Chapter 7

Six Months Later

Michelle fastened her coat, smiling at the sight of the two of them. Joel had made a few trips down throughout the year, getting to know Chloe better and better. She'd taken a liking to him, and his anxiety over his presence in her life had subsided. Things had fallen into place. So much so that Michelle was okay leaving her alone on Christmas Eve with him, while she made an important trip. It was a trip she hadn't been able to make very often anymore, seeing as she was juggling the security firm and raising Chloe. But Michelle had been happier in these past six months than she'd been in a long time.

Her ears perked up at the sound of a knock at the door. She knelt to meet her daughter's eye.

"Okay, Chloe, I'm going to be gone for a little while, you be good for Uncle Joel, okay?"

Joel came out of the kitchen, holding two cups of hot chocolate. "I'll make sure she's in bed on time, don't worry. Otherwise Santa won't be coming past this house, will he?" He raised an eyebrow, looking down at Chloe, who blushed and looked away.

"I'll be good, I promise!" She grinned from ear to ear, wearing the candy cane pyjamas Tony's mom had bought for her. Tony's family had been incredibly supportive, as had Michelle's. They loved Chloe as much as they would have loved any biological child Michelle could have had. And that alone had helped her to reconnect with them. She'd shut them all out in lowest lows of her grief, understandably because they weren't the people she needed in her life at that time, but it just made her appreciate them all the more when she decided, on her own terms, to welcome them back.

"I'm sure you will. Bye, sweetheart." She blew her a kiss.

Kim smiled as the door opened, ducking her head in to say hello to Chloe and Joel. The car was still running, Jack at the driver's seat. Seeing the two of them together still never failed to make Michelle smile. True to her belief, Kim had rebuilt her relationship with her father once it became known that he was really leaving CTU for good. The emergence of a half-brother in the picture had certainly been an encouragement too.

They drove to the graveyard, making idle chitchat about their own respective families. Audrey was obviously at home with James. Kim had taken a job at a small tech start up. She'd been confiding in Michelle about someone she was seeing, a man named Stephen Wesley,. They hadn't been going out for long, she wasn't quite ready to take him home to meet her father, but Michelle assured Kim that she'd be with her when she did. Judging by the way her eyes lit up when she spoke about him though, Michelle could tell it was more than just a fling.

When the three of them arrived, they split off, Jack and Kim heading over to Chloe and Tony first, followed by Teri, where they'd be spending the most time. Michelle had a similar routine, having visited her mother with her brother and father on the previous day, but on this occasion, there was an extra stop she needed to make.

Looking down at the piece of paper in her hands, she guided herself to the graves of Melanie and Samuel Parker. Michelle laid the flowers down, taking the time to read the inscriptions. It'd taken her a few tries to actually muster the courage to face them. It felt strange, inappropriate at first. But she felt she owed it to Chloe and Joel to do so. Joel had made it clear he wasn't ready to face his sister, and Michelle respected that. She'd told him how long it'd taken for her to visit her own husband, and that until he was ready, she would gladly lay down flowers in his honour.

"CTU failed you both, and for that, I'm sorry. I'm sorry we weren't able to get to you in time." She let out a shuddering sigh, finally able to release the guilt she'd been feeling since that day. The morning replayed over and over again in her mind sometimes. Rethinking and overthinking every decision she'd made, wondering if she could have stopped that explosion from occurring in the first place. "I don't know either of you very well, but I promise you, I'll do everything in my power to make sure your daughter's happy and healthy. And I'll make sure, Melanie, that Joel knows that you love him, and that you forgive him. I'm sure he'll come here one day, just give him some time."

After a few minutes, she walked over to Chloe's, kneeling down, knowing she'd be speaking a little longer to her.

"Hey…Hey Chloe." She took in a deep breath. "It's funny, I…I feel like I'm saying your name a million times a day now. But when I say it here, it's still so hard. I still...I still spend so many days wondering if the bomb had gone off in my car first, whether you would have made it. Whether Edgar could have warned you the way he warned me." She sniffled. "Even though I'm not there anymore, I really missed seeing you at work. I must say…" Michelle smiled crookedly. "Edgar's definitely faster and more confident than he used to be, you'd be proud of him. I know he visits here too, but he misses you an awful lot. So does Morris." A cloud of fog formed as she exhaled. "So does Jack." She peered over at Jack, who'd placed an arm around Kim. "And so do I. Even when I was in Seattle, I…I really missed having you to talk to. You and I seemed to be in sync somehow. I'd have an idea, you'd already be halfway through a database looking for more. CTU isn't CTU without you, Chloe." Standing, she brushed grass off her pants. "But wherever you are, I hope you're okay, and Merry Christmas."

Following a similarly familiar path, she walked over to Tony's grave, noting that his family must have already visited a day prior, judging by the array of flowers there.

"Hi Tony…it's been a while, sorry. Things have been a little crazy." She chuckled, adding her own flowers to the pile. "I think you'd be pretty proud of me to know that we managed to bake gingerbread and keep the house intact, unlike the first time I tried… Joel's actually pretty good for a kid barely out of college. He reminds me of Danny at that age. He and Chloe are both good, great actually." Michelle thought back to where they were, watching Christmas cartoons in her house, probably trying to force Major into some ridiculous costume. "Business is surprisingly good too. Rick Rosen's a bit of a gossip, I think. As soon as I told him I was taking clients again, he told a bunch of his colleagues, and well…safe to say Chloe and Major are getting spoiled this year." Michelle couldn't help but let out a small laugh again. Talking to Tony really had helped her over time. His grave no longer felt like a place to break down crying and reliving her pain. Now it felt like a place to talk to him. To update him on all the little and big things happening in her life.

"Speaking of…" She squeezed her eyes shut, voice breaking a little, but still rife with pride. "She…She called me mom the other day. Up until now she'd been calling me 'Michelle' and that was fine, but then…I-I don't even think she realised but…it…it made me so happy." Michelle felt a tear roll down her cheek. "A little sad too, knowing that she won't have you to call 'dad'. I know…" Her head shook. "Logically it makes no sense, I mean, if you were here, we'd have our son but…having her in my life, having Chloe as my daughter, I-I don't know, but it feels right. Doesn't mean I don't think about you every day though. Doesn't mean that I'll ever stop thinking about you." Her last sentence came out as a tear-laden whisper. "But it makes the pain a little easier." Michelle heard the crunch of Jack and Kim's footsteps on the sodden winter ground, noticing that it had really gotten dark now. "I love you…Merry Christmas sweetheart."

And when Michelle came home to find Joel asleep on the couch, Chloe laying across his lap, and Major at his feet, she beamed again, sniffling as she pulled the blanket over them gently.

Because that heaviness in her chest had lifted, just like Jack had once told her it could.