Lee stalked through the tall grass as he made his way to the raptor. His scowl fell away quickly when he saw Kara poke her head out. She was beaming so hard Lee couldn't help but return it with a smile of his own. As he got closer he tried to school his features.
"Bringing it in a little hot don't you think?" he said as he hopped into the raptor. Kara's smile twisted into a smirk as she approached him.
"What're you gonna do about it?" she asked softly. Lee shook his head as she got closer. Before he could react, her lips were on his and he was pinned to the wall of the ship. Lee tensed for a moment, but slowly relaxed into the kiss. His eyes fell closed and he breathed in her scent as he started to return the kiss. Suddenly, he pushed Kara back and stormed across the ship to put some distance between them. Kara stood still but followed his path with her eyes.
"What the frak was that?" he asked angrily. Kara smiled ruefully and laughed.
"What did it look like, Lee? It was just a kiss," she said casually.
"I'm married, Kara. You're married," he said pointedly.
"Yeah, I know," Kara said as she approached him again.
"Stop it, Kara," Lee ordered, holding out his hand to keep her away.
"Don't act like you didn't want it, Lee. I know you. You're not happy like this," Kara said, her voice dropping to a lower tone. Lee shook his head and looked at the ceiling.
"Stop this. I know what you're trying to do, and I'm not going to play along," he said as sternly as he could. Kara took the opportunity to get closer, and she was inches away by the time he returned his gaze to her.
"Lee, how long have we known each other?" she asked softly. Lee refused to answer so Kara continued. "You wanted me once, Lee. What's changed? Aren't you tired of hiding from it… from us."
"No Kara, I'm not tired of honoring the vows I made to my wife. I'm sorry if you're not happy with Sam, but that's not my problem. You made your choice," he said harshly. Kara's mouth formed a thin line as she stopped inching closer to Lee. She let out the breath she'd held after Lee's accusation, and her hands fidgeted at her sides.
"Lee… ah… Sam won't- Sam doesn't know me like you do, Lee," she said awkwardly. Then with more confidence, "and Kestra doesn't know you like I do. We're better together." Lee held Kara's gaze as her eyes seemed to plead with him.
"You're right," he finally said, "Kestra doesn't know me the way you do… but she knows me in ways that you don't too. I love her, Kara, and I made a promise to her. I intend to keep it."
"She's not even human," Kara argued.
"Neither is Sharon, but you don't seem to have a problem with her and Helo."
"I don't care who or what Helo fraks," Kara said, irritated.
"But you do care who I frak?"
"Yes… no. I care about you, Lee."
"You didn't seem to care who I was frakking when you went back to Caprica for Anders, or when you were fracking him in the pilot's quarters, or when you married him."
"I wasn't… you were fracking Dualla. I didn't have to be worried."
"Why? Because you knew I didn't love her. You knew that as soon as you called I'd be at your heels like a whipped dog again."
"Lee, that's not-"
"You don't get to fight with me, just because you're mad that you can't have me at your beck and call anymore," Lee interrupted. Their faces were inches apart, and both pilots were breathing heavily.
"I don't care who you frak, but that thing is not human. I never thought you'd side with a… whatever it is over your own people," Kara argued, trying to lead the conversation away from her own insecurities. Lee, however, caught on to this and wouldn't allow her off the hook so easily.
"There is no conflict between my wife and my people, Kara. Kestra is not the enemy. The only person here who is threatened by her is you."
"That's not what the old man thinks," Kara shot back. Lee scoffed at her mention of his father. He'd caused enough problems as it was without being an argument for Kara's defense.
"My father is too stubborn to see past what she is, and see her for who she is. Kinda like you," Lee said more calmly.
"Or she's fooled you, and the old man and I are the only people who can save you from your own thick head," Kara replied, "she's manipulating you."
"Give it a rest, Kara. She's not manipulating me. She's not using me against humanity. And don't say I can't know, because I do. I know, because it's not just me. She has friends all over Galactica. The president, Chief Tyrol, Callie, your own husband for fraks sake."
"My husband," Kara said, her voice rising in pitch, "and what do you think she does with my husband, Lee?"
"What are you talking about?"
"You're kidding yourself if you think they're not already frakking behind our backs," she said hotly. Lee's eyes widened in shock.
"Of course they're not, Kara. Do you really think Sam would cheat on you?"
"If he was being manipulated by your alien, yes," she responded.
"Sam loves you, Kara. Any fool could see that. You're the only one too blind to see it, because you're too busy trying to push him away. Are you afraid he'll leave when he realizes who you really are?"
"And what am I, Lee?" Kara asked, her nose nearly touching his.
"You tell me. You're the one trying to seduce me in a raptor. Am I the only one, or is Sam the only man on Galactica you won't frak?" he spat. Her hand connected with his face as soon as he'd spoken. Lee didn't have an opportunity to evade her, nor could he escape her hands as they pulled his face back toward her and pressed her lips hard against his mouth. Lee stumbled back, but Kara came right with him. Lee was struck dumb by her kiss again, but this time it wasn't Lee who pulled them out of it. The sound of footsteps climbing up into the raptor had them both spinning around. Kestra stood across from them at the entrance of the raptor.
"Don't let me interrupt," she said blandly, watching their shocked expressions. Kestra quickly turned around and marched out to the raptor and back the way she came.
"Wait," Lee called as he pushed past Kara. He looked the way Kestra had gone, then back at Kara, who stared deadpan into his eyes. Lee narrowed his eyes at her before running after his wife. "Kestra, wait." Thankfully, Kestra was walking away from the camp. Lee hoped that this meant she intended to talk with him. He caught up with her in a small clearing just outside the camp. "Kestra, nothing happened."
"Didn't look like nothing," she replied sharply.
"No, it didn't, but it's not what it looked like," Lee explained.
"Lee, when I married you I had one concern. Do you remember that? One thing," Kestra asked tersely, "Kara. The only thing I wanted was to know that you weren't settling for me because you couldn't have Kara, so when I find you kissing her you'll excuse me for believing it's exactly what I think it is."
"She kissed me, Kestra," Lee argued, "I know you've had doubts about Kara in the past, but I made a vow to you, not her." Kestra looked at him with narrowed eyes.
"Lee, just answer me truthfully. Have you been sleeping with her?" she asked. Lee scoffed and turned away from her as he ran his hand through his hair.
"Of course not," he said as he whirled back around, "have you been sleeping with Sam?" Kestra's eyes widened and her mouth fell open.
"Don't you turn this on me," she snapped angrily, "where the frak do you even come up with a question like that?"
"Kara seems to think you are," Lee said defensively. As soon as he asked the question he knew it was a mistake, but it was too late now.
"And you believe her?" Kestra asked. Lee paused, not quite sure how to answer. He didn't think he believed Kara, but now that she'd said it the thought nagged at the back of his mind.
"No," he said more calmly than before, "but it would be nice to hear you say so." Kestra rolled her eyes and crossed her arms in front of her chest.
"No, I haven't slept with Sam Anders," she said tersely. Lee's shoulders relaxed, and he released a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding.
"And I didn't mean to kiss Kara," he explained, "we were arguing and she slapped me, and then all the sudden she was kissing me. You just came in at a bad time."
"What were you arguing about?" she asked stiffly. Lee fidgeted and looked around uncomfortably.
"Uh… she kissed me," he said awkwardly. Kestra cocked an eyebrow indicating that further explanation was needed. "She kissed me when I came in the raptor too, and that's what we were arguing about." Kestra's face relaxed as did her posture. She seemed to accept this explanation.
"Do you know why?" she asked. Lee shook his head and shrugged.
"It's not like she opened up and told me why she wants to cheat on her husband, but I can guess. You probably can too," he said. Kestra nodded sadly. They were silent for a while, then Kestra moved toward camp.
"I should get back to work," she said, "I was supposed to be getting the supplies from the raptor." With that she began walking away.
We're good, right?
She stopped and turned back to Lee. He was watching her intently. He needed to know that the scene in the raptor hadn't hurt them before he could let her go. Kestra looked unsure of herself, almost sad, but she nodded.
We're good.
Lee smiled, and Kestra returned the gesture then continued walking away. She couldn't be around Lee any longer or she'd lose all her resolve. That encounter alone was enough to make her question her plan. If she left the fleet now Lee might think it was because of Kara, and he'd blame himself. She couldn't let him have that weighing on his conscience. That was the kind of distraction that would get him killed in a battle against the cylons. She believed him when he said he hadn't meant to kiss Kara. He hadn't given her any cause to doubt him since the dance. Kara had always thrown herself at Lee, but Kestra trusted him. She trusted Lee more than anyone in the fleet, maybe in her whole life. That's what made this so difficult. She had to have faith that Lee would trust her too. What she was doing was, she believed, for the benefit of everyone, humans and cylons. She had to trust that Lee would see the intention behind her actions, not a betrayal. He'd always seen the best in her, and she had to believe he would continue to. That belief was the only way she could do this. She had to have the hope that Lee might be waiting for her if she made it back.
"Kestra, you ok?" Sam's voice interrupted her thoughts. She turned suddenly to look at him. She looked around and realized that she'd made about five trips back and forth with supplies without really registering it. She wondered how many people she'd passed and ignored in the past few minutes.
"Yeah, I'm fine," she said dismissively. Sam raised an eyebrow as he looked at her suspiciously.
"Really? Because you look like you've just seen a ghost. Come on what's up?" he said. Kestra cursed herself for being so transparent, and Sam for caring. She knew she could easily avoid her true train of thought by revealing what she'd seen in the raptor. Sam would easily believe that she was concerned about Kara and Lee's endeavors, because he was concerned about them too. However, this was not any better as a topic of conversation, because Kestra knew it would hurt Sam to hear it, even if he already knew what was happening.
"Sam, we're here to do a job, not talk about our feelings," she said, taking a defensive approach in the hopes that he'd back off out of respect. Sam was not so inclined and intercepted her path as she tried to walk away.
"Hey," he said looking her squarely in the eyes, "is something wrong with you and Lee?" He glanced briefly to where Lee was entering one of the tents. Kestra shook her head at the irony of his question. There was absolutely something wrong, but it was not the trouble Sam was referring to.
"No, Sam, there's nothing wrong between me and Lee. I'm just trying to get my job done," she said. Sam sighed.
"Hey," he said, resting his hands on her shoulders so she was forced to look at him, "I know I haven't been there for you recently, and I'm sorry about that. Kestra, you've been there for me through so much, even when I didn't deserve it. I want to be there for you now. I know something's upsetting you. I just want to help." Kestra's scowl faded as she looked into his eyes and melted at the sincerity she saw there. She didn't want to leave like this. She didn't want everyone who cared about her to think they'd driven her away. She wasn't doing this because she was angry, she was doing it because it was the only way she could see to end this war. She had to patch things up with Sam before she left.
"I'm not mad at Lee," she said calmly, "I'm not mad at you either." Sam smiled, encouraged by her willingness to open up.
"What is it then?" he asked.
"You already know, Sam," she said hopelessly, "I don't understand the war. You've heard me complain about it a million times, so just leave me alone."
"But I want to help," Sam insisted.
"You can't help," she said, becoming increasingly agitated, "unless you're willing to reach out to the cylons and try to overcome your differences instead of shooting them out then you can't help. You can't help by understanding or sympathizing, because as long as people keep dying and we keep running nothing changes. None of you can put this behind you, and I'll never be able to understand why you cling to it so fiercely. Sam sat thoughtfully and silently for a minute. She tried to walk past him when he did not respond, but he stopped her.
"What if we did?" he asked, "what if we talked to the cylons?" She stared at him incredulously with her mouth agape.
"You're impossible," she whispered more to herself than Sam.
"What? Why? I thought that was what you wanted," he said, confused. She laughed humorlessly.
"For months that's what I've been asking. I've spoken to everyone who will listen, you , Lee, even the president. No one has even considered the possibility of talking to them, and now you say it like it's the simplest thing in the world. Like that will fix this," she ranted. Sam was taken aback by her hostility.
"I'm saying we can do what you wanted. Why is that a bad thing?" he stammered, trying to find some footing in this conversation.
"Because it's too late," she yelled miserably as she pushed past him. Sam called after her, but she refused to listen. She'd spent months trying to find someone willing to listen, and all her pleas had fallen on deaf ears. Now that she'd finally made up her mind and resorted to bringing her pleas before the cylons, Sam finally decided to listen. It was cruel. Cruel to make her hope, when she knew that as soon as she stopped crying about it his concern would fade. He would remember what they did on New Caprica, what they did to Kara, and he would be sure that the only way he could be happy is with the cylons dead. It was unfair of Sam to offer her hope when she knew there was none to be had. Kestra dropped off the supplies, but she didn't return to the raptor. She walked past the tent, past a nearby outcropping, collapsed on the ground, and sobbed.
