IF YOU HAVE ALREADY READ THIS CHAPTER REREAD IT, ITS ALMOST ENTIRELY REWRITTEN
Author's Note: It has been a while. I haven't abandoned this story I just wrote myself into a corner I couldn't write out of. So I've deleted and rewritten a bunch of Bella's chapters and I will now be posting them with (hopefully) some frequency. Most of Natalia's chapters have been finished for a long time so there may be a difference in writing style between the two. On with the story.
So. Much. Noise.
Bella opened her eyes before immediately shutting them again. So many faces she didn't recognize yet she did. So many things she couldn't possibly have managed to do yet she knew how and why each event happened. She could do nothing but lay there in the cacophony as her headache grew. She thought her brain might split from the information overload. She covered her ears to try and block some of the sound. It was no use the noise was as loud as ever and it was only then that she realised all the sound was inside her own head.
"She's waking up." Valgus, a restoration priest and good friend who I met at the Steed Stone. He traveled arou-
"Finally, the children are getting antsy." Eliza, adventurer and good friend. We met in the Temple of the Divines in Solitude when-
"Shh look," Valgus dropped to a whisper, "we're disturbing her. Go, I'll allow her to wake slowly. We'll be back with the children once she is sound again in mind and body without trace of the Wabbajack."
Wabbajack, given to me by Sheogorath the Mad God. Wait. Sheogorath is who Bella met before waking up here. Wherever here is. Skyrim, right yeah, Bella is now in Skyrim, with a lifetime's worth of memories that aren't her own, understanding a language she's never heard before Cyrodilic, with her own brain supplying information she knows isn't her's and yet somehow it's there.
There's a brief reprieve from all the noise as Bella focuses on just how well the Mad God manages to live up to his name sake. Is he this thoroughly in the head of all his targets? What was his goal here? If it was to make her specifically go mad why her what makes her so special? Or maybe, since he's the Mad God nothing needs to make her special. She certainly wasn't special enough to keep him... around…
Bella wraps her arms around herself, trying to hold herself together. She can't stop replaying the last thing that happened before her world stopped making sense. Her heart was ripped right out of her chest and left on the forest floor behind her home. Maybe this is what happens when you lose half of your soul. Maybe you just snap immediately.
"Natalia? Breathe. I'll heal your ails, just breathe through the pain." Huh? Who's Natalia?
I'm Natalia, I'm the dovahkiin. The brief confusion was enough to snap her out of her downward spiral and Bella tries opening her eyes again. She feels a light warmth flow through her body as she watches Valgus try to find where she's injured and heal her. His strength behind his well practiced healing spells feel like their almost enough to heal her heart. Almost.
But I'm not Natalia, I'm Bella the nobody. No one wants me at home and they won't want me here. Bella sank into herself. Not caring about the eyes on her, she curled into the foetal position and let the pain in her chest spread to the rest of her body and swallow her whole. It didn't matter, nothing did. These people only cared about their missing friend anyway. They wouldn't care about Bella. She was worthless. Not good enough.
The pain took over.
MIDDAS
TURDAS
FREDAS
LOREDAS
SUNDAS
MORNDAS
TIRDAS
Valgus never left Natalia's side. She was moved back to her home where the children worried over their mother and the priest did all he could think of to heal her. He had sent word to Qa'Dojo but was careful about what he put into writing. He simply stated there was a puzzle that was Daedric in nature that they needed his expertise in solving. He arrived today and Valgus had to make a decision about leaving Natalia for the first time in a week.
It wasn't a hard decision. Eliza and Jordis were here as well; they were more than capable of looking after her. Valgus left with a quick goodbye to fetch the khajiit and bring him to her.
Unbeknownst to Valgus. Eliza had reached the end of her patience. She had quite the soft spot for the children and hated watching her good friend just sit there lifeless day in and day out. Not acknowledging anyone, not doing anything, barely eating when forced to. It was breaking everyone's heart and in true Skyrim fashion when Eliza got hurt she got was not an invalid and it was time she stopped acting like one.
As soon as Valgus was out of sight of the house Eliza dragged Natalia out towards the guards training grounds. She needed a nice wide open space for the walloping she was about to dish out. Natalia just stood there as Eliza readied her blade to swing.
She swung at the heaviest part of Natalia's armour. She didn't actually want to hurt her friend, she just wanted her to wake up. Out of instinct Bella dodged. It registered somewhere in the back of her mind that she had never fought before yet here she was dodging a skilled fighter's blade.
It also registers that this could be her way out of the madness. What was the point in living when those you loved most don't want you and you become the plaything of a mad god anyway. After a week of agony, seeing no way home to even hold onto the memory of the one whose name she couldn't even think without crumbling, Bella kneels down and accepts her fate.
Valgus and Qa'Dojo turn the corner as Bella kneels. They thanked the gods they decided on a shortcut and rush to save Natalia. Eliza sees them, sees Natalia just give up, and throws down her blade with a scream of frustration.
Bella can't believe it. The adrenaline of what she had wanted to happen hits her and she begins to shake. She hears a strange ripping sound she can't place and the world wobbles as she shakes hard. She feels two sets of arms grab either one of hers while shushing her gently.
"Shh Natalia its okay, you're okay." Someone said, concerned.
That was when she realised the strange sound was her sobs. It occurred to her among the madness that neither her nor Natalia, if her new memories serve correct, are much for showing emotion at all. Natalia openly loves her children but that is the extent of her emotional outbursts, if they can even be called that. Bella's hysterics had everyone concerned.
She was rushed away from the grounds and into the temple towards the back where the beds lay. Her sobs continue as she is laid down and the situation is explained to Qa'Dojo.
"So she's been touched by Sheogorath." he said.
Not much registered for Bella as she lay there helpless. Valgus and Qa'Dojo discussed what could be done about Natalia's condition. They didn't come up with much of anything. Bella began to calm down. She was surrounded by memories of a young Natalia, feeling helpless the first time she tried to battle and lost. The memories that weren't her's distracted her from the ones that hurt briefly.
Then the pain was back and she tried to let the numbness take over once again.
Author's Note: I'm trying to write longer chapters than this. Bear with me, I'm getting there slowly.
