Edited on 7/4/22

Chapter 6: The Liar and the Coward!

On an island constantly marred by war, a child was born. His parents had no means or wish to raise him, and thus he was abandoned on an island covered with conflict. He had no name." Sure enough, a little to your right was a basket sitting in the middle of No Man's Land. Out of the haze, a man with a gas mask ran out with a sparking sword attached to his backpack. He stopped his charge for a moment, to look at the basket. He kneeled down, lifted the blanket-


After landing at a rocky shore, Hook's party wandered into Syrup Village. As they rambled up the lane, Hook stretched to get the knots out of your back, each success marked with a groan-inducing pop. Since leaving Orange Town yesterday, Hook had been stuck sleeping in his boat, while the girls used the slightly larger dinghy taken from Buggy's ship with an actual couch and roof. If it were not for the fact that Nami, who was a wiz at navigation, could dodge storms and swells with her eyes closed, Hook might have felt a smidge more slighted at roughing it with the elements. Still...

"You two look like you slept well," the sore boy hissed at the lucky ladies, glaring at their backs.

"Not really…/Just great!" Nami and Silk, respectively, missed the sarcasm.

Silk did not, however, miss Nami's tone. "What's the matter, Red? Bad dreams?"

A vein on Nami's temple suddenly pulsed. "First of all, don't call me 'Red.' Second point, I couldn't sleep. Hook, can I ask you a question?"

Hook scratched his cheek and nodded. "Uh, yeah. Shoot."

"Do you really think we're ready to set sail for the Grand Line?"

"Hmm...probably," Hook shrugged, which only set Nami more on edge.

"Well, I know we're not! The Grand Line is the most dangerous sea in the world! That's not even counting pirate crews with bigger, sturdy ships! We're three people in two tubs!"

Silk gave her an unimpressed look. "I think you're worrying too much…"

"You're not worrying enough! Don't you realize what that ocean's full of!?"

"PIRATES!" All three of them tensed and looked around. Pirates!? Here!? Up the road, a very scrawny guy in overalls, with a nose so long that it could point North, bucked it down the road. "PIRATES ARE ATTACKING THE VILLAGE! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" He was so busy sounding the alarm that he did not even notice three new people standing on the road. Not until he ran into Hook... and fell over backward on his ass, not even budging the sturdy young man.

"Ouch. Are you ok?" Silk squatted down to check on the dazed young man. There was little time to answer, though, as a crowd of people crested the hill, and the way they were holding their gardening tools did not make them look like a friendly mob. "Oh crap!"

As the boy sat up, he took one look at the mob and jumped up immediately to hide behind Hook. "Gah! I haven't let them catch me in years!" He pointed his finger in Hook's face (bold move, since he was literally standing between the loudmouth and a mob.), and stated, "You! If you weren't standing here, they'd be eating my dust!"

Hook had no time to retort as the villagers arrived. "Ussop! You lie every morning about pirates attacking!" Said an irate balding man.

"Cut it out already!" A middle-aged woman added. "Some of us like to sleep in, you noisy ingrate!"

Ussop, from the comfort of his human shield, responded by laughing. "You guys are too serious! I'm just adding some excitement to your dull lives!"

"WE DON'T NEED IT!" was their unanimous response. They then proceeded to try reaching around Hook, aiming to wring the liar's neck. Hook tried to avoid being flattened by the stampede of angry men and women, Nami and Silk even trying to calm them from the sidelines. Unfortunately, because of the faces the long-nosed trickster insisted on making, they were not calming down anytime soon! After a chase that felt like it went on for hours, the fuming townsfolk grasped that Ussop had somehow vanished among the crowd. With no target, they began marching to their homes. As for Hook... he was on the ground in a crumpled heap.

"Hook…" Silk said poking him with a stick. "Are you ok?"

Hook raised a thumbs up from the ground, too wasted to move. "I'm fine... but where's that asshat?" As Silk helped him up, said polarizing figure made themselves known.

"Whew! I thought they'd never leave!" The unwelcome voice came from the top of a solid oak tree nearby. Why he hadn't used that instead of a human shield was anyone's guess. "Thanks for the help back there! I mean, I was fine, but you showed great hustle out there! Nice work!"

The Comboman's response to this 'praise' was to apply boot to trunk hard enough to knock the prat off the branch and right onto his face. "You're welcome," Hook stated dryly, feeling slightly vindicated.

"Captain!" Out of some nearby bushes came…attacking vegetables?

'No, hold on,' Hook, still dizzy from the impromptu crowd-surfing, shook his head and blinked, '…those are just kids with odd haircuts.' The one with the orange cap, maybe the ringleader, aimed his wooden sword at the battered pirate's heart. "How dare you!? Stand down, villain, or face the wrath of the Ussop Pirates!"

One child with green hair ran over to the fallen prankster. "Captain! Speak to me! Are you still alive!"

Silk giggled at the sight. "That's so cute! They're playing pirates-ow!"

Her humor gives way to confusion when the third kid, sporting bowl-cut white hair, poked her in the leg with his plywood saber. "Don't you dare laugh at us, witch! Call off your ogre, or else!"

"Carrot! Pepper! Onion! Cut it out already!" A muffled voice sounded out. As it turned out, Ussop, as was apparently his name, had been trying to get up for some time; the problem was his nose had gotten stuck in a hole in the road. " I was just-hrk-messing with 'em! So-come on, come on-leave them alone and-grr!-help me out already!"

"Captain!" The Veggie Trio immediately dropped their toys and ran over to help get Ussop unstuck.

"Well, as fun as this has been…"Hook turned on his heels and start heading for town, "We came to get a ship, so it's been…interesting meeting you, Ussop Pirates. Goodbye." With that, Hook left the kids and Ussop to their own devices, Nami catching up to his stride quickly.

"Well, I'm glad you have some common sense," Nami hummed in approval. "That was a waste of time, and we're no closer to finding a ship."

Hook dusted himself off and began to agree, but noticed something was off… "Where's Silk?" Nami pointed her thumb behind her, and sure enough, the blonde girl was helping the kids free Ussop's snozz.

By the time Hook and Nami had looked over, he was getting back on his feet, and Silk was running back to the group. "Sorry! Didn't feel right to leave him there! So, what next?"

Nami took control of the conversation with her patented catty grin. "Simple three-point plan-figure out where we get a ship, meet that person, get our bigger boat! And rule one of info gathering…" She stopped in front of a small, unassuming tavern. "People love talking when they're drunk!"

Silk tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Really? But, it's barely noon…"

Nami shrugged. "The world's a big place! Somebody's drinking somewhere!"

Hook blinked at that statement. "That's quite the saying."

"Yeah, it's just something Be-" Nami faltered in her steps, and coughed. "B-better get something to eat while we're here."

Hook and Silk traded a look at the stilled speech before following the redhead inside.


As Hook scarfed down the fifth plate of potato casserole, and Silk sat across from him polishing off her third steak, a fact became abundantly clear: Devil Fruits burn massive amounts of calories! Hopefully, Nami was in a charitable mood; this was not a meal that came cheap! Speaking of the thief, she sat down at their booth, looking pleased with herself…before seeing all the empty dishes on the table. "Holy Hell! How much did you order!?"

"Want some?" Mouths still full, Hook and Silk offered her whatever plates were left...

Nami waved off the charity. "Watching you two eat makes a girl lose an appetite…" She clapped her hands like she was signaling a change in topic. "More importantly, I found our mark-er, I mean vessel. Turns out there's this rich girl who lives at the top of this hilly place!"

Silk blinked, gravy still hanging onto her mouth before said mouth broke into a grin. "Really? You found someone? That's so awesome, Red!"

"All everybody talks about is her servants and money! Bet we could beg a ship off of her-Hey! Stop calling me Red!"

Hook snickered as he sipped some water. "That was a bit more delayed than usual."

"All we have to do is play on 'the generosity of the rich,'" Nami recovered quickly. "That, or I'll just charm 'em! Lonely girl. Big, empty house. We're practically already in!"


"Sorry, but nobody's getting." The guard said for the third time to the party.

"Oh, come on~" Even in the face of failure, Nami was doggedly persistent. "We're just travelers from a small town, Mr. Guard! We just wanna see what a mansion is like, hm? Pretty please?"

The guards looked at each other, then turned back to Nami and rebuffed her for the fourth time. She turned on her heels, cheeks blazing with embarrassment, and trudged back to Hook and Silk. "I thought you were pretty good!" Silk tried to cheer Nami up.

"Don't patronize me." She groaned into her hands.

"Guess this trick usually works for her," Hook idly commented as he fiddled with his purple sleeve. Since he had lost his other shirt getting cut up going through a window, he was stuck with the purple shirt used in his disguise from yesterday, but with a little redecorating. Tearing the long parts off, Nami hemming them because she could also sew apparently, the sleeves now stopped just above his elbows, revealing bandaged forearms from his fight with the Clown Prince of Lame. Also sick of the eye-aching yellow vest, he switched for a forest green one to change up the whole ensemble. "So, any other ideas?"

Silk looked thoughtful for a bit, before snapping her fingers. "Hey, Hook! Why don't you try?" Said man raised an eyebrow in question. "Well," Silk looked away bashfully, "You always know what to say, so maybe you could do something about…this?" She gestured vaguely to the whole mansion. Hook looked at the property in thought. Guards at the entrance won't let them in, walls too sheer to climb with two hands. How could this situation be salvaged?

"Hmm..." Hook turned to Silk. "Those guards hardly look tougher than anyone else..."

Silk looked the pair up and down. "Not very tough, huh? We could fight them, wouldn't be hard."

Nami rolled her eyes. "We're not trying to rob them! Beating them up won't make the rich girl up there like us anymore!"

Silk looked a little annoyed. "I said 'could!' I'm not trying to hurt civilians, Red, it's just the job!"

"And stop calling me Red!" Hook rolled his eyes as they got started again.

'These two really like going at it…'

*tuff!* *tuff!*

'Huh?' Hook's ears twitched as he heard…footsteps? Looking over to the far side of the compound, he spotted a shadow sneaking through the bushes. After getting the bickering hens he called teammates to cool it, all three of them quickly headed to the other corner of the outside perimeter just in time to see a familiar long-nosed figure clamber up and over the wall.

Silk cocked her head to the side. "Hm? Ussop? Why's he here?"

"He's clearly breaking in," Nami said her piece, before going over to the rope, a sly smile growing on her face. "Aaaaand, as good Samaritans, should we not make sure he doesn't do something unsavory, hmm?"

"Works for me," Hook said as he ran over, mirroring Nami's smile.

On the other hand, Silk was sputtering at their logic. "W-we can't just break in! That's wrong!"

Hook and Nami traded looks, before addressing Silk. "True, but-/Only sometimes!" With that unhelpful answer, Hook climbed to the top of the wall and watched as Ussop laughed it up with a young pale girl sitting at a first-floor window.

"N-no! You can't be serious!" The teenager spoke as best she could through the laughter.

"I never kid, Kaya! It was big enough that its poop was the size of islands! I even moored my ship to one!" Ussop was weaving an absolutely unbelievable tale, but the girl, Kaya, obviously did not care! The two were having too much fun in each other's company. It was kind of heartwarming, Hook noted; even Nami, who sat on the wall next to him as Silk was still climbing up, smiled at the tale.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!?" Unfortunately, the fun was short-lived; storming around the corner, was some butler/caretaker type who was adjusting his glasses with the palm of his hand. "YOU REALIZE YOU'RE TRESPASSING!?"

Silk, who had only just pulled herself up, thought she was being addressed and immediately fell back to the other side. "I'm sorry! It was their idea!" she cried, even while rubbing her newly sore tush.

"Klahadore," Kaya began, "it's okay. Ussop just-"

"Save your excuses for later, Miss Kaya." Clearly, the butler was having none of it. He turned away from Kaya, to give Long Nose a scathing look. "You…Ussop, was it?" Hook frowned, not liking the look on Jeeves' face… it vaguely reminded him of Buggy, for some reason. As he got off the wall, putting that thought aside, Klahadole raised an eyebrow at Hook's approach. "More invaders? Why are you even here?"

Hook bared his teeth in a silent growl. "Leave Ussop be! He was just telling her stories – there is nothing wrong with that!"

Kaya looked shocked, but Ussop looked even more surprised! Made sense - a stranger defending a stranger, especially a stranger that had gotten the other one half trampled, was a little unexpected. Klahadore was unmoved by the new visitor's words, truly standing like a statue with bad eyesight. "There is something very wrong with that! Miss Kaya needs rest, she is very ill, and this excitement is not helping her!"

Kaya coughed a bit before cutting in. "Klahadore, I'm fine, really-"

"And this one!" He plowed on, pointing directly at Ussop. "Lurking around the estate, bothering Miss Kaya…but what can one expect from the son of a filthy pirate." The moment those words rang out, Hook could hear the ice forming in the air, as Ussop fixed a glare that could cut through stone at the bad-mouthing servant. "Is it money you're after? How much do you want?"

Some choice words came onto Hook's lips - hell, even Nami and Silk were taking steps forward to verbally(?) put Klahadore in his place. Kaya slamming her hands down on the sill and screaming at the rude man cuts off whatever could have been said (or done). "YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR, KLAHADORE! YOU OWE USSOP AN APOLOGY!"

Still, with enough killer glares to kill a grown elephant, the clueless, or classless, man continued. "Miss Kaya, why should I apologize to this trash? I'm only speaking the truth!" Almost unconsciously, Ussop's fists clenched tighter as he took one step forward-

-Before Hook's laughter interrupted the moment, a chuckle that grabbed everyone's attention. "Cursing a man you know nothing about using a man he respects is not truth. It's cowardice."

Klahadore, for the first time in this whole conversation, looked at Hook, the ice in his stare matched the fire in Hook's. "Excuse you?" He said it as a butler, but…there was something else underneath that façade.

Ignoring the hairs standing on the back of his neck from the static in the air, the Comboman pressed on. "Actually, no, not cowardice - stupidity! Here you are, complaining about disrupting your mistress' rest, and all you've been doing is upsetting her. Are you a butler, or an asshat?" That last one may have touched a nerve, specifically the throbbing one in the help's neck.

"Guards! Remove them from the premises! Now!" The two gate guards came barreling around the corner; were they waiting there, or something?

As swift as Hook could, the pirate grabbed Ussop and carried him over his shoulder! "E-eh!? What are you doing!?" the boy asked, rather than answering him, Hook focused on running for the wall and jumped over it…getting his foot caught on the edge, so they tumbled outside the compound, right into the bushes. Smooth.

Silk and Nami, who followed immediately, dragged the fallen men to their feet. But there was hardly time to stand around or thank them, as more footsteps were rounding the corner. After losing the pair of chasers by running to, and through, the village, the group finally took a rest at a cliff overlooking a rocky shore. After spending a minute or two catching his breath, Ussop finally spoke up. "I don't know why…you helped me, but…thank you all the same."

Silk grinned from her strewed-out position on the ground. "We're just helpful like that! No need to be wishy-washy!"

Nami grumbled to herself. "You could thank us with a boat if you have one." She spotted Hook giving her a disbelieving look. "What!? Am I the only one who remembers why we came here!?"

Ussop shook his head at the antics, before becoming stoic. "Seriously, thanks. If that bastard had kept speaking ill of my father…" He clenched his fist again, this time looking down at it in shame. "I…I don't want Kaya to see me like that…"

"You and Kaya are pretty close, right?" Hook leaned against the tree, totally not trying to make up for that embarrassing spill earlier and appear cool.

Ussop's face lit up at the topic change. "Oh yeah! We've been friends for years now!"

Nami crossed her arms, clearly skeptical. "And how long have you really known her?"

Ussop got a little offended…would be an understatement. "Hey! I lie sometimes, but not about important stuff! I was there to cheer her up after her parents died-hmph!" He reflexively covered his mouth, but the cat was out of the bag. Hook traded surprise glances with the rest of his cohorts before Ussop continued in a more subdued tone. "Two years ago, Kaya's folks died from disease, no one knows what or how, but it didn't matter. Everybody was so sad for their passing, I don't think anyone but me thought of the daughter they left behind. After the funeral, I went to see her…she looked so sad, and I…" He paused to take a big breath. "I just started talking. I spun stories of mice who made clothing, talking volcanoes, hell, I even said I'd been to an island in the sky once. Remarkably, she loved them! She stopped crying and couldn't stop laughing! And she has a really cute laugh-erk!" He covered his mouth again, only this time, the looks were all aimed at him. "Don't look at me like that! We're just good friends!"

The group seemed to consider that, before crying out in unison, "Liar!" Ussop's response, blushing and sputtering, was enough to make everyone laugh, really lightening the mood. While Silk laughed and rolled closer to the edge, she looked over for a second, then did a double-take! "Uh, guys?" She put a finger to her lips and pointed down. Hook and company leaned over the cliff to see…Klahadore and some guy. Wait, what?

"Wait, what?" Ussop echoed everyone's thoughts. "Why is he here!?"

"Jango, I instructed you to keep a low profile. What were you doing sleeping in the middle of the village?" Khahadore said, the cliffs carrying his voice all the way to the eavesdroppers despite its quiet tone.

"So, who's the weird guy?" Silk asked, talking over the pair's conversation.

"SHH!" was Nami and Ussop's response. Hook narrowed his eyes, a dark pit forming in his stomach. Something about this felt very unsettling...

"-prepared everything necessary to carry out the plan?" Kuro prattled on, adjusting his glasses with the palm of his hands.

"Of course, I have," Jango, as he was apparently called, sounded offended. "Everything is ready to murder this 'Miss Kaya,' as you planned."

The silence as they kept talking was deafening. As Jango kept talking to Khahadore- well, Captain Kuro, about how he faked his capture, left piracy, and how his pirate crew would be rich after killing Kaya, which he had been planning for the last three years… Hook's brain finally kicked in, as he saw Ussop grinding his teeth, and Silk reaching for Dorado… Sharing a panicked look with Nami, they both nodded before Hook dived down to stop Silk, while she stopped Ussop.

Grabbing Silk's hand, she shot the nearest target a look of pure rage! Hook took it, knowing it was not aimed at him; shook his head, sending a simple message: not yet and not here. Silk still looked like she needed to kill something, but her hands no longer twitch closer to the ax. With that settled for now, Hook looked over and saw Nami had calmed down Ussop, who was holding a slingshot(?). 'Not sure what he could do with that,' Hook thought, 'but defending his friends, despite consequences…well, this prankster has some spine. At least everyone's calm again...'

"…after you went and slaughtered the girl's whole family!" Jango declared with a laugh.

And just like that, ice filled Hook's veins again. 'He didn't…he couldn't…'

"I never slaughtered anyone!" Klaha – no, Kuro rebuffed. "Kaya's parents died in their sleep…" Then, quietly, like not even Jango was supposed to have heard, the callous man muttered, "I made sure of that."

Swallowing his own rage, and ignoring the movement of Ussop and Nami wrestling for the slingshot (though it was unclear which of them was trying to shoot the asshole vs. who was trying to stop it), Hook grabbed Silk with one hand, clamping his other over her mouth, already opened in a call to arms to waste that bastard, and dragged her out of there! Hook focused only on the woman kicking and screaming profanities in his grip (pretty sure most of them were aimed at the four-eyed bitch), so he had no clue if Nami and Ussop were behind him until, after a few minutes of running, Ussop suddenly spoke up from behind. "M-my house…to the left of the road…"

Without pausing, the group turned left, and within a few steps, a quaint yellow building with a chimney came into view. The door was thankfully unlocked as Hook kicked it open and tossed Silk inside. What followed next was ultimately unclear, but after about ten minutes, the house was a disaster area, and everyone looked like they have been in a serious battle. Silk was missing a shoe, Nami was nursing a bite mark on her leg, Ussop's overalls were missing a strap, and even Hook had a bloody nose. Coughing a bit, he spat out some blood. "So…are we good?" No one really said yes, but he could accept a collective affirmative groan.

After some silence, Nami spoke up. "Could I…have some ice?" Ussop wearily nodded and limped over to his icebox. Silk collapsed and sat down against the wall, while Hook and Nami sat at the table, the poor girl massaging her head to alleviate the pain of when she was accidentally headbutted by the Comboman (or did he get headbutted by her? Honestly, it was fuzzy and unclear.). As Ussop handed Nami her ice and sat down on his bed – it was not a very big house, and they were out of seats – an exhausted silence settled over the room.

"So, I guess your instincts about not liking him were pretty spot-on." Hook tiredly quipped.

Despite trying to lighten the mood, the comment only riled the man up once more. "Klahadore…is Kuro…and he's going to…gonna-!" He shot up from his bed! "I can't let – he can't – I have to tell everyone-"

"You do that every morning," Nami spoke hoarsely, as she adjusted the ice pack. Ussop blinked at the statement until he realized what she means, with Hook not too far behind the thief's meaning.

"What?" Silk looked dizzily around the room. "What does she mean? I want to be shocked too!"

Ussop swallowed dryly. "I… I wake up the whole village every morning, yelling about pirate attacks…" He rightly paled at the implications. "If they never believed me before…" The statement's other half hung in the air, not needing to make its presence known.

As Ussop tried to come to grips with the thought he'd cried 'pirate' enough times they'd never believe it now, Hook sat down next to the concussed blonde. "Are you…calm now?"

Silk let out a long breath before answering. "I'm…better. Why do pirates keep attacking villages that can't defend themselves?" The last part she muttered, but it rang clear in the heavy atmosphere; even Nami tensed up at that last statement. "Hook…we can't let some creep like this get by…" She fixed the teen with an intense look. "Promise me we're gonna make these bastards burn!"

With no hesitation, Hook's expression became iron. "Hell yeah." It was no threat; it was a promise.

Silk's only response was a nod back. Ussop's response was a bit more defined. "H-hey! You can't just go picking fights like that! You don't even live here!"

"That's right. We don't." Surprising Hook and Silk, Nami slammed both hands down on the table and glared through Ussop! "We have no reason to care. So, what the hell is your excuse?" For the first time since meeting her, she was not yelling or being screechy. Frankly, it was a little unnerving…

So unnerving, the whole room jumped when there was a knock at the door! "Captain! Are you in? We haven't seen you in hours!" Oh, it was just the Veggie Trio…

"We heard you got chased away from Miss Kaya's house! Are you alright?" Hook stood up to get rid of them – maybe say "Swim for the next island! Grab your parents and your wooden swords! A drunk and a butler are leading an army to tear the town apart!" Instead, Ussop grabbed the man's shoulder and pushed him aside, heading for, and exiting through, the door.

Silk fixed Hook with a look. "You're not thinking of listening in, are you?"

Hook shook his head. "No, of course not. Nami, listen in and report." Silk's look was almost comical, as Nami crouched by the window and listened.

"Okay, he's talking to the kids…they're singing his praises…he's lapping it up…they're asking about Klaha – er, Kuro…and he's…telling them everything's fine and…to go home…" There's barely time to trade looks as Ussop entered again, a look between cautious and determined on his face.

Finally, he said, "You guys…are you really serious about…fighting that two-faced asshole?"

Hook tilted his head, slightly curious as to where this would lead. "Oh? Why are you asking?"

"Because…what if we just evacuate everyone?" Ussop began pacing around the room. "Yeah! I mean, most everyone won't listen – but we could try! And – and Kaya! And I'm sure her other butler, Merry – he can't be working for Kuro, he's super nice to me! We can – You have ships! You have to – you sailed here! So…we can just run, right?"

"If that's what you want to do, then do it." Hook said calmly with a bite in his tone. "Is that what you want to do – run away from every altercation?" It was plain to see in the liar's eyes, the urge to say something-to do more… "Your father…is he really a pirate? Would he run from conflict?" In a blink, Ussop's eyes sharpened, his decision made before he spoke!

Ussop breathed out heavily before looking up. "My father may be a pirate… I may have never met him…but every day I know he's sailing out there makes me proud! One day, I will follow in his footsteps and become a brave warrior of the sea just like him! That is something I'll never lie about!"


A/N: FYI, I do occasionally update my profile page. If you have the time, show it some love and drop by! Tune in next time, when Hook and friends take on Kuro of a Thousand Plans! (Such an awkward epithet...)