Chapter 46: Undeniably a Threat
Perspective: Astro
As I turn the corner into the officers' quarters, my mood is a dangerous cocktail of contempt and stress. Kay has me running messages and checking on Lucy's admin work and for a split-second I actually miss having Cossack around - normally Kay would delegate all that to him. So far today I have run four complete circuits of the Shelter, which is bigger than you'd think. Thankfully, he's reduced my training obligations so I can focus on this sort of work, backdoor strategising and being present for every lesson Warnado undergoes.
Unfortunately, Shadow's little 'coven' is making that last task a little more difficult. Normally she is polite and helpful enough, but if she can't be immediately found I am bounced from acolyte to acolyte. Since the Battle of the Hill the mages have been forming an ever-closer circle around Shadow. They suffered proportionally fewer casualties than everyone else and, while we hushed up the Void-form incident as best we could among the ranks, a lot of the mages sensed it. When your commanding officer can go toe-to-toe with the Entity, you take notice. And so, Shadow's mages had effectively become an army within the army, taking cues from the 'Master' herself before even contemplating bending the knee for Kay or Tyron.
Some, like Iridia, have taken this respect for Shadow's capability to an almost spiritual reverence. And, unfortunately, she's one of the few who ever seems to know where Shadow is perhaps by force of sheer obsession. I was hoping I might get some information from Pallas or Talita, usually more moderate, but they had been busy training the novices. So, I'd tried to get a straight answer from Iridia, who deflected as though I were a malignant inquisitor seeking to arrest and execute Shadow. Then again, the way Kay glowers when we discuss them…
I've tried to reassure him that they're probably not an internal security threat, but days like today make me wonder if there really is something to worry about. I just wanted to know if Warnado had had a lesson with Shadow - he hadn't, he stepped in to ask about having a lesson today. We are going to have one in about an hour. It took me twenty minutes to get that much information from Iridia and I still don't know what the topic is he wants to discuss. Great.
As such, when I turn the corner and come face to face with the Master herself, I'm simultaneously plunged further into irritation and a little relieved that I might be able to get some clarity.
She's standing outside Rose's room, looking at me. Her white hair lies still, and her skin is the normal shade of coal-black, but I can't help watching the air around her. Her aura is still off, still setting off some scrap of my brain which contains the fight-or-flight mechanism. I set both options aside with some difficulty and approach.
"Hello Shadow…" I see Rose's door is open and am confused by the contents. "Sorry you, Rose, good to - to see you… Is there something different about you?"
Rose's room is covered in blade-scratches, which is impressive as it's completely made of stone. The furniture is destroyed. A glass jar with a few yellow grains in it lies shattered in the room's centre.
And, of course, my question is stupid as Rose is obviously different. It's just hard to pin down how. She still has shoulder-length black hair, brown eyes, elegant dark clothing and she's still hiding an arsenal of knives everywhere she can… What's changed?
"Hello Astro," says Rose with a wry smile. "Notice anything?"
It's odd to say this but she looked sharper. Physically sharper. Each strand of hair looks like a blade, her gaze like a pair of daggers. When I look away and only see her in the corner of my eye, her shape seems to change a little. She becomes narrower, more angular, like a continuous razor. I want to put her in a drawer so children can't get at her.
"This isn't that upgrade you were talking about, is it?" I ask warily.
"This is exactly it. Only took digging up some special ingredients from some ruins and destroying all of my furniture."
"Very good," I say awkwardly. "But… what did you do?"
I lean against the doorframe and shoot Shadow a 'give me just a second' look. I'm pretty sure she smirks.
"You see," Rose begins. "So far, the only supernatural dedication I had was to the aspect of artifice, destruction and various other related concepts, that's why I can create blades from thin air. My killing prowess was natural so to speak. This ritual established a major dedication to the aspect of various flavors of murder and general violence.
"I communed with one of its highest beings and called in some favors my old master had negotiated with it. So, here I am. Kay won't have to worry about mundane assassinations from now on and I'm confident I can deal with most supernatural ones too."
"Excellent," says a voice from behind Shadow. "Mundane assassination attempts are by far my least favourite."
Kay strides into view.
"Would you have time for a demonstration in the training room?" he asks confidently. "I believe Astro and Shadow have a lesson to prepare for."
"Gladly," Rose says, demonstratively materializing a knife in her hand.
"Perfect! With me."
And with that, he strides off, Rose following closely and immediately. And so, I'm left with Shadow. I brace myself, promise I won't try to fight her or break down and reveal all my secrets again.
"Well," I begin. "What's the topic of today's lesson?"
Shadow says: "Sorry about Iridia, first of all. But for the lesson? I was thinking about checking Warnado's progress, we haven't really had a formal lesson in a few days, but he's been training on his own or with Tyron. We should probably see how he's improved."
"Yes, flying, demonic summoning, item summoning et cetera…"
I say it all in a facade of professionalism, voice modulated and deep. Little emotion. Then I realise how little I have to say and force myself to add more. I see an opportunity to vent some frustration.
"And yes, tell Iridia to give a straight answer in future," I continue. "She is under your command, but you are under Kay's."
Shadow sighed and nodded slowly. "Astro, can we speak privately?"
"Are we not alone right now?" I say densely.
"We might be, but some of my scryers could reasonably listen. A little hypocritical, I know. I have a way to ensure nobody can hear us if you're up for it."
She slowly raises up her hand in a manner that seems terribly familiar. Reality unknits and opens up as she moves her fingers downward, leaving a rift in the middle of the corridor tall enough for me to step into. It's a pocket dimension. I sigh and step in.
I see a black-and-white space filled with simplistic furniture. Not simplistic as in sparse. I mean simplistic as in, basic geometric shapes. Sharp lines, few edges, right angles. I look down and my arm is affected by this place's strange hue, appearing all black other than a white outline. I sit down on one of the chairs and look at Shadow. She has acquired the same hue, except for her eyes, which were their usual red. I don't bother to question why. It's her dimension, her aesthetic.
"So, what do we want to talk privately about?" I grunt as politely as I can muster.
Shadow points directly at me. "One thing is how you can be here without having your head explode from pain. Remember when I theorized that a second void exposure could acclimatize you? It seems that is what happened. Other things… this whole situation. Ever since Fire is gone, I don't really have anyone I can talk with and considering our history, you are the one here I trust most."
That is… a lot. I concede I'm pretty thoroughly disarmed by this vulnerability. I feel my anger shrink away a bit and I try to manifest some sympathy. I'm still wary, but I'm not heartless.
"Um… yes, my head is feeling much better. Thanks for asking. It stopped when you entered your Void-state, actually."
I pause and reflect on this. It hadn't even occurred to me that this pocket dimension was Void-born. I fight the urge to try and figure out how we're not burning away and try to attend to the second half of her statement.
"And, yes, I'm here to listen if you need to talk about your brother's situation..."
I read somewhere that we mortals like to dress death up in euphemism. Someone isn't dead, they're "in a better place". They haven't died, they've "passed onwards". Back then I was a scholar with little experience of the world, and I'd dismissed it. I now realise how true it is. Fire is as good as dead. I cannot conceive of a way of saving him. Why am I dancing around the point of it?
"I am no stranger to grief," I continue less ambiguously. "I understand how hard this must be."
My mind drifts to the icy fields of Acrisius, where tens of thousands of men lie dead. Many of them are my friends. I think upon the small coterie of old allies who are there to help me. Do they know I'm still alive? Are they grieving? I hope not, they've had their fill recently.
"I've never really lost anyone before, not like this. But then again, there is nobody else who I care so much about. I know Fire has lost people and now I know how he felt back then, it's what made him so determined not to lose me too. Everything he's done for me, all the sacrifices he's made. It's why I didn't ever want to lose him, not just because he's a great brother but also because I feel that in a way, I owe him." She paused. "And we talked about this at some point, also because I'm afraid of what it would mean for me."
I feel reservations creep back in. Her vulnerability suddenly seems as much like a threat as a point of sympathy.
"Yes, about you potentially shredding Nexus down to atoms in an act of uncontrollable vengeance. I recall."
Shadow leans back in her chair, clearly not in relaxation. "You know the worst part? I don't even know for sure whether losing Fire was a direct cause in my transformation back at the hill. It could have happened because I thought it would. Maybe a bit of both. But I can feel that it changed me. I can see more than I could before, for instance I can see the Book's pocket dimension from here, not into it, just see that it's there. I also sometimes get glimpses of what I think are worlds close to Nexus."
She falls silent for a few seconds. "No, you know the actual worst part? I can't stop seeing or listening anymore, at least not immediately around me. It's quite scary to be honest. Maybe a sign of things to come."
I sit silent for a few moments. I try to separate confidence from potentially important intelligence. It's impossible. I'm going to be reporting this girl's insecurities and struggles right back to Kay. I feel like shit.
"I'm sorry, I had no idea," I say flatly. "I always assumed you were just being nosy with the eavesdropping."
Shadow laughed. "I definitely was before. I did try not to intrude, but now I have no choice."
"Again, my apologies." And then, because I can't get it out of my head: "And you're still in control of your other abilities?"
"No random disintegration rays will be perforating the Shelter any time soon. It seems that anything that's purely my normal magic has remained where it was."
"And your void magic?" I ask with an air of defeat. To make myself feel less awful, I add: "If you feel comfortable discussing it, that is. I'll have to report any developments on that front back to Kay."
I look at her with a fearful apology tinting my eyes. I am in the palm of her hand. She could crush me if she wished.
Shadow contemplates. "So far, it's actually gotten better. I'll need to look into why exactly my passive awareness is acting up but nothing else is."
I nod perhaps a little excessively. Mentioning Kay aloud has set a whole other wheel of anxieties in motion.
"What did he say to you back there? I remember he wanted to talk to you about that."
"He mostly wanted to know how it works, or how I work in general. The issue is that currently I don't have an answer to those questions. He just kept asking and asking. I ended up having to resort to arcanobabble so complex that he couldn't ask follow-up questions, not even with the Book whispering in his ear." She sighed. "Other than that, the conversation was alright. Anything else he's doing… I can understand why he'd treat me the way he does, for Urist I can also see the reasoning, but why Jen and Lucy? Especially Lucy, she's in charge of our damn logistics and I don't think 'betrayal' is even a word in her vocabulary!"
I weigh my words carefully because I know full well why he's done all those things, or at least I think I do. At this age, Kay would justify it under terms like "keeping a robust inner circle" or "choosing people I get on with" or "reminding everyone of the chain of command", and I'm still not sure if he believes that. He seemed much more instinctive than calculating back then, but maybe I just didn't know him that well.
The Kay he grew into would have excluded Lucy for much more concrete reasons. Because Fire literally picked her out of a crowd and made her head of logistics. Because she has no particular obligation to Kay. Because he has nothing, he can use to ensure her complete loyalty to him.
The Kay he grew into also would have arbitrarily chosen Steve or Jennifer as a matter of dividing and conquering potential opposition. They're a unit. If Jennifer's not in the room, Steve will be less decisive or at least less able to justify his choices. He might miss something she would call Kay up on.
And as for Shadow, that's simple. No matter how far down the path to tyranny he was, Kay always understood the threat of a credible opposition. Both Kays consider her Fire's heir. She's a contender to the throne. If his leadership falters, people are most likely to run to her in search of a replacement. And, if the coven was any indication, Kay's concerns were entirely justified. By keeping Shadow at arm's length, he could claim she was just annoyed about her loss of influence. Claim she was engaging in factionalism. Forming a cult of personality.
"I wouldn't worry about it too much," I lie. "He's spooked by the void-state's power, because he was already uncomfortable about Fire being stronger than him. Now he's discovered there's someone even more powerful. Lucy, he distrusts because he didn't pick her, so he gets me to read over every dull detail to make sure she hasn't missed anything. Jennifer's an arbitrary thing." In my best impression of his faux-posh accent, I add: "'Why even have an inner circle if everyone's going to be part of it?' He can be petty like that. Generally, it's just his way of feeling in control - choosing people he gets on with."
I almost believe it myself. I pray she's deceived.
Shadow shakes her head. "I've seen enough politics in my time as Rockhaven's archmage to know it's never that clear-cut. If politics is one thing, it's personal. But never mind all that."
I manage to stop myself from sighing and feel an urgent desire to leave. I don't think she's going to pursue me much further, but I don't want to risk it. I look around for a clock.
"What time is it?" I ask hurriedly. "We have a lesson to get to."
"In outside time, it's been a minute. Inside-time, it's been longer. If there is anything else you want to talk about first, we have time."
I know I'm going to regret this, but I might as well ask.
"What's the deal with the coven? We wouldn't be half as suspicious if it didn't look like you were forming your own loyalist faction."
Shadow leans forward and supports her forehead with her hand. "That's the problem. I didn't, they did."
I cock an eyebrow.
"They just started ignoring instructions from us on their own, then?"
"Something like that, I know they always respected me but after the battle it reached a whole new level, it's almost like worship. I hadn't even been back from fighting the Entity and they were already emulating my robes. Started referring to me as 'master' exclusively." Shadow laughed. "They will follow any order I give them, except for the ones that make them stop or listen to you. Regarding those, they pick and choose, sometimes add their own interpretations."
She seems dead serious, yet all I can think is, "How awfully convenient?"
"I'll relay that to Kay," I say neutrally. Then, my tone sliding head-first into acidity: "I'm sure the involuntary nature of your cult will calm him right down. Of course, within a week he'll probably be lining up to kiss your feet as well. I'll save him a spot in line. Where do we get the stylish robes? I do hope they're not too much of a hassle for you to source."
I sneer grotesquely and stand up. I walk over to the entrance and turn back. She looks destroyed. Mouth agape. Red eyes wide and defenseless.
I feel terrible, but she can't just drop something like that on us. Another potential threat.
"Shadow," I say. "I'm sorry about your brother. I'm sorry your powers are acting up. I'm sorry you're scared and alone. But telling us you don't know why they're becoming more and more unknowable and potentially dangerous does not resolve the situation. Nor does antagonising Kay in front of the entire leadership. You feel alone because you chose to stand alone. Now you have to live with that."
I turn away from her shattered face.
"I need a walk. If you're feeling up to it, I'll see you at the lesson. If not, I'll improvise. And sort out your bloody cult, I don't suit full robes."
I step out and march away. The colours of the world shine back into view, and I want to believe that's why my eyes are watering so much.
