Chapter 65: Pick your Poison
Perspective: Amanda
People were angry. Not necessarily about what had happened. About the fact that they didn't know where it left them. So, they yelled, they shouted. Some jeered and mocked. It wasn't the most dignified display on earth, but their reactions made sense. Amanda almost wished she could join the cacophony. She didn't feel anything. She felt hollowed out.
She kept looking at Helix, and for the first time she couldn't read his face. All that time, that little obfuscation charm he did had never stopped him from being an open book. Now, the pages were blank.
The night was cold. The lights dim. The same stage they'd announced Fristad's death on. The same stage they'd welcomed everyone on. Fire speaking, then Kay, now Tyron. She wondered if they'd ever cycle through enough leaders that she'd end up giving a speech.
Tyron stood at the podium, trying to explain what on earth had happened without saying what had actually happened. He'd explained to the leadership about twenty minutes prior, in a clumsy, weary way that hadn't really said much. But what he had said was bad. They tried to get Kay to give up the Book, it almost worked, then Kay tried to kill Helix and all hell broke loose. She was hazy on the details, but Amanda understood that the Book died, Kay got arrested, and they just had to make do.
Of course, she'd figured out something like this had been coming when she saw Astro and Tyron trying to link up with Shadow. This shouldn't have surprised her. It still did.
"For the umpteenth time, Raphoe," said Tyron. "He is in prison as a precautionary measure. We believe the Book to have been destroyed, but it is not impossible that he is still under its influence."
"You expect us to believe that when she is involved?" snarled the villager.
He pointed at Shadow, but Amanda was the one who shifted uncomfortably. Raphoe stood at the centre of a group of red-scarfed warriors in diamond armour - Kay's fledgling goonsquad.
"Shadow has been considered the Book's handler since long before there was a Shelter, back when we first confiscated it from the late Logistics Officer Fristad. She fulfilled her role."
"And why was she conveniently on scene?"
There were some murmurs of assent.
"Fearing that the Book's influence was becoming too great, we contacted her shortly after Kay declared himself King in Ash-"
"He is the King in Ash!"
The red-scarves collectively roared in outrage as though they'd been waiting for exactly this cue all evening.
"In the sense that Kay intended to become ruler of Nexus, perhaps. But the King in Ash persona appears to have been a construction of the Book."
Amanda remembered Helix's certainty that the persona was a Kay original. She fought the urge to roll her eyes, very suddenly realising how important her every gesture was in front of the crowd.
"Treachery!" yelled Raphoe. "The King in Ash is our sovereign, and we are loyal to him alone!"
He drew his sword and raised it above his head. Steve and Jennifer began descending from the stand, weapons drawn. However, they were beaten to the punch by Rathina, who leapt in front of the podium with a sword in either hand. They were all upstaged by the arrival of Tyron's dragon buddy, Glowstar, who sank his claws into the cliff-face above Tyron and roared loudly. Amanda moved to join them, but Astro put a hand on her shoulder.
Raphoe laughed and continued undaunted.
"Who is with me?"
The red-scarfed chorus raised their swords in solidarity, but mercifully few others joined them. One guy Amanda was pretty sure had been a Jackal, one of the few that hadn't deserted after the Battle at the Hill. A few hunter-looking guys unenthusiastically raised their bone daggers and their spears beneath their heavy fur. Assorted folks from the infantry who Kay had trained personally.
A little deflated, Raphoe lowered his sword.
"The King in Ash will be released, and he will be recognised. Our swords stay sheathed until he is restored to his throne."
He put his sword away and left with his supporters in a parade of scarlet. Amanda didn't bother to count, but it was too small to stand a chance of taking over, and too large to ignore.
Tyron shook his head and unenthusiastically summed up the official narrative. Amanda faintly remembered when Kay was the one who kept having to remind them about the importance of spin and public relations and all that. She wondered if that was irony or poetic justice. Whatever it was, she found it exhausting.
"And that's about it," concluded Tyron. "Any questions?"
No one bothered.
"Okay. At ease." He dismissed the assembly.
Tyron left with Astro, Shadow and Rathina. The new Inner Circle. Helix left separately, without saying anything. The rest of them milled around until, finally, Destiny said with an unexpected cheeriness:
"Well, I think we all need a drink after that."
No one disagreed.
Destiny stood behind the bar, pouring drinks liberally, beaming. She'd even slipped some rum into Amanda's drink. Not amazingly subtly, but no one was in the mood to call her out for giving drinks to a thirteen-year-old. Amanda didn't love it herself, it made her feel fuzzy and disconnected. And yet, she kept remembering Helix, blank-faced, wandering off alone and so kept deciding she needed to feel a little distant from all this and force another sip.
They'd gathered in the officer's lounge, on the array of sofas in the centre. Steve and Jennifer sat together on the opposite couch, hands touching but not quite holding each other. Steve had already finished one drink and moved on to the second. Immediately behind them, their wizard friend, Wolfric, sat perched against the back of the sofa, scanning the rows of bookshelves from a distance. He had a weird stillness about him, and if he hadn't kept brushing the dark hair from his eyes, Amanda might have mistaken him for a statue.
Next came Rose, sipping something from an unusually tall glass, and Lucy, who had only reluctantly accepted a low-alcohol drink from Destiny. Then, unexpectedly, Steve's brother Ozen, who nursed a glass of red wine with all the enthusiasm of a biologist who had just discovered a new animal.
Amanda sat between Voidblade, who sipped gravely from a surprisingly colourful chorus-fruit cocktail into which Destiny had inserted a tiny umbrella, and a brown-haired guy she'd never met before. She felt too tired to bother asking who he was. Urist was also on their sofa, sipping the first of several pints of stout he'd asked Destiny to pour for him.
Conversation was not flowing naturally. Folks appeared to have decided they were there to drown their sorrows in the company of others. Destiny, Ozen and Urist seemed to be the only ones in remotely okay spirits. Emphasis on seemed in the former case. Every now and then, Amanda could see her frown, almost glare at the air in front of her, or shake her head. She could have sworn she saw her mouth a curse word or two at this unseen adversary but dismissed it. At least she was trying to cheer people up. Ozen and Urist seemed too occupied with their drinks.
Finally, Destiny finished pouring herself a pint of beer, and sat down in the remaining seat on Amanda's couch. She waited expectantly for a few seconds.
"Oh, come on guys, chat a little. Only way to raise the spirits. Sure, all that ugliness has gone down, but we're all friends here, aren't we?"
"Uh, no!" snorted Steve. "No, we're really not."
Everyone fell very quiet out of a cocktail of offence, embarrassment and tentative amusement. Amanda shared a look with the brown-haired hanger-on, and he had to raise a hand to hide the laugh he hastily transformed into a cough. Amanda almost smiled herself, he seemed nice.
"Wow," nodded Destiny. "Way to bring down an already low mood, Steve."
Steve stood up, knocking over the glass he'd already finished and lifting the newer one.
"Well, it's true," he said, taking another sip. "That doesn't mean I don't like any of you people. I mostly have nothing against you guys - except Kay, who sucks."
"Bad leader and generally not a great person," affirmed Jennifer.
"But yeah, Urist, Lucy, Amanda, Shadow had that Dungeons and Enderdragons game with us a while back and that was cool, but that doesn't mean we're close as friends can be."
He took a step forward and gestured to Amanda.
"Like, Amanda, when was the last time we had a real conversation?"
Amanda struggled for a couple of seconds.
"A while ago?" she tried, with another confused look at brown-hair.
"EHHHH! Wrong! Never. It - it never happened. Outside Dungeons and Enderdragons, I'm not sure we've ever directly interacted. We've just been in a group… at the same time."
He staggered as he moved back to the centre.
"Or you, Destiny. Like, we hung out a little back after David died, but have we interacted outside our duties since then? Nope. I don't know you people."
Steve swallowed and snapped his fingers a bunch.
"I had a point, somewhere in all that," he chuckled, and Ozen joined in. "When I got here, I just wanted to get back home. I think me and Jen both felt that way, didn't we?" Jennifer nodded semi-reluctantly. "We'd already done the hero thing, we wanted to get home to our friends and family to enjoy our happily-ever-after and I know we weren't the only ones in that position. Like Tyron and - that's your shtick too, Destiny, right?"
Destiny snorted and nodded. Her lips parted reluctantly into a smile.
"Yeah, that's my shtick."
"See, I'm right - I'm right so you should listen to me," Steve laughed, a few people joining him.
"So, now that I have all that back, more or less. Now that Wolfric and my stupid brother are here, and we have Drake down in the stables who is just the cutest little creature, I'm realising that I really haven't taken the time to get to know you people. And I want to. I should be glad to meet new people, this is… there's so much difference that's so interesting and I haven't been paying attention to that. I'm sorry."
He squinted around the group and came to rest on the hanger-on.
"Like you, we have never spoken."
He laughed and stood up. He had a slight limp.
"That's actually not your fault. I'm Seth, I'm friends with Tyron. I just arrived tonight, and I'm a little lost as to what's going on."
He reached out and shook Steve's hand.
"You see, this is what I've been missing out on - a whole new person! Pleased to meet you Seth, I'm Steve!"
Steve swayed a little, beaming and talking far louder than necessary. Seth squinted and smiled in confusion.
"Pleasure to meet you too, Steve."
"Pleasure. This is so great. Let's get a round of - whatever spirit you were drinking out of those small glasses the other night, Urist, shots did you call 'em? Shots?"
"Shots?" asked Destiny with a mischievous grin and fingers pointed at Urist.
"Shots?" asked Urist with a yet more mischievous grin and a wide casting of the eyes around the group.
"I'm pretty sure someone said 'shots'," nodded Rose slyly.
"Then shots they shall have," affirmed Seth.
"Yes, let's do it!" cried Steve.
He ran forward and tripped on the rug.
"Lightweight," said Voidblade in complete monotone.
Amanda broke and started cackling, and soon the laughter spread around the group. And so, they had the round of shots - Amanda wasn't sure what it was, and it tasted disgusting, but it made her feel just disconnected enough from her emotions to enjoy this. The night became a blur of bonhomie.
Urist stood on the table, leading a chorus of some old dwarven song, sad and sweet. Voidblade and Jennifer had a substantially lower-effort spleef rematch, staggering around the field sluggishly until Steve and Urist belly-flopped on and collapsed the whole thing. Lucy evidently had very little drinking experience but nonetheless was in a splendid mood, partially due to having turned down any drink beyond her third. Rose was dancing gracefully as Ozen flicked through the record discs. Amanda remembered joining the dancing for a while, probably a little less gracefully. Wolfric buried his head in a book, taking any drink given to him. Destiny rushed between the bar and everyone else, taking orders and prescribing a few.
Eventually, Amanda found herself sat on the sofas again, with what might have been her third drink in her hand. The fuzzy feeling had started feeling less numb and more toxic, but she was still having fun.
"Never have I ever…" pondered Seth. "Killed or helped in the process of killing Herobrine."
He took a drink and so did half the group.
"Hey, you can't suicide it," giggled Jennifer.
"I just did."
"Should I drink?" asked Amanda. "Like, Helix has to do it eventually, by helping him get through this does that count as indirectly helping him kill Herobrine?"
"I don't know," said Lucy. "By that logic, because I'm helping you all as an administrator, am I helping kill Herobrine, too?"
Rose added: "If that counts then everyone here needs to drink, even people who have never heard of the guy before coming to Nexus." She downed her drink without further contemplation.
"Whichever definition means the most people drink is the one I intended," chuckled Seth before taking another deep gulp.
"Who's Helix again?" asked Voidblade after already drinking.
"It's Warnado's real name," said Steve.
The enderman nodded and drank once more.
"I'm not gonna lie," said Ozen after finishing his glass. "I have no clue who either of those people are."
Wolfric looked up from his book.
"It's her boyfriend," he said with a gesture to Amanda. "The little hooded child."
"Oh, him," smiled Ozen. "I love his little, red eyes!"
Amanda grinned but felt a pang of unwanted emotion beneath it. She reached for the glass nearest to her and took a big gulp.
Destiny arrived with a fresh platter of drinks and sat down.
"Thanks for bartending tonight, Destiny," said Amanda graciously.
Destiny froze up for a second, then began handing the drinks out again.
"No bother, kid," said Destiny without looking at her. "Anyway, Steve, I've been meaning to ask-"
"-Ask away!" Steve proclaimed abruptly, prompting Jennifer to choke on her new drink.
"I meant to ask you, you stole some crystals from the Entity. That's why you got tangled up in all this?"
"Oh yeah, stupid, dumb crystals. I hate them."
"We didn't steal them, though," corrected Jennifer.
"They just fell from the sky one day and have literally done nothing good ever since."
Destiny nodded sympathetically.
"Screw the crystals!" She called.
"Screw the crystals!" Steve and Jennifer echoed. Seth joined in a little late and laughed at his own sluggishness.
"You know what we should do," said Destiny. "We should smash them. It'll be symbolic and stuff."
"I love it!" yelled Jennifer. "Steve, we should absolutely do that."
"I don't know," mumbled Steve. "Can't they like, track the signature? Won't they find the Shelter?"
"Steve, if they don't know where we are by now, they're never going to figure it out," said Destiny.
"Aye, they do have Claw on their side. He probably told them, even if it took some rememberin','' agreed Urist.
Steve nodded and puffed out his cheeks as though swilling a fine wine around his mouth.
"We're smashing those crystals."
Amanda whooped supportively.
He pulled out his ender chest and began rummaging through. Finally, his hand stopped stirring around, descended slightly, and then came out with a fist full of luminous, multi-coloured crystals. He scattered them on the table and equipped his sword. Destiny put a hand on his wrist.
"First," Destiny said. "A toast. Come on. Everyone in for this one. Even you, Lucy. Don't be shy."
And then all did so, picking up a drink and preparing to raise it. Looking around at all these people, who had been so miserable just a few hours before, Amanda felt… still a little toxic, but also a burning, intense affection. It felt like a wave rolling through her, rising us to her heart and making it ache with happiness. She wanted to run down to Helix, tell him she loved him and help him feel the same way.
Destiny began to speak.
"Thank you all," she said. "This is probably the last great night we'll have until this is all over, so I'm glad we got to share it. To the end of one story and the beginning of another!"
There was a round of cheers, then the drinks were raised like Icarus to the sun. Then, they plummeted down towards open mouths. They all drank deep. All except one.
Wolfric collapsed first.
"Lightweight," Voidblade repeated. He got slightly fewer laughs than before. Then, he slumped back in his seat.
Amanda and Seth shared a look, a hazy and unfocused but nonetheless urgent look.
Jennifer went next. Then, Ozen. Steve flopped onto the floor. At this point Amanda and Seth both clumsily drew weapons. Seth's sword slipped between his fingers, and he dropped to his knees, drifting off as he reached out after it.
Amanda heard the thud of Urist going down somewhere to her right, she could no longer focus. Her eyes swung around like dim lanterns which only revealed a snapshot of the world. Lucy strewn out on her side. Rose lying on the ground, blood on her forehead and the corner of her table. Only one person left.
"Destiny," grunted Amanda. "Why?"
Amanda pointed her axe at Destiny and began to struggle forward. The older girl stood by the table, counting the crystals Steve had laid out. Amanda could hear something scraping on the carpet somewhere to her right but didn't dare lose focus on Destiny.
"It's the only way," said Destiny.
Amanda fell flat on her face, feeling one of her teeth scream out as it connected with the ground. Still, she fought on, turning her face. She saw Destiny scooping up the crystals and putting them in her pocket. Then, she stooped down over Lucy and plucked a key off her belt.
"Hopefully, one day it'll make sense. Sleep well."
And with that, she left. Amanda tried to force herself up, to go and tell someone, but she couldn't do it. It only brought the encroaching darkness further on. But just before she drifted off completely, she heard one last, heavily accented thing:
"Oooh, I'm na lettin' anotha keep go down like this. Na again. Na again..."
