A/N: So, hey back here, all you lovely fellas ! I'm back, and so soon, too. And you know, just this once, I've brought you a really long chapter with the update. I contemplated breaking this down into two chapters, since the readers of my stories all know I can post really short chapters sometimes too, but then the action would have been too slow, and it would just make for the thing to be dragged out without proper satisfaction, so I let it all be in one. Besides, it's my birthday, so consider this a treat from me. (How I wish these were the sorts of gifts I got, but oh, well.) I won't keep you for long. Go right ahead, and I'll see you down there.

DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to Richelle Mead, and no copyright infringement is intended on my part.


Silence. The complete and utter kind, one that makes you hear a drop of water dripping from a lonely faucet too loudly. I woke up to this silence the next time I came around, and honestly I'd had enough of unconsciousness to last me a lifetime with the way I'd been going lately. How many times had it been ? Anyway, I knew I was still in the infirmary; that sterile scent was hard to replicate for anywhere else. But now, there was no beeping from the heart monitor, thank god for that one; and no voices, meaning I was alone, no Christian or Eddie to help me make sense of things. How long had I been under ? It must have only been a few hours, but honestly, the few minutes before the darkness engulfed me this last time were a bit hazy; I could only remember my throat clogging, and the burning sensation of my lungs straining for oxygen that never reached them, wanting to breathe in all the air I could get, but none of it reaching past my throat to where I desperately wanted it to be. However, now, I took several deep breaths that eased my mind a whole lot, because now there was nothing stopping that sweet, precious air from going all the way through my lungs and to my stomach, filling out and straining the muscles in my abdomen almost painfully before I held it, and then let it all out. Once. Twice. Thrice. And then again, for good measure. Now, to face the world.

I let my eyes drift open, lashes fluttering a bit before my focus adjusted enough to piece together that I was in a room. "Nice of you to join us, Little Dhampir." Adrian's voice startled me so much that my heart nearly jumped a foot in the air, even though my body physically couldn't. Yikes. What was with people getting the jump on me ? Some Guardian I was. Wait, Adrian ? "What are you doing here ?" I asked, my voice mildly hysteric, though I'd die before admitting it. Adrian sighed, but gestured towards my bandaged arm, which I'd just realized was no longer wrapped up, instead was resting lightly across my body, only slight pink scars visible where once resided angry red welt-like marks. He'd healed me. I didn't know if I should scold him for risking himself or be grateful no-one would be privy to the marks anymore. I looked up to him, and even though no words came out, my eyes seemed to relay the message quite eloquently to him, for he gave a small smile and got up to brush my hair from where they'd fallen into my eyes. He understood, like always. What had I done to deserve friends like him ? And Eddie, and even Christian, because no Lissa meant he'd respected my wishes enough to not call her in. It made me a horrible best friend, but I just couldn't handle her at the moment.

Thinking of Lissa made me think of Dimitri, and wonder what was happening with him, before I caught myself and berated my mind for wandering into that territory again. Would I never catch a break ? Maybe not, because Love fad- Stop it !

I didn't realise I'd said that out loud until I saw Adrian jump, but his concern was soon waved off. "Where're Eddie and Christian ?" I wanted to talk to the both of them before leaving, because I'd just realised that Adrian being here also meant that it was time to leave, and I didn't want to go without saying goodbye. Not again. Not when I wasn't sure when I'd return to see them again. Besides, they needed to be in top form for Lissa, since I wasn't going to be around anymore, and that required me to be clear, firm and honest with them. "Down the hall. They just stepped out for a minute." He replied and I nodded, thinking of the way the situation would sound best, except how do you go about telling your friends you were going to abandon everything you'd ever wanted and worked for ? Again ?

"You planning on telling them ?" Adrian asked and I nodded, before replying, "Not everything, of course. Tatiana made sure to tell me the meaning of the word 'covert' in an express manner." I smiled slightly. "I just- They need to know. I can't spring this on them at the allocations ceremony. If not for anything else, only because Eddie deserves to know, and directly from me. And Christian needs to pull his head out of his ass." I said, although I knew that he knew I didn't think Christian was wrong in anyway. That was one thing I'd never condone. Cheating was cheating, no matter which way you chose to put it. Lissa'd been wrong in kissing Aaron, compulsion and Avery and all that bullshit aside, because spirit users were the only ones truly immune to that sort of thing. It took a lot for me to admit it, and Lissa never would, but Avery hadn't compelled her. She couldn't. But she could use her gift to implant thoughts in her head, especially when she was drunk and had her walls down, which was exactly what she did. This whole situation with them was messed up, but that was where their problems had first started, and damn if I wasn't going to try my hardest to fix it. After all, I knew the both of them to still be in love to the deepest degree, and even if I couldn't have that, I wanted my best friend to experience that and be happy in my stead. So, it'd have to be Christian who got up the nerve to fix things between them. Even if I had to practically blackmail him into doing it.

The door to the room opened up then, and in stepped the two people I considered my brothers, holding a delicious-smelling paper bag and two coffees to-go. Did I mention I loved them ? I smiled as the two came in, holding up the bag, Christian saying, "Gifts for the bed-ridden." I lightly punched the arm holding the bag, before I practically ripped it from him, inhaling two of the heavenly doughnuts they'd gotten for me before anyone could say anything. The three of them laughed, as I munched on my food, wondering and marvelling at the creamy taste and the return of my lost appetite. Although, to be true, that sense of good mood was too nice to last any longer and I sobered up quickly, realizing it was about time I opened up and told them I was leaving.

"I need to tell you two something, and I need you to not judge me." I said, to both Eddie and Christian, piquing their interest almost instantly. I swallowed, again wondering on the best way to go about this, before I knew that a band-aid approach would serve the same. "I've been assigned as Adrian's primary Guardian." I said, watching for their reactions closely. Eddie frowned, and Christian looked...confused ?

"But you were supposed to be with Lissa." Eddie said, and I nodded. "I was. But then, Lissa is the last Dragomir Princess and my track record isn't stellar. Besides..." I trailed off, looking to Adrian for help.

He took over. "Aunt Tatiana wanted me to attend college, and I agreed, reluctantly, might I add, but she wanted me to have Guardians, and I refused anyone if I couldn't have Rose." He shrugged. Christian was incensed. "What about what Lissa will go through if Rose leaves ?" He asked. "She'll spiral without you, Rose." He turned to me.

"That's where you come in." I said. "Lissa needs you, Christian. She puts on a good front, but the life at Court is getting to her, and as hard as it is admitting it, you ground her. She won't need me so much if she has you to lean on." I implored him to understand. "I know how much you two love each other. Don't let this be the end of you."

I took a deep breath. It was time to bring the truth, or at least half of it, out. "Also, I just think I need to get away." I closed my eyes against them. "It's been too much, what with everything going on, and I need a bit of time to myself before I can face either of them..." I trailed off again, knowing I didn't have to specify who I meant by 'them'. I opened my eyes, expecting to see some accusation or something in both of their eyes, but finding none. I was looking at understanding and compassion instead; so sincere, it nearly drove me to tears again. I swallowed, holding the tears at bay.

And then Eddie frowned. His eyes scanned me, seemingly dissecting everything I'd just told him and reconciling it with everything he already knew about me, and my personality, and my dedication to Lissa, and I saw a light-bulb go off. Oh no.

"There's something else too, isn't there ?" He asked as I tried to shy away from that penetrating golden gaze that rarely missed anything. "What do you mean ?" I asked, nonchalantly. Eddie's gaze hardened slightly.

"I mean there is something you aren't telling us. I know you would never abandon Lissa, not until you were blue in the face from fighting for all that you've worked for all your life. Unless..." He trailed off, thinking. My breath hitched in my throat; I never knew Eddie had gotten so intuitive. "Unless you truly believed you were protecting her by leaving." Realization dawned on him. "You've never abandoned Lissa before. The only time you put someone before her was when you dropped out of the Academy, and even then, you took every possible care you could of her, from halfway around the world. So, the only reason you would ever leave Court now was if you thought whatever you're doing would ultimately protect Lissa. And maybe even Belikov. Nothing else would ever move you. No offense." He said, turning to Adrian, who merely inclined his head in acknowledgement of Eddie's realisation. He looked back at me, an eyebrow arching up. "So, what is it ?" He asked.

Stunned at the level of Eddie's perception into my personality, all I could do for the next few moments was blink in incredulity. Who knew I wasn't an open book just to Dimitri ? "I- " I sighed, failing to make up a response, and looking to Adrian to see if he'd agree to me telling them everything. "It's a covert mission, Eddie. We're researching Spirit." Well, almost everything. "That's all I can say, really." And Eddie smiled, nodding slightly.

"I understand. That's all I needed to know, really." Cheeky person. " When do you leave ?" That was Christian. I sighed again, looking to Adrian. He was the one with all the details, as my impromptu visit to the infirmary had put me behind all the details. "Only in a few hours, as a matter of fact." He replied, in my stead, looking at the timer on the nightstand by the bed. Christian nodded, a forceful jerk of his head that conveyed much more than his words ever could. He wasn't happy about this, but there was little he could actually do about it. Looking at him, I realized I needed a talk with him. Alone. I sent Adrian and Eddie ahead, asking them (quite politely, of course) to get me out of the infirmary while I talked to Christian.

As they left, I turned to him, "You think I'm stupid for doing this, don't you ?" I sighed. He didn't reply, but I knew. "Lissa will be safe here. She has responsibilities that need her attention, and knowing how much she is in support of the Age Decree being taken back, I think she could bring about an actual change, but you have to understand, she carries bad name due to my reputation, and the more she circles the older and established groups of Moroi, the worse it is gonna be." I looked at him, imploringly. "It'll be better for her if she has you, rather than me. I'm sure to drag her down, and despite people shunning you because of your name, you are still a Royal, and that will always be first for everyone." I put a supportive hand on his shoulder. "Do this because this is right. Support her, forgive her, be with her, because you know nothing is gonna be better, for the both of you."

Christian's eyes scanned me for a long moment before his face broke out into his signature smirk; "Getting sappy on me, Rosie ?" I laughed; that was just the sort of comment that would break the seriousness of the room, and yet, it told me he took my words to heart. I knew now that everything would turn out right in Lissa's world; she would have the man she loved beside her, her rightful place in our society, and people she trusted all around her for all her needs. Shame I couldn't be a part of it. But no, I was a part of all that. Just not on the frontlines. Lissa embodied Spirit, and it was because of her that I had ever even considered going so far away in the first place, because I knew this would help her. Maybe not immediately, but someday. And maybe she would see this as another betrayal, but I would essentially be protecting her, in a way; by researching and knowing all there was to know about the dangerous and most wonderful element ever known to Moroi. She would forgive me, too. One day.

I smiled at Christian, wrenching myself free of my thoughts and getting out of bed to head towards my room at Court one last time. After all, rumpled day-old clothes hardly looked good enough for first impressions, as there would be, for we were supposed to meet Adrian's secondary Guardian, and some other people before we flew to Russia within a few hours.

Crap. I had yet to pack, I thought as I looked at the timer and we rushed off, meeting Eddie and Adrian at the nurses' station at the front of the infirmary and heading out. They had the paperwork, but I hardly needed it anymore, and I simply shrugged at it before we made our way towards my room. I wondered if they were all coming with me to keep an eye on me; wouldn't put it past them, either. And still, I just shook my head and followed them.

Reaching my room, the place felt stuffy and suffocated, so I opened the window to let some air in while the guys scattered about; looking at them, they made an odd picture, and I could just shrug, deciding I needed a shower after all the grime of the infirmary. The bathroom reminded me of the cuts and the agony I carried around with me all the time, making my stomach bottom out again, but I couldn't afford to let it consume me now. I shook my head to clear it of my thoughts and stepped in the shower, the water heavenly and just what I needed at the moment. But like all good things, this too must end all too soon, and owing to that, I was out of the shower before I got to enjoy it as much as I wanted to. I had places to be, and things to pack.

Fresh and clean, I moved about the room, picking up items strewn all about, from clothes to little knick-knacks. It wasn't much, but I hadn't learnt the art of organization and that was coming back to bite me now. All the while it took me to pack, the conversation between the guys never stopped, but I didn't feel like joining in, except for a bit here and there, and when I had nearly everything packed, I just stopped for a moment and appreciated the scene before me; it made me feel like the calm before a storm, it was silent, slightly happy, even, but there was something, underneath all the easy banter and smiles that made me antsy, or perhaps it was just me and my paranoid anxiety at leaving this place and Lissa behind.

"All done ?" Eddie asked, breaking off from the conversation he was engaging in; for the life of me, I couldn't remember what it was about. Nodding, I turned. "Yeah, just my..." I trailed off as I opened the drawer of the bedside chest. My stake. It was gone. My eyes must have turned twice their size in panic because in the next second, I had three concerned people hovering about me. "My stake. It's gone." I said, mildly hysterical.

Now, I know it could have just been that I had misplaced it, maybe kept it somewhere I couldn't remember right this moment, but it was more than that. That particular stake I kept with me at all times, even inside the wards where there wasn't really any need to carry weapons on your person, only because it held sentimental value. That was the stake I'd found in Galina's estate, the very one that had helped me in my escape, the very one that I had plunged into Dimitri's chest, and the very one he had mailed back to me with his letters, and coincidentally, also the very stake Lissa had used to restore Dimitri. It was the one thing, the one part of my soul that I could actually take with me, and it was gone. I couldn't part with it, not with the one last thing that would be a semblance of a connection between me and Dimitri. Where was it ?

A sense of urgency drove me and the others to search all about the room, pulling out every drawer and opening every box, only to come up empty-handed. Why ? Why did these things have to happen to me ? Why had I put the stake in the drawer the last night I was here ? I remember putting it in there for safe-keeping before falling onto my bed, and then later going to the bathroom, the agony and mind-crushing depression pushing me to cut myself. If only. If only I hadn't put it there. If only I had been stronger, and not cut myself in the first place. If only. Now, what would I do now ? I didn't have time, I couldn't use it to find out where my stake went, and I could hear Eddie suggesting we file a report, and get a new one before I left. Shame coursed through me. What sort of Guardian was I, losing my stake like that ? Who lost a weapon that was more important than their life ?! My breathing was increasing too rapidly for my liking, but Christian was shaking me, asking me if my stake had any identifications, something to mark it apart from the others.

I nodded. "It has a sort of geometrical print engraved along the base; there's nothing like it." I shook my head. "It must have been stolen, but how ?" I couldn't reconcile the fact that someone had taken my stake. Who would do that ? Why bother ? Every Guardian had their own stakes, two of them, in fact. And you could always get a new one. It was easy to acquire if you were a promised Guardian. So, why ? What would someone want with my stake ? I shook my head again. A report I could do; I wouldn't be here to have it seen through, but I could list Eddie as the one to be given information about it to, and getting new ones wasn't necessary since I had the two stakes issued to me by the Academy during the Promise Ceremony, they just weren't the ones I had such strong connections to. Pushing away the urge to break something, I made my way out of the room, looking back one last time at the bare walls I would be leaving behind. This was it. Goodbye.

The four of us went from Guardian Housing to the Guardian Headquarters, a large, imposing building just a short distance away from the actual palace the Queen presided over. This was the place most important Guardian matters were attended to, the place where every important report was made, from Strigoi sightings, to killings, to attacks, to rescue missions, to missing people reports, or even theft reports. Not very common though, because these sort of trivial crimes were more the work of mere humans; we, as a secret vampiric race had much more devious horrors to deal with. But it happened from time to time, and it was now to my advantage as Eddie and I filled out a formal report detailing the particulars of my stake and where I had last seen it. I wondered if I should list Eddie as the owner in the report, but decided against it. Guardians kept to their business most of the times, but gossip could spread anywhere, and I didn't want to hurt his reputation any more than I already had.

That end of business taken care of, we stopped by Adrian's room to gather his suitcases; yes, plural, as in more than one. I swear he sometimes gave me the complex with his blatantly casual narcissism. But eventually, our party headed towards the direction of the airstrip, far removed from the rest of the Court, the four of us talking all the way; it was like I wanted to gather all the conversation I could have with the others in the limited time frame, except Adrian, who's annoying chatter I'd be having more than enough of. But it was more than that, because I knew that if I stopped talking, my mind would have the room it needed to unleash all the pain in my gut at me again, and that wasn't something I could afford right now, maybe ever. All too soon, we were at the airstrip, and I could see people in the distance, waiting by a jet that looked privately owned by the looks of it.

I looked at the others as we headed over, soon alighting upon the party that had gathered, consisting of the most surprising bunch of people I could ever have thought of seeing together, for this little congregation consisted of none other than my parents, the both of them, surrounded by my father's Guardians and the Queen herself, surrounded by her Royal Guard, talking to each other as if that wasn't the single most shocking scene I had ever encountered. What other surprises would this mission bring ?


Phew ! That was long, and we saw a lot of action here, I must admit, although still, I think I could fit in some more, but now that would be for the next chapter. Drop me a line, let me know your thoughts, and I'll see what I can do for our lovely Rose going forward. You have any ideas what Abe and Janine are up to ? We'll see them soon enough. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did. See you soon, beautiful people !

X

Ahluwalia Kaur