A/N What? Two chapters in as many days? You can thank the fact that I had the day off today, and also Dhorcas, who's wonderful reviews and PMs got me all inspired to spend the whole day writing! This might seem like a bit of a filler chapter, and maybe it is, but it contains some important set up for later. Thanks again to all who read.
CHAPTER 5
The unfortunate aftermath of my night with Damon did, for the most part, blow over. Stefan pretty much pretended that nothing had happened and we hadn't spoken about it since. I happily went along with that for a few reasons. One, Stefan clearly had jealousy issues (there was a red flag waving in my mind that went unnoticed) and bringing up his brother seemed like an unwelcome can opener that would release a shit load of worms. Two, thinking about that night brought on a tempest of emotions that were nearly impossible to deal with; most notably anger (at Stefan's behavior) and shame (in myself for letting it happen). Lastly, since things had calmed down, I was enjoying the peace and had absolutely no intention of disturbing it.
It was a sunny Saturday in late May and Stefan and I were lounging in bed (he had stayed over at my place the night before), avoiding the idea of starting our day, when he brought up something I was not expecting.
"So my Dad got me a place in West Chester. I'm headed out there in early August so I can settle in before school starts. I was thinking you should come with me." The way he said it was like it was a given that I would just pack up and leave with him because he had decided he wanted me to. "Once I finish pre-law there, I'll transfer to Harvard and I really think you'd love Boston." It's true, I had always wanted to see Boston and I was sure I would like it. I had skipped it on my cross-country road trip and always regretted it. That so wasn't the point, though.
"You want me to just abandon my life here to follow you across the country?" I asked incredulously, with a hint of annoyance in my tone.
"What life here? Elena, you work a shitty, meaningless job in a shitty bar, you don't talk to your family and... Just look at where you live!" He gestured around the room. "What would you be missing? Come with me and we'll live in a nice bug and murder free building. It'll be a huge step up for you. I mean, shit 'Lena, you should be thrilled I'm offering." I was beyond pissed off.
"What life? WHAT LIFE?!" I angrily scrambled out of bed and started throwing clothes on in a rush. He wasn't allowed to see me naked right now because I was far too livid to allow even that level of vulnerability in his presence. "It's MY life, Stefan! MINE! I've worked my ass off for the modest, 'shitty' life that I have, which, I know, is hard for a spoiled fucking trust fund brat like you to understand, but I'm actually proud of myself for what I've done. So if you can't be, if you think my life is such shit that I should just throw it away for some boy, if you have NO respect for me at all, which you clearly don't, then I think you should get the FUCK out of my shitty apartment and my shitty life RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!" Stefan's jaw was twitching and I could see a vein on his forehead throbbing from across the room. Ooooh wow. This is gonna be a serious fight.
"SOME BOY?!" He shouted as he performed a reenactment of my earlier angry dressing. "Excuse me, El-e-na, after being together for over six months I have no idea what caused me to think that I was even slightly above 'some boy' status to you. Enjoy your shitty little life, Elena. Hey, maybe you can find my brother and the two of you can waste away in filth together! Sounds just... Peachy!" The sardonic grin he wore belied his cruel words.
"Don't you DARE bring that up!" I shouted, all vehemence and fury.
"Whatever. I'm leaving. See you later. Or never." With that, he stormed out of my apartment, slamming the door loudly on the way out.
Well, happy birthday to me.
Later that night I met Bonnie and Caroline at 'East End', a bar on MLK that always had good live music. As it turned out, the bouncer was a friend of mine who used to work at Jo's. "Ric!" I almost squealed when I saw him. I launched myself into his arms and he gave me one of his patented bear hugs.
"'Lena! Happy birthday! I didn't know you were coming here tonight!"
"Me neither," I said as he released me from his crushing grasp. "Last minute decision. This girl needs to get her drink on. You remember Bon and Care?" He nodded and smiled at the two of them. "I didn't know you were working here. As a bouncer, no less!" He was the cook at Jo's, but he got tired of the long hours and shitty pay and quit a few months ago. "But I guess you fit the profile," I laughed. Ric was massive. Six feet of pure muscle, he would be intimidating if it wasn't for his face, which was the kindest face I had ever seen. People immediately liked him when they met him. His sandy brown hair and hazel eyes accentuated that face, making him quite a hit with the ladies but, much to the chagrin of said ladies, Ric was strictly a one woman guy. I wondered if he was seeing anyone now. His last one had done quite a number on him. "Who's playing tonight?" I asked, to change the subject of my own thoughts.
"Death Metal band. They're called 'Hemingway'. The singer is actually a buddy of mine. They're fuckin' awesome and right up your alley. Their shows are always packed, so get your drinks early. It'll be hard once they go on," Ric warned.
"Hemingway? That's an... Odd name for a metal band."
"Yeah, you're not kidding" he laughed. "Don't worry about cover, birthday girl," he said, as I tried to pass him some cash. "You girls are on me, but just do me a favor and behave. I don't wanna get in trouble for letting you in, k?" Ric was one of the few people who knew my actual age.
"You got it. Thanks!" I hugged him again. "See you after maybe?"
"Maybe," he replied with a wink.
Once we were in we grabbed our drinks and sat at one of the few tables in the back. Most of the floor space was cleared out to make way for the inevitable moshing that accompanied a metal show. Caroline was gabbing about some inane high school gossip that I was pretending to listen to as I distractedly picked at the label on my beer. I just wanted the show to start already so I could lose myself in the music. After the abhorrent morning I had, I really needed to unwind in the pit. Getting into a violent mosh pit was like opening a soda can for me. All the pressure of my day to day existence was released and I could just be. Just feel. Sure, I got knocked down a bunch, due to my small stature in a sea of beastly men and, sure, I was usually covered in bruises the next day but, damn, did it ever feel freeing. I loved the anarchy, the pain, the power of the throng.
"Are you gonna let us in on your secret 'Len?" Bonnie's voice pulled me from my thoughts. "You're oddly quiet." I sighed, noticing two expectant faces that I knew would see right through me if I tried to say it was nothing. I recounted the events of the morning, this time going into full detail. It had been weighing heavily on my mind. I was starting to think Stefan was right; I didn't really have much going for me here. I did work a shitty job and I did live in a shitty apartment and I did have a shitty family. But I had my friends and I would miss them. Then again, was I ready to give up on the man I loved to hold onto my shitty life and my two friends, who I could call whenever I wanted and visit occasionally? Did I love him that much? I wasn't even so sure. Even though things had 'gone back to normal' after the night-that-shall-not-be-named, there was still a difference in our relationship. I was more withdrawn from him and he had lost some of his warmth. It was all so confusing. I didn't know what to do.
"Not that you asked for an opinion," Bonnie began, after I rehashed our fight and my thoughts about the possible move; "but I think you should do it." What? I expected that from Caroline, the hopeless romantic, who would do anything for love, but not from Bonnie, the thoughtful pragmatist. "Think about it like this," she continued. "It's an experience. Worse comes to worst, just come home. No big deal. Stefan's right that there's not really anything tying you to this place. So, why not? You thrive on experience, so go. Go thrive. We'll still be here," she gestured between herself and Caroline, who was grinning and nodding her head.
"I fucking love you guys," I muttered, shaking my head in amazement.
"Aww, we love you too! And we'll miss you like crazy, but you can visit any time!" Caroline shouted. They both launched themselves at me and we giggled through a giddy group hug.
"I haven't made up my mind yet," I sat back down in my seat; "but it means a lot that I have your support. Fuck, I just kinda sounded like a politician." We all laughed.
Just then the music started. I hadn't even noticed the band taking the stage or introducing themselves but, now that I thought about it, I had noticed that I had to shout my last few sentences. When I turned my head to the stage I saw what you could call a typical metal band. All four of them decked out in black, head to toe, with a few spikes here and there. Pretty normal. What got the blood rushing to my face was the singer. Damon Salvatore. I knew he was in a band but I never bothered to ask what they were called, or even what genre they played. Fuck me, he looks good with a guitar. I found myself smiling a secret smile that Caroline caught before I wiped it from my face. I shrugged at her quirked eyebrow and mouthed, 'they're awesome'.
They were good, too. Their music was heavy but melodic, with interesting rhythms that were truly unique, occasionally breaking down into light, airy riffs and then picking up again. I was definitely impressed and, though I'm loath to admit it, fangirl-ing a little. I can't believe I know the singer!
Devil cracked the earthly shell
Foretold she was the one
Blew hope into the room and said:
You have to live before you die young
Damon's powerful voice had me covered in goosebumps. He switched from a guttural growl to a soothingly sweet crooning seamlessly, effortlessly. I glanced over at my friends. Bonnie was watching with thinly veiled disinterest (she hated these shows but came along anyway- probably due to the fact that it was my birthday) and Caroline was practically drooling, her mouth hanging open like a stroke victim. "That singer is fucking HOT!" She yelled over the music.
"Yeah... Guys, that's Damon." I gestured towards stage with my head.
"WHAT?!" They both shouted.
"Like, Stefan's douchebag brother, Damon?" Caroline screeched.
"He's not a douchebag," I reasoned.
"WHAT?" Bonnie asked.
"Never mind," I replied, louder this time. It was no use trying to communicate verbally.
In time the hissing of her sanity
Faded out her voice and soiled her name
And like marked pages in a diary
Everything seemed clean that was unstained
The incoherent talk of ordinary days
Why would we really need to live?
Decide what is clear and what's within a haze
What you should take and what to give
I couldn't get over how good Damon's band was. Hemingway, I thought. Huh. I wondered how much that band name had to do with Damon's whole 'I'm a misogynist jerk' routine. When the song ended and Damon addressed the crowd I was just wondering whether or not he had noticed me when his eyes landed on mine and my question was answered; he did now. He cut off his sentence with a "Holy shit. Just a sec, guys", before turning around a shoving his guitar in the bassists hands and then launching himself off stage, much to the confusion of his bandmates (and the fans). He pushed his way through the crowd until he got to me, wrapped me up in his arms and lifted me in a twirling hug, whispering "Happy birthday" in my ear. When he set me down again I was giggling like a school girl.
"How did you know it was-"
"It's on your Facebook, silly girl!" He said, tapping my nose affectionately with his index finger. "Anyway, I've got a show to do. Don't go anywhere! I'll come find you after." I nodded with a grin and he climbed back on stage to resume the set.
Before they got going again he whispered something to his band mates and then came back on the mic, announcing, "Tonight, we're gonna switch it up a little bit. There's a song I wanna add to the set list that goes out to a good friend of mine on her birthday." He winked at me. To my shock and delight, Damon started plucking out the opening riff of 'Heart Shaped Box'. He remembers our song.
"Wooo!" I shouted through giggles, pumping my fist in the air. Wait. Our song? What the fuck, Elena? Caroline was staring at me, mouth agape, and Bonnie was glaring daggers at Damon. Bonnie's glare wasn't the only one taking place in that bar at that moment. I noticed several sets of female eyes latched onto me, all green and murderous. I didn't care. I was riding high on alcohol, music and the joy of seeing Damon again.
It was weird, in a way. We hadn't seen each other since the night-that-shall-not-be-named, but it felt like no time had passed. When he hugged me it felt like hugging my best friend in the world. He was my confidant, my compadre, my comrade, to hell with what other people said about him. Once the Nirvana cover was over, they switched to a heavier one of their own and I decided it was high time for some moshing and threw myself into the pit. I thrashed about in my violence induced bliss until, between songs, they paused to fix a mic problem and I decided to rejoin my friends. "We're gonna go," Bonnie announced cooly.
"What? No! You hafta stay!" I protested.
"I'm really tired, 'Len, and you know this isn't Bonnie's scene," Caroline reasoned. "You coming with?"
"No, I wanna wait and hang out with Ric for a few."
"Also gives you the opportunity to hang out with your 'good friend' Damon," Bonnie spat, using air quotes.
"Bon..."
"It's ok Elena. Happy birthday and I love you. But don't think I won't be demanding an explanation later."
"I haven't even seen him since-"
"Elena, it's fine, really," Caroline soothed, shooting a sharp look at Bonnie. "We'll talk tomorrow, k?" I nodded and watched as my two best friends walked out the door, bewildered as to what had got Bonnie in such a snit.
The show was over and the night was winding down as the crowd in the bar started thinning. Ric was leaning on the back wall, opposite the stage, bourbon in hand and I was standing in front of him with a double bourbon of my own, thanks to him. He was telling me all about the woman he had just started seeing and I couldn't help the goofy smile on my face at how happy he sounded. He deserved it, more than anyone I knew. Suddenly I noticed Ric squinting at something behind me but, before I could turn around to look, I felt strong arms wrap around me from behind in an embrace that almost knocked the wind out of me.
"You're too small to be in a mosh pit," came a smooth voice from my shoulder. "I almost stopped playing a few times to drag you outa there."
"Damon, you guys were fucking outstanding!" I shouted when I turned around to see his beaming face. The twinkle in his beautiful blue eyes was hypnotic. "Plus, no broken bones, see? All good."
"You were a fucking beast in there. I've never seen a girl handle herself like that in the pit. You gave as good as you got, killer," he said with a half smile, lightly punching me in the shoulder. "But, yeah. That was a good show. Best part? There was a label exec here tonight. He offered us a deal. We're getting signed! We have a contract meeting tomorrow!"
"Holy shit, that's amazing!" I exclaimed before launching myself back into his arms. He lifted me up and we both laughed ecstatically. "I'm so incredibly fucking happy for you!" I gushed when he let me go. "And kinda jealous. You're gonna be famous!"
"We play death metal, Gilbert, not top forty. We won't exactly be a household name."
"Still!" I squealed, no longer able to resist jumping up and down in excitement. A not-so-subtle throat clearing reminded me of the friend I was currently neglecting.
"That's sick, D. So, you two know each other then?" Ric asked.
"Yeah, she's dating my brother." A look of recognition passed over Ric's face and he rolled his eyes a little, as if to suggest he should've figured it out sooner.
"Stefan, of course! Not sure why I didn't put two and two together until just now. Small world. Elena and I used to work together at Jo's." Damon nodded and I looked at the floor. The mention of Stefan had killed my mood, momentarily. I had decided just a few hours ago that I was going to follow him across the country and I was more than a little hesitant about it. There was this part of me that was screaming that it was a bad idea but I ignored it because, logically, there was no reason why I shouldn't. Right?
I quickly shoved all thoughts of Stefan aside so I could celebrate with my friends. Damon, Ric and I drank and joked until the wee hours of the morning. Damon was the first to leave and I was close behind him, gathering my purse and hoodie, when Ric announced, "He's different with you."
"Pardon?"
"He's... Not such a dick," he laughed, a little uncomfortably.
"Yeah," I chuckled along with him; "we kinda bonded over some tequila shots a while ago. We just... get each other, you know? He's really good shit, once he lets you in."
"Don't I know it," Ric mumbled as he gave me another bear hug and kissed the side of my head. "Bye 'Lena. Happy birthday."
"Thanks! Bye Ric!" I waved as I left to catch a cab.
As I walked in my door I couldn't help but think that, despite the rough start, this had turned into one of the best birthdays ever. Tomorrow I would sort things out with Stefan. My heart launched into my throat when I flicked on the lights and saw the aforementioned Salvatore sitting on my bed, back against the wall, legs crossed at the ankles, hands clasped in his lap, looking cool as a cucumber. Cool as a cucumber in January, that is. Fucking frigid.
"So, how is my brother?" he asked.
Bastard son of Yahweh, why does this keep happening?
A/N The song used was 'Ghost of Perdition' by Opeth. If you're into metal you should look it up. Hell, even if you're not, check them out. They're amazing.
*edit* Funny story, right after posting this chapter I wondered if there was actually a band called Hemingway. Turns out there is, and the kicker? They're based in Portland.
