Man, I drank a lot. I can drink but that was a lot so fast. Kenny's an asshole. Where'd he go? Where'd Tweek go? Wow, I almost forgot he was even here. Should I look for him? He didn't seem to be having a good time with me though. Maybe he really doesn't drink and got sick. I should've gone after him… I'm a fucking idiot. He probably already left. I could've been there to comfort him through it. But I'm sure he's gone by now, if that's the case. How long have I even been comfortably swaying? It feels like it could've been between four and forty minutes. Fuck. I can't be that drunk.

Someone grabs my arm. I glance over my shoulder. It's Kenny again. He shouts something in my ear but I don't get it the first time. "Wanna smoke a blunt with me on the balcony?" He repeats. I nod even though another great song starts playing and follow him through the crowd. There's a couple walking inside as we walk out, leaving it just us, much to my contentment.

"How're you liking the party?"

"It's alright," I sip on my beer. The night looks really nice. We hang over the rail and he pulls the blunt out and lights it.

"You know," he starts. I hum in acknowledgement. "The other night I had a dream I used to have a lot when I was a kid- a nightmare actually," he tells me. "About everyone in class dying and turning into ghosts until it's just me and it's terrifying." He takes a hit and makes sure it's burning evenly. I help him, holding my hands out to block the wind. I don't know where he's going with this but it's making me nervous. I just pretend to be oblivious to the atmosphere. "It just made me think about how you dated Emily when we were kids. Back then she had shorter hair and her eyes were blue." Kenny laughs to himself and then coughs. "I never told you this but I thought it was funny you were dating her because she kinda looked like a boy and I didn't really like you back then." So, what? He does know? How would he know though? Nothing happened that day I ate with him at the picnic tables. There's no way he's seen us.

I can hear my heart pounding in my throat.

"Do you know you have a type? I thought about that after remembering Emily because of that time Clyde was looking at my Playboy and you called him gross and he called you crazy for thinking the girl was gross and asked you which one you liked. Blonde hair and blue eyes." I don't say anything. That day I unconsciously just said what I was thinking. And it probably wasn't even that big of a deal to call the model gross but I was freaking out internally. That's probably why Kenny remembers it. They thought I meant the girl but I meant the girl. The party seems much quieter.

I chuckle, "You're wasted, man. What're you talking about?"

"I thought I could use it to figure out who you're with," he explained. "But even then- How did I not realize it sooner?"

"Kenny, what the hell are you talking about?!" I snap. "Emily? A t- type?! You sound crazy."

"It's Tweek. You're hooking up with Tweek. Tell me you aren't." Kenny stares me dead in the eyes. "I saw him walking around with your coffee cup and it just clicked. He's like, the only other person you talk to, he's your type, and every time you two are allegedly together you show up with hickys."

"Why… are you doing this?"

Kenny laughs, "Craig! I don't care!" He grabs me and shakes me. "You can be with whoever the hell you want. Holy shit, I can't believe I figured it out though!"

"You weren't supposed to know. It's not fair that you know until I tell you."

"Not fair? Why are you keeping it a secret when you know nobody will care?"

"I don't know that," I mumble. I'm grumpy that he tricked me out here for this. Now I'm trapped.

Kenny scoffs and starts counting down, "Your parents won't care, Ruby won't care, Clyde and Token won't fucking care, and we don't have to tell anyone else. Unless you want to, 'cause they wouldn't care. This is great! Congratulations, man."

"Kenny, fuck."

"Calm down. It's not that big of a deal. One of us had to be gay. It happened to be you and that's fine. Plus, you already have a boyfriend. I don't even have a girlfriend right now."

"Just stop."

"Tweek's attractive too," he says, "That's actually so cute. I wish I could see you two together but you never talk at school." I cover my face. "Have you guys fucked yet? I can usually tell but I've never seen you two together so…"

"Fuck off."

"You guys are both tough too so like, who tops? It's… you, right?" Kenny starts laughing. "Is it you? I'm just assuming 'cause you're taller. Is that ignorant? I guess you can be tall and like it up the butt."

"God, stop joking. This isn't funny to me!"

Kenny looks at me and sighs. "It's okay," he says. "I'm not gonna tell anyone. I just think you should consider it." He takes a long hit. "Yeah man, I won't tell anyone. But if you're not gonna tell anyone, I'm glad I figured it out. Now we can talk about it. That's what you were worried about right? But I don't care so it's fine. I mean, the guys and I talk about girls all the time, it's not different." But it is.

He passes the blunt to me. "Tweek's not my boyfriend. I don't know what to call it. He says we're not even friends."

"Ouch, one of those. Must be rough." I shrug, taking a hit. "Don't pretend, dude. Doesn't work on me."

"It's not like I want to be boyfriends."

"Why not?"

"I like that we don't label it, I guess," I say. "There's not a lot of time before school ends and we leave anyways. It's no pressure."

"But," Kenny says, "You'd be pissed if he did anything with anyone else, right?"

"We talked about that," I tell him, giving in. He's right. It's not like I want to talk about it but it's probably healthy I do. And I suppose I trust Kenny. "I told him if we're gonna be having sex then he can only have sex with me."

"How monogamous."

"It's just safer."

"Sounds like a relationship."

"Kenny, shut up."

"Hey."

Kenny and I glance back. It's Tweek. My heart races a little knowing that he could've been there just listening the whole time. He joins us at the rail and takes the blunt from me. "I fucking hate parties," he says, taking a huge hit.

Kenny says to me, "Well, kissing's not sex." I'm confused for a moment but then Kenny grabs Tweek's face and pulls him into an ardent kiss. My eyebrows practically shoot off my forehead. Kenny tongues into Tweek's mouth but Tweek shoves him away, looking repulsed. Kenny blows out the smoke from Tweek's hit.

"K- K- What the fuck?!" I gap at him trying to grasp what just happened.

"You were right. I am wasted," He laughs. "But why are you mad?" he pokes my nose. "Ha, ha." Kenny pats Tweek on the shoulder. "You can finish that if you want." He tells him referring to the blunt and then disappears back into the house.

"What the fuck…?" Tweek wipes his mouth with his shirt, disgustedly. "What is wrong with your friends? This is why I never wanted to come."

"Why did you?" I wonder.

He snatches my beer. He drinks and swigs it around his mouth before spitting off to the side. "Did you tell him?"

"I didn't tell him. He figured it out."

"Because you're so obvious."

"I'm not," I insist. "Blondes are intuitive."

"That's stupid," he mutters, looking over the night sky.

"Did you like it?"

"What?"

"The kiss. Did you like kissing Kenny? You didn't even stop him."

He stops to look at me. "I could've socked him. Would you rather that?"

"So who else have you kissed?"

Tweek raises his eyebrows, "I'm not allowed to kiss anyone? Who the hell are you?"

"If you're kissing a bunch of people and you get mono, then I'll get mono."

"You're a fucking idiot, Craig. You can't tell me what to do, we aren't dating."

"Why don't you want to? Do you even like me?"

"Fuck, you're drunk. I can't talk to you when you're like this."

"Why did you let him kiss you? Why did you… in front of me?" Why did you come? Is this real or did I pass out? Am I dreaming again?

"The real question is what were you guys talking about before I came that made him do that in the first place?"

"It's like you don't care at all."

"I care because it was gross, not because you're stupid enough to get jealous," he tells me. "I'm not gonna have this conversation with you again," he says, angrily. "You're starting to seriously piss me off." I'm really confused right now but I think I'm losing. "We're not together. We're hardly friends," he rants.

"Then why did you even come?" I snap back.

Tweek stops. This seems to stunt him. He looks off over the balcony instead of at me and keeps an annoyed expression. "Not everything I do is about you. Maybe I wanted to come because I've never been to a party." He said maybe. He didn't say I wanted to.

"Maybe," I agree. Tweek shoots me a glare, realizing how his wording negates him.

"You know what I mean." I never know what you really mean. You say no but then you want it. You say you hate me but then you fuck me like you need it. "Know what? I don't have to explain myself to you."

"But," I lean over until our lips brush. "This is okay?" How do I work with that? I should be the one angry. I should be the one threatening. No... I couldn't do that to him.

"That's…"

"Hm," I close my eyes. "No, you're right. I'm sorry," I start. I have to concentrate too hard to keep with the conversation and make sense.

Everything's so fuzzy. What are we talking about anymore? Tweek's fuzzy, his words are fuzzy, even the moon is fuzzy. Are we fighting? I don't ever wanna fight with Tweek... Boxing doesn't count as real fighting. He looks good under the moonlight. I don't want to argue anymore. He just looks good in general, I think. What are we even arguing about? I want to kiss him more.

I wait for him to meet my gaze again and do so. I feel like I should care more that we're kissing on Jenna's balcony but Tweek doesn't really react so I keep going. I wrap my arms around him, pushing his pelvis into mine, forgetting the point.

"Wait," he fights, I don't budge. "Not here."

"I know, I know," I mumble. I don't know. I'm glad these words are coming out though. Am I making sense? What did he say? My lips never really fully leave his skin. I want him. But, where?

"Seriously, asshole."

"My truck."

"No way," he immediately objects.

He thinks for a moment before saying, "... Let's just go to my place."

"I thought you said I wasn't allowed?"

"Well I don't have siblings and my parents are doped up on sleeping pills. We can't go to your place and I'm saying I don't want to do it in your truck." He pushes me again. "Get off. We're outside."

"Okay," I agree, continuing to pepper his skin with kisses. "But maybe, one day…?"

"Jesus Christ, would you quit-"

"Having you naked in the bed of my pick up has always been a fantasy of mine," I admit.

"Alcohol makes you too honest," he pushes again and I release him finally.

"Let's go."

"You're drunk. You can't drive." It's like he's my brain, right now. So helpful.

"Are you drunk?"

"I'm high," he says. I hand him my keys. He's solved every problem so far. It dawns on me that I don't even know if Tweek can drive but if he couldn't I'd expect him to have said something. It's not far and it's two in the morning anyways. Nobody's gonna be on the road.

I tell Tweek to go ahead and pull the car out and I go to say goodbye to Token and Clyde. I only managed to find Token. I babble about some excuse and then I jog out front where Tweek's waiting in the road. I hop in the passenger seat and he starts driving.

The quiet drive at night feels good after being in that chaos. I glance at Tweek. It's been a while since someone drove me anywhere.

"You driving my truck is hot."

"Please, stop saying whatever you want."

"But you're doing it." It's his fault.

"What? I'm not-"

"You're too pretty," I finish. "See? You even blush when you're called pretty." I caress his cheek. He's warm. I wanna kiss him.

"Don't touch me, Craig! I swear to God." I trace his lip and he grabs my wrist with one hand. He's not even looking. "I am not taking care of you," he flicks my limb back at me. "This is only 'cause I'm horny. But I'm starting to think you're too drunk, even for that."

I sit back. Everything gets blurry. "I knew it." He only wants me for my body. Am I'm more upset by this than I should be? But it hurts. My eyes water and my nose runs. I can't help it. It's just unbearably overwhelming especially after tonight. I sniff. I wish he hadn't reminded me. Going to his place to do what we always do every time. Possibly the whole reason he came to the party since he's actually inviting me to his place. I cover my face. Tweek's hated me, "This whole time." Since day one. That's why he knocked me out. I keep just pretending to be okay with it but it hurts. Why do I let him hurt me like this? He doesn't even care about me. I shouldn't… I shouldn't... If we both want different things out of this, isn't that enough premise to end it? But sometimes it seems possible…

"What time?" he asks. "Are you crying?!"

"What did I do to make you hate me?"
Tweek pulls up to his house, parks, turns off the car and turns to me. "I don't hate you, Craig." I sob. "C'mon, seriously?" He isn't even trying to hide it. "Hey asshole, I said I don't hate you." All he does is call me asshole and stupid and bash me all the time. "Hey, look at me." He takes my hands away from my face. "It wouldn't make sense if I hated you, Craig. You're just sensitive because you're drunk." Stupid pretty face. He's too close. This is a trick.

"You only want my dick. You don't like me." Tweek's quiet for a while after that so I just lean back and cry. If he's not denying it, it must be true.

"I enjoy the time we spend together, okay?" he blurts out. "And boxing with you is fun. Happy?"

I turn away. "Of course you'd lie now," I say, wiping my face. I take a deep breath. "I'll stop talking since it bothers you. Let's just go inside and do it then. I won't say anything else."

Tweek mumbles something under his breath. "Okay, fine. Honestly, I don't talk to many people, Craig. So when I'm with you, it's nice. It's nice to be around someone but it's also nice because you're… nice," he finishes, ineloquently.

"You said we aren't even friends," I hiccup.

"We have to be friends, Craig," he tells me. "Otherwise, what would we be?" …He's never talked to me like that before. "And I mean, what guy wants to be told he's pretty? Tell me I'm handsome or something."

I chuckle. Even though I know he's joking to make me feel better, I also feel like it's partially true. "You're beautiful."

"That's worse, asshole!" He blushes and I laugh more. "Don't tell me that shit!"

He sighs, "Are you good now? Can we go in?" He won't look at me.

I glance out the window. Well, I guess, as long as he doesn't hate me… "Hm," I hum.

We get out and Tweek unlocks the door. Once inside, I pin him to the wall. Tweek fights me all the way up the stairs. "Stop," he whispers. "At least wait until we get to my room." It must be amazing to be an only child. "Are you trying to piss me off?"

"Yes," I tell him huskily. To which Tweek just flushes and pulls me along faster.

As soon as we're in his room, we both start undressing. I take off my shirt and Tweek strips his shoes and pants.

Then we're pressed against the door. I hike him up and position myself. "I'm putting it in." All I know is I've pretty much been hard up until this point so it makes sense.

Tweek pants, "Just like that? You didn't even-"

"Should be fine. I can't wait."

"It's not!- mm- hah- fuck, fuck, fuck!" I push into Tweek. "W- wait," he cries, hitting my chest. "Craig, please- mm- at least use sm- hnng-" His nails dig into my skin so hard. Damn, this is one of the realest ones yet.

"Slow- fuck- slower."

I go slower until I fill Tweek entirely. It's by far the hardest thing I've ever had to do and I'm not really understanding what the problem is either. Why should I do what he says? This is my dream.

"Wait." I give him a minute to adjust. He squeezes me so much it's hard to tell whether or not he's teasing. "Okay, hah, you can move," he holds onto me, resting his head on my chest.

I carry Tweek over to the bed, drop, and climb on top of him. He grabs a handful of my hair and yanks my face to his. "Do not fucking-" I kiss him roughly, flipping him onto his back. I raise his hips before thrusting back into him.

"Fuck," I kiss his neck and face. I run my hand down his lower back. Everything about him's so… Hm. "You feel so good."

"Craig." C'mon. I plow into him harder. "C- Craig- ng- wait, there," he grabs at my jeans, snagging his fingers in the pocket. He's so sexy. I push his hair away and lean forward. I bite his neck and thrust into the same spot. The sounds he makes… I can't.

"I'm coming," Tweek warns. I reach down and begin stroking him. He trembles and comes but I keep stroking him even after. "Don't- nnm!" He stuffs his mouth with his fist and then I come.

I push my hair back and wipe away some sweat. Tweek and I catch our breaths then, I flip him onto his back, grab his thighs and pull him into me. He stares at me with wide eyes. "What the hell are you do- ing!" I push back into him. I lean down kissing his chest and collar bone and then flicking my tongue over his nipple. "You- you- mm- Craig…"

I twist the other one between my fingers, nipping and biting at the one in my mouth. I switch to the other one, dragging my tongue over it, watching him. I grab his shaft. "Don't… I ju- shit."

"But you're hard," I tell him simply, jerking him off while I drill into him. I feel almost conscious. Like Tweek's really right in front of me, drenched in sweat and dirty with his own semen. And I'm really inside of him, again, hitting his deepest parts.

Why am I wearing jeans though? It'd be better if we were wearing nothing. I wanna feel him pressed against me.

"Ah, Craig, mmf," he bites his lip. I lean onto my arm next to his head and thrust harder. He throws his arms around my neck. This time there's no warning. Tweek's body seizes and he quakes and comes. I kiss the side of his neck over and over again. His legs are still trembling when I come and the sensation makes him seize up.

I pull out of him and try to regain my thoughts. What was I doing? The room's so loud with breathing and it looks like it's tilting when I sit up.

Fuck, right, jeans! Fucking uncomfortable piece of- pieces of- of shit…? Where's… happened to my other shoe? I struggle to get my one shoe off and toss it along with all my remaining clothes. Then I climb back over Tweek, who's still in the same spot, breathing loudly. His eyes are closed but I can tell he's awake. I chew the inside of my lip. He looks good but… I grab his shirt and pull it up, exposing his chest. Tweek's eyes blink open and he looks lost. I rip the shirt over his head and toss it, climbing on top of him.

I press my lips to his and kiss him smoothly. It's better now that we're both naked and skin to skin. Our tongues brush and I tilt his head back to kiss deeper into his mouth. I grind against him and he flinches. I sit up and grab his legs. "No, wait, Craig!" I take his feet together with one hand and hold them to the side, near my shoulder. "A- again?"

"Hm," I hum, nuzzling his feet.

"Please, I can't again." His words are hardly registering. He puts one hand on my hip and one on my chest. "Craig, are you listening? Don't."

"Whatever I want," I kiss his feet and close my eyes. That's what it was he said. I could do whatever I want. "I want one more." I plunge back into him. He cries out. It won't be that bad, I can make it good.

"Hey Tweek," I say.

"Mm?" he whimpers.

I grab him and flip us so I'm on my back and he's sitting on top of me. He inhales sharply. "If we do it like this, I fill you the deepest." I put my hands on his hips pushing him down on me more. Tweek twitches. He looks really good up there. "But you have to move," I tell him, squeezing his thigh.

"Craig, I can't…" he says, flushed with tears streaming down his face.

"Just move your hips," I tell him gently, wiping them away.

"Augh," Tweek takes a deep breath and then using me as leverage he raises himself off me a little before taking me back in. He rips his lip apart with his persistent biting. He does it again, grinding a little once I'm hitting all the way. "Mmn," we moan together. What a nice dream. The Tweek's in my dream have never acted this cute. Usually they take charge but I'm liking this dynamic loads more. I sigh contently. I grab his hips and help him a little, speeding his pace. I'm slamming into him all the way to the hilt. Tweek comes again, collapsing on my chest. I flip us and thrust into him, holding one of his legs.

This time when I come, I see white. Ah, I can't catch my breath. My heart's beating in my brain. This is heaven. Am I dead? I must be dead.