"So this," Kara said, "Yeah, this is crazy. How long has this been going on?"
Mon-El shrugged. It seemed like he had his hands all over Lucy Lane, but really he just couldn't stop holding her hand.
It still seemed like a little too much. Blame her repressed Kryptonian upbringing…
"Well," Mon-El said, "every alien I've met on Earth has said that if I ever get a chance, I should date a Lane woman…"
Lucy slapped Mon-El's shoulder. "Can we stop with the… what's the portmanteau… 'Superlois' jokes? My sister is very happily married. To a human!"
Mon-El snapped the fingers of his free hand to show off how he had retained information. One of Kara's first lessons on humanity was how people liked it if you didn't forget personal details about them. "Clark Kent! I knew that!"
"Very good reporter," Lena said. "Just like Kara here."
"I don't know," Mon-El said. "He might have a little alien in him." He grinned at Lucy. "I mean, you—"
"You're this close to getting a glass of water thrown in your face," Lucy said.
"Is that a mating ritual?"
Lucy ducked her head to hide a grin. "Not everything is a mating ritual, Mon-El, God…"
"You could've fooled me."
Kara wasn't sure whose idea it had been for them all to go on a double date, but she knew Lena had latched onto it, loving the thought of using her wealth and status to take them all out for a night on the town, dinner at a ritzy restaurant with sides and desserts. And if Lena wanted to spoil her a little, and her friends, who was Kara to say no?
Particularly when she got an appetizer out of the deal…
The waiter showed up with another order of piping hot bread rolls. Technically, Kara supposed she should be play-acting that they burned her hands, but that would mean waiting a bit before she shoved one in her mouth. That was a lame idea for lame people.
"I think I have to visit the ladies' room," Lena said.
Lucy automatically got up to join her, and Lena cast an expectant look at Kara to follow. Lucy mirrored it.
"I think I'll," Kara said once she'd swallowed her current bite, "y'know, stay on. These things are only hot once."
"Okay," Lena said, and went off with Lucy.
Mon-El lowered his voice. "Human women always do that, have you noticed? It's weird."
"Shush," Kara said as she focused her hearing. "I'm trying to listen."
"Kara, are you listening in on them?" Mon-El asked. "That's disgusting."
Kara hung her head. "I know, I know, I just—really have to be able to trust Lena before I tell her anything about my, my stuff, and I know I'm a bad girlfriend, and I shouldn't let Alex hack her, and I shouldn't let her go around thinking she's dating a human because that's a whole part of my life she knows nothing about and she deserves to—"
"No, not that," Mon-El said. "They're in the bathroom. Do you know what humans do in there? With their bowels?"
"Yes, Mon, I know—"
"I mean, I knew Kryptonians were stuffy, but I thought they'd at least have the apparatus—"
"I have an apparatus, Mon! Now shh, they're talking."
Mon-El reached for a bread roll. "By all means, don't let me stop you from invading their privacy. Their bowel privacy."
"Would I be just totally out of line if I asked you what lipstick you're wearing?" Lucy asked.
Lena was already reaching into her purse, so she took out the container. "Code Red by Make Up Store. I'm trying to tone down the vamp act a little bit. This is for friends and family consumption, after all."
"It looks great," Lucy said, "very understated."
"Well, you know, you go bold all the time, it loses something."
"Yeah, yeah," Lucy agreed.
"Would you like it?" Lena asked, holding the container out.
"Oh, I couldn't."
"It's no problem. I have about twenty more at home and I've barely used this one."
Lucy took it. "Thanks."
Lena stared at her hair, making a minute adjustment to a strand falling across her cheek. "Mind if I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
"What's it like… dating an alien?"
"Oh," Lucy said, sounding disabused.
"I don't mean it… I don't want, like, gory details, but isn't it a little weird?"
"Well, ah, it can be," Lucy said. "Mon-El isn't like a lot of aliens who've lived on Earth a while… he came here fairly recently and there's a lot he's still getting used to. And he's not an immigrant, he's a refugee—his home world was destroyed, now he's stuck here, which he hates talking about, of course."
"Men," Lena agreed.
"He's got this idea of being a hero like…" Lucy gestured. "Supergirl, because he has powers, but does that pay the rent? And there are drawbacks to his abilities that make that… interesting."
"Oh?" Lena asked. "Such as?"
"No offense, but I'm not really comfortable talking about that."
Lena looked aghast. "Oh, yes, of course."
"It's just something he told me in confidence."
"His, ah, Kryptonite?"
"Yeah," Lucy said.
"I get it. If I were dating Supergirl and people didn't know about Kryptonite, I wouldn't be writing it on bathroom stalls or anything."
"What about you?" Lucy asked. "If you weren't with Kara, would you consider dating an alien?"
Lena paused. "I don't know if I'd consider dating anyone if I weren't with Kara. It's not that I'm antisocial, it's just that people are… they can be… I'm more comfortable on my own. Except Kara makes me feel…"
Lucy smiled. "I get it. It's written all over your face."
"It is, isn't it?" Lena washed her hands one last time. "Well, then why am I keeping her waiting?"
"Bladders too," Mon-El was saying as Kara, face burning, pulled back her hearing. "Did you know about this? Surprisingly inefficient. You'd think they'd just do one or the other, but no…"
"I think I need to tell her," Kara said.
"About bladders? I don't think she's going to want to hear it."
Kara blinked slowly. "That I'm an alien. That I'm Supergirl. All of it!"
"Okay. But I think you should know, humans seem to like it when secrets are being kept from each other. Have you seen any of their TV shows?"
