"You guys are moving in together?!" Clyde exclaims.

"Yeah," I say. "So, what? You're going off to live with somebody you don't even know."

"Touché," he says. "But a dorm is way different. It's not like I live there. And in an extreme case, I can change roommates. But y'all are signing a lease!"

"I mean it'll be in our parents names in the beginning." Just as a precaution until we're stable enough on our own. We'll still be paying the bills. Tweek's parents insisted and my parents didn't disagree. It was also easier to get the landlord's approval with our parents backing us.

"That's some serious shit," Clyde says.

"Didn't you guys just start dating?" Token asks.

My face bunches up at them. "You guys were like, our number one advocates before we started dating and now... you're only focused on the negatives?" What the hell happened to our fan club?! Don't you think I have enough of my own worries?

"It's just a bit shocking," Clyde says.

"I'm not shocked," Kenny laughs. "I bet Tweek got mad that you still weren't happy even after he agreed to date you. You didn't trust him based off his attitude and then Tweek did or said something to prove his sincerity." I narrow my eyes at the him. He got all that from the little bit he heard in the hallway? If that's intuition… then yeah, I'm not intuitive at all, I take it back. "Like I said, I think he really likes you. Which is good because I think you're in love with him."

Clyde gasps. "Craig, do you love Tweek?"

Kenny's says, "Nah, he's in love with Tweek. That's different. That's like, way more heavy. Of course they're moving in together, I bet they couldn't live without each other at this point."

I suck my teeth. "Whatever, Kenny." I tell him and to Token and Clyde I say, "We weren't dating but we've pretty much been together since we were freshmen... Isn't this natural progression? We both want to move and it would be expensive and pointless for us to get our own places."

"Yeah..." Token says.

"Why are you saying it like that?!"

"Just... sounds scary."

"It is!" I cry, giving in. "What if we start living together and he realizes he can't stand me?! I'm such a piece of shit. I suck at everything and I have nothing to offer! It's a matter of time really."

"Jesus..." Clyde mumbles. Kenny starts laughing.

"Alternatively, you could grow to hate him too," Token adds. They're so fucking unhelpful!

"Not likely," I tell him anyways. "My only real deal breakers are cheating... and like, domestic abuse?"

Token shakes his head. "Get better standards, Craig."

"I don't need them. Tweek's already great," I say. "And he'd never do that," I add. "But I snore! And I'm messy... I leave cabinets open and lights on. The shows I watch and the music I listen to are weird. I get moody. We're gonna be alone in Denver. I won't even have you guys to fall back on if it goes bad."

"Calm down, man," Kenny says. "What would go bad? You always worry about nothing."

"Yeah," Clyde says. "And Token and I are leaving too so you weren't gonna have us whether you left or not." Token shoots Clyde a look. Clyde snickers with a shrug. So unhelpful.

"You guys have to help us move in. You will, right? So we can hang out one last time before everyone leaves?" Yeah, that and I don't wanna be alone with Tweek until I absolutely have to be. I'm just so nervous. Having the guys there to help us move in will ease the tension and make the transition easier.

"Boring," Kenny says. "I don't wanna do that! Moving's so much work and Denver's such a long drive."

"Douchebag, when do I ask you for anything?"

"You act like I never do stuff for you, Craig. I actually help you out a lot. Think about it."

"Yeah, but I never ask you."

"Last time you did. You asked me to talk to Tweek for you."

"Was that helpful?! You just told him everything I told you."

"Well, you weren't gonna tell him yourself!" he says as if he's frustrated with me.

"That wasn't even what you were supposed to do so that wasn't help," I sneer. "You guys are gonna come, right? It probably won't be that much stuff. Right now, we don't have any furniture."

"Yeah, yeah," Clyde agrees.

"Sure," Token says.

I look to Kenny. He rolls his eyes. "Obviously, I was gonna help. It's just gonna be super lame," Kenny says. "I'm leaving the heavy lifting to the athletes and I don't really wanna hear anything about it."

I shrug. "Most of the furniture, we're gonna get after we get there and it'll be shipped to the door for us so, I don't expect there to be much anyways. A bed? A TV and a couple small tables… maybe a couch."

Kenny snorts. "Sweet. I won't have to do anything!"

"What time is it? I have to start getting ready soon."

Kenny starts laughing harder. "God, I wish I could be there for Tweek meeting your parents- and Ruby?" he starts cackling. "Promise to tell us all about it, bro."

"Why's everyone acting like that? Tweek's being so dramatic but my family's not scary." The guys all laugh and give their versions of, 'Well…' Although, I suppose Ruby's at Kenny's house enough for him to know the full extent of how scary she can be.

"They can be a bit intimidating... Especially if you're judging them solely on appearance."

"Time?"

Clyde leans over from the bed and reaches for the nearest phone. It's mine. It all happens too fast for me to react. "Augh! Sick!" Clyde makes a face. "Seriously, dude?"

"What?" Kenny inquires.

"His screensaver…" Clyde tosses the phone to Kenny and it just reignites his laughter. "Craig, you have a problem."

"Bebe was your screensaver for months when y'all dated!" I argue.

"Yeah, but does Tweek even know you took this photo," Token asks, examining said picture from over Kenny's shoulder.

I scoff, acting offended but Toke just looks unimpressed. I roll my eyes, "Don't worry about it! It's none of your business." The photo in question is one I took recently of Tweek while he was asleep. He just looked too good. And I made it my screensaver with the justification that again, Tweek could be a model and the photo came out almost professional level. So, it wouldn't be embarrassing. Anyone who saw it would agree it could be some kind of ad campaign or something. "Time?" I ask again.

"Op!" Clyde says, which is the first indictation I'm fucked. "It's almost six thirty."

"Fuck," I groan, pushing to my feet. Luckily, I was prepared for this and just brought all my stuff along with me. I was going to shower but it's not the end of the world. I start whipping my clothes off to change into something a little more dress casual.

Clyde suddenly gasps again. "What?" I ask, continuing to get ready. I'm not paying to much attention to him since Clyde's a damn idiot.

But then, again, Kenny's laughing is quick to follow. "What? What now? I have to go." Kenny gets up and pushes me in front of the mirror, turns me around and lifts my shirt. I crane my neck around to try and see what he's showing me. My jaw drops.

Kenny tries to catch his breath, "Oh, my god, I knew it!" he says. I check out the damage. My entire back is slashed with dark red, irritated nail marks. I guess I sort of felt it when it happened but I didn't think it was this bad.

Clyde says, "Dude, you need to put some Neosporin on that."

Token leans in the bathroom too. "Jesus Christ, what happened?"

I take a moment, thinking about how to respond before Kenny beats me to it. "I mean, you saw them box… Figure it out, Toke."

Token shakes his head. "That's a bit excessive."

I look at it a little longer. Why do I kind of like it? It's sexy, I think. Not overtly sexual, right? But anyone who sees them would know where they came from. Hm, remind me to not be shirtless around their parents for a while. Or maybe just always be conscious of that from now on.

"Sheesh," I mutter. Maybe I will tell him to reign it in a little, at least until this heals up. He also better not get mad at me for letting the guys see this. I had no idea that was on my back but Tweek's clearly seen it at some point and just never mentioned it. Maybe I should've felt it but isn't it a good thing I didn't?

"Okay," I say, fastening my belt.

"Alright, see you later."

"…" I pause at the door. "I'm gonna miss you guys…"

They all collectively groan really loud and start complaining all at once. "Can't we save this for later?"

"It's not like anyone's even left yet."

"We literally agreed to meet for thanksgiving, Christmas and spring break."

I snicker. "Right, alright. Fine! I'll catch you later then, assholes!"


This is the most visibly scared I've ever seen Tweek. I assure him he has nothing to worry about. My parents already like him as much as his parents like me. But it doesn't seem to ease his nerves.

We enter the house and my mom comes running out to greet us, but really only greets Tweek. She pulls him into a hug. "Wow, finally! You're so handsome! And fit!" She squeezes his arms. "When Craig was being so secretive, I thought he found a real crackpot but you're so normal!" she gushes about the absolute bare minimum. "You can just call me mom." Tweek's paralyzed. I yank him from my mother's grasp and tell her to take it easy.

Although, it is amusing to see Tweek like this, I'm annoyed she's doing exactly what she said she wouldn't. "I'm just excited," she apologizes. "Plus, couldn't you have brought him sooner?" she says. "Not right before you two move in together?"

I rub my forehead. "Mom…"

"Fine, fine! I'm just saying." My mom leaves to set the table and calls Ruby down. My dad comes out of his office and Tweek noticeably shrinks behind me. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a little awkward but that was entirely Tweek's fault. Despite my dad's generally tense nature already, it certainly didn't help that Tweek is obviously scared of him.

I greet my dad. He says hey and turns to Tweek, holding his hand out. "Tweek, right? Nice to meet you." Tweek stares at his hand before taking it. My dad shakes it quick and rough. That was gentle for him but Tweek still looks jarred.

"Thanks for putting up with our son." I scoff. Who puts up with who? Dad laughs and goes to help my mom with the table and the food.

Tweek looks pale. "Are you okay?"

"I'm just realizing the severity of the situation…"

"Wait, what?"

Before I can have him elaborate on that, Ruby comes sauntering down the steps. She pauses before us. She stares at Tweek. But, I don't know. I'm sure Tweek thinks she's glaring when really, her resting face just looks mean.

Tweek pretends to not see her even though she's standing right in front of him. When he finally does locks eyes with her, seemingly terrified, Ruby sizes him. Her eyes go up and then down. "…Figures," she eventually says before walking off. Tweek turns to me, confused but I just shake my head. Sorry, but I can't help you with that.

My mom calls from the kitchen, "Ruby, be nice." And Ruby responds that she's already holding back. I start reconsidering. No one is really holding back at all. Except maybe dad, who seems to just be doing his best dealing with the fact that Tweek's terrified of him. Tweek's like malfunctioning already and if I know my family, it can only get worse. But we can't exactly leave now… So, I drag Tweek over to the table and we sit.

It's quiet at first as everyone begins eating. Ruby keeps glancing between me and Tweek. Tweek and I both ignore her. Me, successfully (years of practice, you could say) and Tweek, not so much. Finally, she breaks the silence with, "So, how did you two start dating?" No response, just silverware clinking against glass. She continues, "I mean, we only just found out who you even are. We don't know anything about you or your relationship at all. So, how did you start dating. It shouldn't be that hard to answer."

I guess the problem is, the simple answer is... sex, right? And we can't say that, obviously. And why'd she have to phrase it like that? The pressure from being put on the spot is making me draw a blank.

"Boxing," Tweek suddenly says.

"Well, duh," Ruby replies. "I didn't ask how you met, I asked how you started dating."

Tweek's back to being stunted so, I take over. "I liked him first."

"And then?"

"Ruby," my dad finally intervenes. "Let it go. Boundaries, remember?"

Ruby rolls her eyes. "Suspicious."

"Well it wasn't exciting. We were friends, we liked each other, we started dated... What do you want?" Fuck, if only it had been like that. Maybe I'll be honest with Ruby one day when she's older and not in front of my parents. Although, I know she's fucking with us anyways.

"And when you said Tweek, I thought you meant that coffee obsessed kid who had all the panic attacks."

"Ruby," my mom scolds. I rub my forehead, growing irritated with Ruby's shenanigans. Of course she knew he was the same kid. Our towns population is less than three thousand. How many Tweek's could there be?

"Oh," Ruby says, understanding. "Well, take it as a compliment. Obviously you're not like that anymore and that's why I didn't recognize you. What causes someone to change that much?" she wonders to herself, really. And then laughs, "That's crazy because when we were little, you two like hated each other and now you're dating. Sounds like some Craig shit."

"Shut the fuck up, Ruby!" I snap, squeezing Tweek's thigh but letting go after realizing it wasn't helping and probably nothing would help him at this point. He looks like a statue: completely still and white. Under different circumstances, it'd be funny.

"Hey," dads voice bellows. Ruby and I stiffen, like Tweek. "Watch your mouth; both of you."

"And Ruby, for heavens sake," my mother pleas.

"What?" Ruby grumbles. "I didn't even say anything."

"Just eat your food."

"Psh, whatever," Ruby stabs her chicken.

The rest of dinner is pretty uneventful. My mom and Tweek talk about how he baristas at his parents café. She showers him with unearned love and affection that he happily accepts. Ruby thankfully stays quiet for the most part and my dad interjects with valid and intriguing questions that sometimes put Tweek on the spot but I feel is important in the same way Tweek's mom scared and warned me about hurting him.

By the end of the night, I can tell my mom is somehow more in love with Tweek than she already was. I'm sure my dad also approves. Who cares about Ruby? But if she didn't like Tweek, she'd pay him no attention so I made sure to mention this to him. I think it made him feel a little better, at least.

I head to the bathroom before taking Tweek home and when I come out I catch him chatting with my dad. I don't know what they were talking about and knowing Tweek, I probably never will... But I guess that's fair.


A/N sorry y'all I had a shit day and on top of that my laptop broke... so... we out here I guess lol pray 4 me

At least I didn't lose my files.. this time cries