leaning in and kissing him.
Her response is almost instant.
Maddie: Sounds like a date.
Buck is beat red. It wasn't a date. It wasn't… no matter how he wishes it was.
Buck: It wasn't a date. He's straight!
Maddie: And yet, there was a kiss.
Buck: I kissed him, not another way around. It was mistake!
Maddie: How would you know? You ran away like a chicken. A chicken! You didn't give that man a chance.
Buck's heart pounds against his chest. A chance? A chance to do what? To reject him? To shove him away?
Buck: I'm no chicken!
Maddie: Sooo, you didn't run away after laying a smooch on him?
Buck lets out an annoyed, pained huff, which Maddie has the misfortune of not hearing.
Maddie: You just huffed like a baby, didn't you?
"No…" Buck utters though a yawn, and again, there's no one to hear it. That's probably for a good thing as he, battling through his exhaustion, reaches for a pillow and attempts to smother himself. He says attempts considering he does it half ass and just ends up screaming into the pillow. He doesn't stop until he's out of breath, grasping for air and his heart hammering in his chest. He sluggishly rolls to his side and tosses the pillow that used to cover his face against the wall. His mind replays the kiss in his head. Exhaling slowly and deeply, he puts done his phone, unable to form words at the moment, and reaches for another pillow, this one to hold against his chest in a vice grip.
Buck takes a deep breath as he thinks of Maddie, of her laying next to him after a night of gabby like school kids. Of her being the stereotypical big sister. Of them gossiping until they fell asleep. He exhales deeply again, his mind now drifting to Kelly and that deliciously warm smiles of his. Why does he have to be so nice… so good? Kelly makes it so easy to fall for him. He groans as he curls into himself, his exhaustion hitting him like a wrecking ball. With being on his feet all day and his stressing over the kiss, the fatigue hangs off him like a brick collar. Unable to fight it anymore, he drifts off to sleep with dreams of Maddie and Kelly.
*O*O*
Buck wakes with a jolt, his phone violently vibrating and screaming in his hand. His brain not fully booted up, he forcefully tosses his head side to side, shaking himself awake. It takes several long seconds before his version clears and his surroundings take shape. His body still feeling heavy, it takes a few deep exhales before his beings settle and for him to feel normal. "Shit," he croaks, his throat dry, as he shakes his head. His eyes shoot to the clock on the night stand, and he lets out one more curse. While he isn't late, he does have much time to get to work and has to kick himself into gear if he doesn't want to be late.
Kicking his feet over his bed, he leans forward and checks his phone for messages. His heart drops not seeing any texts from Kelly, the gloom in his chest surprising him. With how he left Kelly yesterday—bolting like a crazy person-, he isn't sure there is anything to say besides 'sorry,' and yet, he finds himself longing for that human contact. Longing for that warm contact from Kelly Severide. He's unaware to when he got addicted to Kelly's kindness, but somewhere along the line, he also got addicted to those pretty eyes of his and gorgeous smile.
God, he has it bad. Just thinking about his smile heats up his chest. Urgh. However, there are messages on his phone: emails. Several emails from Maddie, which draws out a fond smile from the man. No matter how often he thinks about it, the warmth just grows, and he can't get over this sensation. He feels lighter knowing his sister is back in his life, even if they are simply exchanging emails.
Maddie: So, tell me about this man. What's his name? Where did you meet him? What does he do? What color are his eyes? Does he have a good smile? Was it love at first sight? Tell me everything.
When he did not respond, she sent another message.
Maddie: Either you're ignoring me or you're sleeping! You better not be ignoring me. :p I don't know what time it is for you, but I hope you have a good night sleep. I won't keep you from your dreams. ?
That winky face is a kick direct to Buck's gut. "Maddie!" he groans, covering his face with his hand. He can't say that his dreams are innocent or child safe, but they are something he will never discuss with his sister.
Buck: Mads! I got to get to work. Keep it pg.
For now, he keeps it simple as he really does have to get to work and has no time to stew over his response. With his meeting with Boden, Casey, Adam, and Adam's boss on his mind, he can't allow himself to get too distracted by Maddie and her teasing. He can't allow himself to get distracted by his thoughts of Kelly. He needs to keep a level head. He darkens his screen and keeps focus on getting ready for work.
*O*O*
Sitting on the bench in the empty station locker room, Buck closes his eyes and practicing some of the breathing techniques he learned in the Navy. Some of the ones Steve ran through with him. After a few deep breaths and gentle exhales, he checks his phone for any messages but sees none. Due to the time difference, it isn't surprising that there aren't any emails from Maddie, being still early in California. However, it doesn't stop him from staring at her last two messages, his heart beating in his ears. His cheeks go pink thinking about the dreams Maddie is teasingly hinting to, which involves a shirtless Kelly wearing only a fire helmet and his turnover pants.
One of Kelly's hands dedicatedly travels downwards on chest in a sensual and erotic fashion, while the other plays with his waistband. He pulls at the-
Nope.
Nope.
Don't go there! Buck yells at himself, and yet, he can't help it, a cheesy smile breaking out on his face. The back of his neck turning different shades of red.
"What you're smiling about over there?"
The sudden yet friendly voice pulls Buck from his racy thought, and in his surprise, he wobbles on the bench, almost toppling over. Flapping like a craze bird, he catches himself on the locker and plants his right arm, pushes himself upright. He grunts, settling his racing heart, before he spins to face the incomers. To his surprise and relief, he smiles and greets, "Ritter, Gallo."
Gallo gives him a cheeky smile. "So, who's the lucky girl?"
"Who said it is a girl?" Buck shots out quickly.
"I know that loopy smile. Ritter makes fun of me for it all the time." Gallo gives Ritter a friendly, yet playful eyeroll before he turns back to Buck. "Sooo, is she cute?" With a huff, Ritter, eyes' narrowed, elbows his friend hard in the side. "OUCH. Hey! What was that for?"
"Whoever he's talking to is his business." Ritter answers, sternly. Like a switch has been hit, he pauses for a second his lips turning slightly up right. "Granted, that blush tells it all. Who's the lucky lady?... But if that's too pushy, you can tell us off and ignore us. I totally get it."
"My Sister." Buck answers as he stands up, wiping his sweaty hands on his pants.
The expression on Gallo's faces morphs. "You have a sister?" he asks, surprised.
The answer only seems to confuse Ritter, who's fucus on the blush under Buck's face. "That blush is from your sister?"
Buck holts, as he fights back his first instinct to lie. Man, he's tired of lying and hiding. While he made a fool of himself in front of Kelly, it felt good to be honest and to let it all out. Before, it felt like he was squshed into the small box, limbs broken, and he doesn't want that unpleasant feeling to return. He refuses to live like that. "She was just teasing me about a guy I like." He will never admit to who it is, but he has no interest in hiding his sexuality.
Gallo's eyes go wide. "You're gay? I-" He lets out wounded cry when Ritter elbows him hard again. "OUCH! What is that for?"
Ritter shakes his head, a glimpse of annoyance hanging on his face. "You can't go around asking people if they're gay!"
"I'll… He…" Gallo huffs, embarrassed and mortified. "I…ah…Mentions-"
Buck's thunderous laugher interrupts the two, drawing their attention back to them. "It's fine, but no, I'm not gay."
"Oh." They both utter.
"BI, actually." Buck offers. While he never hid his BI status with the 118, he never told them either. There was no need to, considering the last guy Buck took to bed was Adrian and he swore off guys for a while after him.
"Ohhh," Ritter and Gallo utter, surprised.
Buck doesn't expect any judgement from these two, but it is an auto response. "Is that a problem?"
"What?! No." Gallo's voice creaks, going up a tad too high up. "Ritter's gay!" He awkwardly pats Ritter on the top of his shoulder a bit too forcefully.
Ritter, who has never hidden his sexual preferences, lets out a pained squeal. "Dude, you can't go around saying that!"
Gallo gives a sheepish smile, which Buck can only laugh at. While he's on the outside looking in, he enjoys Ritter and Gallo's friendship. It's pure and genuine. Sure, they're two goofballs who would sooner trip on their own feet than win a fight, but they are the type of friends who will go to war for the other, and Buck loves them for it. "We're good, and honestly, you two are hilarious." He smiles, rubbing at his nose.
"Goofballs, according to Casey and Herrmann." Gallo adds, nodding.
"I think that's more directed at you," Ritter counters.
Waving his arms around like a chicken without a head, Gallo opens his mouth to respond, but before he can, the bell rings throughout fire station, kicking everyone into action. However, as Buck leap into action, a sudden movement catches the corner of his eyes. He doesn't get a glimpse of the person's face, only making out a blue shirt. While he doesn't miss a beat running, his chest goes cold. Though he hasn't checked the locker room when he sat down, he thought the room was empty, a dead silence had filled the air. But who the hell cares? Buck reasons with himself if someone overheard him. Sure, Buck has not been at this house from long enough to know that this is a very accepting house. He has nothing to fear.
*O*O*
One call turns into three (two car accidents. Can no one drive anymore? And a kitchen fire gone bad), and it's hours later before can they return to the station. Everyone is tired and a little grumpy from the hunger, Gallo and Mouch already complaining about the food. Kidd throws back a sassy comment here and there, but her eyes and smile are on the road. Casey just watches the interaction, his eyes flickering to the side view mirror, which holds Buck's reflection, every so often. Their eyes meet a few times, and while it worries him at first (did I do something?), Buck can read the 'Just checking in glances' from the Captain and settles.
Giving Casey a 'I'm okay' smile, Buck reaches into his pocket for his phone to see if he has an email from Maddie, and sure enough, he does.
Maddie: PG? You're no fun. And oh, it's not lost on me that you avoided the question. ?
Maddie: But no, I'm not going to harass you about him. Just being your loveable older sister. A loveable sister who cares very deeply about her brother. Only looking out for your wellbeing. ?
Again, it isn't lost on him that Maddie isn't pushing for more info on his currently situation, and Buck isn't sure how he feels about that. Yes, he doesn't want to talk about it with her—not yet at least, but why isn't she asking him? A million thoughts pass through his mind at that thought, his chest going numb. Does she not care? Nope. Don't go there. No matter what his traitorous mind tries to whisper in his ears, Maddie will always love and care for him, the same for him for her. There's nothing they would not do for the other.
Letting out a large exhale, Buck's mind wanders back to the 118, and the mess he left behind. There are many things he regrets and leaving Maddie without a saying single word is one of them. He was so focus on himself that he forgot about her. However, he can only keep his head forward and focus on the present. They can rebuild what has been broken or damaged and be better for it. A life without Maddie in it isn't something he wants. Whether or not she is teasing him, it's a relief to be connected with her again. It's fun to go back and forth with her.
Buck, his head down in his phone, sneaks a glimpse at Mouch and Gallo, who are wildly gesturing at each other before he types out his response to Maddie. Their voices filling up the cabin, he bites down on his bottom lips to stop the blush from forming on his face as he rereads the message. While he still feels like a foolish idiot—God, how will he ever face Kelly?- for kissing the Lieutenant, there's no denying the warmth that spreads through him when he thinks about the man…when he thinks about his beautiful eyes.
Buck: Not my fault your nosey AF. Geez, get a life, Old Lady…. JK. ? Don't hurt me. I love you. But okay, the guy is a fellow firefighter, and we work at the same fire station. He's a LT, older, and has green eyes, but at times, I swear they are blue.… and his smile… I don't have words…
He hits send on the message before he can change or add more. However, he is hit with a sudden wave of gloom.
Buck: But it doesn't matter. He's straight and I'm idiot. I still don't know how I will face him.
No, seriously, how is Buck going to face Kelly? Usually, if he makes a fool out of himself in front of someone, he will simply avoid them and pretend they don't exist, which can be easy. It isn't hard when you don't work in the same station, but that isn't the case here. There're only so many rooms in this fire station, and he can't avoid Kelly for long… well, he can try, but considering who he's dealing with, that won't be impossible for long. Kelly isn't the type to be ignored, and if there is one thing Buck is sure of, it's that. There's no way in hell Kelly would let anyone ignore him. Granted, Buck isn't sure he wants Kelly to ignore him. It does something to his heart to think about Kelly chasing after him. Stop it, Buckley, he thinks to himself as he exhales.
All that aside, there's another side to this coin. While Kelly won't be snubbed, it doesn't mean Kelly won't allow himself to be 'ignored', gracefully allowing Buck to have that cushion. Going off Kelly's gentle rejection, he can totally see the man doing that, permitting Buck to have his space to spare his feelings. It would be in Kelly's nature. Urge. Why did he have to be so stupid? Buck really doesn't know what he's going to do, especially if Kelly starts to look at him differently. Anything but friendship and kindness in Kelly's eyes will kill him.
Buck: And hey, enough about that. How are you? How are you and Chimney?
Besides the fact that if he thinks about Kelly any longer, he may explode, Buck is very curious about Chimney and the rest of the 118. Did something happen? Is that why Maddie is only focused on him liking a guy? He hopes everything is okay with Chimney and Maddie. Regardless of what happened between him and the 118, Maddie deserves to be happy, and he has no ill intent or feelings toward Chimney, only the person who makes his sister smile. And she des—
"What's going on with your face, Buckley?" Mouch asks, gesturing in a circle toward his face. "Looks like you're having a…" His face scrunches up, and he pauses, the gears in his brain turning. "…Whatever that is."
Gallo leans forward slightly, eyeing the twitchy expression. "Your sister?" he asks.
Confused, Casey glances back over his shoulder, inquiring, "You got a sister, Buckley?"
Buck, eyes wide and his cheeks red, tucks his phone back into his pocket and glances around the truck's cab, meeting everyone's eyes for a second. "Y-Yea, I do. She was teasing me like all sisters do."
"Well, what else are sisters for?" Casey teases with a light smile.
"Pain and torture?" Mouch offers up.
Something flashes in Gallo's eyes, but it's gone in a flash, replaced by a smile. "That could just be you, Mouch."
Mouch laughs. "I thought we knew that already."
Buck's heart settles just a bit, his sister's teasing falling to the side, but that only lasts for a second when he notices a familiar (Not his) Jeep sitting outside the firehouse. Buck's expression shuts down, a familiar—yet distance sensation flooding him. Quickly and quietly getting out of their turnout gear, Buck follows to Casey to Boden's office. Unconsciously, he scans the floor—not willing to voice what or who he is looking for; however, he spots Kelly's calculating, narrowing stare when they turn down the hallway, but he forces those penetrating eyes out of his thoughts.
*O*O*
Boden's office seems tiny when Casey and Buck, both covered in a layer of ash and sweat, file in. Buck isn't sure if that's due to the fact that there was 5 large men in the room or the weight of Adam's case on his shoulder, but as soon as Buck steps in, he wants to turn tail and step back out, his entire body stiff with tension. It's a battle to breathe, an odd sensation of someone sitting on his chest. Instinctively, his right hand drops to his side and dives deep into his pocket for his phone. Almost immediately, his hand wraps around it in a vice grip, feeling like a lifeline. The air feels less toxic. It takes a few seconds for him to settle and for him to breathe.
Buck's eyes flicker to the neutral faced Adam who, with arms crossed against his chest, is leaning against the wall, for a second before they dash across the room to Voight, or who Buck assumes the man to be, sitting on sofa. There's a smugness about the man that no one can deny. Buck isn't sure what he was expecting from Adam's boss, but he looks like he could kill a man without blinking. That thought gives Buck pause.… Granted, that could fit Steve McGarrett as well, but that's different as that is Steve. Besides his sister, if there is one person he trusts absolutely, it would be that man.
Behind his desk, Boden stiffy huffs, drawing everyone's attention back to him. "Casey, Buckley." He greets, waving them in. "We were just talking about our situation." His friendly tones are gone.
Buck bobs up and down, as the word 'our' sticks out to him. It shouldn't shock him, but it does. "Okay."
Voight shots Buck a calculating look before turning his glaze back to Boden. "As I was stating when Ruzek initially tapped firefighter Buckley, he wasn't under your command, nor was it intentional. I believe Buckley has already informed you about the situation. Wrong place wrong time, and Officer Ruzek had to act fast." He states, calmly. "And the rest is history."
The words 'history' echoes loudly in Buck's ear, his stomach churning, and this room is thick with tension. Buck wishes he had a knife to cut it.
Casey quickly scans the room, his eyes bouncing between Boden and Voight. "What did we miss?" Casey says, taking a step forward.
Boden leans forward in his chair and cracks his knocks. "We were discussing Buckley's involvement," he starts, fumbling over the word, "in their sting operation and how I'm not a fan of my men being used as his pawns. We are firefighters, not cops."
"Agreed, our job is not dodging bullets." Casey chirps, irritated.
Buck shifts uneasily. Adam has noted there's bad blood between Voight and Casey, but this is a more than a little bad blood between the two. Clearly, this goes deeper than some bad blood.
Adam's eyes shift to Buck, their eyes meeting. A million words pass between them though their eyes. "I will apologize for that," he states, looking away from Buck. "This wasn't my intention, and I'm actively trying to keep his involvement to the minimum. However, Dom—our suspect—is greatly interested in Buckley. I'm not sure why, though I can guess that it's in part due to his status as a firefighter. He thinks he can use that. He wants to have a meeting." Adam rubs at his nose. "The goal is to get him on the record to admitting his next heist and then catch him in the act."
"What exactly is that?" Boden asks.
"Currently, he is funneling in drugs from California, which has put quite a few people in comas, but he hopes to expand. Our goal is to get these drugs off the street and stop him before he hurts anyone else."
Boden's eyes zip to Buck. "The point still remains that I do not want one of my firefighters involve in one of your strings. He has already been drawn in far enough, and I have seen what happens when your strings go amiss."
Buck lifts his head at that. Okay, that's clue to this 'bad' blood.
Voight shifts in his seat and straightens his jacket. "Point taken. We just need Buckley at one more meeting."
A skeptical Casey turns back to Buck, giving him his Captain accessing glaze. "Are you okay with that, Buck?"
For the most part, Buck remained quiet in his meet and just took everything in. There's a lot of history here that he's unaware of, but helping people, saving lives that's all Buck wants to do, and he's willing to risk himself to do it. "I can handle one meeting, just as long as I am read in. Don't want to go into anything blind."
Turning toward Buck, Casey is a bit stunned by his response, which Buck can understand. After the ambush breakfast with Dom, he was in shock, rocked to his core, and it showed on the young man's face. His discomfort was written over his entire body when he spoke to Boden and Casey earlier. "Are you sure, Buck?"
Buck doesn't have any interest in any undercover work, especially using his own name. He simply wants to find his place in 51—avoiding Kelly until the memory of the kiss dies- and get his grove back. Besides, as long as Adam doesn't surprise him anymore with Dom meetings, he can handle it. "Yes."
"You don't have to do this," Boden throws out. "No pressure as you weren't trained for this."
Voight shots Buck a smug grin, which pieces right through him. "Buckley is a former Navy Seal. I'm sure he can handle himself. Right, Kid?"
Buck can feel Casey and Boden's eyes zeroing on him as the words 'Navy Seals' and 'Kid' echo in his head. Like before, Buck never meant to hide it, but it just kind of happened, between him feeling like a failure for his inability to box his emotion and no one believing he could obtain the famous Trident. "I got it. Just as long as I'm not kept in the dark. Besides, it's one meeting." He says, sternly.
Boden's eyes linger before he turns his attention back Voight. "Very well, but I need to be kept in the loop. If you need any additional assistance from Buckley, I will be informed." To make a point, he stands, hand on his hip. "If at any point Buckley feels uncomfortable, I'm ending this. If at any point feel like I feel this is going side way, I am ending this. If anything feels fishy, I'm ending this." He points down sharply at the desk. "I don't-"
"We get it." Adam cuts off.
"No problem. We will be in consistent communication." Voight says, while shooting Adam a look, as he gets to his feet. "See we can work together."
Boden and Voight exchanges a few more words before Voight and Adam make their exit, leaving Buckley alone with Boden and Casey. "Are you sure you're okay with this?" Casey asks.
"As long as I don't end up in a gun fight," Buck answers, honestly, as he throws his hands up in a jazz hand motions. He hasn't touched a gun since leaving the Navy and he has no interest in picking up a gun again. "I can do a meeting. Just as long as it isn't an ambush." He pauses, puffing. "That was the issue last time. It was surprised, unexpected… With my history and being i-isolated at my old fire station, it hit harder than it should." It all comes down to that, doesn't it? His trauma. Trauma. Trauma. Trauma. His long list of traumas. Traumas from his childhood and his horrible parents. Trauma from his time in the service. Trauma from Aidan. Trauma from firefighting. Trauma from the truck on his leg. God, the list just goes on and on. With all of that, it makes sense that he took the surprised meeting with Dom shook him. There's only so much a person can handle.
Both Boden and Casey's eyes widen at the statement. They turn to each other for a second, sharing a meaningful look. "That makes…ah…sense." Casey speaks pensively, as he quickly masks his surprise.
"Understandable." Boden asks, somberly. "I'll make sure it does not happen again."
"Thank you, Sir." Buck nods and turns toward the door. He does his best to silence the whispers in his head. If he thinks about them too much, he doesn't know where he will end up. "If that is all?"
"It is." Boden replies.
Casey turns slightly. "A Navy Seal, Buck?"
Buck, pausing, looks over his shoulder and purposely meets Casey's eyes in an attempt to judge his Captain's amazement. In his lifetime, he received many different reactions. Some are in disbelief. Some are downright rude. A few do believe it, but it's hard to compute a goofy Evan Buckley as a Seal. Buck can give people that, even if it hurts. So, is Casey shock that him, Evan Buckley, made it? Or just surprise in general? "A life time ago, Captain." Buck replies as not seeing any disbelief, most like admiration. With deep breath and a small smile, he exits and heads toward the door.
*O*O*
Forgoing a shower for now—too distracted-, Kelly sits in his recliner and tries his best to ignore the meeting in Boden's office, as he focuses on his team of idiots. Okay, they aren't idiots, loveable fools more like it, but man, he wonders about them at times. Right now, Capp and Tony are attempting to… well, Kelly isn't too sure what they're trying to do with that boot. Honestly, Kelly has no interest in finding out what, as that usually ends up with his head hurting. "Should we be scared?" he directs at Cruz, who looks just as confused.
Cruz, who has been ignoring the two, glances over his shoulder and just smiles. He bobs his head back and forth, tossing the question around in his head. "Probably, but I'm sure it will be fine. What is the worst they can do?"
The lieutenant panders that thought for a second, forcing his glaze to Cruz. "Plenty."
A second goes by before he grudgingly spits out, "True." Cruz meets Kelly's eyes and holds it for a second before he goes, "I should probably check on them before they set the firehouse on fire."
"Isn't that Herrmann's job?" Stella shots out as she steps out onto the floor. She shots Kelly a warm smile and a wave.
From somewhere inside the station, there's a miffed shout from a certain lieutenant. "I heard that!"
Kelly shakes his head and opens his mouth to speak, but when he spots Voight and Ruzek walking out of the firehouse, his mouth snaps shut, and he hops to his feet. His thought swirling, he takes a few mindless steps forward, his eyes focused on the man. The two CPD officers pay no attention to the firefighters as they head to their vehicles, chatting among themselves. For Kelly, they're walking away far too comfortable, their shoulders high; though, he can admit that anything short of Boden's foot up their ass is far short of his likening.
"You okay over there?" Stella asks, stepping back to Kelly. "Your eye is twitching." She playfully pokes at the side of his face.
Startled, Kelly bats Stella's hand away gently. "What?" he utters loudly.
"You just seemed off all day. Is everything okay?"
Short answer, no. Kelly is not okay. He hasn't been okay since Buck bolted from the car the night before. He has no idea what to make of the short yet powerful kiss, which is driving him nuts. No matter how many hours pass, he can still feel the slight warm tingle of Evan's lips on his. That kiss—even the very thought of it—sends warmth through his entire body, and he cherishes that sensation, but on the other hand, it leaves him in a daze, him not knowing what to do with that. He can't just forget it; however, if Buck wants to, Kelly will. "Yea, just wondering about those two." He nods toward Voight and Ruzek.
Stella, her eyes narrowing, follows his glaze to the officers. "I am sure whatever it is, Boden won't let it get out of hand."
That is what Kelly is hoping for, but a part of him thinks it's too late, especially when he spots Buck a few moments later, looking like a kicked puppy. The ex-Floater is standing at his full height, but there's something in his shoulder that worries the lieutenant. His first intent is to rush to his side and check in, but something stops Kelly in his tracks. What is he supposed to say to Evan? With the kiss still lingering, he doesn't want to make Buck uncomfortable. "I have faith in Boden." And while he hates to admit it, he can trust Voight to some degree as that man will protect those under his commands.
"But if you ever need to talk, Kelly, I am here." Stella adds, spotting the concern on his face. "Or we can always toss a few drinks together."
Off in the distance—at the end of the driveway-, Buck takes out his cellphone and stares idly at the screen. It's too far to make out the expression on his face, but Kelly can tell it isn't a smile. Kelly takes a step back and shakes his head, as he puts on a smile. "Excuse me for a second." He spots Casey in front of the dispatch and makes his way toward him, without waiting for a response from Stella. "Cas, can we chat?"
*O*O*
Casey shuts the door to his office, turns to his desk, and motions to his bed as he leans against his desk. "I assume this is about Buck?" He hums, rising his hand up to silence Kelly. "Don't let your panties get twisted. I won't call it fine, but we talked it out and Boden is keeping a very close eye on it."
The analyzing look his best friends gives him shoots through Kelly, and it's almost like Casey can see all of his secrets, not that Kelly keeps many things from him. However, for now, he has avoided telling Casey about the kiss, though that is more due to the fact that his tongue feels like a brick. He can't wrap his tongue around the word 'Kiss'. "Buck isn't a cop. He shouldn't be dragged into whatever this is." He throws his arms up, his anger and frustration rolling off him.
"Calm down. We're all on the same page." Huffing, Casey folds his arms across his chest. "While Buck and I came in late for the conversation, Boden and I made that clear."
Kelly bites down the inside of his cheeks. There're a million things he wants to ask, but he settles with, "How is Buck with all of this? I know it surprised him when Ruzek ambushed him with that 'meeting'."
Casey, narrowing his eyes, takes a moment to answer, as he collects his thoughts. "He says he's okay with it, but you'll have to talk with him. Something tells me he'll be more honest with you than us."
Kelly exhales, the image of Buck bolting flashes before his eyes. It's all very interesting how fast Buck and him clicked and how normal it felt-feels. It's also a badge of honor for the lieutenant that Buck feels safe enough to open up. Suddenly, the word that was heavy minutes ago explodes from him. "Buck kissed me." he shoots out, his entire body shaking. At first, the world stops, and the temperature drops 20 degrees. Next, he's met with silence, a stunned silence, as Matt's facial expression bounces between several emotions, which drives Kelly crazy. A minute goes by before Kelly demands, "Say something."
The Captain's mouth opens and shuts a several times before it snaps shut and he settles with, "Did you like it?"
Exhaling, Kelly turns away from Casey's scrutinizing glaze and glowers at the wall. The simple answer is yes, but simple doesn't exist in this world, not with Buck pulling away like he has been burn. To admit it will just hurt, and yet, he wants to scream it from the roof top like some stupid romance movie. Taking another deep and shaky breath, Kelly struggles to get the heavy words out, and his throat chokes on them. Casey waits patiently on Kelly's answer, eyeing the lieutenant's chest as he takes a few deep breaths. It takes a few attempts before he swallows deeply and goes, "yes."
"Okay." Casey states after a deep breath.
"Just okay?! I got kissed by a guy and liked it. Liked it! And I only get an okay? An okay?" Kelly asks, getting heated, his face blood red. "A damn okay?" He throws his arms up in the air.
Matt narrows his eyes and studies the panic that lined Kelly. "Sure, it's a bit shocking that Kelly- the ladies' man—Severide is into a man, but…" He shakes his head and lets out a full body laugh. "I've been watching you ogle Buck for a while now. While it's a bit shocking, I knew it was only a matter of time. You grinned like an idiot whenever he's around." He pauses, tossing an idea around in his head. "So, is it all men or just Buckley?"
Four seconds pass before Kelly huffs gently and spits out. "Buck. Just Buck."
Matt, confused, nods and eyes the loopy expression on his best friend's face. "So, what is the issue?"
The issue?! A single issue? As to imply that there is only one issue? There're so many issues, but mainly, Buck bolted from him after the kiss and is currently keeping a distance... Or rather, it feels like it. Between back-to-back calls, Kelly hasn't been able to get two words in with the man. Sure, some of it can be explained as a busy day, but Buck has very pointedly avoided his glaze, looking anywhere else but him. "He told me to forget the kiss and didn't allow me to respond. He literally jumped out of my car to avoid me." Besides the ending, the day had been perfect, the smiles on Buck's face breathtaking, and a part of him breaks, thinking about how it ended with Buck avoiding him.
His eyes shifting to the bunk room, Casey stares at the few tired firefighters, who chose to lay down for a quick nap. It may still be a bit early, but you have to get the sleep in when you can. "It sounds like you need to have a conversation with him."
Kelly groans viciously, bordering on the edge of pain. "What am I supposed to say to him?" He snapes as he throws his arms up the air and takes a large step away from Casey.
The Captain tilts his head to the side and gives Kelly a long-calculated stare. "Just be honest with him. You know what you want, and while we don't know what Buck's going through, he did kiss you. It wasn't an accident." He pauses. "He's probably embarrassed, ashamed of himself. Considering everything he…" He stops himself dead in his thoughts.
Whipping around at the abrupt silence, Kelly stares at Casey, his expression blank. It doesn't take long for Kelly to determine why. Matt is keeping Buck's confidence, he reasons to himself. Kelly wouldn't expect anything else from the Captain. "Buck told me everything." He isn't sure what exactly Buck told Casey, as his conversation with the ex-floater was tough for Buck to get it out. However, he knows Casey knows some of it.
At first, Casey's looked skeptical, his eyes picking apart Kelly's expression for any kind of deceit, but it doesn't last before a gently smile starts to form. "Good. Glad he opened up to someone."
Kelly agrees with that wholeheartedly. While Buck needs all the friends he can get, he's grateful he can be that trustful friend to Evan. "He needs friends more than whatever I am going through."
"While I can't deny that, you still need to be open with him. Talk with him." Casey speaks. "An honest conversation."
"I will." With a renewed determination, Kelly nods.
*O*O*
For the next hour, Kelly keeps a vigilant eye out for Buck, but that man is exhibiting how truly squirrelly he can be, which isn't too surprising. That man can be very squirrelly. Buckley has been keeping a wide berth, sticking with Ritter and Gallo, and strategically leaving the room when Kelly steps too close. The first time it happens, Kelly doesn't even have time to move an inch before Buck comes up with some excuse and leaves. Besides Casey, no one else seems to have noticed, too engrained into their own conversation. However, it repeatedly happens every time Buck spots Kelly: departing the room immediately. At first, Kelly has the urge to hog tie that man, and he is this close in doing so, but Casey, deadpanning, tells him that's illegal.
"Sev…." Matt, amused, shakes his head. "That's how you get arrested. Not visiting you in jail."
Kelly grins. "For some people, that is foreplay." The words just flow from his mouth, and his thoughts turn dirty.
Casey's face scrunches up. "Kelly, Urgh!" he otters, painfully, as he waves his best friend off and walks away. "There are certain images that I never want to imagine and that is one of them."
Initially, Kelly didn't intend for that to be so sexual, but it get his head spinning, and by spinning, he means random images of ropes and Buck popping up, which is the last think he needs right now. "Love you too." After sarcastically waving off his best friend, Kelly continues on his mission to find and corner Buck. He starts to take another lap around the entire station house, though only taking a step, until he spots Buck with Brett and Foster smushed together on the bench in the back of the Ambo. Brett is showing Buck the setup while Foster watches and adds comments from the side. There's a smile shared between the three, a bubbly chatter, and Kelly can't help but feel jealous and envious. Stop it. He tells at himself. Shaking his head, he tosses out those thoughts and makes his way over to the three.
Buck's head pops up at the sound of Kelly's footsteps—the lieutenant surprised that Buck could hear his steps over Brett and Foster. The world narrowing, their eyes met and Buck freezes. A long second passes, their eyes locked, before Buck suddenly looks away and clumsily wipes his hands on his leg, murmuring something to Brett and Foster before he makes the effort to stand. However, the second he gets to his feet, the bell rings, kicking everyone into action.
*O*O*
The call was simple, and they're back at the station, though Kelly isn't any luckier with cornering Buck. Ritter, Gallo and Buck—pointedly ignoring Kelly- go directly into the kitchen to prepare a complicated dinner, the day flying pass them. Any attempt of drawing Buck away seems pointless and utterly impossible with Ritter and Gallo bookending him. Honestly, Kelly has no interest in pulling Buck out, a mile long smile gracing his face. He can't hear what the trio are saying, but he doesn't want to disturb the ex-Floater, who currently taste testing something on his finger. Instead, he just sits back and waits, though he doesn't sit on his ass for long.
Being 51, there's no down time, and they receive two more calls, kicking them into action. By the time they get back, night has fallen, and everyone is exhausted, dead on their feet. With the dinner forgotten, a few immediately hop into the shower, while the others fall into bed. With a heavy exhaustion lining his bones, Kelly decides against bothering the yawning Buckley and heads straight to his bed, but when he sees Buck sneak out of the bunk room, Kelly waits a few seconds before he jumps to his feet and sneaks out of his officer quarters and tiptoes out. For the most part, no one pays any attention to him except the lone pair of eyes: Stella. She gives him a light, warm smile.
Returning the smile, Kelly exits the bunk room and heads to the apparatus floor, following the sound of Buck's footsteps. In the light dim, he scans the quiet floor for Buck, and for a second, he believes his luck has run out—not that he had any today regarding Buck, but suddenly, he sees the tail end of Buck disappearing into the coat room. While he didn't get a glimpse of his darling face, Kelly knows that ass from anywhere. Okay, that sounds a bit creepy…. Or a sign that he has been staring at Buck's ass too much.
Shaking his head, Kelly quickly crosses to the close the door of the turnout gear room. He scans the floor before he steps into the small room and closes the door behind him. It latches loudly, the clicking stretching across the small room, and startles the Ex-Floater, who looks up like a deer in headlights. "Hey, Evan." Kelly gives him a soft wave.
Said man stiffs up and slowly turns around, his face bright red. "Kel—Lieutenant Severide," He shutters.
"Kelly," Kelly corrects softly as he gives Buck a gentle smile.
Buck takes a shaky breath. "D-Did you need something?"
While Kelly isn't a fan of Buck's nerviness, at least, he isn't cowering, asking what he has done wrong. "Just want to talk."
In an instant, the color completely drains from Buck's face. He opens his mouth then closes it and opens it again, which he repeats several times. Then suddenly, he goes stiff, and his face goes completely blank. "T-this is about the kiss."
"Yes."
Buck twists away, his head down and his eyes on the ground. He croaks. "I'm s-sorry. I'm so sorry. It…I…Am…" That's all the words Buck is able to get out… Well, more specifically, that's the only thing Kelly can make out, everything a mumble.
Kelly watches the total melt down in front of him—Buck's rocking back and forth on his feet- for a second before his own feet started to move beneath him, closing the distance between them in no time. He barely recognizes the sound of his own footsteps, his focus only on the panicky man in front of him. "Evan." He states gently but firmly. The younger man stops, his eyes large and wet when they met Kelly's, which breaks his heart, but he doesn't give Buck the chance to respond or him time to think. He grabs Buck by the shoulder, pulls him close and plants a kiss to Buck's warm lips.
At first, Buck goes stiff and stares into Kelly's eyes, mouthing something against his lips, but after a few awkward seconds, he closes his eyes and leans into the kiss. With Buck returning the kiss, everything nerve in the lieutenant is on fire and Kelly is loving every minute of it, especially when Buck's fist ball up in his polo shirt, his nails scraping his skin. With his chest airy and tight, he doesn't know what heaven is, but this feels close.
Author's note
So to reward you for waiting so long, I gave you all a kiss... Well, not me. A kiss between Buck and Kelly! I hope you like it.
Let me know what you think. Sorry if the end of the chapter feels a little rush, just wanted to get this out.
