"If Kara dies out there, I swear to gods I will kill you myself."

"If she dies out there I'll let you," Lee replied, staring deadpan back at Sam. Sam looked around the room, particularly at Mathias who still had her weapon trained on him.

"So what are you going to do now, follow me around with a gun because that is the only way that I am not going after Kara," Sam said firmly. Lee ran a hand over his head. Kestra watched the exchange closely. Sam and Lee had been at each other's throats since Kara's ship had gone down. She, on the other hand, had been thinking. There was never going to be another opportunity like this. A lone raptor away from the fleet and the cylon base ship just out of orbit. It was perfect. She'd never had any faith in the human's gods, but this situation felt like fate. If she found the raptor all she'd have to do is drop Kara off at the base and she'd have a ticket right to the cylons. Kestra glanced up at the hill where Galen and the others had gone. She'd been waiting for a moment to get away, and this was it. Maybe this way she could do one last thing for both Lee and Sam before she left.

"I'll go," she said. Both men whipped around to stare at her as if she'd just told them she was planning on boarding the cylon base ship. She smirked at her own warped humor, but she meant what she had said. Perhaps they wouldn't hate her as much if she saved Starbuck for them before she went. "You need Sam, fine, but let me go to get Starbuck," she reasoned when Lee did nothing but stare.

"Kestra, no," Lee said, finally finding his voice.

"You don't have any other options, Major. You said yourself, you need Sam here, and you can't very well leave your men. We know the coordinates where her ship went down, and there's bound to be a physical indication of her crash. I'm a good tracker. I can find her," Kestra argued.

"That's not the issue, Kestra," Lee said in a strained voice.

"I know the issue, Lee. You want to save Kara, but you don't want to put me in danger. Unless you can think of something better, this is the only way. Someone is going to have to risk going out to get her, and I can do it. You don't have any other options," she explained calmly. Of course he was going to be stubborn about it, but she had to do this. She needed that raptor, and she had to save Kara for him. Lee looked to Sam for some kind of intervention, but Sam just nodded.

"Have you lost your minds?" Lee asked incredulously, "what good will it do Starbuck if you die out there too?"

"I won't," Kestra said firmly.

"You don't know that."

Trust me.

Lee met her gaze and sighed.

This isn't about trust, and you know it.

Kestra walked up to him and ran a hand down his arm until she was holding his hand in hers. She squeezed his hand as she looked into his eyes.

Trust me.

Lee stared skeptically at her pleading eyes. She was asking for more than his trust in this moment, more than his trust that she could get to Kara. She was asking for his trust in her. He didn't know this of course, but he knew that this was about more than Kara.

"Of course I trust you," he said softly, resting his forehead against hers. Kestra smiled and a tear slipped down her cheek and she relished the feel of his hand in hers. She was painfully aware that it may be the last time. She pulled away and wiped away the tears. If she didn't leave now she might never be able to go.

I'll be careful. I promise.

You'd better.

"Alright," she said with a forced smile, "you'll need to send me the last coordinates you have for Kara's raptor." She quickly set about preparing to go after Starbuck, anything to avoid Lee's gaze. She couldn't stand to see his worry or his affection. Both drove into her heart like a knife.

"Did I miss something?" Sam asked, looking between the pair in bewilderment. The officers in the tent looked equally confused by the exchange. Kestra ignored it, but Lee took the scrutiny in stride.

"Kestra is going to find Starbuck's raptor while we hold this position until the Chief finds the Eye of Jupiter," Lee said to the group. Sam looked between them for another moment before nodding cautiously. Lee returned the nod, and then turned to his wife. She had gathered supplies including a large gun that she had slung over her shoulder. Lee frowned as she approached him. "You have the coordinates?"

"Sykes gave them to me," she confirmed with a nod.

"I want an update every five minutes," Lee ordered. Kestra raised a brow.

"That would clutter up the radio traffic, Major," she said pointedly, "how about every half hour?"

"Every ten minutes," he countered.

"Half hour," she said firmly. Lee shook his head and drew closer to her. He wrapped his arms around her tightly.

"Half hour," he agreed, "but if you don't respond I'm sending a whole squadron after you." She smiled and nodded softly. This seemed to appease him and he kissed her hairline before letting her go. Kestra nodded to him before making her way to the door. Sam stopped her before she was able to exit.

'Be careful," he said seriously. Kestra nodded. "And thank you." She grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

"I'll find her," she said. She hesitated letting his hand go. There was so much she wanted to say to him, to everyone. She wouldn't get to say goodbye to Laura, or Callie, or Galen. She was going to hurt so many of her friends and it tore her up to think so. If she couldn't say goodbye to them, she'd at least get to with Sam. "Goodbye," she said softly, "don't give up, Sam. You're needed here more than you know." With that she squeezed his hand and disappeared out the door. Sam stood in shock for a moment, registering the finality of her goodbye. By the time he'd gathered his thoughts and followed her out of the tent, she was gone. Sam reluctantly reentered the tent and received his orders from Major Adama.

Kestra had a long walk ahead of her, which gave her plenty of time to gather her emotions. She cried silently as she slunk through the sparse brush on the planet's surface. As she drew closer to the coordinates given to her by Private Sykes, Kestra put all of her focus on the task at hand. She couldn't worry about the past when so much was at stake.

"I'm at the coordinates," she radioed once she'd made it to the point indicated on the maps.

"Do you see her?" Lee asked almost immediately.

"No, but I see smoke a few miles away. It's gotta be her," Kestra replied.

"Alright, go check it out, but be careful," Lee said.

"I will." Kestra began moving up the hill to a more clear patch of the terrain. Suddenly, shots rang out from the nearby cliffs. Kestra ducked behind a cluster of rocks. She took note of the direction the shots had come from on the mountain behind her. The centurions were probably heading for the Eye of Jupiter. She moved between patches of brush and rocks, narrowly avoiding the shots that continued to ring out from the cliffs above. She knew that some of the centurions must have changed course to follow her, because she was moving distinctly away from the eyes of Jupiter. If she wasn't so determined to get to Kara she would have followed them back to the heavy raiders now and cut out the middleman in getting aboard the base ship. She made a dash and the centurions opened fire again. Kestra fell to the ground and shot up into the mountains. The centurion fire slowed, but she knew she couldn't move from her position without being seen by them. She wasn't a good enough shot to knock out the centurions from down here, and she'd never reach Kara if she stayed where she was. She looked around but there were only small bushes and rocks in the clearing around her. The only thing protecting her from the cylons at this point was the uneven terrain. She was pinned down by the cylons for longer than she'd like. She knew that as soon as somebody reached the Eye of Jupiter both ships would be leaving the planet. The cylons wouldn't wait for the people on the planet. They would take whoever was ready to leave, and the others would be reborn after they'd safely left the planet's atmosphere. She had to do something fast, or she'd miss her chance. She looked up at the mountains where the centurions were hidden. She just needed a way to slow them down so she could get to Starbuck. She looked at the brush around her and had a crazy idea. She had lived on Nepenthe for so long, she could start a fire out of practically anything. The bushes were so dry, it didn't take much for them to light up. The fire grew quickly and the bushes burned fast, so Kestra knew she had to work fast. She got up under the cover of the fire and ran in the direction of the smoking ship. Luckily for her, the fire did it's job and caused enough of a distraction to conceal her escape from the centurions. Kestra had nearly reached the ship when she heard a voice.

Kestra! Where are you?

She stopped in her tracks and looked around, forgetting for a moment that Lee's voice was only present in her mind. She looked down at her radio and realized that it had been over a half hour since she had last checked in. She quickly picked up the device as she resumed her trek toward the crash site.

"Almost there," she shouted into the speaker as she neared the wreckage.

"Why the hell didn't you check in?" came the angry voice on the other end of the line.

"I had bigger problems to deal with," she replied, her voice laced with frustration.

"You… -ight," Lee's voice cut in and out on the radio.

"I can't hear you," she yelled. The only reply she received was static as she reached the smoking wreckage of the downed raptor. It looked fairly intact, though there was no sign of Starbuck from the outside.

Are you alright?

Lee's voice interrupted her evaluation of the crash. She rolled her eyes as she tried not to project her frustration in her reply.

I'm fine. I'll contact you when I can, but you have to stop doing this. There was silence for a moment, and she couldn't tell if she had lost her connection to Lee or not.

Fine.

She could feel the hurt in his reply, and for a moment she thought about apologizing. In the end, she decided that an apology would only prolong the torment. She'd already said goodbye, and right now she needed to focus on getting Starbuck to safety. She found the open hatch of the ship, and as soon as she crawled up to see inside Starbuck had a gun pulled.

"Hey, hey," Kestra yelled as she ducked away from the weapon, "it's me. Don't shoot." Kara looked momentarily relieved to see a familiar face before frowning in confusion.

"Lee sent you?" she asked in disbelief. Kestra shook her head.

"I volunteered," she said. Kara narrowed her eyes causing Kestra to smirk. "I didn't want anyone else coming out here to try saving you… so I can make sure you stay lost out here, and I can have them both to myself." She kept eye contact with Kara as she watched her shock turn to irritation.

"It wouldn't surprise me," Kara muttered. Kestra stepped into the raptor and looked around.

"You know you're going to have to trust me a little bit or neither of us are getting out of here," Kestra said as she sat in front of Kara, "Sam and Lee trust me to get you out of here, so just trust them." She looked pointedly at Kara until she received a reluctant eye roll which she took as a sign of agreement. "Good, now let me help you with that." Kestra gestured to Kara's hands. Kara tentatively held her hands out and offered up the syringe of anesthetic. Kestra gently took it and injected it into Kara's hands before bandaging them up. Kara kept a skeptical eye on Kestra as she moved up into the cockpit. "Are you gonna come show me how to fix it?" She looked back expectantly at Kara who didn't budge. The teasing smile left Kestra's face, and she addressed Kara seriously. "Look, I know you don't like me and I know that you'd rather Lee had come to your rescue, but you've got me. The longer you sit here and brood about the inadequate rescue party the more time the cylons will have to find us. I slowed them down, but they could come over that ridge at any second."

"You let them follow you here?" Kara snapped, her eyes darting to the horizon searching for centurions descending the hill.

"I was in a tight spot, and it was slow them down or leave you here and head back. If we survive you can yell at me about it later, but right now I need you to tell me how to get this bird in the air." Kara tore her eyes away from the landscape long enough to glare at Kestra before climbing into the cockpit with her. Kestra took that moment to remember that Lee was probably freaking out about them both and needed some reassurance.

Found her. Figuring a way out now.

She waited expectantly for a response, and she wasn't disappointed.

Thank you.

She smiled sadly, proud that he hadn't demanded more details or insisted on more frequent contact. He was trusting her just like she asked, and she lamented that it would undoubtedly hurt him. She looked up to see Kara staring at her like she was insane.

"Are you gonna pay attention or smile out the window?" she snapped. Kestra breathed a short laugh.

"Sorry," she muttered, "what do you need?"

"You have to check to make sure the toasters didn't put a hole in my ship, fix the avionics, and then you're going to have to fly us out of here," Kara said flatly, holding her hands up as proof of her inability to fly.

"Flying I can do," Kestra said confidently, "it's the avionics that have me worried." She eyes the machinery in front of her warily. "Let's get to work."

"The fly-by-wire is busted, so you're going to have to bypass those bundles with the datacord from the comm system," Kara explained. Kestra ran a hand through her hair and sighed.

"Listen Kara, I know you're used to dealing with competent military men, but I've never heard of a fly-by-wire much less fixed one so you're going to have to explain a lot better than that. Talk to me like I'm an idiot," she said. Kara narrowed her eyes.

"You are an idiot," she mumbled. Kestra smiled as Kara began to walk her through the repairs. Kestra was just beginning to feel that she was getting the hang of it when Kara groaned and leaned back in her seat. Kestra looked up and saw that she was holding up her hands painfully again. She quickly grabbed more anesthetic and injected it into her hands. She was finishing up when Kara spoke.

"Why did they send you?" she asked gruffly. Kestra ignored the question and returned her attention back to the cables in front of her.

"What do I do next?" she asked.

"Why are you avoiding my question?" Kara asked.

"I'm not. I'm trying to get us both out of here alive. Now, what's next?"

"Just take that cord and plug it in where you took those wires out," Kara said. Kestra followed her instructions.

"Lee wouldn't let Sam come after you. He needed him to protect the base while they evacuated, so I volunteered to go," she said as she plugged in the wires.

"Sam wanted to come?" Kara asked, feigning disinterest.

"Of course he did. He loves you," Kestra replied, "now what?" Kara was silent for a moment as she contemplated the other woman's words. She saw Kestra staring at her and snapped back into focus.

"That's all for the avionics. Check the hull for damage, and we can take off," she said. Kestra nodded, but before she left it appeared Kara couldn't help but add another comment. "Anything to get you back to my husband and my best friend." Kestra glared at her.

"Your best friend happens to be my husband, and your husband is one of my best friends. Your husband wouldn't have to come to me so often if you would just open up and tell him anything about what you're feeling. And Lee wouldn't have to avoid you if you would respect him and the fact that he chose me." Kara scowled and opened her mouth to argue, but Kestra beat her to it. "He chose me, Kara, and he will never be with you. Not now. If you wouldn't have tried so hard to get him back by dishonoring your own oaths as well as his, maybe you could have had a chance now, but I doubt Lee will ever look at you that way after what you've done. You're lost, Kara, and if you don't turn around quickly there will be no one to turn to when you do." With that, Kestra left the ship leaving Kara gaping at the open hatch. Kestra circled the ship and found no signs of major hull damage, nothing that would prevent it from making the trip back to Galactica. Kestra was about to get back in the ship and pilot it away when a blinding light filled the horizon.

"What was that?" she shouted into the hatch.

"The star just went nova," Kara shouted, "come on we've got to get out of here." Kestra looked up into the atmosphere. The cylons wouldn't stick around long after that. If she was going to get out it had to be now. She didn't have time to fly Kara back to the camp. She glanced up the ridge and saw the centurions heading back the way they had come. That was her chance. She jumped in the hatch and grabbed the last of the anesthetic and began to inject it into Starbuck's hands.

"What are you doing?" Starbuck demanded.

"You have to fly yourself out of here," Kestra said calmly. Kara scoffed.

"I can't," she said as if she was talking to a child.

"You're the best pilot in the fleet. The anesthetic will dull the pain enough for you to make it back to Galactica. You have to go now," Kestra ordered as she crawled back up and out of the hatch.

"Where the frak are you going?" Kara demanded angrily. Kestra took a final moment to look at the irate pilot.

"I'm not coming back. If you want to live, you fly yourself out of here. There's nothing stopping you…" she looked at Kara sincerely, while the pilot looked at her like she was crazy. "Tell Lee…" Kestra's eyes filled with tears as she tried to speak, "tell him I love him, and I'm sorry." With that, Kestra jumped out, closed the hatch and took off over the ridge. She glanced back long enough to see the raptor take off toward Galactica. She sighed in relief as she ran in the direction of the centurions. She knew that if she didn't get off with them now she would be killed in the nova, but that was a risk she had to take. She came upon a field with a couple heavy raiders all preparing to take off. Kestra was able to slip through. In the centurion's preparation to leave, they weren't looking for enemies. Kestra slipped by onto a heavy raider and hid behind a pile of cargo. The raider filled with centurions and took off with the rest of their fleet. There was no turning back now.

Kara's raptor landed safely on Galactica along with the others from the planet just before they jumped to escape the nova. Kara sat frozen in the cockpit for a moment, shocked by everything that had happened. The loss of Kestra was of no consequence to her, but she had no idea what she was going to tell Lee. She finally got up from her seat, the pain in her hands nearly unbearable by this point, and stumbled to the hatch. There were people waiting to treat her injuries as soon as she got off the raptor. Kara glanced around as her hands were tended to. There were two other raptors on the deck. The first was already open and a body had been unloaded. Kara didn't have time to worry about who was in the body bag, because the second raptor opened to reveal Sam and Lee. Kara couldn't help but smile as Sam raced across the bay and scooped her up into a hug. She clung to him as hard as she could, relishing the warmth of his body and the intensity of his love. She regretted the moment when he pulled away, because the first thing she saw was Lee's face just behind him. Kara avoided his gaze quickly, choosing to look into Sam's eyes, desperate for the relief they provided.

"Kara?" She grimaced at the sound of Lee's voice, but was unable to avoid it. Sam pulled away so that he was facing the major, and there were no more barriers between Lee and Kara. "Where's Kestra?" Lee glanced into the raptor as if he believed she was just waiting inside and would happily come out as soon as he asked for her. He turned away from the empty ship and back to Kara who remained silent. "Kara, where is she?" Lee said louder, drawing the attention of the other members of the crew on deck. The admiral and the president were both present, and both were drawn to the argument that was brewing.

"She didn't come back," Kara said softly. The anger in Lee's eyes dissipated as he was told that Kestra had not made it off the planet. His anger did not stay away long as he focused again on Starbuck.

"You left her?" he accused, grabbing her by the collar. Sam stepped in and pushed Lee off of his wife, though he too looked at her with a questioning gaze. Kara was riled by Lee's attitude and eager to fight back.

"I didn't leave her," she shouted, "she left. She fixed up the ship, and told me to get back on my own. It was her choice to leave, not mine." Lee furrowed his brow in confusion.

"That's insane," he argued, "she didn't have anywhere to go. The star went nova. If she stayed behind she'd die." Kara continued to glare even as Lee's gaze faltered at the unthinkable outcome he was now imagining.

"I don't know why she did it. She didn't stick around to explain it to me," Kara argued, "she told me to tell you she loves you and she's sorry." Lee had no response to Kara's words. It was unmistakable that Kestra had meant to stay behind, but he couldn't think of a reason why. Sam took this moment to speak up.

"She… she said goodbye to me before she went to save Kara. It was- it sounded like she wasn't planning on coming back," he said, looking at Lee.

"Then why didn't you stop her?" Lee shouted. Sam backed up, aware that Lee was very emotional at the moment.

"I was shocked. She was gone before I could do anything," he said. Lee began to pace the deck, tears streaming down his face without his permission. He kept looking at the floor, because every time he looked up it only made it more real. Floor. Laura Roslin crying into his father's shoulder. Floor. Kara glaring from the wing of the raptor. Floor. A pitied glance from Helo as he took his wife and daughter off the deck. Floor. His father's always disapproving stare. Floor. Sam slowly inching toward him like he was a spooked horse. Floor.

"Lee," Sam said softly, "she left on purpose. I know she did. That means she had to have a plan. She didn't want to die."

"Then why!" Lee shouted looking back up at Sam whose face was now inches from his own. They were all silent except for a commotion around one of the other raptors, but Lee couldn't be bothered to care about that. Sam placed a gentle hand on Lee's shoulder. He flinched but let Sam's hand remain where it was.

"She's trying to fix it," Sam said softly so only Lee could hear. Lee looked him questioningly in the eye. "The last time I talked to her she talked about ending the fighting peacefully. How none of us were willing to do it." Lee's brow furrowed as he tried to form a sentence.

"Are you saying she wanted to go with them?" he asked, not in disbelief but in all sincerity. Sam nodded.

"I offered to do it her way," Sam admitted, "to talk, but she said it was too late. I think she'd already made up her mind to go." Lee let out a breath and had to hold onto Sam to keep upright as he processed this. The surrounding crew had heard the end of their conversation and murmurs erupted. Admiral Adama chose this moment, a terrible choice to be sure, to speak.

"If she chose to leave with the cylons, then she's a traitor," he said loudly so that all the gathered crew could hear, "no better than Baltar. She's better off dead." Laura, who had been leaning on the Admiral for support, stood straight up and glared at him.

"She spent a year on New Caprica fighting the cylons and Gaius Baltar with the resistance. A year defending our people while you were stuck lightyears away doing nothing," she spat. Adama was physically taken aback by Laura's hostility, and backed a few steps away from the angered president. "You don't get to throw around those accusations without damn good reason, and right now you have none. You have speculation and hearsay, so if you want my office and the quorum to continue to support your military, Admiral Adama, you'd better be careful what you say next." Admiral Adama was effectively shut up by President Roslin, who turned to his son next. "Lee?" she asked gently. He looked at the president who in the aftermath of her rant looked as broken as he felt inside. He turned to Sam who appeared to be genuinely concerned for him though he had a feeling the other man's concern was in greater part for his wife. Kara looked as irritated as ever, and Lee elected to ignore her. Lee felt lost. Every face he looked at either pitied him because his wife was likely dead or hated him because his wife was likely a traitor. The only face he wanted to see was the one he might never see again. He couldn't be around all these people. He couldn't sit and listen while they cursed her name and patted themselves on the back for being right about her all along. He also couldn't watch Laura Roslin mourn the closest thing she had to a daughter when he didn't believe she was dead. He couldn't believe she was dead. He would feel it if she was. Surely with their connection, he would know if she had died. He reached out into the nothingness he felt around him, hoping for a miracle.

Kestra… Kestra, please…

There was nothing. Perhaps there would always be nothing. He'd never hear her voice in his head again. He'd never feel her joy when he walked in a room, or her anger when he didn't put his own laundry away. Maybe it was easier to believe she was dead. No. Sam was right. If she had left, it was because they hadn't been willing to put aside their hatred to end the endless bloodshed around them. She'd left because he wouldn't listen. She'd left because of him. Lee lost what little hope he'd held onto since he'd seen Kara exit the raptor alone. It was his fault. If she hadn't died on the planet, the cylons were sure to finish the job. She was as good as dead, and he'd pushed her there. Sam was right.

"Get me out of here." Sam nodded and led the major away from the hangar and the prying eyes of his crew and family. He was the only one who understood like Lee did. This was their fault.