Chapter 47: Cracking Under the Pressure

Perspective: Shadow


The rift closed after Astro and Shadow was alone in her pocket dimension. She felt shattered, angry and betrayed. She had regarded Astro as a friend, or something close to it at least. But now he just… Shadow thought he too was against the way Kay ran things, especially in the light of what would become of him. Sure, the coven looked very convenient to an outside observer but everything she had said about it was the truth.

Shadow's hands started trembling again, something that happened more frequently in recent days. It was as if she was losing her grip on her physical body. With a cry of frustration Shadow cast off her shell and became one with her Void magic again. It was easier compared to when she had done it at the hill, more intuitive. However, the feeling of distance and emptiness was also nowhere near what she had experienced, but every bit helped. Shadow's emotions now only felt like an echo of their former intensity.

Just barely outside of her pocket dimension was the outermost layer of energy that surrounded Nexus, somewhere off in the distance she saw another small bubble, where the Book lived. Giving the Book to Kay had been a mistake but now it was too late to fix it, Kay was already at the top and if Shadow tried anything to take it from him it would look like an attempt at usurpation.

Shadow shook her head, sending ripples through the fabric of reality. She needed to turn to the problems she could actually fix. Her coven was most likely on that short list. When her mages started imitating her, worshiping her, Shadow had been at a loss, felt overwhelmed. She was used to leadership and being looked up to, but not in this way. Back in Rockhaven when she had been Archmage, the other guild members had only seen her as what she had been, an elected leader and accomplished mage, holder of an official job. Now, she was regarded as a deity almost. Shadow was not comfortable with this idea, especially since it reminded her of what she feared she could become.

Still, something had to be done. She couldn't let her mages go around antagonizing anyone who asked questions. Astro had been right, she needed to get them under her control somehow. She needed to assume the position of a proper cult leader, as backwards as that was. Fire would have been great at this, most of the untouchableness and mystique that shrouded the Mencur-Besh in their world was his doing. He would have had no problem making these mages wax in his hands, if only because it was what he had to do. But Shadow was not like her brother, at least not in that regard. However, all those millennia they had spent did not count for nothing. Shadow had seen enough to at least closely emulate her brother's way of doing things. It wouldn't be easy, especially not in the emotional state she would return to once she reformed her body.

Shadow extended her senses into Nexus, looking at all the happenings in the shelter, quickly locating an almost empty training room the coven had set up. In it stood Warnado, with Astro just coming in through the door in slow-motion. Shadow did the closest thing to taking a deep breath she could do in her current form, then readied herself to re-enter Nexus.

She emerged from between worlds just to the side of the door, deliberately out of sight. Most of her dedicated mages had already caught a glimpse of her void form and it had only intensified their cultish behavior, Shadow wanted to prevent any additional exposures if possible.

Her emotions hit her as soon as she had fully entered Nexus. Shadow grit her teeth, now was not the time, there was no need to make Warnado more uncomfortable than he already was. Her apprentice was perhaps one of the few blameless parties in this entire affair and he was suffering for it, seeing his companions turned against each other in addition to the apparent trauma he had suffered from his confrontation with Glibby.

As she entered the room, she forced herself to have at least a neutral tone: "Hope I'm not late, just had to take care of a few things in the pocket dimension."

Astro flinched at the sound of her voice but immediately recovered.

"No, not much," he explained. "Our golden boy was just about to show us a few of the techniques we've taught him."

He clapped Warnado on the shoulder, and the quarter-demon noticeably flinched. Astro was putting up an unconvincingly jovial smile. Kay still had plans to bring him back to their world, so he had told Astro to try and form a bond. It was not going as planned, especially with previous "fumbles" in mind.

"How about some levitation... champ?"

Warnado promptly floated up until he touched the ceiling, then drifted back down.

"Great work, kid," he said with another unconvincing slap on the shoulder. "How about some…"

And a few more exercises followed. Warnado really had made a lot of progress, as advertised. Not only had he learned how to consistently do the techniques they had taught him, but he also showed off a couple of his own spells, including a volatile shield that would block a hit and then blow up in the attacker's face. Evidently a direct answer to Glibby's combat style.

Shadow could tell after that, however, that Astro was struggling to justify his continued guidance of the lesson. Thankfully, he found a good improvising tool in Warnado's ability to summon ethereal weapons. He gave increasingly intricate and outlandish instructions at an increasingly rapid pace. The task was clearly stressful for Warnado, but it was perhaps the closest he got to eliciting a positive response from the child. Until...

"An exact replica of your gauntlet on my right hand," he instructed.

And it appeared. He smiled and examined the gauntlet. Warnado smiled back with a certain pride in his craftsmanship.

"Now, kiddo," said Astro, considerably emboldened. "How about we revisit the demon magics after our…" His face sank as he saw Warnado's reaction shift. "Prolonged recess? Champ?"

The child was not angry, but there was a rarely seen disdain in his eyes. Not dissimilar in tone to one of Kay's more measured putdowns, Warnado began:

"Okay, I've been just about tolerating the 'coach dad' act because - y'know - it's a stressful time, and everyone needs an outlet. If you want to be a little weird and pretend, we're best buds and you're this great, supportive mentor, fine. Kay's probably pushing you to do it, and he's being a little weird at the moment too. But I'm not going to sit here as you make the same dumb mistake twice. You tried to guide me through interacting with demons, and let that situation get way out of control. If it weren't for Shadow, you'd be dead, and I'd be long gone. So don't take it too hard if I tell you to shove it on this one."

Astro, after looking sheepish for a split-second, hardened and responded in a low voice:

"First, I would have been grand. Now, I know Shadow likes to cultivate an image as-"

"-Yeah, shove it," said Warnado with utter, resigned, 'you're dead to me' dismissal.

As the quarter-demon left, Astro put his head in his hands. Shadow took the opportunity to teleport away without comment. She had no desire to talk with Astro at the moment, not after their previous conversation. Maybe at some later point, maybe, but certainly not now.

"Listen, Shadow-" she heard Astro say back in the training room. "Oh, for mods' sake…"

She saw him strut angrily off to the door of the Training room, grumbling about "everyone always blaming me for their problems" and how sick of it he was. Then, he walked right into the sights of Amanda, who had seen Warnado leaving the room in a huff and failed to catch up before he disappeared from sight. By Shadow's estimation, it took about two seconds before she saw Astro, saw he was also angry, and ask:

"What did you do this time?"

She enhanced this with a disbelieving shake of the head which stopped Astro dead in his tracks.

"What did I do?"

"Yes, you."

"Of course, because it's always Astro's fault. Oh no! My boyfriend's sad, it must have been the mean wizard man! Oh no, the administrator's new apprentice has the wrong friends, let's conscript him! Oh no, Kay went and ruined a war, let's get his confidant to trawl the wastes for corpses! I am done with it, goodbye."

He barged past Amanda and made it several paces before the teenage girl stopped him dead in his tracks for the second time that day.

"Bad day?" she asked.

He paused, then nodded.

"It's rough being at everyone else's mercy all the time, isn't it?" mused Amanda.

"Oh, don't I know it," he chuckled bitterly. "I've just been knocked from stupid dispute to stupid dispute for so long. I was conscripted for having the wrong friends, I was imprisoned for being in the wrong place. When I got to the Vanilla Craft, I thought getting a seat at the top table might actually make it easier. It doesn't, the feeling of powerlessness never goes away. Lesson for the day, if you can relay it to your boyfriend: don't get into politics."

"I'll tell him, don't worry," she said patiently. "Just don't forget, none of us want to be here, and the fact that you feel like a political tool in Kay and Shadow's dumb standoff does not mean you're not helping it happen."

"Well, Kay has reasons to-"

"Um, actually, the dumb political thing is not dumb because blah blah blah," she mocked. "Stop whining about it if you think it's so reasonable. If it's not reasonable, stop encouraging it. Be the change you want to see in the world, sweetie."

She lightly patted her hand against Astro's right cheek for emphasis.

"Anyway," she said simply, then walked off with what Shadow presumed was a gesture in Warnado's direction.

"Teenagers," sighed Astro.

With that, another voice sounded from behind him.

"Astro, do you have a minute?"

Shadow couldn't quite make out who said it. She decided to put a bit more energy into her passive perception, bracing herself for the increased volume of information.

"Oh, what now- Sorry, it's been a long day. How are we doing, Lucy?"

There, she saw the corridor clearly as Astro turned to the Shelter's top administrator. It was remarkable how quickly she had gotten used to her duties. Actually, what was even more remarkable was that Fire had told her very few things explicitly, she had picked a lot of it up naturally, only asking for guidance occasionally. Not just that but somehow, she managed to be a beacon of positivity in this otherwise dire situation. Lucy suffered too, Shadow knew it, but she didn't let it affect how she went about her day.

"Recovering, still. But just earlier today I got word from the infirmary that nobody is in critical condition anymore and we're seeing our first full recoveries. Recon is also bringing in reports consistently and it seems that we finally got a lead on that facility. The gathering parties are doing well as always, they weren't really affected by our losses, so we'll have an abundance of supplies for the foreseeable future. I have a full written report in my office if you want to take it to Kay."

"Excellent work, as usual, is that all?" said Astro, recovering his politeness but clearly wanting to get away as quickly as possible.

"Just one more thing," Lucy said. "I wasn't sure who to tell but since you're his friend I think you should know."

"What's happened?" asked Astro with an immediate, desperate urgency.

"Back at the battle, right when Kay was fighting Claw. Kay opened a portal from the Hill to me, shouting about needing a silver weapon. It was… scary to be honest. Back then the best I could find was coins. I know now Fire is hurt by silver, Shadow told me. I'm just not entirely sure what to make of it."

"How so, scary? I appreciate you're a civilian, but roaring is not uncommon for a commanding officer in a stressful situation."

Shadow thought she detected denial rather than condescension in this.

"It was less what he said and more how he looked, he was… desperate, but not just because he was in mortal danger. All I could do was provide him with some coins and when he left after that he just… gave this look and said this one really disturbing thing. I still don't know why he got that way all of a sudden."

"Well, I'm sure it's nothing," he said, audibly shaking, "But let's you and I discuss this in private. Would that suit you?"

"Yes, I have some time."

He then cast a ward around them, enveloping them in silence.

Astro wanted privacy and Shadow had heard enough, she could probably see through his ward if she wanted to but there were more important things to do. For now, she was satisfied with knowing that Astro was uncertain, what that meant in the long term was left to be seen.

She turned her attention elsewhere, looking for where Warnado had run off to. He was not in his room, which made sense, if he didn't want to be found why would he go to the one place people would look first? He also was not up in the higher sections of the barracks or any of the corridors. Which only left one place, the vents. Both him and Amanda had been using the vents to get around occasionally, probably not out of convenience but because crawling through them had an air of sneakiness about it. A quick survey revealed that Shadow's suspicion had been correct. Warnado was hiding in one of the furthest corners of the ventilation system, close to the spider grinder but not close enough to activate the spawner.

There was no good way of talking to him from the outside, so Shadow took the only other viable option and teleported directly into the vent. She used a slower, more telegraphed version of her usually instantaneous teleportation spell so she wouldn't startle her student. In a shower of purple particles, Shadow appeared less than a meter in front of Warnado. Her own small stature and the size of the vent allowed her to appear in a comfortable sitting position.

Warnado stared at the wall next to her, he said: "Hey, Shadow."

Shadow replied flatly: "Astro's on a bit of a streak today it seems."

Her student raised an eyebrow under his cloaking spell. "Huh?"

Shadow sighed. "He said some things to me too before the lesson, with a lot less room for interpreting it as friendly banter."

Warnado seemed surprised, he somewhat clumsily suggested: "Do you… want to talk about that?"

Shadow smiled. "Not particularly, just that I hope it can be explained by him trying to keep his own head on straight with all this stress."

"Oh, yeah. Wonder where that's coming from." Warnado laughed awkwardly. He evidently was not used to this type of conversation.

Shadow conjured up some wisps that glowed in various colors, both of them could see in the dark in some manner but the light created a friendlier atmosphere.

"He is right in one aspect though, we need to look at your demon situation." She raised her hands in preemptive defense. "I may have a different angle we could use."

With a sigh, Warnado asked: "And what would that be?"

Shadow asked: "You never met your demonic grandparent, did you?"

Her student silently shook his head, though it was evident that he was starting to guess where this was going.

"I may be able to arrange that for you."

Now Warnado looked directly at her. "How?"

Shadow explained: "Over the years I summoned a lot of demons, and I mean a lot. I'm on good terms with most of them so I could ask them to do a little bit of asking around. Once we gather some information about your grandparent, we could attempt a summoning."

Warnado shuffled on the spot. "That sounds cool, and I definitely want to do that, but how will that help me? Like, help me here and now, physically, not just 'Hey demon grandparent, I'm your grandchild, bye.'"

"With demons, knowledge is power. Knowing a name allows summoning, knowing your ancestry in person could allow you to better control your own demonic side. Manifest your legacy in a sense."

"If that works it's exactly what I need. Sounds like a much… less stressful way too. I'm in."

Shadow had hoped he would say this.

Now with a bigger smile she asked: "And you know the best thing about this?"

Her student looked at her quizzically.

"It's technically not a lesson, you know what that means? No having to have Astro around all the time, no Kay knowing about our every step."

Warnado replied: "I like the sound of that, I'm double in."

They both continued sitting there in silence, enjoying being off the radar for a while.

Shadow thought about the situation, she had lost Astro as a trusted confidant, but she had gained Warnado, if in a slightly different position. After losing her brother she felt like she needed all the support she could get, otherwise she'd break under the pressure. Shadow knew that using others as emotional crutches was bad, but she told herself that in this case it was like two cripples helping each other walk. She only had to hold out for a little longer, that was what she said to herself at least.