Warning: Slight spoilers for those who haven't read OP chapter 897+. This chapter is my own version of events that happen, but there are still elements of the manga in there. (but who cares? keep reading ;P)


Ch 1 : before and after


Before, Nami was okay with being one of the weaker ones in the crew.

After all, it wasn't necessarily an insult - it was just stating the facts:

She didn't have superhuman strength like the monster trio and Jimbei; she didn't have the powerful abilities of devil fruit users like Robin, Chopper, or Brook; and even Usopp - the cowardly sniper she had related to in terms of disadvantaged strength - went on to develop Haki.

That didn't mean she wasn't strong - far from it. It was simply that, compared to the unbelievable feats her nakama have accomplished, an act like single-handedly facing off three aggressive Sea Kings fell under child's play (though it didn't lessen the pride she felt at the end of the tussle when Sanji announced her haul would feed them for at least a week).

Despite her lack of the aforementioned abilities, Nami knew the others also relied on her second-to-none navigational skills to make it through the most unpredictable of seas, which was a battle in itself with its ever-changing weather patterns and tumultuous currents. In an actual fight, she found her Sorcery Clima Tact and sharp intellect enough to make her a threat to formidable foes. She knew her limits and recognized when she needed her nakama for protection - and they shielded her without complaint (most of the time) because they knew she wasn't a frontline fighter. It was how they worked, and they worked relatively well.

As a result, Nami felt satisfied with where she was. Excluding the periodic upgrade to her weapon and gradual progress in basic close combat skills, nothing changed.

Until, abruptly, everything did.


It's at dinner - when Usopp is sabotaging his own takoyaki with a drop of his Ultimate Revenge Tabasco Fire as Sanji, balancing a tray containing seven glasses of juice on his left palm, stabs at the blur of a rubber hand with a fork for coming too close to his Robin-chwan's plate before yelling to the marimo to eat first before drinking that whole bottle of sake or he swears he'll prohibit the drink for a month - that Nami begins to feels strange.

Her reprimand is stuck to her throat as the tingling sensation makes itself comfortable in her belly. She scowls down at it.

"Nani…?"

Beside her, Zoro is blatantly ignoring the cook only to have the half-empty bottle swiped from his hand by an exasperated Chopper, who begins to lecture him about damage to his liver while Brook comments how he doesn't have to worry about such things because he doesn't have a liver (yohohoho!).

She quickly thanks Sanji when he places a full glass of mikan juice in front of her, his swooning declarations barely heard over the sudden throbbing at her temples. She takes the drink and gulps it down, hoping to cool the now burning sensation, but without warning it intensifies.

Her hand clutches at her stomach, fork clattering on her plate, fingers digging through her blouse, breathing hard through her nose. A wave of heat shoots through her, before a gripping cold wracks her body with violent shivers.

She doesn't notice when all ongoing activity stops and the table grows silent.

"Nami?" Robin's voice on her other side is wrought with worry, and she places a warm hand on the orangette's hunched back. "Are you alright?"

Beads of sweat now forming on her forehead, Nami looks up to find them all staring at her with various looks of concern. Luffy is frozen mid-bite into his meat, eyes searching. She takes a deep breath to control her breathing then flashes all her nakama a reassuring smile.

"I'm fine. Just a little stomach ache."

Robin's eyebrows quirk up. "Is it…"

She doesn't say the rest but Nami knows what she's implying. She shakes her head no because the sensation is nothing like the cramps she expects every month. Nami winces as it pierces again - it's actually worse.

Chopper's already squirming out of his seat, pulling a stethoscope seemingly out of nowhere. He places the bell up to her abdomen. "Are you sick again, Nami?"

"Again?" Jinbe echoes, eyebrows scrunched in a deep frown.

"She got sick once when we were traveling on the first half of the Grand Line," Usopp explains to the four crewmembers who hadn't yet joined at the time. "We didn't have Chopper at the time so she came really close to dying. Of course, I, the Great God Usopp knew everything would be-"

"I was just bitten by some prehistoric bug that time," Nami cuts in, shooing away the fretting doctor. "I'm sure it's nothing."

Chopper's reindeer ears twitch. "I can't tell if it's something serious because your body's already started to digest the food," he says seriously. "Can you describe how it feels?"

Nami bites her lip, not wanting to worry her nakama more than necessary over something that's probably nothing. "It's really not a big deal, just a bit of burning. I must've eaten something spicy."

Chopper looks skeptical. "Really?"

"Mm," Nami nods slowly, thinking. "Come to think of it, I ate at a bar earlier. It might've been something there."

Sanji's ears twitched.

"Nani?" came his low, shocked voice before he's abruptly kneeling in front of her, head bowed, holding her hands in his.

He looks down and Nami blinks at the tears threatening to flow down his face. "My dear Nami-san… forgive me. It was my duty to provide you with the freshest, most delicious of meals when you so desired and I've failed. You had to rely on idiots who served you whatever stale ingredients they could microwave in their kitchen and-"

He spiels on and Nami sweat-drops, sliding her hands tentatively out of his, but he looks so crestfallen at his apparent failure to tend to her basic needs that she feels compelled to rest his soul. She sighs exasperatedly. "It's alright, Sanji-kun-"

"Looks to me like she got sick after she ate your food, swirly-brow," Zoro remarks, and Sanji predictably rises to the bait, whirling around to face the swordsman.

"What was that, baka-marimo?! I'd never disgrace food or Nami-san like that-"

"That's not it," Nami dismisses, defusing the coming fight. "Sanji-kun's food was delicious as always-"

"Nami-swannn~ I don't deserve such praise from a goddess like yourself~"

"-and in any case the feeling's gone now."

And it's true. All that's left now of the initial sizzling pain is bone-deep fatigue, which doesn't surprise her when she thinks back to the day's harrowing adventures.

She stands up and stretches languidly, stifling a huge yawn. "I think I just need some rest."

She's startled when a rubber arm suddenly stretches across the table to slap a palm onto her forehead. "Hmmm… no fever this time," Luffy murmurs.

Nami resists the urge to roll her eyes, lips tugging at a smile. "I'm fine, captain. Really."

Luffy's hand snaps back to his arm before he purses his lips, his head cocked to the side as he assesses her.

"Okay," he states simply, going back to devouring his chicken leg before asking with his mouth full, "Can I have the rest of your food?"

Nami does roll her eyes this time but waives him the right and is thankful for his actions, which consequently calms the crew down enough to realize they're leaving their own meals unprotected. She gets two more lingering looks of concern before the chaos resumes.

She heads for the door just as Luffy breathes out a fire that rivals a dragon's and above the crew's loud laughter, Usopp's proud voice crows, "AHA! How do you like the taste of my special Ultimate Revenge Tabasco Fire?"

The door closes behind her and the cluttering of noise is instantly muffled. The air is cool and crisp against her sweaty skin, and a crescent-shaped moon illuminates the dark sea below. Nami breathes in the refreshing night air as she strolls to her and Robin's quarters, the creaking of wood as small waves gently rock the anchored ship rhythmically comforting.

The second she steps into her quarters she strips off all of her clothes and steps into the adjoining bathroom, clambering into the shower and sighing when the warm water rains down on her shoulders.

She's glad Franky finally caved to the idea of installing a separate bathroom for her and Robin - she knows she wouldn't have been able to keep sane in a ship where males outnumber females by four to one and some of those males didn't care enough to knock before barging in the bathhouse like they owned the place (when in fact, half of them bathed only once a week and only when Nami threw them in there after growing tired of their stench). She didn't let any opportunity slip by, however - Luffy is deep in 700,000 beli debt and Zoro's lost ass isn't far behind. Even with all the riches in the world at her fingertips, she still can't help but charge the perpetrators for having a peek (unintentional or not) of the forbidden view.

Old habits die hard, I guess, she thinks cheekily.

A few minutes later she's toweling off her body when a part of the cotton cloth snags on the locket around her neck. Nami frowns, carefully extracting the pendant from the stubborn strings before slipping on a pearly nightgown and calling it a night. She climbs under her covers, too tired to dry her hair manually, and sighs as she settles into the comforter. She yawns, then blinks away the water in her eyes.

Despite her fatigue, she tries to stay awake for her captain's expected visit - she hadn't miss the flash of panic in his eyes when Chopper had asked if she was sick. Nonchalant as he seemed, she knew he was probably just as worried, if not more, than their nakama - she'd gotten better at reading him these last few years.

On the night before they landed in Alabasta, Vivi had recounted to her how Luffy especially made great efforts to make her feel better again while she had been bedridden, using his rubber ability to make strange faces in an attempt to get her to smile. Even while Nami had groaned as the princess giggled out how the idiot suggested they pour water over her to get her fever to go down, she couldn't deny that the idea of Luffy being all worried about her had made her insides twist and her cheeks warm. She had been right to trust him with the impossible task of climbing a vertical mountain, even in her half-conscious state - and he had saved her life.

The least she can do now, Nami figures as she struggles to keep her eyes open, is beat it into his thick skull that she's fine.

So, rolling over to gaze at the door, she waits. It's hard and every once in a while she jerks awake from a microsleep.

She tries to busy her mind in planning for the weeks ahead. Not that anything ever goes as planned in this crew. She giggles a little at the simple fact before shivering, pulling the covers tighter around her body.

About ten minutes later, the slamming open of the dining room door resounds throughout the ship and Nami's drooping eyelids flutter open.

"Oi!" Franky's rough voice shouts. "Careful with Sunny!"

"Ah, gomen." It's Luffy, his mouth full with something.

"Turning in early, senchou?"

Nami's cheeks warm at the suggestive tone in the archaeologist's smooth voice - she can almost see the teasing smile the dark-haired beauty is wearing.

"Un," Luffy replies simply. "I'm gonna check on Nami."

Idiot!

Her face might as well be a furnace now as she listens to Sanji angrily ordering the rubber man to stay out of the ladies room as Franky and Brook make unnecessary perverted comments about the not-so-secret visit (Nami makes a mental note to deal with them tomorrow). For his credit, Luffy takes it all in stride, laughing their responses away before bidding them goodnight. The closed door muffles Sanji's bitter cries and Zoro's fueling taunts.

Nami doesn't have to activate her Haki to feel his coming presence. If there is one aura she is closely familiar with, it's his. She 'Sees' it as a subtle radiation of the calm, assured power he's earned after becoming Pirate King (ironically contrary to his reckless nature) and surrounding that, a layer that makes him purely Luffy - an adventurous spirit full of love and stubbornness and warmth and simple understanding. It's an aura especially present when he is with his friends and nakama.

But underneath even that is a suppressed force of enormous proportions that Nami can only describe as staggering willpower. She's only ever seen him using it in battle, or when they were in potential danger. Sometimes he emits it subconsciously, like earlier in the bar, when his anger overrode caution. His Haki seems to thrive on sheer power and determination, which Nami assumes has to do with his charismatic ability to draw others to him whilst striking fear into the most ambitious of enemies. She shivers again, but not from the cold - there's an inexplicable exhilaration that comes with being with the most wanted man on both land and sea.

There's a soft knock at her door and Nami smiles when he pokes his head in, a sliver of moonlight shining on the infamous straw hat sitting atop his head.

"Nami?" he whispers, even though he most likely knows she's awake.

"Hai," she answers, suppressing a yawn while shifting to one side.

Luffy steps in, closes the door softly behind him, and walks to her bedside. Without a word, he takes off his hat to place it on her nightstand and slides off his sandals to climb under the covers next to her. She immediately curls into his warmth and sighs as he wraps a rubber arm around her waist and pulls her closer.

He shivers, teeth chattering against her ear. "Geez, you're freezing. You sure you're okay?"

"Urusai," she mumbles against his clavicle, palm splayed on his ragged, faded scar. He smells like the night air and when he speaks she knows he had her mikan pie for dessert.

"You didn't have to wait up for me, ya know."

She hums, squirming to get closer to his radiating heat. Her eyes lazily roll up to meet his grin. "Your mouth still burn?"

He pouts at that. "Usopp's so stingy."

"That's what you get for stealing other people's food," she retorts, "especially since you already get three times the amount than everyone else. Also, you owe me 125,000 belli for that pie."

He shifts back to look at her incredulously. "You said you weren't going to eat it."

"You're lucky I'm not charging you on the rest of my food."

His pout deepens. "You're still stingy too, Nami- itai!" He clutches his head in pain.

"Pirate Kings shouldn't pout," she says, eyes closed, a fisted hand steaming.

"Are you sure you're not using haki?" he whines, rubbing at the bump forming on his head.

"Don't be such a baby," she responds, even as she reaches up to comb her fingers through his hair. His head falls forward and he sighs contentedly in the crook of her neck, the stubble on his chin lightly scratching her skin.

His voice is husky, words slurring in pleasure. "Brook wants to know what color panties you're wearing."

"Tell him I'm not wearing any."

She feels him go rigid against her and he swallows nothing before croaking out, "N-nani?"

She giggles, greatly amused at his reaction. "I'm kidding, Luffy. But tell that pervert that I'm not so that he bleeds to death."

"Oh." He visibly relaxes, then chuckles. "But Brook's already dead, shishishi."

She tugs a little harder at his hair. "Do you want to join him?" she says sweetly, to which Luffy shakes his head vehemently and she goes back to combing his wild strands.

"Sabo's coming tomorrow night," he suddenly announces, voice brimming with excitement. "And Koala."

"Really?" she asked in slight surprise. She had thought they were going to rendez-vous on one of the upcoming islands.

"Un. Jinbe said they called on the Den Den Mushi earlier and were coming with some of the former revolutionaries guys."

Nami can't stop the grin that comes to her face at the news - she can't wait to reunite with them. They had all gone their separate ways after The War, but the bonds created in those bleak times were ones that Nami would never forget.

Her smile falters a bit as a face pops into her head. She hesitates but when Luffy doesn't say it, she ventures out. "...And your dad?"

He sounds unbothered by the sensitive topic. "Jinbe says he's taking care of stuff so he won't be coming with them. He'll be visiting us soon though."

She hums in understanding. Still a wanted man, it makes sense that Dragon would want to lay low in the shadows, especially now as one of the active forces behind the start of the Major Reconstruction. "Anyone else?"

"Hmmmm… I think Hammock and her crew are coming within the next few weeks."

Nami bites her lip, unconsciously tugging at his hair a little harder. "...Is that really a good idea, Luffy?"

He innocently nuzzles her neck, breathes against her skin. "What is?"

She pulls back and fixes him a look that tells him she's serious. "Hancock. I know she's a good ally but... I mean, isn't she in love with you? Doesn't she have some sort of love-sickness disease?"

He frowns. "She's my friend. Besides, I already said I wasn't gonna marry her. She seemed fine, then."

Nami shakes her head. "I don't think it'll be that easy. I've only met her twice and she didn't seem to like me very much."

But to be honest, Nami isn't very fond of the Snake Empress either, what with the way the former Warlord shamelessly behaves around her captain while having no qualms in treating the others like trash.

"Well I didn't like her either at first," Luffy muses. "Actually, I hated her because she tried to kill Marguerite. But then she helped me out with Ace and even helped in this last war so I like her now. She probably hasn't gotten a chance to know you."

Nami snorts, rightly skeptical, but lets it go for the sake of Luffy's simplistic views. "We'll see," she wearily responds, letting him rest his head against her again.

A comfortable silence settles between the two. After a while, Nami's hand starts to slack from its work as she drifts in and out of sleep.

Luffy pulls back and carefully unwraps his arms from her, ready to go back to his room. Nami, half-asleep, protests as his body moves away from her. He rolls out of bed and puts his sandals back on. Nami shifts over to his original spot, curling up above the heat he left on the bed.

Luffy smiles down at her frowning pout. "'Night, Nami."

He kneels down to press a kiss to her lips and she instinctively leans into him, tilting her head to deepen it, but they break apart all too soon.

Nami sinks into her pillow, slurring out, "G'night... Luffy."

He grins. "See ya tomorrow."

He decides to leave his straw hat at her bedside for tonight and the orangette watches through narrowed vision as his blurred silhouette heads out the door.

Her eyes flutter shut.


The world had stopped.

Everything abruptly shifted in the heart-stopping, terrifying moment her captain tumbled out of Mirror-World, barely recognizable - barely conscious - his mangled body littered in dark bruises and oozing cuts. The injuries, however, paled in comparison to the gaping hole in his abdomen, and Nami stared at him from the Sunny, horrified as his trembling hand futilely pressed back the shredded flesh and dripping blood.

Luffy collapsed onto the ground, his wounds too great. She heard herself scream his name.

When he didn't move from where he lay prone, Nami had the fleetingly sinful thought that her captain's luck had run out right then and there, that all the hopes and dreams and wishes in the world wouldn't be enough to save him. She gasped out a shuddering breath, eyes wide and pale, her heart having dropped to her twisting stomach from what she dared to envision.(She had nightmares from then on.)

But wait-

His hand moved. Just a tiny bit that she would've ruled out as part of her denial if it wasn't for the shallow trail of blood that was left behind where his fingers slid on the hardened chocolate pavement as they tried to curl into a fist.

The small action was enough - he was alive.

(He was alive... he was alive.)

Nami fell down to her knees, panting, clutching her chest, waving off Carrot's concerned cries and taking a deep, deep breath. Overwhelming relief coursed through her body.

The world was moving again. Somehow, though, it was different, more... real.

But it was also familiar, Nami thought, in a way she hadn't felt since she witnessed her mother being shot in cold blood, right in front of her eyes. It was a reminder, she concluded, that the people she cared about were not invincible, no matter how much of a front they put up that made her naively think - made her believe - that they were. In truth, they were painfully human, and just like Belle-mere, they could disappear from her life forever. Luffy could disappear from her life forever.

As it was, the relief that came from knowing Luffy was alive was squashed by the reality that he was also terrifyingly vulnerable, and a nauseating fear overtook her soul as she raised her head just in time to see the Big Mom Pirates converge on her incapacitated captain.

The rest of it was a blur, the occasional shots of clarity short and jagged in her memories: an angry Sanji-kun appearing out of nowhere, blazing foot burning with renewed passion as he twisted his body in envious agility, his epithetical black leg kicking all of Big Mom's sons and daughters away from his captain, black cape flying-

- Sanji's older siblings, a flash of sparking red and icy blue as they helped clear a path to the damaged Sunny, a whirlpool of pink and green defending their brother from the back-

- the sound of guns and cannonfire, of her own pulse pounding in her ears as she yelled to the crew to get to the port, hard to starboard-

- Germa 66 and Jinbe's former crew providing a tight defense as Big Mom's naval fleet moved in on all sides -

- her own blurring, unsteady hands stained with his blood as Chopper instructed her to hold bandages down, tight, Nami, tighter, he's lost a lot of blood...

When they finally made it out of Big Mom's territory, the danger far from over but the growing distance between them ensuring enough safety for them to catch their breath and just breathe (breathe), Nami made herself home in the infirmary.

She settled down in a chair next to Luffy's mummified body, the light of the full moon illuminating half of his patched up face. The image of his grinning face in the glass shard she had held in her hand hours before flashed into her brain. She bit her lip hard and bent closer to his sleeping face, tendrils of her orange hair landing by his ear as her chestnut orbs scoured his peaceful visage. She was close enough to hear his soft snores and feel his warm huff of breath on her cheek.

She opened her mouth and whispered, "Liar."

She wasn't angry at him, though. Far from it.

She leaned heavily back in her chair before taking the straw hat on the nightstand beside the bed, fiddling with its rough patches. The more she thought of what had happened, of what could have gone differently, the more she grew angry at herself for being the reason Luffy had to lie in the first place.

Because she was a worrier, Nami deduced, and weak, and Luffy knew it wouldn't do for his nakama to be distracted while facing off a Yonkou for Oda's fucking sake, so he swallowed up all that pain and threw them all that fake, shit-eating grin of his and told them to hurry up while she- she had the audacity to smile back and expect him to win it, no problem.

And he did, the jerk. He won.

She stared at his bandaged chest for a full minute, mimicking the slow rise and fall of his chest in order to calm down.

Somewhere in her mind she knew Luffy would be upset and deny everything she was thinking but either way, Nami wasn't happy. She gazed down at the small scuffs and tears in the straw hat in her lap and thought of how unfair it was for him to put his life on the line every damn time.

Immediately after the thought, though, she shook her head and admonished herself because it was how all of them lived - they weren't pacifists, they were pirates - and she was insane to think that they wouldn't put their all into whatever they were fighting for, whether it be for their dreams or for the people they loved and wanted to protect.

She couldn't ask Luffy not to fight - that would not only be irrational and selfish, but also contradicting to his dream. Luffy aimed to find the One Piece and become Pirate King. He'd have to fight to the top with stronger, meaner rivals aiming for the same goal at every corner now that they were closer to their destination. Nami had known that when she joined his crew and she knew that as she cried at his bedside at the simple fact that he was alive, and had survived his toughest challenge yet.

It was going to be a difficult and dangerous path for all of them and the events that had transpired was eye-opening. Zoro's words from their reunion at Zou came back to hit her with more meaning. They were going to face even stronger opponents, ones that Luffy couldn't all beat even with all his big talk. She wiped her eyes and gazed at him with reddened orbs when he suddenly murmured something in his sleep and upped the volume of his snore.

Her captain would need help, and lots of it.

So something had to change.

She wanted to be an asset to Luffy, not a burden. The others were getting stronger, Nami could see it, while she was falling behind, getting caught in situations they had to save her from. Being their navigator couldn't be an excuse - she couldn't be the weak link that led them to their downfall. She had promised Luffy that she would navigate the seas, to take him wherever he wanted to go, and for that she needed to be strong enough to face the certain danger waiting for them.

Her hands gripped at the rim his straw hat, a frustrated determination rising in her chest. Right then and there, she decided to make a promise. For her nakama. For herself. For Luffy.

No more, she vowed in the quiet still of the night, watching her captain's bandaged chest shift up and down, a bubble starting to form under a nostril. I won't be a burden anymore. I won't run away. I'll be right by your side through it all. All of us are. I'm going to help you achieve your dream.

And that's exactly what she did.


Luffy wakes up in a start.

He blinks multiple times, trying to get his bearings. It's still dark and the moonlight coming through the porthole outlines his nakama's sleeping figures. He yawns widely before frowning in confusion.

Something had woken him up. It wasn't a nightmare, though. He looks down and consciously relaxes his hands, which were clenching the sheets covering him.

Except for the occasional groans, Sunny is quiet. Luffy scratches his head - he doesn't feel hungry, nor does he have to use the bathroom. His frown deepens.

But something is wrong, he's sure of it.

A movement on his left. He turns to find Sanji also sitting up, body rigid in alertness.

And suddenly, Luffy knows what's wrong. It crashes into him, weighing on his chest and senses so heavily that he almost forgets how to breathe through the pain - the feeling of loss.

He whips the covers off of himself the same moment Sanji mutters, "Shit," and Usopp wakes up with a groggy, "What's going on?"

The remnants of sleep are all gone by the time Luffy makes it out the door and across the deck. Zoro is already there, having climbed down from the Crow's Nest, a grave look on his face that doesn't calm Luffy's racing pulse. He can hear Sanji yelling for Chopper to wake up, his voice rough and uncharacteristically panicked.

"No one's on the ship," Zoro says aloud, one hand tightly gripped on Shusui as he follows his captain.

But they all know this. Their Haki would let them know way in advance if an intruder boarded the ship.

And just the same, it tells them when a presence is gone. A light extinguished.

In a flash Luffy bounds the steps to the second floor and slams the doors to the girls' quarters open.

His blood runs cold.

Nami.

The room is warmly lit by the lamps and filled with the sound of strained creaking. Robin's head is bent towards the bed, arms crossed in front of her chest, eyes closed in apparent concentration, but Luffy can see the silent tears running down the slope of her nose and her teeth biting down hard on her lip. She's blocking his immediate view but he can see the extra limbs she's created pushing hard and fast on the chest of an unmoving body.

He takes two steps forward, but the battleships tied to his feet make his movements slow and heavy. His heart is lodged in his throat. His eyes glue on to the pale hand hanging limply over the side of the bed, swaying gently with each chest compression.

Then Chopper is there, issuing orders in his monster form, and Luffy can only stare as huge furry hands lift her carefully up - Nami, his Nami, with her vibrant hair still slightly damp and her skin now unnaturally pale - to carry her out of the room to the infirmary.

He follows.

The entirety of the crew is awake now, and they crowd behind Luffy just inside of the doors. Zoro plops himself down in the corner, head bowed, legs criss-crossed on the floor, hands tightly gripped on his knees. The rest of the crew watch Chopper bustling around the room in his doctor-mode, frantically asking questions that no one knew the answer of.

What happened?

Was she drugged?

How long was she like this?

Usopp is beside himself, mouth moving a mile a minute, hands tugging at his hair and clothing in what could only be described as a mental breakdown. "What should we do? What should I do? What should we- Nami- what- how- oh no, no, no Nami-"

"Usopp," Sanji finally snaps, stressed enough without the sharpshooter's delirious cries. They all feel helpless. He tries and fails to light a cigarette with trembling hands before shoving the lighter into his pocket and chewing hard on the tobacco stick, a sickly expression on his face.

Usopp stops after that but the eerie silence that blankets the room is stifling. Brook's tall figure looms over everyone, hollowed eye sockets peering blankly at the small, pale form on the infirmary bed. Everyone is frozen still. Watching. Waiting.

An agonizing ten minutes pass by. By then, Nami is hooked up to all kinds of IVs and machines and Chopper is giving her his best treatments with what little he knows about her condition. They know this, and yet...

Another ten minutes pass by.

Zoro is the first to move.

He adjusts his swords before slowly standing up from his position on the floor. He walks slowly to the door, every step heavier than the last. Sanji and Franky step quietly to the side to let him through.

When he gets outside, his head tilts up to the moon, now a little lower in the sky. A dark shadow passes over his face and his fingers turn white from the grip he has on the hilt of his sword.

His voice is gruff and strained but the words are still loud and clear.

"Forget it. She's gone."

The answering silence is unbearable, and unable to take it, Zoro walks away from his nakama.

His fading steps trigger something within all of them, and Chopper trembles as he puts down the needle in his hand hard on the table. He reverts back to his original form and turns to the crew with glistening orbs, bottom lip protruding and a line of snot already sliding from his nose.

"M-minna…" he starts, but then raises a hoof to his eyes and outright bawls, shrill and raw and painfully sad, his small form shivering violently.

"G-GOMEENNNN!"

Jinbe turns away. Robin muffles a loud sob, shoulders shaking as a hand presses over her mouth. Franky raises a hand to comfort her but fails as he bursts into tears.

"N-NAMI! SHE'S-!"

Usopp falls to his knees, still clutching his head, eyes wide and tearful. Brook grips his cane as his own silent tears stream down his face.

"I COULDN'T-"

Sanji bows his head, teeth all but grinding on the tasteless stick in his mouth.

"AHHHHHH! I COULDN'T SAVE HER! I'M SORRY!"

And in the middle of the room, the Pirate King stands, the only one not reacting. He's still staring, seeing yet not quite understanding, not quite believing.

"L-Luffy…" Chopper sniffles when his captain walks gently past him, patting him gently on the head.

Luffy looks down at the girl on the bed front of him, hauntingly beautiful in her silky pearl dress, long orange hair splayed around her small frame. His narrowed eyes scan over her face and finds that, except for it being devoid of color, he would have honestly thought she was sleeping.

"You were fine a while ago…" he mutters to no one, a confused frown scrunching his forehead.

Abruptly, he grasps both of her shoulders, lifting her half-up off the bed - he ignores the way her head flops to one side, limp as a rag doll, and how her neck looks so pale and- she was fine just a while ago -

He shakes her, grip hard enough to bruise.

"Nami-"

A hand settles on his shoulder. Luffy doesn't have to see to know that its Jinbe.

"Luffy-kun…" he says.

Luffy doesn't look at him. Doesn't look at any of them. His eyes burn.

Slowly, carefully, he sets her back down on the bed. He climbs up beside her, Jinbe's heavy hand sliding off his shoulder as he scoots closer to her cold frame. He lowers his head down to the familiar junction between her shoulder and neck. His nose meets cold skin.

His hands tangle in her long hair, and holds her body firmly to him as he buries his face further into her neck. He breathes in, one last time, the faint scent of clean soap and tangerines still lingering on her skin.

And then he shatters.


End of Ch 1


hello! yes, i'm still alive. how have you all been? i got a little side-tracked with life but i can never quite seem to let go of OP or LuNa (not that im complaining).

that said, this chapter was tough, both in content and in writing it in general. hopefully no one's too confused about the time change/flashbacks. if anyone is, don't be afraid to let me know so i can clarify. :)

thank you to those who read, reviewed, faved, followed, etc. during my impromptu hiatus 3 you are greatly appreciated!

now to work on my other neglected works...

ja ne! :)

- forgottensongs