Chapter 4 - Forward
Darkness surrounded the small bedroom and wrapped it in the stillness of the night. The peaceful quietness calmed Gine as she stared up at the blank ceiling above her, willing herself to go back to bed. There was still a few hours to rest before dawn but her mind was overactive and no matter what she did to distract herself, her thoughts were everywhere, a swirl of anxiety building.
"Why are you up?" A deep, sleepy voice grumbled next to her in bed. Bardock laid on his stomach with his head turned away from Gine, his wild hair taking up most of his pillow.
Gine glanced over to him and answered, "Did I wake you?"
"No, but I can tell when something is wrong. Your breathing was off." He stated nonchalantly and yawned before rolling over to Gine. Gine felt her breath hitch with his subtle admission that he can tell if she's worried or awake with stress just based on her breathing but Gine shouldn't be too surprised. Bardock was more in tune with things like that then most people realized.
Since the harvest ceremony, their relationship has grown even stronger in the four months they've been fully committed to each other. Although there were some challenges along the way. Bardock and Gine were reassigned to different squads which was and still is an adjustment. There was an opening on a more elite squad and its commander hand selected Bardock to join, which he was thrilled about. Gine was happy too, she's been noticing before the reassignment that Bardock was getting bored during their last missions together and he was increasingly becoming more antsy for a challenge. At first, Gine thought he was acting like this because of her but as soon as he was put on another team, his attitude completely changed.
Unfortunately since they were not on the same team anymore, their schedules had been off. The last two months they've only seen each other a handful of times. Lately, it was a rare occasion that they'd both be back on Planet Vegeta at the same time but when they were together, they took full advantage of it.
"You pay attention to my breathing?" Gine asked as she slid closer to Bardock's body, his bare chest peeking out from the covers.
"Don't make a big deal out of it." He quipped and opened an eye to look at Gine inches from his face.
Gine smiled, "I'm not."
"So what's on your mind?
"Not much, I just can't sleep."
Bardock now opened both of his tired, heavy eyes and looked Gine over. Her body seemed tense and scared. Gine hated her new team and she never slept well before a new mission, so he was expecting it to be a rough night for her. Bardock knew exactly what Gine needed from a squad and she definitely was not getting it. While Gine wasn't the strongest warrior, she had untapped potential that needed encouragement. Their old squad wasn't the most supportive team but Bardock was there to help Gine, and once they were together, he sometimes would do his best to give her confidence in her abilities. But from what it sounds like now, Gine's new team was a typical harsh Saiyan group which Gine did not thrive in. However instead of pressing the issue during the little time they had left together, Bardock sighed and muttered, "Come here."
Relaxing, Gine turned away to face the wall across from her to get comfortable to fall asleep again as Bardock slid up behind her, wrapping his strong arms tightly around her small body. He encompassed her with safety and comfort and Gine immediately felt better.
"You'll be fine. Trust your training and your instincts." Bardock whispered into Gine's ear, his low voice tickled her skin.
"I don't want to leave you."
"Well I don't want you to leave either but we don't have much of a choice." Bardock squeezed Gine's body closer and she shifted her body against his, causing an urge to build within Bardock. He was wide awake now and needed to make sure Gine knew what she'd be missing while she was gone. He landed small kisses under her earlobe but needed to go further.
Acting on this need, Bardock pressed closer to Gine's backside. Gripping her chest, his other hand grazed her stomach and pushed past the silk shorts she wore, teasing Gine with a slow descent towards her core. As his hand found its desired destination, Gine's breath quickened while Bardock found her neck, biting and sucking on her delicate skin. He continued his movements below and earned soft mews from Gine but it wasn't enough. Gine was going to be gone for weeks while he had to stay behind and wait for her to return before he went off on his own mission. He wouldn't see her again nor be with her for a while. Bardock needed to be closer to her, he needed her now. Groaning, Bardock turned Gine's shoulder towards him as he rolled on top of her, burying his head into her collarbone as his hands roughly roamed her body under him.
"Gine." He spoke her name as if it was a prayer and Gine pulled Bardock closer to her body, wanting to share this last moment with him in the dead of night before morning arrived.
The past weeks had been agonizing but Bardock tried his best to stay busy. Whether it be through training long hours or sparring with his team, Bardock did everything he could to distract himself. Finally, Gine would be coming home today and Bardock wouldn't have to worry anymore. Truthfully, Bardock hated waiting for Gine to return. He would never tell anyone but it bothered him that he had no idea how she was doing on her mission. At least when they were on the same team, Bardock knew exactly where she was and could protect her from any danger that came their way. Although, with their training lately, Gine didn't need as much help as she used to, but his desire to protect her never changed. Not knowing whether she's alive or dead filled Bardock with fury that was hard to control.
Once she was home, they'd have one night together before Bardock was shipped out the next morning and Bardock was anticipating getting Gine to scream his name before he had to leave. Besides coupling with her again, it would just be comforting to have Gine with him, he missed her immensely. Another fact he'd keep to himself.
While Gine was very open about her feelings towards him, Bardock kept them bottled up, afraid of what might happen if he exposed that vulnerability. He knew Gine loved him, he had heard her whisper it one night when she thought he was sound asleep. After she said those words and drifted off, Bardock laid awake contemplating the meaning of what she said. It was earlier in their relationship, a month after the harvest and Bardock didn't know what he should be feeling. This was all completely new to him and the internal struggle of what he should do as a Saiyan man versus what he wanted to do weighed heavily on him. So he stuffed those feelings down and hoped Gine wouldn't expect him to say anything back which she hasn't. He still didn't know what to feel but being separated from Gine lately has made his longing for her stronger. He knew he cared for her deeply, he would die for her if he needed to, and that she made him better but was that love? Bardock didn't know that answer.
Impatiently, Bardock waited in the hanger, pretending to be there to train and greet the returning warriors but he was only there for one person. Slowly, the teams' pods began to land but with every opening pod, there was still no sign of Gine. It soon became apparent that something was wrong and anger gripped Bardock as he stormed over to the squad commander.
"Hey! Gine, where is she?" Bardock hissed and tried to check his emotions so that his attachment to Gine wasn't obvious.
"She's dead." The commander answered casually.
Bardock felt his heart stop as the noise in the hanger became muffled and the only sound that stood out was a dull ringing in his ear. Dead? No. No, she can't be. Gine.
Slowly, Bardock's body vibrated with anger and in a swift motion, he clutched the commander's neck in front of him and backed him up to the table behind them before slamming his body hard on the marble. A loud crack sounded out from the impact and Bardock stood over the Saiyan's body, his grip on his throat tightening.
"Tell me where she is." Bardock snarled in a low, intimidating tone. The commander wheezed underneath him, Bardock's furious strength no match for him. Soon, other soldiers came and tried to pry Bardock off but it took ten Saiyans to separate them. Ruco pushed back against Bardock's chest as he fought against the fighters' hold and screamed, "You fucking bastard! Where is she?"
Behind the other Saiyans, the commander leaned on the broken table and coughed, "As I said, she's dead. You weren't there, Bardock. One of my soldiers witnessed it. She's gone."
Ruco struggled to contain Bardock once the commander said those words, "Let it go, Bardock. Come on, calm down."
Bardock shoved his friend's hand off his chest and glared at the commander as his obvious fury was still bubbling beneath the surface. He silently turned and headed out of the hanger, Ruco running after him.
"Bardock, what the hell was that?!" Ruco called after his friend as Bardock continued to walk away. Finally, Ruco caught up to him and stopped in front of him, "Bardock, what's wrong with you?"
"Get away from me." Bardock growled and his friend's eyes went wide.
"I didn't know Gine and you were so close-." Ruco asked since comrades falling in battle was part of their job so this reaction from Bardock was odd.
"Hey Ruco? Do me a favor and shut up." Bardock snapped and pushed past his friend, taking off the ground to fly to his home. His emotions were everywhere and he desperately needed to be alone right now. Landing in front of his small hut, Bardock charged inside and slammed the door. His breathing suddenly became ragged as his chest tightened with pain. She left him. Gine was gone and he wasn't even there to save her. She died on a foreign planet, completely alone and finally Bardock's anger finally snapped. Screaming, he threw various objects from his shelves to the wall in a blind rage, completely destroying everything in his path until he caught sight of Gine's sweater on the couch. She must have left it here the last time she was over.
He stepped over to the couch and gently grasped the soft fabric, carefully looking over the material. His breathing steadied as Bardock hesitantly brought the tan, knitted sweater to his nose. Instantly, Gine's scent overtook him as memories flashed through his mind. Gine's laughter, her wit and attitude, which he loved when she'd get angry with him. Her perseverance through their training and the way her brows furrowed when she was deep in thought trying to figure out a new technique. Their nights and days together, how her lips felt against his own and her body under his, and her taste. The way she smiled when she slept and her soft humming when she cooked. His moments with Gine became too overwhelming as Bardock slid to the ground, clutching the sweater in his hand and leaning against the couch, bringing his knees up to his chest and burying his head, completely swallowed up in grief and anger.
The next morning, Bardock stumbled into the hanger, squinting through the bright morning sunlight. Hiccuping, he staggered over to his team as they were preparing to leave. Fasha crossed her arms and frowned.
"Bardock, are you drunk right now?"
"So what if I am?" He smirked and slid his arm around Fasha chuckling. Booze swirled around his mind as Fasha scoffed, "Get off of me, you reek."
Bardock pushed off of her and swayed as he saw his second in command, Tora walk over to him.
"Oh good, you're here. I was wondering if you'd join us." Tora quipped and instantly noticed Bardock's demeanor. "Fasha, go get in your pod and tell the others we are off in ten."
Rolling her eyes, Fasha walked towards the rest of the squad and Tora stepped towards Bardock, "What the hell are you doing?"
Bardock waved off Tora with a laugh, "I'm fine. Let's go, we got a mission to do right?" He lied and punched Tora's arm and moved to walk away but Tora grabbed him.
"I don't think you're in any condition to go anywhere."
Immediately, Bardock's mood changed and he stared at Tora with dark, furious eyes, "Get your fucking hand off me."
Tora let go after a tense moment and Bardock brushed past him, hitting his shoulder hard and he shouted to the rest of the team, "Everyone better be in their damn pods or I'm leaving without you."
Crawling in his own pod, Bardock slammed the door shut and waited for takeoff. His head was spinning from his bender last night but by the time they land, he'd be fine. Maybe a slight hangover but he'd take it if it kept his mind off Gine. Bardock was out all night, trying his best to drink away his unbearable pain but she was plaguing his mind, just like she had when they broke up. Unlike then when he was able to go to her, this time there was nothing he could do. She was dead and all he had left of her was a sweater and haunting memories. Sighing, he pulled out a piece of the fabric that he ripped off her sweater and gripped it, closing his eyes for departure.
Perhaps going on a mission was just what Bardock needed to get his mind off his grief for Gine. Saiyan warriors were told to be ruthless on missions and that's exactly what Bardock planned to do.
This planet had strong power levels, more so than Bardock has seen in a while, so the chance to fight opponents that could actually do some damage was tantalizing. His team stood in front of the first group of the five inhabitant warriors and Bardock couldn't help but smile.
"We know your kind and you will not take this planet." A man called out to the squad.
Borgos chuckled, "Let's see what you say when you're dying at our feet."
The team readied themselves and Bardock stated, "I'll take them all. Right here...right now!" He charged forward to the protest of his comrades but Bardock didn't care. He'd been dying to kill someone and this was exactly what he needed.
Sending a blast towards the group, Bardock cut through the smoke and punched the first jaw that he could find, landing a brutal hook. In a successive motion, Bardock slammed his fist into the man's chest and fired an energy blast through his body. Instantly, two other warriors were on top of Bardock, one arm tightly around his neck. Screaming, he emitted energy that pushed them off of him. Before one could fall away too far, Bardock grabbed his ankle and swung the man around quickly, sending him flying through the air and into a rock, blood splattered around the stone on impact.
"Take this!" Bardock shouted and spun his leg hard into the gut of the other fighter and the man coughed in pain. Moving quickly behind warrior, Bardock wrapped his arm tightly around his throat and squeezed, slowly asphyxiating his opponent. He could have easily snapped his neck but Bardock wanted to torture him, his Saiyan brutality and fury heavily influencing his decisions.
The remaining two fighters stood ready in front of Bardock and he waved one over confidently, sure of his abilities to kill them. Screaming, the fighters both charged at Bardock and they exchanged blows, Bardock was impressed by their skill and power. Suddenly, they changed the tempo of their jabs and one landed a brutal punch to Bardock, sending him flying into a nearby mountain. The small mountain collapsed around Bardock and he was swallowed by rock and pain. Slowly, he lifted the debris and staggered out of the pile, blood dripping down his face and his arm felt numb.
Smirking, he spit some blood out and chuckled, "Oh this is going to be fun."
The two fighters charged towards him and Bardock blocked and dodged their attacks, increasing his power and speed to soon overwhelm them. Spinning, Bardock came face to face with one of the men and opened his palm, blasting the man's face with a large energy blast. The headless body collapsed to the ground and Bardock kicked the corpse away, turning to the last fighter.
"You will not take this planet, Saiyan." He muttered out of breath and Bardock cracked his knuckles.
"I don't think you'll have much of a say when you're dead."
Flying towards the last fighter, Bardock faked him out with a quick jab which the hostile defended but he didn't see the real threat, which was Bardock's fist through his chest. The man's eyes went wide as Bardock snickered, relishing the thrill of a good kill. Pulling his fist out of the last fighter, Bardock kicked the body away from him and spun, walking back towards his team while wiping the blood of his enemies off his hands.
The mission turned out to be a lot more difficult than any of the Saiyans anticipated. When they first arrived, the fighters that Bardock killed were only the beginning of the planet's defenses and it took many days and nights to fend off their attacks but finally the team decimated the entire planet. When they turned into great apes, Bardock completely gave himself over to the form, letting the hidden Saiyan power take control. He usually did not do that but he couldn't help give into the prospect, the comfort of not thinking about his grief was too good to pass up.
When he wasn't fighting, Bardock was training or on watch. He had to constantly keep himself busy or Gine would flood his thoughts. Bardock couldn't even fall asleep for a few hours without her haunting his dreams. Her ghost was everywhere and through his nightmares, Gine was so real but whenever Bardock went to reach out to her, she disappeared. It was aggravating and painful so Bardock chose not to sleep too much.
Tonight, Bardock was on the final watch of their mission, the squad would head back home tomorrow after another successful raid. Bardock was not looking forward to being back and having to wait another two weeks before he could leave. He'd rather keep heading to other planets and continuing to raid so he didn't have to be alone.
Sitting on a rock outside their camp, Bardock looked up to the peaceful evening sky and stared at the various constellations above him, absentmindedly running the small patch of Gine's sweater between his fingers.
"Hey, I can take the rest of the shift if you want. You look like you could use some rest, Bardock." Tora said next to him and Bardock continued to look above.
"I'm fine."
Silence passed between the two fighters until Tora sat on a rock next to his comrade. They weren't friends since Bardock was still new to the team but Tora trusted him on the battlefield.
"You've really taken this mission seriously. I've never seen you fight like that before."
Bardock grunted and quickly stuffed the sweater patch in his armor before stating, "I just needed to let loose a little."
Tora chuckled, "Well mission accomplished. You were brutal, which I like to see."
Another moment of silence sat between them until Tora cleared his throat, "So listen. I was in the hanger the other day when you blew up. One of your old teammates died right?"
Bardock clenched his jaw and did not respond while Tora continued, "I'm sorry. Losing a comrade is never easy. Seemed like you two were close."
Suddenly, visions of Gine and him together flashed through his mind and it took a moment for Bardock to clear them and keep somewhat calm.
"Yes." He finally whispered. Something inside Bardock felt the need to tell Tora more about their relationship. She was dead anyway so what was the harm in being truthful about how close they were. Bardock sighed and looked out to the black horizon, "We were uh..together."
"Oh...wow that's tough man. But you've got other girls in the back pocket right? Seems like you could use some of their comfort when you get back."
Bardock turned to Tora and stated, "No. It was only her."
Clearly not understanding his meaning, Tora chuckled, "Well I'm sure you've got someone else, Bardock! I mean it's not very hard for you to find a lady."
"No but I don't-." Bardock stopped himself, "I didn't want anyone else. We were committed to each other if that makes sense."
"What?"
"She was the only person I've been with in about six months give or take."
"That's really…..odd. And dumb. But hey, if it worked for you two then who am I to judge. No wonder why you've been taking all the good fights here."
Bardock nodded and returned his gaze to the darkness in front of them, trying to refocus on keeping watch.
"I've never heard of any Saiyans doing that but I know it was popular back in the old days. They talked about love and all that shit. Did you love her?"
Pain gripped Bardock's chest as he contemplated Tora's question. He knew before he lost her that his feelings for Gine were strong. It was only now after losing her that he finally realized that it was love. He loves her. Or loved. The fact that he could not tell Gine that before she died filled Bardock with a deep guilt and nothing that he did could take that regret away. Tora waited for an answer but Bardock thought he should keep his true feelings for Gine to himself. It wouldn't be fair that the first person he muttered those words to were Tora and not Gine herself.
"You can take the rest of the shift." Bardock stood and walked towards camp silently with his head down, leaving his team member alone.
A few weeks later, Bardock was training with Tora at the facility next to the landing hanger. Bardock has been hitting his training hard lately since he didn't really have much else to do. Being home was too lonely and going to the bar was fun to drown his sorrows but when other women started to flirt with Bardock, he completely shut down. He wasn't ready to move on, especially after his last conversation with Gine.
She slowly put on her armor as Bardock stared at her from his bed, drinking in her curves and body.
"Wait for me. Okay?" She turned and looked at him seriously and Bardock cocked his head.
"What?"
"While I'm away just wait for me."
"Gine, you're the only one I want. I'm not going to get with anyone else-."
"No, no I don't mean it like that. I trust you I'm just saying..I just hope you miss me. And long for me to come home."
Little did they know what would happen. But Bardock was dying for her to come back, he'd do anything but he knew that was foolish to think that death wasn't permanent. Gine was gone and he'd have to move on eventually but he couldn't. Deep down, he still hoped for a miracle no matter how stupid that was to wish.
Outside the gym, there was a commotion as soldiers ran to the landing zone outside.
"What the hell is happening?" Tora asked and Bardock shrugged as they made their way out to see what was happening.
Out on the hanger, a severely damaged pod had just landed, the steam from impact still surrounding the vessel. Around the pod, Saiyans stood memorized, confused on who this could be. There were no ongoing missions ending this early so no one knew if whoever was in the pod was friend or foe. The warriors slipped in a readied stance and Bardock waited behind the large crowd in anticipation.
The pod's door popped open and pale hands gripped the side as the person stepped out from the shadow of the pod. A body, dehydrated face met the group and slowly exited the pod. Visibly, Saiyans were shocked as gasps and whispers spread across the crowd.
The figure searched the crowd and locked eyes with the person they were looking for.
"B-Bardock."
Bardock felt like all of his air was knocked out of his body when he saw the fighter standing in front of him. His body froze for a moment before he rushed forward, pushing past the others gathered and moved to the very front of the crowd before he stopped, still in a trance.
Gine stood in front of him severely wounded and weak. This was a dream, Bardock thought. It had to be.
Weakly, she smiled when she saw Bardock in front of her and then her eyes rolled back and her body collapsed to the ground.
