7:30 am, first Monday in April 2007.
The park's staff gathered at the stoop of the old green clapboard house for their daily meeting. In front of them stands their boss, a tall skinny gumball machine named Benson. In his hands, he holds a clipboard attached to a sheet of paper listing the tasks for the day.
"OK, people; Listen up! I've got some announcements to make," said Benson as he addressed the assembled crew and read off the assignments for the day.
"First off, thanks for doing your jobs and making the 5th annual Easter Bunny Run 10K last Sunday a rousing success! Thanks to your help, we raised over $20,000 for the Erectile Dysfunction Awareness Foundation…" [interrupted by random chuckling].
"Mordecai and Rigby, please stop giggling," said Benson as he glared at the protagonists before continuing his speech.
"Now that this is over, we need to clean up the park. Which brings us to our current tasks."
"I need everyone to dispose of any remaining trash you find, be it hay bales, water bottles, and Powerbar wrappers, anything leftover from the run. If we all work together, this shouldn't take more than an hour or so, giving us time to mulch and weed the flower beds."
"For this: I want Skips in the loader, Muscleman in the dump truck, and Rigby and Mordecai on rake duty. Fives and I will shred branches from last week's pruning to provide us with additional mulch, as there is not enough in our existing pile."
"Time permitting, we can start planting the annuals. We have about sixteen flats waiting in the greenhouse."
"No problem Benson!" said Skips.
"I love driving the dump truck! You the man Benson!" said Muscleman
"You know who also loves driving the dump truck?" asked Muscleman to his colleagues.
"We know Muscleman; We know!" they replied in unison.
"Damnit, Benson! Why do we always get the lame jobs?" cried Rigby.
"Why!? Maybe you need to ask yourself why not!? If you two slackers applied yourselves for once; and demonstrated a level of maturity, you would get the fun jobs. Last time I gave you something challenging to do, you screwed up!"
"I had to call Muscleman's brother to bring his tow truck after you decided it would be a good idea to drive the Bobcat into the pond! So, you see my reluctance in giving you anything more than the simplest of tasks. Show me that you can work safely and efficiently, then we can talk. Got it?"
"Yes, Benson," whined Rigby dejectedly.
"I know, right!? How can you expect Benson to trust you with a chainsaw if you cannot use a hand saw properly" Mordecai teased Rigby.
"Stop talking!"
"No, I won't. Back when we made birdhouses in high school shop class, you couldn't even cut halfway through that ¼" sheet of plywood without your arm giving out."
"ENOUGH YOU TOO!" yelled Benson.
"Where was I? Current tasks, done… Oh yes, upcoming events!"
"Vacations: As you know, company policy requires two weeks advanced notice for any PTO period longer than one day. Summer is approaching. So if you plan on taking some time off, you also should plan on letting me know your plans as soon as possible."
"And last but not least, in approximately three weeks from now, on April 22nd, the City Park Foundation will have its 75th Annual Spring Gala. This year marks the 100th anniversary of the park's founding. Obviously, this will be quite a big event. The mayor [Rigby's eyes rolled at the mentioning], local TV crews, the Park commissioner, and even a congressional representative are all going to be there. So I will need everyone's help in setting this up and ensuring its success."
"Ohh, man. Do you mean the silly party where Mr. Maellard schmoozes with the other rich people in town, trying to get them to donate money for the park? My tongue's still stinging from all the papercuts I got last year from licking all those dang envelopes. Besides, Maellard would never invite us as guests; we aren't his type. And on the off chance he did, none of us could afford to go anyway," Rigby expounded.
"Whadya mean? Me and Fives went last year…" said Muscleman
"As waiters… Which means you had to work. You weren't guests!"
"Well, Rigby, this year you are wrong," said Benson with a tone of excitement. "In fact, I think all of you would be pleased to learn that you, me, and the rest of the park staff are all invited to attend The Gala for free!"
"What? No way!" said Mordecai.
"Huh?" said Hi-Five ghost.
"Way!" replied Benson.
"Good show!" exclaims Pops.
"I don't know…this sounds highly unusual," said Skips in his usual cynical tone.
"I know, right?!. Who'd think the old skinflint had it in him?" said Rigby in response.
"Yep. In recognition of our hard work, Mr. Maellard is extending the invitation to the entire park family and would like us to attend as his guests of honor," continued Benson a
"Furthermore, for the first time in almost 20 years, the party is being hosted right here in the park, at the old ballroom we renovated last spring."
"Sweet!" "WOOOO!" "Yeahhhhh!" "Good show!" exclaimed the different members of the staff, except for Mordecai. Oblivious to the conversation unfolding around him, he was busy daydreaming about bringing Margaret to The Gala. He smiled as he thought about how beautiful she would look in a dress, and how happy he would be to bring her along.
"Hopefully, she will come; hopefully, she feels the same way about me as I do about her," thought Mordecai.
"Now, don't get too excited; there are a few rules we need to go over. As you will be representing the park, I expect you all to be on your best behavior. If you cannot handle it, my advice would be not to go. As failure to follow these rules can jeopardize your continued employment at the park," Benson exclaimed.
"First, everyone is allowed two guests for free. If you want to bring three, then somebody else must agree to give you one of their invitations."
"You know who else is allowed to bring two guests?" said Muscleman to his co-workers.
My mom!" yelled Muscleman, as the others cringed at the repetitiveness of his joke.
"Um, unfortunately not," said Benson in his classic deadpan voice. "She can, however, be one of your guests, Muscleman."
"Sorry, Bro!"
"No problem, moving along…."
"Second, given this is a formal affair, I expect proper attire."
"Dude, I ain't wearing no suit," exclaimed Rigby.
"Me neither, bro!" said Muscleman in agreement.
"I said PROPER ATTIRE!" said an irritated red-faced Benson, his voice rising to an angry shout.
The crowd grew silent, and Benson continued, in his normal voice:
"And Third, there will be an open bar. However, I am limiting you all to three drinks apiece."
"What? No way! This sucks!"
"And no driving. If you drive to the park, you leave your keys with me and pick them up the next morning. This includes the cart…."
Muscleman and Fives started chatting about cutting donuts in the grass with the cart.
"I SAID THIS INCLUDES THE CART!" Benson got angry once more.
"However, as a reward, if you behave yourselves, I will be having an afterparty of sorts at the house."
"AHHHHH YEAH! AFTER-PARTAY!" screamed Rigby.
"Good show!" explained Pops.
"However, there is one more catch: mandatory cleanup starts at 10:30 am the day after. Miss it and be fired, OK!?."
"Any questions?"
Nobody raised their hand.
"Good, now let's get to work!"
And with that, everyone got up and left for their respective jobs except Mordecai, still lost in reverie, and Rigby, desperately trying to get his partner to snap out of it.
"Mordecai? Mordecai? Mordecai! MORDECAI! EARTH TO MORDECAI!" said Rigby in a rising voice.
"Huh, huh, What?" said a startled half-awake Mordecai.
"BRO, you were completely zoned out for the last half of the meeting."
"Uh, was I?"
"Uh yeah. Not only that, everyone left 10 minutes ago!" said Rigby with a chuckle.
"Sorry"
"Lemme guess, you were thinking about taking Margaret to the party."
"No, I wasn't."
"Yes, you were"
Rigby and Mordecai began to argue:
Just then, Benson spotted them as he was walking by.
'What in the hell are you two still doing here?! I gave you two slackers an assignment. NOW GO DO IT!"
"Sorry, Benson. Rigby and I were just having an intellectual conversation," said a surprised Mordecai.
"WALK AND TALK!"
"I NEED YOUR LAZY ASSES IN THE CAMELLIA BEDS NOW! SKIPS AND MUSCLEMAN ARE ALREADY THERE, WAITING!"
"WHEN I COME BACK IN AN HOUR, I EXPECT TO SEE YOUR LAZY ASSES HARD AT WORK. IF THEY'RE NOT, YOU'RE FIRED! UN-DER-STOOD?"
"Yes, Benson," they sighed. Continuing their argument, they walked to the camellia bed.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Here, Benson introduces The Gala to the crew. I love writing these chapters where Benson screams at Mordo & Rigs. I think their dynamic and dialog are among my favorite parts of the show to watch and the funniest from a fanfiction author's perspective to write! Enjoy, and please leave feedback.
