Chapter 13: Misseri

"Married!" Finan hissed as he crowded closer to Sihtric, brushing against him. He kept his voice low as they packed their horses. "After everything he said… everything he promised… calling me his home… saying he couldn't stand the thought of me leaving... telling me he couldn't say the words but said he felt the same when I told him I was in love with him!" Finan clenched his jaw and ground his teeth together in anger. It flared hot inside him and he couldn't ever remember being so fired up, not even aboard the Trader. His attention wasn't fully on what he was doing and he pulled a little too hard on the cinch of the saddle. His horse stamped her hoof and swiveled her head around to snap her large, blunt teeth at him.

Sihtric saw her movement and grabbed Finan's arm. He yanked the other man out of the way and pressed in closer to the mare. He touched his hands to her neck and whispered soothing words and sounds to her. She flicked an ear towards his voice and snorted loudly and tossed her head. Sihtric quickly adjusted the cinch, loosening it until he could buckle it correctly. Then he reached out and scratched at the mare's ears for a moment and she seemed placated enough and turned her head back around to nose at the trough.

Finan breathed out and shook his head. "Thanks. You're really good with horses." He said softly with a hint of awe in his voice. "I've noticed."

Sihtric nodded his head and stepped back. His arm brushed against Finan's and he didn't move away. He leaned against the man for a moment as he breathed in sharply. "I… I had to be…" He said slowly. "I uh… I spent a lot of time with them… after my mother died." He shivered a bit at the revelation and looked away.

Finan nodded and leaned harder against him as he watched him. He wanted to ask more but he didn't. He knew the boy didn't speak much of his time before he came to be in Uhtred's service and Finan didn't want to pry, didn't want to rush him. Sihtric would share what he wanted when he was ready. It may have only been a month or so since Finan had been rescued, since he met Sihtric, but he still felt drawn to the younger man. He couldn't explain it and he didn't even try. It was the same weird connection he'd felt the moment he set his eyes on Uhtred. He just felt like they were both meant to be his and him theirs. And he felt his anger at their missing counterpart flare again as he thought about him. He shook his head and breathed out and crossed his arms. "I want to hit him!" He hissed out. "I want to shake him and smack some sense into him! Did he even for one second consider how this would affect us? Affect this whatever thing we've been trying to start for weeks? I have been waiting months to get my hands on him again and I fucking swear…" He clenched his jaw again and practically growled in his anger.

Sihtric breathed out and nodded his head. "I spent over a year dreaming about him… I never thought he would look at me like he does… I never thought anyone would look at me like either of you…" He added, dropping his gaze to the ground with a smile for a moment. He sighed out deeply again and kicked at the ground. "If this changes everything, I…" He bit his lip and couldn't finish his thought. He shook his head and voiced another thought. "I keep going over it in my head… maybe he really did it just to keep her and the twins safe. It almost makes sense. Maybe it really does mean nothing to him."

"He fucked her, Sihtric." Finan growled out. "More than once, I'm pretty sure. Then gets sold and when he comes back, he has kids! Now he's married her and they're a fucking family! If he hadn't been sold, he would have ended up marrying her anyways!"

Sihtric frowned and his mouth dropped open. "You can't know that!"

Finan snorted and shook his head. "What does he need us for?"

Sihtric dropped his gaze to the ground and bit his lip. "Do you really think he cares so little for us?" He asked softly.

Finan shrugged. "He certainly didn't ask us what we thought. There was no consideration at all. He fucking asked her in front of us! And then made us watch!"

Sihtric groaned and nodded his head. "Gods, I wish she hadn't interrupted us, if she had just waited a few hours."

Finan growled out again and nodded his head. "It has been years, boy. I was on that ship for over three years! I've had no problem waiting until we were healed and until you were comfortable with me… but fuck! It's been a long time and I just wanted something!"

Sihtric glanced sideways at him. He watched Finan for a moment, listened to the way the man breathed out and he bit his lip again. "I am." He said softly.

Finan looked at him and frowned, not following. "What?"

Sihtric swallowed and opened his mouth slowly. "Comfortable… with you…" He breathed out. "I am, I mean. I am comfortable with you." He said awkwardly and smiled. "I trust you… and I really wouldn't object to you now."

Finan raised an eyebrow. "Without Uhtred?"

Sihtric looked away and sighed. "Gods… I want him, too. But if he doesn't want us anymore…" He shook his head and sucked in a sharp breath. "I would be fine… with just you."

Finan let out a growl and shook his head. "No." He breathed out, forcing himself to look away. Because the boy's words were going straight south and he just wanted to grab him and push him against the wall. "I don't want to rush you."

Sihtric rolled his eyes as he quickly turned and pressed his arm against Finan's chest. He pushed the older man roughly and Finan stumbled backwards into the wall. They were well hidden in the dark corner of the stables, blocked both by the horses and the shadows that clung to the wall. Sihtric moved in closer, pressing his body against Finan's and pinning the older man. Sihtric attached his mouth to the man's throat and scraped his teeth against Finan's skin roughly.

"Sihtric!" Finan groaned out the boy's name and tangled his hands in his armor, pulling him closer.

The boy traced a line with his tongue up to Finan's ear, nibbling and sucking as he went. "Tell me to stop if you want to." He whispered hoarsely before sucking the fleshy part of Finan's earlobe into his mouth and biting at it.

"Stop!" Finan growled out but his hands were still holding the boy close.

Sihtric smiled as he pulled away just enough to look at him and he shook his head. "Mean it and I will." Finan growled again and pulled Sihtric closer and dipped his head forward to capture the boy's lips. He forced his tongue between the boy's lips and Sihtric moaned into his mouth. He trailed his hands down Finan's body, digging his fingers into the leather as hard as he could. He'd rather run his fingers down the man's naked body but they didn't exactly have the time to disrobe. He wasn't sure how much time they had. They could be interrupted at any moment, they were supposed to be preparing to leave. His fingers found Finan's belt and made quick work of loosening it enough that Sihtric could shove his hands down the front of Finan's pants without hesitation.


(They fool around a bit. But as this is FFN and they don't want adult words, no adult words. Check me out over at AO3 is you want to read the adult words.)


"Are you… okay?" Finan huffed out.

Sihtric smiled up at him again and nodded.

Finan breathed out deeply, keeping his fingers tangled in the boy's hair as the last of his orgasm seeped out of him. He was nearly certain he'd pulled most of the boy's hair from its tethers and they would have to tie them again. He glanced down, meeting Sihtric's glazed over eyes and he smiled. He opened his mouth but a sudden voice stopped him and he looked up.

"Finan?" Uhtred was walking up the aisle in front of the stable. He squinted his eyes, trying to see into the dark corner. "Fin, what are you doing back there?"

Finan kept his hand on Sihtric's head, making sure the boy stayed down and kept out of view. He opened his mouth again but didn't get a chance to answer.

Ragnar stepped closer, a smile on his face. "Uhtred!" He clapped the man on the shoulder and then wrapped his arm around him. He turned Uhtred and started steering him away. "I wanted to discuss a matter with you, one of utmost importance…" Their voices trailed off as they headed back down the aisle.

Finan breathed out and untangled his fingers from Sihtric's hair. He moved his hands to the boy's shoulders and grabbed at his leather. He hauled the boy up and pressed his mouth to his. He tasted himself on Sihtric's tongue in a messy and filthy kiss and he growled possessively. Sihtric's head swam for a moment, still a bit dizzy. He breathed out and leaned heavily against Finan when the Irishman pulled away. Finan smiled. "Turn around and tilt your head back. Let me see if I can fix your hair." The boy lifted his hands to his head and Finan clicked his tongue and shook his head. "No, I pulled it free. I will fix it." He said. Sihtric nodded his head and turned. Finan quickly untied Sihtric's hair and ran his hair through it a few times, smoothing the locks back together. Sihtric closed his eyes, breathed out, and leaned back against his touch. Finan smiled as he twisted the boy's hair and tied it as close to the way it was styled as he could. "I think that's right." He said as he finished and pulled his hands away.

Sihtric tilted his head and shrugged his shoulders as he turned around. "It's perfect." He said with a lopsided smile. He reached out and tangled his fingers into Finan's hair and gave the shorter locks a quick tug. Finan smiled and leaned into the touch. "Next time…" Sihtric said as he pulled away. "I yank your hair."

Finan's eyes widened a bit in concern. "Was I too rough?"

Sihtrich shook his head as he stepped back. "You could never do anything to really hurt me." He said, shrugging his shoulders again. "I am used to the pain."

Finan's eyes widened more and he shook his head. "Sihtric, you shouldn't…"

"Finan!" Uhtred's voice rang out as he once again strutted towards the stables. He paused in his steps and frowned. "Sihtric… I was looking for you as well."

Sihtric turned towards him and regarded him for a moment, staring at him over their horses. "I have been right here with Fin." He answered dryly as he moved closer to his horse and touched her neck. Finan moved to stand beside him and dropped his gaze to the horse as well.

Uhtred moved closer, the frown still lacing his face. "You were here? When I was a moment ago?"

"I was." Sihtric answered, nodding his head.

Uhtred tilted his head and glanced at Finan. "I didn't see you… I only saw Finan."

Sihtric shrugged indifferently. "I do not know how you missed me, Lord. I have been right here with Fin, readying the horses as was asked of me. I have never lied to you and I won't start now."

Uhtred balked and shook his head. "I never accused you of lying! I just… I didn't see you earlier. I'm sorry."

Finan snorted out and shook his head. When Uhtred looked at him, he shrugged and shook his head again dismissively. "Nothing, Lord."

Uhtred looked from one to the other, completely at a loss. He sensed that both were cross with him but he wasn't entirely sure. The only thing he could think of that might have upset them since that morning was Gisela. But surely, they couldn't be upset over that. It was just a few ribbons and some silly words. It didn't mean anything to him but it would keep Gisela and his children safe while he wasn't there to do it himself. It certainly didn't mean he didn't still want to get his hands on both of them as soon as possible.

"Uhtred." Ragnar was beside him again, leaning against him and smiling. "No time to waste. We're leaving within the hour. Need to get ready."

Uhtred glared over his shoulder at his brother and pushed him off. "I know!" He snapped, turning towards him. "I said we are leaving. As soon as we are ready."

"We're ready, Earl Ragnar." Sihtric said as he pulled his horse's reins loose. He patted her neck as he turned her. Finan moved back and when Sihtric led his horse out of the stable, he quickly untied his mount and followed without a word.

Uhtred watched them as they walked by without further comment and he breathed out. He needed to talk to them, to explain. He needed to make sure they understood his clear intentions in marrying Gisela. He certainly had enjoyed his time with her but that didn't mean he wanted to continue. Maybe he needed to beg for their forgiveness as well, drop down on his knees in front of them and beg.

Ragnar raised an eyebrow curiously as he watched his brother's men walk away. He let out a laugh and slapped Uhtred on the shoulder. "You are in trouble."

Uhtred breathed out and nodded his head. "So it seems."

"What did you do?" Ragnar asked, moving closer. He leaned against one of the hitching posts and smirked at his brother.

Uhtred turned towards him and shrugged his shoulders. "Something they are blowing out of proportion. I did it just to make sure Gisela and my children are safe while we are gone."

"What did you do?" Ragnar pressed.

"I married her." Uhtred answered flatly and continued before Ragnar could even open his mouth. "Just to keep her brother from trying to do the same to her again. Or from Alfred or my uncle Aelfric. I just did it to keep them safe."

Ragnar tilted his head. "Are you sure that is the only reason? She is pretty and she's strong. Lots of fire in her. And you obviously cared for her once."

Uhtred rolled his eyes and shook his head. "It has been over a year. A lot has changed."

"But if it hadn't?" Ragnar insisted.

Uhtred frowned for a moment, thinking of Ragnar's words. "You mean if I wasn't betrayed by Guthred? That is a stupid question, Ragnar, even for you. How am I to know what would have happened?" He scoffed and shook his head. He had no idea what the last year might have been for him if Guthred hadn't sold him. He shook his head again and sighed. "I wouldn't have met Fin and you wouldn't have been sent to save me." Uhtred's chest ached for a moment at the thought of his Finan left on that ship, still alone and cold and miserable. "Halig would still be alive…"

"Maybe." Ragnar nodded his head. "Or he might have died just as easily on the battlefield under Guthred's lead. Your other boy, too."

Uhtred nodded his head and breathed out. "Guthred is a fool. He doesn't have the mind or heart of a warrior. Or a King. He is an idiot who would have gotten us all killed in time."

Ragnar nodded his head. "Most likely. And Gisela?"

Uhtred breathed out and shrugged. "I would have fought Guthred against marrying her off and would have demanded to marry her myself when she thought herself pregnant. I might have loved her some day." Ragnar raised an eyebrow and tilted his head. He didn't say anything but Uhtred didn't need him to. He could read his brother's thoughts as clearly as if he could actually see into the man's head. Uhtred sighed out and shook his head. "Okay, I get it. I should have at least told them beforehand."

Ragnar's eyes widened and he pushed off the hitching post. He pushed Uhtred and shook his head. "You didn't even tell them?"

Uhtred stumbled back and glared at him. "No, okay? I wasn't thinking!"

"Do you ever think?" Ragnar rolled his eyes and shook his head. "No wonder they are cross with you!"

"Alright!" Uhtred snapped, throwing up his arms. "Can we drop it now? And give me just a moment?"

Ragnar nodded his head and laughed again. "But only a moment, brother. We do not have time for you to hump your way through an apology."

Uhtred glared at him again and waved him off before spinning on his heels and strutting off. He weaved through the streets until he reached the castle gates. Several men were already gathered there sitting atop their horses, packed and ready to go. Uhtred spared a moment to glance over them, recognizing several of them. It was a small army that Alfred was sending with them. But his eyes kept searching until he found the two men he needed to speak with before they departed. He knew they would get very little time alone once they did. "Finan!" He called out, waving his arm. "Sihtric."

They stood near the front of the brigade with Steapa and Aethelwold. All four men turned to look at him as he walked up. Finan nodded his head and Sihtric wouldn't look at him. Aethelwold smiled and lifted his arm, his whole body seeming to wave with the motion. "Uhtred, uncle Alfred is sending me with you. He wants me dead, I know it." The young man said with a wide smile on his face.

Beside him, Steapa rolled his eyes and shook his head. "You should not say such things."

Aethelwold smiled widely and let out a laugh. "Least of all, not in front of you. But it is the truth."

Uhtred nodded curtly at him and shifted his gaze to Finan and Sihtric just behind him. "Fin, Sihtric, if I may, I need a quick word with you."

"Lord, we are preparing to leave." Sihtric said stiffly.

Finan nodded. "Aye, we are. Ye best get ready. Don't want to keep Earl Ragnar waiting."

Uhtred narrowed his eyes as he drew closer, moving in between Finan and Sihtric's horses. He glared up at Finan and shook his head. "My brother does not lead this army. This is my task and all… follow… me…" His words faltered as he noticed the red marks along Finan's neck, up to his ear and he thought even the man's earlobe was pinker than it should have been. "Fin." He pressed closer to Finan's horse and lowered his voice. "Did something happen? Were you attacked?"

Finan smiled as he glanced over Uhtred's head at the boy. Sihtric's face colored a little as he smiled and bit his lip and looked down at his hands. Finan glanced back at Uhtred and tilted his head, a wide smile on his face. He leaned a bit closer to the Lord and kept his voice low. "The boy is very enthusiastic and he has a very talented mouth."

Uhtred's eyes widened and his mouth dropped open at the implication. He opened his mouth but he didn't get to question either of them further. Ragnar was there again, interrupting him yet again. He turned and glared up at his brother. Ragnar was on his horse and held the reins to Uhtred's. The man simply smiled at him and held the reins out towards him. Uhtred continued to glare as he snatched the reins from Ragnar's outstretched hand and walked around the horse. He grabbed the saddle and pulled himself up onto the stallion's back. "I hate you." He hissed under his breath as he guided the horse towards the front of the army.

Ragnar let out a laugh and kicked his horse forward, moving to follow Uhtred's. "Let them calm down." He said softly, leaning closer. "You can have your moment later. We need to get going."

Uhtred glared at him again as they stopped in front of the gates and waited for the guards to open them.

… … ...

They'd just barely begun their journey to Northumbria when Aethelwold started with his incessant whining and once the annoying twit opened his mouth, he wouldn't stop. "How much longer until we can take a break?" He nagged for what seemed the millionth time. "We have been riding for hours!"

Beside him, Steapa rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Are you sore, Lord?"

Aethelwold nodded his head. "I am, Steapa. All over! Aren't you?"

The King's guard shook his head. "I am perfectly content to ride for hours yet. We are making good time. We need to get to Eoferwic."

Aethelwold threw back his head and let out a long, loud groan. "Eoferwic is too far away!"

Ragnar and Uhtred were riding in the front of the brigade, with Father Beocca and Hild right behind them. The Dane leaned closer to his brother and dropped his voice. "Does that boy ever shut up?"

Uhtred breathed out and shook his head. "He doesn't."

"Maybe I should pray to his uncle's God that he gets exactly what he wants." Ragnar said with a smile. "As Aethelwold said, Alfred wants him dead."

Uhtred smiled, despite his sour mood, and shook his head. "Now, dear brother, that would be a great tragedy for us all to endure."

"Indeed." Father Beocca mumbled under his breath.

Uhtred raised an eyebrow as he glanced back at him. "Father Beocca!" He said the priest's name in a chastising tone even though he was smiling at the man.

Father Beocca straightened up in his saddle and shrugged. "I apologize. I misspoke." Beside him, Hild let out a laugh and Uhtred smiled as he watched them both.

"Uhtred!" Aethelwold's voice cut through the air loudly. "Uhtred, how much longer until we get there?"

Uhtred breathed out and turned in his saddle. His eyes passed over Finan and Sihtric, riding about a third of the way back, before he tore his gaze away from them and looked at Aethelwold. He longed to ignore the annoying rightful King, as he called himself, and weave his horse through the army until he could ride beside Finan and Sihtric. But he didn't, he stayed right where he was, riding before his brother. He kept his eyes on Aethelwold and shook his head. "It will be a few more days time before we reach Eoferwic but that is not our first stop."

Aethelwold tilted his head. "It is not?"

Father Beocca looked just as confused. "Where are we going?"

Steapa sat up straighter and looked at Uhtred. "We are to go to Eoferwic." The man stated dryly. "That is what King Alfred wants."

Uhtred nodded quickly. "And we will, after we make a quick stop."

"Where?" The large man asked cautiously.

"In Loidis." Uhtred answered. There was no reason to keep it secret now. They would have found out in a day's time when their path altered.

"Uhtred, now is not the time." Father Beocca said in a hushed tone.

Aethelwold glanced at Steapa before looking back at Uhtred. "What's in Loidis?"

"A friend." Ragnar said, glancing back.

"Who?" Steapa asked.

"A friend." Uhtred repeated his brother's words.

Steapa shook his head. "Lord Uhtred, we are to go to Eoferwic, by King Alfred's orders."

"And we will, Steapa." Uhtred said with a nod. "Just a day later. It isn't far out of the way." The man didn't look convinced but he said nothing more. Aethelwold, on the other hand, continued to keep flapping his mouth every moment he got. Uhtred attempted to tune the twit out as much as he could. He let Ragnar take the point as his gaze once again settled behind him.