A/N: This is the second part of the Landfill Guardian arc. I apologize for the delay. Work caught up with me. The story picks up where the last chapter left off: Our heroes making a journey up Mount Trashmore.
8/7/22: I'd like to thank my beta reader, TheWangY for the constructive criticism. With it, I improved this chapter greatly.
Wheels rumbled while the motor whined as the golf cart bounced its way up the narrow, steep, mountain road.
The scenery changed, as they approached the summit.
The soft muddy pavement gave way to hard dry loose cinders.
While, partially exposed garbage bags that previously dotted the landscape, now disappeared under a thick layer of fine red ash.
After over an hour of driving, they reached the top. There the road ended at the foot of a small circular plateau.
With clouds of dust and squealing tires, the speeding golf cart ground to a halt.
"End of the Line Folks! Everybody Off!" shouted Mordecai at his now daydreaming companion as he turned off the engine and removed the key.
Mordecai and Rigby stepped out of the cart to gaze upon the horror that lay before them. "Whoa!" they said in unison, mouths agape.
The setting sun cast a harsh orange glow on the bleak surroundings while a black blot circled eerily overhead.
The plateau's center was barren, save for a single tin can and swirling dust clouds. Along the periphery, in mangled heaps lay the burnt and twisted bodies of the brave (or were they foolish?) warriors who met their end on the slopes of Mount Trashmore.
Rigby gulped as he thought how he, too, may suffer the same wretched fate. "All for some goddamn stupid cell phone," he said before Mordecai cut him off with a jab to his elbow."
"Eyes forward, Rigby! Someone, or shall I say something, approaches!"
Just then, the black blot rapidly grew in size and assumed the form of a giant black dragon as it descended from the sky.
With a shrieking cry and a blast of wind from its flapping wings, the beast landed about 20 feet in front of our heroes.
Shiny scales that ooze a curious garbage-smelling brown fluid covered its grotesque body. Loose plates of scrap metal formed a protective armor around its soft belly, and sinewy electric cables protected its skinny arms. Yellow crocodilian eyes darted back and forth. Sharp yet stained and pitted teeth ringed its hungry mouth that curled into a menacing grin that emitted a foul stench of decay with each heavy humid breath.
The 20 ft beast towered over the heroes who did their best to contain their fear.
"Rigby, I'll attempt to reason with the monster and get my phone. You cover my rear!"
Rigby fell back and hid behind a stack of burnt corpses as Mordecai stepped forward to meet the dragon.
"Behold! I am the Landfill Guardian, Protector of this Domain."
"What foolish knaves dare trespass upon my realm?"
"'Tis I, Sir Mordecai of Quintel!" shouted the bluejay.
"I have come to reclaim my stolen property— my cellphone."
"Fool, Dost thou not know!? That which enters my realm is lost forever."
Mordecai replied unfazed, "Dragon, your powers may be great but are no match for True Love. Prepare to fight!"
"Very well. Enjoy your death!" countered the dragon, almost half-interested in Mordecai's show of bravado.
A fireball formed in the back of the dragon's throat. Sensing what would happen next, Mordecai raised his makeshift shield (a trash can lid) to protect his face.
The shield worked, and the flames deflected, but the lid was heating up and started to glow a dull red. "RIGBY! NOW!" shouted Mordecai.
Rigby adjusted his makeshift armor, gripped his makeshift sword, and put on his best "game face" to hide his fear, clenching his teeth and furrowing his brows.
Taking a wide route, he ran unseen, along the monster's rear flank.
Unsheathing the broken lawnmower blade that was his sword, he plunged it into the beast's tail.
Seeing this, Mordecai dropped the shield to let it cool. Meanwhile, the beast shrieked in pain, shouting, "Who dares interrupt me when I am roasting my next meal!"
"Looks like I got your attention!"
The dragon peered down at a raccoon wearing a trashcan and dryer ducts as a suit of armor.
"Stupid raccoon, go back down and play in the garbage like the rest of your lot," leered the dragon in disgust.
"Can't do that! This stupid raccoon is that [pointing at Mordecai] even stupider bluejay's best friend!"
"Hey, I heard that!" said Mordecai pinned under the dragon's hand.
"So tell me, Landfill Loser," said Rigby mockingly as he accented the syllables in "Loser."
"The knight at the gate told me that we are allowed to offer you an even exchange for one of your items."
"Well, I'd like to offer you my cell phone!"
"Don't do it, Rigby! This is my problem, not yours!" shouted Mordecai.
"Relax, Mordo; it's free with a 2-year agreement," said Rigby with confidence.
"And it includes unlimited text, talk, and web on America's largest 3G network," continued Rigby, mimicking the voice from the TV commercial.
"Excellent! Ringtail, show me your device! So, I might compare to what I have now and decide whether your pitiful lives are worth sparing."
"Not so fast, Shitbreath! Let my friend go first!"
"Fair enough!" The dragon begrudgingly released Mordecai from his grasp. Mordecai shook off the dirt and soot and walked up to Rigby.
"Thanks, Rigby! You didn't have to do..."
"Stop Talking! Mordo, Do you want your phone back or not? If you do, then shut up and let me do the talking."
"Sorry, Rigs."
The dragon grew impatient with the heroes' banter.
Why would Rigby hold a side conversation with Mordecai at this moment? Were they plotting trickery against him?
"Ringtail! I released your friend as you asked. NOW SHOW ME THE DEVICE!" boomed the dragon.
"Not so fast! Sure you let Mordecai go, but you haven't returned his cell phone."
"Why, you insolent trickster..."
"SHUT UP, DRAGON! How do I know that you aren't tricking me? How do I know you'll give me his phone and not steal both of our devices."
"A valid point," begrudged the dragon.
The dragon reached under his plate armor to produce Mordecai's damaged cell phone (cracked screen and all) and handed it over to Rigby.
"As ye wish, raccoon..."
Simultaneously, Rigby produced his own phone and handed it to the dragon.
"As ye wish, lizard."
Thus, with little fanfare, the exchange was made.
The dragon inspected his new device. He turned it on and called the knight at the gate to verify it would work.
He wanted to make his test call with the heroes present. If the phone proved defective, he would not need to travel far to kill them.
"Hello, Knight? It's LG..."
"Yes, uh huh. Want to grab a beer after you shut the gate lock up?"
"Cool, Got it! See you soon..."
The test call was a success. Satisfied with his new toy, The Landfill Guardian flew away, leaving the heroes alone upon the summit of Mount Trashmore.
Mordecai looked towards the orange sky, watching the dragon disappear into the setting Sun.
With his phone back in his hand, and the menacing dragon no longer a threat, Mordecai breathed a sigh of relief.
"Whelp! It's getting late. We got what we came for. Now, it's time to head back," he said, anxious to return home before nightfall.
"Not yet, Mordo!" replied Rigby, thrusting Mordecai's phone into the bluejay's chest.
"I believe you have a call to make."
"Oh yeah! Almost forgot," said Mordecai, with a chuckle as he dialed Margaret's number. "Funny, I can get reception up here. Four bars even!" he muttered, admiring the excellent signal strength while the phone rang.
Suds Zone Laundromat.
Margaret was busy folding her weekly laundry when a fainting ringing sound interrupted her work.
As her phone was buried in her purse, she dumped its contents (keys, cigarettes, gum, wallet, old receipts) in a heap on the laundry table beside the folded clothes.
Standing atop the pile, was her phone, ringing and displaying the name of a caller whom she knew well.
With a flourish and a smile, Margaret picked up the phone and answered "Hello?"
"Hey Margaret, it's Mordecai!"
"Uh! Hi Mordecai!" A slight uncertainty crept into her mind, she knew why he was calling, but she was not sure how he felt.
On one hand, he would be thrilled that she will be attending the Gala as his date. However, on the other hand, he may be annoyed with her. She promised him a couple of days turnaround on her response, yet more than a week elapsed.
"I hear that you were able to get the leave. That's awesome!"
"Heheheh. I guess Rigby told you about my text message," she giggled in relief.
"Yup! Anyways, I look forward to seeing you at the Gala."
"Likewise," she smiled.
"Listen, I'm sorry I couldn't get back to you sooner. I lost my phone."
"Well, could've been worse; I thought for a second you got mad and were avoiding me or something."
"Me what? Never. I just didn't have my phone on me."
"You sure? I mean, it did take a while to hear from my boss." Margaret asked inquisitively. She knew Mordecai long enough to discover his cool exterior hid a sensitive nature. She was right. Mordecai did feel hurt by the delays. But hearing her say "yes" negated any prior concerns.
"Nah!" he said, confidently.
"Anyways, since you are calling me from your number and not a co-worker's, I'll take it you found your phone."
"Correct!"
"And you wouldn't believe where..."
A/N: I hope you liked it. I need at least one surreal adventure thrown in there, or else it wouldn't be a proper Regular Show episode. I also wanted to showcase Rigby in more of a leadership role, highlighting his progression into a responsible adult by the end of the actual series. In case you're wondering, Mount Trashmore is an actual place (it's located in Virginia Beach).
