Chapter 29: Unspoken
Uhtred finished giving Alfred a tour of the house and was just about to attempt to politely shove the King out of the door when Alfred requested him to join him at the church for evening prayers. And he made it clear that Uhtred couldn't say no and was expected to attend. Uhtred nodded and said of course, he and his men would love to attend. Finan was quick to nod and thank the King while Sihtric nodded a bit more stiffly and reluctantly. Uhtred was almost disappointed. He'd hoped one or both of them would decline, maybe use Sihtric's injury as a viable excuse. His poor puppy had been shot with an arrow. Even if the younger man denied it. But of course Finan would agree, being Christian, and Sihtric would as well, being polite.
"Wonderful!" Alfred clapped his hands together and looked genuinely pleased. He turned and headed out the door immediately. Uhtred hesitated. The three men exchanged a quick glance before they fell in step behind him and they all headed to the church.
Prayers lasted for most of the rest of the evening. The whole of the town attended, having heard whispers that the King would be there. Uhtred sat between Alfred and Beocca and tried not to fall asleep. Or let the rumble of his stomach interrupt. It was stretching on forever and breakfast had been so long ago. He glanced over his shoulder a few times, spying Finan and Sihtric in the back. Both were standing a respectable distance from each other. Uhtred expected nothing less since Finan's outburst the other night. And he would of course respect Finan's wishes for them to not engage in any activities in the church. Though he couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like to have the Christian man hold him down or to have their other Heathen biting his neck underneath the altar.
Uhtred breathed out a shaky breath and tried to force the thoughts from his head as Alfred shifted beside him. He did not want the King to know exactly what was going on in his mind at the moment while he was attending prayers. In a church. He might consider telling Finan. Maybe when they were in the heat of the moment, maybe when he and Sihtric were biting and kissing their bearded man's neck, he could thread his fingers into Finan's hair and force his head back and feed the fantasy directly into his ear. Uhtred internally scowls at himself and shakes his head. It was not the time! Alfred feels the movement and glances sideways at him with concern. Uhtred offers him a forced smile and shakes his head and the King watches him curiously for a moment longer before returning his attention to the priest.
Father Beocca waited a moment until Alfred's attention was elsewhere and shifted closer. He pressed against Uthred's side and lowered his head. "Pay attention!" He hissed under his breath. "And next time eat before church."
Uhtred's eyes narrowed into a glare for a moment but he quickly relented and sighed. He nodded his head. "Sorry, Father." He said softly.
Prayers ended and they were finally released from the church. Uhtred was the first out the door and he heaved out a dramatic sigh as he stepped down the stairs, taking them two at a time. He hoped the King's stay wasn't much longer because there was no way Uhtred would be able to attend such sessions every day. He couldn't understand how the man had time to do anything if he spent all his time on his knees like that. Uhtred could think of something else he'd rather be doing on his knees and he nearly stumbled down the stairs. He quickly righted himself and paused for a moment. Then he ran a hand through his hair as he stalked across the road, his boots scraping across the stones. He should have waited for Finan and Sihtric. Actually, he should have left with Alfred. That would have been proper and expected of him and he's certain the King will have something coarse to say about it later. But he just couldn't stay in there any longer. He had to get out. The place made his skin crawl and his brain itch and he sighed deeply.
"Uhtred!"
He stopped at her voice and turned. "Gisela." He smiled and held open his arms. She eyed him for a moment before she rolled her eyes and let him hug her. Uhtred laughed and pulled her tighter. "What is that look for?" Gisela glared at him a moment longer before stepping back. She crossed her arms and leveled him with a stare that had the Lord stumbling back a step, his mind racing for a reason as to why he upset her. He couldn't think of anything he did to her. Hel, he'd barely seen her since she arrived that morning. And he certainly hadn't seen her since then. Between the whatever happened to Sihtric thing and the King and church, he hadn't had time to do anything else. And his stomach was still reminding him that breakfast was so long ago. It rumbled again rather loudly and Gisela tilted her head and raised an eyebrow. Uhtred sighed deeply and held up his hands. "I am very sorry for whatever I have done. I will make it up to you in whatever way you want, I promise. But as you can clearly hear, I have another matter to attend to."
Gisela continued to glare at him for a moment longer before a smile twisted her lips, stretching across her whole face. Laughter bubbled up from her throat and she shook her head. She stumbled back a step, still laughing and shaking with the effort. She gasped as she struggled to breathe for a moment.
Uhtred's eyes widened in concern and he stepped closer. He touched his hand to her back gently and leaned into her space. "Gisela?" He said her name softly. His voice was laced with concern, real worry spiking through him.
She pushed his hand away as another bout of laughter took her over, shaking her whole frame. They had started to attract an audience and she waved them off after a few moments more. She finally was able to stifle the bout and she caught her breath. She stood up straighter and her face was flushed from her outburst. "Your face!" She laughed again and covered her mouth with her hand quickly, trying to stifle the laughter before it took her over again.
"My face." Uhtred repeated.
Gisela nodded. "You thought I was cross with you."
He nodded his head slowly. "I did. Was it a joke?"
Gisela nodded again, her face still lit with amusement. "It was."
He stared at her blankly. "I do not find it funny."
She rolled her eyes and stepped closer to push against him playfully. "Oh stop it! Don't pout! I'm just having some fun."
Uhtred's mouth dropped open as he stared at her. "At my expense!"
She giggled again and tilted her head. "You make it so easy, darling. I can tell how annoyed church and Alfred have made you."
Uhtred eyed her for a moment longer before he threw his head back and let out an extremely over exaggerated sigh. "Yes!" He groaned. "It's just the worst! I want them to leave! All of them! Right now and never come back. They are just getting in my way and keeping me from…" He bit his tongue and looked away, lest he say more than he meant to. He was beyond frustrated at that point and he didn't think he'd get a real minute alone with Finan and Sihtric until Alfred was home safe in Wessex. And he might very well die from lack of humping, as Finan so crudely and accurately suggested.
Gisela tilted her head and raised an eyebrow. She stepped closer and lowered her voice. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about."
Uhtred shook his head and looked back at her. "Hmm? Alfred?" He shrugged. "He'll be gone soon. I hope." He added, his jaw clenched. At least the insufferable man better be gone soon.
Gisela smiled and shook her head. "No. Not him. About…" She stepped even closer. "The two men you share your bed with." Uhtred's eyes widened. He opened his mouth and Gisela shook her head and held up her hand. She wagged a finger at him. "Don't you dare lie to me, husband."
Uhtred shut his mouth and clenched his jaw. He looked away from her and balled his fists at his sides. His mind raced as he tried to figure out how she knew, what she knew. And just how much trouble he was in for it. He didn't think she would tell anyone but what did he really know of her? His eyes darted around, afraid of being overheard. He didn't care but he knew others did and he needed to respect that.
Gisela moved closer again suddenly and she smiled at him. "I am not angry, Uhtred." She said, as if reading him. Uhtred breathed out and looked back at her as she continued. "You didn't promise me anything more than protection. I am not some infatuated, love sick girl. Whatever the truth, it doesn't change our arrangement. I would just like the truth. I have already been to the house. I've seen the evidence of the three of you sharing the same bed last night, even though there are rooms enough for both of them. And do not think I haven't noticed the looks, Uhtred…" She glanced away for a moment. "Even if I was denying it for a while." She added softly and sighed. "I don't know how I didn't know from the moment you came striding back into my life… they were never more than a step behind you…" She paused for a moment, thinking. "The whole time I was pregnant… every time Sihtric came to check on me… all he talked about was you… how did I not know then…" She shook her head and turned back to him. "I am not blind. Do not treat me like I am dumb, Uhtred."
Uhtred wanted to correct her assumption about him and Sihtric. The boy might have been infatuated with him but Uhtred hadn't known then. But then his eyes widened and he shook his head. "Never, Gisela!" He reached for her and grabbed her arms gently. He slid his fingers over her skin slowly and sighed. "I never thought you dumb. I would never have chased after you if I had." He said with a cheeky smile and a blush quickly spread across Gisela's face. She cleared her throat and looked away and Uhtred continued. "In another life… I could have loved you. We could have lived as a proper married couple. But being on that ship… meeting Fin… something was stirred within me. And Sihtric stirred something in us both when we were rescued. I cannot deny that I… care about them…" He said awkwardly and sighed.
Gisela nodded her head slowly and looked back at him. "You love them?" She asked softly.
Uhtred flinched. He turned away from her and ran a hand through his hair. He hadn't let himself think on that too much. He kept telling himself that it was too soon, he can't love someone so quickly, and he certainly can't love two at the same time. He deflated and shrugged. "I don't know… if I can… or if I ever really loved anyone." He mumbled under his breath.
Gisela rolled her eyes and thumped him on the shoulder. He mumbled out a pained word as he turned to look at her. He rubbed his shoulder and she just stared at him. "Stop being so dramatic!" She snapped. "Now… I do have some conditions."
Uhtred frowned and looked at her. "Conditions." He repeated slowly, not sure he liked the sound of that.
She nodded her head. "I do not care what you do or who you do it with. But I am still your wife and that comes with certain expectations. You will be discreet and keep your private matters private. And not while the twins and I are in the house. They can be very light sleepers and if the three of you wake them up, Finan will really feel my wrath this time."
Uhtred smiled, remembering Finan upsetting Stiorra a day ago. "He wouldn't want that."
Gisela glared at him and shook her head. "He better not!" She snapped. "Now, Ealhswith and I have picked out a small home for her. It has room enough for the twins and I to stay over occasionally when your need arises. And knowing your reputation, it will arise many times." Uhtred smirked and opened his mouth but Gisela cut him off. "I don't want to hear it! I suggest finding Finan and Sihtric places of their own as well, far away from prying eyes." Uhtred's expression changed and he frowned. He opened his mouth but she cut him off once again. "You will not argue with me! They are welcome over anytime but it will not be their home. It will be our home. Ours." She emphasized. "Yours and mine, Uhtred. You promised me safety and the life of a wife of an Ealdorman and you will keep that promise!"
Uhtred waited a moment more, making sure she was finished. He wasn't exactly a fan of being cut off but he allowed her to talk. He didn't want to get in any more trouble with her than he already might be. He still wasn't exactly sure if he was or not. He sighed and shook his head dramatically. "I like sleeping with them near." He said softly. He couldn't stand the idea of not being intertwined with them every night, of feeling their hands and their warmth wrapped around him. He'd gotten too used to it.
Her eyes narrowed. "Then pick a place close, Uhtred. But I am serious! To keep me safe, you have to keep yourself safe, Uhtred. And that means being discreet." She continued quickly, not giving him a chance to try to interject. "I know you do not care what others think of you and you do not fear for your own safety but Uhtred… you live surrounded by Christian Saxon men. And the Danes aren't the most accepting of people either, not when it comes to this. Just think with the head on your shoulders, husband."
Uhtred's lips curled into a smile and he nodded his head. He knew she spoke evenly, that her words were true. He did not care what others thought but he knew what their thoughts could do. He could handle anyone coming at him. He was certain of that. And a few more if he had Finan and Sihtric at his back. But he wasn't invincible. None of them were. And he was once snatched from his bed and sold into slavery. He nodded again and wrapped his arms around her. He drew her against him in a tight hug. Gisela closed her eyes and tucked her head against his shoulder. "I promise." He said softly. "I will do everything in my power to keep you safe. And you are correct, that includes keeping myself and my men safe. And I would do anything for all of you. For the twins, as well. You all are my life. You all are my world. I swear."
Gisela leaned against his warmth for a few moments longer. But then approaching footsteps and the rumbling of Uhtred's stomach broke the moment and she pulled away. She sniffed and rubbed at her eyes as she stepped back. "Uhtred, you best get something to eat before you wake the dead with that noise." She took a step back and looked around him. Finan and Sihtric had stopped, standing a few feet away. She moved around Uhtred and smiled at them. "I will leave my husband in your hands." She said, her voice louder. "Make sure he gets fed. I will not have him in my house sounding like that. He will wake the twins."
Finan glanced sideways at Sihtric, finding the younger man having a similar curious expression on his face. The Irishman cleared his throat and nodded his head as he turned back to her. "Aye, we will, Lady. We promise ye."
"You don't want to come with us?" Sihtric asked, glancing between the two of them.
Gisela shook her head. "I will have to decline. I need to check on the twins. I left Ealhswith to get them settled into our new home."
Uhtred smiled as he nodded. "Alright. I will have food sent over for both of you."
Gisela glanced over her shoulder at him and nodded her head. "Yes, thank you, Uhtred. That will do. Now, if you all will excuse me."
"Lady." Finan nodded.
Sihtric dipped his head and stepped back. "Yes, Lady."
Uhtred turned to watch as she walked away from them. His eyes followed her movements as she stepped towards the large house and he sighed. For a moment, he did let his mind wander and he imagined what it could be like to live there with her, to hold her in his arms each night in his bed, in what would be their bed. He wouldn't be against the idea. It was a pleasant enough image. But then he heard the shuffling behind him and he knew that life wasn't his. He turned and a smile spread across his face as he saw Finan and Sihtric standing so close together, both looking a little apprehensive. He couldn't blame them. His relationship with them and Gisela was rocky, that her marriage to him was still a sore subject between them. He'd have to prove he could handle both, that he could be a protective husband to Gisela and a good father to their kids and still be an equal partner in this thing with Finan and Sihtric. He opened his mouth but was quickly cut off by another rumble of his stomach. He snapped his mouth shut and clenched his jaw. This was just ridiculous.
Finan busted out laughing, the tension in the air between them broken instantly. Beside him, Sihtric smiled and couldn't suppress the light laugh that escaped his throat. Finan wrapped his arm around Sihtric's shoulders and leaned heavily against him as he waved his other arm animatedly in the air. "C'mon boy. We best git 'im somethin' t' eat 'afore 'e scares the horses off."
Uhtred rolled his eyes and shook his head. "It's not that loud!"
Sihtric laughed again and attempted to muffle the sound with his hand. "Lord, the whole church could hear you."
Uhtred stared at him blankly for a moment, hoping his puppy was being facetious. Then he sighed and shook his head. "Alfred and Beocca will both yell at me for that, no doubt."
Sihtric giggled again and nodded. "I have no doubt at all that they will, Lord."
Finan watched Uhtred scowl and he couldn't stop the chuckle from leaving his chest as he pulled on Sihtric. "We best be goin' 'afore they come after us."
Alfred ended up staying near a week, getting his hands into everything he could, before he finally departed. And Uhtred wanted to throw the biggest banquet and party all night long as he watched the King's caravan finally leaving his town. He held himself stiffly as he waved, waiting until the last of the travelers were gone from his sight. Then he let out a loud, over exaggerated groan and leaned heavily against Finan. The Irishman promptly rolled his eyes and pushed him away and Uhtred just laughed and glanced around at everyone gathered.
Most of the town had shown up for the King's departure. Clapa, Beocca, Steapa, Aethelwold, Hild, Thyra. Gisela was with the twins, of course. And then all the actual townspeople. Benwick and his whole family. Everyone, it seemed, except for their missing counterpart. Uhtred pushed thoughts of his puppy away as his eyes met Beocca's. The priest smiled and nodded before he turned.
Beocca had stayed behind and made himself comfortable in the church. Steapa had also stayed, as well as Aethelwold, much to Uhtred's chagrin. He'd hoped the King was kidding about leaving his nephew. Or that the young man wouldn't want to stay. But he had and he was settling in fine, as far as Uhtred could tell. There had been no other outbursts from him since the night Clapa and Steapa had both hauled him out of the alehouse and thrown him to the ground. Uhtred was almost disappointed Aethelwold hadn't caused another ruckus while Alfred was around. He could have put the annoying twit on trial and sent him back with his uncle as punishment. He knew how much the King enjoyed punishments. It would serve them both right.
Hild and Thyra had settled in nicely as well. His sister was still attached to his nun at the hip but Hild still said she didn't mind. He wondered at the growing closeness between the two women but he didn't question it. Whatever it was, it was their own business and none of his. If either of them wanted him to know, they would tell him. If there was anything to tell. It was just nice to see Thyra smiling after everything she had been through. And it was nice to see Hild likewise in a joyous mood with the younger Dane. Except for right then. The nun looked annoyed. "Thyra!" Hild snapped, turning to wag a finger at the younger woman. "I told you no."
Thyra stuck out her bottom lip and pouted for a moment. "But Hild! Please!" She begged.
Hild shook her head again and spun around. "That pout worked yesterday but not today, Thyra. I said no. Now come on!"
Thyra straightened up and frowned at Hild's retreating back. Then her eyes settled on Uhtred and she raced over. "Brother!" She whined and threw her arms around his neck.
Uhtred stumbled back under her weight before wrapping his arms around her waist. "What, sister?"
"You promised me!" She whined loudly. "When we found a place to live, I could have my dogs! But Hild keeps saying no!"
Uhtred raised an eyebrow. "I said maybe, Thyra. And if she says no…"
Thyra frowned and detached herself quickly. She pushed him away and scowled. "Where is Sihtric? He'll agree with me! Raven!" She turned and looked around. "Little Raven!"
Finan shook his head. "'e stayed 'ome. Said 'e wasn't feelin' well."
Thyra's eyes widened and she gasped. "My Raven is sick?"
"He's just tired." Uhtred corrected, reaching out to touch her arm. "He's fine. I promise, Thyra. He just hasn't been sleeping well the last few nights. I told him to stay home and try to rest."
Thyra narrowed her eyes and stepped closer. She thumped him hard in the chest. "Brother, if you are keeping him up at night and not letting him sleep because of your insatiable…"
Uhtred's eyes widened and he clenched his jaw. He stepped closer and grabbed her shoulder. "Thyra!" He hissed lowly. "Keep your voice down! And no, I swear! I haven't."
Thyra glared at him for a moment longer, not looking convinced. Then she turned her glare on Finan. "You?"
Finan raised his hands and shook his head. "I swear, Lady. 'e uh…" He glanced at Uhtred, wondering exactly how much to say. Sihtric's troubles were his own and not something they would share with anyone. But Thyra wasn't just anyone. She was family to Sihtric. He often called her sister and Finan knew it was more than just because of the light it brought to her face when he did so. Finan sighed as he stepped closer. "Nightmares, Lady. Often wakes up, shakin' an' sweatin' an' can't sleep again."
Uhtred sighed and nodded his head. "He won't let us touch him after and he won't talk about it. He just gets quiet and stares off in the darkness and in the morning, he acts as if nothing has happened and he tries to go about the day."
Thyra turned her glare back on Uhtred. "If you are demanding too much of him, brother…"
Uhtred's mouth dropped open at the implication he heard in her tone. He scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Thyra, we haven't even…" He bit his tongue and stopped himself. He crossed his arms and turned away from her. "It isn't any of your business." He hissed under his breath.
Thyra nodded her head. "It is if you are too much for him!"
"Thyra!" Hild's voice interrupted them as she noticed her charge was not behind her. She turned and started back towards them.
Finan saw the anger flash across Uhtred's face and he quickly stepped in between them. He pushed Uhtred back a step and held his hands up as he looked at Thyra. "Lady, I swear t' ye. Wit' the King an' everythin', we've barely had a moment alone."
Thyra studied Finan for a moment, as if trying to gauge if she believed him. After a moment, she nodded her head and turned. "I will talk to him." She said and started running off in the direction of his and Finan's home.
Hild's eyes widened as she reached them only to have Thyra run past her. "Thyra!"
Uhtred's eyes widened. "Thyra!" He called after her but before he could move, Finan's hand was on him, pulling him back.
"Can't hurt." The Irishman whispered. "Nothin' we've tried is helpin' 'im. Maybe she can get t' 'im."
Hild frowned as she turned to look at Finan and Sihtric. "Lord? Did something happen?"
Uhtred sighed loudly and leaned back against Finan. He shook his head. "Not really, Hild. Thyra noticed Sihtric was missing and we told her he hasn't been sleeping well the last few nights. She ran off to talk to him."
Hild nodded slowly as she stepped closer. "Nightmares?" She asked, hazarding a guess.
Finan was the first to nod his head. "Aye, Lady. Keeps 'im up most the night."
Hild nodded her head again. "I'm not surprised. Not after everything." She said softly. "Thyra has them too, almost every night."
Uhtred's eyes widened. "She does?"
Hild nodded again. "I talked with Sihtric about it and he suggested brewing her a tea that would help her sleep. I'm surprised he doesn't use it himself if he's plagued as well."
Uhtred frowned and beside him, Finan hummed and nodded his head. Uhtred turned to look curiously at the Irishman. "What's that look for?"
"I git it." Finan said softly, nodding his head again. "His father an' brother may be gone an' Dunholm a changed place but it's always gonna be inside 'im, in the back of 'is mind."
Uhtred frowned and nodded. "Exactly why he should use the tea if it'll help."
"Someone like 'im…" Finan started softly and shook his head. He crossed his arms and looked away, not finishing.
"Fin." Uhtred pressed closer.
The older man sighed and tipped his head back. He shook his head slowly as he looked up at the sky. "He's strong. Dun git me wrong." Finan said, looking back at Uhtred. "Has t' be to survive what all 'e has, whatever it was."
Uhtred was quick to nod his head. He glanced sideways at Hild. "And we aren't asking."
She smiled stiffly and shook her head. "Of course not, Lord. Because you know I won't dare breathe a word."
Finan sighed again and lowered his head. "But he's also fragile. I feel like if I say the wrong thin' or ask 'im the wrong question… 'e jus' gets so quiet sometimes an' I don't know what t' do. Somethin' changed an' I don't know how t' fix 'im."
Hild stepped closer and reached out to touch Finan's arms. She pulled them from his chest and held tightly to his hands. "He doesn't need you to fix him." She said softly. "He just needs you to be there for him."
"We're trying!" Uhtred snapped, his voice louder than he meant. He flinched at the glare she gave him and he breathed out. "You're right, Hild. He's not broken and treating him like he is isn't helping anyone. We will talk to him about this tea thing. If he's afraid of the nightmares becoming worse or having to be on guard for some reason, I will gladly stand watch over him and let him sleep. I would do anything for him."
Finan nodded his head. "Aye. Anythin'. Already told 'im I love 'im." Hild raised an eyebrow and Finan just shrugged in answer.
Uhtred rolled his eyes and glared sideways at him. "Will you stop saying that?" He hissed under his breath.
"It's the truth!" Finan insisted. "I love ye too. Told ye that months ago."
"I know!" Uhtred snapped and turned his back on Finan. He placed his hands on his hips and stepped away. He was reminded of Gisela asking him a week ago if he loved them. He still didn't have an answer. He wasn't sure if he ever would. But he didn't want to think about that now. He just wanted to concentrate on his puppy and make sure the boy was okay. And if Thyra's worries were correct and they were too much for him… well… Uhtred had no clue how that could be a possibility. They'd done little more than kiss in the morning and cuddle at night when the day left them too exhausted to even engage in teasing wordplay.
Hild watched Uhtred's reaction and wondered at it. But she didn't say anything. She was one of the few who knew of his past relationship with Leofric and she'd seen the way he was destroyed when the man was killed. She shook her head slowly and turned her attention back to Finan. "You don't take it slow, do you?" She asked the Irishman curiously.
Finan smiled and shook his head. "No, Lady, I don't." He said without a hint of shame in his voice. "I spent years alone on that floatin' grave an' I knew when I met 'im that I wanted 'im. An' Sihtric…" Finan shrugged. "Jus' need 'em both. I love 'em."
"Stop it!" Uhtred hissed again and shook his head. "We aren't discussing this anymore!"
Finan shrugged again, not looking the least bit deterred by Uhtred's reaction. "We will."
"Not now!" Uhtred snapped and glared at Hild when she laughed and it only made her laugh more.
"We will." Finan insisted with a nod. "When ye are ready."
Uhtred huffed out and turned away from them, feeling his annoyance with both growing. The crowd around them had dissipated while they were talking. Only a few stragglers remained, standing at the gates and looking out across the landscape. There was no sign of the King's procession anymore and Uhtred hoped the man was half home by now. He knew that wasn't possible but still, he hoped. He wouldn't put it past Alfred to announce he'd forgotten something and to return only to stay another week longer. Uhtred would not be able to survive that, he was certain.
"Lord…" Finan pressed closer.
Uhtred sighed and shook his head. "No more, Fin. Not now, please." His voice was soft and there was a pleading tone lacing his words. He was suddenly very tired and he just wanted to drag Finan to Sihtric's side.
"Thyra." Finan said, nodding. Uhtred turned, as well as Hild, and the three watched the Lord's sister approaching. She looked mildly panicked, her arms waving wildly, as she ran over.
"Brother!" Thyra practically gasped as she slid to a stop, nearly slipping in the loose soil. Hild was by her side in a moment, grabbing her arm. Thyra glanced at her and nodded. "Thank you. Brother!" She said, turning back to Uhtred. "I can't find him!"
Uhtred blinked for a moment until his mind reconnected. "Sihtric?" She nodded and he glanced at Finan. "We left him in your home."
Finan nodded. "Aye. We did."
"That's where I went! He's not there!" Thyra insisted.
"He might be asleep…" Uhtred started.
Thyra shook her head. "I went inside, brother. I knocked and called his name but he didn't answer so I went inside! I checked everywhere! He's not there!"
"Shhh, Thyra." Uhtred reached towards her and touched her shoulder. He gripped her firmly and looked into her eyes, trying to calm her before she lost herself in her worry. "I'm sure he's fine."
"But my Little Raven was kidnapped!" She wailed. "What if he was kidnapped again? What if they've managed to kill him this time?"
Hild wrapped her arms around Thyra's shoulders and held her tightly. She pressed her lips against the younger woman's ear. "Shhh, princess." She said softly. "Your brother is right. Sihtric is fine. Remember you killed Sven and Ragnar killed Kjartan. There is no one after him anymore. There is no one that wants to hurt your Little Raven."
Thyra closed her eyes tightly. She clenched her jaw and her whole face wrinkled and scrunched with the effort. "Keep talking." She said softly, trying to focus on Hild's voice, on her words and the feeling of the woman holding onto her. She pushed away the fuzzy haze that threatened to take her mind over.
Hild nodded, her hair falling from behind her ears. A few strands fell against Thyra's neck, tickling her pale skin. The Dane sucked in a sharp breath and exhaled it slowly. Hild closed her eyes and rested her forehead against Thyra, her lips still close to the girl's ear. "You saw them both die." She said softly, feeding the words directly into Thyra's ear. "Then we took you both away from that place. You remember how far away it is, how long we traveled. You are both safe from Dunholm and from the ghosts that might linger within its walls and you never have to go back. They can't get you and you're safe with me."
Thyra visibly relaxed against Hild. She sagged a bit in the nun's embrace and Hild had to hold onto her even tighter. Just as quickly, she straightened back up and opened her eyes. She blinked a few times and breathed out evenly. "Thank you." She said softly, her eyes on the ground and a redness spreading across her face.
Hild didn't say anything. The nun simply nodded and eased her hold on Thyra. She kept one hand on the younger woman's arm and slid her fingers down to her wrist. Thyra turned her hand over and Hild let their fingers slide together. Thyra held tightly to her and breathed out again.
Uhtred watched the exchange with interest. He wanted to ask but he kept his thoughts to himself when Thyra looked at him. Her gaze was more steady, her eyes more clear and he swore he could see a glimpse of the sister he knew years ago, before she'd been kidnapped and driven half mad. "Thyra…"
"I'm fine." She said, cutting him off. "I know Sihtric is too. I just… I'd like to know… for sure. I'd like to find him." She said softly, her voice wavering.
"Aye." Finan nodded and stepped closer. "We will find 'im." He grabbed Thyra's hand and tugged on her.
The Dane went easily, following after him. "Where do we look first?"
Uhtred and Hild were quick to fall in step behind them. They started with the stables but found no sign of him. He hadn't been seen there that day, not since he checked on his mare the night before. They asked a few people as they went but no one had seen any sign of him. Uhtred was trying not to worry and believe his words to Thyra. But he couldn't help remembering a few weeks ago when he'd done the same thing when he'd woken up with Finan alone. And there was also the possibility that someone else was after his puppy. He would never believe the hunting accident tale, not as long as he lived. But he'd done as thorough an investigation as he could and he came up with no answers. There were a few footprints but they looked just like any other. And the arrow was like any other. And no one had seen anyone coming or going from the woods. And that included seeing Sihtric. There was just no proof one way or the other.
"Uhtred!"
The Lord spun around at her voice and nodded. He smiled and stepped closer. "Gisela."
"I think I found something of yours." She said with an unamused expression.
Uhtred frowned for a moment, thinking. "Sihtric?" His eyes widened. "Where is he?"
Gisela tilted her head before stepping back. She lifted her hand and waved a finger at him, beckoning him to follow her. Then she glanced at the others behind him and nodded as well before turning. Without further comment, she led them through the town until they got back to her and Uhtred's house. She didn't pause and led them inside and down the hall. Then she turned at Uhtred's door and inclined her head. "Ealhswith found him about an hour ago. We left him sleeping."
Uhtred felt Finan pressing closer against him and the two peaked their heads inside. Uhtred sucked in a sharp breath and Finan grabbed his hand. Sihtric was lying on his side, hugging Uhtred's pillow and fast asleep. Then they silently stepped back. They moved away from the doorway and Uhtred sighed. "I'm sorry, Gisela. He's been having nightmares… he hasn't slept in days… maybe longer. He won't talk to us about it."
Gisela nodded her head. "Let him sleep but when he wakes, talk to him, Uhtred. I told you, I don't mind but… for appearances… just popping up unannounced and alone in your bed… does border on inappropriate."
Uhtred nodded his head and breathed out . "I know, I know."
Gisela glanced down the hall and nodded slowly to herself. "Alright. I will give you tonight. Ealhswith already has the twins at her home. I will retire there tonight with her and we'll see you tomorrow."
Uhtred nodded his head and stepped closer. He drew her into a tight hug and kissed her cheek before he pulled away. "Thank you." Gisela nodded and silently slipped out. Uhtred glanced at Finan and the Irishman shrugged at him. Neither had any idea.
Thyra stood silently beside Hild. She still held tightly to the nun's hand and she lifted them. She held their hands against her chest, clinging on as if she would never let go. She cleared her throat and the two men looked at her. "Sihtric… he's okay." She stated it softly, not asking.
Uhtred nodded. "He is. He's sleeping. Do you want to go in and see?"
Thyra shook her head quickly. It was enough for her to have her brother confirm it. She trusted his word. "I don't want to accidentally wake him. Tell him I would like to talk to him tomorrow. If he feels up for it."
Finan nodded his head. "We will, Lady."
Thyra offered them a meek smile before she turned to Hild. "Can we go now? You promised you'd teach me to make the honey bread."
Hild nodded quickly and glanced at Uhtred. "We will see you tomorrow, Lord. Finan." She nodded at both before she turned. She started towards the door and Thyra followed close behind her.
Finan watched them go and felt Uhtred shift beside him. He quickly wrapped his arm around the man and pulled him closer. Both leaned into each other's space for a few moments. Then Finan turned and pulled Uhtred with him.
