A/N: Hey there, everyone. I am back again, with a new story, that should stay somewhere on my laptop until all my previous ones are complete, but every writer on this platform would agree with me when I say some things just need to have words and a voice before they even let you breathe. Now this story, which was originally supposed to be a rewrite of another one, just turned out to be something that had the potential of being much more all on its own, and so, here we are. I've titled it Maybe Somewhere Again. A title that is apt, given what I've planned for it. As usual for all of my Vampire Academy stories, it starts with the heartbreaking scene of 'Love fades, mine has', because that was just something asking for a different scenario, as far as I'm concerned. Although, that's not to say I don't absolutely love the complete series, but some things could have been done better. After all, there's always something different to be done. Anyhow, this one is solely for all my awesome readers and reviewers, the very people who keep inspiring me to write, even through the worst of all writer's blocks. You have all my sincere gratitude and love. You are the best, and the reason I keep continuing with the stories. Well, you and the fact that they don't get out of my head until I give them words. So, I do hope you enjoy this story as much as you've let me know you enjoyed Maximum Mortal Fault, and I promise I will be continuing and updating that too. Soon. And any readers who haven't given that story a chance, please do, because it's always nice to hear from new people and how they perceive what I write.

But for now, enough talk. Please go ahead, and I'll see you at the bottom.

DISCLAIMER: The characters are the sole property of Richelle Mead.


MAYBE SOMEWHERE AGAIN

Love fades. Mine has.

I suppose it was kind of beautiful, the way he put it. His words had always had this unique cadence to them, partly owing to his sultry Russian accent, and part to something that was all him. This was no different; he was as eloquent as ever, saying something so shattering in words that were so beautifully rhythmic. It was a shame I couldn't appreciate it more as my heart turned over in my stomach, leaving hollow pain in its wake. Was it supposed to feel this way, heartbreak ? For months, the thought that kept me together had been that one day, after all this was over and done with, we could finally find our happily ever after, except, I suppose what they said was true. Only fairytales ended in happiness, reality almost never did.

I was reminded of a saying I'd once encountered, outlining how we seek all our happy endings in books and novels and words, only because there is none to be found in real life. I now appreciated just how true that was. I couldn't get far enough away from this. How was I supposed to react to this ? I knew I wanted to cry, badly, but that would have solved no purpose, because right then, I saw just how much he truly believed in his words. It wasn't that he wanted to hurt me, he was just doing what we've always done. He was being honest with me, brutally so, and though it broke me to pieces right on that back pew in the church, I wouldn't have wanted him to lie to me. He'd put it as it was. I loved him with all my heart and soul, he couldn't return it, and now I was left with only this. Only me in a relationship with the memory of him.

And I couldn't blame anyone. Not him, not Lissa, not his Strigoi past, not even the circumstances surrounding us now. I had brought this onto myself, and I had to drag myself through it. I knew what my mind was doing; I was shutting down, my walls falling into place so as to enable me to deal with something I wasn't strong enough to fight on my own. I wished it didn't have to be this way; I wished he'd see just how much I wanted him to believe he could be forgiven for what he did as a Strigoi because it hadn't ever really been him. He'd been a shell, albeit one with his own memories and passions all intact, but twisted over to become something dark and dangerous. I understood all of that; in fact, I knew he'd understand all of that too, if only he'd permit himself to see it. But I had to admit, it wasn't going to happen here, and as I realized how tortured he looked in my presence; how tortured he'd looked whenever I'd forced myself into his presence these past few days, I understood it wasn't going to happen through me. He had to come to terms with things on his own, in his own time.

I wished it didn't have to be so long; I wished he would grasp at life, at this second chance with both hands, but it wasn't going to happen right here, right now, like I'd hoped in my very own brand of juvenility. His godly resistance in battle and the adversities of a fight translated into an unforgiving obstinity when it concerned his own mistakes. And he considered his turning a mistake; a fault that he'd have to carry for the rest of his mortal life. Because one falter was all it took for anyone to end up dead, or undead, in our world.

I realized I was staring, and Dimitri was getting increasingly restless with my lack of a response to his declaration. I wondered if it was that predictable for me to end up screaming at every turn I didn't get my way, and I realized that was exactly the case. I'd always been impulsive and rash, but now I wanted to grow up. I wanted to show him his work with me wasn't wasteful. He'd changed me, coaxed me to start being responsible and at least, in part, think on my actions. I was still working on that one, and I suppose now was as good a time as any to exercise some of it. I got up, inciting his very personal Guardian detail to tense in anticipation. But I merely looked back at Dimitri with a calm facade.

"Okay." I said, not wanting to say anything more, lest I reveal the turmoil brewing inside me. At this, Dimitri looked suspicious, and I had to smile. He still knew to be wary around my supposedly 'calm' face, but I wasn't trying anything here now. I'd said all I could, and heard all I had the capacity for; it wasn't helping anything, and I had to leave before it all got to be too much. So, leaving the ongoing sermon, inciting some God somewhere, I'm sure, I left the church, and Dimitri, staring in my wake.

But escaping his words proved to be impossible. Their echo followed me all the way back to my own room in Guardian guest housing, sardonically pushing me to acknowledge them, and the truth they carried. Despite having fought against all the forces of nature and all the rules of law, I had lost. Lost my one and only love to a fate that had been predetermined really, but was no less agonizing. I had known since the Academy that there was no future for us, and yet, when he'd held me in his arms and promised he'd be right by my side all the time, trying his hardest to make it work between us, I'd hoped. Despite knowing the very discouraging route all of my life followed, I'd hoped for something better, something wonderful, with him. But hope is too much; it leads to all the disasters. And so, now was the time I had to give it up.

It was time for me to finally accept all the facts and grow up. I'd had an epic love for a short while, and I'd been part of an incredible miracle, but no one came from such a disaster unscathed, and that was it. This was the battle wound I had to carry for the rest of my life. I had duties to maintain, a friend who needed my protection, and another who needed my apologies. I was reminded of the lives I'd ruined in my relentless quest to get to Dimitri, the most shameful of which had been Eddie's. He'd followed me blindly, uncaring of his own career and reputation once he'd come to know about Dimitri and me, and I hadn't even graced his sacrifice with so much as a thank you.

And then there was Adrian. The guy who'd kept me sane after Russia. The guy who'd provided me with the means to go to Russia in the first place. He'd known even then that it was a suicide mission, and yet, he hadn't tried to stop me, knowing how much I needed that closure. And then, he'd been the one to save my life even in Russia, invading my dreams when I'd been weak and high on Strigoi endorphins running through my blood. And how had I repayed him ? By forgetting he even existed the moment Lissa put the spirit-infused stake through Dimitri's heart. She'd created a miracle, but it had been Adrian who'd started the chain of events leading up to that. And I'd neglected all of that. It was almost crushing, this single-minded focus that I possessed for anything and everything Dimitri, when there were others who needed my attention as well. I had to talk to him. In fact, I had to talk to all of my friends, starting with Eddie.

Giving my disheveled appearance a weary sigh, I dragged myself to the adjoining bathroom and freshened up. Ready to go a few minutes later, I was about to leave my humble abode in search of Eddie when there was a knock on the door. From the bond I shared with Lissa, I knew it was her, and she was incensed, to say the least. I lightly brushed her mind with my own, absorbing any lingering vestiges of darkness, before I opened the door and let my best friend through.

She was still angry, albeit more on the reasonable side now that the anger was her own and not the side effect of her magic. "You went to see Dimitri." It wasn't a question, but I answered anyway. "Yes."

Her exasperation at me right this second almost mirrored Dimitri's back at the Academy. "Rose. I told you he needs some time, and yet, you force him to see you when he's clearly not ready to do so. Do you realize you inciting him in church could have had serious repercussions ?" She was on a tirade. "People are already wary enough of him; he just has to show one sign, one single sign of any emotion other than grateful humility, and he's done. All of our work will be down the drain, and I know you don't want that." She finished on a slightly softer note than she'd started with. I could see from her mind that she felt sorry for me, seeing me for seemingly the first time since she'd entered the room. Her eyes roamed my face, peering into my tired and puffy eyes, and I could feel her kicking herself mentally. She'd just realized I, too, needed her comfort in this messed up series of events. She sighed.

"I'm sorry, Rose." She breathed softly, coming over to stand in front of me and engulfing me in a hug. "I know you think you could help, but please ? Please give him a few days ? He knows he'll have to face the music eventually, but right now, he's too out of it to think about anything other than his time as a Strigoi." She was imploring me to understand something I'd sensed within the first twenty seconds of having seen him after his transformation. But I still understood where she was coming from. As I nodded at her, she smiled slightly, "I'll try talking to him, okay ? He'll have to listen to what you have to say, and then, if he denies wanting to see you or talk to you, I'll be right by your side, kicking his ass, alright ?" She was really hoping it wouldn't come to a point where she'll have to go against either of our wishes, but I had to admit, the thought of Lissa, royal princess extraordinaire, threatening to beat a six-foot seven-inch giant Russian Guardian was funny as hell. Except I couldn't laugh.

All my thoughts centered around the fact of having those words leave Dimitri's mouth. Love fades. Mine has. Does it, really ? Is there such a thing as love eventually fading, petering out into nothingness ? Will I ever be able to do that ? To think about him without my heart burning, or my insides feeling like I was being jack-knifed all the way through ? I didn't know a lot of things, but I knew that forgetting Dimitri Belikov was impossible, and not loving him was not even an option. It was something I had no control over, something I hadn't had control over ever since I first realized I was falling for him. But I couldn't say all that to Lissa. She already had so much to deal with, I couldn't add to the building pressure I could feel at the back of her mind through the bond. So I forced myself to smile, and though I could feel my muscles contorting into a wince, Lissa seemed satisfied enough that I wasn't arguing with her on the subject anymore. She stayed for a while after that, talking about the general things going on around Court, most of which seemed centered around Dimitri. I sighed internally, everything in my life seemed to end up leading to him.

After Lissa left, I remembered I had somewhere to be, but I really couldn't bring myself to move from my seat on the lumpy, Guardian-issued mattress I was left sitting on. All my resolve, all my energy, seemed to have evaporated with each second of Lissa talking. I couldn't really do this; what was I supposed to say ? What could possibly make all this even remotely better ? I had, in my naivety, possibly ruined Eddie's career, and disregarded Adrian's affection. I couldn't have been feeling anymore guilty, and yet, despite everything, my thoughts still took me back to the ill-fated visit to the Church. Why ? Why couldn't I catch a break ? I was tired of returning to those words constantly; and yet, there really was nothing else that could have been so all-encompassingly devastating.

Shaking my head, I made a move to go find some sort of distraction, when there was another knock on the door. Who could it be this time ? I wasn't really up for any visitors right now, but it was like everyone had decided to check on me exactly at the time I didn't want to be found. Opening the door, I expected to find anyone at the door, from Adrian, to Eddie, to Mia, any one of my friends, other than the fairly tall and handsome dhampir standing there. Ambrose.


So, how was it ? I hope I was better than ever, so please let me know your thoughts in the review or the PM section. Your thoughts encourage the best in me. I'll be waiting !

See you all very soon,

Ahluwalia Kaur X