TW / Detailed description of a graveyard and death in section 6.

Chapter 8: Mistletoe and Wine

"Will you put that bloody phone down and come and open some presents?" Michelle laughed, looking up from where she was sat cross-legged beside the tree, to where Vicky was stood over the sink, checking her mobile phone for the hundredth time that morning. Sonny was fidgeting in her lap, impatiently reaching towards the stack of wrapped gifts beneath the lower branches.

"Yes, sorry! Now coming." Vicky apologised, locking her phone and placing it carefully onto the worktop, face down. Settling down between Michelle and Tyler, she offered them a smile. "Okay, who's going first?"

"I think Sonny is pretty desperate..." Tyler laughed, snapping a photo of him wriggling, his face screwed up as he fought against Michelle's tight grip. She set him down on the floor, allowing him to shuffle towards the stack of presents.

"He's an old hand at this now, after all those presents he got for his birthday." Vicky chuckled, as he pulled himself to his feet, picking up a little box wrapped in silver paper from the foot of the tree. "No Sonny, look. These ones are yours." She sat up on her knees, taking his hand and leading him to the red cotton sack embroidered with his name. The gifts were spilling out of the top of it, more so than when she'd laid it out the previous evening. She shot a curious glance in Michelle's direction.

"Clearly Santa thought he deserved a few more presents…" Michelle shrugged, an innocent smile on her face. Vicky rolled her eyes, turning her attention back to Sonny, who had taken to aggressively shaking the box he had picked up.

"What have you got, mate?" Tyler asked him, holding his arms out as Sonny waddled towards him. "Should I help you open it?"

Tyler tore at the edge of the paper, guiding Sonny's hand to complete the action. It fell away to reveal the packaging of a personalised puzzle.

"What is it, Sonny?" Michelle asked, her voice laced with excitement.

"It's a puzzle that spells out his name!" Tyler responded, analysing the back of the box. "Each piece is a different letter and it slots into the board. How cool is that, hey mate?"

Disinterested, Sonny had already wandered back to the sack and retrieved the next present, bringing it back to Tyler to help open. They continued like this until almost every present had been opened; new clothes, shoes, mega blocks, toy cars, a collection of plastic pigs to add to his farm set.

"I think he enjoys the unwrapping more than the presents themselves." Vicky laughed, picking up the latest box he'd abandoned on the floor. "Hey Sonny, come here. What's this?" She looked at the box, examining the toy through the cellophane front. It was a white, plastic microphone with big, brightly coloured buttons. Each one, when pressed, would play a different nursery rhyme. To add to the excitement, when the switch at the bottom was flicked, the rim would flash with multicoloured LED lights. Vicky looked up towards Michelle, noting that it was obviously one of her gifts to the child.

"Now he can sing just like his Mummy." She smiled, a glint in her eyes. Vicky was sure she'd bought it deliberately after the rant she'd had on his birthday about toys that made noise and how she just wanted to stamp on them.

"Hey, Tyler, why don't you open some of your presents? I'll help Sonny with the rest of his." Michelle offered. Tyler examined the pile under the tree, searching for a label with his name on. He found one tucked in at the back and pulled it out. He ripped off the wrapping paper, unintentionally tearing the heads off the snowmen printed onto it, and took a proper look at the gift.

"Tyler, did you even read who it was from?" Vicky scolded lightly, shaking her head. She rooted through the wrapping paper, pulling out the tag attached to it by a piece of string. The handwriting was neat and familiar as she read the message.

Tyler,
Merry Xmas! Hopefully this will be one less thing you need to spend your wages on!
Lots of love,
Chelle x

She looked up from the paper to where Tyler was turning the present over in his hands, grinning enthusiastically.

"It's from Michelle." She pointed out, nodding her head in her direction. Tyler looked up, beaming at her.

"I hope it's the right one. I had to ask Ryan to help." She bit her lip, waiting for the verdict.

"Yeah, this is so cool! I've wanted this one for ages!" He enthused. "Thanks, Chelle!"

"What is it?" Vicky asked, bewildered.

"A game for my PlayStation." Tyler responded, opening the case and examining the disk inside. Vicky rolled her eyes.

"Well, yes, I can see that. I meant which one?"

"The new Assassins Creed!" He explained. She looked at him blankly, before turning to Michelle, searching her for answers. She shrugged her shoulders in response, clearly as oblivious as her girlfriend and simply pleased the present had been well received.

They continued to unwrap presents one by one, whilst attempting to keep Sonny occupied at the same time. It was quite the challenge. It seemed to confuse him that, unlike for his birthday, he wasn't the only one allowed to unwrap the presents. In fact, he found it quite amusing to get in the way of each gift being unwrapped, holding his hands over the paper and giggling wildly. In the end, for the sake of a quiet life, Sonny was allowed to help with the unwrapping of each gift.

He unwrapped perfume, pyjamas, alcohol and jewellery for Vicky, all gifts from Michelle. Tyler had help in opening a new baseball cap, some DVDs and too many pairs of socks for one person to need. For Michelle, he assisted in opening some much-needed woollen gloves, a 2021 planner and a desk organiser, perfect for her new office.

There was only one gift left beneath the tree. Tyler reached out to read the label as Sonny bounded towards it.

"Keep hold of Sonny, would you, Tyler? Michelle needs to open that one herself…" Vicky said, as Tyler offered her the gift. He raised an eyebrow, curiosity piquing as Vicky sat back, looking overly proud of herself.

Michelle shot glances between the two of them, her brow furrowed in confusion. She slowly slipped her fingers beneath the edge of the shiny paper, carefully revealing one side of the gift. She allowed the rest of the paper to fall away, until she was left with only a box in her hands. Confused, she looked up at Vicky, who was wearing the same smug expression.

"Vick, are you sure this is for me?" She questioned, holding up the box in her direction. She examined it once more, reading the writing across the box: LEGO Architecture. London.

"Yep." Vicky replied simply, as Michelle took in the image of the London Eye, Big Ben and Tower Bridge, all assembled from pieces of Lego. She met Vicky's eyes once more, and noticed the excitement dazzling behind them. "Open the box."

Michelle did as she was instructed, teasing open the carboard and reaching inside. She pulled out three separate plastic bags full of little Lego pieces, before sighing and peering inside the box. There were two more still inside. She sighed, looking up once more.

"Keep going!" Vicky encouraged, leaning forwards now and watching her closely. Reluctantly, Michelle pulled out the final two bags.

"That's it, Vicky." She said, tipping the empty box upside down and shaking it for good measure. As she did so, two pieces of paper came fluttering out of the bottom and landed in her lap. Discarding the box on the floor beside her, she quickly picked up one slip of paper. As she read the writing printed across it, she felt her eyes beginning to well up.

New Years Eve Firework Display. Victoria Embankment, London. Admit One.

"Oh my god, is this for real?" Michelle squealed, searching Vicky's face for the answer. She nodded, smugly, falling backwards as Michelle threw herself at her, planting kisses across her cheeks and lips.

"You're happy then?" Vicky laughed, as Michelle pulled herself up, rereading the tickets, as though the wording on them may suddenly have changed.

"Vicky, this is what I've always wanted to do!" Michelle breathed.

"I know." She rolled her eyes. "You don't think I'd have forgotten that?"

"Well, you said you couldn't imagine anything worse than standing out in the cold for hours." Michelle pointed out, laughing. Vicky's mouth tugged into a smug smirk once more.

"I know. Which is exactly why I have booked us a suite at the Park Plaza Hotel for two nights. Our room looks out over the houses of Parliament. We'll be able to make a quick exit as soon as the fireworks are over."

Michelle's mouth had fallen open in shock, and she was unable to find the words to respond. Instead, she let the tears flow freely and pulled her girlfriend into a tight, loving embrace.

"I love you so much." She released, after a few moments. Vicky let out a soft, satisfied hum, the sound vibrating beside her ear.

"I love you too."


"And what time do you call this?" Jenny called across the bar as Michelle pushed open the door, holding it open to allow Vicky to wheel the pushchair laden with presents into the pub. Tyler followed, holding the hand of a toddling Sonny.

"Sorry!" Michelle replied, pulling off her gloves and stuffing them into her coat pockets as she approached the bar. "Sonny wanted to play with his toys. You should have seen his little face, Jenny, I couldn't say no."

"You ought to be careful you don't start spoiling that boy." Jenny chastised, flashing her a knowing smile. "Two glasses of wine?"

"Please." Vicky nodded, gratefully.

"You can pop the pushchair in the backroom, love. There's not a lot of space in here."

She was right. After much deliberation over whether or not to open the pub for Christmas day, the centre of the room had been taken up by a long table covered by a white cloth, laid out ready for dinner. Most of the family were milling around, standing and talking, some having already pulled out a chair.

"Aunty Chelle!"

The sound of a little voice echoing through the pub made Michelle turn around, just as Liam jumped towards her. She wrapped her arms around his torso and lifted him into the air, placing a kiss on his forehead as she set him down again.

"Liam, I think you get bigger every time I see you!" Michelle laughed, ruffling his hair and flashing a smile at Maria.

"You saw me last week…" Liam reminded her, the joke clearly going over his head. She let out a laugh.

"Well, I suppose you're going to be wanting your present, aren't you?" She suggested, raising an eyebrow. Liam nodded, excitedly. "Right, come on then. You can help me sort through this pile and see what we can find!" She gestured to the pushchair, taking the handles from Vicky's grip and placing a chaste kiss on her lips. "Back in a mo."

Vicky watched her go, her nephew bounding after her, before turning her attention to Maria. She was sipping on her gin and lemonade lightly, as though waiting for somebody to make conversation with her. Vicky glanced around the room for her plus one, feeling instantly more at ease when she couldn't place him.

"Where's that fella of yours, then?" She asked, in as noncommittal a tone as she could muster. As if on cue, the door of the Gents swung open and Gary stepped through, his eyes narrowing as he noticed the woman attempting to make conversation with his wife. Vicky stiffened slightly as she caught his gaze; a clear warning look that instantly told her Maria knew nothing about their meeting the previous evening. She relaxed slightly, realising that he wouldn't be likely to try anything in the crowded pub.

"Oh, here he is!" Maria beamed, wrapping an arm around his waist as he approached the bar. "He's really spoiled me today, haven't you babe?"

"Nothing but the best for the love of my life…" He replied, smoothly, placing a kiss against her lips. Vicky rolled her eyes, stomach churning in disgust. If only Maria knew what he was really like.

"What about you? I bet Michelle went all out, didn't she?" Maria asked, inquisitively.

"She did, yeah…" She replied, nonchalantly, her hand brushing the diamond pendant hanging from her neck, its surface glittering beneath the artificial lights.

"Wow, that's gorgeous!" Maria enthused, lightly brushing her fingers over the jewel.

"Yeah. Bet that cost a bomb…" Gary narrowed his eyes. Vicky felt her stomach flip, but refused to let her discomfort show in her face. She eyed him coolly as Maria studied the gift, planting a smile on her face as she pulled back to talk to her again.

"Michelle told me what you guys have got Liam. It's very thoughtful of you both. I told her you didn't have to go to all that trouble, but-"

"Oh, don't be silly," Vicky laughed, "it's no bother."

"Mum! Mum, look!" Liam called, rushing into the pub with a large box in his hands. Maria did her best to look surprised as he showed her the remote control car inside.

"Wow, aren't you lucky! Say thank you to Michelle and Vicky then!"

"Thank you!" He cried, flashing Vicky a wide grin.

"That's no problem, love. Here, our Tyler could help you set that up now if you fancied? Give it a spin down the path?" Vicky suggested, beckoning her eldest son over.

"Woah, look at that, mate!" He enthused, as he passed Sonny over to his mother. "Yeah, I'm sure we could figure that out!"

Vicky flashed Michelle a smile as Tyler took Liam outside, reading over the instructions on the back of the box as they stepped out into the winter air.

"He's a good kid, your Tyler." Maria smiled, turning her attention back from the closing door.

"Don't sound so surprised!" Michelle laughed. Vicky shot her a soft smile. She knew it had taken a while for the two of them to warm to one another, given their history, but Michelle had become somewhat of a mentor to him. She supposed it helped her having Ryan and Ali, having raised them through this stage of their teenage years before.

"Well, he's really turned himself around this past couple of years." Vicky agreed, allowing her pride to shine through as she grinned.

"I wondered when you were going to show your face!" Carla's voice pierced through their conversation as she crept up behind Michelle, throwing her arms around her torso and holding her tight. "Hi Vicky." She added, smiling over her best friend's shoulder.

"Babe, I can't breathe…" Michelle laughed, shaking her off lightly and instead tucking an arm around her waist, glancing around the room with a frown. "Where's Peter?"

"Oh, he's over there somewhere. I left him and Roy talking about trains." She gestured vaguely to the other side of the pub and rolled her eyes. "Don't you just love Christmas?"

The evident sarcasm in her tone set Michelle off giggling, the corners of her eyes creasing as the smile spread across her face.

"Did Peter treat you for Christmas then, Carla?" Vicky asked, genuine curiosity in her tone. Carla smiled, pulling up the sleeve of her jumper and holding out her wrist. Hanging elegantly across her skin was a golden chain with tiny garnet stones set into it.

"Ooh, get you!" Michelle cooed, taking hold of Carla's arm to examine the bracelet more closely. "He's done well there, got your birthstone right and everything!"

"Yes, I am a very lucky girl!" She beamed. "So, what does a girl have to do to get another drink around here?"


"Okay, if I could have everyone's attention, please!" Johnny called out from the top of the table, lightly tapping a silver spoon against the champagne flute in his hand. Slowly, the ruckus in the room began to die down, as one by one the guests turned their attention to the host. "It's nearly three o'clock, which means we need to be getting ready for the toast. Jenny, can you make sure everyone's got a drink, please?"

Jenny nodded, standing up tipsily from her seat beside him and reaching for the champagne bottle behind her on the bar. Shakily, she began to pour the liquid into the glasses of those who needed topping up.

"Is she the best person to do this?" Vicky hissed into Michelle's ear, her tone laced with concern as she watched the woman wobble around the table. Michelle let out a light laugh.

"As we all know, it's been another tough year," Johnny continued, "but, we've come through it, as family and friends." A rumble of agreement sounded along the table. "We've all faced individual challenges, battled demons and had moments that, quite frankly, I think we'd all like to forget..."

Michelle slipped her hand into Carla's, their fingers lacing together on the table. The year apart had been tough for both of them. The appearance of Jordan in the earlier months had rocked Carla, and Michelle couldn't forget the way she'd broken down to her over video call as they'd both tried to make sense of the situation. All she'd wanted was to be able to give her a hug. It felt so good to be beside her now and her heart swelled with pride at how she'd once again managed to overcome everything.

"But of course, there have been good times too!" Johnny smiled, "We've welcomed new blood into the family," he raised his glass in Gary's direction, who slung an arm over Maria's shoulder, "and welcomed old faces back." He shot a twinkling grin in Michelle's direction, who wrinkled up her nose in response.

"Less of the old, please Johnny..." She called out, sending the rest of the crowd into laughter.

"Sorry, Chelle," He chuckled. His mood became more sombre as Jenny took her place beside him once more, everyone's glasses full. "But of course, no matter how many chairs we fill around the table; there will always be empty spaces..." He raised his glass into the air as the clock struck three, the rest of the guests following. "To absent friends."

Michelle felt Carla squeeze her hand as Vicky lowered her head. That pang of guilt struck her once more, as she muttered the words along with everyone else.

He should have been there; holding Sonny; serving up the Turkey as he'd always loved to do. He was supposed to have come and met her. She was supposed to have driven him to Vicky's hotel and he was supposed to have met his son. The perfect Christmas miracle. Only miracles didn't happen in real life. Instead he'd been shot; his life cruelly ripped away by the gunman in this very room.

"Hey, are you okay?" Vicky's concerned voice broke through her thoughts. She shook them away, blinking as her glazed eyes came back into focus. She nodded slowly, tuning into the comforting feeling of Vicky's palm making slow circles on her back.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She allowed herself a small smile, hoping the gesture would assure not only Vicky, but herself, that that was true.

"You're allowed to be sad," Vicky whispered, "but please, don't blame yourself."

Michelle nodded. The care and concern in Vicky's eyes warmed her and she could tell that her words were sincere. She really meant it.


The air was crisp and cool against Vicky's skin and the frost settled on the paved courtyard at the back of the Rovers. She took a deep breath, allowing her head to fall back against the brick wall behind her. Christmas with the Connors was as overwhelming as she'd expected and she was surprised she'd lasted this long without needing a break. The sun had already set over the cobbles and the outdoor lights made her breath visible in the air.

Christmas for Vicky had always been more of a lowkey affair. She hadn't really been one for big parties or family gatherings growing up, especially after her mother had left. Once Tyler was born she'd scraped together her savings to buy him a few presents each year, but never anything too extravagant. Money was tight and, whilst she didn't want him to go without, she had to be careful with her spending.

Since being with Michelle, it had become clear to Vicky how much family meant to her. She was always on the phone or checking their updates on her Friend Connect page, and it seemed as though there was a family gathering planned almost every other week. Vicky had always found herself invited, and it was refreshing for her to experience what a proper family was like.

"Thought I saw you come out here..." Gary's gravelly voice startled her, sending her hand flying to her heart. She took a step away from where he was stood in the doorway, narrowing her eyes.

"Was the cosy Connor Christmas so riveting that you had to keep an eye on me all day?" Vicky goaded, a scowl set into her features. "Ack, I reckon your Maria would have something to say about that..."

"I just need to know what you're going to do about our little deal." Gary shrugged, ignoring her taunting and stuffing his hands into his pockets.

"Oh, for God's sake, Gary, it's Christmas! Could this not have waited another day?"

"Well, I suppose it could, but that would mean an extra £100k on top of what you already owe..."

"Ah, so you're being thoughtful, bringing this up today?" Vicky sneered, folding her arms across her chest. "Okay, yes, I'm in. But I'm not doing it because I'm scared of you, alright? Your little threats don't bother me. This is about settling scores with that sleazebag."

Gary offered a wry smile, his eyebrow raising. "Of course. Well, keep your phone on you. I'll be ready to go any day now."


Vicky flicked the switch beside the door, flooding Sonny's bedroom into darkness, save for the nightlight that cast glowing stars across the ceiling. He was already sleeping soundly, exhausted after a day of being fussed over.

She closed the door quietly, creeping into the living room with a soft smile on her face. A smile that quickly faded as she spotted Michelle, a frown tugging at her features as she picked at the skin around her fingernails. It was a habit Vicky had noticed accompanied her guilt; an involuntary action that her body insisted on performing whilst her minded raked over the things she'd rather forget. Vicky let out a sigh, as she sat down on the sofa beside her, taking both of her hands in her own.

"You're going to make them really sore." She said softly, dropping a light kiss onto her knuckles. Michelle glanced up, catching the nurturing look in her girlfriend's grey eyes and offered a tired smile.

"Sorry." She sighed, squeezing Vicky's hands affectionately.

"It's not too late to go and see him..." Vicky pointed out, reaching out to gently tuck a stray strand of hair behind Michelle's ear, her fingers caressing her cheek as she did so.

"Sonny's asleep now-"

"Chelle. We need to stop using him as an excuse. We both know that this is for us. It's something we need to do." Vicky offered a reassuring smile.

"I don't mind looking after Sonny for a couple of hours..." Tyler piped up carefully from where he was sat at the dinner table, playing a game on his laptop. Vicky offered him a grateful smile, before turning her attention back to Michelle.

"See? It's getting late, so there won't be anyone there. We can go, say what needs to be said and then come back."

Michelle let out a sigh, squeezing Vicky's hand once more.

"Okay."


Frost had settled across path, glittering beneath the glowing lamps that towered above them. It crunched beneath their feet, dampening the toes of their boots as they walked arm in arm, wrapped up tightly in their coats and scarves. The rows of headstones cast eerie shadows across the floor, the flowers at their bases wilting and brown; unable to survive the brazen chill.

Michelle remained tucked closely into Vicky's side as they made a left turn off the main path, the gravel giving way to soft dirt and dead grass. The plot was only a few feet away, tucked beneath an old oak tree. In the summer, its leaves rustled in the breeze, as birds perched amongst them, whistling a happy tune. But now, in the dead of winter, it's bare branches stretched across the black sky like claws, battered by sleet and ice.

The two women stopped beneath it, their eyes settling on the stone protruding from the earth. The light from the main path barely reached this spot and so the writing across it was cast in shadows.

Robert Preston
1971-2019

Beloved son and father

Michelle let out a slow breath, the visible particles billowing into the freezing air and dissipating before them.

"It still doesn't feel real..." Vicky murmured, her eyes trained on the ground beneath the stone. She felt a shiver ripple up her spine as she thought about what was lying beneath the soil; dead and decaying.

"This time last year I was sat by his hospital bed, trying to get through to you..."

"I'm so sorry I blocked your calls, I didn't-"

"It's not your fault..." Michelle whispered, shaking her head. "I just remember sitting there, thinking 'how has it come to this?' I know we wanted him to suffer, but I never wanted him... dead." She choked out the last word past the lump that had formed in her throat.

"It's okay to cry..." Vicky assured her, rubbing soothing circles on her back as her own eyes glistened with unshed tears. She felt Michelle's arm wrap tightly around her waist, her head falling onto her shoulder.

"I suppose we should thank him really. Without his stupid mistakes we wouldn't have this..." Michelle's lips fell into a small smile as she hummed the words.

"I wonder what he'd make of us..." Vicky laughed, lightly; picturing the look on his face as he found out the news.

"I reckon he'd be rooting for us, really. He's probably up there now, watching over Sonny, happy that he's got a loving family."

"A loving family that includes you." Vicky added, holding Michelle close. She let out a soft sigh, her eyes drifting closed.

They stood in silence for a few minutes, each lost in their own thoughts, reminiscing of times gone by. Their memories of Robert felt distant now, as though they had happened in another lifetime. Even so, he'd filled a massive part of their lives, and his loss was one that they still felt daily. It was the small things that would remind them of him; the way Sonny smiled through one side of his mouth, his favourite song playing on the radio, the odd scribbled note in his handwriting in one of their recipe books. He'd been all around them; an almost suffocating presence trying it's best to include itself in every part of their lives.

But not anymore.

Visiting his grave was just what they both needed to put their demons to rest. Just being there, able to put things into perspective allowed them to accept them. They weren't going to live their lives dictated by his memory any longer. It was time for them to let go and move on. Time for them to enjoy the rest of their lives together.

"Are you ready?" Vicky asked softly, pulling away slightly from Michelle's tight embrace. She kept her eyes trained on the granite headstone, giving a small nod of her head.

"Merry Christmas, Robert." She whispered, quietly, as Vicky wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Goodbye."