"Youth is a lie. It is nothing but evil.
Those of you who rejoice in youth are perpetually deceiving yourselves and those around you. You perceive everything about the reality surrounding you in a positive light. Even life-threatening mistakes will be remembered as single page proofs of your youth.
I'll give you an example. If such people were to dabble in criminal acts such as shoplifting or mass rioting, it would be called 'youthful indiscretion.' If they were to fail an exam, they would say school is not only a place for studying. Their pursuit of 'youth' excuses even distortions of commonly held beliefs and social norms.
Under their discretion, lies, secrets, crimes and even failure are nothing but the spice of one's youth. And in their corrupt ways, they discover something peculiar about failure. They conclude that while their own failures are generally a part of relishing in youth, others' failures should be shot down as just failures and nothing more.
If failure is seen proof of one's youth, isn't it strange not to consider those who fail to make friends as experiencing the height of their youth? Not that they acknowledge that.
It amounts to nothing. This is simply opportunism. Therefore, it is a sham, full of damnable lies, deception, secrets and fraud.
They are evil.
That is to say, ironic as it is, those who do not glorify their youth are the truly righteous ones.
In conclusion: riajuu, go blow yourselves up."
Hachiman was summoned on the Guidance Counselor's Office. Though he didn't know why, he went along with it and we're on this situation where we are now.
"Hikigaya, would you please be kind and explain this abomination called your essay?" Hiratsuka said with irritation present in her voice. She rubbed her temples to relieve her stress. "You were asked to write an essay reflecting on your high school life. What is this then?"
Hachiman wasn't sure what's the problem though. His essay, though a bit negative, was the way he sees his high school life. "Is there a problem with my essay? Is the grammar wrong?" Hachiman asked. "Really, you write something like this then ask about the grammar?" The rubbing on Hiratsuka's temple now increased its intensity. "Seriously, what should I do with you? Your essay is just utter shit."
"Yeah, like your taste in men." Hachiman realized what he said after saying it. Hiratsuka sprung from her seat to inflict justice on poor Hachiman. Thinking that a quick punch to the gut would do the job, Hiratsuka cocked her fist as she sprung up.
*thwap* the sound of a fist hitting flesh resounded the room. Confident that he learned his lesson Hiratsuka looked up only to see a questioning face. "What are you doing, Hiratsuka-sensei?" Hachiman asked. Hiratsuka was surprised. "You're supposed to keel over with that, how are you standing?" She questioned. Hachiman, thankful that he works his body out, replied. "Well it's the benefit of working out. Are you thinking that I'll keel over just because you punched me? You'll need someone as strong as Kenshiro to bring me down." Hachiman goads.
"Fist of the North Star huh, you got a good taste." Hiratsuka said as she went back to sitting. "I'm sorry for the quip Sensei, I didn't mean it." Hachiman apologized. "Men should be falling in line to marry someone as beautiful as you." Hiratsuka, failing to understand that it's a compliment, raged again. "What did you say?!" Hachiman seeing that she misunderstood what he said, just said "I'm sorry. That was meant to be a compliment." He waved his hands to dispel the rage of his teacher. "Men don't flock on me, I don't know why. Maybe it's because I'm past my prime." Hiratsuka's rage turned to sadness.
"You have it that bad huh Sensei?" Hachiman mumbled. "Looks like I have a long road ahead of me to understand people." Hiratsuka heard his mumbles and then gets a bright idea. Standing up, Hiratsuka motions Hachiman to follow him. "Follow me." Hiratsuka walked off, with Hachiman in tow.
Curious as to where they are going, Hachiman raised a question. "Where are we going, Hiratsuka-sensei?"
"Just shut up and follow me. This is your punishment for writing that horrendous essay of yours." Hiratsuka told him to shut up. Walking for about 5 minutes, Hiratsuka stopped in front of a door. Opening the door, Hachiman heard a female's voice. "Hiratsuka-sensei, please knock before coming in." When Hachiman entered, he saw a girl that he immediately knew.
The long black hair, the ribbon on her shoulder, the face that he clearly remembers, ever since he seen it back at the entrance ceremony. The daughter of a government official, with enough power to influence school's decision.
Yukinoshita Yukino.
When Hachiman remembered, irritation immediately bubbled. The girl, Yukino, looked irritated as she heard Hiratsuka's reply. "Well you never answer when I knock, so I just barge in."
"That's because you never wait for my answer." The girl sitting in the middle of the room bit barked back. Hachiman, who was still quiet, was silently watching the two bicker. "So, what brings you here Hiratsuka-sensei?"
"This guy." The teacher grabbed Hachiman. "I want you to change his view on the world." Yukino, intrigued by what her teacher said, asked a question. "What did he do now?" Hiratsuka then explained the atrocities he did, which made Hachiman's irritation levels go higher. 'Calm down Hachiman, it's not good to lash out on people. Deep breaths, deep breaths.' Hachiman thought as he tried to calm down. His face, perfectly practiced to not reveal emotions, remained stoic.
"So, you want me to "fix" his rotten outlook on the world?" Yukino asked, to which Hiratsuka nodded. "Can't I say no to that?"
"That's a request from me." Hiratsuka answered. Hachiman then observe the two again in silence. "I'm going to make him join this club."
"What? Join what now?" Hachiman tried to protest. His teacher won't have of it though. "This is your punishment for giving me that god awful essay. Don't try to bullshit your way out of this." Was the stern reply to his plea. "As you can see, his eyes are so dead that it puts Ryuk's to shame." Yukino raised an eyebrow to that statement.
"Ryuk? I wish I had his powers, so I can just vanish and go home already." Hachiman said. Hiratsuka then clapped her hands, gaining the attention of the two. "So, I want you to fix it!" Hiratsuka joyfully said, dismissing the man's remark.
""I refuse./Daga kotowaru!"" Was the reply the teacher got from the two. Amazed at the taste in anime of the young man beside her, Hiratsuka asked the sitting girl. "Why?"
"I don't feel safe near that eyes of his, I fear that if you leave us alone, he'll has his way and ravage me. Those eyes looks like it has a hundred different plans to do so." Hearing her reply, Hachiman, who was immune to insults since he was younger, can't help but get irritated more. Still, Hachiman remained silent. "Don't worry, he might look like a criminal, but the only thing that scarier than his looks is his outlook on life, he's a street thug at best." Hiratsuka said, trying to calm down the girl. While not that much successful on doing so, she successfully added fuel to the fire that was Hachiman's irritation. "A thug huh, then I'll have no choice but to accept your request, Sensei." Yukino relented. Getting the outcome she wanted, Hiratsuka walked towards the door.
"I'll leave him in your care then." The teacher said before exiting. With the two left to their own devices, Hachiman grabbed a chair, plopped himself down, and started reading his light novel.
Minutes after he started, he glanced at the girl, who is looking at him with an annoyed face. "What?" He asked.
"Won't you even ask what this club is?" The annoyed girl answered. Hachiman, who already have an idea about the club by using his deductive reasoning, answered back. "This club has something to do with requests, based on your interaction with Hiratsuka-sensei earlier." Surprised that he had a basic idea of what the club, Yukino explained further. "That's right, this is a club that handles requests." Yukino stands up. "There are people who in the goodness of their hearts, help those who are in need. The society calls for volunteers, we help those who are in need even if we get nothing in return." The girl took two steps towards him. "That is why this club exists." Hachiman observed that her hair fluttered as wind blew behind her. Extending her hand towards him, Yukino continued. "Welcome to the Service Club. I was requested to fix that rotten attitude of yours, so be thankful that I will help."
"Why isn't it named the Volunteers Club then? The name of this club sounds confusing. Service? Do you escort people around the school? Even Breakfast Club sounds less confusing." Hachiman reasoned.
"How many years has it been since you last talked to a girl?" Yukino asks, confidently thinking that the boy in front of him haven't had any contact with a female outside his family. Hachiman was puzzled by the question, but decided to answer. "Not counting family and Hiratsuka-sensei, I guess after the classes ended." This surprised the girl, who went back to her seat after she asked. Silence returned as Yukino went back to reading her book, while Hachiman browsed the internet through his phone.
Minutes passed without anything significant happening, Hachiman was getting bored. He stopped browsing the net to ask her a question. "Isn't this the Service Club? Then where are the requests?" Yukino however, ignored the question. Seeing that he won't get any answers, he decided to ask another question. "Didn't you hear me?"
"Are you talking to me?" Yukino questioned. Hachiman was tempted to quip back, but just nodded his head. "Oh, I assumed you weren't since I'm not addressed in your question." She continued. Hachiman, realizing that he hadn't introduced himself, quickly spoke. "I'm sorry, but my name is-"
"I know who you are." Yukino cut him off. "You're from Class 2F and the highest ranked in all subjects." Hachiman sensed hatred in her voice, but he continued to listen. "You're Hikigaya Hachiman, right?" Yukino couldn't forget the man who beat her in the entrance exams. She was berated by her mother, saying that she was a disappointment compared to her sister. "So you know me? I'm somehow flattered that you do know me, Yukinoshita Yukino." Yukino wanted to ask how does he know her, but remembered that she was popular so she didn't bother. "Since you are looking for something to do, then why don't we start by fixing your problem?"
"If you think that I have a problem, just because of a "horrible" essay according to Hiratsuka-sensei, then you're wrong." Hachiman emphasized the word horrible. He went off, irritation present in his voice. "Tell me, oh great Yukino, what's wrong with me? Grades? If I recall correctly, I am ranked first in all subjects, above you, and higher even than the third years." Hachiman breathed. "Looks? Yeah I admit that I might look like a criminal, but that's a great reason for me to have friends that will look past my look and accept me for who I am."
"Do you even have friends?" Yukino tried to fight back.
"I have, she's a classmate of mine right now." Hachiman answered. "Look, just because my outlook on society is cynic, doesn't mean there's something wrong with me. I only agreed to come and stay here because I have respect for Hiratsuka-sensei, which is getting smaller and smaller the more I stay here." Hachiman placed his light novel back on his bag, before continuing. "How about you? Why are you alone here? If you're alone here, reading to pass time, then isn't there a problem? You have good looks, good grades, why are you a loner? Looking at your interaction with Hiratsuka-sensei and mine earlier, I assume that the reason you're a loner is that you're a pompous know-it-all that will insult people on a whim. You're probably just the same as your parents, who for some reason used their influence to make sure you're the one who speaks at the entrance ceremony." Hikigaya finished, revealing the answer to one of the girl's questions. Yukino, who was shocked about the last part of his statement, quickly forgot about it as she fired back in defense of his earlier words.
"You don't understand a single thing about me, you creep. Do not speak as if you knew me." Yukino then spoke again. "If you continue that mindset of yours, then your social life will be non-existent by the time you turn 20."
"How about you? Aren't you the same, Ice Queen?" Hachiman's irritation has long been gone, now laughing at her. Hachiman just fought back since he was getting belittled, defending himself and not backing down from verbal spars. Couple that with Hachiman being competitive, then it's the reason why he humored her and fought back. Hiratsuka, having heard enough, barged in again.
"Hiratsuka-sensei, knock!" Yukino turned her attention to the sudden arrival of the teacher.
"Sorry, but it looks like you're having a problem fixing his attitude." Hiratsuka spoke. Yukino shook her head, stress present on her face. "It's because he doesn't realize he has problems."
"Okay no that's just ridiculous." Hachiman interjected. "If you think I'll conform to society and change just to fit in, you guys are wrong. I already know and accept my flaws, and I'm trying my best to work things out. I won't change because others told me to." Hachiman stared resolutely to the two.
Yukino, fired a response. "You're just running away then." Hiratsuka smiled at the girl's remark.
Hachiman, who was previously staring at the two, was now using his phone to check the time. Seeing the time, Hachiman then expected an explanation for what the girl in front of him said. When he didn't get any, the young man looked disappointed at Yukino. "You're wrong. Accepting who you are and your flaws is not running away. Changing my values to simply 'fit in' is. Only after accepting your flaws then you would be able to change, not for others, but for yourself." Hearing Hachiman's reasoning, Hiratsuka was deep in thought.
Yukino on other hand, clenched her fists and tried to rebuke. "That's…" unable to quickly find words, she glanced at the man in front of her, who is looking with a disappointed look. "That doesn't solve anything, nor does it help anyone either." Hachiman was surprised by the amount of passion behind Yukino's words.
Hiratsuka then clapped to get the attention of the two. "Calm down you two." Getting their attention, she cleared her throat to speak again. "For times like this when opposite opinions clash and collide, there's only one way to resolve it."
"What is it?" It was Yukino who asked.
"To settle things through a good old fashioned battle, like those in the mangas!" Hachiman winced. 'Really, a tournament arc? Is this why she's still single?' He thought.
Yukino who was not well versed with mangas, asked another question. "What do you mean, Hiratsuka-sensei?"
"We'll settle this by putting you two head to head. I'll send some troubled lambs who needs help, and whoever helps the most wins. The winner will be able to do whatever they like to the loser." Hachiman, who noticed the sexual implications of what his Sensei said, had another thought. 'On other thought, this might be the primary reason she's single, not her otakuness.'
"I refuse." Yukino spoke. "I fear my chastity if he's going to be my opponent." To emphasize her point, she shielded her non-existent bust. Hiratsuka looked at the lone man in the room, who shrugged his shoulders.
"Stop making everything suggestive, Hiratsuka-sensei." But then, Hiratsuka thought of a way to lure the reluctant girl. "So even the great Yukinoshita Yukino has something she can't do huh?" This made the girl turn her head in Hiratsuka's direction. "Getting cold feet, Yukino?" The teacher smiled as she sent a teasing look at the girl.
Sighing, Yukino replied to her teacher. "Even though it's a hollow provocation, which I don't like…" She then sent a hard stare to Hiratsuka, showing her determination. "I will accept this battle." Hachiman who was watching the interaction of the two, was thinking again. 'Poor girl, such an easy creature to manipulate.'
Hiratsuka, who was happy with what she heard, clapped her hands again. "Well that settles it."
"That's it? If you can see, I haven't agreed to participate yet." Hachiman spoke. The teacher sent a look of disbelief.
"Huh?" Hiratsuka walked towards Hachiman's front. "You don't agree with this arrangement, Hikigaya?" Hachiman, whose irritation was already dissipated, was irritated now again. "So now you want my opinion?"
"Don't try to be a smartass Hikigaya, remember this is your punishment, you don't get a say in this." She rebuked.
Hachiman sighed and pulled out a piece of paper and began writing. Seeing his actions, Hiratsuka was bewildered by what his student was doing. "What are you doing?" Even Yukino, who was keeping silent, can't help but ask. Hachiman didn't answer though, and continued to write.
Five minutes of silence followed. The two female, who were surprised, weren't able to do anything. But observe the young man. Finally running out of patience, Hiratsuka this time asked Hachiman. "What are you doing, Hikigaya?" She slammed her left hand in front of the writing Hachiman.
"Done." Hachiman murmured loud enough for the two to hear. Still puzzled at his actions, all they could do was stare at him with questioning gaze. Checking the paper for mistakes, which there aren't any, Hachiman stood up and gave the paper to Hiratsuka. "Here's the rewritten essay." Hachiman then stretched. "This entire debacle could've been averted if I just rewrote this damned essay in the first place." Grabbing his bag, Hachiman then proceeded to exit the room. Before exiting the room, Hachiman left a last remark. "You wanted to see a "proper" essay, which is what the contents of that paper were." Hachiman breathed. "If that's what teachers will accept, then I fear that the Japanese education system is doomed." Hachiman finished, bowing to show his respect. He closed the door and left.
Hiratsuka, stunned with what the boy displayed, quickly examined the contents of the rewritten essay. Seeing a perfectly written essay that felt too formal and manufactured, she quickly ran to catch up with the writer of the essay. The paper, who was left on the table by a running Hiratsuka, was picked up by Yukino.
Seeing the young man from earlier, Hiratsuka shouted to catch his attention. "Hikigaya! Wait up!" This didn't do what she hoped it would, so she ran faster to catch up with the student. When she reached Hachiman, she grabbed him by the arm. "I said… wait!" Hiratsuka said in between labored breaths. Hachiman, surprised at what his Sensei was doing, asked. "What are you doing, Sensei?"
"Why did you leave?" Hachiman heard another question. "What do you mean by that, Sensei?" Hachiman answered with a question. "You want me to go back to that place, where you and that Yukinoshita ridicule my ideals, because my ideals aren't the same as yours? If you think that I'm that much of a spineless doormat, then I'll have you know that I am not." He takes a deep breath before continuing. "If you guys will just treat me as a lesser being just because my ideals are different than yours, then not only you're ridiculous, but also a hypocrite, Sensei." Hachiman finished. Hiratsuka, who never in her life as a teacher heard such words spoken to her, felt every word stab her heart.
Silence followed, as the teacher contemplated what he said. When she can't handle it anymore, she was forced to ask the young man she's currently holding. "Why?" She started. "Why do you think I'm a hypocrite?"
"Because aren't you the guidance counselor? Shouldn't you be fair and just to all students? You shouldn't ridicule a student in the first place, let alone just because a student had different ideals than yours."
"But I just wanted to help!" Hiratsuka can't manage to keep her calm, and shouted. Hachiman, still having an ounce of respect for her, replied in a normal manner. "Look Hiratsuka-sensei, I appreciate the gesture, but I don't need your help." Hearing the words she didn't want to hear, the teacher then fired back. "But I really just wanted to help. Trust me on this Hikigaya, I swear you're going to be a better person once this ends. We had the club back then, and it worked for me."
Hachiman, hearing a surprising information about his teacher, can't help but ask. "Really? From what I can see, it really didn't do much."
"But it did! I became a responsible member of society after I was done with the club back then."
"Are you happy?" Hachiman questions. "From what I can observe, you're not." Hiratsuka felt slapped at what he said. She started reflecting on her current self. Hachiman tried to walk, but the strong grip of his teacher made him unable to walk away. After a while, it was Hiratsuka who spoke. "I'm sorry."
"For what?" Hachiman was wondering why. "I'm sorry that both me and Yukino ridiculed you." She let go of his arm. Hachiman, seeing the sincerity in the eyes of his teacher, can't help but sigh.
"Look Sensei, out of my remaining respect for you, I'll join that damned club of yours." Hiratsuka can't help but smile on his remark. "Really?" She looked like a kid who got permission to get the candy she liked. "Yeah. But I'm not going back there today, I'll go back tomorrow."
"I'm okay with that." Hiratsuka then held his hands. "Look Hikigaya, you won't regret this, I promise." She softly said.
"I wish I won't." Hachiman replied. "So, can I go home now?" Hiratsuka, who realized she was holding his hands, quickly let go and blushed in embarrassment. "R-Right, take care going home Hikigaya, I won't forgive you if you get hit by a truck then you won't come tomorrow."
Hachiman laughed off her remark. "You too Sensei, take care." Hachiman then walked home.
"Good afternoon." Hachiman said as he opened the door. The lone occupant of the room, noticing the unexpected arrival of him, gasped. "Didn't think you'd come back. If by any chance, are you a masochist?" The girl then went back to reading as she turned to another page.
"No." Hachiman replied as he pulled a chair to sit on. He grabbed his light novel from his bag to read. "Why are you back here then? Are you a stalker?" The intrigued female asked. Hachiman, who is also reading, never left his eyes on the page he's reading as he answered her question. "You think I'm going to stalk you? Get off your high horse woman."
"Then, are you perhaps here to confess?" Hachiman, hearing the question, visibly winced. The action of the male made Yukino ask another question. "Why are you wincing?"
"You think I'll confess to you? Are you forgetting our interaction yesterday?" Hachiman answered. He adjusted his seat to face the reading Yukino. "Why are you here then?" She asked. Closing his novel, Hachiman then spoke. "I'm here because of my respect for Hiratsuka-sensei. She wanted me to try and be here, so I respected her wishes and stayed." Hachiman then examined the cover art of the novel he brought. "Just because I seem to have ulterior motives for coming back here, doesn't mean I have, don't you have any friends?" He questioned.
"Well, let's start by what the definition of a friend is." Yukino stood up and walked to the window. Hachiman who heard what she spoke had a thought. 'What the hell, even I had a couple of friends!'
"Don't." Hachiman stopped her from speaking. "You seem to be attractive enough to be famous, why don't you have any friends?" Yukino, hearing his question, closed her eyes as memories from the past came forth. "You're not going to understand." She started. "It's because I am cute." Hachiman was thrown in a loop. 'This is probably the reason she doesn't have friends. Her oujo-ness is off charts!' Hachiman tried to gauge it, but his mental measurements exceeded the threshold. 'Her hubris is over 8000!' Yukino continued to speak. "My attractiveness always made sure that guys my age always developed such attraction towards me."
"Let me guess, other girls got jealous and made you an outcast then?" Even though her face his not on his view, Hachiman easily noticed the subtle nod of the girl. "I used to have female acquaintances, but when they learned that the person they liked had feelings for me, they quickly left." Yukino then walked towards the cabinet where her belongings are. "Back when I was in elementary school, my indoor shoes were hid by other kids sixty times." She breathed before continuing. "Among those sixty times, fifty were from girls. Because of that, I always took my indoor shoes with me home, to ensure that no one will try that again." The girl went back to her seat.
'Sixty times, that's so messed up. But then again, kids are the cruelest of creatures.' Hachiman, who didn't understand such a problem, still empathized with the other occupant of the room. "That's rough."
"I understood their intentions. It was because of my cuteness after all." The girl then spoke again. "In this world, it was the talented that has it rough." Hachiman, who was observing her, raised an eyebrow. "It doesn't make any sense does it? Why would the talented have it rough when they are talented?" Hearing more and more passion from her voice, Hachiman continued to listen. "That's why I'm going to change the world and everyone in it."
Hachiman wanted to laugh, but he knew better than to laugh on her dreams. "That's a nice dream and all, but don't you think it's a bit too much? Even Aang tried to do that, but still failed." Yukino, who is unfamiliar with the name he said, questioned him. "Who's this Aang you're talking about?"
"The Avatar."
"The Avatar? What is that?" Hachiman realized that the girl in front of him lacked knowledge about such matters that he quickly spoke to clarify it a bit. "What I meant it, that even greater men have tried and failed to achieve such things."
'Men?!' Offended by the remark, Yukino snapped back. "Are you saying that I won't be able to change the world because I'm a woman?! You're just as misogynistic as you are a creep!"
"No, I used men in that statement to indicate humans. Stop referring to my statement as misogynist." Hachiman clarified. "Also, stop enforcing the world your ideals of a utopia when many have tried that before." He added. Yukino who have calmed down from the offending remark from earlier, fired back. "It's better than your cynicism, and you're rotten outlook on the world."
Hachiman, who was browsing the internet in search of cute cat videos, was enjoying their debate. Even if it was a bit personal, it's much better than silence.
Said silence returned when Hachiman chose to focus on cat videos, making the atmosphere of the room tense. With unease filling the room, the two occupants continued to do what they were doing.
A knock on the door caught their attention. Yukino remembering her manners, spoke first. "Come in."
"Excuse me." A pink haired girl, who Hachiman recognized as someone from his class, entered. The girl, bubbly spoke. "I, like, came here because Hiratsuka-sensei told me." The pink haired girl, noticing the lone man in the room, squawked and she jumped backward dramatically as her eyes widened. "What's Hikki doing here?!" The girl shouted.
'Who would have a nickname for someone they don't interact with?' Hachiman thought. He let it slide though, replying with a tame answer. "I'm a member here." Yukino, who grabbed a seat, motioned for the visitor to sit down. "You're Yuigahama Yui from 2F right?" The pink haired girl, now identified as Yui, was surprised. "Oh so you like, know me?"
Hachiman let out a quip. "I won't be surprised if she memorized all of the names of the students here." Hearing this, Yukino argued back. "You might be right, though I almost forgot your name." Hachiman, sensing an incoming verbal spar, fired another quip. "But you didn't, because you can't forget the name of the person above you." Seeing the reaction of the said receiver, whose eye twitched, he predicted a reply.
"It won't happen again." Yukino simply said. Hachiman, wanting something more than her reply, goaded her to speak more. "Ho, try as much as you like." The ravenette, who misinterpreted the remark as arrogance, spoke again. "That arrogance of yours will be your downfall."
"But it's not arrogance, it's confidence on my part. I work my ass off to study hard so I rank first. Hard work might not be equal to talent, but hard work will definitely beat talent alone."
"No one is perfect." Yukino replied.
"My exams are." Hachiman replied. "I'm as close to being perfect as I am." He added.
"Your mind works mysteriously. Are you sure you're not mentally deranged? Should I escort you to the nearest asylum?" Yukino smiled sinister, prompting the fish-eyed man to respond. "Your smile looks scarily like a witch does."
"Even if I was given a witch's powers, I don't think I could fix the deadness that your eyes have." Yukino quipped back. "I'd rather use it to make you a loyal slave of mine."
"Now I'm starting to have second thoughts when I'm near you."
"Funny, I had the same thought as you did the moment I saw those eyes of yours, Hikigaya-kun."
The pink haired girl, who was silent when the two was bickering, spoke in amazement. "This club is so cool!" This exclamation made the two stare at her in surprise.
"Hikki, you're totally running off your mouth." Yui pointed out. Hachiman, or Hikki as called by the pinkette, was unimpressed. "Oi."
Yui, who panicked because of the fear of offending the man, waved her hands to try and explain herself. "Well…" She started. "how you act in the class is so different you know? You always act so scary and creepy, that you look disgusting." Hachiman, who interpreted the words as insult, spoke. "Ugh, what a bitch."
"What?!" The fiery response, which seemed familiar to the boy, surprised even the listening Yukino. "Who are you calling a slut? For your information, I'm still a vir-" Realizing that she was going to say something embarrassing, she stopped and waved her hands again. "Wait, forget what I was about to say!" The fiery attitude now gone, replace with frantic hand waving.
"That is not actually a big deal, what's wrong with being a vir-" Yukino was forcefully cut off by a screaming Yui. "Ahhhhhh!" Standing up, she circled the still sitting ravenette to try and explain. "What are you talking about, it's very embarrassing you know? I'm already a second year, shouldn't my girl power be like, hard core?"
"That's a worthless ideal." Yukino spoke, very disappointed on the pinkette. Hachiman, called out the pinkette. "I surely hope you don't consider girl power as sleeping with other men easily, because that is what a bitch is."
"There it is again!" Yui snapped. "I can't believe how you can go around and call people bitch! That's like really gross and creepy, Hikki!" Hachiman, who is not impressed, folded his arms and fired back. "You're the one who gives nicknames to a person she doesn't even talk to, that makes you a bitch and a creep."
Yui, who turned red in the mention of the nickname, protested. "You're really mean! I can't believe what's happening right now!"
"What, you want to learn how to bake cookies?" In the home economics room of Sobu High, Hikigaya asked as he stared on the girls, who were wearing aprons. The two then stared back at him as Yukino answered his question. "Yuigahama-san apparently wanted someone to her handmade cookies." The ravenette started to prepare as she stared at the pinkette. The pinkette, getting shy, turned away from the stare and pouted. "Since she doesn't have confidence in her skills, she wanted us to help her. That is the nature of her request." Hachiman, who thought that was absurd, can't help but ask. "Don't you have any friends?" He stared at the silent girl. "Why don't you ask them for help?"
"Well…" The girl in question shyly spoke. "I don't want them to find out, it's embarrassing you know? They're not into this stuff."
"That's too bad."
"Yeah…" Yui said. "But that's why I came to you guys! Hiratsuka-sensei said you guys can grant wishes, right?" The ravenette, who was preparing the tools they're going to use, interjected. "Wrong. The Service Club will only assist, we do not bring the water to a thirsty man." Hachiman observes the actions of the club president. "Rather bring the man to the waters."
"That's like, so cool!" Yui exclaimed. Yukino, noticing the crooked apron of the pinkette, began fixing the apron. "You can't even put an apron correctly." The ravenette sighed, to which Yui laughed sheepishly. "Sorry about that, thanks."
Hachiman, who noticed that he has nothing to do, spoke to Yukino. "I guess you got this covered." The ravenette nodded and spoke. "Yes, now be a good boy and sit back, you'll be our taste tester once we're done." Hachiman, seeing that he got nothing to do, just sat down and watched the two bake.
Thirty minutes later, we see a stressed Yukino who is rubbing her temples as a plate of charcoal like cookies were beside her perfectly baked ones. Hachiman snickered. "How can you possibly screw up that many steps at once?" Walking towards the two, Hachiman picked up a charcoal cookie to examine it. The smell immediately wafted the nose of the male. 'This is really messed up beyond belief!'
Yukino eyed the male as he spoke again. "This cookie would be great, if you're planning to poison your friends." The mortified pinkette were given a nervous stare by the man. "Are you really planning to poison them?"
"What?! No!" Yui frantically waved her arms to deny the claims. She quickly snatched the one Hachiman was holding to examine it for herself. "These can't be that bad right?" The more she looked at the cookie, the more doubtful she became. "Well, maybe they are poisonous."
Yukino sent a glance towards Hachiman. "Do you think she will drop dead?" She asked as she watched the girl in question take a bite of the cookies. Hachiman, who adopted a thinking pose. "I don't think so, at most she will contract food poisoning, but it won't be fatal."
Yukino, who quickly prepped the tools to be used for the next batch, spoke. "So, let's think of methods to make it better."
"Maybe this time Yuigahama should use a timer so she doesn't turn it into rocks." Though in a mocking manner, Hachiman gave a legitimate suggestion. Yui on the other hand, had other ideas. "Maybe this isn't for me you know?" Her statement caused the two to look at her. "Like, I don't have a knack for this. I don't have the talent."
"The only way to do this is through hard work." It was Yui's turn to look at Yukino, who is sorting the ingredients. "Yuigahama-san, you said that you lack the talent right?" To this, the pinkette nodded in agreement. "Then fix that toxic mentality of yours." Yukino then fixed her hair ties. "Those who won't even try, do not have the right to ridicule or envy the talented." The ravenette then mixed the flour and water. "Those who fail to do so is because they cannot imagine the kind of effort put in by those who succeed." Hachiman agreed to the words she spoke.
"But everybody says that they don't want to cook these days." Yui begged to differ. "Maybe I'm not cut out for this stuff."
A loud clatter made Hachiman and Yui looked towards the source. Yukino dropped the whisker in annoyance. "Can you stop desperately trying to fit in?!" The ravenette then closed her eyes in an attempt to calm down. "I really don't like how you blame your clumsiness and stupidity to others." Yukino who calmed down and started whisking again.
Hachiman, who mostly agreed with what the ravenette said, can't help but be feel sympathy to the pinkette. The said pinkette was looking down, making her hair shadow her eyes. Hachiman, can see similarities upon himself and Yukino with how they berate others.
"That's…" Yui started speaking. "That's so cool!" Hachiman and Yukino, taken aback from her statement, looked at he like she had grown two extra heads. "You don't sugar coat things at all, which is like, so cool!"
Yukino, clearly nervous about what the pinkette said, replied. "Did you even hear what I said? I believe what I said towards you were harsh."
"It's true that your words were harsh." Yui spoke, adjusting the hem of the apron she's wearing. "But I felt that it came from your heart." She then looked down. "I could tell because I always tried to fit in you know?" The pinkette then clenched a fist, determination filling her. "Sorry, I promise I'll do my best this time.
Hachiman, seeing the determination from the girl, spoke to Yukino. "Teach her how to do it right.' Yukino, also seeing the girl's determination, sighed in acceptance. "Alright, I'll show you how it's done, so please try to follow."
An ecstatic Yui, pumped her fist in the air. "Yeah!"
Another thirty minutes passed, Hachiman saw a sulking Yukino, who hung her head in depression. "What should I do with her?" In front of her was a well made batch of cookies. Yui, who is currently pouting, stared at her own batch of cookies, not far from the first batch she made. "They're like, totes' different!"
Hachiman pondered on the nature of request. 'Why did she want to learn how to bake cookies?' Seeing no plausible reason, he asked the pinkette. "Why are you even trying to bake cookies? Let alone make it taste good?" The girls, who were sulking, turned their attention towards him.
"Huh?"
"What do you mean?" Yui and Yukino asked respectively. A smirking Hachiman, then turned to meet the gazes of the two. "Go and take a bathroom break, then come back after ten minutes." The girls, who stil doesn't know his intentions, looked puzzled. "When you come back, you'll see the greatest cookies you've ever seen." Though skeptical, the two followed his wishes and left.
"The best cookies? These aren't that far from what Yuigahama-san had made." When the girls returned, Yukino eyed the tray of cookies Hachiman baked. Curious as to what it tastes, the girls then grabbed a cookie and took a bite. "You'd have a fortune if you planned to sell these as rat poison." Yukino remarked after tasting.
"They're not so tasty." Was Yui's verdict. A dejected Hachiman went and grabbed the tray. "Then I guess I'll just to throw it away then."
Yui, who panicked at what she heard, quickly spoke. "W-Wait!" She grabbed another cookie and ate it. "You don't have to throw it away, they're not that bad!"
Hachiman, whose back is turned from them, smirked. "Really? These are the ones you baked though." Confused after hearing the man, the two simultaneously asked.
"Huh?" Was Yukino's question.
"What do you mean Hikki?" Was Yui's. Hachiman, seeing that the two didn't understand what he was trying to say, explained further. "Look, most men are creatures with simple minds." He started as he set the tray down. "They would get hot and bothered just getting attention from opposite sex. They wouldn't care if what they get tastes bad."
"It doesn't matter?" Yui asked.
"Yeah it doesn't. As long as they know you tried your best, they won't mind it and they'll be moved." Hachiman finished explaining.
Thinking about what the man has said, Yukino asked a question. "Is that how it works?" She struck a thinking pose.
"Will it move you, HIkki?' Shyly asked the pinkette.
"No, but I'd appreciate the effort." Hachiman answered. "Isn't that the same?" Yukino now asked, which Hachiman ignored.
"What are you going to do now, Yuighama-san?" This time, Yukino asked Yui.
"I'll try and do things my own way!" Smiling at the ravenette, her sincere eyes focused on the flustered Yukino. "Thanks Yukinoshita-san!"
The first request of the Service Club was completed.
A/N: Sup peeps! It's ya boi back at it again with a new chapter for your generic copy paste fiction number 3126897135!
Look, it might be my fault for emphasizing on Yukinoshita, and giving other girls a more general description, for that it's my bad. Again, leave a review if you have something to say, Keep safe as always!
This chapter is based on 2Majestic's Apathetic Super Soldier, which is one of the primary inspirations for the story. (Sorry for being a cunt and not crediting you man.)
Song while writing this: Masayume Chasing – BOA
Your loving generic writer, Jasserru.
