"Earth to Craig."
Clyde mimics the sound of walkie-talkie static in my ear. "Houston, I think we've lost him."
I push his face away, blinking back to reality. The entire class is already gone and the guys are just watching me, snickering. I even catch the teacher shaking his head at us. "Fuck, why didn't you guys say anything?" I start throwing things in my bag.
"We were curious how long you'd take to notice," Token says.
"But you didn't even blink," Clyde tells me.
"Someone must've had fun this weekend," Kenny says and I blush, pushing past all of them. I'm sick of Kenny's stupid intuition.
"We're gonna be late."
"Tweek seemed like he was in a good mood this morning too," he continues.
I overslept today (old habits die hard). So, I didn't get to see Tweek before class. It was possibly, subconsciously intentional, if that's possible. I don't want to say I'm avoiding him. I'm not. This weekend was nice (until my parents showed up).
I invited him to stay for dinner but Tweek left almost immediately. After that, we didn't really talk. "Why? Did he hang out with you guys?"
"Of course. He's part of the gang now," Kenny tells me. "And it's Tweek. It's not hard to tell when he's in a good mood. 'Cause he's almost always pissed off." This makes me laugh a little bit. "He seemed disappointed you didn't show, though. I think it was the only reason he was putting up with us."
"Whatever, Kenny, leave me alone. Your class isn't even this way."
"Yeah, Kenny, what's your point?" Token asks. None of their classes are this way.
"Did something happen?" Kenny nudges me with his shoulder.
I push back, "Even if it did, it's none of your business."
"Hm, I kind of, want to know too."
"Token!"
"What? I'm invested and Tweek did seem like, he was in a good mood today. He was a lot nicer. It was weird."
"I gotta be honest. Me too," Clyde says. "I'm rooting for you two."
I sigh, hoping that stalling will make them leave. They're all gonna be late at this rate. They clearly don't care as they trail behind me. "I asked him out and he said yes…" I tell them, throwing in a, "Well, kind of."
"What'd you mean, kind of?" Token says.
"I don't know. Tweek is weird. He didn't say, 'Yes, Craig I'll go out with you.' He said something more along the lines of, If this is the only thing that will get you to shut up then, okay."
"Is there a difference?" Kenny asks and the guys all laugh except for me.
"It's not funny," I tell them. "I feel like he has ulterior motives."
"I think Tweek just gets embarrassed," Kenny says, like I'm worrying about nothing. "I couldn't imagine him outright saying yes to you. But, I'll ask him about it, if you want."
"Oh, yeah!" I snap. "Why didn't you guys tell me you had classes with Tweek?"
"Oh…" Kenny chuckles. "Didn't I mention it?"
"Yeah, you're never listening anyways, Craig," Clyde says.
"What do you guys even have to talk about?"
Kenny laughs again. This time more ominously. "Tons of things."
"I like messing with him but he never has a reaction," Clyde says.
"What are you talking about?" Kenny says. "Messing with Tweek is easier than messing with Craig."
"What does that mean?"
"What we talk about is confidential," Kenny says.
"What does that mean?"
"I don't have any classes with him but, I started texting with him," Token chimes in. "I want to make sure he's okay. I never see him around anyone." Tweek doesn't even text me! What is going on?
"Right?" Kenny says. "He makes you want to take care of him."
"You just said you mess with him," I say.
Kenny rolls his eyes. "And I mess with you and Clyde and Token and my parents. It's just joking and Tweek knows that. He's not a pussy, Craig. He's more stable than your ass, for sure."
"Whatever, just leave him alone. You don't know him like that."
"Jealous?" They laugh.
The warning bell rings and the guys scatter before I can get seriously pissed off. I let the growing feelings dissolve and rush to get to my own class. I can't afford another tardy.
I make it just in time and pay little attention to the lesson. I didn't want to see Tweek. Even after everything, he plagues my mind. Now, I don't even know what I want. I don't want Tweek to change, I just need to hear that he likes me too. Because maybe he does but, I don't like feeling like he doesn't. If I heard it, I could move on and accept his weird fucking ways of affection. He'd never say something like that though.
Fuck.
I feel worse now than I did before this weekend. If it's gonna bother me this much, I should just say something but, Tweek's not the type to talk about how he feel. I'm scared he'll get tired of me and end things. Does he care about me at all? He has to.
I'm doubtful…
My class is boring and long. Finals are next week but I'm too busy worrying about Tweek and other things like smoking to care. I wish I did care but that ship has sailed. What could I even do now? I did the best I could by studying with Tweek.
I doodle and fuck around in the back of the classroom until the bell. Then, I head to my locker, debating skipping lunch. I don't want to deal with the guys anymore today.
I could go home… I'd have to promise myself I'd come back. I would come back. I would.
I run into Tweek at my locker. He paces down the hall towards me. I think he's going for a hug (I don't know why I thought that) but, he slams me against the lockers instead. "Why do you find it necessary to broadcast our business like you do? It's like you enjoy the harassment."
"Whoa," I say. "Are you actually mad?"
"Are you actually mad," he mocks me and then shrugs less seriously. "No, but, I wish you could keep some things to yourself." He drops me.
"What happened?"
"Well, Clyde's fine, he's just an idiot but, Kenny…" Tweek flushes. "Already thinks he's some kind of love guru so why would you involve him in our relationship further?" He asks.
"Kenny's pretty smart about these things," I tell him.
"If there's a problem, fucking bring it to me!"
"Yeah, sure," I say sarcastically.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"That you're hard to talk to sometimes, Tweek! Especially about certain things."
"Don't blame me for you being a pussy." I narrow my eyes at him. If we weren't at school, if we wouldn't get suspended for the rest of the school year, I'd punch him.
"What'd he say?"
"That you thought I had, 'ulterior motives.' Asshole," he calls me. "It's been like two fucking days. What the fuck is that?" he folds his arms over his chest.
"I don't know," I say. "Your answer wasn't very enthusiastic."
"We're fucking guys! I didn't want a stupid boyfriend. That's gay as fuck!" he snaps, quietly even though we're alone in the hallway. "You think I'm gonna jump for joy? I agreed, didn't I? I wouldn't have said yes if I didn't mean it. I'm not a fucking liar."
"You lie… a lot."
"I'm seriously gonna kill you," he says, grabbing me. "I don't get you, fucking at all."
"Do you like me?" Tweek let's go and starts to gag. "Tweek, seriously."
"Yeah, I'm seriously gonna be sick if I have to say something like that to your face- And we're at school. No way."
"What do you want? Atmosphere?"
"No way. That's worse." he says, looking nauseous. "…Why do I have to say it?"
"Because, you don't act like you like me so I wonder. Then I think maybe you have ulterior motives."
Tweek looks annoyed and embarrassed. "You should just know I do."
"Then say it."
"You-" He groans. "Can't we do this later. Like, not in the hallway?" I roll my eyes. "Why would I be thinking of living with you if I didn't like you."
"You totally shut me down when I asked you."
"I needed time to think about it, jackass."
"There they are!" Kenny shouts from the end of the hall, followed by Clyde and Token. I press my hand against my forehead. They couldn't have picked a worse time. "Y'all are about to miss lunch!" he says, jokingly, unaware. "Making out?"
"So, did you think about it?" I say to Tweek, ignoring Kenny.
He shrugs, "I'm still thinking about it."
"Thinking about what?" Kenny says, sauntering up.
I shoot him a glare. "Kenny, mind your own fucking business, okay?" Kenny throws his hands up and turns around to redirect the guys out of the hall again.
"But this isn't helping. If you can't even talk to me how are we supposed to be, 'roommates'?"
"I didn't feel like I could bring it up. I thought if I did, you'd get annoyed and… end it."
"Well, that was dumb, Craig," he says. "You should've just said something."
"Sorry…" I guess Kenny was right. Now that I say it out loud, it does sound a bit extreme.
"I'll admit, I'm mean sometimes but, I'm not a monster. Ulterior motives. What the fuck does that even mean?" I feel like it's better if I don't answer that question. "I shouldn't have to do this 'cause I'm offended you'd think I'd use you like that," he starts. "But, of course I like you, dumbass."
I'm caught a bit off guard. I don't know what I expected. I feel kinda dumb now. So, it can't get any worse… "Can I kiss you?"
"We're at school," he repeats.
"I know but there's no one around anyways."
"You're so..." He sighs and looks down the hall both ways. Empty. "Fine, but be quick."
I pull him in and kiss him, sinking my hands into his back pockets. I know we can't make out here. We both do. But the hallways been empty this whole time, except for the guys who are gone now too. And they were only here to find us.
Tweek pushes me against the lockers. I love when he reads my mind.
"Boys." Our heads snap up. "C'mon, not in the halls." It's a Junior English teacher. Tweek face ignites like a flame. I'm sure I'm just as red.
"Sorry…" I manage for the both of us. At least this isn't as bad as if we had gotten caught a few weeks ago, before everyone knew. And at least, it was a teacher who doesn't care. Oppose to one that's homophobic or a student, god forbid.
Tweek and I separate. "There's still time for lunch," he says. "I brought mine."
"Share with me."
"Asshole," he says. "Fine."
"Let's find the guys."
"Let's not."
"Yeah. Alright."
