Episode 2- Mr. Pigeon- In which I acknowledge how wonderfully ridiculous this show is. Buckle up, there's not a lot of character or plot development for me to work with in this episode so instead I focused on the comedy and leaned into the sheer crackhead energy that radiates from this show and actually, it was a lot of fun. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

"You only have one day to work on your fashion piece and it must be your own design. In ten hours, your finished presentation will be judged by none other than the great fashion designer Gabriel Agreste! The father of our very own student, Adrien Agreste, in fact!" Mr. Damocles gestured towards Adrien.

So much for trying to keep a low profile at school. Warmth rose to his cheeks and he felt all the eyes in the room turned towards him.

This would be much easier to deal with if I could be Chat Noir right about now.

Rubbing the back of his neck, Adrien tried to shrug off the attention. Nino, being the good friend he was, tried to distract Adrien with a shoulder bump. He was grateful for the smile and thumbs up Nino threw at him; however, the giant picture of his dad's face on the projector screen was not helping things.

He was used to getting attention as a model and as Chat Noir, but this was different. It was… personal and in front of people he wanted to be friends with.

Mr. Damocles continued, "Adrien will model the winning design in his next photoshoot. And now to announce this year's theme…. Derby hats!"

The noise in the room shifted to confused chatter. He heard Marinette's question loudly behind him, "Derby hats?"

Yeah, I thought it was a weird theme too.

Adrien was grateful when the bell rang to let them out of school a few seconds later. Nino had mentioned needing to talk to Mylene about a music project so he stuck around in the courtyard looking for something to do until his friend finished. His father didn't let them hang out a lot outside of school so they usually tried to chat for a bit after classes everyday before his bodyguard drove him home.

He spotted Alya and Marinette across from him, the latter of whom seemed to be very excited about something. He strutted up to the bench they sat on and leaned against the brick wall to his left, hovering near Alya. The notebook she held caught his eye. Inside, skillfully drawn outfit sketches filled the pages. They reminded him of the newer designs he had been modeling for his father recently, except these looked comfortable and way more fun to wear.

"Wow Alya! Those are some awesome designs! I didn't know you had such mad skills." He meant it too. They were really impressive and Adrien knew from his experience in the fashion world just how much work and creativity it took to think up designs like these.

She glanced up at him, shrugging off the compliment. "Uhh...thanks Adrien but I can't take the credit. These sick designs belong to Marinette. They're super cool right?" His eyes followed her hand as she gestured to the other side of the bench. Marinette and her wide, blue eyes could be seen popping up over the edge of the seat.

He had been so engrossed in the art that he hadn't looked up to notice her making a dive bomb behind Alya when he had first walked over. He waved at her and she shyly waved back.

She really moves fast. I hope I didn't interrupt anything personal when I came over.

He wasn't always sure how to act around Marinette. She seemed different after they had first met and he wasn't sure why, especially since the gum issue was resolved and they had agreed to be friends. To be fair, he didn't know her all that well and they hadn't talked much since then. Regardless, her behavior didn't bother him too much. He felt awkward and out of place with other people a lot, but had learned how to keep it in line under his father's watchful eye and strict expectations. It was part of why he enjoyed the freedom of being Chat Noir so much. Not everyone gets a chance like that. He supposed Marinnette felt the same way he did around other people so although it was awkward at times, he found himself being able to relate to her.

Smiling, he raised a finger gun in her direction and said, "You're super talented Marinette. You seriously have a good chance at winning!"

Her expression glowed and she raised herself up a little higher. "Well...ummm, yeah I.. like umm designs that…" At this point, the gestures she made with her hands became smaller and slower. The excited look on her face fell and her eyes drifted intently to the ground. "Umm…" Alya, being the good friend she was, tried to encourage her with two thumbs up and Adrien waited patiently for her to continue.

"...upwards?"

Designs that go upwards? That was beyond even his experience.

Marinette went on trying her best to explain, "...while stopping, I mean...uh..thanks?"

This was the second time today Adrien rubbed the back of his neck. "Sure! And..uh, good luck." Straightening up, he tried to assure her, "Maybe I'll be wearing your derby at father's next photoshoot."

Alya interjected, "That would be amazing, wouldn't it Marinette? After all, you really want to be a famous fashion designer someday right?" At this comment, Marinette eased herself back onto the bench and cracked a small smile at Alya, avoiding eye contact with him. She grabbed Alya's arm.

"Which…. Is um...why I really want to do well with the handmade cat. Sorry, hat." She giggled nervously.

Adrien looked at her and teased, "I would love to see a cat themed hat personally. I would look so cool in that- kinda like Cat Noir!"

If she hadn't been so nervous, Marinette would've gone from a giggle to a full belly laugh. The idea of anything Chat Noir related being anywhere near Adrien was ridiculous to her.

He continued, "But wait, so not only are you talented at drawing, you can actually make your own stuff by hand? My father better watch out."

Marinette closely resembled a lobster at this point. Alya saved her by interjecting, "Isn't it strange though that the theme is derby hats? I mean your father does know that he's asking a group of students to participate right? I mean, what kind of person our age knows how to make a hat besides you?" She nudged Marinette with her elbow.

Keeping her eyes focused on Alya she replied, "I thought sure some people will, you know, get made hats and store decorations for them and stuff. But I still thought it was strange… sorta."

Adrien nodded in agreement. "I did too. I asked my father's assistant, Natalie, about it when she first mentioned it to me. Apparently since it's an annual charity event to raise money with and for students in need across Paris, they get new sponsors every year to match donations made from tickets to the fashion show. The sponsor that contributes the most in advance picks the theme and this year the biggest sponsor is a hat company that does brand deals with my father a lot."

As Adrien finished explaining, Nino came up and joined them. "Hey dudes. Music project is all sorted out. Adrien, ready to go man?" He nodded in agreement and waved bye to the girls, glancing at Marinette as he left. She really was talented and didn't brag about it like a lot of other designers he had met while modeling.

I hope she wins.

"Does this mean I'll have to be squished up in a pocket all evening?" Plagg whined.

"Unless you want to hide inside my hat," Adrien explained. He really did feel bad for the little kwami. It was bad enough being trapped inside his room before he got a miraculous. He couldn't imagine having to be trapped in a school bag or pocket for hours on end.

"Will the hat at least be made out of delicious camembert?" His tiny mouth drooled.

Adrien poked the kwami in his stuffed belly. "You think with your stomach too much Plagg." He chuckled, "I doubt it, but who knows? The winner hasn't been decided yet."

The kwami's eyes widened so much they seemed to take up half his head. "You mean it??"

Adrien threw a pillow from his bed at Plagg and yelled, "Nope!" before running away from him.

Plagg yelled and flew fast towards Adrien who dodged, jumping over the back of his couch and landing on the TV remote. The TV clicked on to a local news station showing a reporter surrounded by pigeons. She was informing the public that, "Pigeons have taken over Paris. This is just one of the many alarming situations giving authorities cause for major concern."

This got their attention. Adrien sat up and was joined by Plagg hovering overhead.

The reporter continued, "Yes, I've just been told that someone named Mr. Pigeon is making an announcement." The scrolling text at the bottom of the screen read, "RROOO ROLOO!" and they could barely make out her mumbling as the camera turned. She chuckled, "I don't get paid enough to say things like that with a straight face."

The camera scrolled upwards at a very unflattering angle to reveal a man in a pigeon spandex suit. He stood on a metal support bar on the Eiffel Tower and was yelling, "Ohhhhh dreary day for Parisians! ROOO! ROOO" He flapped his arms for emphasis and the camera zoomed into his intense gaze. "Sorry to ruffle your feathers but Paris now belongs to the pigeons!"

Adrien nearly lost his mind when the man ended his villain monologue with a "FLAP FLAP ROOO! ROOOO."

You see dear readers, when Adrien first received his miraculous, he thought he would get to fight really cool villains like the ones he read about in comics- the kind of villains that are serious, skilled, and know how to operate in the shadows. Unfortunately for him, this is a children's show about magic jewelry. So instead, our favorite pun master is left fighting this world's version of Batman's Penguin…. That is, if Penguin was created by someone having a fever dream at 3am while eating McDonalds and chugging Nyquil. But I digress.

"Plagg, claws out!" He transformed and quickly lept out of his window. While heading towards where Mr.Pigeon had been spotted, he noticed Ladybug somersaulting and flipping her way across the rooftops.

Act casual. Be cool.

He laid on his side, like a French girl aboard the Titanic about to be painted as pigeons flew together in airplane formations in the sky above.

"Birds of a feather flock together- uh uh ahhhhh CHooooooo." He sneezed as dramatically as a theatre kid in the chorus line who still thinks they're the lead and fell down towards where Ladybug stood. Jumping up to stand on his feet, he explained through a sneezing fit, "I'm allergic to feathers."

With both hands on her hips she retorted, "That's helpful."

"Tell me about it." He was about to sneeze again but pressed his tongue to the roof of his mouth hard in order to stop it. He took a minute to recover and continued, "These birds are only part of the problem. The park keepers in Paris are vanishing without a trace."

Ah yes, park keepers. The only ones who can maintain law and order in the apocalyptic wasteland that is a first world country park. It was no wonder this made Ladybug panic.

Her eyes widened. "WHAT? We HAVE to track down Mr. Pigeon ASAP!"

Chat Noir thought for a minute and asked, "Where are we gonna find him?" because there was no way the hoards of airplane-shaped pigeon groups flying overhead in one direction were headed straight to Mr. Pigeon. There was also no way he could be easily spotted in his pink and pigeon colored spandex suit. There was also no possible, conceivable way at all that the news would still be covering it and reporting his location like they had just done a few minutes prior on TV. Ladybug and Chat Noir were smarter than that and so were their show writers.

Ladybug used her genius brain to think. She had been chosen for this. She could do it. "Hmmm...I don't know where we can find him but I do know where he can find us!"

They made their way to the park and Chat used a conveniently abandoned police hat as a disguise. Police didn't wear black leather as part of the uniform, but the pigeons would never suspect a thing. This plan was genius. They would use his feather allergy in the same way Spiderman used his spidey sense so as not to be taken by surprise. It was like a wide-range radar for evil. He would have to sacrifice clear sinuses for the greater good.

They waited. Ladybug stood behind a tree and Chat Noir scanned the sky. It was about as entertaining as you'd think. He whistled and tried thinking of something to do to pass the time. Glancing at Ladybug gave him some inspiration.

He tapped his foot, slowly at first, and then let the music in his head take over. He danced across the dirt path, bounding forward. He then paused, taking a moment to glance back at Ladybug.

Is she even looking this way?

He got his answer. "Act natural Chat or he'll never show up!"

He brushed off the curt reply. "What do you mean? I am acting natural."

Confidence is key right? Yeah. Yeah it is. Okay, time to go plus ultra! Bring on the moonwalk.

He danced backwards in time with the music in his head. The pigeon spying on them from above was impressed. Ladybug, however, was not. She was too concerned about the possibility of a surprise attack to pay much attention.

The bird flew back to tell his master. Or he would have if birds were sentient and could be impressed by dance moves. But again, dear readers, this is a children's show where the main antagonist dresses like a nacho libre villain so for the second time in this chapter, we shall suspend disbelief.

Back at the park, Chat could feel his nose tingling. He sneezed hard. They had arrived.

A great number of pigeons gathered and rushed towards him. He felt himself being scooped into the air. It was hard to focus. He couldn't breathe and his watering eyes clouded his vision. He swatted at them and yelled, "Stupid pigeons. You're the rats of the sky, you know." It was too late. His shouting was drowned out by the loud flapping of hundreds of pigeon wings.

They carried him across Paris to the top of Le Grand Paris Hotel. During that time, Chat may have lost the ability to breathe freely, but he hadn't lost his sense of humor.

So the birds really do work for the Bourgeois.

Finally, they dropped him on the roof and he seized the opportunity to shake feathers off his suit and to breathe. The birds stared at him, unblinking.

Yep. I'm going to have nightmares about this.

By this time, Ladybug had caught up to him and came close, preparing to fight.

He scoffed, "Where's that bird brain anyway?"

She answered, thinking, "He's gotta be here somewhere."

He was indeed somewhere. Right behind them in fact. Riding up into the sky on an evil pigeon elevator. He whistled into his pigeon call and the birds followed suit. They rose up all around Chat Noir and Ladybug. They were trapped.

Ladybug spoke up, "Call me crazy but I feel like bird seed all of a sudden." Meanwhile, the birds swarmed, getting closer and forming a tighter circle around them.

Chat backed into her and raised his arms, ready to defend himself. "Got any bright ideas, bug?"

She deflected, "You're the cat! Don't you eat these things for breakfast?"

Of course! What else would I eat? Raw pigeons go great with lemonade. He loved her but sometimes her sense of humor was even worse than his. They were perfect for each other that way.

The pigeons created a great, closed dome around them and only parted to allow a tall, metal cage through at the top. It fell over the two heroes, enclosing them further.

When the birds dispersed, Chat and Ladybug were left dumbfounded. Not because they couldn't figure out how to escape but because it was shocking how the pigeons were able to find and carry a cage that large.

Chat stared at them in horror. They were totally jacked. Certified beefcake birds with too many bird abs to count under all those feathered stomachs.

Mr. Pigeon interrupted his train of thought, "RoooOOO! Chirpy day! I'm so ruthless."

-Note: I'm sorry dear readers but I have to interrupt my own story for a moment to confirm that yes, that last bit of dialogue really was a line in the actual episode. I really needed to write this note for my own sanity so I don't read it back one day and cringe thinking I came up with and published of my own free will a line like that. Anyway, carry on. (Note end).

Placing his hands on his hips, Mr. Pigeon declared, "ROooo! ROOoooo! Your miraculous! Give them to me or face the wrath of my feathered friends!" He used the bird call to instruct the pigeons.

They responded by jumping on the roof of the cage Ladybug and Chat Noir were encased in. These pigeons were so jacked from carrying the weight of the metal cage that the sheer muscle mass of their small bodies was enough to push the roof in farther on the heroes below. The birds on the ground shook their rear tail feathers, threatening a firestorm.

Mr. Pigeon took the opportunity to continue monologuing.

He was interrupted by Ladybug shouting to Chat, "There's no floor to this cage and it's not bolted down. On the count of three, lift it with me!"

He smirked, "I've got something cooler in mind. Cataclysm!"

The bars rusted and turned to dust before them. They turned to face Mr. Pigeon.

"Well well," Chat jeered, "Looks like the pigeon is really a chicken."

That didn't stop him. Mr. Pigeon jumped backwards and up onto the balcony ledge. "Me? I'm not flying away! I'm just killing two birds with one stone!" With that, he spread his arms and let himself fall off the balcony.

Chat's eyes grew wide. He and Ladybug rushed forward to grab him though they really didn't have to worry. He was only using the opportunity to reform his pigeon elevator of evil so that he could rise above them into the sky once more like the overly dramatic coward he was. The birds shuffled around to create a throne shaped mass for him. On his bird throne, he was the great Mr. Pigeon. A man who would stare down his own fragile mortality, unafraid. He had only wanted a peaceful existence for himself and the birds in a world that made him nervous... until an enforcer of the law came along. Now he wanted revenge. That was when Mr. Pigeon made a decision. If he couldn't kill his own fear, he would become fear itself, enthroned by repressed memories and crowned with righteous anger.

He sent a hoard of pigeons rushing towards Ladybug and Chat Noir. They were forced to retreat. They had just enough time to shut the metal roof access door behind them when the pigeons hit the other side, creating a large and totally believable dent.

Chat's ring began to flash and beep at him- a somber reminder they were running out of time. It was a birdemic and they didn't have any coat hangers.* "I've gotta get out of here before my secret identity is revealed."

Ladybug walked down the stairwell in front of them, assessing the situation. "Yeah, you wouldn't wanna let the cat out of the bag."

She'd roll her eyes if I tried to make that joke.

He replied, monotone sarcasm lacing his words, "Haha, very funny."

They exited the stairwell at the ground floor and were greeted by Mayor Bourgeois and a group of exasperated tourists. "Ladybug! Chat Noir! I'm in great danger," he hesitated, the nervous sweat glistening on his forehead making him look like a vintage disco ball, "of losing big bucks if my guests leave Paris! You are going to get rid of those pigeons aren't you?"

Chat Noir was starting to feel antsy. Bobbing up and down, he interrupted the man, "Of course we are but before we do, I have an urgent need! And could somebody bring me some camembert?"

Thankfully the mayor took the hint and directed him to a bathroom. The butler brought some camembert and Chat was able to transform back to let Plagg eat and regain his strength. He sometimes jokingly wondered if the time limit was Plagg's way of messing with him to get more cheese.

I need to figure out a way to stay transformed longer if that's possible. That was just embarrassing. He rubbed the back of his neck, thinking back to the Mayor asking if he wanted some kitty litter when he offered directions to the bathroom.

Plagg inhaled the cheese and they were ready for action. Chat met up with Ladybug and discussed the next steps. First, they would follow the birds to where Mr. Pigeon was hiding. Then, they would hit him with a surprise attack because at this point the show writers realized that now would be a good time to have them follow the pigeons instead of heading to a random park. The episode is almost over so it was time for common sense to kick in.

The pigeons lead them to the Grand Palais where they discovered the park keepers locked up in a similar cage to the one they had been trapped in earlier. Unfortunately for them, the poor park keepers were background characters, doomed to suffer the wrath of a Nacho Libre villain with cool whip hair and an attitude to rival the most dedicated Hot Topic customer. They couldn't escape on their own and had to wait for the heroes.

Thankfully, Ladybug and Chat Noir were protagonists so they were able to fight Mr. Pigeon and break the akuma hidden in his bird call. It wasn't without mistakes though. They both got pummeled into the metal cage by Mr. Pigeon before ensuring their victory. In the end though, they captured the akuma and Ladybug used her abilities to put everything back the way it had been before Mr. Pigeon was akumatized.

"Pound it!" They bumped fists and parted ways. It could've been because of the allergic reaction, but the tears in Chat's eyes were real as he watched her go.

About an hour later, Adrien found himself in the school courtyard with his classmates. Mr. Damocles and Natalie walked around to the different booths with his father judging the hats through Skype.

After visiting most of the hat displays, they were down to the last two designs. Marinette ran in at that moment and placed hers on a stand.

Ohhh. I wonder what hers ended up looking like.

He stood on his tiptoes to look around Mr. Damocles to get a peek. He didn't have to wait long to get close however, because her hat was being judged next.

It's just like Chloe's hat.

His father voiced his thoughts and instructed Natalie to turn the tablet back to Ms. Bourgeois' hat.

Looking at it, a thought occurred to Adrien. It's a really cool design but I don't think Chloe would take the time to make something like that.

And of course, he was right. Marinette stepped up to defend herself. "I apologize for the situation Mr. Agreste but I can prove that this derby hat is my original design. Everything on my derby hat is handmade from the embroidery to the weaving of the band to the stitching of the brim- all done by myself and last, there's a special design element that only the true designer knows about." She turned the hat upside down and pointed to its base. "I sign mine." Her name was there, embroidered in golden thread.

Adrien was taken aback. He knew from the gum incident that she could stand up for herself when she wanted. She had done it to him, but this struck him differently. She was standing up for herself to his father of all people. Tilting his head, he stared at her and observed the way she spoke.

He was jarred away from his thoughts when Chloe's hat stand hit the ground behind him. She knew that she had been caught and ran away crying and yelling for her dad like the two-dimensional stereotype of a character that she is in season one. Because of that, everyone pretty much ignored her as she left.

Nathalie turned the tablet back towards Marinette and her hat. His father gave her a compliment, a rare thing for him to give to anyone. "Very exquisite creation. You definitely have the laboring hands of a hat maker so I know you're telling the truth Ms.-?"

Adrien smiled and touched her shoulder. "Marinette."

His father continued, "Congratulations on your demonstration Ms. Marinette. You're the winner."

She glowed. Bobbing her head up and down like chicken, she reiterated the words thank you again and again. Adrien bit back a chuckle. Enthusiasm was contagious.

"Adrien will wear your derby on our next advertising campaign." With that, Gabriel Agreste had finished and Nathalie turned the tablet away.

Adrien went to take a closer look at the hat and to congratulate her. His hands brushed hers and he offered his congratulations, "Awesome job Marinette." She didn't say anything but whole-heartedly returned his smile as he lifted the hat to his head.

Oh no….

He let out a sneeze that nearly knocked him backwards. Marinette caught his eye while he vigorously wiped his nose.

"Uhh…" he started, embarrassed and not really wanting to recall the earlier fight with the pigeons of evil, "Sorry, uh, It's been a long day and I haven't been feeling the best."

Marinette offered to find him a tissue but it was too late. The sneezing came like a wild torrent. He held the hat down as far as he could and walked towards the car to head home. Despite the disastrous fit that followed in the car, Adrien couldn't help but still feel glad she had won.