Chapter 10: Falling Free
All too soon, it seemed, the sun peeked over the horizon, bathing the hill in its warm rays and bright light. It was still quiet, still peaceful and serene on the hill. No one had come to wake them up and for a moment, as Uhtred's mind slowly reconnected to life, he wondered if the nun had sent someone to spy on them as she had promised. Well… threatened was more like it. But, if she had, Uhtred was certain at least Sihtric would have woken up at the intrusion. He would have to question his puppy once the boy woke up.
Uhtred opened his eyes and blinked in the bright morning sunlight. He wanted to curse its existence for a moment but it was just a fleeting thought. The sun's rays on his skin felt nice, comforting. It was much different, waking up nestled between these two men seemingly without a care in the world, than it had been waking up on the ship. Despite the little comfort Finan had brought him all those mornings they slept pressed together, it was nothing like this. He felt Finan's weight at his back and could feel the man's breath on his neck. Not to mention other parts of the man pressed just as tightly against him. A smile spread across his face and for a moment, he considered groping the man in his sleep. But Uhtred quickly realized he was completely entangled with Sihtric. The boy's head was pillowed on Uhtred's arm and his other one, the boy still held tightly in his fingers. Uhtred couldn't help the smile on his face as he realized both facts.
But still, both of his whatever he was going to call them… loves, boyfriends, lovers… partners, friends… everything sounded weird in his head the moment they popped in. He wasn't even sure what they all really were. It was still too new to define, the feelings and emotions still too raw to think about it too much. He just knew Sihtric and Finan were both his. Beyond that, he would think about it at a later date.
Uhtred sighed out and tried to push the weird terminology train of thought from his mind. He wanted to think about how they were both still very asleep and very pressed against him. And he could have fun with that. He wrapped his arm, still held tightly in the boy's grip, around Sihtric's middle and slowly pulled him even closer. Then he wiggled his hips as best he could while so tightly intertwined, grinding against Finan. He bit his lip as his motion also rubbed himself against Sihtric. And fuck, maybe he should have reconsidered but his lust was quickly clouding his mind and before he even realized it, he was sliding his and Sihtric's joined hands down his puppy's stomach. He was glad the boy hadn't put his armor back on and opted instead to remain just in his thin undershirt. He was able to let his palm drag over the muscles he longed to get his tongue on.
Still very much asleep, Sihtric sucked in a sharp breath and let out a soft, breathy moan. It was barely audible and Uhtred could feel the boy's breath against his arm. He smiled and leaned closer, attaching his mouth to the back of his devoted puppy's neck. He traced the ink on the boy's neck with his tongue and Sihtric moaned again, a bit louder, and pressed back against him. Uhtred rolled his hips more between both men as he continued sucking on the boy's neck and dragging their hands lower along Sihtric's body.
Behind him, Finan let out a groan and pressed harder against Uhtred. Uhtred pulled his mouth away from the boy's neck and breathed out shakily. He could feel Finan against him and he wished both his arms weren't trapped by Sihtric. Uhtred attached his mouth to the boy's neck again, probing his tongue across the inked skin again, as he continued groping at the boy.
The boy let out a loud moan and his fingers tightened around Uhtred's and he pulled the Lord's hand away. "Lord!" Sihtric's voice came out as a strangled moan as he acutely became aware of exactly what was going on.
Finan shot straight up, hearing the distress in Sihtric's voice. He blinked and shook his head, attempting to shake the last remnants of sleep from his mind. He detached himself from Uhtred's side and pushed away. "Fuck." He groaned out, realizing as well.
Uhtred rolled over slightly and smiled up at Finan. "Need a hand?"
Finan glared down at him. "No!" He snapped. "You have done enough."
"Oh I haven't done nearly enough." He said as he turned back and tucked his chin against the puppy's neck again.
Sihtric pulled away. He pushed Uhtred's hand away, sat up and turned his back to them. He closed his eyes and shook his head, breathing out softly.
Finan watched the boy with concern. "Sihtric, you okay?"
Sihtric glanced over his shoulder at Finan. He bit his bottom lip and a soft whimper escaped his throat. He nodded his head and quickly looked away. He breathed in deeply and exhaled it shakily and nodded his head again. "I'm… fine…" He answered stiltedly.
Uhtred turned his gaze on the boy. He rolled over closer and reached out to touch the boy's neck, straining his muscles to be able to pet him. "I can give you a hand, too."
Sihtric bit his lip again as he leaned against the touch for a moment. Then he shook his head and leaned away.
"Uhtred!" Finan snapped the man's name loudly.
Uhtred smiled as he laid back down and tilted his head as he looked between them both. "I was asleep. I can't be held responsible for anything."
Finan's eyes narrowed even more and he continued to glare down at Uhtred. "You were not asleep. You knew exactly what you were doing."
Uhtred just smiled. "Neither of you seemed to mind."
"We were sleeping!" Finan snapped and pushed him. Uhtred let out a laugh and sat up. He smiled and reached towards Finan and the Irishman smacked his hands away.
Sihtric glanced at them again. He breathed out sharply and shook his head. "He probably liked that." He mumbled out under his breath. Then a blush spread across his face and he looked away. He hadn't meant to say it out loud.
Uhtred smiled and turned to look at the boy. "Oh I like it rough, boy. You can smack me, spank me, bite me…"
"UHTRED!" Finan snapped again.
"Fine, fine." Uhtred relented and breathed out. "I'm sorry but I couldn't help myself."
"Try harder." Finan grounded out.
Uhtred smirked at him obscenely and opened his mouth. But the glare that Finan still directed at him stopped any further teasing comments. Instead, he nodded his head. "Okay, okay. I will." His face shifted and his smile softened, more relaxed and less sexually charged. He reached for Finan and wrapped his arm around the man's neck. Finan let himself be pulled closer and Uhtred pressed a kiss to him. "Good morning, Fin."
Finan breathed out and smiled, his brief anger melting away. "Good morning."
Sihtric had once again regained control of himself and he turned back to them. He looked at Finan with concern and leaned closer. "Did you sleep alright?"
Finan turned his dark gaze on the boy and nodded his head. "I did, better than I have in years." A smile spread across the boy's face as he leaned closer. Finan pulled away from Uhtred and leaned around him to capture the boy's lips in a quick kiss.
Uhtred watched them for a moment before frowning. "Oy… what about me?" He asked, his eyes following Sihtric's movements. The boy smiled and wrinkled his nose and quickly grabbed Uhtred. He pulled the Lord against him and placed a kiss on his lips before releasing him and straightening up. Uhtred smiled, watching him. "Good morning to you, too."
"Come on." Finan stood up slowly and brushed himself off. "They should be starting to break camp about now. Should be heading out soon." Then he turned and started kicking dirt over the long dead fire.
Sihtric nodded and stood up. He turned automatically towards Uhtred and held out his hand. Uhtred looked like he wanted to argue for a moment but he didn't. He simply let the puppy haul him up to his feet. Then the boy bent down and picked up the furs. Finan picked up the pot and bowls from the night before and then they all headed down the hill towards the camp.
Ragnar was the first to spot the trio approaching the camp. A smile spread across his face as he strode towards them. He reached out and pulled Uhtred against him in a tight hug for a moment. He patted his brother's back before releasing him and stepping away. "You look better." He said, the smile still stretching across his face. "Less… scraggly without all of this." He lifted his hand to Uhtred's face and tugged at the shortened hair on his chin.
Uhtred smiled and batted his hand away. "Hild did request me to be presentable."
Ragnar let out a laugh. "Were you ever presentable?"
Uhtred rolled his eyes and glared at his brother, but there was no real malice behind the gesture. In fact, Uhtred was trying hard to hold his composure and not burst out laughing. There was a hint of a smile on his face as he pushed around Ragnar and strode away, across the camp.
Ragnar laughed again as he watched him. Then he shook his head and turned back to Finan and Sihtric. He glanced at Sihtric before turning his attention to Finan. "Hild told me it got a little too… loud for you both. I can't even begin to imagine what happened to you but I am thankful my brother has you to help him deal with everything. You are a good friend to him."
Finan blinked for a moment and nodded his head, too shocked to say anything. He had thought Uhtred's brother didn't care for him at all. The kind words and tone of voice seemed to convey something else and Finan smiled at the man.
Ragnar turned his gaze on Sihtric and reached out to clap the boy on the shoulder. "Hild said you were keeping guard over them."
Sihtric breathed out and nodded his head quickly. "Yes, Earl Ragnar. I… did…" He faltered over the words and nodded his head again.
Ragnar continued to smile at them. "My brother is lucky to have friends like you both. Now come on. Let's get something to eat before we leave." He turned.
Finan and Sihtric exchanged a quick look and Finan shrugged. Then they hurried to catch up with the Dane.
… … ...
They rode for much of the day. Ragnar led the group, keeping his horse well in front of them. Hild trailed a bit behind him and most of their men flanked her. Uhtred, Finan, and Sihtric rode towards the back of the group, trying to keep out of earshot of the rest. It really hadn't mattered much in the end. Uhtred and Finan both were nearly out of breath just riding their horses. There was no way they could have held any sort of conversation up between them.
Sihtric kept a close eye on them, weaving his horse around them. He knew his Lord was stubborn and not likely to admit he needed a break. And Sihtric was quick to realize Finan held the same pride. He couldn't blame either of them. He understood the need to prove themselves to those around them, that they were useful and not the burdens they both must have felt themselves to be. Sihtric kicked his horse forward and cut through their band until he rode alongside Hild.
The nun turned towards him and smiled. "Sihtric." She nodded her head.
Sihtric averted his eyes and cleared his throat. "Lady…" His voice came out more clipped than he meant it to.
Hild breathed out and shook her head. She leaned closer to him and dropped her voice. "Sihtric, I am sorry about yesterday. I did not mean to come down so hard on you. I had not realized your… affections…" She smiled and shook her head. "I do not know how I missed them. But I know Uhtred well enough to know not many can say no to him."
Sihtric breathed out and willed himself not to blush at her words. He knew he failed miserably and he would need to work on that. He cleared his throat and kept his voice low. "I… did… say no." He said softly. "And I promise I will… continue to say no… until they are better."
Hild smiled at him. "It is truly none of my business… but… I do think their recovery needs to be the priority. We need Uhtred."
Sihtric nodded his head. "Yes, Lady, we do." He breathed out and glanced behind them. "That's why I came to speak with you." He said a bit louder and looked back at her. "I believe the Lord is tiring even if he won't admit it. I think a break would do everyone some good."
Hild glanced back, following his gaze, and nodded her head. "Yes. You are right. Earl Ragnar."
Ragnar glanced over his shoulder at her voice. He reined in his horse and slowed until he wedged his mount in between Hild and Sihtric. "Yes, Lady?"
"We need to stop." She said adamantly, nodding her head.
Ragnar frowned for a moment and opened his mouth to argue. But then understanding flashed across his eyes and he nodded his head. "Yes… I hadn't considered that but yes. You are correct, as always." He said with a smile. He spurred his horse forward and then turned the beast and held up his hands to address the band. "We are in no hurry to return to Wessex." He called out. "And we all deserve a break and a leisurely pace. We will camp here for the rest of the day."
Sihtric smiled and nodded. "Thank you." He turned his horse.
"Sihtric." Hild called his name in a warning tone.
The boy nodded his head, understanding her meaning right away. "I will keep them under control." He promised and headed back to the two men he doubted he could really keep under control. But he would try. He swallowed and shook himself as he drew closer. "Earl Ragnar said we're to stop for the day."
Uhtred was leaning forward, his palms pressed against his horse's withers. He breathed out heavily and narrowed his eyes into a glare at Sihtric. "I doubt Ragnar decided this on his own."
Sihtric inhaled deeply and looked away. He didn't answer as he dismounted his horse.
"It does not matter whose decision it was." Finan said as he likewise slumped over his horse. "Be glad for it." He said, looking sideways at Uhtred. "You know we would not have lasted much longer. Stop letting your pride consume you. Boy, help me down."
Sihtric's eyes widened and he nodded his head. He stepped around his horse and moved closer to Finan's. He grabbed the reins from Finan and held the creature still with one hand as he reached up with his other. Finan braced his hand on the boy's shoulder as he swung his leg over. His foot faltered and slipped from the stirrup but Sihtric caught him easily and helped him to the ground. Finan smiled widely at him, his arms still around the boy, and Sihtric blushed and looked away.
"Thank you." Finan said softly as he detached himself and stepped away.
Sihtric nodded and turned towards Uhtred. He stepped closer and yanked the reins from the Lord's hands. Finan followed him and took the reins. He patted the large horse on the flank. Sihtric looked up at Uhtred and held up his arms. "Lord."
Uhtred continued to glare down at both of them. But his arms were shaking and he could feel the tremors going down his whole body. He wouldn't admit it aloud but he knew he couldn't get down on his own. He wasn't entirely sure he could even stand on his own. He gripped the saddle as hard as he could and slowly lifted his leg.
Sihtric moved closer and wordlessly helped the Lord to the ground. The boy held him tightly for a few moments longer until Uhtred nodded his head. Only then did the boy pull away but he didn't move far. He kept his eyes on Uhtred and was quick to offer a hand when the Lord faltered. He did the same for Finan until Hild joined them and finally convinced Uhtred to sit down and rest. Sihtric smiled at her as he took the reins of all three of their horses and led them off, towards the makeshift corral the men were making.
Uhtred continued watching Sihtric for a moment longer and he was clearly straining hard not to follow the boy.
"Stay, Uhtred." Hild commanded as she dropped down beside him.
Uhtred turned his gaze towards her, frowning for a moment. Then his expression shifted and he sighed deeply and leaned forward a bit. "I have always cared for my own horse. A warrior should care for their mount just as much as their sword."
Hild nodded her head, understanding. "You will. When you are able."
Finan smiled and bumped his shoulder into Uhtred's gently. "It'll take longer if you keep denying help and refusing to rest."
Uhtred breathed out again and nodded his head, his fight seeping out of him as he leaned against Finan. "I know." He admitted softly. "It's just… very difficult for me… to relinquish myself like this."
Finan laughed softly and rested his chin against Uhtred's shoulder. "You let me take care of you for the last few months."
Uhtred breathed in sharply and glanced away. "That was because I'd given up." He admitted softly. "I don't really remember much… but I gave up… I was waiting for you to let me die."
Finan pressed closer to his side. "Never." He whispered.
Hild leaned forward and reached out to place a comforting hand on Uhtred's knee. "And now you need to let us take care of you. Of both of you." She added, looking at Finan.
Finan lifted his chin from Uhtred and nodded his head. "We do."
Hild smiled and tilted her head. "Or if you do not want my help, at least let Sihtric take care of you. He's been waiting a long time for you to come back."
Uhtred nodded his head slowly and shifted his gaze. He could just barely see the boy, brushing out the coat of one of their horses. "I will let the boy take care of me."
"Uhtred." There was a warning tone in Finan's hissed voice.
Uhtred turned to frown at him. "I did not mean anything by that!" He snapped, keeping his voice low.
Hild smiled and rolled her eyes. "I'm not sure I believe that."
Finan smiled again and leaned his head against Uhtred's for a moment. "I'm not sure I do either."
Uhtred pulled away from Finan and Hild both. He crossed his arms and leaned forward, hunching in on himself. "I can control myself."
Hild raised an eyebrow. "I seem to remember someone slipping into the King's sister's tent seconds after he told you she was off limits."
Uhtred flinched slightly at that and straightened up. He turned back to Hild and tilted his head. "How is the Lady Gisela?" Hild didn't answer right away. She looked away for a moment and breathed out. Uhtred's eyes widened. "Hild, has something happened to her?"
Hild turned back and shook her head. "No, she was fine the last I saw her. She is in hiding from her brother. He tried to marry her to your uncle, to barter for his aid."
Uhtred frowned and shook his head. "Guthred said he sold me to gain my uncle's favor."
"Your uncle wanted you dead." Hild sighed deeply and shook her head. "He wanted your head as proof. When the King said he sold you into slavery instead, Lord Aelfric…"
"Do not title him!" Uhtred scoffed, interrupting her. "He is no Lord of Bebbanburg! He stole that from me!"
"Alright, alright." Hild lifted her hand and smiled. "Aelfric pulled his support and Guthred offered his sister. Gisela went into hiding immediately. Only Sihtric knows her location. He's gone to see her a couple times, when we would be forced to stop the search for you."
Uhtred tilted his head slowly. "He's spent time with her?" He asked softly.
Hild nodded. "He spent most of the winter months with her."
Uhtred breathed out slowly and his eyes searched out the boy again. He had finished and was starting on another of their horses. Uhtred wasn't completely sure exactly what he was feeling at hearing his boy had spent time with a woman he himself had chased after. There was no real love between Uhtred and Gisela, he was sure. Just an attraction and, he thought at the time, a need for them both to undermine Guthred in a way the pretender King couldn't stop. Uhtred had enjoyed lying with her the few times he had. And he might consider it again, one day, but he didn't love her. She was free to love and bed whoever she wanted. But that still didn't stop the jealousy spiking in the pit of his stomach at the idea of his loyal puppy being with her. If that was indeed what had transpired. He couldn't fathom any other reason for his boy to seek her out.
Finan seemed to almost read Uhtred's thoughts. He leaned closer again and brushed against him. "Ask him." He said softly.
Uhtred shook his head. "It isn't my business." He said and tried to push it from his mind. But his eyes kept straying to the makeshift corral and to the boy as he cared for their horses.
Hild left them shortly after that. Uhtred and Finan kept to themselves, sitting mostly in silence and watching the camp around them. It was almost second nature to them after all, to just sit together silently. Hild brought them some food and they picked at it lazily. They had lost sight of Sihtric at some point and their eyes searched but they couldn't spot him anywhere.
"Stop worrying." Finan said as he stretched out on the ground beside Uhtred. "Lay down with me." He reached up and grabbed at Uhtred's shoulder. The man sighed but let Finan pull him down.
It was well over an hour when Sihtric found them, asleep in the grass. The rogue came up behind them and smiled down at them. He knelt down and leaned forward a bit, hovering just over their heads. He hated the idea of waking them, but he also knew they needed water and they needed to move around. Some light movement and light exercise, to get their muscles working again. The boy breathed out, watching them, and smiled. The sudden desire to kiss them both awake tugged at him but he pushed it away. There were too many people around, milling about the makeshift camp. Instead, he bent down even closer. "Lord." He said softly and reached out to touch the man's shoulder. "Lord?" He said a bit louder. "Finan?"
Finan opened his eyes first and smiled up at Sihtric. He squinted a bit in the bright light clinging around the boy's form, making him seem to glow. "Hey, pretty."
Sihtric pulled his hand back and rubbed his hand over his face. He breathed out and looked away but he couldn't hide the smile on his face and the slight flush on his cheeks. "Hey." He said softly, not looking at Finan.
Finan smiled again and let out a soft laugh. He sat up and pushed against Uhtred's shoulder softly. "Wake up. We fell asleep."
Uhtred pushed his hands away and let out a groan. "Everyone keeps telling me to rest and when I try to, you wake me up!"
Sihtric smiled as he leaned forward again and peered down at Uhtred. "You need rest, yes. But you also need to move."
Uhtred glared up at him. "That is a contradiction, boy!"
Sihtric rolled his eyes as he hooked his arms under Uhtred and pulled him up without letting him protest further. "Just get up. I am in charge of your recovery and you will listen to me… Lord." He added for good measure as he continued to haul Uhtred up. "Fin?"
Finan was quick to sit up and he nodded his head. "Aye." He said as he stood up, nodding again. "No complaints from me. You look well equipped to handle us." Sihtric's face reddened again and his eyes widened and Finan realized what he'd said. "I meant… you look…"
Uhtred smiled. "You mean he's hot."
"No." Finan shook his head and paused. "Well yes." He smiled sideways at Uhtred. "He is rather appealing. But that's not what I was getting at. I meant he looks… well… you know what I mean. You saw him."
Uhtred smiled again and nodded his head. "Oh yes. I did see you, boy. And I want to lick every inch of your extremely toned body."
Sihtric quickly turned away and breathed out. His gaze scanned the immediate vicinity but it didn't look like anyone was close enough to hear. He swallowed and shook his head. "Come on. Nothing too strenuous. We'll just walk the camp for a bit until you tire."
"Oh yes." Uhtred said, his voice dropping a few octaves. "Lead us. I will gladly follow behind you just to watch that ass move."
"Lord!"
