Chapter 44: Emotional Damage

Marie was standing at the bridge looking down at the base of the waterfall. She seemed to be solemnly reminiscing.

"Anyone who falls down here is a goner anyway" She muttered to herself, "You could never find their clothes since it's too dangerous to go down there…"

"She's not thinking what I think she is, is she?" Callie's eyes widened.

"... It's still really pretty." She looked back up at the waterfall.

Callie took a step toward her cousin.

"It was always so nice here… the sound of only the water and the peaceful scenery… I wonder if it's changed since I left."

Adstrum took Monty from Callie.

"I guess I have… Heh, I was so stupid… I wonder what would have happened if I never became an Idol. If I just said 'no' that day to that concert… Maybe I would have friends and a normal job… serving customers at a cafe or restaurant. Surely, less lonely than I am now."

Callie kept walking toward her cousin, sighing quietly at what she was hearing.

"Ha, funny 'someone who has it all' wanting to trade it to be normal for a change. I must sound crazy. Maybe I am. I don't expect anyone to really understand me anyways. Not mom, not dad, not gramps, and not even Callie. Especially not her."

'I understand you, Marie.' Callie thought to herself.

"She has it all. I have next to nothing compared to her. Not many friends, no relationship, not even a day where I don't have to worry about performing for a crowd. I can only wonder what it's like, and whether I'll ever get a lick of it. Probably not in my lifetime. I'm already a fully grown squid, I haven't a clue how much time I have before I'm a hag…"

'You're only about 20 years old… You have plenty of time.' Adstrum thought with an eyebrow raised.

"Then again. Maybe I can be like Nana. I can be an old hag fish that bakes cookies for the orphanage," Marie chuckled to herself, "That's not funny…"

'Is this what Marie thinks of herself?' Callie thought.

"I'm here surrounded by family and yet I feel so empty. I should feel at least some joy, but I feel like it's missing along with the rest of my feelings. Maybe I have gone emotionally numb… That isn't a bad thing, I think. Helps me fake that smile I have to put on everyday, to show everyone I'm okay. Wow, I sound like a sociopath… Well, that sounds about right."

Callie was unsure of what to do as she rubbed her arm, a sad look on her face.

"I lost who I was a long time ago. I am just a shell. A husk trying to blend in. Life sure is a bitch. Kicks you right up the ass. I hate my life ..."

"Marie…" Callie finally spoke up.

"C-Callie?" Marie wiped her face and turned around, "What are you doing out here?"

"Walking home with Addie and Monty. And hearing your thoughts…" Callie had a concerned look on her face.

"...Sorry… don't be upset…" Marie seemed more concerned about Callie's reaction.

"Is that how you really feel?"

"You heard it…. So I guess I should just be honest… yes." She sighed, "Can you really blame me?"

"No…" Callie rubbed her arm.

"You have everything. I am happy for you. Friends, a loving partner, and happiness. I have only a facade I put on for people."

"Yeah...but...I…" Callie was having a hard time thinking of what to say.

"You have everything! Everything I can only dream to have. I had enough of this, I feel so empty inside. I'm sick of it all. No matter how much I say am happy… I can't help but feeling like I'm lying to myself."

"I want to help you." Callie replied.

"You can only make me more jealous. You have Adstrum, Clair, Annabelle, Jack, Cici, and many many more people. You are loved!"

"But you are friends with Jack and Cici too. And the people I know would love to be friends with you."

"What time do I get to do that? I spend my time and effort for my pointless idol career."

"When this tour is over we will have a long time off. You can do what you want."

"I wanna go away. I want to have an empty slate, if I can't remember anything even better. I hate my life where it is today. I don't wanna hurt anymore!"

"I don't want you hurting either, Marie." Callie started tearing up a bit. "I want you to be happy."

"I'm tired of living in fear that I have to be happy for you, so you don't leave. So now I just wish I can leave and be freed."

"I'm so sorry…" Callie hugged her, "You don't have to be in fear… I won't leave… I promise."

"..." Marie slowly hugged her back.

"Everything will get better… I promise."

"..."

"It's pretty late, huh? Let's get back home" Callie wiped Marie's face and then her own face, "I love you Marie."

"...I love… you too." Marie replied as Callie led her back home.

Adstrum followed behind them with Monty.

"Say, do you wanna work on that new song again?" Callie asked.

"I guess that sounds nice" Marie was calming down from her outburst earlier.

"Okay." Callie gave her cousin a small smile.

Marie gave her a small smile back.


As they arrived back at home Adstrum took Monty into the kitchen to get him a snack while Marie sat down in the living room, with Callie quickly running upstairs before coming back down with their songbooks.

Marie was spacing out a bit, watching at Monty nibble on some crackers.

"So...where were we?" Callie opened up her book and handed Marie her's.

"Oh, we wanted it to have a uniting feel… We couldn't really find the word for it" Marie took her notebook and slid out her pencil.

"Yeah! Yeah! Something like that." Callie nodded.

Adstrum walked in with a glass of water and a plate of tuna nuggets. "You guys hungry?"

"Not really. Thanks, though" Marie replied.

"I'll have some." Callie grabbed a few and shoved them into her mouth.

Monty watched them write and talk.

"Want any, Monty?" Adstrum offered.

"Okay" He walked over and sat by him.

"Bese are ery ood." Callie said with a smile.

Marie handed her a napkin.

"Don't talk with your mouth full, Callie." Adstrum chuckled and tossed a nugget into his mouth.

Monty put a nugget into a vase.

"Huh?" A magenta octopus climbed out with a nugget on her mantle.

"Aw, ute!" Callie swallowed the food in her mouth. "Cute!"

"Uh, Ari...You got something right here." Adstrum pointed to the top of his head.

"Oh?" Arisara took the nugget off her and nibbled it, "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Callie wrote down something and showed it to Marie. "How's this look?"

"Huh? Isn't that our singles?"

"Yeah. Thought we could mix them into the song."

"Why?"

Callie shrugged. "Just...thought it would be nice."

"Oh, I see. I guess that could work."

"Maybe I could sing the start of my single and you finish it? And then vice versa?"

"Sure. Let's do that" Marie noted it down.

Callie smiled again and made a note as well.

"Hm. Is this how all of your songs were written? By you two?" Adstrum asked.

"You could say that. Except we were usually… much happier" Marie muttered that last part.

Callie rubbed her arm.

"Hm?" Arisara raised her brow.

"Don't worry about it" Marie patted the octopus, who kinda sunk a bit into her vase.

'I'll let her know later.' Adstrum thought to himself.

"Hey, Marie. How does this sound?" Callie sang a bit of something she wrote.

"Oh, maybe we should tweak this a bit…" Marie took Callie's notebook and scribbled something down, "Here, try this."

Callie sang the fixed notes. "Hm, that sounds much better." She nodded.

Monty pulled Arisara out and petted her. She seemed happy. Marie sang her parts and fixed it when it sounded off.

Adstrum smiled at the two before noticing some movement on the stairs. He looked and saw Melody, Sonata, Harvey, and Riley watching their daughters with a smile.

Arisara saw them and slowly wave at them.

Monty smiled and rolled his eyes when he saw them recording with their phones.

"Um…" Callie wrote down a few more things and showed it to Marie. "How does this sound?" She sang it.

"Wow, it sounds really good."

"Thanks." She smiled widely.

Marie smiled. It seemed warmer than her usual smile.

"Well, I'm going to go to bed." Adstrum stood up and placed the nearly empty plate of nuggets down. "See you two in the morning." He headed toward the stairs. "By the way, you have an audience."

Monty fell asleep cuddling Arisara.

"Um...how long have you been standing there?" Callie asked her parents, aunt, and uncle.

"Oh, when you two started singing… We couldn't help it and came down" Melody widely grinned.

"You two still have wonderful singing voices." Harvey smiled.

"You just couldn't help yourselves, huh?" Marie pointed at their phones.

"No. We couldn't. We saw you two writing and singing and we just had to." Riley grinned. "It's just like when you were preparing for the Youth Folk Singing Contest."

"Just remember, no posting until we release it."

"Okay. We won't." Harvey nodded.

"Oh Monty… Let me just get him to bed" Melody walked over and picked up the sleepy squid.

"Sleepy Monty." Callie patted his head. "Good night, buddy."

"Hehe, he won't let go of Arisara..."

"Looks like I'm stuck" Arisara smiled, "That's okay. I don't mind."

"Have fun, Ari." Callie patted her mantle.

"Good night." Melody put them to bed.

"Good night, Mom." Callie smiled. "Good night, Dad. Good night, Aunt Sonata. Good night, Uncle Riley."

The two continued on into the night, working on their newest song until exhaustion overcame the both of them and they eventually fell asleep.

Author's Note: Two weeks plus two days it took me to get this chapter to you guys. Stupid procrastination.

Thank you The Bowser Monster, SpikedFruitPunch, Devil Dude 42, Lilikeith, and Agent 8 for leaving reviews. I greatly appreciate them guys.

I'm not a big fan of cliffhangers myself, Devil Dude, but Apikachua likes including them.

I hope you all enjoy this chapter and I will see you all again in, at most, two weeks! Hope you all have a great time until then! See ya!