Re-edited on 7/4/22


Chapter 7: Unleash the Armory!

It took until sundown, but Ussop came up with a plan – one which nobody was allowed to see, not even Nami, until it was done. He laid out a diagram on his table (nudging Silk's feet off his table) and began explaining. "So, where Kuro and the other guy-"

"Jango," Hook offered helpfully.

"-were meeting has to be where the attack is coming. The slope is the only route to the village. Everywhere else is just sheer cliffs."

Hook frowned at that; something didn't sit right with him with that conclusion... "I'm... pretty sure we landed on the other side of the island. They could potentially attack from there too, right?"

A pause followed, then Nami lightly smacked her forehead, while Silk pounded her fist into her hand. "Of course/Oh right!"

Ussop laughed. "Yes, of course, they could…" He paused before straight up panicking! "Crap! If they're attacking from both sides…!"

Nami flicked his nose. "Just calming you down," she answered toward the grumbling planner. "We just set up traps and sentries at both slopes. Easy!"

Ussop jabbed back, "No, it's not! I have enough oil and jacks for one side! Either trap could go on either slope, but which one makes sense!? Plus, which two would go to which slope!?"

"Ussop, breathe," Hook soothed Ussop as the teen took charge, tapping the map. "I'll take watch at the other slope. As for the traps… the oil will do. We can get through this – just keep calm." Ussop took a deep breath and exhaled, relaxing a little.

Nami snapped for attention. "Okay, that's great and all, but unless you want to fight an entire cutthroat crew yourself…" Nami's words died in her throat at the creepy smirk that crossed his face.

Silk lightly bopped him on the forehead. "I know that look! You are not doing that!" Unphased, Hook only shrugged.

"…Who else is going to be there with you?" Nami continued.

"Well," Silk cut in, "I'm gonna go to the other slope. In case they do attack the slope we saw them at, we don't want to put our strongest fighters in one spot."

"Good point, Silk," the Comboman conceded, the small compliment making Silk grin like a kid in a toy store.

"Right! The most awesome ones have to have each other's backs!" She pumped a fist before sharing a high five with Hook, Ussop still seemed to be processing the last comment.

"Eh? Strongest? But you're as skinny as-" He instinctively clapped his lips together when raw killing intent daring him to finish that sentence hit the room in waves. "…a-as we were discussing who's standing where, I'd b-better stay with Hook-"

"Well," Nami gained a thoughtful expression, "that still leaves us with one problem…"

Ussop, not even looking in that corner of the room, turned to Nami. "Uh, what problem?"

"Tactically speaking, we need to signal the other group, and me and Silk can't do that," Nami explained.

"Oh! I didn't even think of that!" Sunny Silk returned with vengeance! "That's amazing, Red-"

"AND STOP CALLING ME RED!" With Demon Teeth Nami closely following!

"O-okay," Ussop, though afraid of rapidly mood-changing women, chose to move on. "But I can just give you one of my spare slingshots?"

"Slingshot?" Hook questioned with a puzzled expression. "Is that how you fight?"

Ussop held his head high. "That's right! I'm a sniper, and damn good, too!"

Hook smirked at the self-proclaimed sniper. "Good. Then I'll expect nothing but the best, Ussop."

Ussop blinked at the earnest tone but covered his surprise with a cocky grin. "W-well, of course! The best in East Blue! I wouldn't even miss on a windy day!" He began to head for the door. "Let's be off! We got hell to drop on some bastards!"

Chuckling, Hook shook his head at the teen's antics. 'This guy's scared stiff if his shaking legs are anything to go by, but that compliment should keep him going for a good long while. Manipulative, sure, but helpful all the same.'


No time for sleep, Hook and Ussop split from the girls and carried the barrels of oil under the cover of night. Naturally, the pair worked quickly and quietly; not a single person in the village, and certainly not Kuro, could know of what countermeasures were being made to defend this docile place. As they arrived at their chosen slope and looked down to see the dinghies, floating peacefully in the drink, a thought came to Hook's head. As he began to head down the slope, Ussop stopped him. "Hey, wait a minute! Maybe you weren't paying attention, but the pirates are attacking at dawn! It's almost sunrise, and there's no way you can get back up the slope in time! I might have to pour the oil down while you're still down there!"

Pausing, the Comboman thought about that for a moment. "That's fine," was what he settled on.

Ussop looked taken aback at the casual attitude of facing a crew of bloodthirsty pirates. "W-what!?"

In response, the seemingly relaxed teen fixed the sniper with a determined look. "The oil's good for slowing them down, but do you really think they'll just go home? That Kuro is going to give up a three-year plan?" He stepped forward and placed a hand on Ussop's shoulder. "This is gonna end one of two ways – we put 'em in the ground, or it's goodbye Syrup Village." Blinking, Ussop grew silent as he digested that before Hook offered him a fist. "Same day as always?"

Ussop focused back to the now, noticed the fist, and finally, a determined look on his own face, tapped it in kind with his own. "Like nothing bad ever happened." With that, Hook sprinted down the slope, Ussop laying out the oil for the trap. As the first rays of sun greet the teen's skin, he made it to the ships.

"Consume!" Despite having never absorbed so much square footage before, Hook was able to take in both boats with little stamina due to their lack of density compared to weapons like the mace and cannon. As he stood at the foot of the slope, with the sun steadily rising, he spotted a ship over the horizon. Flexing his fingers, the teen thought back to Jango and Kuro's plan… 'That glare from earlier... he's not an ordinary guy for sure! I can only assume if Kuro knows that other weirdo, he's probably plenty strong too. Just like Big Nose's guys, if there are two high-level pirates involved, there may even be more… That won't stop me! If things are gonna get rougher, it's time to kick it up a notch!'

The moment the black cat figurehead touched the shore, the men jumped out in droves! There had to be at least 50 of them standing there, ready to pillage an unaware town! The men looked over at Hook nonplussed, probably because they were expecting nobody to be out here. "Hey! Why the hell ain't you charging!" The crowd parted for the moonwalking weirdo from earlier, who spun around to finally notice somebody in the way. "Huh!? Who are you, and why are you here!?"

Getting a little excited, Hook gave the group a feral grin, making a few morons step back. "I'm your last warning. Leave now, and live to see another day. You take one step forward…" For emphasis, the teen cracked his knuckles. "-your asses are officially my new chew toys!" While the sheer conviction in his voice worried a few of them, Jango only laughed at the act of intimidation.

"You call that terrifying, you brat!? Watch this." He turned to the thugs. "You guys remember Kuro, right? He might not have sailed for three years; we haven't seen him fight in forever! But yesterday, I saw proof he hasn't lost a step!" He then shot Hook a shit-eating grin over his shoulder before saying, "He still adjusts his glasses the same." It wasn't said loudly, but it rippled through the crowd, apparently steeling their nerves for a fight. How adjusting his glasses was the least bit motivating was unfathomable, but ready or not…

"Signal Star!"

"Run him through, mateys!"

"Yarhar!"

…The time for talk had ended!

Focusing on both arms, Hook focused on summoning the material of the Iron Mace, instead of the whole thing. Just as the first three Mooks tried to attack, the young man raised his arm…and blocked the strike with new arms made of iron, tipped with fists covered in spikes! They were a little big and a lot heavier than he had expected, but this was way more sustained than his usual 'hit it and quit it' attacks. With a growl, he pushed his first attacker back and laid a haymaker on him that sent him sprawling. "Iron…" Hook then batted away a second blade, before retaliating with an uppercut, and finishing the third assailant with a jab to the face that sent a tooth flying! "…Boxing!"

Another five charged forward, screaming the whole time, which, as two of their number learned, was a bad idea. "Sure Kill Tabasco Star!" There was maybe a second to perceive what was said before two pellets flew into two open mouths; they stopped long enough to grab the throats and cry "Water!" before Hook laid into them. Smirking at the support, Hook delivered an uppercut to one thug, blowing him into the air –"Lead Star!" – and he was out cold before he came down. One idiot tried to jump Hook from behind – "Egg Star!" – and had to drop his weapon, scrambling to get the rotten mess off of him; Hook flattened him like a pancake!

At this point, Jango was justifiably livid! "What the hell is this kid!? Enough of this bullshit!" Whipping out a…metal ring on a string, he swung it back and forth. "Hey, Iron asshole! When I say 'one, two, Jango' you will fall asleep!"

Hook looked at the man like he was an idiot. "What the hell are you swinging that stupid thing for?"

"One…"

"And why would I fall asleep!?"

"Two…"

"I'm having a blast kicking all your men's –"

"Jango!"

The moment Jango whipped out his chakram, Ussop covered his eyes and ducked. He read about those things before – with deadly accuracy, they could lop off his head easily! Instead, he heard Jango count, then a thud from the bottom ridge. 'He…couldn't have killed Hook…right?' The sniper tentatively opened his eyes…to see Hook had in fact fallen on the field, his arms changing back to normal. "Ahhh! Hook! What happened!? Are you…wait, are you snoring!?"

The pirates, the still conscious ones, cheered! "That's our Jango! With his tricks, no one can stand against us!" Jango's tricks!? Whatever the hell his tricks do, Ussop counted himself lucky to have missed it! Focusing back on the battlefield, he saw they were moving around Hook to climb the slope…well, try to climb. The oil did its trick and made it impossible for them to get traction! "Oi, Jango! The oil's too slippery! What are we…huh?" The man looked at his boss fast asleep on his feet. "Oi, boss! This ain't no place to be resting! Wake up!" With a smack upside his ugly head, Jango started awake!

"Huh – wha?" He looked around before grasping the situation. "Use swords, handholds – each other if you have to! Kuro wants his plan finished yesterday!" With that, several members were actually used as human ladders to cross the oil!

"Shit!" Ussop's knees beat together the rhythm of his nervous heartbeat! "What do I do! I have no backup! Hook couldn't take them all out! The oil isn't even slowing them down! What do I-"

'The oil's good for slowing them down, but do you really think they'll just go home?'

"E-eh?"

'This is gonna end one of two ways – we put 'em in the ground, or it's goodbye Syrup Village.'

Ussop eyes shot over to Hook's prone form, then back to the horde ¾ past his traps. He swallowed his fear, steadied his knees, and pointed to the sky. "Pirates! This is your last warning!" All eyes were on him, as he spoke his piece still posing like he imagined a brave warrior would stand. "If you leave right now, I'll forgive you this once! Cross any further, and my loyal followers will crush you!"

For a shining moment, the entire battlefield froze. Jango gulped worriedly. "W-wha! Loyal followers!? Where!?" The man who woke him up massaged his face in exasperation.

"He's clearly lying! There was just this guy!" With that kick in the ass, the men started moving again, a few even close to the top!

"Alright! You asked for it!" Ussop yelled as he prepared a shot. He took a breath and held it to block out all distractions…he aimed carefully…and fired his shot…right at Hook! More specifically, his open mouth. "Okay! One Tabasco Star in the hole-" Unfortunately, Ussop had been a bit too good in isolating his goal; if he had been checking his surroundings, he would have noticed the hulking brute with a hammer far before he could have come close enough to whop him one! It was through bleary eyes Ussop watched as at least ten pirates, with three more pulling up two other comrades, began the charge down the road. 'The village…Carrot…Onion…Pepper…Kaya…no…'

"Mighty Push!" He barely closed his eyes, when a gust of wind followed by screams flying over his head woke him up! "Whew! That was a brisk run! Good thing you knew where we were heading, Red!"

A sound smack, punctuated with the groaning fall of a man, reintroduced the other teammate he had been waiting for. "Honestly, you're hopeless. U-Ussop! Are you okay!?" He blinked as he was sat up, Nami checking on him. "My God, how are you still alive!?"

Ussop, a little concussed, grinned like a loon. "I'm amazing, that's why! Hey, there's a blue pouch in my bag, could you get it for me!" Nami blinked at his disjointed tone, before digging in the bag and finding the pouch. Opening it, the smell was enough for her and Silk to grab their noses, and wake Ussop up completely! "Whoa! Okay! Let's tear these bastards a new one!" He jumped up heedless of his injury.

Silk tried to wave the smell away with Dorado, her other hand pinching her nostrils shut. "What on earth is that smell!?"

"Something I made once by accident! The smell can really wake you up, right! Woo! Who wants to go!"

The pirates, who had all been knocked back down the slope, were both shocked and worried. "H-he wasn't lying! He really did have powerful followers!"

Jango tore out his hair at the downturn of events! "Are you fucking kidding me!? The oil, the bitches, what else can go-"

FOOSH! "HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT! WATER!" As if Murphy himself wanted this day to go badly for the Black Cat Pirates, their previous nuisance just jumped up practically spitting flames!

"Why! The hell! Is my mouth! On fire!? Who did this!? Why do this! I swear, someone will-" In his frenzied state, James Hook barely registered the fighting around him, as a certain blonde fought her way over. – "Get me a drink! Where the hell is the ocean!? Anything – anything has got to be better than-!" Finally, a white carton was shoved to the screaming man's lips, and a cool liquid slid down his throat. 'Thank God! Felt like I ate lava!'

Taking his first breaths of non-burning air, Hook looked over to Silk holding an empty carton of milk. "Ok! You look better now! Ussop says sorry about that – he was trying to wake you up."

A vindictive smile came upon the man's face, causing a few Black Cats to shiver in fear. 'Ussop did that, huh? Right after this is over, he is gonna – wait, why was I even asleep?' Silk nodded over to Jango, answering Hook's thoughts. "Ussop says that ring put you to sleep. Nami calls it hypnotism; just don't look at the ring, we'll be good."

"Okay-" is about all he had time to say before the last 25 uninjured pirates attacked!

"Silk! Cover me!" As Hook's arms went into Summon mode, Silk, who had reformed Dorado into its rough shield form, was blocking anyone who tried to attack him. 'Let's see... can I fuse the Iron Mace and the cannon too?' By the time Silk had reformed Dorado back into its ax form to Mighty Push about seven or eight into the cliffside, Hook was successful in summoning both Weapons… but their combined weight immediately brought both his arms crashing to the ground!

This left him a sitting duck for the Black Cat ijits previously knocked out, but were up and ready for another round. One of them took a single step... and his head was engulfed in an explosion! As many of the sheep fell back, either covering the vulnerable areas or getting knocked the frick out by 'Lead Stars,' it was pretty clear that Ussop was in fine spirits-'Good Lord!' Hook exclaimed in his thoughts. 'He's bleeding from his head! What the hell happened while I was out!?'

Despite blood in his eyes, any target the sniper aimed at, he hit dead-on! And while there were pirates trying to attack him ('And they found a way past the oil already-how long was I out for?), Nami was knocking them right back down, occasionally throwing caltrops at them.

"Geez, everyone's really giving their all," Hook smiled at that, even as Silk had to kick a guy in the groin who tried to shoot him in the head. "Well, I don't wanna let them down! Let's make this work! Just a little more…"


Jango was gritting his teeth in frustration- hell, he just heard one of his crowns cracked!-at the right awful display the crew was putting on! This beating might be just as bad as when Kuro retired and left him the crew! "Alright! That's it! There is no way children are keeping us from tearing this damn island apart! Mateys, look this way!" He whipped out his damned ring as all his men looked at him. "When I say 'one-two-Jango' you'll become superhumanly strong, your wounds healed! You'll only get-"

Whatever else he was going to say was cut off as he – like everyone – looked toward the sounds of shifting metal grinding and forming together…the clanking that may very well be the end of this conflict. Silk's eyes glowed like stars. Ussop was whooping something like 'mecha.' Nami…was unmoved. The Black Cats gulped, and Jango bit his damn jaw.

As black and gold dimmed, where Hook had been kneeling, what could only be described as a metal demon was now rising to its feet. On one arm, slung over its shoulder, was a compact form of an Iron Mace, while the other arm resembled a miniaturized cannon. Their point of connection to the creature's body was marked by the black and gold lines meeting at its shoulders. With a deep sigh, the thing released steam from his mouth, scanning the crowd of terrified pirates before speaking out in a slightly warped voice of Jango's newest headache, James Hook. "Clank-Clank Armory…Iron Riot."

The being now identified as Hook took a step forward, the ground cracking where he stepped. 'I feel...heavy. These Weapons are more compact, but all the weight is still here. But, this feels like it's more part of me than before. Yeah...I can work with this!' Hook took another step, but before he could do anything else, one brave schmuck ran up and hit him with a hammer!

The pirate laughed when he saw some blood dripping from Hook's new head wound. "Ha ha! Come on, guys! We can still hurt him-" His voice gave out as Hook looked up at him like he hadn't felt the hit. In fact, Hook's main focus was on the hammer, as he glanced at it, then at Ussop, before settling his gaze on the rightly scared thug. "I'm sorry?"

Hook seemed to mull it over for a moment…and replied, "Not accepted," before punching him hard enough to send the poor bastard in an arc over the boat and into the water…at least a mile from shore. Hook's furious glare sharpened as he yelled, "YOUR FREE TRIAL OF MERCY JUST EXPIRED!" And with that, the battlefield exploded into motion.

Wounded or not, every pirate was now running for the slopes. Unfortunately, Hook was in their way, so whoever was stupid enough to try to attack him was knocked either into the galleon or over it! Some were smart enough to go around the biggest obstacle – edging up the sides of the slope, where it was least likely to make them slide down. This only bottlenecked them, leaving them little place to go; on one side, Ussop was hitting them with explosions to the chest, or hot sauce to the eye, with Nami on the other, going for groin and instep strikes while fighting back a catty smirk the whole time.

As for Silk…she was gibbering away like a madwoman, while whaling on the morons who thought attacking her captain's back as they fell down the slope was a good idea. She was so energized that she failed to notice that her ax was heating up, and burning whoever she hit! When about 15 of them got up to strike the pair, without so much as slowing, she extended the handle, and spun in one place to knock them all flying!

Still ready to fight, Hook turned to find his next victim…and realized there was no one left standing. As the town's impromptu defenders looked around, there wasn't a soul enemy pirate standing, save for Jango who was frantically looking at all the wounded. "J-Jango…help…" one crewman pleaded.

That was enough to spur the man into action, fumbling for his chakram, he quickly recounted, "W-when I say 'one-two-Jango,' you'll be twice as strong and uninjured-"

Silk wasted no time, as she used her ax-turned-halberd as a pole vault, and slammed feet first onto Jango's head! Besides breaking his glasses, he has no other external damage, but it's very likely he's out of commission. Silk exhaled and wiped her forehead of sweat, before giving a thumbs-up to the others. "Okay! We beat 'em all!"

"You beat who all?" Hook and company looked around to see who made the remark.

"You beat us all?" said a different voice just as annoying as the first, and just as invisible apparently.

All the barely conscious pirates began snickering for some reason. "Ha. The ship guards are getting involved," one hoarsely whispered. "You guys are dead now…"

"Huh?" Nami remarked. "The ship guards?"

Hook and the others followed Nami's direction and looked toward the ship as an unusual routine began. "Hey, the captain's down!"

"What!? You mean they aren't at the village yet?"

"Look! They beat up everyone!"

"Looks likes trouble. Shall we?" There was silence, then two figures jumped off the boat, crying in unison, "We shall!" The first thing one would call the pair was... very interesting; there was the skinny one ("Siam here – ready to serve!") and the larger one ("Call me Butchie."), and both were dressed…very cat-like, complete with claws on their gloves.

"Egad! Butchie, look!" Siam moaned as he looked at the destruction. "Our poor crew! Waylaid like gutter trash!"

Butchie carefully scratched his expansive stomach and looked across the shore before the slope to see Hook. They paid no mind to Silk standing right next to their crushed captain since they had jumped past her and hadn't turned around. "He must have done them all in, Siam," Butchie commented. They both paused to look at Hook, who fixed a caustic glare back. "W-we can't fight him!" They both cried while cringing. "He's too scary!"

Hook blinked at the duo's shenanigans. 'These assholes can't be for real-!' Groaning in pain, Hook curled into himself as his whole world shifted! In seconds, he had collapsed to his knees before sliding into blissful unawareness…


A/N: One rewrite down, way more to go!