Winter held her wrist up to the scanner and the door unlocked with a click. She wrapped her fingers around the handle- and hesitated.
It had been quite late when she peeled away her stuffy bedsheets after starting awake for a third time and headed towards Jacin's room. She'd first spent a few minutes in front of her mirror, hoping her thin nightgown was presentable. Then down the hall and to the left. She stared at her hand on the handle, and tensed.
Normally, she wouldn't impose herself like this. But after getting weaned off of the pain medications she was given post-op, she was no longer blessed with dreamless nights. Not that the visions had returned; the device was working fine. What kept her from sleep tonight were nightmares that had nothing to do with her sickness. And Jacin was the subject of most of them.
Perhaps part of her simply wanted to confirm that he is indeed alive and sleeping behind this door- although that didn't feel like it would be enough.
What if he didn't want to see her? Even he should be asleep at this ungodly hour. And she wasn't entirely sure if she'd be crossing a boundary. The last time she'd slipped into his room and shared his bed, they were kids. And it was a cot.
She shook her head and forced a deep breath. Surely he wouldn't mind. And if he did, she wouldn't take it personally. Cautiously, she cracked the door open and slipped inside, shutting it softly behind her.
His room was dark, illuminated faintly by a dim lamp seated on the bedside table. She could make out his sleeping form, his back to her. She waited, wondering if she should make a sound to wake him. After a few moments of her standing awkwardly, Jacin stirred. Half asleep, he turned towards her and propped himself up with an elbow.
Jacin rubbed his eyes and squinted at her in the darkness. "Winter?" She perked up at his use of her name.
"Jacin," she breathed. "Hello." She shifted slightly from foot to foot, not knowing where to look. He wasn't wearing a shirt.
He blinked at her. "Hello. What're you doing here?" His voice was heavy with sleep.
Winter smoothed down her nightgown, and looked at him directly. "Well. I've been sleeping very badly tonight, and wanting to get back to bed I thought... I thought I could come here. With you." She clasped her hands and smiled sheepishly. "Just for a little while. If that's alright with you, of course."
Jacin stared at her for a moment. She held her breath and prepared herself for his gentle rejection. Instead, he leaned towards the far side of the bed and flipped the sheets open. Relief washed over her. Winter padded over and slipped under the covers. The sheets were warm, and smelled like him. She took a deep breath and sighed softly. Turning, her eyes met his. "Thank you".
Jacin nodded blearily and sunk back onto his pillow. For a few moments, neither of them said anything. She was comforted by the noise of his steady breathing as she took in the room around her.
The room had been an empty guest chamber before he had moved in from the guards' barracks. Just like his room there, though, it was pretty bare. There was an ornate wardrobe against the far wall. A plush armchair facing a small table angled towards the narrow window that let in just enough light to illuminate one side of the room, too weak to reach them.
The bed was cozy though, with soft cotton sheets and a thick duvet. It was large, too- Jacin was more than a full arm's length away. She glanced over at him facing away from her and tried not to linger on his very broad and very bare back. Seemed like he was still half asleep. Winter adjusted the sheets around herself and closed her eyes, feeling drowsiness overtake her. She was just starting to nod off when she heard her name.
"Winter?" Jacin mumbled gruffly. His sleepy voice made her heart flutter, and she was quick to reply.
"Hmm?"
"What kept you up?" He had turned himself toward her, considerably more awake. The warm lamplight softened the angular lines of his face, giving his tired expression a dreamlike quality.
She would've much rather had dreams filled with him, with the curve of his lips and the slope of his nose and cut of his jaw and all of the rest of him, alive and whole. But her dreams had been generating quite the opposite. He blinks, and she realizes she's been staring.
"It wasn't visions," she said hurriedly; "not real ones." Automatically, she reached up and touched the base of her neck. Jacin kept his eyes on her, waiting.
Winter paused and shook her head. "Just normal nightmares, really." Winter fidgeted with the hem of her sleeve. "Mostly… mostly you. About you, I mean. You were in danger, and I didn't- I couldn't do anything about it. A princess again, with no choice but to look on." She dropped the sleeve. "Or.. or being made to do it herself." Tears pricked Winter's eyes as the memory of his throat beneath her thumbs flooded back, filling her with disgust. She quickly swiped at them before they could roll down her cheeks, and met his eyes. "But being here helps."
Jacin held her gaze for a moment, wearing an expression she couldn't quite read- guilt, maybe?- but swiftly looked away.
"I'm glad that you- that it's not the visions. I'm glad the device is… working," he said, cautiously. She had no doubts about its effectiveness, but she did not blame his uncertainty. It was hard to believe, that was for sure.
"And I understand. I have those same nightmares. About you." He looked up at her again.
Winter smiled at him ruefully. She knew it was inescapable, especially with his time as a guard, but she wished so badly that she could take his worry away. He'd been carrying the burden of it for far too long.
Jacin moved closer- they were now a short breadth apart.- and continued. "Heals with time. That's what they say, anyways. Seems like it'll be a while longer before we stop feeling like her pawns," he murmured.
Winter nodded. "You're right," she whispered. It hurt to think about. But it was only natural, with how many years they were subjected to her cruel regulation of their lives. Jacin reached out and tucked a stray curl behind her ear. She leaned into his touch, disappointed when he pulled away.
"You're always welcome here, you know," he said simply.
She giggled despite herself. "Always welcome here?" Raising her eyebrows, she mimed clutching invisible pearls. "Jacin! What a forward thing to say."
He flushed and looked away, again. "Winter. You know I didn't mean it like that."
Winter sighed, and paused to stretch, taking care not to bump into him. His eyes traced her movement- or perhaps she was imagining it.
"Of course not. You never do," she sighed, pouting. "A girl can dream, you know." Winter rolled onto her back, staring at the ceiling, and peeked at him out of the corner of her eye. Jacin had a hand over his face, probably in annoyance. Shame, she hoped to have gotten a laugh. She glanced away before she was caught staring at the definition of his arms. Or chest. Or midriff.
She was only teasing- for the most part. In the two months since they'd won their revolution, she'd been able to spend more time than she could ever hope to with him. Her ambassador duties were yet to start- Selene had more pressing matters to deal with, for now. And Winter still hadn't technically finished recovering.
They'd spent most of this time playing catch up, filling in the holes and gaps in information that were the result of living under Levana's rule. And of course, with their newfound freedom, they were allowed to be together. Forehead kisses and hand-holding were commonplace; and for that Winter was quite grateful. Her heart swelled with the knowledge that this was their new normal.
But she could not deny that she yearned for more still, that she was disappointed by Jacin's hesitance; and for that she felt guilty.
"I'm sorry," she laughed, moving to get up. "I forget myself, sometimes. Thank you Jacin, for your words- really. I think I'll be able to get back to bed now."
As she was sitting up, Jacin grabbed her wrist. Winter looked quizzically at him.
"You don't have to," he said, after a long pause. Her sitting up had blocked the light from reaching him, and she couldn't make out his expression, but she wasn't sure he was being genuine. And she didn't want to burden him.
"It's alright," she insisted. "I'll be okay." She went to get up once more, but he tightened his grasp- ever so slightly- and moved into the light again, where she could see his face clearly. His expression was soft.
"I want you to stay," he said, quietly. "Please." He swiped his thumb across the inside of her wrist, sending tingles up her spine.
It was still odd, seeing such an expression on Jacin. His cheeks were still a bit flushed, his hair was mussed, and his blue eyes searched hers, awaiting her response. His vulnerability, she'd learned, was something she quite liked. Her heart thudded.
"Well," Winter murmured, settling back down and inching closer to him. "If you insist." She reached to her right and switched off the lamp, leaving them in the darkness.
Jacin had no quip or retort to fire back with- just let out a sigh, like he'd been holding his breath. As if frustrated by their earlier distance, he reached out and pulled her against him.
Winter stifled a gasp at the sensation of being pressed against his bare chest. He was incredibly warm, and his muscles were taut beneath her fingers.
"You feel nice," she whispered.
He laughed then, albeit quietly. It reverberated from inside his chest and straight through her. "So do you."
She leaned forward and brushed a kiss below his collarbone, hoping it conveyed what she couldn't articulate. In response, Jacin took his hand off her back and caressed the back of her neck, making her shiver.
She drifted off to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, secure in his embrace.
They'd drifted apart slightly in their sleep, but only slightly.
Jacin's eyes had snapped open just before sunrise. Despite his grogginess, his body insisted on waking early. Old habits died hard, he supposed.
Winter was still beside him, sleeping on her side. Her chest rose and fell rhythmically, one of her dress straps now off of her shoulder.. A few more of her curls had slipped out of her hair wrap, and there were a few lines from the sheets imprinted onto her skin. He smiled unwittingly at that- she must be sleeping very well.
Her face was as beautiful as ever- with her long lashes and serene expression, she looked like an angel. Only she could look so breathtaking while asleep.
It was still a bit dim in the room but through the window he could see the sun peeking up over the horizon, sending shallow rays of light striping across the bed. She really did look like an angel. The glow from the rising sun shone from behind, making her look ethereal.
Jacin watched her sleeping form for a while, feeling a little incredulous. Bedrooms and daybreaks. He'd been embarrassed when he first acknowledged the fantasy- surrounded by a crowd, waiting for her to wake up- but now, living it, he was giddy with the feeling.
It was strange to love and feel so freely. To not tamp down what always bubbled to the top around her. Truthfully, Jacin never thought he'd live to see the day.
His tiredness began to bleed into his thoughts, nudging him back to sleep. There wasn't any real reason to be up so early- not without a guard post to report to. And not with Winter sleeping soundly next to him.
He moved closer, careful not to wake her, and closed his eyes again.
a/n:
edit: fixed the spacing lol
ik the fandom is pretty dead but after having read almost every TLC fic years ago i figured i'd try to do my old otp justice! so here's my first fanfic :)
i was always frustrated by how ooc they seemed in other fics... winter is usually written like a ditzy toddler and jacin stays all stiff and stoic. i really love them, so i tried to make this in-character, lmk if i succeeded! thanks for reading!
