Updated and edited on 5/27/22- now with new dialogue!
Chapter 3: Joker and the Thief
Hook blinked awake at the sound of a squawk. He rose his head to see…the largest beak imaginable right in his face, causing him to fall backward out of the chair, as the creature jumped back from his flailing. And it was a creature all right, as the beast had a colorful beak and feathers, but also the paws and tail of a dog. It sat on its hindquarters, giving the pirate an insulted glare, punctuated with a drawn-out squawk.
Catching the sound of laughter, Hook glared at Shay D., wondering what was so funny. "Sorry about that. You know how unruly and curious a new pet can be." After calming down to just grinning, as usual, the man made a motion, and the dog-toucan (or maybe just dogcan?) dutifully came by his side.
"Unruly. Yeah right," Hook mumbled as Shay D. went on.
"So, now you have seen amazing sights, made allies and enemies, and even uncovered yet another rare opportunity…and still, you come back here." Hook gives the mysterious man a look; he made it sound like was coming back here on purpose! "Your mind is filled with confusion, I'm certain. Well, this is time to ask. What most preys on your thoughts? I wonder…"
Hook frowned as he went over everything that had happened in just a few days. Two pirate crews, some sort of shockwave-generating weapon, and two Devil Fruits!? Yeah, at least one question came to mind! "Who are you?"
The moment the inquiry is asked, Shay just laughed like he just heard a hilarious joke. "You are far too early to ask that question! Perhaps after you've faced a True Conqueror and lived, then you would have earned that knowledge!"
"True Conqueror?" Hook asked. "A true conqueror of what?"
The young man does not get an answer; instead, the room began to fade out of focus. "It seems our time is up once more," the stranger commented. "Go then, sail to face Clowns that have sailed with Kings, and recover the Weapon that may yet travel to Heaven!"
Hook woke with a start, looking around the dinghy. The only person there was Silk, holding up a spyglass and fixing the recently risen pirate with a strange look. "Do you always thrash and mutter in your sleep? Doesn't look healthy." She waved off the rebuttal already forming on Hook's lips. "Not important. Look what I just found." She offered the spyglass, which Hook took to see Silk's discovery. Sure enough, it was Gally's gaudy ship, docked at some seaside town. "He's there, he has to be…hiding with Dorado to boot." Silk gripped her saber with white knuckles as she ground her teeth.
She's so on edge that when Hook, looking a little perturbed at her show of aggression, patted her on the shoulder. Silk fixed the Combo-man with eyes made to destroy someone else, so Hook let the glare slide. "Take a breath. You won't get back Dorado rushing in blindly."
The blonde stared at Hook for another minute before she finally took a deep breath and relaxed her stance. "I…suppose you're right. Alright, I'll stay calm…" Despite her calm expression, her eyes harden to steel in an instant. Only until I see Gally face to face."
"Ahoy! Help us!" Hook and Silk were startled with screams of distress. Whipping the spyglass back to eye level, Hook noted three people treading water for dear life not too far from the vessel. "We need help! Do something!"
For fear (er, careful consideration) of falling in, Hook asked Silk to pull them onboard. Once they were sitting in the barely seaworthy vessel, the trio settled in the aft, drenched and panting from exhaustion. "Thank God you were here! We've been treading water for who knows how long!"
Silk crossed her arms, scrutinizing the group. "What were you doing out there anyway?"
The man was about to answer, when one of his companions, a man with a bowl haircut, nudged him and pointed at something behind the pair. The only thing in the stern was the chest from Gaimon's island, something Hook realized instantly. Hook sighed internally, 'Oh, seriously?' The muggers jumped up in unison, one sword sandwiched between two daggers, all pointed at their rescuers. "Thanks for your help, but we'll be taking the chest there!"
There was a slight pause before Hook looked over at Silk, who was already trading looks with him. Following the same thoughts… both of them raised a fist and…
"Rock, Paper, Scissors!" they cried in unison!
"R-Rock Paper Scissors!?" The men looked insulted and annoyed to be ignored as Hook and Silk played the game. "We're trying to rob you, you stupid-"
"Hm!" Silk held up a closed fist. "Rock beats scissors! I can handle it."
"Huh?" Hook blinked in bafflement. "I thought the loser would fight them…"
Hook began to pout like a kid with a broken wagon, but Silk stood there, unfazed. "What? That makes no sense! Clearly, whacking these guys is a prize!"
The bald one, who had been silent this whole time, finally spoke up, red-faced. "Will you stop ignoring us! Come at us both, if it makes you feel better!"
Hook and Silk blinked at that, as neither of them had thought of that. Silk just shrugged. "You start on one side; I take the other. Meet in the middle?" The young man nodded, with a smirk, before lashing out without looking. His fist collided with the bald one's cheek, crumpling him instantly.
The bowl-cut and his friend barely have time to react before Silk slammed her scabbard on Bowl-cut's head, felling him swiftly. The sword wielder looked at his friends…which was how he was unprepared for Hook touching the blade and absorbing it instantly, with a flash of golden light. "Wha-" As he looked at his empty hands, Silk nailed him in the nose with her blade's hilt, knocking him flat.
She glanced over at her travel companion, and more specifically at the hand that had turned black and gold to activate his ability. "Right. Devil Fruit power. Still, a little weirded by that, but at least they'll be helpful in getting back Dorado."
Hook flexed his hand, willing it to turn back to flesh. "So, feel a little better now?"
Silk looked confused for a minute, before remembering their conversation earlier and sighing. "Yeah, a bit. Hitting something really did make me feel better. Thanks!" She finished with a giggle, sounding a lot less stressed now.
In a few minutes, the tiny vessel docked at the island's harbor, not too far from Gally's ship. Hook kicked off the temporary passengers, still sound "asleep," and jumped onto the docks. The town itself was very quiet and unusually empty. "Huh? A port this large should have someone around..." He turned to Silk just in time to see her with a makeshift rucksack, mimicking his own pack, made from some of his extra clothes. "What are you using my shirt for?"
Silk froze at the attention, her cheeks glowing a little red. "W-Well, if we're trying to keep the 'you-know-what,' better to keep it close, you know." She shook it off and looked around. "So, where to next?"
Without a second thought, Hook turned and began to walk to the floating eyesore. "Let's check the ship."
As Hook climbed up the ship, thanking whatever god or weird shadowy figure above that his arm healed up from yesterday's excitement, he looked around the deck for any guards; seeing none, he leaped over the railing and onto the large ship. Following right after, Silk landed next to him, glaring at her surroundings like she was trying to set the ship on fire with her eyes. "No sign of them. Figures…not when there's another town to pillage right there." She turned back to look at the quiet hamlet, clenching her teeth. "If they're attacking this place too, I swear…" She spotted her temporary ally's side-eye but waved it off. " 'M'fine, really. Let's just find that…filthy coward."
Picking a random door, Hook walked over and began to open it. "Maybe keep an eye out for anyone else, too. Last thing I want is to-"
"DIE!" A random thug jumped from the open door, knife at the ready! Had he not yelled, it might have hit something important; instead, with that ear-ringing warning, Hook flipped over a moron dumb enough to not be prepared for it. The amateur assaulter laid there dazed but started looking much more aware when Silk stuck her blade inches in front of his nose.
"And here I thought rats jumped off sinking ships." Silk gave a feral grin at the sweating man.
"B-But this ship isn't sinking!" squeaked her prisoner.
Silk shrugged. "Meh, it's early. Where's Gally?"
The would-be assailant went paler the closer Silk's blade got to him. "W-Wait! I don't know! I don't know anything! Can't you just let me go!"
Hook looked at the man incredulously. "You try to attack me, and now you're begging me to cut you loose?"
The man gave a nervous smile. "Like you're innocent! We're pirates-people trying to kill us is a…detail of the job."
"I'm not a pirate…" Silk pressed the blade tip to the man's throat, just enough to frighten him. "No more splitting hairs! Tell us where Gally is, or the next thing I split is you!"
"I-I-I…" The man verbally scrambled for any reason to not die today, before locking eyes with Hook and moving, as much as he dared to, to point in his general direction. "Blame him! You…you attacked us at that forest island! You did something to the captain!"
Silk looked Hook over as he raised his hands in protest. "I didn't even touch him. Don't look at me."
"Liar!" The man bellowed, before Silk's sword point reminded him to keep calm. "Y-You tried to grab that ax! When you did, there was some sort of explosion! You were gone, but something…happened to Gally…he looked like his damn soul was pulled from his body!" The seafaring criminal took in a few breaths, before continuing dejectedly. "We ran after that, afraid for the cap'n's life…landed here, to rest…what stupid luck…ha…haha." His laughter sounded like a man who had no more will to live. "If Gally was at full strength…no-not even he could face that monster…" The pirate once more laughed like a dying man. "He is one of the most terrifying men I've ever met…swords, daggers-nothing worked on him. You'll recognize him easy enough-orange cloak, red nose-he could only be…Buggy the Clown!"
Hook blinked at that name. "An unkillable monster…named Buggy? Seems a little farfetched. Got any idea who that is?"
Silk taps her chin with her free hand in thought. "I…think so. Our village doesn't really get a lot of pirates, so we don't really keep up with bounties…" She turned her attention back to the depressed buccaneer. "But that doesn't tell me where Gally is!"
The man looked at-sorry, through where his interrogators were standing, and motioned to the town. "Buggy took him…heck, the entire crew defected-they just gave Gally over to Buggy. Wish I could blame 'em…cowards." He flopped back on the deck, laying deathlike still. "You after that ax, Buggy has it…but now it's as good as gone. You can't win…you won't win…" He just kept repeating that over and over, in both a depressing and unsettling display.
Deciding to end this miserable show, Hook swiftly kneeled down to bop the broken man in the face, bouncing his head off the deck and knocking him out instantly. "Well, now we know what happened."
Silk's lips curled to a frown as she sheathes her sword. "Except that just raises more questions. Who's Buggy? And more to the point, what happened in that fight at the beach?" The last question seemed to be aimed at Hook, if Silk's glance was anything to go by.
"I told you-I grabbed the blade of the ax, next thing I know, I'm ass over teakettle-a mile up and a mile out!" Hook punctuated his alibi with a shrug.
Silk's frown only deepened. "Well, I don't think your powers could do that…" She looked Hook up and down with a discerning eye. "Right?" Hook shook his head, so Silk dropped the train of thought. "Which leaves maybe one theory. Something I heard-"
That was as far as Silk got in her musings before an earth-shattering KABOOM stole all attention! Closer to the center of town, a blast of bright light brightened up the daytime, peppered with debris falling from the air. Silk only got a "What the Hell" out, before she noticed Hook was already running toward the destruction. "Come on! If there is some dangerous pirate around here, any sudden explosions would probably be him!"
Hook and Silk slow down as they reach the origin of the blast zone. While neither of them was an expert in demolition, the large pile of debris certainly looked like it was a house or three. Curious to see where it could have come from, Hook could only find a nearby party on the roof of a nearby inn, just as loud and boisterous as if the cannon never went off. "Balloons and streamers? Is the circus in town?" he said to himself.
"God…what if there were people inside of-hey! Where are you going!" Silk, still stuck on the rubble, looked over to see Hook making a beeline for the inn. "Hey, what is wrong with you!? There could be people in there! We should-"
"Pick up the pieces and give them last rites?"
"Wha…" Silk is stunned by those harsh words. "But…we should do something…what if…"
Hook's snort cut her off; while not unkind, it was enough to grab her attention. "'What if' isn't why we came! We're sailing through this island-we don't live here, we're tourists. We stop to help every stranger we come across, we'll never accomplish our goals! If there were people there, and if they survived, we couldn't help anyway; we're not doctors!"
Silk's eyes widened a bit at the brutal honesty; it was rough to hear, but at least they reached her. With her big brown eyes a little bigger, and now downcast, she resembles a kicked blonde puppy. "O-Okay. You're right. Let's just…" She sniffed once, before fixing on that mask of steel she wore when the two first met. "Let's find Gally, get Dorado back, and…and then I can go home with the Pride of Cisco." Hook gave a single nod before they began heading to the rowdy bar.
The bar entrance was unguarded, so it was easy to get to the roof. Peeking through the only roof access door only confirmed Hook's comment… it really did feel like the circus was in town! Everywhere, among the sloshed jocularity, daring feats were performed with ease-people drinking while doing headstands, knife juggling, ball balancing... if this troupe ever stopped being pirates, they could make a mint at children's parties! As Hook inspected further, he noticed at the side of the crowd was a cage next to a smoking pile, both of which were sitting in front of a cannon.
The most eye-catching of the group had to be the guy sitting on an actual throne, laughing uproariously with some men who Hook was certain he saw yesterday…on Gally's crew. The man was outlandishly dressed-orange coat and hat, red and white striped shirt, baby blue pants-but the biggest detail that could not be ignored, was…the golden ax resting by the side of the chair. Oh, also, his nose was big, red, and round as a tomato.
Silk noticed where he was looking and nodded. "There it is..."
"Yeah, it's hard to miss," Hook said. A short silence settled between the pair before Hook spoke up again. "Do you think it's real or a prop?"
Without looking at him, Silk bopped Hook on the head. "Not the nose! Dorado, ya stupid idiot! What are we waiting for!?"
Hook looked around, observing the situation…Gally's crew made this already bloated gaggle of clowns twice as big. While that would be a big and interesting fight…Maybe there was an easier way to grab the weapon without alerting everyone at once. "We're gonna have to sneak in."
While Silk seemed to balk at the idea of not being able to take a straight line to get back her "Pride," looking around, she admittedly would find it less dangerous to be subtle about the retrieval. "Ok, but how are we going to sneak into all that?" Smirking at the thought of being a little extra, Hook leads the blonde back into the bar below. Raising an arm, he gestured to all the circus junk strewn about: wigs, makeup, oversized pants, and mountains of gags and toys. Silk gets it pretty quickly after that. "Oh…disguises? That's pretty good, actually!"
For the next few minutes, the pair searched for the least atrocious outfit (because even if he was sneaking in, he wanted to look somewhat more decent than the orange-wearing ass clown on the roof!), settling on a yellow-orange vest, over a purple-sleeved shirt that was designed to look like a straightjacket and fingerless gloves. A little white makeup application and a green wig of dreadlocks to finish it off, and Hook could barely recognize himself.
"Okay, ready. You?" Hook turned to address Silk…and was firmly interrupted by her outfit. She had replaced her sea-green top for a black crop top, complete with a red-and-black jacket, stylized with card suits-diamonds, clubs, spades, and hearts. She had even gone as far as to wear a jester's hat that matched the jacket, as well as a blush for her cheeks, and a black domino mask. She caught Hook looking at her as she finished up her lip gloss. "Yeah, I, uh, don't really do makeup, really. Guess I look the part of a clown, at least."
Hook doesn't say anything for a moment before he catches her off guard with a wide, winning smile. "For someone not great at make-up, you look pretty cute, Silk."
"W-What?" Silk blinked at the comment, before swiftly walking past, not even looking in Hook's direction. "Stop messing around! L-let's just get Dorado, and get out of here!"
As they both get up to the roof, they casually insert themselves into the party with not a single drunk idiot the wiser. "Okay," Silk elbowed Hook in the side for his attention. "It might look weird if we stay together. If we divide, and both make our way to King Clown separately, it gives us a better shot to nab Dorado, then we run. Which way are you going?" Hook frowned, a bit irked she didn't even ask if he agreed with the plan, but it was a good idea regardless.
"Divide and conquer, eh? Not bad." The masked Combo-man nodded to the area along the edge of the roof. "You start on one side; I take the other. Meet in the middle."
Silk nodded. "Fine by me. Let's split up, Mr. J." Hook stared at Silk, weighing her down with his unspoken question. "Well…it's 'cause your last name's James…I don't know, it just felt like it was something the person I'm disguised as would say, alright!" She left in a huff, delving into the crowd. Women are truly a weird species, Hook decides.
With that in mind, the not-a-clown edged around the crowd, keeping one eye on the guy in the chair the whole time. Hook was just about to pass the cannon when movement from the cage caught his eye. Taking a quick look, he confirmed that someone was very much inside the small prison, tied up and everything. She looked pretty petite, but every part of her screamed 'fiery fighter,' like her red-orange hair, reddish-brown eyes, and all the struggling to get out of her obviously tied hands. When she realized she was being watched, she stopped moving to look up and grin sheepishly.
"Hey, hey. My wrists were just itchy. You don't have to tell your boss, right?" The get-up definitely worked at least, but speaking of masks, there was something about her smile that seems off…
"He's not my boss. I'm here to rob him." The girl blinked at the statement, before narrowing her eyes in suspicion. "No lie. Don't even know who the cackling loon is." Hook takes a single step near the cage-
"Stay back!" And almost fell on his ass as he was startled by the girl's scream, specifically because it drew some of the partiers' attention. They took one look at the scene, then just laugh their heads off, a drunken cacophony, before going back to what they were doing earlier. You fix Red with a glare, before spotting the catty smirk on her face. "Wow, you're lousy at poker faces. So, you're smart enough to not charge in here like an idiot, but you are not great at lying, which means you're not trying to mess with me. Hmmm~ Now, why are you here? You a bounty hunter?"
'...so much for my disguise skills.' Still trying to reorient himself, Hook's brain took a minute to restart and three seconds to focus enough for an answer. "A pirate named Gally stole something, and I'm here to reclaim it. Have you seen a guy with a weird, pointy beard around?"
"Weird…beard…" The girl looked off in thought until her face suddenly took on a terrified fixture. "I did meet a guy with a weird beard…he's…over there…" She gestured with her eyes…right next to her cage…to the pile of rubble in front of the cannon. Hook took a second to process that he was looking at the scene of the wrecked houses from before, the cannon sitting right in front of the ashen pile of rubble…the remains of-
…Well, Gally will not be running off any farther with Dorado now. But that does not explain how this band of buffoons destroyed three houses with some measly cannonball-
"Alright, Mateys! Time to end this shindig with a bang!" A shill, ear-splitting voice cut off Hook's thoughts, as everyone began to gather around his area of the roof. 'The hell? Have they figured me out already? Where's Silk?' As it turned out, the answer to one of those questions was standing next to the Orange Disaster, terror in her eyes and matches in her hand…right next to the cannon…
The head clown laughed again, an absolutely awful sound. "We started this party for our new recruits by blowing away their old captain!" At that, the former Crescent Moon Pirates cheered loudly, as if that was a normal sentence to hear during a celebration. "And now!" The ass-clown continued, "This here fresh meat gets to take revenge against the sneaky thief who tried to steal my map!"
'A map?' Hook tensed up completely to avoid looking in Red's direction. 'We're here for Dorado... So… if I'm not the target, that leaves Red…' This time, Hook did turn his head, as did Red. Both parties looked over to the pile of well-charred ash and gulped unconsciously. The clown, who swung the gilded goal into the air, called for all eyes on him. "Let's make this flashy! Show 'em what happens when you mess with Captain Buggy!" As the crowd cheered for the loud fool, Buggy apparently, Hook looked between one scared blonde, who had clearly never tried to kill someone (despite her bloodlust for Gally), and one scared carrot top, a thief just smart enough to oust others and still get caught.
'...Today's just one of those days,' Hook groans internally.
A/N 2: Happy Memorial Day! So, I told you rewrites would take a while. So, any thoughts on the new format? If you're just reading this chapter, you can disregard this afterword. Have a great weekend all!
