Pairing: [ Subaru x Sylphy ]
[ Everything Will Be Fine ]
Two-Shot Fic - Part 2
Gone were the foggy mourn, whilst the sunny plight blooms as its casted rays across the entirety the lands of Lugunica, it was a joyous occasion indeed. No longer were the evils that lurked in the shadows, albeit petty crimes still present yet again that all will be promised to be fixed as a new era was about to be bestowed.
I clutched the rims of my dress as I walked in an elegant manner, the hallways lined with knights that bowed as myself passed. And there he was, at the very exit found a peculiar young man that wholly changed her life. Forming a genuine smile that reached his ears, I can't help but have one as well.
He stood aside, welcoming me of the front stage from the tall balcony. Seeing the view of the land's greenery, but the main focus that was the cheers and shout-alike of the citizens or the on-passe observers. By the corners of my eyes, the certain representatives of the neighboring countries found as they observe the moment with pride.
I smiled upon contact of my feet near the ledge, I took a glance back to see the faces that became the reason of why I am here. Most notably that was— Natsuki Subaru.
Tinge of despair found its way into the pits of my stomach, almost losing composure as I force the renowned smile that I always gave.
"Citizens of Lugunica–—" My declaration that boomed through-out the lands. I, myself determined that will strive to be known aside just by being with him. To finally fix that sinking feeling that lingered.
◤—–—–—–—–—–—–—◢
Yet I said all of that, it unknowingly come into terms being another thorn. That feeling was still gnawing away in the back of my head.
"Emilia-sama?" Voiced their concerns as I seemed to have spaced out.
"Ah, you can continue." I replied in result of a blunder of mine; zoning out so sudden. The gray-haired man shown a look of displease or was it concern?
Tilting his head, "Are you sure? Pardon me for saying this but you seemed out of it lately. If it's alright, I'll try asking Natsuki-san for help if you ever need it, he won't refuse if it's you. Though I'll be even more keen in tidying up these papers, so that you uhm–—" Scratching the back of his head in nervousness, tidying up the papers to be kept in his arm.
I didn't complain about the overly-consideration by the others, and I'll never will. In truth, I can manage with even the precarious papers but each time, my insistence was drowned out against by words that instead praised him.
◤—–—–—–—–—–—–—◢
I walked along the vastly decorated hallways, seeing that it was a well-deserved break after the nobles echoing their complaints of the new reforms, a compromise was needed.
"Can we request a meeting for their majesty instead?" Their condescending tones tore away bits of patience that I had. The reforms come at a cost, for the deemed promise of equality was to persevere of pulling the rug from those that had their egos high above than everyone else's.
The distaste of both opposing sides that was the humans and demi-kind was wringed-dry, the camp might had won the election that had its support of both, doesn't mean that they're unanimous in every case. In short terms, we'll be the ones handling the frequent complaints that went pass the people specifically tasked for this job.
Bitter nobles that no longer had their ways, were the first one to complain. Forced to treat the demi-humans the same way they treat being any other kind was futilely far-fetched for them. As long there was that, they can't blatantly spoke their minds with displeasure against me. Yet subsequently treating the opposite when it comes to him.
"I see no need for that, if you have nothing to compromise for such, there's nothing to keep this conversation going." Hearing their disdain rebuttal though no words that came out of their mouths, they left the office speechless.
Just remembering about it, was slowly making her irritated. I then had a bright idea of surprising him something I haven't done for a long time. Grandiosely walked into the hallways as I hurriedly arrive to my destination.
Opening the wooden door that reveals the kitchen, yet again I was betrayed by the string of fate that was the appearance of her. I haplessly accepted it and made my presence known.
"Oh, Emilia-sama. What seems to have brought you here?" Oceanic-blue of her hair whilst its body embezzled of a maid outfit, a loyal retainer even after the incident that cause ripples for his feelings. Setting aside what she's currently doing for her to give its utmost focus for me.
"I wanted to have something done for …" She tilted her head in confusion seeing the suspense I'm unintentionally showing, "Subaru." Her eyes then flickered of admiration, as she then smiled in assurance that she's glad to help me with such.
Feeling of envy, jealousy of the admiration shown by everyone around him as I stuck around behind his back, a shadow of sorts.
That feeling became into feeling of anger as I berate myself for even a tinge of jealousy from a man everyone cherished.
◤—–—–—–—–—–—–—◢
The new season was about to come as I felt the newly winter became apparent. Each of the issues for the month has been resolved, even the cold-bitter winter can be so forgiving. Flakes of snow skidded across the window, numerous of the others became uncounted as they fell to the ground.
Covered by a sheet of snow, obscuring the glorious view of the surrounding castle. Laying my head onto the familiar chill of the wooden table, not much had happened since then. Though I'm not complaining, I'm happy for it to be that way as it is now. Wishing for more that it'll stay that way for years to come.
—Knock, Knock
Straightening myself to look presentable, a servant then made its way inside, "Emilia-sama, the Sage Council had requested for a summon of both Queen and King. As it'll be taking place just after lunch." The servant announced as they bowed then left after the message was delivered.
"They needed both of our presence, huh." Thinking out loud what may they have to say. Stretching my arms as I took off from my chair, to the cabinet. Appropriating myself of a right wardrobe for this somehow urgent summon. I stared at the outer back of the cabinet, a familiar outfit that I wore years ago. It was his favorite back then but I felt somber a fact that he never brought it up again. Taking the said hanged clothe as I placed it over my chest. Still indeed fits after the years, I then decided that this'll be it for old times' sake.
I glanced over to the mirror, never felt different in the same degree as I remembered how I looked like years ago. Only difference was the aura wildly dissimilar to the stature of who am I now. That's too be expected, elves tend to live for a long time even if when I'm the half of it. Appearance that'll be no doubt the same even after a century. But, it's not the same for him.
Although being recognized as『 The World's Sage 』, he's still bound to the rules that shackled humanity. Lifespan that can be prolonged by such magic was possible, yet he was still born pure of human's blood. Soul that was built only for a set of time, even with 『 Authorities 』that rewrite and break the rules it made, there's still a limit of what I can take in for so long.
He just can't take that amount of mana in that prolonged time alike of an elf can. Someday he'll leave from this mortal realm after so long then I'll be left alone to witness the legacy he made. Becoming a shadow of his achievements, living up for the sake of not disappointing him and those around to witness.
I shivered at the sight in the mirror, I quickly taken it off right after for another set in place. "Haaah—" Sigh as I patted down myself to remove some of the creases scattered. Right on cue, hearing another knock at the door, "I come to escort you for lunch, Emilia-sama."
Closing the cabinets, as I stepped out of it. Departing now towards the dining room, the hallways are surprisingly barren. I remembered the moment when we finally acquired the castle as ownership of being royal; no one else might had noticed but I did, the hands of which I held at that time was shivering. I stared at him for anything wrong, sweat streaked across his head then he just smiled back at me after seemingly noticing my concern. He then insisted for the recruitment of even more servants as an addition, "It's creepy to have this much space in the hallways for it to be empty." Was his reason, I didn't mind but I still felt the discomfort coming from the tone of his voice. He never told me the reason why that is, never.
Does he not trust me? I tried my best yet never was I ever came into the roots of the secret that he kept for a long time. Maybe that was the reason I was unworthy in the eyes of others. My best was never good enough.
I cried and cried, again and again. Then he comes by into my side, and that mere presence shown warmth to my icy-stricken heart. I became irritated at myself, from the times he needed me the most, I could only whisper sweet-nothings just as he distanced himself for a secret, he never told me.
Arriving then to a set of plates that was placed across a wide prestigious table, and the width having enough to include two chairs respectively for the both of us. Seems like I'm the first one, I made myself comfortable whilst eyeing the other maids that stood on both ends of the room.
"Ah, Emilia-taaaan~" I took my focus now then to him as he entered the room, calling my name with eccentricity. I brought out a chuckle at his antics, coming close to his chair to sit right beside me. "Hm, I thought I was the one late, where are the others?"
"Otto was dragged awa–, ehm. Forcefully requested by the opposing merchants after supposedly a rile-up that took place a while ago. Garf is in the midst of boasting about himself with the knights that just finished their patrol." The peach-haired maid reported, scoffing at the latter.
Click of the door, revealing two figures that held their trays. "Subaru-sama~!" Shouted a familiar someone, aurous-hair that radiated of an aura that told outgoing. Then the other was the stoic maid, bared no emotions whilst they walked to the side of us.
"Haa~" Let out a breath after him seeing the rowdy one, letting the maids do the job of serving the dishes onto the table. "I wonder what'll be the menu for lunch today, I do hope that it's not tatoes– with it being too good for my mouth after all!" I was amused in seeing his hesitation after a shot of glint from a peached-haired servant just nearby.
"You flatter yourself too much, Barusu." Smirkingly did she shrugged away the almost offence of the sharped-eye of his.
"Hm? You seem quieter nowadays Emilia-tan, anything that's bothering you?" He then shifted his focus onto me, who's unintentionally became reserved in just observing their interactions. The others became interested in such trivial topic seen by their judging eyes curious about my well-being, how cruel.
It was you that was my problem, after all. Yet all that comes into me deteriorating horribly as I become obsessed in unjustly putting off the blame onto someone else, I have no rights to complain after so much they had done just for me. It was suffocating.
"It was just the nobles that I had on my mind that kept bickering in front of me, nothing much." Naturally, I lied. Their gears spinning onto the wrong direction, an idea of redemption for me against the others that merely shown their disdain that may have struck true.
"Haah~." Sighing as he started to rub his temples, "They really wouldn't give us a damn break, don't they?" Words that came across as whining, "Though if they really still won't budge, just let them come to me, Emilia-tan." Then a slight mumble I didn't understand as he stuffed out the next words with food. Certainly, he had his own fair share of troubles.
"Though the profanities are unfit for someone of your position, I do agree that the audacity of these people are out of line." They all collectively agreed for my sake.
"That's ironic coming from someone like you." Grinned while he bantered back to the pink maid. This was the unusual of a situation befitting the vast difference of position the two of them held, a king and a servant albeit didn't matter as they strived sweat and tears together to overcome horrors in the past. I'm the same but it doesn't feel regarded as much as them. I winced as I casted that thought aside.
"Hmph," She's aware what he meant, but I guess she'll leave it at that.
"Well that aside, I do wonder what might have been the reason they called us for?" Deducing a rhetorical question, he took upon a look of seriousness yet the munching food on his mouth contradicts it.
"Oh, Emilia, you smiled." The absence of his eccentrics, calling just my name to point out something I didn't notice as I blanky stared at him, "It's been since I last saw you aloof. Still, I regret not noticing the issue sooner. Sorry about that." Returning the gesture as he smiled bright, the same old one I loved long ago, and still now.
I resisted the urge to tear up right here and then, because of such that it wasn't a fault of anyone. It was never one to begin with but mine alone, yet I can't speak out the suffocating voice admitting that I was the burden that you all stayed beside and carried on.
"Tch, pervert." A maid snapped me out of my trance as he does too, "Acting all swoony in front of other people's sight." Blatantly let a heavy sigh sounding of disgust, albeit keeping a grin at the edges of her face.
"Wha–" Flustered as he looked around with other servants currently in the room looking away, indeed proving what the situation has come into.
Seeing that was the spectacle of his genuine smile, hinting no malice nor deceit but of exceptional happiness. I'll wholeheartedly try to at least live on to achieve his expectations.
◤—–—–—–—–—–—–—◢
We soon finished our meals, stridden the pathway, shall then find out what might have the council to say. In the usual case, he would have taken the initiative of reaching out for my cold-dreaded hands yet currently unusual that he was being a little bit distant. I paid no more heed after that first thought, thoughtlessly continued on along to our destination with not much to say from each other.
As the path still a long-way, becoming a sort of stroll for the both of us reminding that work had indeed taken a toll really. I looked beside for another time today, the eyes looked as if they're reminiscing of a moment that I can't read, he seemed to have noticed my staring, reciprocating back a smile once again. That same thorned feeling arisen at the pits of my stomach seeing such; I hate that shivering feel.
Those stationed at the large door adorned with gold, raised their heads high. He awkwardly returned the gesture, I greeted them alongside him.
And here we now stood in front of the people that had once loathe my existence, although it ever feels of indifference now, he pleadingly made it to be accordingly pleasant to my sight just for my sake.
"Though it may that we have called you this urgent suggests an emergency, I assure the both of you, it'll be trivial." The two of us stared at each other asking if one knew what's this was about.
"It has been a long while of years, albeit we have no interest in your personal life, the question was raised whether the obligation of an heir will be one day be seen through." Their irritating voice echoed around reaching our ears, it took a moment for me and him to comprehend what they had just said, returning the silence back.
"W, What?" It had been so abrupt, normally wearing his emotions at its sleeve, a double-edged sword that can work against others and himself; shown vulnerability as he stuttered. I have also shown my concern at the same time, but they continued.
"We all just came from the previous royals that had its line extinguished. Even if the threats that pestered us are gone, time can become hostile the longer it goes on. We have a right to be troubled, so I ask you now." All the judging look of the council men, it pierced my skin as it was like before but now, I don't have to be alone as long I have him.
He looked at me in turmoil, but sudden realization was found on his face. Looking back at them confident of his answer, "I can't answer as of right now, although I say that, it'll sound selfish. We'll cross the bridge when it gets there some day."
"Well indeed being a king, is said to be selfish." Shot a glance at me, "But we did warn you." Sighed in worry, they all collectively looked at each other for a proper end. "Very well, we'll be looking forward to such bridge it is."
We both scurried outside breathlessly, I took a peek right back at him to see a blushing mess as the same with me. "Well, that was something." Both of our eyes now in contact, him unworried about his composure, "Whenever you're comfortable, Emilia-tan." I felt a dam of relief hearing that sweet-laced nickname that I could shout out-loud in happiness yet the reoccurring churning feeling of despair came knocking after the realization what he had just said.
It's always for the sake of me, isn't it?
No way that it was him being selfish. All for my indecisiveness, he's willing to wait.
◤—–—–—–—–—–—–—◢
Anxiety, all that was felt after that day we have been both asked of such a thing. I knew that I shouldn't be troubled by a demand asked of us. That obligation, indeed a bridge that we have to cross one day, and an unknown date that's nearing in. It was never a question whether the bond we shared was mutual, yet why of right now was myself doubting the affection he gave all these years. Am I even worth the woman that he worked so hard for a high pedestal to us both?
Funnily rhetorical, yet I hate the forsaken question existing in my head in the first place. I felt like throwing up. "Emilia-sama." The servants bowed as they walked past me, each one of them, I can't read their faces. I felt worry, I feel sick.
I kept my composure until the nearby was clear, ran away to nearest bathroom as I thrown up bile onto the sink. Anxiety pitted, troubled in my breathing. I raised my neck, then see that face that seemed to share the same concern as you. Mirroring my struggles, oh how I loathe you.
I cleaned up after, composure that swayed long ago, I'm sure that it's not my day today. Taking a leave as I must have been exaggerating an issue; I'm sure he'll just scoff it aside.
Sinking on to the feathered bed, I stared at the unchanging ceiling, raising up my hands to reach. What am I scared of …?
Before I had noticed, the sun had started to set, painting the room it's crimson-glow, until it was no longer. It was then replaced by the settling lamp beside me I shook to open. I continued to stare at the ceiling as I had my wrists paned on the top of my forehead.
There was a click, another was the creak of the door opening. "Emilia-tan?"
I glance forth at the door frame to see his figure that holds a tray as he peeked in. He had a melancholic look, walking close until he reached beside me. Setting the tray that held an assortment of food. He sat besides, putting over his palms over to my head as if to make sure of something. 'Nothing's wrong with me, I'm fine' is what my mouth failed to say.
"This is troubling, you did indeed have a fever, 'milia." Conflict span across his face, until a look that made up his mind. Whilst I wonder, how come for the likes of me that proudly shouted being a Witch of Ice then became bothered by a fever?
I could only silently chuckle at the irony. He stood up and went somewhere my eyes couldn't follow. Silence ringed, before then; he came back along-side what looked like a basin and clean cloth.
No words were said as the water swooshed around whilst being soaked in the basin, tensioning the towel moments after it then was laid on top of my forehead.
My senses dulled to the point of not noticing a spoon that rests the steam coming from the soup until, "Here," I bite over the spoon in a panic, "It's fine to tell me if you can't finish the rest, alright?"
The action was repeated until the bowl of once-steaming soup was none. "I'll be right back," I weakly raised my hands to reach, wanting for him to stay right beside me. It might've been my sore throat that once again that words fail me.
Missing my chance as the solace returned,
Darkness overtook the corners of my sight.
The room settled to be lit by the bright blue moon.
—▼△▼△▼△▼—
I awoke by the sight in seeing the faint brightness of the sun against my skin, and a sight of him. Unaware of the surroundings whilst it snored.
Sitting upright, as I glanced once more beside. Resisting the urge to poke his cheek, I tried to make my way before a sudden feeling of fatigue ran through inside me. Headache was all I felt seeing everything around me incoherent. Losing strength slowly as my dizziness took over. Plopping down my head to ease the pain.
"Mhrhm," Doing so, I had accidentally woken him up. "Emilia-tan?" Rubbing his eyes, rising upright to sit straight. "Are you alright?" We both shared the glance, with his in worry.
"Ahh, I'm just not feeling well right now. But I'm sure it'll be fine once I washed myself after." Reassuring him apprehensively, must have backfired. He stood up from the bed as I tried to follow but struggled. The forsaken headache hindering my movement.
"It's fine, Emilia-tan. I'll take over some of your work for today and take today as you day-off. I'll try to make it back soon." Kneeling to be in the same height as me, his face neared mine and before his lips moisten my own. Leaving the room shortly after, left its words "I'll inform the maids to be in help if ever you needed help." And there he goes.
I'm once again bothered by my own thoughts. Having no worth for a day is terrifying. I winced, nevertheless I have no strength to mull over it more. Thinking that, I took that time to rest.
Reeling of the curtains, footsteps nearing in. I opened my eyes to which my sight was filled with gold. Nudging my eyes to lessen my weariness, focusing my sight in seeing a petite-shaped figure reveled of gold hair, it took time for me to notice that she was a maid implying by her outfit.
"Subaru-sama asked me directly to take care of you for today, so don't be shy on what to ask tsu~!" I was a bit confused by her mannerisms, albeit still shone certain harmless that I can't help but smile back in gesture.
"O, Oh. Good Morning to you too, Louis-chan." Then hearing after a clank, to the left she set aside a tray of dishes. Whatever may her earlier quirks be, it didn't affect her diligence at all preparing some of the food served. "I'll take it from here, thank you." After giving me a bowl of warm soup.
"Like I said before, Nee-san. Just ask if you need anything~" Clasping her hands together whilst saying that in an aloof tone. 'Eheh⭐' Twinkled her eyes were.
I shuddered.
◤—–—–—–—–—–—–—◢
It has been a long-while listless days; has it been weeks or months?
I noticed an uproar in the passing servants, yet they all feel tense when I confronted them about it. Not knowing why, I asked directly the head-maid.
Headed towards the kitchen as it seemingly a coincidence, I already found who I was looking for. Almost immediately noticing my presence, she coolly shook her peached-hair, now facing my direction.
"Mhm, Emilia-sama. What seems to be the issue?" Awkwardly blocking the door, I may be that naïve but I was not that dense. I think so. Noticing my doubts appearing on my face, "Ah, I assure you that there's nothing strange, Emilia-sama." Voice that sounded so monotone, yet her conflicted strained look was in plain-sight.
I tried to really get behind this as I opened my mouth to then hear a very loud clang what might be fallen metallic objects. Each object that fell only narrowed her eyes, as if to cringe the incident behind her. Afterwards were the sounds of panicking servants-alike inside, until a figure was pushed outside of the room. Once again, a familiar petite-girl appeared in front of me, though this time her gold-gleaming hair was covered in white-flour and that seems also the case throughout her body. "Ohh, nice seeing you again, Nee-san."
"Oh, ahh. Hello to you too." I was now very much amidst beyond confusion.
Sighing did the peach-maid woman, numbing the bridge of her nose in an attempt to hold her temper. "I'm not going to question anymore that man's decision to be here, but so be it." Scanning her from top to bottom, "Haah, go clean yourself after now. That's an order." Succumbing into acceptance, knowing it'll be futile even if she antagonized her by scolding the gold-maid for hours.
The aurous-petite maid energetically nodded as she began to waddle along the hallway, surprisingly careful to avoid much mess with the flour stamping on the ground. "We're really busy right now, but if it's urgent, I can make it a top priority. Emilia-sama."
Feeling bad for her considering the incident that happened just now, "No, it's alright." I decided to leave them alone for now, if ever, I'll just ask him.
Hearing my words, noddingly agreed, turning back to face the door as she went in.
In the end, my question stayed unanswered while the others kept it under-wraps. Knowing that they won't budge; I return back to my office.
—▼△▼△▼△▼—
The skies showed signs of dusk, yet the outside of my office still felt eerily quiet compared the earlier commotion. I began to pat myself down, to again check what seems to be problem. Opening the door, apparently shocked someone behind it. "Ah! Emilia-tan."
"Su—, uhm. What are you doing out here?" I meekly said out-loud in surprise. Seeing my confusion, he smiled wide in turn. Grabbing ahold of my hand, I felt the coarseness of his fingers locking tight.
"I want to show you something, come follow me." In a hushed voice compared than before, navigating the unusual dark hallways. In the end of the east-wing, there was a lone large door, underneath the gaps of the said door was the only lit light. I could feel now the giddiness of the man beside me, excited for what I might see.
There he stood first in front of me, knocked thrice. The voices behind the door stopped, and he looked at me in anticipation. Eyes guiding me to open the door see what's behind it.
"Happy Birthday–—!" I widened my eyes as far as it can go, every face I known for so long, united with joy just for me. Before I knew it, was the droplets of tears streak along my cheek, I was greatly happy. Gaping my mouth in shock, I took a glance asking a question if he did all of this. Understanding with ease, he nodded.
"I, I—" I'm speechless, but they deserve to hear my gratefulness, I sincerely spun up my head on what to say, "Thank you everyone," Out of habit, bowing down in gratitude seeing as everyone worked hard for this spectacle. Unable to say more, as I let myself tear up at the sight.
Entering the room was a trigger for the celebration that took place, each of them aside from the servants that handle giving out dishes. Close friends laughing closely, and other guests that seemed to be acquaintances of him. All in all, enjoying themselves in the occassion.
"Hey, what's with the gloom-feeling you're putting out." He tapped my left shoulder, handing out a glass that holds red wine. I sharply took a whiff, as now I held it in my hands. Getting a hazy feeling just by the aroma it gave, he offered a cheer, accepting the gesture, I reciprocated back. "It's been a thrilling year even if it all came into a close, we're still here enjoying the view."
"I suppose it is, Subaru." I shot my own genuine smile; At that moment as he witnessed such a sight in ages as if he found gold, he returned an awestruck look before morphing into a grin. Name that was spoken after a long while, the sanpaku-eyed man knew its impact on how she felt just by speaking of it.
His worries subsided as the feigned distance she's putting was reachable, he's happy despite brief this moment was.
"Glad you think so too, Emilia-tan." Nearing close, as he kissed gently my forehead. Leaving an aroma of bitter wine, we both stared at each for a long-while until we noticed the sudden cease of background chatters. Then we realized that they were all observing us in our bubble. "Hey, what's this, why have you all gone quiet?"
"Cutee~~!" They all simultaneously shrieked the same word, 'Eh?' confusion struck him as he looked around. I could look back in fluster.
"So when will the little runts due?" A loud voice heard before he got patted in the back hard, as the man snickered noisily. He could only let out a heavy sigh in shame and embarrassment, he looked at me to gauge on what I thought. It deepened the redden-blush already found on my face, and the laughter were louder than before, getting caught up in the drunken celebration. I took time to sip through mine.
—▼△▼△▼△▼—
Everything was a blur, the noises that surrounded me had died down since then. "Are you alright?" Yet I was still able to make out a face that I was so familiar with. I tried to compose myself yet all I got was a struggle. Swaying to the side that I was sure to meet the ground, but he caught me. "Guess not."
Wrapping his arms from my back to my legs, he carried me somewhere I have yet discerned. Wooden clicks of the door, as it swung open.
Setting me gently on the comforts of the bed, seemingly contemplating what it shall do next implied by the solemn night's peace. Was an unbroken silence until I heard the sounds and pressure upon me as it seemed my clothes was taken apart, one by one. It felt chilly at that moment. I shivered to show my discomfort, the said man suggests to quickly pick upon as he hurried his movements, clattering sound of footsteps. It went silent for a short minute as the man came back.
"…"
Rustling noises reached my ears, something snaking my legs smoothly going above. Heavy breathing. Repeatedly. I could feel the shakiness of its cold hand, until it disappeared, replaced by the warmth of something. Silky woven, now covered the before bare-legs of mine, yet it still felt chilly atop. That thought then all was for naught as it was next then covered.
I hear heavy breathing, so close to me. I hear the beating of my own heart. Alive.
It was then I realized that exasperated breathing was arisen from my own lungs.
I opened my eyes to see the still image of him observing my own glance.
Our stares never shown respite, his lips making contact once more to mine, I felt a desire to want more yet I was once more reminded it becoming too late as he now shook himself off beside the bed, I can't let go an opportunity again, then a spur of the moment as a decision made with a drunken stupor, I roughly pulled back his arm, thrown back into the cushions softening the impact of what I have done.
He was now in a state of confusion as I laid on top of him, at the mercy of my temperament. His head in-between my trembling hands as they supported my torso whilst my leg brushed upon his thigh. "E, Emilia-tan" Stuttered his concerns such the cause of this disparity to my usual self.
I want to hold his cheeks against my palm, I want to hold out and reach for his hands when I'm need, I want to be held by the gentleness and warmth of his body as if I became deprived of such thing. That was silly, didn't he pledged upon himself that he'll forever belong to me. Yet why does it all end with feelings of guilt and shamelessness, being the result of wanting myself to be selfish. Why can't I be unshackled by the pitting thorns each time I held out to reach, and for him to satiate my selfishness.
Craving for a personal comfort, my desires to be satiated. Should I prove our love right here and then now?
I wryly closed the distance for the both of our lips, so close I could feel his warm breath. Before the moment that seals the moment, I stopped midway, whether I was hesitating or the fact that every scenery surrounding, had blurred as if time stood still. I hear the cackle of someone, why would he take my turmoil to be so humorous. Could it be?
No, it can't be, he wouldn't. He would never. That would only leave to the only person other than him in the room.
"Ahahah" I was laughing, but to whom?
It was a question directed to no one, not needing an answer. The pain in my chest continues as it slowly became difficult to breath, but still found its desire to keep laughing, at myself. Fallen tears met the soft skin of his, a face in utter confusion and concern.
The laughter that then became into sobs, losing support from the both of my arms, I fell into his chest as my tears seeped through, staining it with my sorrow. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry–—" Repeatedly muttering out an apology, but for whom once again?
His rough hands brushed tenderly against my lockes. Hushing sweet-nothings onto my ears, hummed gentle-tones of console.
It didn't take long for I lost track of time; by then my consciousness slipped into absence.
◤—–—–—–—–—–—–—◢
"Emilia-sama, I must inform you that I'll be taking my leave and for how long is something I don't have an answer yet." While I was tidying up the papers done for the day, an abrupt announcement was heard right in front of her. It took time to register, yet after I settled the stacks of work beside; a headache made its way through my head.
"Should I ask the reason for this sudden decision you made, Rem-san?" I stopped signing the needed papers to show my attention for her. Hovering now my hands in anxiety in the middle, this is quite the most literal suddenness. I know how much did the two of them went through, subsequently forced to work together whilst one forgotten by the world even so far not remembering its name.
It was a hurdle indeed, to survive in that country back then was a cooperation, a must need. Persevering with that much burden on his shoulders, it's an impressable feat. Albeit, that was so long ago and it still shown the fruits of the two's coerced cooperation, she had shown great care to him and the same could be said about him.
Although not living up to the same 'Rem' as he remembered, alas could be seen as a faint regret he admitted. Even that aside, they both have great respect from each other, asserting those in friendly terms instead.
"I wanted to say it personally that, even if I accepted the fact that I'll never be the person the people surrounded me remember, I still can't agree to what I have left behind as that person, became anymore as a burdening regret to the people who I cherish." It took some courage for her to say it in a straight face, hinted by the tense face as she merely avoided stuttering, this was no doubt a hard decision for her. "I found it reasonable, as the source of the issue. I'll be taking my leave." Ah. I gaped my mouth, not to the resolution she gave with utmost sincerity but to that gnawing feeling strangely resonated with the woman's doubt.
"Emilia-sama?" Zoning out in the midst of my own thoughts. Regaining my senses back whilst in the process of finding what words to answer.
"Oh, Oh right. Did you already inform him about this request?" Defaulting into worry that he might be saddened by this decision, he could at least have a heads-up before she says her goodbye.
However, that worry was quickly turned redundant before, "I have no plans to." Bluntly answered that I could be found in awe, "I hope you don't find that disrespectful, but in truthfulness, I don't want him to see me leave in such a state, nor do I want to see him worried more-so. I have no qualms whether you reject this reason, I just want to figure out myself besides the 'Rem' you have all known before."
"I can't blame you for that, I was going to ask you if you're sure about this, but just by hearing and seeing your resolute face was enough as an answer." I sighed. The once radiant oceanic-blue haired maid that clung most of the time beside him, now was in front of me showing the most fierce-look it can give. I shivered, I could hear my own heart's beating, but why?
The world that seemed to blur coincidingly while my lungs spasm looking for air. What were the words, that resonated deeply with me?
I tried to collect my thoughts as they shouted incoherently, I furrowed my brows as I sweated away my numbing pain. "Emil—"
"I'm alright." Lie. I naturally lied once more, a deceit mostly to fool myself more-so than others. I could see traces of her own concern but wanting to say her words in that regard but decided not to instead. She looked at me strangely.
I heavily let out a breath. "Well then, up to this point. I hereby, declare you stricken off your duty. In any case that there's time of urgent need, we'll be right here." I stood up from my chair to give a bow in-respect of her services and care for these past years.
"A, Ah. T-That's unneeded. I'm the one asking for this very much selfish favor." I chuckled at her dismay, well this could be the last time we'll see each other, I hoped to at the very least convey with my actions how grateful we all are in her care.
"In that sense, I'll pass the message to him when the time comes. Did you already say goodbyes to your sister?" I asked, it would be appreciated if she could at least know. But it did seem insensitive, I tried to voice out my hesitation.
"N, No. It's alright. I already bid farewell." I saw the bits of droplets at the edge of her eyelids, one more push and it seemed her resolve will break. It did unjust, I berated myself for that rude remark.
"If that's the case, thanks for having us for all this time."
That was the last words I've ever said to the woman that he once also cherished utmost albeit even still now.
◤—–—–—–—–—–—–—◢
I can't get her words out of my head, echoing itself in my own mind, it was slowly becoming suffocating; putting me into daze. I let my mind wander once more, yet it only kept coming at the same recent memories. Her resolution. Could I do the same?
Indecisiveness, burdened in anxiousness. Hesitation, burdened by fear. Uncertainty, those roused eyes of theirs in-doubt.
"…" My mouth shut, dried of words to say. I winced at their faces ever-so merry just by seeing my pathetic-self, yet wasn't that because of him in the first place?
I looked beside the bed as I have settled in too long for this morning, to see none other the person she was cherished by—.
"He already left already, seems like."
◤—–—–—–—–—–—–—◢
Each day passed by listlessly, seeing now that it was falling snow. Ordinary days bygone and gone replaced by another. Gone were the sunny days, the skies couldn't be anymore gloomy.
Until that day, something of note did happen.
"Reinhard-san?" I was befuddled, confused even.
Few months ago, he left on to escort the former candidate which is the one I subsequently won, but nowhere to go I offered a position in which could she offer her own insights in matters related in some regions of this land that are disheveled in its state.
No matter how it may be for her pride to let go at that much, she let out a heaviest breath she could have, as she peered her goodbyes for her to live somewhere in solace. Understandable that it was, considering the past events of that time were just too hectic to handle.
It was also the first time that man clad in red became opposed of her lady's words. Shock was everyone's reaction, though pleaded, it all ended in naught. There he was, sent off to escort in some place that even I haven't heard of. Held in secrecy was utmost since in-blood that blonde once-candidate still holds the blood of the former royal, a necessity for her safety.
Now to the current events, he just returned from half a month's carriage. "Didn't I tell you that you can stay with them, Reinhard?" Wondering what was the decision that led up to him being back in here.
"I, I—" Eyes full of regret, yet those of acceptance. Contradicting mixed feelings, stuttering as he tried to blurt out his words that held significance. "I didn't want to be between of those two's happiness as I have known I already hurt them more than I should've." Straight-forwardly spoken, clenching his fists in a tight grasp whilst those gentle eyes of his nearing its limits as the attempts of composure were steadily declining; tears nesting itself into his sorrows.
"Reinhard …" Both of us were speechless, unable to make words of console. Whilst I was internalizing what I was meant to say in this situation, he instead took a stride forward nearing the man full of misery, reeled into a tight hug. I was less to speak, my mouth gasped a few in awe.
Patting down the back of the clad in red, it was a sight to behold.
"Alright, no matter how long it takes for you to be back to your old self; we'll be alright in granting your needs at the moment." Sounding abit callous though it did put some comfort to the man that needed it the most, smiled back as a response. It was a smile I very much recognized, it was one of a fake. Overshadowed by its own worthlessness, fooling those around itself was fine, spiraling into lies and regret.
Did I just now recognize what her earlier words that struck deep inside me, meant.
◤—–—–—–—–—–—–—◢
The man that boasted its red hair, a lineage of swordsman. Took upon itself an opportunity of the favor he was given, once more a captain of the royal knights.
Most often times, in the afternoons. Sitting by himself at the cold glow shone rays of the sun found at the farthest section unseen by the common servant. Basking in it for a few-while before continuing its duty.
"You wouldn't mind me joining in, Reinhard-san?" I breathed in the freezing breeze, waiting for a response as I stood right beside.
He looked at me with confusion, furrowing his brows for a moment before, "I don't mind, Emilia-sama." That was the cue, making place right beside him though a bit of distance was made. "I might ask, what seems the occasion."
Occasion?
Ah, it really was out of place for me to do these kinds of things contrary to that I being usually could be found at my desk albeit sometimes lingering somewhere, but not in this case where I would be sitting at the back portion of the garden.
"If it's about me, you really don't have to worry about me." Lie, a deceit not directed to fool that someone but itself. Familiar it seemed, I found it comfortably warming.
I smiled back afront, pat the back of his. "It's alright." Those were the words I hadn't said back then. Opening my eyes expecting a comforted one, yet instead what I saw was a face devoid of that feigned smile, gaped his mouth induced of blunt feelings, biting down his lips, slowly turning its face away from me.
"I really mean it when I said that you have nothing to worry about." Standing back up after its words were said. "I have to get going, sorry for taking up your time with me here." None were the emotions found in his words compared to earlier. I don't know if whether I say such a callous, unneeded remark, but what I know was that became a turning point for the both of us.
Each and other afternoons were spent in mindless chattering with that reveled-red knight. Some other days, it would be only me staring at the cold-bitter wind.
It all comes down to the both of us meeting now and then. Though he wondered where I was that I kept secluding myself in the afternoons, I guiltlessly kept my mouth shut replacing the topic of dinner into something else. It was a terrible thing to do yet why did I felt so free?
None at all, did it satiate his worries but that trust as the expectations that tried to burrowed deep inside me but all of my anxiousness were swept away just the sight of that troubled-look of that knight.
I do wonder why that is. It was really strange yet a desire that resides me yearn for temptation. I was entwined by my unwillingness to find the reason why, I felt freedom. It was almost borderline addiction of such feeling, a grasp for control.
But myself don't know that control is meant for, neither its reason for its willingness to get ahold of that desire was.
It felt intoxicating, as if it were a pint of wine that wafted wholly.
◤—–—–—–—–—–—–—◢
Did I go too far?
Exploiting one's weakness for my own selfish desire.
"Hee, Hee." Lies after lies, deceit into fraud. That's what I was.
I breathed in heavily, gasping for her whilst the stimulating felt from my bottom didn't cease to become of annoyance. "Haah, Haa~"
"Is this alright, Emilia-sama?"
I casted the thoughts of consequences aside, though useless at this point. Senselessly pushing forward into a path of unfaithfulness, I kept my grin to stop a laughter fitting for a troublesome woman like me.
"What's wrong?" Inevitably, my emotions exceeded its wits. Clenching its teeth of a folly woman. Its tears sang downwards, streaking upon her cheeks.
Before I knew it, I was a captive of two arms, hugging me tight from a man not my husband.
Hid themselves from the world, filled with genuine, only those that path—astray were these two fakes.
◤—–—–—–—–—–—–—◢
"Kyaaah—!" Hearing a tumble of sounds, metallic clanks. I glanced the place those loud noise occurred, wandering through the vast hallways for another time this day took my feet back into the kitchen.
"E, Emilia-sama!" Stuttered out their anxiousness, multiple maids of which I don't recognize. Seeking employment, they're here brimmed with nervousness as I see one of them in blunder.
"I'm sorry for this pitiful sight, Emilia-sama." Entered my sight was a long-time maid that shared similarities to someone else that left long ago. Key-difference were its hair colored in pink.
Bowed down in my direction whilst the others follow suit. Again, all of were none familiar. I nodded; none said any words. But then again, a figure of someone that felt familiar long ago caught my attention. It brought me into nostalgia, I smiled back at her not knowing if she still knew who I were nor it was the same person long ago.
I headed back out of the kitchen to let them do their work, I already understood that much seemingly today was a demonstration of each people I didn't knew in that room wanting employment in the palace.
—▼△▼△▼△▼—
It didn't take too long for my earlier qualms to be answered. As she of right now stood in front of my wooden desk. "Are you sure you want to take this job?", my tone of concern slipped from my mouth, yet her face suggested she knew what I meant. Deciding to inquire the matter further, "After serving someone forcibly for years, I would think that you'll hate even the idea of it." I stared at her marbled eyes, looking for any reaction but it was all so stoic.
"There was a difference of between that and here, I have my own say now whether shall be my employment were." Her voice spoken with dignity, laced of no hesitation. "Even then, there was this feeling of debt that I shall repay to my saviors, Emilia-sama." So it was that, I felt bad having her as our servant long after she was a captive bride and her appearance signifying for a debt unnecessarily burdening her.
It did put me into ultimatum, she must've asserted all of her efforts and courage to pass with flying colors in being selected as a maid of this vast place. It'll be troubling if she resented me for even considering rejecting her commitments to such. Although, that being said, is it even right or fair. To bring her back into a nightmarish memory when she was still in the hands of that Archbishop. Or was it that I was overthinking it?
I closed my eyes; it did feel silly for even thinking about hesitating about her fate. Well as long she wishes for such, it wouldn't be fair if she went all-out then here, I am, were to abruptly to stomp it down with my own selfish judgement.
I stood up and walked forward to be in close-distance. "I, the standing Queen of Lugunica, declare of your pledge to serve that will become your retainers, loyalty is a must, I ask of you."
"A, Ah. I solemnly accept." I overlooked the startled look she gave; it was quite abrupt but it's a Noblesse Oblige that I must see through for someone at her abilities.
"Alright," I took a step back towards my seat, "I believe you already met our head maid; I advise for you to meet her though I insist in being escorted as I assume you're unfamiliar yet with the place." I shot a glance towards a maid behind her, she bowed down whilst I continued on, "Make yourself comfortable while you wait." Urging her to find a place to sit on.
She made her way towards a chair near the door, seemingly observing the room. I chuckled internally as I continued on working with the papers needing my approval.
It took a few moments, before a knock was heard at the door. "I heard you called for me, Emilia-sama." It took my sheer will to refuse a smile, biting my tongue in the process of restraining the transpired events these past months. I noticed the newly employed maid staring at me.
I averted my gaze to compose myself before, "Lead her towards the head maid and she shall decide on what the tasking of hers will be."
He understood my words.『 The Sword Saint 』nodded as he smiled back at me. Guiding the said maid outside towards their location, I can't help but let out a massive sigh.
◤—–—–—–—–—–—–—◢
I marched forth the hallways, albeit realizing that I haven't gone around much these parts for some time, I resolute to get rid of that gnawing feeling that I was apparently guilty of. It's not as if I never seen him for a long time, we both see each other at the times of meal, and just before we gone to bed. Yet why was it ever felt so bothering at the back of my head that I mindlessly walked towards his room.
I just then reached the end of the hallway, but before I managed a grasp of the door handle, "It would have been a crazy wild story if weren't for the people that wholly put their lives into experiencing such chaos." Voices.
"Even now, I still haven't taken up the fact that I was here, in a fantasy world of my dreams." His voice as he goes on to reminiscent. "Ah, don't be confused by that last part, I was uhm– thinking out loud." Frantically covering up his blunder, I stifled a nostalgic chuckle at his silliness that it may be years ago since I met him, he was still the same person I've known. Anxiety crept in.
"I can't proclaim every event that happened which I think it's unfortunate that it's doing it unjust for everyone that worked hard for the future they wanted." I meekly stood much closer to the door, my ear making contact at the wooden surface, contrary was the background noise that was the beating of my own heart.
"Everything didn't go as planned, but I guess the silver lining was that it all worked out in the end, even I managing to marry someone outside my league, ha ha. Although she felt so distant as of right now, but I trust her that she had her reasons." Confusion struck me, it then reminded me of the same gnawing feeling from that time, scouring attempting to stand straight, caught me in a daze. Hearing his words, all for so in how he thought of me.
Denial. I scampered away from the door, the ever-growing pain in my chest.
I knew that I had to quickly get rid of this feeling.
I saw my reflection, contradicting features one another.
One of a strained-smiles, whilst painted by a streaking-tears down its cheek.
"…"
I frowned at the realization, there was nothing that I have done to be something wrong.
Right?
Alike of a cracking confidence, the very same hesitation I loathed.
My worries would be held-away as the matter would be quickly resolved if I called him.
Wouldn't it?
"Hahaha–—" I promptly found myself shadowing that look across my face, by a staggering laughter.
I'm pathetic.
◤—–—–—–—–—–—–—◢
There comes a moment, where you would rather avert your eyes away from reality so harsh. Sore to the eyes, but it doesn't go for both ways in realization.
"Tch," Eyes welling up of swirling emotions that had its once gentle-framed sharp eye to be filled of hate. However, despite in seeing the amassed sins I did. Those same-eyes damming with disdain never took its approach towards me.
Just then, it struck me wholly of what I've done. Knocking me out of my stupor, yet before I even had the chance to shout my pathetic excuses. He already ran away from the ghastly opened door, unseen once again.
Only that was left was now the current situation. Reinhard looked at me with nervousness, hoping for an idea to come from me. An escape. In spite of that recent realization, I trampled it to the ground as I find a way out. Running away from the issues confronted, was it that what I became as a person?
I wouldn't know.
—▼△▼△▼△▼—
Strapping ourselves at the back of an Earth Dragon, I looked behind one last time. Even if I came to regret it some-day; I don't expect him to forgive me.
If there's some things to be regretted, is that I made an innocent man to ever so fell in love towards someone like me.
Slathering my cover, as I put up its hood. It wasn't an ending he could've liked nor anyone else's.
Choosing a selfish decision this late, it really was disgusting.
"Sorry." Muttering an apology, unbefitting of the magnitude of what I've just did.
Sylphy's Turn
A Maid's Tale
Have you ever heard about the story of a runaway princess, tragically breaking those that cherished her, one by one's heart shattered?
It seemed an outlandish tale, those that heard it would most likely shaken their heads at the thought of it. Although, years and years had gone by. No one really knew what happened next of such tragedy, despite all of this, there's something for certain; introduced by the books recovered back from the dust.
Of all ages, there was a tale of a pure maid, whose heart skipped a beat as it was taken away by a foolish yet gentle-kind King.
Once was a foolish heart that got trampled of old bitter love, the maid took it upon herself to mend such wounds of his. Albeit irking scars, mutually unconditional was the affection the two had.
The tale goes on something like this–—
◤—–—–—–—–—–—–—◢
Light seeped through the curtains, albeit the gap covers was more certain than before letting sunlight barrage even more-so. Grumpily opening his eyes, hazy and blurry.
He saw figure that sat in the middle of his vision, a person that had its hair showily gazed by the morning sun besides the paned-window. Reflecting its glow, he called out towards that individual, "Emilia-tan, why are you up this early?" Yawning, rubbing his half-awake eyes.
No response was heard, "Emilia-ta–—" tried calling out once more, until its almond-shaped eyes finally gave focus, wearing out the blur found earlier ago. It was of a blonde-addled woman, its eyes glimmering shades alike of a deep sea. The hallucinations of the two's contrasting figure, merged as fantasy was rewritten into reality. She wasn't here anymore.
"Subaru-sama?" Clenching his fists, bottling up his urge to cry. Oh, how did the realization have then reminded him of that day. Seeing his turmoil, she ran across elegantly besides his bed. "Is there something …" She didn't want to point out the obvious, there was something wrong. Berating herself as she didn't have any way to help him out of this pitiful state.
Subaru seeing her hesitation after seeing him in this state. "I'm glad you stayed along with my selfish request." He frankly told her, without any thoughts nor feelings besides admiration behind it. Unknowingly struck the maid in awe. Thoughts about that, he did actually remember that embarrassing scene.
"I, I, Ah. Y, You're my employer so I'm just doing my–—" She didn't want to say such blunt words at this time. Not heeding to disrespecting his inner feelings in any way. Despite that, the man laid upon the bed only took upon himself to laugh outwardly.
The moment was then quickly contrasted, of the maid now in its own turmoil while the other laughed at such. Lessening the gloomy atmosphere, into a tone of merry, an actual chance for his onslaught-scarred heart to rest for a fleeting-moment.
Solace returning to the room, Sylphy composed herself, but didn't help but joined in the ambiguous scene with a chuckle.
"Suuuuuuubaaaaaaaruuuuuu-samaaaaaaaa tsuu~" There was then suddenly a loud declaration before a petite figure busted through the door.
There was silence, the two only did so much to stare at the abrupt visitor. "Was I interrupting something?" She asked whilst scratching her upper lip, grinning. Well, for the maid, she could only show grimace with its cheeks reddened, although the same couldn't be same for the oblivious sanpaku-eyed King.
"Not at all. What seems to be that brought you here?" Tilting his head to show his ponder, the petite-figure could only grin much wider.
"Ram-sama mentioned about to keep watch of Sylphy-san, I thought something urgent happened so I quickly rushed my way here." Proclaimed her reasons tinted of innocence, there was no underlying motives found in her words. "I trust Sylphy-san but did something actually happen–—hmm~?"
Her crystal orbs glared at the stoic maid, raising its eyebrow while retaining the same smug look. "Seriously, nothing happened." Raising her voice, a bit for her to hear its denial of such absurd accusation.
"Hmm~" Observing the two of them, then calmly shrugged. "Oh, well. I was just teasing you Nee-san." Her mannerisms had seemed to mimic a certain someone that it actually pained Sylphy to see the sight again, sighing in defeat.
"The actual reason was that I was called here to Subaru-sama's room because of breakfast. So, you should get moving tsu~." Raising her hands to pose a peace-sign on her forehead, 'tee-hee`.
"Ahah, who taught you that Louis-chan." Subaru chuckled for a moment until the realization quickly spanned his head. It was him that taught her that, "O, Oh yeah." Coughing up his mistake, "Anyways, I'll be right with you. You can go ahead with the others. You too." Gesturing for her to come along also with the petite maid, hoping for her to understand that he still needs some distance.
Both of the young maids nodded at his order, walk themselves out of the room.
"…"
He suddenly felt tired than usual, but time goes on even with his sulking. It'll not wait for you to make up your own mind, 'lest you deal with its harsh-bitter slap of reality itself. Forcibly stretching out his arms, out of habit looking to his right to see no left traces of her at all; neither does her shape that formed once in the bed vanished. As if she never existed at all.
All for certain, he wants to avert his eyes away, but he can't. It won't do him any good yet it feels right to stare off into nothingness. She won't come back. Taken away.
Biting his tongue, clenched his fist yet it felt no pressure. He wants to scream in anger, thrash around. Dust off the once disingenuous mask he used to wear.
If anyone known about how much it hurts to give up, tuck tail, and run away. It would be him. Stubborn than most, he had known how much it hurts, that's why he kept fighting. No matter dead-ends he had seen, all for a path he could see that everyone else's had theirs realized.
Indecisiveness, whether to forgive and live in peace. Or to be distraught and lash-out. Hopping on revenge at this point, is pathetic. It would become the contrast of who he was and how he became to be.
There was no Karma in such. Wishing for other's sake, either good or bad. Only leads to someone else's misfortune. He won't bid farewell.
Neither was Revenge to be needed, that was even more miserable. There's nothing to salvage in which trying to fill the void that was satisfaction, vast and cold as it was to appease the temptations to strike back in spite.
I could stay loathing myself, hopelessly remembering that's not there. Shutting my feelings out for the sake of others could lead only in worry.
It's different now.
I have people to rely on, compared to the last of my lowest points. It won't change the outcome that was her leaving me so far long into our paths. It was hers to regret someday, as I deal with the pain of mine.
She was the one that made such a mistake, yet it only felt so empty.
'Why?'
He could mull over and over, racking up his wind for reasons unknown. Anxiety that dwelled on him to whether it was actually his fault or another's. Unsure of that fact, he became restless.
Listless nights that passed by, he still couldn't find an answer.
It was then that night, a recent blue moon. His hands were warm, held in gentleness. Empathy that covered his entire palm, grasped upon his insecurities. It was the only night he felt so certain since then. A dreamless night that sought out for more, only then that was left is his steady breathing.
Staring at his coarse palm for a while, he gazed back to the figure of pale-blonde maid that statured at the vast window at his wake.
He smiled, genuinely. Sighed as he was now then reminded that they'll get even more worried the longer he stayed in here. Hopping off the bed towards the closet. It was yet another day he has to strive through.
It was that day, a resolution that was made. He couldn't forgive those that betrayed his trust, but he shouldn't latch onto these feelings any longer.
Natsuki Subaru, was and even still, the stubborn man that everyone saw him as. He can't run away from that, and will face anything head-on. It's in human nature to avert their eyes at such sore sight, despite that; he won't run away.
◤—–—–—–—–—–—–—◢
"So, remind me again, why are we doing this for another time?" He patted down his cloak, whilst asking a question to the two suspects that brought him here out of their own free-will. "Not that I mind but …" After which, he became aloof.
"I'm really sorry, Subaru-sama." Bowing down her apologies for a fault not her own but the petite maid beside her. "I tried to reel her back into our rooms, but she suddenly had an idea of her own and ran off here." Exasperation could only be found in her face, in disappointment on both herself and the small maid that looked so proud.
"Yep tsu~" To start suddenly clinging onto his sides, Subaru sympathized with Sylphy as he laughed deterioratingly. "Besides, we haven't done this for some time already." Shrugged broadly with its shoulder, Subaru wondered whether did she really rubbed off from the peach-haired maid. "It's pretty fun too you know?"
"Yeah, but why drag me into this after bursting into my office that I nearly spilled the ink onto some papers." He voiced out his complaints but it's tone unlike of anger, just genuine disappointment.
"Ah, right. Sorry about that. Forgive me tsu~." Clasping her hands together into an exaggerated pose of a prayer. Subaru just muttered his inner-ire of how cheeky she became to be. "Putting that aside, don't just look so gloomy every day, it's creepy to see someone that generally smiles the entire time to be so down, it's even more apparent with those eyes of yours too."
"Well, I guess, I could use some break." Now swayed to be onboard, Sylphy could only look in how sly this petite figure was.
"Subaru-sama …" Looking aghast, regardless of that, she had no complaints. She'll be right his side when he needed it the most.
—▼△▼△▼△▼—
"Well, that was pretty fun I've to say." Now sat the three of them in a bench, both Subaru and Sylphy were pretty exhausted from the walking and the culprit was once again, the blonde-haired girl that dragged them throughout of who knows where they have been for the past hours. Looking from her satisfied look, she contrasted the tired look the other two gave.
"Indeed, it was, Subaru-sama." Agreeing to the same sentiment, although lesser that Louis had shown.
"Just call me Subaru. It feels out of place to be so polite when we're like this outside. Didn't I already tell you before?" Referring to their shabby cloak, underneath was clothes that befitted a normal folk around these areas. In the bench they sat on, was a formation being that Louis was between the two of them, almost as if they were like a–—.
Clapping both of her reddening cheeks, "Yes, Su, Subaru." Looking downcast in shame yet a look of relief was seen instead.
"Why are you both suddenly started being so chummy together, hmm?" Narrowing her eyes to the atmosphere both gave. Recognizing what she meant, was the two's resulting fluster.
Subaru doesn't know why is he feeling this way. It feels scummy to suddenly move so quick from the events that transpired, it certainly felt wrong to be catching feelings for someone else just to fill in the gaps of his heart that had once a special person in it. Though it felt right to move on from this horrible mess, nevertheless a dilemma.
It feels wrong to call it giving in, but what are choices does he have?
Whatever it was that he was feeling right now, he really didn't care that much as long he sees the people around was smiling the same as him.
He vowed to go on once more gathering like these, no matter how many times, he's interested in seeing it until the end. Subaru would give it his all for another try.
◤—–—–—–—–—–—–—◢
Life was heaps of misfortune; it was never linear towards something you strived for. Making every outcome your actions that became to be, unpredictable.
After that encounter, with her and Louis. The "breaks" that was once or twice a week agreed upon meeting, became frequent whether if he had nothing else to do that day. Sometimes with just her after Louis backing out after saying that she needed to do something that day, which was strange but didn't really matter much.
It didn't take long for others to notice his increasingly bright mood.
"So did anything happen recently, Natsuki-san?" Tidying up the papers to be neat, the grey-haired man that sat right across him said.
"Not as of late, why'd you ask?" Putting down his pen, now gazing to the man's ever-so increasing grin.
"Ohoh, I didn't take you for someone to easily lie, Subaru." Now utterly confused to what he may be referring to. Tilting its head as a response, the grey-haired man only frowned.
"I really don't know what you're talking about, Otto. I must say that I'm pretty much the same with these past weeks." Scowling at his doubts, yet the man just chuckled right after.
"You're not telling us something, so–— who is it then, hmm?" Smugly poking his nose somewhere alike of his position shouldn't, but the two had best of friends long ago, knowing each and other's cues. Subaru narrowed his eyes whilst maintaining the same scowl look earlier, but then remember a significant detail to blurt out unintentionally.
"If you're that damn persisting, well I guess it would be that I get dragged into Louis-san's scheme in the afternoon with Sylphy." The moment Otto heard it, he stopped frozen.
"Eh?" He didn't really mean for it like a serious question, but got a puzzle-piece to the answer for his recent psyche. "So, it's Sylphy-san making a move. I guess it did have to be her, huh." Muttering his conclusions, making Subaru even more annoyed.
"What are you whispering all about?" Subaru crossed his arms in ire, "Though I hope you didn't misunderstand, there's nothing between us. Alright?" Digging out a hole of misunderstandings was a must in this situation, he didn't really want to explain it to others.
"That's what they all say, hmm?" Subaru really did shoot his foot here, scowling at his friend's irritable smug grin. He sighed heavily, before taking upon his pen to continue working. Tagging along, Otto did the same.
◤—–—–—–—–—–—–—◢
There was a knock at the door, the another. Until it let itself in the office, "Geez, Nii-chan. You really made me sweat finding such an untraceable person. Don't you think it's time to let go already?" Plopping down at the seat found in front of his desk, lackadaisical unbefitting of someone that serves someone under royalty.
"It's not really about that, this is just my own way of coming into terms with it." His voice that was unfamiliar to such tone that had no spirit. "Whenever she was, it's her mistake as I would like to sleep in peace too, I deserve that much. Haaaah—" Groaning at the thoughts of it makes his stomach churn. "So did you find her?"
"I sure did, just for you Nii-chan." Though her posture merely changed a few, she still radiated an aura of pride in her skills being once as deadly assassin into someone Subaru could trust wholly.
"I see." Relief painted across his face, following the same posture now as her. "That's good."
"So~, what'll be then my reward after all that work." Hummed slyly, standing up to place herself right next to him. "Big Brother."
He never understood how quick she became to look like someone from a time long ago, though lacking a bit on the chest area; she excelled in the mannerisms alike of that seductive assassin that it made him shiver. "Uh, let me think for a minute."
"Oh," It didn't take too long for an idea to pop-up in his head, "Why don't you just come with us at noon?" Exclaiming an idea of what he's been up to these days, though inducing a confusion for her.
"Hm? Who's this 'us'?" Not even asking where they would go but a question of suspicion. She knew better that Subaru barely comes outside his office at day unless needed. And there was this fact that there was someone else, she always had her ears opened while she loitered around the palace but never heard about him coming along with someone.
"Oh right, I haven't yet told you guys. Well, it's all for a good reason that is, I think. Just come with me after lunch alright?" Subaru became giddy that he finally had someone let into the secret, though an actual reason would be that it's embarrassing for a royalty to go out on his way to secretly rendezvous for an outing, cosplaying as your average folk he rules upon.
"Mhm, I'll take you up on that offer then" Trundling into the door, shotting a last suspicious look before closing it.
Giddy as he were, he felt anxiety for such a silly secret to even keep.
—▼△▼△▼△▼—
Opening the door into the cellar, the paled-golden haired maid took notice and arose from where she sat, coming to greet him before noticing that someone else had come along. "Subaru … -sama." She felt obliged to add honorifics seeing that there's someone besides them.
"I don't seem to see Louis-san anywhere," He looked around the room, and seemed to confirm his own question.
"She … got scolded away by Ram-sama after seemingly tried to sneak-off after causing a ruckus at the kitchen today. I was told to just go by myself." Subaru imagined that situation in his head and it did deem plausible, then tapped Meili's shoulder to introduce her.
The maid and the figure of purple stared at each other, albeit the latter was outright glaring at her. "It's … nice to meet you, I'm Meili. Nii— Subaru's trusted companion." Strangely proclaiming her trustworthiness, scoffed as she then stepped away into my back.
"Same as to you too, one's name is just simply Sylphy. Servant of the palace." Meekly stated her name, once in a while taking a glance to Subaru. Though the latter could only look in confusion.
"Is there something wrong?" Subaru asked from the two of them, yet only received a shake of their heads. "Alright, shall we set off now?" Attempting to defuse the tense atmosphere from both tag-alongs.
"Yes." They both simultaneously agreed, Subaru wanted to frown but he best leaves it at that. Leading himself towards the door, and there they go once again venturing using their free-time in the afternoons.
It was strange, even for those others that gets to hear about it. Here I was standing over seller's shop that prepares sweets. Specifically, a sort of liquid that looked like dough that wraps around whatever insides you asked the person handling such. I don't what else was put into it, but that's the gist, earning the name of 'crepe' popularized by the same right in front of me.
Yes, it was the very same man that was known for abundance of eccentricities that got introduced. Biting one by one of the pieces, as if to savor each piece. No less, I got my own 'crepe' of which the flavor on whim that vaguely resembles a shade of red.
I've said all of that, but there's something bothering me that I thought it's strange. The lady that wore a hood same as us, seemed to be enjoying her time munching as well to the sweet, yet there's this feeling I hold saying that such was only a part of it.
I was taken along with him as a way to show his gratitude to me, though I went too far into teasing that I guess it backfired, or was it?
Saying some interesting things, I, no surprise, was interested in his personal matters. Accepting his offer, a meeting place and an agreed upon time, was it really that frequent for him?
I suppressed my excitement, following into lunch in which we both eat our respective dishes in peace. I would never be used being served by someone else, and it seemed like it can be said the same to him. I stared at his awkward tendencies in accepting compliments as it was into food as well.
It really was ironic, for a man that very habitually compliments almost everyone he sees, yet himself unable to accept such. Albeit, sometimes having awareness that it's rude to just refuse so blunt from certain others, that he just gave up and let them say nice things to him. Despite that, there's the occasional fluster from all of it that I thought it's interesting to watch.
After that was settled, we briskly yet carefully made our footsteps faint as I let him lead towards the destination. Quietly barren the hallways were, or was it that he deliberately picked this route that had less traffic in the first place. If that was the case, then I must applaud him for being this discreet. Almost as if he's up to no good. 'Heh'
He turned around his neck hearing my snicker, I scolded myself after that. There had been no conversation whilst we walked, though it saddens me a few considering that we barely passed-by each other. It became even more apparent after that incident.
My indifference turned into hate; chastising every part of my being to not show my scorn at the sorry-excuse of a person. It took much of me to not loudly exclaim my surprise than it should've when he asked for a favor, the task that was given, to send a letter of farewell.
I was baffled, to say the least. I had shown my protest here and there, but he insisted. His voice that was raised, a force that was never heard by everyone else besides me that day. I tried to be stubborn even more, but the longer it took, was his growing look of conflict in its face. That's when I realized that, he wanted to move on. It must have taken everything in his spirit to write this what I held in once in my hands. Subaru Nii-chan was too generous.
Reluctantly took upon the task, I made and reconnected acquaintances, giving it my all. Dismayed that I might and will have to see her face, I grimaced. I was convinced that it'll be quite easy to find her, the hate I had for her biased my findings in the end.
It's no simple to just waltz in and ask her whereabouts. But I had some ideas where she was. Heading towards the direction of her hometown, a place known for its harsh glacier, the Elior Forest.
Figuring that it was too obvious, I thought it would end there. Surprisingly, she was not there, at all. Asking around whether if they've seen her, denying of anything, I thought that she must have told them to not tell anyone of her whereabouts. Not one, a single-shred of slip-up was found from the mouths of the same kin as hers.
Back again, I was. Into finding another place she could've hidden herself. To be frank, I did really think that she was cowardly hiding in that forest. Her hometown.
I arrived back at once, in the Lugunica capital. But strayed away for now into meeting him just to say I found no results yet. It'll be embarrassing. I looked around, any possible points of escape, if ever they actually did leave this capital.
It would be difficult to hide away from the prying eyes of the people who knew you the most. Even if you wore such an intricate cloak bestowed of unrecognizability. Despite that, I still had to make sure that was the case and futilely finding bread crumbs at place she wasn't at in the first place.
Then an idea struck me, she couldn't have just vanished out of thin air and fly away towards some merry land for Od-knows where. Testing out my assumption, I'll try and ask every stable found through-out the capital. I deemed that it wasn't going to be easy at that point, dispirited, I went out first for a break and head inside an inn that may or may not have any information that interest me.
To no-one's surprise, I gathered nothing. All I got was the strength of my legs back. Although, if it counts, I did hear about rumors that was circling around. I wasn't really troubled by such that came to hear by a bystander, I heard their worries and concern for the queen which confused me. Questioning why would they still empathized with that wench, but then something came into my ears. Each and one of the rumors always stated that she just vanished, as if kidnapped by who knows who. Then other's that accused the sword-saint.
Their worries and concern for her, reminded me how stubbornly generous he was. His misfortune and anger never swayed his decisions, but his kindness that wishes for other's happiness more-so that he's willing for his to be put aside if it ever comes to that.
My admiration and respect grew even more, while my disdain hampered the thought of why he would do such a thing for that woman.
That was basically the story that was said to be rumored around the capital to ease the worries and doubts of the people. All whilst he felt pain, in doing so.
I can't help but groan out a bit as now I made haste towards the nearest stable to ask. My earlier assumption was to ask instead the stables found near the castle, but I'm already near one so might as well do a sweep-kind of search.
It took my entire afternoon, for results to be fruitless. Just before cutting my losses that day, there was one last stable that I hadn't yet thought-off. An Astrea owned one, at that. It didn't hurt to check; I made my inside to ask around if they saw anything strange. Well, to say I found some crucial crumbs is an overstatement. "Anything strange, hmm …"
I anticipated for an answer that at the very least make my today's search to be worth it. "If its anything strange that happened for the past month, it'll be the disappearance of a ground dragon, I was specifically asked to care off."
Confusion painted my face; I've never heard of a ground dragon personally owned by an established noble house and had no complaints. So, I asked why was the matter, the attendee didn't report any of this 'strange' occurrence. "Oh, it's because there was a letter left by someone."
"From someone?" I said, with even more confusion.
"Yes, they left a whole bag of compensation and a letter about taking a ground dragon for urgent matters that the said man didn't have any time to inquire me before." Explaining the details to her just added a growing headache to the already pain that she was looking for that woman.
"Alright, mister. Thanks for answering my questions." Deciding to cut my losses now would be a great idea for my sanity and patience that was depleting. The attendee nodded, and continued on with his work. Whilst I, went outside to find a nearest place to take a rest.
Something I feared for most of this trip was the realization that I had hit a dead end. It was going to take a while before I find something, a trace of to pick up on. But it'll be getting ahead of myself to think I'll find that said trace tomorrow.
I prepared for a long journey ahead.
—▼△▼△▼△▼—
It had been seven months counting since I last saw Nii-chan. It might not seem a lot of time for most, I had been working my back off in tracing, even a single speck of her whereabouts.
It took weeks, even a month, just to arrive in places I listed likely where she could've been. I couldn't have just asked around, saying if anyone had seen any elf around these parts. That would be silly, considering now that the Elves from that forest was freed first thing by Subaru's effort. Though I said that, I neared desperation to asked anyways. Some of these elves roamed around the continent, leading me into loads of dead-ends. And ironically, it led me back to the land where I first started this mission.
I groaned loudly, making any passer-by in the Inn I'm in, look at me with strange eyes. I sipped my drink, despite it being just plain juice.
If you asked where I was currently, it would that I was in the midst of every land that is Priestella. Having just concluded my search from the lands of Kararagi, I still found no clue. Even so far to search the cold lands that was Gusteko, where Nee-san once lived. Making me think that she hadn't left at all, Lugunica.
Stepping out of the bar stool, I headed upstairs towards my room. Closing the door, as I sat on the chair, plopping my head to the cold wood that's my table. It took me a few minutes to reluctantly pull out my map in places I already have gone.
Each and every area that I crossed off; it was so abundant that my patience quivered. I scanned left to right, the map. Seemingly suggesting that I already searched every nook and cranny of the vast lands that every continent had. I narrowed my eyes from places that mostly didn't have any crosses I made.
Conclusion that I made from that, a certain village owned by the Mather's, amongst the forest of Kremaldy.
I shivered at the thought that it'll take another week's time to get there from here. Turning my frown into a reluctant resolute, I gathered that I'm in too deep to call it off now.
I made up my mind, if I still hadn't found her after this, I'll bear the sight of Onii-chan's disappointed face, which in turn made me sad but lit up a fire once more inside me.
—▼△▼△▼△▼—
Hopping off the carriage, I paid my biddings to the person that took me here. In front of a vast forest that looked so gloomy. Trekking deeper into the forest, it was eerily silent. Following along the path, until I heard giggles of children.
Finally arriving to a clearing, houses that sparsely built around. I stopped to observe everything, then was the laughter stopped as they looked at me. One of the children ran towards somewhere while I awkwardly stood.
It took a while before an adult came out walking towards me. "Oh, are you a travelling merchant?" He asked.
"A, Ah, I was just looking for someone. Can you please take me that's in charge around here?" I asked calmy, as I looked around that the people earlier were still staring. I stared at the man in front of me to be quicker in his judgement.
"Hm," He looked at me from top to bottom before, "Sure thing, I'll take you right to her. Come with me." We both walk a path towards what seemingly looks like the middle of this village. I saw a distinct house that differs a bit from others, assuming that this is where we're headed.
The man knocked at the door, "Chief-san, someone's looking for you." I heard faint steps and the door opened as it clicked. I saw … no one behind the door, which was strange, I swear I could've heard footsteps.
"Oh, Meili-bo." Startling me, I looked down to see figure that's purely petite. Her hair ranging from shoulder to its waist, color of bright pink. I certainly did not expect for it to be this way.
I've came to believe that every clone that gathered from that war declared but the witch cultists, nothing else of their trace. It's really a surprise to have a reunion from a long-ago companion. "Eh, Ryuzu-san?" I spat out my awe.
"So, it seems," Bowing down herself, that I instinctively followed her gesture. "It has been a long-time, hasn't it? It can't be said the same for me as I lived far longer, yet I can't be help but admire that you had grown into a fine woman in these past years." Complimenting my stature, whilst my lips could only part in shock.
"I, I ah, thank you for praising me. I just need to ask about something." Noticing my gaze that held significance, she took a stance, nodding that was aimed at the man behind me. She invited me inside the house, and so I did. It was pretty dark besides the only dim light going through gaps of the window, and occasional candles.
I sat myself at a table, with hers right across me. "I see, take your time." Just before I spoke my words out, there already was a two neatly placed cup of what I presumed to be steaming tea. How did she…?
"I'm looking for certain person, uhm." Carefully choosing my words, all whilst she looked at me with stagnant eyes. I have yet to ask about what state of secrecy she must be from him, making me even more internally conflicted. "It's—"
"'Melia-san, Is it not?" Cutting off before I even had a chance to mince my words to be vague, despite that, she took it right out of my mouth. Seemingly taking the silence as its own answer, "I heard from the passing-by merchants. I deduced it must've been that, yet from the look of your face, you seem to know more than my frail-self."
Ah, right. The rumors of her disappearance, with said stories that about as if she were kidnapped away from somewhere. Then it hit me, something didn't sit right with all that happened so-far, they did decide to spin the tale of the queen taken away by someone, but to ease the common crowd's concerns, they sent out regular knights to patrol nooks and crannies of the capital like before but more apparent and nothing else. As if, they decided to make the public make up their own wrath on who to blame with a suspiciously timed rumor that it was the sword-saint himself that caused this.
Indirectly blaming every fault she's done, on the conspirator. Everyone would actively be looking out for the distinct red hair, whilst the focus was less on the elf. No one would expect a captive to be outside in daylight. Thus, his brilliance might've been the cause of my frustrations as of late—and since the beginning of the search. I was caught in a tunnel-vision, blindly reaching out for words about a certain elf, but neglecting a fact that was her accomplice.
I let out a very heavy groan with this realization this late in my search. Noticing my turmoil, "You might want to drink that tea before it gets cold." Ryuzu suggested while she finished hers in that small time that I had to think up that conclusion.
"Ah, alright." Gulping it down in one shot, it became a bit warm which reflected what I'm feeling right now. Lethargic of what became of me, I slumped down on to the table, sulking. "Right… I was indeed looking for that—her." Quickly stammered the last part as my emotions got ahead of the words that came out.
"I, really am sorry, Meili-bo dear. I have not yet heard any words from her or about her in that sense." Words that sounded disappointed, bowing down her apologies. Deepening my sulk in the process.
—▼△▼△▼△▼—
Saying my goodbyes, as the sun was slowly drifting towards into a red-hue. "Thanks for having me, Ryuzu-san." Her mouth didn't move yet curved into smile as she waved her hands.
I walked away into the deeper part of the village to look for a place so that I can take a rest for the day.
"…"
But just then, something unrecognizable passed-by me. Their faces a blur whilst they wore a hood. I made myself discreet, not wanting to make my awe-struck cease to be suspicious, I kept walking the opposite direction.
Why were that person wearing such a thing in this peaceful village?
My intuition told to me stick my nose into such, yet my morals told me that it could've been someone just wearing a cloak as their outfit, whilst the faint feeling I felt were just a hallucination from the fatigue I came to realize earlier, wanting to take that frustration on just a random person didn't seem like a good idea.
Regardless, that person was suspicious. That said intuition told an opportunity I wouldn't come across once more after this day.
I inhaled quite heavily, needless to say. I picked my intuitions choice to stick my nose in such matter.
—▼△▼△▼△▼—
The sun had finally decided to set, and the lights along the path were few. I maintained a distance away, until the unpaved road ended and I see a house lit inside. The person looked around skeptically, I have trust in my cover as I sat still. Before they went inside.
I stayed around for a few minutes, seeing no change or noises. I decided to let the day end, and come back for tomorrow. If this was a dud, I'll own up to it by cursing myself for putting my nose I shouldn't have.
—▼△▼△▼△▼—
I observed every move they made after that day, although only coming out on certain times where crowds were barely present, they really did only appear to buy produces and that's pretty much it.
I grew impatient each passing, that I thought up a plan. Forcing an encounter by making it seem like an accident, if it's not her then I'll just be able to get away saying it's my mistake, or if the chances that it's actually her, I would be stifling my laughter that I can finally end my search and go on my merry way back to Nii-chan.
Waiting for an opportunity to come by, I saw the person come outside. Though they stopped in their movement, they once more observed the surroundings more vigilant than before. Making my cover look more natural, but just then, I was raised above in the air by someone using my collar.
The person wearing the hood, now looked into my direction. I couldn't distinguish their faces but I could tell they were narrow. I became afraid having set my foot in where I shouldn't have.
I incredulously turned my head behind me, and it was then a familiar red hair that had a look of glare. By instinct, I raised my hands in surrender. Hearing footsteps, I looked back again to the hooded figure seemingly to observe me for a few until— "Meili-chan?"
"Eh?" I spat out my confusion, my mind hasn't yet processed what's going on around me. Words lodged up in my throat, I tried to speak yet no words came out, my mouth could only hang downwards.
Seeing my speechlessness, they nervously pulled down their hood. And there she was, the source of my torment for the months, nearing count of eight. "W, What are you doing here?" Voices that suggested uncertainty, dismayed that their hide-out of some sorts were found.
"I, I—" Speaking out my words but I guessed my feelings are really bubbling up as I, "Can you please put me down first, I just wanted to deliver a message I'm reluctant to give." Letting out my complaints in a blunt way.
She looked at the man that held up my collar, and put me down gently. "Thank you," I patted down my clothes back into shape, "It's Subaru-nii-chan." I said out loud the main points of my message were, I glanced back into her eyes that of horror.
Tilting my head in utter confusion, I take a neatly yet aged paper from my slinged-bag and held it just mere distance at her face, knocking her from stupor. "Oh, Oh, right." Taking the letter away from my hands, into her palms. Hesitating to pull it from the enveloped, she sighed. "Want to come inside for a while?" Offering an invitation, I couldn't honestly care anymore, just that I want to get back as soon as possible.
I agreed… out of curiosity.
Looked around the interior, seemingly like a normal aging wooden house, with some rays of the sun peeking into gaps in some edges. This is now the second time in this village that I was sitting right across the person in-question. Though this time, the red-haired once renowned sword-saint sat right beside her, holding its arms crossed below chest level.
Both looked at me with skepticism, not that I care. I was tasked to deliver a message and I have already finished that job. That said elf pulled out the envelope I just gave, timidly opened its contents. Unfolding it into a readable state, both of her hands in each edge, until one left to wipe their tears, from what I assume was the letter itself.
I wasn't nosy enough to see for myself what may he could've written in that letter, but just by seeing her reaction, I could guess what he would've written along with his personality. "I, see…" Putting down the letter stained with her own sorrows. Sliding the letter into that man's front, taking it upon himself whether if he was accounted for too in the letter. "I'm… sorry…" Wheezing out her pains, I became honestly baffled.
The red-hair hadn't teared up but alike of a bitter pain they tried to swallow.
"I, see," she repeated her earlier words, "Thank you for everything, and say my regards to him, if you want to." Accepting their fate that have been said inside that letter, I reluctantly nodded to her words, as I walked into the front door. Escorting me on the way there, I wanted to say my own regards.
"I don't what's was the words were inside that letter but I assure you, I don't really care enough to shout out loud where you have been." My words laced with bitter poison, scoffing them is easily the only thing keeping my frustrations intact.
"Okay," Words that spoke of happiness and trust that I keep true to my words, nevertheless of what my insults were.
I didn't dare to wave my goodbyes but I looked behind to see what was her face were, an elf that smiled back as she waved into my direction. Right beside her was that man that barely held any emotions at my parting.
My mind was only filled with mixed feelings, but the voice that shouted at the loudest was that my search has finally came to an end.
—▼△▼△▼△▼—
Though now, I was thinking of whether it was all worth it in the end, as I stared into the two people that I was accompanying with. Acting so chummy together, but then I remembered what was the reason I took upon that favor. It was for his happiness, and here I am seeing it now, just with her.
There was also the feeling that I was third-wheeling into this mess, I waited for a moment until we passed by less crowd to be seen, I've now enacted my masterful plan into action, as a prank of course.
While they were comfortably talking to each other, walking back into the palace, though the maid was surely enjoying it the most while him was just blabbering about. I pushed the latter into her side, tumbling down onto the ground.
"Whaa–—?" His cloak came off into the air, whilst hers stayed. Stifling my snicker at this brilliant plan, or revenge so-to-speak, making me work to my bone just to see the sight of them enjoying their selves.
The bystanders turned to look at the commotion was about, then started murmuring once they realized who that was. I shot a glance at his direction to see… a fluster?
I tried my hardest now to keep in my laughter. "Meili!" Shouting my name in a blunder caused by me.
Subaru was now in the midst of being reprimanded by a man right in front of him, a very familiar grey-haired once-merchant that was reeled into now handling the country's affairs. How did that come to be?
Only the people of that camp could know, yet they could only answer in laughter.
That said man was, although frowning, could only really be feeling of disappointment. "I knew you were up to something with that 'scheme' you told me about, but I really didn't expect you to be wandering about wearing such clothing in daylight." The clothes he referred about were an outfit unbefitting royal image, nonetheless he did understand what was his feelings were. "You do know, that really didn't have to sneak around just to have fun around these places."
"I'm really sorry that I didn't really tell you much." Clasping his hands together in a praying form, seeking forgiveness.
"Though you could've just asked me to tag-along too, but Sylphy-san?" Sighingly complained instead the wrong part of the raven-haired man's doing, "And here you go, telling me that there's nothing between you too. You're lucky her identity wasn't found out with that cloak you handed to her."
"There really is nothing between us, okay!" Denying the man's accusation, only led to an even deeper smirk from that said grey-haired.
"Alright, alright." Calming down his friend's outburst, thought whilst still retaining his irritable smug look.
—▼△▼△▼△▼—
It took a while, until they finished their meeting. Subaru saw the sun was about to set, but he still wanted to get something from his office, walking across the neatly barren hallway, now in-front of the door towards its destination.
"Subaru…" His name was called out once the door clicked open, the same maid he was with this whole afternoon that now stood-still in front of his table, as if to wait for his arrival.
Bathing from the sun's afterglow, ceasing into existence as it sunk deeper into the horizon. Until the light that now surrounded us were artificial, then born of a captivation whilst he stared at her figure.
"Uhm…" She muttered, averting her eyes away out of consciousness from his prolonged gaze, "I don't mind you staring at me like that, but it just feels strange that I can't put my finger on where I felt such a thing." Fiddling her fingers in meek, Subaru came back at once from his trance.
Subaru walked forth, now both in close distance. Their breathing exasperated. Just then, raising both of his arms, grasping hold of the pure maid's shoulders, "I'm really sorry, about earlier. Even if the person that caused it was a bit mischievous, it was still me that inconvenienced you for a long while now." Sincerely stared into her orbs that reflected ocean-blue eyes.
"Oh, Uhm. I should be the one apologizing, I—that I took advantage of you for these past months." Looking at floor while she said something so confusing, making the man that grasped against her shoulder confusedly-narrow his eyes on what she meant.
"Took… advantage?" Voice that had no bitter tones, alas of shivering none-emotion. Suppressing the urge to scoff or doubt, of a possible betrayal as an outcome, Subaru didn't like that, berating himself of thoughts that could've been biased of last wound inflicted onto him.
"I, I had fun, being with you and the others. Something I couldn't have, aimlessly wandering around looking for answers, yet unknowingly that I had already found it when I first arrived here. I felt guilty in… taking advantage of your sorrows just to be in your company, but I really wanted to see the said smile that everyone ceaselessly told me about. It's alright to hate me for this, but—I hope you understand." Sniffling whilst stammering its words, and before Subaru realize it, her arms wrapped around his own shoulders. "Subaru." Returning the gesture, releasing his hold as it morphed into a reciprocated hug.
Subaru gave a few-while to take in what she said sincerely, sighing a breath filled to the brim with relief. His thoughts wandered if it's also alright to indulge in this moment, same as her that guiltily accused herself such a thing. Is it really okay, to move on from a wound cut-deep?
Remembering the words, the purple-haired had said, and those around him. Wishing him for his own happiness to be sought-through at the end. Does he find that within the maid held that its head low burrowed into his chest?
Deprecatingly hummed, as it was a rhetorical question to begin with. Hugging her tight, as his right hand made its way atop of her golden lockes, caressing it ever so gently. No one knew between them how long has it been since the two's contact.
"Subaruuu-saamaa, are you in here?" Barging into the door, unceremoniously before opening her eyes to see the commotion, "Oh, Oh–oh." Closing the door afterwards, almost in a way banging it shut.
The encounter made the two of them aware of their actions right about now, slowly removing themselves from the entwinement, having their cheeks in crimson.
"I, I'll see you tomorrow, I g-guess?" Stammered, low hummed. Subaru stepped back for some, rubbing the back of his head for a familiar nervousness long ago. Grimaced at that thought but—
"I'll be looking forward to it, Subaru." Bending its waist, as she beamed him the brightest smiles of all, he had ever seen. Hanging agape his mouth, she hopped her way into the entrance stopping for a few moments until leaving the room—also left him staggered.
◤—–—–—–—–—–—–—◢
"So~," Snickered the petite blonde maid, whilst endlessly hitting the back of his. "What was that, hmm~?" Subaru knew that this moment would come, but still didn't manage to resist the urge in spatting out its coffee in surprise.
"I, it was nothing." He quickly tried to shot down the smug tease of hers sitting in front-across him, though it missed.
"Mhm, so that's what it is to you?" Grinning, holding her palm against her mouth, "I hope that she won't feel bad if I tell her about this kuku~."
"I, I—" Having his cheeks to be reddened so much in blush, he wanted to deny but those words never came out of his mouth.
"I'm just teasing you tsu~," One last time she hit him albeit with more force, "Don't get so worked up about it." Taking away the tray that now holds the cup Subaru just gulped down in full, walking towards the door, "I'll just ask her instead in details." Then finally closed the door in a click.
"…"
Subaru laid back his head to the comforts of his chair, as he sighed down what just happened.
—▼△▼△▼△▼—
It didn't take long for a rumor to be roused exclusively inside the palace. Especially after the mishap that just occurred recently, in which the people's majesty were found strolling around amidst them. After which, they now kept their eyes for developments that who was he with.
Though some could only speculate, others that actually known what had transpired between the run-away queen and him, though her royalty had been defunct the moment she stepped outside the palace in flee.
Those said people, have been almost every day bothering and nudging him for the known fact that he found someone to fill that void his heart bore.
The sunny blooms had started become shorter; the areas that surrounded them have begun to cool. Trees that decorated the open-air had its leaves to shed; making work of the maids that had the job of cleaning after them. Orange that tinted both the skies and paved road, swaying wind as it wooshes the leaves up above.
The year had started to close, it was time for another celebration. As per tradition that he himself looked forward to, being its creator of such gathering.
Every hallway was never barren in this time of the year, the hurried look of the servants as they prepare the dishes whilst the guests that had already made themselves comfortable wandering these hallways, as for the others laid back on the main room.
"I always liked this celebration you made-up when we arrived here," The brash now captain of the Royal Guard, was standing right beside two people, crossing the both of his arms in a confident regard.
"Same here, Natsuk—eh?" Agreeing for the thoughts that the scarred-face man had, Otto looked beside him to see the reaction of his for the upcoming celebration of New Years' time. But to be surprised in seeing instead a haggard look.
"E, Eh?" Rubbing his darken lower-eyelids, seemingly full of fatigue. "Oh, right, thanks."
The said former looked at the man's-tired look, tilting their heads in question what could've been that made him this tired. "Subaru-san, are you—have you been sleeping well lately?"
"Ah, could it be that you're worried about me?" Shaking his head, "I'm just fine, though pulled some all-nighters the past few days just so I could have time to enjoy this year's wholly." Staggering aside, as if he's about to be knocked unconscious.
Despite that, he did almost fall asleep and flop to the ground, if weren't for the said quick shoulder to have him support onto. "It's alright to take a break, you know?" Having him sat on a bench placed close to them, "We'll take it from here, I'll call you myself after everything's set."
"You sure?" Subaru hesitatingly asked but saw the nod from both, deciding that's enough for now and headed himself towards his room.
Shortly after arriving, he quickly was knocked-out asleep onto the soft comforts of the bed.
—▼△▼△▼△▼—
It was supposed to be a dreamless nap, yet there was a figure that waved from afar. He didn't like that, why would she stray away from me after so long?
Did I do something wrong?
His dream-state sought tears, that pattered across the void anywhere he looked.
It was cold.
In a world so harsh, he could hope to find warmth to distract himself from the pain it takes each step he strived on.
Whimpered his soft cries, his face burrowed onto his knees.
Until–—warmth that compasses his entire arm. Soft touch, a lingering of life that covered the entirety of his coarse palms. Of which held; roughness and scars from the thorns he took just for everyone else's happy ending.
It felt empty once that he accomplished that fact, looking for another light he could swore life to. He saw it once in that elf; he fell in love with. Yet her, nowhere to be seen now as if vanished into thin air. But the hands of whom that made him comfortable, a light, a shred of hope that could he maybe cling on to. Hope for other's wishes for his own happy ending. He knew it best that things don't just always come in first try, who was he not to take the chance, opportunity to start again.
The man that knew best, what it feels like to start from zero.
He slowly opened his eyes, to be filled in the light that shimmered as it reflects a dazzling gold. Squinting his eyes even more, revealed that it was the golden hair that scatters across the bed, whilst her hands covered his left hand.
Her face alike of melancholy, she hasn't yet noticed his department from slumber for the time being. After the gazing pierce he had for her, she finally raised her head to lock onto his eyes.
There was no bashful-look she had last time she held his hand, but its eyes instead narrowed whilst its edges were tears threatening to streak its own cheek. Subaru took his time to admire her silken-face. "Good Evening, Subaru."
Raising his back, to sit himself in the bed. "To you too, aswell." Stretching his body back into shape, he looked outside to be dimly lit. The skies had become dark as the sun almost ceases. "Is it everything prepared now?"
"Mhm," Slowly separating her grasp, standing up from the chair she moved right beside his bed, patting down her uniform as she composed herself.
Subaru followed through as his feet now hangs beside the bed, "May I ask the reason you were crying earlier?" He really didn't want to ask, blunt as it may be.
"I, I saw you writhing in your bed whilst softly sobbing that I can't help but be swayed in spur of the moment. I came here after Suwen-sama told me to come get you." Nervously raised her arm to cover its mouth.
"Haah, that damn guy. What happened to himself picking me up." He knew already what was that man's thought just by the gist of his cheekiness.
"Ah, you didn't want m-me to pick you up?" Misunderstanding what his words meant, she looked a bit gloomed.
Noticing it at once, "No, No. It's just because of that guy could sometimes be irritable." Was it because of his teasing all of these years it came to bite him back now?
He could only chuckle at such thoughts.
"Well, shall we now go then?" Hyping himself up as he energetically hopped off the bed, "You can wait for me outside the room, I'll uhm, change into something."
"Oh, Oh, sorry!" Scurried her way outside the door, while Subaru became a bit dumbfounded.
'What was she apologizing for?' He once more laughed at the scene, it was one of many recently, a genuine laughter.
—▼△▼△▼△▼—
The celebration was set, the only missing was the main host; that was the King of Lugunica.
Everyone knew about the circumstances, sympathizing for the man amongst them while they did not show it on their faces, they wholly resented the defunct Queen. Even if the man has long passed his grievances, there might've still some lingering feelings that could anger or even worse, saddening him once more.
Though their surprise was admittedly painted across their faces when he has finally arrived to the main room albeit abruptly. They really didn't want to expect to see melancholy but with the incident of her disappearance, it wouldn't be realistic to not expect that.
But instead, his face that had arrived with, was with absolute confidence. Along of clothes that shimmered of regality, his demeanor was the most unexpected. He wasn't much of a person that liked to show off, one that reluctantly wears specific clothes just for keeping-face that befits him. His choice of wardrobe that everyone saw, strangely resembles color alike of the maid beside him.
There was none-shred of the person that dwelled depressingly for the past months, but here he was, striding across the floor into the podium. His feet that suggested its excitement, as he walked. Although the moment he now stood in-front of the crowd, his face morphed into seriousness, "I'm aware that some of you had heard about what happened, I—" As if something must have struck him, his throat lodged of something but coughed to continue further, "I regret that her disappearance, was of her own decision. Albeit, I don't know what part of this world she could've been, she's in the safe hands of the Sword Saint." Even the hush whispers were none, all their eyes stared at him for the declaration of such. It was no surprise, it was the irresponsibility of such queen that for no apparent reason in the eyes of others, suddenly vanished of her voluntary.
Subaru sighed at the sight, "I didn't want to spoil the mood, but I'm alright. I don't want to end the night with our chin that hangs low, so let's make it memorable at the very least!" Loudly proclaimed, his shout that became contagious, soon others followed. Cueing for the night's celebration of the year's end.
Hanging back with his usual group of people, although he wandered around earlier talking with some other people, he still out of habit went into the group that was his trusted companions.
"Hahaha, Natsuki-sannnnn" Already drunk out of his mind, the demi-human that came along with him helped shoulder his staggering posture, though from time to time, she was also seen going along with his swaying. It still seemed like that a demi-human's keen senses effect on how it perceives the lingering alcohol in the room.
Subaru looked at the two of them while enjoying the rowdy surroundings that were, although it was since then, he wasn't that surprised to see that they ended up with each other. People that he trusted the most when it was still just us in the camp, Otto and Frederica.
He knew that they had it for both of each other, proud that he manages to catch on his tendencies to find demi-humans that were in characteristics that leaned into feline, which he jokingly laughed about it multiple times back then, and even now chuckling at the sight from the two's close contact.
Though from the sight, he was slowly getting swayed in remembering some of the past, and with the effects of alcohol had finally settling in, he was then put of his trance as a familiar maid coming close.
"Subaru-sama, why have you not eaten yet?" She asked yet seeing that her hands had a tray of plates that's enough for two to eat from, it was no doubt that Subaru would take her up in the offer.
"Thanks," They then both found themselves loitering outside the palace, into the open-air that was the balcony.
It was a quiet scene, the breeze of air that comes-by once in a while, whilst the loud noises from inside were muffled. It was alike of a familiar scene he saw once before. This feeling of Déjà vu gave him goosebumps besides the cold wind while they stood close at the ledge.
They both held their own respective food, while no words were exchanged. This scene was scarily reminiscent of an old-times that he felt apprehensive in being that starts the conversation.
"The moon always felt so lonely sitting up there yet it shines beautifully the most." Muttering her fondness of the night's glow, no-less his eyes also wandered about the same. The blue moon looked ever-so-slightly fragile, one mistake and within its grasp a mistake, it'll be gone.
Sharing the sentiments, Subaru deliberately chose his words, that same feeling of anxiety meaning a mistake would be fatal. "I, seem to think the same. It's quite bright out here." His awkward tone that made it into his words, time to time chewing his food.
"You know that's not what I meant," Giggling as a response, "You should take care of yourself too sometimes, everyone else's happiness relies upon you." Taking the plate off his hands and back again to the tray where it came from, they seemed to have idled staring at the dark-blue skies that time passed. "I'm heading back,"
Subaru wanted to say something but, "I guess it's fine." Her words lingered, his mind repeating what it meant. "Other's happiness depends on me, huh."
He stared at the glassed door of the inside for a few-while, those and each one of them enjoying themselves to the fullest. It was just a celebration he made up for this world, so far making into a tradition to be had every year, yet their eyes were filled with joy. It was his efforts and other's the reason why it became this way. It wouldn't feel the same if he was the only one saddened.
"Alright, Natsuki Subaru declares that he'll try again!" Hyping himself up as he shouted his chant. Eagerly joined the rest of the celebration with the rest, and everything went merry as the others found now his outgoing attitude than before to be endearing.
Though unsurprisingly, getting caught up in the moment, he passed-out unconsciously soon after a declared drinking duel by no other his best friend, Otto.
◤—–—–—–—–—–—–—◢
Time went fast in a blink, but Subaru couldn't care less about counting those numbers of days had passed. Yet all for the time being, he enjoyed every passing-by moment that had occurred, even more with her tagging along.
His heart felt light, as if the wounds that burdened him for so long had started to heal. He knew it was silly, but it really does feel like that. So, he became interested much more after each rendezvous, his eyes noting more and more about her defines.
Though at first, he denied it being as a sign of falling in love, just his personality that resides within himself to admire anyone by instinct. Though it was even more apparent as time goes on, sometimes berating himself for such feelings on how embarrassing it was for himself to be in love once again. He frankly thought about staying the same state until he dies but with people accompanying him at his side. It was really futile that it would end up like this instead.
Heart struck by her looks, as they went on their days in the afternoon just strolling around. Joined by the usual accomplices, it was something he didn't want to let go off. Medicine for his broken heart.
Until it became more an unmistakable turning point for his life–—
"Congrats between you too, seems like this person couldn't his hands to himself. Bothering you and all, haha!" That same loud man was laughing rather loud that the two just plugged their ears shut, in a way hiding the red tint it had.
Blushing as she spoke out her denial of—that, "E, Eh. But Subaru has been kind to me after all this time, he hasn't yet…" Her voice turned into whisper at the end, having enough of her cheeks turning bright red. "Did, that." Subaru looked at her calling its name in question.
"Hmm?" He shot her a look of impassive, "Hahahah!" Before laughing even more loud than it already was, "So, that's how it is." Patting the back of the once maid, lowering his head to reach the same height as her as he whispered his regards, "I have no worries whether you'll be like that woman leaving him out of nowhere, but treat him alright, okay?" Sylphy looked at him as if he said something so absurd, but nonetheless nodded solemnly.
"Hey, what are you two talking about?" Subaru asked both from just their discreet words passed.
"Saying my regards for the both of you, I'm content in seeing you as you are right now." Though he just tilted his head on whatever he may be referring to, he reluctantly agreed.
—▼△▼△▼△▼—
Alas, the day had finally come. Subaru stood on a podium at front of many rowed chairs, with it's middle gapped of a red carpet that leads right to him.
The voices of each people that attended drowned out his ears, while Subaru couldn't be anymore eager to see her. Though his brow flickered as the thought that it still feels weird to be seeing a supposed once-in-a-lifetime that was having a wedding.
He didn't want to degrade the moment just because he's having the thoughts that this is second time, but really the difference was that he's satisfied. Elated to achieve such a thing, that he really thought that his heart would be stricken of stone; being alone until he meets his end.
But as it turns out in the scene he's seeing right now, that doesn't even remotely seem to be the case.
"I'm proud of you Natsuki-san." His best man, reveled of a suit for the occasion, though his congratulations betray the high-leveled grin found on its face. Subaru found no time to be irritated but instead imitating the grey-haired man's beaming grin.
Then here she was, the bell ringed, the voices of one another turned into hush silence. She lied upon the carpet from the start of the lane, the light emanating behind her turned her already defined figure to be so beautiful, alike of a backdrop from a scenic character.
The very same person that he found his second chance, he wouldn't waste such a thing. Just before she walks between rows, a flower girl ran down in the middle, in a hopping form, throwing and sprinkling petals. "Hah, you really picked Louis-chan for this."
"Well, in a way, she's the reason for all of this." Subaru hummed back, as he just stared at her looking very jolly.
It was then finally the moment he was waiting for, she stridden forward with no hesitation, each step that radiated sheer confidence. Now that he though about it, from a horrifying event long ago in Priestella, it was also her second time in experiencing this though that time was with an intolerable person forcing maidens such as her to be his bride.
He became apprehensive, she might relive such as that nightmare, alike of trauma. Albeit, while he continued to stare as she nears, that thought betrays what she had shown until now.
She now stood right in front of him, while the priest cues the very start of undoubted bond. I lifted my hands, over the corners of her head that wore a veil. Raising it to reveal her pale-blonde hair that was untied, freely flowing to her waist. Eyes of oceanic-blue, the rays of the sun reflecting her tears not of sadness from said trauma, but of pure happiness.
This was no doubt the most joy they can have at that moment, coming from their second chance.
"Do you swear in the name of the Divine Dragon, to take this woman to be your wife, to live together in matrimony, to love her, to comfort her, and to keep her in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, until each other's lasting breath." As the priest asked, echoing through-out the church, Subaru of course would undoubtedly cherish her such.
"I do." Agreeing as his pledge now covers the entirety of his heart.
"Do you swear in the name of the Divine Dragon, to take this man to be your husband, to live together in matrimony, to love him, to comfort him, and to keep him in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, until each other's lasting breath." Asking the same for the other person, though compared to Subaru's instant answer, she was abated to silence.
Looking closer, her eyes twinkled more of tears. Even if his body didn't show her fears, it was still gnawing there at the back of her head. An opportune tragic memory struck up at the familiar sight yet unalike.
She wanted to shake off the foolish vision she's having, in place of his beloved was that horrible monster, the look of taunt to reel her in to unwanted fate. Shivering as her state worsens, an escapee from tragedy, the voice of that monster repeating the same words of her happiness was undeserve from the man she's look at right now.
She's going to embarrass him by having a breakdown amidst of a very special moment for all in this room. But–—
"Sylphy, are you alright?" Her mouth ajar, Subaru looked at her with worry. That monster's figure suddenly vanished as everything that surrounds her turned back into normal; her breathing still irregular, despite all of that, she found courage to smile. Remembering the moment that she was saved, and now it was her turn to reciprocate that into her affection towards his. "I'm alright, I became just too happy that I'm right in front of you right now." Her eyes tearing up still, that her voice was hoarse. The others heard it, as they started cheering.
Now looking at the priest, "I do." Answering to the pledge, Sylphy knew that it's way different now, she had fallen in love for someone out of her own volition, and they share the same sentiments.
"Well then, you may–—" Not even letting the priest finish his words, unhesitatingly grabbed ahold Subaru did Sylphy's waist into his, her mouth that now sat within his affections, the surprise wore off as she now deepened the kiss.
The cheers coming from everyone in the room became even more louder. Though reluctant, he separated the contact while his eyes stared at her dazed-look. Before she had the chance to process of what just happened, she was shook off above the ground into the air, as she was now carried into a bridal-form. His hands support both of her back and knees, whilst her eyes dazzling casted upon a gaze his chin that only looked beyond. Parading as they went outside of the church, everyone else that wasn't been able to see inside, now looking at the newly-weds.
It was a wild contrast from how he was two years ago, the people's hope of seeing their majesty's happiness didn't go for naught.
This was an end of a tale, and a start of a new one.
His second chance in another world, he's beyond delight.
EN: OOC What's that? Never heard of such a thing. Blame Dyn for the Emilia POV. Right, that's it. Thanks for Reading. See you on the next work I come up with.
PS: If you're asking about the coherency, don't bother. I can't read it too.
