The Chaldea party's misadventures continue even further in the misty city of Britannia.
Still, despite the gloomy world around them, Ritsuka is able to find solace in spending time with his Servants as they rest from battling Solomon's forces.
I'm back once more and wow, was this one a toughie to write for me.
I heavily blame FGO, Arknights, P5R, and FE: Three Houses for being my gatekeepers to writing this chapter ~
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"This is definitely Jack's handiwork, it's unmistakably her technique." I said this as we settled back in the house to rest and plan our next course of action. We had been currently wracking our minds on forming a plan to deal with Solomon's pawns in this singularity.
Safe to say, all of us were quite fatigued from today's activities.
Most of my Servants and I were sprawled about in our base of operations. Nero, Mordred, and J'Alter were currently sharing the sole couch of the living room, while Edmond, Artoria, Mash, and I stayed around in seats as we took in our respite.
"True, the Servant we fought just now does share similarities to our little Assassin. Still, that makes her one of our most dangerous enemies here." Edmond paused for a bit to put out his cigarette on a nearby ashtray, "It doesn't help either that Londinium is misty with this accursed fog all over, so she can freely kill us off any time she wishes."
L'Artoria looked pensively at her cup of tea, "Either way, it's going to be quite difficult to deal with the Caster when Jack watches by."
I walk over to Mash who appears to have been attempting to phone in our support from Chaldea. The lilac Shielder only grew more and more anxious the more she tried contacting them to no avail.
Ah well, I have been wondering why Romani was too silent this time around.
"Any luck, Mash?" I asked as I sat down next to her.
She shook her head in response, "Apologies, Senpai, but this mana-potent mist in the whole Singularity has caused there to be issues in even attempting to get signals from anywhere."
Soon enough, Dr. Jekyll came into the room with a rolled up parchment in his hand. Other than that, he carried fountain pens and other equipment with him. The doctor laid these objects upon a well lit table.
"Master Fujimaru, could I have a moment of your time? You as well, Sir Dantes."
The well dressed Avenger and I walked over to the good doctor's table and saw a map with neatly marked locations and notes on it. It took me a moment or two to realize that this was a map of our immediate surroundings in Londinium. Upon even closer inspection, I realized the map was entirely done by hand.
"As you two fellows can see here, we were able to scout around our area and form a map before you whole lot came over here." Jekyll pointed at the marked locations on the map, "The locations I've marked here are places with rather powerful mana signatures coming from within them, so I would kindly suggest that we survey these areas and check these mana signatures out and see where our enemies would be lying about."
Dantes decided to throw his own two pences in, "I just noticed it, but the rest of the map seems quite incomplete, does it not? I scanned over the whole thing and I couldn't help but notice that there are red dotted lines marked on some parts of the map's edges."
The doctor sighed and pushed up his glasses, "The thing is, those areas have the heaviest concentration of mana-infused mist. It pretty much just means that we'd suffocate horribly even if it's just taking one step within them."
"Still, as far as we've observed, none of the Helter Skelters or Automata Dolls come from there or even go past that area. Thus, it would imply that our enemy should just be within the boundaries of the map here."
Looking upon the map once more, I found that Soho had been marked with a question mark.
"Say, Doc, why's this place marked like this?" I said as I pointed at the location in question.
The doctor looked over the landmark which caught my interest, "Ah, Soho? From what Fran reported to us, there were sightings of a rather peculiar book." Jekyll got a small notebook from within his vest pocket and flipped through some pages, "I do suppose we could look into it, hm? After all, we might just find a lead to that Caster fellow or even Jack for that matter."
As much as I wanted to hunt these bastards down, I haven't been able to have some proper rest and sleep ever since we got here. I looked over my Servants and realized that they shared my sentiments as well.
"Well, I think it's best that we leave that for tomorrow, doc. I think we've earned ourselves some downtime from today."
Dantes nodded in affirmation, "I suppose that would be the best course of action for now, Master. I am quite beat up myself, anyways."
Soon enough, my Servants and I drew lots to see which room we'd get to ourselves. Still, for the house's size, there were more than enough rooms to fit all of us. Suffice to say, the female Servants would be bunking together while us males would do so as well, but…
"Master! You want a bottle of Conk or Sparite?"
For the oddest reasons, I got bunked with the ever lively Mordred. The knight in question decided to bring us soft drinks to refresh ourselves as we settled in for the evening.
I rubbed my chin in thought, "An ice cold Sparite, Momo ~"
As I turned to receive my drink, my ice cold refreshment was sent hurtling towards my face. Okay, maybe I half expected that, but how the fuck is this thing still in one piece?
"Oi! Don't go calling me weird names, Master!" The annoyed knight popped open her drink's bottle cap using the tip of Clarent.
POP! went the refreshingly fizzy beverage.
As I rubbed my nose in pain, I retrieved my oddly intact Sparite from my side. I gestured to Mordred to open my drink up as well.
Another loud pop resounded in our room as she easily opened up the drink for me and handed it to me afterwards.
Both of us took a nice healthy swig of our respective drinks and neither of us could help ripping out a loud burp. In some sense of childish glee, we couldn't help laughing out loud at our shit manners.
"Say, should you even be using it like that?"
"Hm? Oh, Clarent?" The spiky blonde looked over her blade, "Eh, it shouldn't be a big deal either way. My blade, my rules anyways ~"
The room we got had windows that peered at the misty night outside us. Strangely enough, the moon tonight in Londinium was glowing in a baleful shade of scarlet, so the rogue knight and I decided to sit by the bed and look at the moon.
At this point in time, we'd already gone through half of our six packs of soda as I decided to tell Mordred some stories from previous Singularities and Chaldea.
"I still can't believe Chaldea me has gotten that soft. Heh, I wouldn't mind a good duel with her to see how different the two of us are…" As she mirthfully said this, she looked at the blood moon with a distant gaze.
"I'll bite though, what does the Chaldea me think of…y'know?" The knight's words caught up in her throat as she struggled to form the whole sentence. Still, I have a good idea that I know what she wants to hear…
"Aside from what I told you earlier? She barely approaches any of the Artorias-"
"Wait, wait, wait." Mordred took a heavy swig of her Conk, " You're telling me there's more than one of Father in Chaldea?!"
I sipped my Sparite and nodded in response, "At this point, it's hard to just say Artoria without inviting the whole flock of them."
The rogue knight only shuddered in discomfort at the news.
"Not a single one of them? None of them have talked with me about anything?"
I suppose I did mention that Chaldea Mordred was more outgoing and happier these days, but that's only because she learned to adjust to the Artoria Servants being around.
"Yeah."
Mordred only smiled melancholically at that.
"Even if there were different versions of her there, none of them seemed to even give me the time of day…" She looked at me with a fragile gaze, "I suppose you know what I really wanted from Father, hm? At this point, that other me should've trusted you enough to bring it up."
I nodded once more as a response. I was honestly at a lack of words on how to go about comforting this Mordred, since I was more of a listener rather than one who gives advice.
"Acceptance, it's all any child would want from their parents, y'know? It's just a shame that I wasn't even born right into this world or even recognized by Father."
I gently squeezed Mordred's hand as to comfort her, "Say that all you want, Mordred. I want you to know I never regretted summoning you and I always enjoy having you around in Chaldea. That place would be a whole lot more dull without you being your loud self and fighting everyone there."
Mordred seemed to ease up as I told her this, and soon enough, a small smile appeared on her youthful visage.
"Heh, at least someone appreciates me being around." She squeezed my hand a tad bit more firmly, "I'm thankful that the other me is with you, Master."
She quickly stood up and set her bottles of Conk aside near her bed.
"It's getting quite late, so I'll go hit the hay now, yeah?"
"Go ahead, you punk. A tough as nails knight like you needs her shut eye, after all." I smirked goodnaturedly.
"Heh, fuck off, man!" She roughly patted my head and smiled, "Still, thanks for talking to me and giving a damn too."
I decided to stand up and take my empty Sparite bottles and Mordred's Conk bottles with me, so that I could throw them downstairs.
"Sleep well then, Momo ~" I said as I was about to leave the room.
All I saw behind me was the rogue knight flipping me off as she buried herself in a quilt.
That's classic Mordred alright.
I closed the door and saw myself in the house's second floor hallway. Honestly? The whole place at night screams old school murder mystery.
"Master?"
Surprised at the sudden voice, I whipped my head to my left and saw L'Artoria in a nightgown and cardigan. I had to remind myself to look at her face and make eye contact, since her choice of sleepwear seemed to make her endowments more shapely than usual.
"L'Artoria? What are you up to at this time of night?"
She shifted her eyes as I asked her.
"You see, I was supposed to go downstairs and brew myself some chamomile tea. I have been having trouble sleeping actually, but…"
Taking a closer look at L'Artoria, I saw guilt and shame in her eyes.
"You couldn't help but eavesdrop, huh?"
The busty blonde visibly winced as she heard those words from me.
"Say, wait, how'd you overhear us? Our rooms have privacy talismans to make sure none of us disturb the other."
"Master, you two left the door ajar actually."
"Eh?! That's my bad then, urgh." I had to double check that I closed the door this time and make sure that Mordred doesn't come running here outside.
"Master, I am…" L'Artoria's face conveyed confusion and sadness the more she looked at me, but she eventually gave in and sighed, "Apologies, but could I go downstairs with you to talk about this over some tea?"
"Yeah, sure. I was heading down either way actually," I held up the bottles for emphasis, "I was gonna throw these down in the kitchen trash."
Soon enough, we headed downstairs and sat down in the kitchen area. The king brewed her tea in silence and brought me a cup of it as well.
"You shouldn't be drinking too much of that Sparite, Master." She said this as she filled her cup and then my cup with hot chamomile. "It isn't that good for you, yes?"
She and I took gentle sips of our soothingly warm tea.
"Well, I wouldn't be drinking so much Sparite if you kept on brewing me tea like this." I took another sip, "It's been brewed quite well, L'Artoria. Your Majesty is even a king in tea brewing, heh."
The Lancer in question gave a gentle smile at the praise, "I am most flattered at such praise, Master." Her smile soon shifted into a more melancholic one as she took another sip of her tea.
"Praise…" She started off quietly as she pensively stared at her flowery tea.
"To think that my people praise me as the magnanimous once and future king of Britannia, yet…" L'Artoria seemed to be even more wistful as she took a deep breath and sighed, "...Yet I wasn't able to look after my knights at all. A sorry excuse of a king that can't even protect their most trusted in the kingdom."
"L'Artoria…"
"I could never look at Mordred as my child, honestly. A homunculus product of my blood and my accursed sister's..." The king could only stare at her cup of chamomile as she reflected on Mordred's words from earlier, "...That is perhaps why I turned away from her when she brought up her lineage with me and because of that, Camelot and I fell to its own wrathful throes. To think that my rejection of her wanting me to be her father is what twisted her adoration for me into seething hatred."
"You shouldn't regret your rule, L'Artoria." I sipped my now cool chamomile, "It's not that I'm telling you to not feel anything about your mistakes, but to instead look forward to the future."
L'Artoria still looked uneasy, "Master, I ended up neglecting a child nonetheless…" Her grip on the teacup was practically threatening to break the fine china, "A homunculi child that only wanted proper affection and guidance from a parent. They even paint Mordred as the wrathful knight that brought ruin to Camelot, not the neglected child she is."
I looked at L'Artoria and gave her a soft smile, "Don't be sorry, Your Majesty, but be better, no? As the holder of Camelot's will and its people, you shan't falter for the sun shan't go down on you as long as you live and reign."
The Lancer looked at me with a look of realization and soon enough, her gentle smile appeared once more.
"I suppose there is truth in your words, Master." She poured out the remnants of the tea in her cup and mine, "Still, it seems like you've been with that King of Conquerors and his advisor more lately, no? You seem to be getting even wiser as the days pass us in Chaldea and these Singularities."
I offered her a sheepish smile, "Ah, well, Iskandar himself is persistent on me playing games with him and Lord El-Melloi II, so I couldn't help but pick up some sayings from them."
L'Artoria softly laughed at that, "I see then, at least they seem to be more positive influence on you than I first thought." She then stood up to gather our empty cups and teapot to clean them up. Afterwards, we cleaned up the table together and set it for breakfast tomorrow.
Soon enough, Artoria thanked me for my time and decided to head up to rest for our next move against Solomon and his Servants. I decided to head up soon after I threw the empty bottles of soda in the bin.
However, I couldn't help but notice catching a certain mop of white hair that quickly hid behind a wall. As a few more moments passed, I heard hurried footsteps in the living room and something landing on one of the sofa cushions.
Admittedly curious, I walked over to the living room and found J'Alter 'sleeping' on the couch. I mean 'sleeping' very lightly, I could easily tell that she was fake sleeping as she made unrealistic snores and her eyes were shut a little too tightly.
I chuckled at saintess' antics and I was about to head out until my foot bumped into something quite soft on the floor. I looked to see a nearby quilt messily strewn about the surface of the room.
Checking that J'Alter was still 'sleeping', I made sure to gently drape the blanket over her body and fixed her pillow for her so that she'd at least be more comfy. I did end up feeling her body subtly jolt in surprise when she realized I came back to fix her sleeping space.
Before I left, I only heard a hushed whisper from the saintess.
"D-dipshit…"
"Heh, sleep well, J'Alter ~"
Afterwards, I headed up to my room and turned in for the night.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"Praetor, praetor ~"
"Yeah, yeah, what's up Nero?"
As the next day came upon us, I decided to group up with Nero, Mash, Mordred, and Dantes to seek out the mysterious tome in one of the mist-laden boroughs. L'Artoria, J'Alter, Jekyll and Fran decided to rush out to Scotland Yard's residence as a briefly written warning letter about an assassination attempt on him was found on the outside of our base's door. To this hour, none of us still had an idea about how the letter even got to us and who could've possibly tipped us some information like this. While we were already warned by that Caster, this letter even contained a brief estimate of the enemies that were around that area and a shortcut that provided the least conflict on the way there.
"You seem to be kinda spacing out, umu." Nero poked roughly at my cheeks, "Did you not sleep well last night?"
I glanced over to see Nero's concerned expression, "Ah, a bit. Mordred and I had a couple of drinks last night actually, must be the sugar that kept me restless."
Nero gasped upon hearing that and hurriedly walked over to Mordred, who was talking with Mash about some fighting techniques with her shield.
"Momo! Why didn't you invite me for drinks last night?! I haven't had a good drink or two in a while, umu…"
Soon enough, the two blonde Sabers were arguing over the soft drinks while Mash made sure to mediate between the two as the stable one within the trio.
"Heh, even in such a morbid looking England, we don't have a dull moment do we, Master?"
Dantes had walked over to my side after Nero left mine. Currently, he was chewing on some coffee candy that he brought over from Chaldea. Funnily, he only came across the thing there and he couldn't believe that people actually made his drink of choice into candy.
"We never do, Edmond. I hope it isn't too noisy, your broodiness?" I smirked in response.
"It's noise I've grown well too accustomed to in Chaldea, Master." He reached in his coat's inner pocket and presented me some taffy and caramel, "You want a caramel or taffy? Something tells me you need some sugar to keep you walking and sharp, considering that you've seriously been spacing out ever since we left."
"I was spacing out?" Edmond nodded in response.
"I'll take the caramel then ~" I got the caramel and popped the sweet and creamy morsel in my mouth. "Say, why do you have caramel and taffy? You usually don't get these for yourself, y'know?"
The Avenger scratched the back of his head, "Hm? Well, Fran was curious about trying the coffee candy I kept to myself, so I decided to humor her and give her a piece." Chuckling to himself, "It was an amusing sight to see her scrunch up her face at its bitterness, so she ended up getting some caramel and taffy to get rid of the taste after. She ended up giving me some as fair trade and saying that I should get better candy."
I couldn't help but laugh with Edmond at Fran's own innocent and sweet antics. "To think she's Frankenstein's monster, y'know? It's a pity that she gets labelled off that way despite her being so gentle."
Sighing, Edmond felt for the poor girl, "It is truly a pity, Master. It's a hellish thing how history and fiction can warp views on people of legend."
We soon arrived at a rather decrepit bookshop around the area of Soho. True enough, the place reeked of a rampant mana signature about.
The hastily chained and locked door of the bookshop seemed to even further sell this place as an abandoned hellhole. Sneaking a peek via the windows of the place, we didn't seem to visually find anything out of the ordinary.
Seeing that the heavily locked entrance was the only way in, I decided to shoot off the chains and locks. As soon as they were off the door, we quickly rushed in with our armaments in hand.
From the upper floor of the shop, we heard small footsteps trotting about the creaky wood. The figure that came down from the stairs was a little blue haired boy with glasses and light blue and gray formal wear. Oddly enough, he carried himself with a very mature stride and air as he held a sizable tome in hand.
"Woah, you lost here, kiddo?" I decided to stoop down and ask the boy.
"Kiddo!? Don't you dare talk down to me, you uncouth bastard!" He angrily responded in a voice way too deep and mature for his youthful appearance.
I take it back, this was just a pint sized man Servant.
"Right, my apologies…" I shrugged at the strangeness of such, "Still, what brings you here? Hm, I didn't catch your name actually."
He huffed angrily and scribbled some choice words in his book, "Caster. Caster Hans Christian Andersen, and you better not forget who the hell you're speaking to, magus!"
At this point, I honestly had half a mind to punt this little Servant all the way back upstairs.
"Hans Christian Andersen?! The fairy tale author?" Mash's nerd aura was practically switched on as she heard about his identity. "I just want you to know I absolutely love your stories, Sir Andersen!"
"Hoho, I have an avid reader amongst you rabble? Interesting, interesting!" The blue haired Caster smiled quite haughtily at such praise, "As much as I'd like you to fawn over me, dear fan, we have business to attend to."
Andersen looked back at me, "I suppose you seek that phantom tome lying about this humble shop?"
I nodded in response, "Yeah, we decided to hit this place up and see if there were any clues about Solomon and his lackeys within that book or something.
Andersen frowned slightly, "Hn. I'm quite afraid that book is too lively to be read, magus." He looked towards a chained up door with runes inscribed upon it, "While I am a Servant, I'm quite the fragile sort when it comes to providing people early funerals on the field. That is pretty much my reasoning for locking up and sealing up that dreaded book behind that door."
"Still, if you only came here for information, I have leads on where to check for such."
I held my chin in thought, "I suppose that comes at the price of taking care of that tome, Andersen?"
He smiled pridefully, "Heh! I'm glad you caught on quickly, magus! Very well then, will you choose to help me put that damned book to rest?"
Seeing no other choice, I nodded my approval of such.
"Splendid! Well, time to open up that door then, I suppose."
I readied my rifle and loaded it with a fresh mana cartridge, while my Servant party got their weapons out.
With a wave of his hands, the Caster author got rid of the multitude of chains and seals that bound the door.
We walked into the room and saw a rather familiar tome floating in the center. The design on the book clearly showed illustrations of Alice in Wonderland and cards of varying suits floated about with it.
"Say, say, isn't that Nursery Rhyme, praetor?" Nero walked beside me with her scarlet armament, "I have an idea then ~ !"
I didn't exactly like this uneasy pit in my stomach as she said that, "Nero, what are yo-"
The emperor decided to take a handful of caramel and taffy from Dantes and offer the book some of the candies.
"Alice ~ ! I got you some sweets! You can have them all if you just come with us nice and sweet, umu ~ !" The cheery Saber chirped as she placed a piece of taffy in the middle of the book. She looked on at the book as she waited for some sort of response from this Nursery Rhyme.
Said response came in the form of gouts of fire and lightning bolts that Nero nimbly evaded in time. Afterwards, she decided to chuck the other candies in hand hard enough to send the tome spiralling back to the end of the room.
"Hey, hey, you're a Saber! You can't just chuck candy like that and knock back something that hard, you're not even remotely an Archer!"
The emperor in question smugly laughed at my retort, "Hn! 'Tis my magnificence as an emperor of Roma, Praetor! All arts and talents are just within my grasp ~" She said this as she conjured and showered rose petals out of nowhere.
Nero sighed and frowned at her negotiation attempt being a blunder, "Well, it was a nice try, umu." She got her Aestus Cestus blazing in hand as she got ready to battle Nursery Rhyme.
"Praetor, your orders?"
I would have had Nero lead the rest of the Servants but…
"Master, it appears there's certainly more than just us here." Dantes looked around as he charged his hands with baleful azure lightning. "I can take the others here with Sir Mordred and Lady Mash. There's certainly a handful of other rampant spellbooks about, thanks to Nursery Rhyme."
Thanks for taking the initiative, Dantes.
I nodded at the dapper Avenger, "Nero and I will deal with Nursery Rhyme, then. You three, back us up and keep away any spell books that would interfere with our side." I said this as I cocked my rifle and aimed down at the malevolent Caster of a tome.
BANG!
I unloaded a well sniped shot at the floating children's book, but all it hit was a magical barrier that shielded the impact. A burst of mana briefly flashed, as Alice soon manifested from the book. Unlike the one in Chaldea, this one contained an empty, lifeless gaze in her eyes rather than the innocent, joyous ones I had grown familiar with.
"Nero, looks like she's getting serious!" I channeled mana into my hand, "Rouse valor upon my Servant, Impetus!"
Nero's meteorite sword burned even brighter, as its eternal flame roared. The Saber took the hint, and rushed towards Alice with her sword at the ready. The emperor gracefully slashed about the Caster in a dance of wild rose petals, as balls of frost and flame were blasted in several directions. Even though this is my nth time seeing Nero's swordplay, I still can't help but be left in awe every time.
Snapping out from my daze, I quickly gave my emperor Saber covering fire from the sidelines. Slowly but surely, we were whittling down the Caster's defenses with sword dances and Gandr shots.
"Praetor, she's a tough one this time around, umu." Nero took a bit to catch her breath as she dodged a salvo of fire and ice bursts from Alice once more. As our fight dragged on, the emperor couldn't help but be exhausted from dodging the whole time. "How do you think we should go about this? That shield of hers is almost as persistent as I!"
"Heh, not to worry, I will do my part from this position." said Andersen as he walked over to us, "It seems that you and your obnoxiously peppy Saber need some more support to take down Nursery Rhyme!" As he said this, he conjured his book and quill into existence.
The writer's mana flared up as he grabbed his quill, "How odd that a loud and haughty emperor like you would be bound to a contract with a laidback magus, heh. Allow me to write a worthy victory for this bizarre adventure's protagonists…"
Andersen's mana spiked further as his book's pages turned rapidly, "Marchen Meines Lebens!"
Suddenly, Nero and I felt even stronger as mana surged through our bodies, as it invigorated us and our wounds started to knit in an instant.
"My thanks, great author! Go rest then, little boy. We've got this!" I smirked at Andersen as I rapidly fired Onigashima faster than my eyes could catch on. Nero dashed and slashed around Nursery Rhyme even faster than the fire and ice could graze her dress.
"How rude! Still, I will at least worry less with this rampant Servant gone after you clean up this mess." The author decided to hang back and fire off orbs of mana at the stray Servant as further ranged support.
"This rude and violent Alice will be done in a flash, umu! Don't blink, Praetor!"
Nero charged mana into her blade, as a massive gout of embers shot out from it. She nimbly sidestepped another horde of the rogue Caster's magic, and slashed forward to split the Servant in half. The mana condensed slash left rose petals and sparkles in its glamorous wake as Nursery Rhyme soon faded into gilded nothingness.
"Umu…" Nero stabbed her sword into the ground and leaned on it, "She certainly made me put up quite a performance there."
I ended up taking a deep breath as well, as I realized how sore my right hand was from firing my rifle so rapidly. "Heh, even from the sidelines, she certainly made me work up a sweat too, Nero." I took a look at the author who was sitting on a stray pile of books, "Well, this fulfils my end of the bargain, Andersen. So, about those leads you mentioned?"
The Caster looked back at me as his quill and tome faded away, "True enough, you lot did hold your end of our bargain. I will tell you all of such when we find a much more secure venue to do so."
I nodded in return, "No worries about that, Andersen. We have a safehouse a couple of blocks away from this book shop, so we'll be able discuss it over there."
"Senpai!" I looked over to my right and found Mash, Dantes, and Mordred walking over to us. As much as they were scuffed and bruised in some parts, they seemed to have a less difficult time as we did in clearing out the bookshop.
"Good to see you all well and in high spirits, Mash." My lilac junior decided to patch up Nero and I with healing spells and potions as we took a breather.
"Well, I can't take much credit here. Edmond and Mordred wiped them out easily, you know?" She frowned and fidgeted a bit.
Mordred suddenly pat the upset Shielder, "Hey, hey, don't put yourself down so much, you dork! You kept tanking for me and that broody bastard anyways!" She ruffled Mash's lilac hair as she said her piece.
"As much as I detest that nickname Sir Pendragon has given me, I do agree that you are certainly more important than you think, mademoiselle." Dantes gave my kouhai a polite bow as to express his gratitude for her.
"W-woah! You t-two didn't have to go say all that about me!" My Shielder couldn't help but have a bashful look on her visage, though she eventually smiled, "Still, thank you two very much. Mash Kyrielight will do her best for all of us!"
In eager agreement, Fou leapt on Mash's head and happily chirped along.
Wait, Fou?
"Say, Mash, when did Fou get here? I actually got caught up with all the stuff that's been going on that I forgot about this little fuzzball." I gently pet Fou's velvety fur as I wondered about his whereabouts.
"Ah! Well, I actually didn't see him around, so I thought he stuck around in Chaldea. Little did I know he just arrived in Londinium quite late." At this point, Mash picked up the fluffy boy and set him on her lap, "I was up early today and I heard scratching by the front door, and there he was!"
This boy certainly has a mind and pace of its own, eh?
As soon as we were all healed up and rested, we decided to leave the Soho bookshop and return back to our safehouse with our blunt and pessimistic Caster in tow. Currently, the author was humoring Mash and Dantes about his works while riling up Mordred every now and then with his remarks. The loud and lively banter seemed to put us at ease despite how gloomy Britannia looked veiled in thick fog.
"Say, Praetor?" Nero strutted by my side as she chewed on some taffy that Mordred gave her, "I can't help but feel like I've seen or even met this pint-sized author somewhere. You wouldn't happen to have summoned him in Chaldea yet, have you?"
I rubbed my chin in thought as I tried to recall summoning someone this short and blunt back in Chaldea's white walls. "No memory of him comes to mind for me, Nero. Maybe you met him elsewhere?"
The short Saber just frowned at that, "That's probably it, umu. I feel this odd rage and annoyance towards him, as if we've argued several times over in the past or heard him speak so bluntly to me before today."
"Anyways, I'll punt that pipsqueak if he ever dares to disgrace my ever glorious air with such remarks, umu!" She said in a singsong tone that worried me greatly, as she looked over her Aestus Cestus in odd anticipation.
While our cheery air was quite uplifting for us, it was ruined quite abruptly as a familiar Caster emerged from the fog.
"Hn, looks like you lot are celebrating a tad bit too early, no?"
"Caster…" I had my hands ready to draw out both Shirogane pistols as he scanned our group with steely eyes. Although upon closer look, his white garb appeared to have some tears and marks on it and his hands were quite bruised.
"So, it appears you've run into our other half of the party, eh? I suppose Jack is holding them off while you scurried off to find us…"
The tall Caster smiled mirthlessly, "On the contrary, I was supposed to have seeked out your base of operations and tear it down myself while you left it defenseless. Jack, however, was struggling with the Servants you dispatched at Yard's residence, I ended up having to supply her sufficient backup."
I materialized my handguns in my hands as I got ready to fight him, "Either way, this is the end of the road, Caster. We won't let you slip away this time."
In response, the long haired mage took out his sword and swung it as he channeled mana into it. "We are in agreement then, though it would be unfair if all of you just ganged up on me…" As he said this, a horde of lithe dolls with blades surrounded us menacingly, cutting off any direct line to escape.
He quickly waved the sword once more and conjured torrents of high pressure water in my direction.
Shit! I won't be able to dodge this unscathed!
My worries were put at ease as azure lightning vaporized the water bombs right in front of me. As I looked once more, I saw Dantes looking back at me with those glowing amber eyes of his.
"Heh, outnumbering us?" The Avenger lit his cigarette as he spoke, "Sad to say, that these odds are quite in our favor nonetheless…"
The Caster blinked in surprise at the noble's sudden appearance in front of him. "We shall see about that…" He concentrated his mana once more, as fire, water, lightning, earth, and wind swirled about himself.
"I am Caster Paracelsus, the Alchemist. Come out and show me the brunt of humanity's resolve, Master of Chaldea!"
Dantes glanced in annoyance towards the alchemist and looked back at me,"Master, shall have we this dance to end the mad Caster, oui?"
I gave the dressy Avenger a grin in response, "Let's give this man a waltz to remember then!" I looked back at my other Servants and saw that Nero and the others were already engaged in combat.
As I said that, Dantes zoomed past Paracelsus' automata as azure sparks traced his steps. The Avenger swiped at the mild mannered Caster with his hands, full of baleful lightning.
His opponent responded in kind by swinging his sword and conjuring fire and wind to attempt to burn Dantes down.
While he concentrated on fighting the Caster, I made sure to blast any automata that would attempt to blindside the Avenger with their bladed arms. As much as I would've preferred to use Onigashima, the automata in question were too nimble for me to accurately pick them off one at a time.
Within my peripherals, I noticed one of the bladed dolls about to come at me, so I ended up rolling to the side. As I dodged the lethal arms, I replaced handguns with a longsword I just materialized.
I sidestepped to my right and channeled mana to my longsword, "Kurogane: Fleeting Swallow…" My blade of mana cleanly sliced the attacking doll in half as I striked through.
Thankfully, Okita and Raikou decided to drill some rudimentary swordsmanship in the case of close quarter combat like this. Kurogane, was a minimalist double-edged blade without a guard. While similar smithing techniques in Eastern blades were used, the overall design was given a clean and tactical feel to it. As strong as it is, it's only limit is me, really. The mana efficient conduction of the armament is only good enough for me to be able to kill off anything that isn't a Servant on my own.
Soon enough, more and more of the killing dolls appeared from the mist. While I dealt with these, Dantes was having a tricky time fighting off the alchemist, since he kept firing off runes and elemental magics one after the other.
Shit, I better buff Edmond here before we get overrun by these things…
"May the spirits sate thy hunger, Spiritus!" As I chanted out the spell, bright golden sprites surrounded the noble Avenger and soon enough, he started gathering more azure lightning in his hands.
Edmond tipped his hat at me, "Hn! My thanks, Master!" The count zoomed past the killing dolls and grabbed Paracelsus in a vengeful chokehold. "Caught you now, bastard." He charged up his free left hand and punched the Caster right square in the jaw.
The alchemist soon recovered as he commanded one of his automata to catch him and help him up.
"Heh…", Paracelsus coughed out a decent amount of blood as reeled in from the impact of the punch, "Well, that was a nice shot…"
Dantes and I stood at the ready as we anticipated his next move…
"I'll end it here, however!" Various elements of nature surrounded the Caster's short sword, "Noble Phantasm Release:..."
The alchemist's mana sharply spiked up as he got ready to swing the blade, "...Sword of Paracelsus!". As he finished those words, a rainbow beam of myriad elements was directed towards me and Dantes.
The last thing Paracelsus saw was an explosive pillar of light at where we stood. He looked over his work in satisfaction, "Hm! I suppose the people of Chaldea were too ambitious, after all."
"...Oh? Who are you to decide such?"
The Caster whipped his head and found Dantes and I right behind him.
"Amen to that, Edmond." I said as I slashed away at Paracelsus and shot him in the eye with my pistol. "I guess you were the overambitious one, ser Caster."
The alchemist fell to the ground in shock at how sudden the deathblow was. "How the...hell? Your mana signatures were gone as soon as I fired off my Noble Phantasm, so how the hell did both of you even escape…" He coughed up a fatal amount of blood and struggled to keep himself upright as he spoke to us in his death throes.
His one good eye widened in surprise as he saw the remnants of azure sparks by our feet, "You... teleported away with your Master?"
"Hn, you can put it that way." Dantes cracked his knuckles and brushed off dirt on his coat, "Interpret my powers freely as you return to the Throne, alchemist."
"I see then…" The Caster faced towards me, "Well played, Master of Chaldea. May your journey to the King of Mages be a fruitful path of strife, for your tenacity may be worthy enough to do so."
As he said this, the alchemist finally faded away in golden light. The numerous killing dolls around us vanished just as quickly as their creator and soon, our battlefield became the silent and foggy borough of London once more.
"Whew! We really pulled a fast one there, Dantes." I sighed as my knees gave in as I sat upon a cold cobblestone road. "You gotta warn me the next time you teleport away using Enfer Chateau D'If though. My body can't just take the whole escape from time and space thing, y'know?"
Dantes chuckled, "Heh, bold of you to assume there would be a next time, Master." The Avenger helped me up and carried me on his back, "We have to get going though, we're already quite beat up."
"Woah! Dantes, you give piggyback rides!" Nero exclaimed as she headed over to us with Mordred, Mash, and Hans. "You gotta give me one next time!"
"It sure is nice to see you well and about, Nero." The noble looked at the rest of the similarly beat up Servants, "Good to see you all, as well."
"Right back at ya, gloomy!" Mordred was propping herself on Clarent as she shakily stood up, "I'd offer to be your tag partner, but those automata fucks got me on the knee."
As if comedically timed, the Avenger's knees slightly buckled and wobbled, "Say, we should just get going now. I am feeling quite exhausted from today's affairs, after all. I fancy myself a nice seat and drink right now."
On that cue, we promptly headed back to our homely base within the fog-cursed city.
I ended up sleeping on the way back and as soon as I woke up, I was lying down on the living room couch. Once I felt the soft cushions, my eyes opened to see a sneering witch looking down at me.
"Oh? You're finally up, you bastard." Jeanne said while she shoveled a heap of stew in her mouth. "I had to wait up on having my dinner here since everyone else was done hours ago, y'know?"
I sat up on the couch and saw that only the living room and kitchen's lights were turned on. Looking at myself, I saw that I was underneath a comfy quilt and still wearing my tattered up Chaldea uniform.
"Is that so? You didn't have to wait on me, sunshine ~" I chuckled as I saw the saintess giving me a disgusted glance at her nickname. Still, she reluctantly handed me a bowl of brown stew. "...Say, what kind of stew is this?"
My companion could only shrug in response, "Hell if I know! Just eat the stew so I can rest on my couch already." She took a spoonful and stuffed her face with it.
I took a spoon and started feeding myself the homemade meal…
"Hmm, it's pretty good actually. Although, if Emiya was here, we'd certainly have a feast ~"
I mused to myself as I bit into chunks of meat and bits and pieces of potatoes and carrots. Something about the stew felt homely to it, it wasn't the best stew out there, yet I felt warmth inside despite the irregularly cut up morsels within.
Jeanne gave a small grin as she agreed with me, "You're right, Master. Still, it's most likely not the worst thing you've had, non?" I nodded at that, while a memory from the past Singularity popped into my head.
Cue that one time Mash and I had to eat wyverns over a fire since our supplies got ransacked by bandits with an unusually high mana signature. Not even Emiya's cooking that time could mask the gamey taste of the purple hued meat we had on that island in Okeanos.
Sure, it was edible…
My whole body cringed as I remembered how tough Mash and I had to chew on the grilled wyvern. Emiya could only look back at us apologetically since this is all we had to eat on that night.
... but shit, it's something I don't want to try again.
After finishing our bowls of meat and vegetables, we ended up lounging around the common room. I had briskly gone up to bathe and change my worn clothes for a fresh set of casual sleepwear.
"Eh? You're still lingering here?" Jeanne looked at me with a peeved look on her features, "You should be resting, idiot." The saintess also cleaned herself up and slipped into a shirt and some track pants.
"I mean, yeah, I haven't exactly caught up with the rest of you and whatever happened with Jack." I took up a seat on the couch next to Jeanne, "I was still worried when we parted ways and headed out here and there."
I scanned the saintess' body for any major injuries and such. My eyes widened in concern as they quickly latched on to her heavily bandaged abdomen, which seemed to have been freshly changed and wrapped about.
The maiden raised her eyebrow and had a slight flush on her snowy face, "You don't have to look after me like I'm some lost pup, idiot." She looked over the wound I was looking at, "Don't worry about that so much, Master, that kid just got me good when I blinked. Still, I'll fill you in on what happened on our end."
In a nutshell, it appears that Jack gave the other party hell and back. While Paracelsus' creations and minions were a small trial on their own, the child Assassin was a much more daunting task. This is given that L'Artoria, J'Alter, and Fran weren't particularly nimble Servants and Jack was pretty much taking advantage of her nimble niche. Luckily, Jekyll changed into Hyde and blindsided the Assassin of the Mist as the fatal blow.
"That glasses guy? He got pretty wild earlier, hell, he went from Assassin to Berserker in a split second." Jeanne had a look of mild amusement, "Who knew that prim and proper bastard could go batshit like that, huh?"
"This IS Jekyll we are talking about. His whole story is based on the fact that he has an evil berserk side to his goody two shoes doctor self, thanks to some weird serum he drank." I got myself one of my remaining Sparite bottles from the bridge and went back to sit on an adjacent seat to Jeanne. "It'd be weird if you and Jeanne could do that actually…"
The maiden in question gave a disgusted sneer, "How appalling! It's already loathsome enough to have her around in Chaldea…" She shivered in further disgust as she imagined having to share a body with her chipper twin, "It's gonna be hell on Earth if I shared a body with that disgustingly cheery saint, eugh!"
"HAHA! Well, well, it's nice to see you express more than death threats about Jeanne, J'Alter." As I laughed at the dark saintess, I noticed how cute she could angrily pout at me. I could never see this kind of scenic sight with the softhearted Maid of Orleans.
I was taken out of my musing as I realized Jeanne moved a bit closer to me with glare. I only realized that as she weakly jabbed me in the gut to get my attention.
"What the hell was that for?!" I winced as I rubbed my abdomen from the soft blow. She only looked back at me with an amused smirk on her face. "Well, it looked like you were way too amused at my expense with that dopey, cute smile on your face, scumbag ~"
"Heh! You're just too edgy to admit that you don't mi-" Wait, what did she just say?
"... that dopey, cute smile on your face, scumbag ~"
The parting remark only hit me a truckload of Saint Quartz as I just processed what she actually told me. Heat was practically rising from all parts of my face as I realized that fusion of an insult and flirt.
"S-say, Jeanne? Could you repeat to me what you just said?" I scratched the back of my head out of nervousness, "I don't think I heard you that well, y'know?"
"Heh, do you just like being degraded by me, loser? I said that-" The once smug tone of the saintess faded into silence as she just realized what she just said.
"Eh?! Hey, hey, that didn't just slip out of my tongue now did it?" Jeanne looked away from the equally flushed Master of Chaldea, "Shit, judging from his reaction, I think I actually said that cheesy, shitty line! Curse that saintess! Some part of her still rests in this body of mine…"
"Jeanne? You okay back there?" I inched a bit closer to check on her, since she seemed to go a bit too quiet for herself. "Jeann-?"
My answers were quickly answered with a pillow that travelled at the speed of light. "Hey! What was that for this time?!" I rubbed my nose as I winced in some amount of pain, despite the incredible fluff of the pillow she tossed at me.
As she looked at me, she averted her eyes every now and then, but a scowl was present on her flushed face. "I didn't say jack shit about your dopey face, idiot! If you really think I did, you're definitely hallucinating, urgh!"
"Er, I'm sorry if I annoyed you and all, Jeanne." I looked at her with an apologetic grin
She scoffed and turned away from me, "You should be grateful I'm keeping you company as your Servant. Just let me go to sleep now, it's half past midnight now, you bastard." The saintess hid under her sheets and attempted to sleep.
I pouted a bit at her rough self, so I took my leave to go back to my room with Mordred. Still, I didn't forget to return the pillow she threw at me earlier and I neatly put it next to her fluffy mop of snow white hair.
"Idiot…" I heard her mutter that out as soon as I returned the pillow to her and I left the room with an amused smile.
I got back to my room and found Mordred on her bed with her body spread out and her sheets sprawled about the place. The spiky haired knight snored softly with a dopey smile as she ventured away in the land of dreams. I made sure to gently tiptoe to my side of the bed and turned myself in for the still misty eve.
"Honestly, she'd be really cute herself if she wasn't this rough around the edges..." I said to myself as I snuggled further into my comfy sheets, "Still, I guess that's her appeal, isn't it?"
While the sole Master slept away, Mordred looked over as she got up from her fake slumber. She couldn't help but quietly snicker to herself at this side of Ritsuka, considering how laid back yet mature he was at other times.
"Hehe, I wonder if he'll flip if I tell him that witch was the one who cooked the stew for him. She even made the effort to hide away the actual food we had for dinner tonight." The knight couldn't help but cheekily smile at the antics of the two, "I'm pretty sure my other self knows all about this…"
For different reasons, the two people within that room slept dreamlessly.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Blooper: Chaldea Break Room II: GUDAGUDA Takeover!
As Dantes just so happened to leave for Londinium, he ended up (reluctantly) giving the keys to the Chaldea break room to a peculiar pair of Servants.
"Hm, Okita, move that sculpture a little bit to the left. Ah, hey! MY left, not your left!"
CRASH!
"I kept telling you that the sculpture was too heavy for the table to support, Nobu! Ugh, now we have to pay Dantes for this…" A pink haired Saber sighed in exasperation as she quickly picked up the broken fragments of the table and dragged it away to the waste area.
Shortly after, the Saber was greeted to the sight of her eternal rival of an Archer lazing about on one of the couches in the break room.
The Archer in question was Oda Nobunaga, a key historical figure in Japan who united the nation. Casually called as Nobu, she happened to arrive in Chaldea with her Saber companion after some bizarre incident that dealt with reality defying GUDAGUDA particles.
The more levelheaded of the two, Okita Souji, was widely renowned as a captain of the Shinsengumi's 1st unit and a genius swordsman. Despite all these, she still seems to have an ever persistent case of tuberculosis even if she is a Servant already.
"Hey! We're supposed to be manning the cafe here and not lounge around the place all to ourselves!" Okita attempted to pull Nobu out of the chair, "Don't make me fire off my guns here, you bedridden Saber!"
Oddly enough, even Edmond himself was unsure about letting these two handle the cafe but Okita seemed responsible enough to manage both the facilities and Nobu.
"Y-you take that back!" The pink haired Saber was able to successfully pull the petite Archer off the couch at this point. "We're going to open up shop soon, so we better set up, Nobu!"
"Fine, fine! Anything to get you to stop nagging me!" The pint-sized shogun went to the back room with Nobu to change into more appropriate wear for cafe management. The duo walked out the room wearing button up shirts, vests, and slacks that seemed classy enough to fit their establishment's chic Eastern theme and decor.
"Woah! Is this what it feels like being as dressy as that Avenger, Nobu?!" Okita looked at herself in a mirror near the break room, "Hehe! I wonder if our Master appreciates cute Servants in formal stuff like this…"
Nobu couldn't help but check herself out in the mirror as eagerly as her fellow Servant, "Hehe, wearing this doesn't feel too foreign to me. Still, it feels way better than wearing my usual uniform, but hmm…" The shogun frowned as she felt like something was off as her crimson eyes looked back at her from the mirror.
"Here, I think this is what's missing, Nobu!" Okita fished out a hat that looked similar to Nobu's usual cap sans the golden accessory upon it. "Heh! Now I'm perfect and ready, you Shinsengumi dog!"
Soon enough, the two were able to properly set up shop and opened the cafe on time for business. While waiting for the first wave of customers, the two would take turns polishing and drying up plates, cups, and silverware.
"Hmm, do you think we're actually ready for this, Okita? The only recent work experience we've had is manning the shops when we had our events…" The shogun wondered as she set down a cup she dried.
"You ever just think about whoever comes up with the currency we have there? I mean, I get the eiraku coins and gold dust, but why are golden cookies so much more valuable than those two things?! I don't even want to begin with the Nobbu horde we kept on dealing with those times." Okita pinched the bridge of her nose, "Geez, I shouldn't be thinking about this so much or my- COUGH!?"
"Hey! Leave my Nobbu army out of this! They are in my gloriously adorable likeness, after all~ " Nobu handed the coughing Saber a clean cloth "Heh, that teaches you right for questioning anything in this money driven eroge turned gacha game…"
"Eh? What'd you say Nobu?" Okita gave the shogun a strange look after she properly cleaned her face, then her surroundings of her blood with cloth and alcohol.
"Ah. Never mind me, I think I heard someone's footsteps approaching our shop for the first time today!" The Archer excitedly exclaimed as she stood by the cafe's counter, while her Saber friend followed suit.
"Ah? You two ladies are running the shop?"
The door opened to reveal a tall muscular man with a golden mop of hair and purple shades on his face. Hell, even his belt was golden and was shaped to spell out "GOLD". This man of well built physique was one of Minamoto no Raikou's retainers: Sakata Kintoki!
"Kintoki? I didn't take you as someone interested in mellow places like this." Nobu looked at the Berserker with mild amusement and surprise, "Eh, well. What're you having today, Gold?"
The man of gold gently pulled up a seat near the counter, "Hmm, I guess some houjicha and onigiri would be nice to start off with." Kintoki looked around the place while he waited for the two to prepare his order, "Y'know? This is my first time walking into this dainty lil' place, gotta say that Dantes guy has some taste."
"Didn't you know? It was more of Tamamo's idea how to design this place." Okita promptly served Kintoki a trio of onigiri and a pot of freshly brewed tea, "Still, Dantes did add his own touches here and there, so he'd be pleased to hear that, hm?"
"Thanks for the meal!" The golden man neatly ate his breakfast and sipped his tea, "Woah! This isn't Emiya's stuff, is it? It's pretty good actually!" He looked at his pot of tea, "This tea is pretty good too, yep!"
Smugly, the Archer took the compliments in stride and Okita did so to a lesser degree. "Hehe! Shower us two with even more praise, Golden Boy! We are quite pleased that we made you a meal to your standards." Okita smiled as she set a glass of water near Kintoki, "I'm surprised Nobu even had some finesse in tea brewing. Plus, Emiya did give me pointers on the food prep for this shop."
"All this good stuff in the morning is a plus for me, right now." Kintoki sheepishly laughed and smiled, "I'm actually here cuz I was looking for somewhere to, uh, lay low for a while…"
"Eh?" Both temporary proprietors of the cafe got caught off guard.
"Who are you hiding from this time? Raikou? Shuten? Hell, Tamamo?" Nobu looked at the sheepish Berserker as she tried to figure out his intentions, "Maybe all of them even?"
"Heh, you're right on the money there…" Kintoki quickly looked around, "I'm hiding from all three of them actually and even the esteemed pharaoh himself...ha...haha."
Perplexed, Okita wondered what drove Kintoki to hide out here. "I understand Raikou and Shuten, but what the hell is going on with Tamamo? Hey, how did Ozymandias end up getting annoyed at you?! " As she let the golden man collect his thoughts, she picked up his empty plate and utensils.
"Well, I was practicing my Golden Spark move earlier this week and I didn't happen to see Tamamo, who was on her way to visit Master after she had her hair and fur groomed up for half day, so um…" Kintoki took a sip of his tea, "I accidentally frizzed up all of that away when she got caught within the radius of my Noble Phantasm. Of course, she was furious and she ended up hurling cursed talismans and spells when I tried to apologize. "
The two Servant shopkeeps could only give him looks of pity. Nobu eventually decided to break off the silence, "That explains Casko, so what about that Ozzy-something guy then?"
The guilty expression on Kintoki's face soon turned into a more sheepish one, "Ah, all I did was ask him how he was a Rider when he wasn't even riding anything in particular…" The Berserker shook in some amount of fear, "I mean, he's the only Rider here that isn't riding anything in particular, right?"
"Hm? You dare question my class as the apex of Riders, golden man?!" Ozymandias pointed his staff threateningly at the Berserker, "That is only merely because Mesektet is situated above in the heavens! Only I, Ozymandias, the incarnation of Ra the Sun God, am able to see and comprehend it!"
"Er, I mean sure, you have a fancy boat and all, chief, but can't you actually ride it?" Kintoki smoked his cigar and made sure to blow it away from the pharaoh's face, "Sure, I'm a Berserker now, but I have an actual ride that's pretty golden when I'm a Rider class."
"Ha?! You gilded imbecile, you will pay for your insolence before me…" The pharaoh waved his staff and suddenly a down-sized pyramid started manifesting above the Golden man's head.
"Ah?! Ozzy-Man? No need for this!" Kintoki threw away his cigar and started taking a few steps back, "I didn't come here to fight you nor did I mean anything insulting!"
"Hoho? Can't you become a Rider, Berserker of Gold? Why don't use that steed of yours to run away from my Ramsesseum Tentyris?" Ozymandias started approaching the Berserker as his mana flared up with every step. "Go on, summon that gilded ride of yours, Rider…"
Kintoki quickly changed his Saint Graph and became his Rider self. As fast as light, his Golden Bear motorcycle manifested and he got on the bike to drive himself away from the furious pharaoh.
"Fufu...HAHAHAHAHA! I will conquer that ride of yours and make it worthy of a Sun God!" The manic pharaoh waved his staff once more and summoned a pack of azure sphinxes.
"So, uh, that's another reason why I'm hiding out here, you two…" Kintoki sighed as he cracked his knuckles. The two Servants in front of him could not look anymore astonished as he spun his odd tale of angering one of the most prideful men in Chaldea.
Okita's lit up as she remembered something, "Say, Nobu, didn't we see Tamamo with that bare chested pharaoh earlier today?" Nobu also had a similar look on her face, "Huh? Oh yeah! Tamamo was complaining about something to that Ozzy-something guy and for some reason, Ozzy looked even more menacing than usual and said that he'd take care of it for his little sister of the sun…" Both Servants soon hit a realization about certain events within Kintoki's tale.
"Ohhhh, huh, that's what happened…" All three Servants pondered about in the silence and peace of the break room.
"That's rough, buddy." The other Servants in the room all jumped in shock as a new Servant pulled up to the seat next to Kintoki. A warrior with blue hair and armor, this could be no other person than everyone's favorite dog- Er, Lancer, Cu Chulainn, a hero hailing all the way from Ireland. The hound of Chulainn had let himself in quietly and didn't feel like interrupting his Berserker friend's sharing of his woes.
"Oh? Cu, what are you doing here?!" The golden haired man asked him. The two Servants had decided to just listen in to their two customers, since they lacked the appropriate brain cells to wrap their heads around the chaos of their first customer.
"Ah, I couldn't help but listen to your tale, since well, I'm out here to hide away as well, heh." Cu could only sigh deeply and took a swig of water that Nobu served him, "I accidentally tripped and bumped into Gilgamesh as he was enjoying some fine wine as he strutted about Chaldea…and well, you already know about Scathach, who's pretty much looking to beat me into the ground via 'training'."
"Scathach? That Lancer lady that exudes the aura of a capable woman in tights?" Okita could only think about her in amazement, "Dang, she'd sound like one fine battle, don't you think, Nobu?"
"Eh?! Don't you know that Lancers eat cute Archers like me for an afternoon snack?! You can only say that since you have Type Advantage, y'know?" This brief outburst was met with a quick jab to her side from Okita, "Hey, hey, take it easy with the meta commentary! Our Master/writer can't afford our rights since he did the GSSR banner this year!"
"You Shinsengumi dog! You can only act so smug and pretty since our writer rolled you and your Alter self earlier this year. He isn't even blessed with my presence since he missed my re-run!" Sparks of war and rivalry crackled between the two Servants of the GUDAGUDA series of events.
"Uh, you two okay back there?" Both troubled Servants looked at the two with worried gazes. Okita and Nobu soon realized their lack of behavior and quickly composed themselves.
"Sorry, where were w-?!" The Shinsengumi captain was abruptly interrupted as she heard the front door of the break room. The door currently had a myriad of golden swords protruding from it and soon enough, a beam of light blasted through the center of the door.
"I have finally found you, you blue cockroach of a Lancer!" Gilgamesh walked through the entrance, while another equally angry ruler followed suit, "Hn! To think that you'd disgrace not just I, Ozymandias, but my beloved little sister, Tamamo-no-Mae, Sakata Kintoki…"
"Well shit, I'm gonna die here, huh?" Kintoki got a cigar and started to smoke out what may be his final taste of tobacco. Cu had similar thoughts as he fished out a cigarette and smoked as well.
"First time, huh?" As soon as Cu said those words, he couldn't help but remember the countless times he's been summoned by the Holy Grail and sent back to the Throne soon after. Flashbacks of being forced to stab himself with his trusty Gae Bolg and even being dragged and flung around in Fuyuki by Heracles like a stuffed animal.
Both sovereigns looked at each other, finally noticing the other's presence. "Oh? You're here to purge Chaldea of a disgraceful mongrel as well, Sun King?" Ozymandias nodded at Gilgamesh, "We seem to be in agreement here, King of Babylon. You must agree that these two are fools for daring to raise their blades against a king and a pharaoh, no?"
"FUHAHAHA! That much is true!" Gil snapped his armored fingers as his Chains of Heaven wrapped around the two troublemakers. "Hn! Perfection! To be chained up like the beasts you two are, is quite the fitting fate for either of you."
"Oh come on, Gilgamesh! It was just a chalice of wine, man!" Cu said as he and Kintoki struggled within their binding chains. Suddenly, the two Servants felt the divine chains around them growing ever tighter.
"You absolute brainlet! That wine was all the way from Babylonia and a king's pride would be based upon his treasury of weapons, riches, and drink!" The king could only glare even more with his crimson eyes, "Heh, after all, what is a king if not arrogant! FUHAHAHA!"
The two shopkeeps were currently hiding behind the counter and secretly praying that the two egotistic rulers don't mess up even more of the shop. "Okita, how much is Dantes gonna take out of our paychecks now, huh?" The Saber could only look at Nobu with a similarly worried glance, "Don't even remind me about that, Nobu…"
Eventually, Okita and Nobu popped up from the counter to check on the Servants. True enough, they did see the cafe trashed due to Ozymandias and Gilgamesh, but not to the point of having any extreme renovations. Eventually, the two were about to head out, but they were stopped by the GUDAGUDA baristas.
"Hey, hey! You two knucklehead kings can't possibly leave without buying anything here and causing a mess!" Nobu all but shouted at the kings by the entrance.
"Ho? You dare address us in such an informal tone?" Gil at least gave the two a less heated glare, since he already found Cu. "Truly. We have business in other matters, Oda Nobunaga and Okita Souji." Ozymandias gave the two Servants a more passive look.
"I mean, yeah! You practically trashed Dantes' shop here, so the least you two could do is pay up for damages and buy something." At this point, Nobu had a swarm of matchlock rifles pointed towards them. "I'm sure paying for damages to a little place like this is a meager amount for either of you two."
The two kings internally debated about it to themselves, eventually, Gil answered first, "Hn! I'll only pay for such things if you can make me a fitting confection or drink." His pharaoh companion gave a brief nod, "Fine, I'll allow you gutsy two the honor to serve us rulers refreshments fitting of our status! FUHAHAHA!"
Nobu quickly looked at Okita, "Okita, we planned for this! Execute the plan for the Kings of Sun and Gold!" The Saber pretty much moved her hands in incredibly quick yet precise motions as she prepped the two lieges something worthy for them. Soon enough, Nobu was done brewing accompanying pots of tea for Okita's dishes. Before properly presenting it, the two made sure to cover it up with lids.
In a brief period of time, the two Servants served Gil and Ozzy their respective orders. "Hehe! Here you two go, straight from the Demon King of the Sixth Heaven and the Sakura Saber herself ~" Nobu and Okita unveiled their dishes as they took off the lids.
Gilgamesh was given a particularly special looking set of daifuku, as they were all intricately shaped and designed to look like mini caricatures of the different Artorias around Chaldea. The regular Artoria daifuku were purin variants, which had custard inside them. While the Altered Artorias were more traditional daifuku with azuki bean paste within. The whole set of mochi was served upon a golden plate.
On the other hand, Ozymandias was served mizu shingen mochi, which is more commonly referred to as raindrop cake. The kinako on the side was mixed in with bits of gold leaf, while the confection itself had a particularly familiar pink flower within it. In a small container, was an azure colored sugar syrup that carried a faint floral scent to it. The whole affair was neatly plated upon a gilded boat shaped container.
The two kings couldn't help but look in amazement at their sweets and feel emotional within for various reasons. They eventually snapped out of their dazes a bit to wordlessly sample the goods.
"What in Kur did these two make?! Not only is this plating and appearance extremely worthy of a king, but they seem to please my tastes quite well. Hn, it's unexpected, but I'll take it! FUHAHA! I'll have one of those foolish kings to myself." Gilgamesh internally praised the two as he bit into more and more of the daifuku.
"Ah, Nefertiri, how I am woefully reminded of you in this imitation of a raindrop…" Ozymandias neatly fed himself pieces of the transparent treat with bits of golden kinoko and some of the sugar syrup. "Hm, hm, this treat is quite sweet and delicate, but not as much as thou…"
"How did you two like it?" Okita politely asked as she looked over the two with Nobu by her side. "You two seem to be enjoying it in your own ways even ~" The shogun eagerly looked at the royalty as she waited to be showered in their praises. Eventually, the two did finish up their confections as their captive Kintoki and Cu looked at them with jealousy as they watched them eat such fine treats.
Gilgamesh wordlessly snapped and a fine silk satchel full of precious gemstones neatly landed on his side of the table, "Fuhaha! This should be enough to tell you two mongrels what I thought of these saccharine imitations of that Pendragon woman. This should be a fitting sum to compensate for those unwieldy doors and walls and enough to net you two a substantial reward.
"Hehe! How you two Servants of the East aimed for an ever obvious soft spot of mine. Clever of you two to appeal to me by reminding of my one and only love, Nefertiri! Even then, I shall grant you the honor of being the people in charge of making this particular confection for I, Ozymandias!" The pharaoh gently tapped the floor with his staff and a small housecat sized sphinx appeared toting an intricate golden brooch, with several precious gems upon it. "Hn! This should suffice as a materialization of my gratitude, so take it and weep upon my generosity."
With the amount of riches presented unto them as payment, both Okita and Nobu could only share similarly flabbergasted appearances. In their stunned state, the two lieges quietly enjoyed their tea and got ready to leave and punish their captives.
"Now, where were we, O' Sun?" The King of Uruk stood up and clenched his fist and soon enough, his chains tightened hard enough to wake up the two captive Servants from passing out. "I suppose we have this matter of business to sort, no?"
"Ah, yes. We have yet to rain our divine punishments upon these two mongrels." The Sun King followed the gilded Archer as the two strutted about in their royal strides and left the break room. "You two, tell the Cavern King that this store has earned our approval and that either one of us will be returning to indulge ourselves here. Truly, I have given you lot an overabundance of gratitude and praise, haha!"
"Y-yeah, we will…" Nobu struggled to get the words out as she eyed the incredibly tidy sum they earned just for serving the two of the biggest egos within the confines of Chaldea. Okita snapped out of her reverie soon enough, as she began to quickly clean up the place using her Shukuchi.
"Now, I'm really glad my illness didn't act up while I got fired up making those sweets for those two earlier. Good grief, was this quite a day…" The Saber pondered to herself what she would do with her cut of the profits as she cleaned up.
"Hm! I wonder if I could get to make that GUDAGUDA summer special, hehe ~" The petite Archer could only think of how she'd use her share as a start up fund for such. "At this point, I'm sure we have enough for a fitting title card for the event!"
"NOBU, NO!" Okita could only say so much until the hastily funded event title card appeared out of nowhere.
"GUDAGUDA: Demon Imperial Summer Special!"
Coming to FGO servers soon ~
That was a massive lie and we are not getting anything of this sort, Nobu.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
One day, we'll have swimsuit / Summer variants for all our Servants in Chaldea.
Boy, oh, boy am I not ready for the Nian banner for Arknights and the Summer 3 Event for FGO...
I will see you all once I get back to making a new chapter once more, ciao ~
