A/N Happy New Year, all you who are reading this.
Laszlo Mahnofsy sat in his car, bored. Whatever was going on in the penthouse sounded bad, but it had to be more interesting than this. None of their cameras caught the window, and his own laser only caught a small portion of it at a bad angle. His job was supposed to be to listen in and follow Bartowski when the call came for the repair job, but there was nothing to listen in to and the target wasn't leaving. About the only thing keeping him awake was a classic rock station and his fork. Every time a song ended he jabbed himself in the leg.
"Mahnofsky."
He put down the fork and picked up his phone. "Here and barely conscious."
"We're on our way to you. Make sure Bartowski is ready for a little trip."
Sudden surge of adrenaline. "You want me to take this guy down myself? Are you nuts?"
"No, but I am in charge. Gas the room, take him out with your tranq pistol as they come out. Take them both. We'll use her as leverage, and bury them together."
Easy to say. Not so easy to refuse. "On my way." Gas the room. Not knockout gas, but they had smoke grenades. Throw one through that window and boom.
Well, not boom, more like a hiss, but still...
He got the grenade and the pistol from the trunk and crept across the courtyard, making sure he knew where he had to stand so he could cover the window and the front door by himself. He checked the car with the two watchdogs, except it only had one watchdog, just like it had all damn night, and that one appeared to have dozed off at the wheel. Must not have had a fork.
Take him out first, make sure that nap is deep and long-lasting. Permanent would be better but that sort of thing escalates. Giving Bartowski's window a wide berth, he headed for the other lot, noting all the obstacles for the return path. Nothing in my-
"Rye," said Anna, standing over the crumpled body of the enemy bad guy schmuck.
"Here."
"He's down. Has a tranq pistol in one hand and a grenade in the other. He was coming for you first."
"Sensible. What's your plan?"
They couldn't both leave. "I'll have to dump him somewhere and come back to you."
"There's a girls' school in El Segundo."
Forty-five minutes away. "Sounds good," said Anna, wondering how he knew that before she decided she really didn't want to know. Not likely this guy would have a ladder in the trunk. Leave him on the grounds with a dart from his own gun in his foot, and a grappling hook in his hand, and she'd be done, and so would he. "I'll be back as soon as I can. Unless you want to do it."
"Nah, they don't like weird guys wandering around places like that," said Rye. "They tend to arrest them. That might keep this guy out of our hair for a little while."
Anna's desire not to know continued. "Even if he does get away from them, he'll still be in El Segundo, with no transport, no gear, and the entire police force after him. His team will either have to abandon him or send someone else to pick him up."
"Either one's a win in my book. I'll hold the fort while you're gone."
Sarah's phone started beeping. "Make it stop," Chuck whimpered, rolling over and feeling around his bedside table with his eyes shut. "Make it stop."
Something rolled completely over him, pressing him into the bed as the sound of the phone became a memory. "Come on, Chuck, time to get up."
"Gah!" moaned Chuck into his pillow. "Woman, you're insatiable."
At least she stopped bouncing on top of him. "What are you talking about? You sated me plenty. Making up for lost time, I bet." She hauled him back over and kissed him lightly on the lips, so as to avoid morning breath. "Anyway, I said time to get up, that means all of you, not just the one part."
He opened his eyes. "You're bubbling me to death."
Kiss here. "Also your fault." Kiss there. "Has to be, I never did this before." Squeeze.
"Ya-hah!" He sat up very suddenly, and she sat back just as quickly. At least she let go. "Not a morning person?"
She shook her head, eyes downcast. "I have a long, sad string of dead alarm clocks laid up against my soul's account."
Chuck dropped his head against her shoulder. "Such big word usements. I hate you."
"Liar," said Sarah softly into his ear, her breath tickling. "You love me."
Chuck looked down, saw her hands, and took them in his own. "Yeah, " he said. "I suppose I do."
"Thank you," she whispered, then she tightened her grip on his hands, raising her voice. "One of us has to use the bathroom first, and I'm pretty sure it's not me." She hopped out of the bed.
"It's me, it's me," said Chuck, throwing himself out of the bed after her. As he hobbled off to the bathroom they heard someone knocking on the front door.
"I'll get it," said Sarah. She snagged Chuck's robe before opening the bedroom door.
"You already did," said Chuck.
"That's true." Sarah put on the robe and tied the sash before she bounced across the room, but wasn't so lost to reason as to just open the door willy-nilly. "What's the code of the day?" she called.
"Sister knows best," said the person on the other side of the door.
Sarah flung it open. "Ellie!"
"Well, it looks like someone had a good night," said Ellie with a grin, "And it wasn't just me. Where's Chuck?"
"Peeing," said Sarah brightly. She leaned in conspiratorially and murmured, "Someone rehydrated just a lit-tle more than he should have, if you know what I mean."
"Great," said Ellie, her smile dehydrating somewhat. "That's great. Chuck? Get out here now!"
"I'm co-, mm, I'm on my way." Chuck appeared behind Sarah, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.
"Nice save," she murmured.
"Not really," said Ellie. She handed over Chuck's phone. "You left this last night. Lester called, I intercepted, you're welcome. Your alarm went off, you've got your mission, so...
time to get out there, fight the good fight, and serve your country, soldier."
Chuck saluted. "Yes, ma'am. Sir?"
"Ma'am," said Sarah.
"Ma'am."
On the far side of the parking lot, Agent Rye got a strange look on his face. "Soldier? Mission? Who the hell is this guy?" He picked up his phone. "Wu?"
"Here. Guy is dumped, heading back."
"Drive slow. Something hinky here. Code-phrase level hinky. Our guy is heading out to quote fight the good fight and serve his country, soldier. Unquote."
"Soldier? What the hell?"
"Yeah, that's what I said. Larkin didn't say anything about this being a military op. I'll call you with an updated destination once I know what it is."
"Okay. I'll contact Graham."
"Any word from Laszlo?" asked Decker. Again.
"No, sir," said Gruber. Again.
"Cast a wider net." Gruber nodded his compliance with the order as Decker went back into the rear of the van.
"You think they got him?" asked Vincent, checking his own sources on the more powerful rig.
"He has bodyguards, doesn't he? This is what they're for." Decker sat with a grunt of disgust. "Laszlo should have taken them out first."
"He must have tried," said Tommy. "There are two of them."
"There are strategies for that," said Decker, but he wasn't so stupid as to annoy his team without cause. Let Laszlo burn after they got back. "Which can occasionally fail, and then you're stuck wondering how creative the opposition can get."
"I would suspect they will be very creative," said Sasha. "Look at the man they're watching, his cleverness, his creativity. He really thinks outside the box, almost as if he isn't an agent at all, and his people likewise."
"Is that why you didn't do any of the things you should have done, like try to turn his man? Make him a mole in their organization?"
"When was I supposed to turn him, huh? I hit him with the backlit gown and he literally fell over the bed. I give him an upskirt glimpse and he threw himself into the air and practically pulled my dress off while giving himself a bloody nose. Then he fell into a bathtub full of water and I had to play that game with him three times! He was good at it, too."
"You lost all three," said Vincent.
Sasha ignored that. "I had a plan for an offer but you pulled the plug on the operation before I could use it."
"It doesn't matter," said Decker. "In an hour we'll have Bartowski in the desert. We'll just have to take those other two out of the equation before we do that."
Silence reigned in the van. "Are you sure we want to do that, boss?" asked Tommy.
"Do you want to explain to Shaw how the mission failed over your scruples? Especially when they might have already done the same to Mahnofsky?"
"Uh, sir," said Vincent. "About Mahnofsky."
"You found him?"
"In a manner of speaking."
Meanwhile, in DC it was lunchtime...
Daniel Shaw was back in the Buy More, which still had his analytical staff while his ops team was elsewhere. "What have you got for me?"
The tech pointed to a console. "Graham is on the phone with Larkin."
Shaw drew the obvious conclusion. "He hasn't returned from LA?"
"Apparently not, sir." The tech flipped the switch, putting the eavesdropped conversation on speaker.
"When your nerd friend completes his report, upload it to me immediately. I have a meeting with the Secretary at four, and I need to be able to explain this or my head will roll...I know I can count on you, Bryce."
"We need that report," said Shaw.
"Whatcha doin', Lester?"
"I'm designing a game, Jeffery, a truly stellar video game for a truly stellar player."
"I don't play video games, Lester," said Jeff. "I used to."
Lester patted him on the shoulder. "You are truly an old-school hero, my friend, or you were. But this game, this game shall be the newest of the new school."
"I don't go to school, Lester," said Jeff. "I used to."
"And you shall again, once this little baby is completed," said Lester proudly. "I'm going to call it LazerSasha, because SashaBitch doesn't have the right ring. But for now you will man the desk. I am obviously concerned with matters of greater import than any customer could hope to attain, and I'm told Chuck is too."
"He's here?"
"He came in earlier, with the same hot blonde as yesterday, and said he had a project he needed to work on. I think we can both imagine what that project is, eh, Jeffery?" said Lester, with plenty of leer in his voice.
"We can?"
"I can," said Lester, gazing wistfully into the distance. "After the last glorious night, I can." Then his dismal reality intruded once again. "In any event, they said if I needed Chuck, to get Morgan."
"Why would you get Morgan if you need Chuck?"
"Because Morgan knows where Chuck is, and I don't," snapped Lester. "I always knew the power would go to his head, cavorting with hot babes who knows where while we peons just muddle along in the trenches. This will get me out of that trench, Jeffery, and I'll be taking you with me. Just play your part and do your feeble best, nobody can or should expect more from you than that. I know I don't." Lester wandered away with his design specs in hand.
"Yes, sir," said Decker, and he put his phone away in his pocket. "Larkin's still here, so Graham is short-handed. We need that report and we need it now, nothing off the table. You okay with that, Delgado?"
"Whatever it takes, sir."
"Whoever took Laszlo took his car as well, and that's in the Buy More lot. I'm not thinking that's a coincidence. Let's put a plan together. As soon as Thing gets back with Mahnofsky we strike."
The phone on the Nerd Herd desk rang, and Jeff picked it up. "Hello?" he asked, reading off the script taped to the counter in front of him. "Buy More Nerd Herd, Jeffery Barnes speaking. How may I service you today?"
"Hi, Jeff, it's Poppy."
He brightened. "Hi, Poppy, it's Jeff."
"Yes, I know," said Poppy, with the patience she kept in reserve for the dimmer customers. Their money was still green. "I need to speak to Chuck, for the lunch. I've got everyone's usual lined up, but I know he'll want something special."
"Okay," said Jeff, and he looked down at his script. "Hold, please." The phone had two buttons, one marked 'Yes' and the other 'No'. He pressed 'Yes' and put the phone down. Looking around he spotted the nearest green shirt and went over to him, tapping him on the shoulder. "Have you seen Morgan?"
Harry Tang turned around. "No I haven't, Barnes, for a suspiciously long time. What business is it of yours?"
What business was it of his? Jeff laboriously worked his way back up the chain that had led him to this moment. "There's a phone call."
Tang grunted dismissively. "If you find him let me know."
Jeff walked away and Harry went over to the Nerd Herd desk. He picked up the phone and pressed the flashing light. "Hello?"
"There's my lover boy!"
A/N2 I think we all know what the first word of the next chapter will be.
The boulder has reached the top of the hill. As Willy Wonka famously said, "The suspense is killing me. I hope it'll last."
LOLs and comments below please. You'd do it for Randolph Scott.
