Chapter 2
As I pulled up in front of the duplex that had been my family home for all of my life, I considered why it was that I was so nervous. This was my life, so surely, I had the right to make my own choices. What was the worst that my mother could do? Criticize me, shout at me even or maybe refuse to feed me. I could cope with that and in the end, she'd get used to the idea and come around. Yeah, I could cope with whatever she threw at me and tell her in no uncertain terms that I had no intention of marrying Joe.
I felt empowered as I walked into the house, prepared for my first conversation with my father, until I heard voices coming from the kitchen.
"What do mean you saw Angie, what did she have to say?"
Hearing my grandmother say that had the feeling of empowerment shrink down to my shoes. I waited outside the door wanting to know what was being talked about. Angie was Joe's mother and normally my mother and Joe's mother tolerated each other, they didn't usually talk that often, probably because I was pretty sure that Angie didn't see me as a future daughter in law. Did that mean that both of our mothers had heard the rumors? Surely, Joe wouldn't have lied to his mother, would he? Wouldn't he have told her what had happened if she'd asked?
"She told me that Joseph was working on a case out of town, nothing else"
"Then give Stephanie a call. I don't know why you have to listen to the rumors Ellen"
I smiled at hearing my grandmother say that to my mother, at least it gave me the heads up that my mother had heard something, what I wasn't too sure, but I wasn't holding my breath. I plastered a smile on my face and walked into the kitchen ready for the questions to fly. I'd hardly stepped into the room when my mother turned to me, the expression on her face almost hopeful.
"Is it true?"
That was a leading question for me, I mean was she asking me if it was true that I'd taken old Mrs. O'Kelly into the station or if it was true that Mr Critchin was only wearing his boxer shorts when I pushed him into my car? There were so many things that had happened in the last few weeks that I could hope that she was talking about one of those.
"Is what true Mum?"
I wandered over to the stove and poured myself a coffee from the freshly brewed pot before sitting down at the table. I made sure that my left hand was around the mug for both of them to see.
"Don't be sassy with me young lady. Where's the ring?"
"What ring Mum?"
I saw her roll her eyes, something that I must have inherited from her and then as she pursed her lips together. For once my mother wasn't sure what was going on.
"I had to turn my phone off this morning. The calls were incessant, asking me if it was true. I was taken totally by surprise and of course I had to accept the congratulations. Why didn't you tell me?"
I knew what she was talking about but decided to extend her ignorance.
"Tell you what Mum?"
"That you and Joseph are getting married"
Okay, now I knew what I was up against. The rumors of an engagement had already made their rounds and people were already ambushing my mother.
"We're not"
I was surprised when my mother sat down next to me, her eyes focused on my left hand and a look of puzzlement across her face.
"They said that you were seen in a restaurant and Joseph had a blue ring box"
I wasn't too sure how far to taunt my mother so decided to just tell her the truth, at least then that would put an end to the anticipation she was heading for.
"He asked and I said no"
"You did what? Why would you say no? You're not getting any younger and he's a good man, he'd make a good husband"
I looked at my grandma who was sat listening intently, not sure if she was listening in order to have something to gossip about in the morning or listening because she understood where I might be coming from.
"He wants me to be a housewife and have babies. I don't want that life mum"
Why did I feel that I needed to explain myself to my own mother when it was my decision to make?
"It's a good life, it's what all the girls here in the Burg aspire to"
I was so tempted to say, not me, but decided that wouldn't help my cause. As I looked down at my hand around the mug, I also realized that I hadn't really thought through the real reason for refusing to marry Joe. It wasn't just about having to become a Burg housewife and changing my life for Joe, it went deeper than that. If Joe and I truly loved each other we'd have found a way to make things work, that was what couples in love did, wasn't it?.
"I don't love him enough to give up my life for him"
Plus, I was pretty damn sure that he didn't love me enough to accept what I wanted from life. I could hear the disappointment and frustration coming from my mother as she groaned and sighed.
"What am I going to tell everyone?"
I watched as grandma moved her dentures around in her mouth and as she smiled at me.
"You sound more upset that you've already started looking at booking places Ellen. Is that what's worrying you? That you took the gossip and ran with it before talking to your own daughter?"
I closed my eyes at hearing what grandma had said, hell my mother would want me to marry Joe just to save face in front of her friends and for her to be able to tell them that her daughter was moving into the ranks of the Burg wives. I turned as my father came into the kitchen and poured himself some coffee but of course my mother was talking to him straight away.
"Stephanie isn't marrying Joseph"
With the way she said it, it was almost as though she expected my father to say something.
"Tell her Frank, tell her she needs to reconsider, that Joseph would be a good husband for her"
My father sat down on my other side and patted my thigh as he took a sip from his mug. When he put the mug down on the table, he turned to me making me worry with what he might have to say.
"Never did like that boy"
You could have heard a pin drop in the silence that followed that. Never before had my father expressed an opinion on who I went out with. It confused me until I thought about it. I'd always got on better with my father than I had my mother until I'd reached my teens and then he seemed to be resigned to allow my mother to take control of my life. I'd never really analyzed it before because he just seemed to slip out of my life, and I'd just assumed that he felt that my mother knew better about how to handle me.
My mother got up from the table and started to pace the kitchen.
"Well then, she can go with you to your family wedding"
That had three of us staring at her. What family wedding was my first thought and the second was why would I need to go with my father.
"Why would she want to go with me to a wedding? You didn't want to go"
I looked at my mother as she stared at my father. Okay this was news to me, so what was it about this wedding that had her not wanting to go?
"If she goes with you then the rumors will run dry, and I can say that it was all a mistake. Angie didn't seem to know anything about it, but I just assumed that Joseph hadn't told her, what with him leaving town suddenly on a case"
It seemed that Joe had the right idea. Maybe he knew what the fallout would be and had decided to avoid it by being out of town. I suppose my mother had a point. Being out of town might stop the gossip. But why did my mother not want to go with my father to a family wedding? That was something that I needed to find out about. The only way that I was going to get any answers was by asking my father.
"So, this wedding, when is it?"
I asked hoping my father might think it was a good idea for me to go.
"We leave Wednesday"
My father never looked at me or my mother as he said that and showed no emotion one way or another. Mentally I was going through my head how doable that would be. It would give me two days to bring in any outstanding skips and prepare for a trip, not much time, but not impossible.
"That's settled then. Stephanie, bring the clothes that you will need to take with you here and I'll wash and iron them"
My father never argued or said a word for that matter, instead he finished his coffee, put his mug in the sink and walked out of the kitchen. I had no idea if he was pleased or not to have me going with him and I wasn't sure whether to be pleased or not that I'd just agreed to accompany my father, but then it was only a wedding, so how bad could it be?
An hour later I was back at my apartment with instructions from my mother to take some clothes and Rex over to the house in the morning. After opening my apartment door, I walked straight through to the bedroom with the intention of finding something suitable to take. I had no idea where we were going so just stood in front of my closet trying to decide what would be the best selection to take. I jumped at hearing a sound behind me and turned to see Lula coming out of the bathroom. To be honest when I didn't see her on the couch, I just thought that she'd left. Did I see her Firebird in the parking lot? I can't say that I did, so I hoped that no one had stolen it.
"Where's your car Lula?"
"My beau asked to borrow it and then said he'd detail it for me"
I suppose I'd been so overwhelmed this morning with my own problems that I'd totally forgotten to ask Lula about her date last night.
"This the man you went out with last night?"
I asked as I continued to scan the clothes hung up.
"He sure is. He's mighty fine and Lula here was all too happy to show her appreciation. That nightclub, they play these sexy songs just before midnight, so I got him in the mood, if you know what I mean"
"Uh huh"
I replied trying very hard not to imagine exactly what Lula meant. Being a ho in her past life gave Lula a lot of experience and no inhibitions when it came to sex, so I was hoping that she wasn't going to start to describe what had happened after they had left the nightclub, that would definitely be too much information.
"I wore that purple shift dress, you know, the one that I bought last week"
I knew the dress. Connie and I had been there when Lula had come rushing into the office to show us her new purchase. She'd insisted she tried it on for us to see just how amazing she looked in it. It had been purple with sparkling pink diamantes stitched around the bodice, a bodice that to be honest had been straining at the seams across her breasts. It was strapless and short showing everyone who dared to look a full view of her arse when she bent over.
"What the hell are you doing, are you sorting out your wardrobe. Now I could help you out there seeing as I know what suits you"
I turned to Lula not realizing that I'd piled some dresses onto the bed in an attempt to find a suitable dress to wear for a wedding. I was close to sighing as I continued to look at the clothes in the closet and was almost regretting having agreed to go with my father.
"I'm going to a family wedding so need something suitable"
Which it seemed I just didn't have. Any dresses that I did have were too short or too revealing as I'd worn them when I was going out to a nightclub or doing a distraction for Rangeman. My wardrobe tended to be based on jeans and T-shirts, clothes that were comfortable or that I didn't mind if they got ruined. I watched as Lula picked some dresses up and held them up by their hangers as though trying to visualize how they would look.
"Yeah, I see what you mean. We need to hit the mall"
I slowly picked up the dresses and started to hang them back in the closet thinking that maybe she was right.
"Where's this wedding at?"
Turning to Lula as she asked that I realized that I had no idea. It had to be out of town, or my mother wouldn't have jumped at the opportunity to get me to go, and it must be for a few days if she expected me to take some clothes over for her to launder.
"White Girl, you need details. Up north where it might be cooler or down south where it could be warmer. You need the right wardrobe"
Sighing I sat on the bed and pulled out my phone from my jeans pocket finding the contact for my father. I decided a message was better seeing as he was usually reluctant to talk.
"Clothes, for somewhere cold or warm?"
I was surprised when a reply came back so quickly. Looking at Lula at least I had a better idea of what to pack.
"Somewhere warm"
"I bet it's some swanky hotel, so you'll need swimwear for the pool. Girl this might be just what you need to cleanse yourself of Morelli. Think about it, all those hunks that might be there"
I didn't want to think about it like that because I had no intention of looking for a man. I'd had enough of worrying about the men in my life as it was. Okay so Joe was officially no longer my man and Ranger never had been, but the grief that the two of them had caused me over the years had me determined not to get involved with anyone again. Well maybe not ever again, maybe there was that special person out there for me, but I would be more cautious before getting involved again. In some ways I still felt as though I was grieving over the end of the relationship with Joe and my heart couldn't withstand the hurt that it felt when I thought of Ranger.
"What's Batman said?"
Hell did I say something out loud?
"About what?"
Lula was slowly going through my underwear drawer pulling out lacy bras and panties.
"He's hot for you so he'll be pleased to know that officer hottie is out of the picture"
I wasn't so sure about that. Maybe that had been the appeal that he'd had for me, someone who was seen as already on her way to a happily ever after, so would never demand anything more from him.
"I haven't seen him for ages, besides we're just good friends"
Yeah, friends with benefits. I closed my eyes as I realized what that said about me. Okay, I hadn't always succumbed to the desire that swept through me every time that I was with him, but recently that had been harder to do. Even just thinking about him sent shivers down my spine, what woman wouldn't be attracted to someone who was so drop dead gorgeous. Maybe that was in my subconscious when I refused to marry Joe. I mean if I was truly in love with Joe, I would never have allowed myself to sleep with another man. I vowed that I would never get myself into that situation again. The pleasure from a few hours of sex just wasn't worth the heartache that followed. I sat on the bed separating out the bras and panties until I had a few matching sets, conscious that Lula was watching me.
"You aint like me girl. Sex is part of the ritual for me, it don't take anything away from me, but you. You see it as giving away a part of yourself. I know you've done the deed with Ranger, and I've seen the way you look at him when he's around. He aint good for you, the way he treats you like that. He takes too much and never gives back"
Lula was sat next to me on the bed as what she'd said hit home. I'd fallen in love with a man who might love me in his own way but would never allow himself to give a piece of himself to anyone else. Was he selfish? No, that was the way he was, and he had always been honest with me. Lula was right I'd been naive and stupid to ever think that there could be anything more between us other than friendship.
I felt Lula's arm around my shoulder as though trying to console me and then as she squeezed me.
"This trip is gonna be good for you girl"
I smiled through the tears that were forming in my eyes before wiping my hands over my face, yeah, some time away would be a good way to reassess my life and what I wanted.
I piled the clothes that we'd chosen into a small bag deciding to drop them off on the way to work with my mother in the morning. Lula got a text soon after and left to meet up with her beau downstairs. I watched from the bedroom window as her red Firebird drove into the parking lot and as she got into the passenger seat. As the car stood stationary it had me thinking that maybe they'd missed each other and were canoodling in the front seat. Maybe this was the man for Lula, I hoped so because she deserved to be happy with a man after the life that she'd had.
Turning I decided that if I was going to be away for a few days then I should tidy up my apartment. There was nothing worse than coming back home to somewhere untidy.
The rest of the evening was spent doing just that. I hoovered, dusted and cleaned surfaces deciding that if my mother wanted to do my laundry then she could throw in my towels and sheets for washing. Rex had new bedding as well as me so by the time that I'd finished I was ready to fall between the clean sheets on my bed. In some ways I did feel better, I was starting to look forward to being away with my father. Maybe it would give us an opportunity to reconnect and at least I might find out why my mother had refused to go. I just had two days to get through before then so if I kept my head down then maybe I wouldn't need to explain anything to anyone.
After dropping my laundry off the next morning, I was on my way to the bonds office. I'd hit the Burg early enough to avoid being seen and no way was I calling off at the Tasty Pastry for doughnuts, that positive feeling wasn't strong enough to have to listen to any gossip from there or have to answer any questions. I had no luck at parking outside of the office so ended up a block away and having to walk. I wasn't surprised that there was only Connie there, it was far too early for Lula. I found the receipts for the skips from the week before and handed them to Connie watching as she smiled as she read through them, because she'd been doubtful that I'd find one of them.
"You did well to find Huckby, I thought he'd have left the area"
I think that I was grimacing at the memory of eventually finding him. He'd been a medium sized bond, so I was determined to catch him. After a lot of trekking around town and asking questions, I'd caught a lead at a gambling shop just off Stark Street. It seemed that Huckby was into cock fighting and there just happened to be one happening that evening. Lula had refused to come with me, citing her allergy to hens, so I'd ended up there on my own. I hadn't been too sure how I was going to do the actual capture, but two things had been in my favor.
I'd parked my car away from the derelict warehouse with the intention of checking to see if he was actually there or not. If I saw him then I'd move my car closer amongst the other cars parked up for the meet. I'd done my best to conceal my identity because even I knew that some of the men there would recognize me. An oversized hoodie over jeans and boots with a black hat to cover my hair. I'd decided to walk around in plain sight rather than trying to be some sort of super sleuth dodging between the metal crates that held the birds.
It was weird that no one seemed to take any notice of me and that had me feeling more confident than I should have been. I'd spotted Huckby eventually, close to a man who looked to be taking bets. That Huckby had started an argument hadn't surprise me because he was wanted for assaulting another man outside of a bar after an argument instigated by Huckby. Here though he looked to be outnumbered and it wasn't long before he was being escorted from the area by a couple of very large men.
I'd followed, pleased when they pushed him out through an exit onto the street. He had been on his own and grumbling as he'd started to walk away so I'd taken that as being in my favor. Yeah, that confidence had nearly been my undoing but at the time I hadn't even considered that something could go wrong. He hadn't given any indication that he knew that I was behind him until I was about to strike with my stun gun. That was when he'd turned around and lunged at me. My back had hit the sidewalk hard, and the stun gun was wrenched from my hand leaving me pretty defenseless against a now even more annoyed Huckby. That was when that confidence left me and was replaced by the fear that Huckby could very well seriously hurt me. I was totally regretting my stupidity at coming alone.
