Chapter 9 - Same Old Same Old

Six weeks before

Through many hours of labor and searing pain, Gine gave birth to a healthy boy. As the midwives took her son away, Gine breathed heavily, exhausted. While another midwife patted Gine's forehead with a damp cloth to cool the new mother, Peppa entered the room. Smiling, her friend greeted her with joy.

"Oh Gine! I'm so happy for you." Peppa came to Gine's side and held her sweaty hand. Gine tiredly smiled up from her birthing bed and asked the lingering question that's been on her mind.

"Did you tell Bardock? What did he say?"

Peppa frowned as she hesitated and instantly Gine knew something was wrong. Gripping her friend's hand tighter, Gine demanded, "What is it?"

"He's gone, Gine."

"W-what do you mean?" Gine stammered and questioned, searching Peppa's eyes frantically for an answer.

Sighing, Peppa continued, "Another team asked Bardock to join their squad for a mission and he left."

"But you told him right?" Gine asked, clearly not understanding the situation.

"I did but he-I'm sorry, Gine." Peppa spoke with sincerity, knowing how the news would crush Gine.

"Don't worry dear, that's just what Saiyan men do. They are all the same." The older midwife spoke as she wiped off Gine's face. Gine angrily batted the hand away from her.

Whispering, Gine said to herself, "He promised. He-oh gods. I'm such an idiot." Gine sobbed and Peppa enveloped her in a tight high, allowing Gine to cry against her shoulder.

A few moments later, a midwife approached Gine to inform her that they will be getting her ready for her son's naming and power ceremony. Peppa helped Gine out of bed and into fresh linens, mindful to be gentle with the sore new mother. Gine stood silently, staring off into space blankly, physically and now emotionally spent. This whole time Gine believed Bardock would change and that he was different. In the end, he broke his promise and shattered her heart. Gine felt like a fool for hoping Bardock would come around, and now she's been left alone by herself and a newborn.

Gine barely felt the hands on her body as she was changed into a crisp white dress, the typical attire for mothers during this ceremony. She was numb to everything and barely felt the weight of her child in her arms until the baby cried, pulling her out of her trance.

Restless below, her baby fussed and Gine gazed down at the newborn, finally able to examine his features for the first time. His hair was jet black and unruly like her own and Gine smiled slightly, nothing that he also had her nose. He was perfect and more beautiful than her wildest dreams.

A midwife guided Gine to the ceremony room with the other mothers but Gine was focused on her son, gently smoothing down his hair as she watched the newborn fall asleep in her arms. His small furry tail slipped out of the thin blanket around him and wrapped weakly around Gine's wrist. As Gine stared longer at her son, she noted that most of his features were prominently hers but Gine saw hints of his father in him. The thought of Bardock brought with it a deep pain in Gine. She struggled to maintain her composure as she stood in front of the council, waiting to announce her son to Saiyan society for the first time.

The council went through the circle of the mothers who had just given birth like Gine, asking them to present their children and testing the power levels of their newborns. Gine was finding it difficult to focus on anything but the storm inside her. Tears threatened to escape her eyes as Gine's name was called.

"Gine, step forward."

Trying her best to calm herself, Gine walked to the council, holding her son delicately as he slept in her arms.

"Present your son."

Silencing a sob, Gine stammered, "His name is Raditz." It was an impulsive choice but Gine and Bardock never discussed names and it was an idea that she tossed around, figuring she'd have time to ask Bardock before the ceremony. Now, Gine was alone and evidently she was going to raise Raditz on her own, a choice that Bardock made for her. With that, Gine took the right to name his son from him.

"And his father?" Another council member asked casually, jotting down the notes for Raditz's record. This sent Gine past a point where she could hide her despair and hot tears streamed down her cheeks as she answered quietly.

"Bardock."


Present Day

He paced all night, doing his best to calm his rage but it was no use. Bardock broke any random object he could find, throwing items against the wall or ripping them with his bare hands. He was furious and a white hot suffocating burn sat in his chest as he wrestled with his anger.

Bardock was livid but not with Gine. She had every right to leave him, but Bardock wished he had a chance to talk to her before she did this. He also didn't know what this meant for them. Were they done or did she just need space?

As the sun rose, determination sat with Bardock. He had to find Gine and talk to her, get her to understand that he still loved her and he'd make it up to her.

Hours later, Bardock leaned against the back wall of Sabi's store, hoping that he'd find Gine here. Otherwise, he had no idea where else she'd be. Bardock felt a growing uneasiness blossom within him as tried to figure out what he'd even say to Gine.

Rustling ahead of him drew his attention away from his thoughts and Bardock glanced up, catching Gine's brown eyes. His expression softened at the sight of her after all this time away. Her fit figure returned and she still was as gorgeous as ever, taking Bardock's breath away like she always did. Bardock immediately noticed the slight bags under her eyes, signaling to him that Gine hasn't been sleeping well.

Bardcok saw Gine stiffen for a moment before she took a deep breath, walking towards him with her latest catch for Sabi's store over her shoulder. Desperate, Bardock took a step as Gine approached him but before he could speak, Gine interjected.

"So you're home?" She said with a flat tone.

"Gine, I-."

"Can you move? I need to put this inside." Gine asked impatiently and Bardock silently stepped to the side, allowing Gine to open the back door and she closed it with a slam, leaving Bardock reeling in confusion. Before he thought further, Gine reappeared and closed the old steel door behind her, brushing off her hands casually. A beat passed and she stared at Bardock, displaying an expression that he couldn't interpret.

Taking a breath, Bardock began again, "Gine, I'm sorry. I'm going to try to make things up to you."

"I've heard that before." Gine responded bitterly and crossed her arms.

"You can trust me."

"Can I?"

Bardock did not have an answer for that, "I know that my word isn't good to you right now but I swear, I'll do my best."

Silence passed between before Gine spoke up, "Why? Why didn't you stay? I wasn't asking for much."

"I don't know, Gine."

Gine scoffed, "That's the whole problem. How can I be with you much less raise a kid with you if you refuse to be honest?"

Frustrated, Bardcok bit back, "I am being honest."

"No, you're not! At least admit that you never wanted to do this. That's why you ran away like a coward."

"I don't know why I ran but I'm trying to make things right-."

"You don't-you know what, I can't stand here and feel like even more of an idiot." Gine moved to go back into the store and Bardock moved faster than Gine could see, stopping her from opening the door. He held his arms out from behind Gine on either side. Gine breathed heavily, her senses buzzing with how close his body was to her own.

"Don't. Gine, please." He whispered into her ear and Gine was close to breaking her resolve, so close to capturing her lips with his. His scent, the one she missed so much, along with his body inches from her sent shivers across Gine's body.

"Why?" Gine asked Bardock again, pain in her tone as she waited for him to tell her the truth.

"I'm sorry." Bardock apologized quietly and breathed in Gine's scent as well. It was different but familiar at the same time and Bardock was so close to pushing her up against this wall and showing Gine how sorry he was. Automatically, his tail uncurled from his waist and intertwined with Gine's.

Gine's willpower was fading but he still hadn't answered her. Bardock gently ran a hand up her arm, sending pleasure and comfort to Gine. She wanted him so desperately but she had to be strong. Gine had to know why he left and it was eating away at her. Finally, she turned towards Bardock, and pressed her back into the cold steel door as Bardock inched closer to her.

"Please just tell me, why did you leave us?"

Bardock grimaced, "I don't know."

Gine snapped, "Stop lying!" Her expression was hard and more angrier than Bardock had ever seen her as she continued, "You ran because you didn't want to be a father and it was an easy out for you."

"That's not it-."

"Bullshit!" Gine countered, "Why can't you just tell me!"

"I was afraid, Gine!" Bardock shouted loudly and silence dropped between the couple as Bardock's admission sat with them. Bardock's chest heaved from anger and most of all shame as Gine glared at him.

"This whole time, I was afraid of what a kid would do to my career, my ambitions, us." Bardock waved a hand between the two as he continued, "But more importantly, I was scared I would mess the kid up or they'd go on a mission and never come back. That terrified me and truthfully, I don't think I could go through that. I didn't want a kid because I didn't want that vulnerability. I panicked."

"You don't think I was afraid too? Bardock, I was scared of everything the whole time I was pregnant. I had and still have the same worries and if you just trusted me with your feelings, we could have figured this out. Instead, you broke your promise and my heart because you refused to be honest. Even after all this time, you still won't let me in. How can I be with someone like that?" Gine whispered harshly.

Her words felt like a sharp sword through his heart but deep down, Bardock knew Gine was right. He should have talked to her about this sooner but for some reason, he didn't.

"I know I hurt you and I'll do anything I can to make it up to you. I love you, just come home and we can fix this." Bardock stared down at her.

"We can't." Gine blurted and her statement was met with Bardock's wide eyes, hurt clear in his face.

"Gine." Bardock whispered half broken, his voice low and filled with pain.

Gine breathed and locked eyes with Bardock, barring a solemn expression, "I didn't move out because I needed space. I left because….I'm done. I-I can't do this anymore. It's not fair to the baby or for me. I can't be with you if you're not going to be fully committed to us and be honest with me."

Bardock stared at Gine, grasping the finality of her words. She sounded tired and serious, clearly she made up her mind a while ago. An ache grew in Bardock and he felt more powerless than he's ever felt in his life. Naturally, this pain turned into anger.

"So you were just going to end this without saying anything to me first?" Bardock hissed angrily and Gine stared at Bardock confidently.

"You ended this the moment you got on that pod."

Bardock felt numb with fury at Gine's words. Anger at himself for blowing the best thing he's ever had with the one person he's ever loved.

Refusing to speak further before she became more upset, Gine answered shakily, " I-I've got to go." Gine turned around to the steel door, grabbing the handle but stopped at Bardock's desperate plea. Bardock never begged for anything but now he's practically on his knees.

"Gine, don't..don't do this. Please." His voice was quiet and almost small, completely different from his usual strong and confident tone. Bardock met her eyes, the torture evident.

Gine faltered for a moment, completely broken. "I can't anymore. We're done."

Right before she slipped through the door, Bardock mumbled a question, his pain and curiosity clear.

"At least tell me his name."

Gine knew he was referring to their son, the child he's never met and at this point, Gine didn't know if he'd ever meet. Sighing, Gine answered over her shoulder sadly.

"Raditz."


Later, Gine fumbled through the front door of her new house, struggling with the bag of food in one hand and Raditz in the crook of her arm. Motherhood was more difficult than Gine anticipated but it was the greatest job she's ever had.

Although she was alone with Raditz and wished for help, she's come to terms with it just being them. Initially, when Gine decided she had to get out of the home she shared with Bardock, she looked at a few small apartments. Finally, after a search, she found this home outside the city in a growing village. It had a big backyard for Raditz and space for Gine to start her new chapter. It was terrifying to start anew but Gine was determined to take care of Raditz and do what's best for the both of them.

After feeding Raditz and putting him down for the night, Gine cleaned up and got herself ready for bed. Laying there in the cold darkness, that's when her mind usually wandered to Bardock. In the first days of Raditz being home, Gine would constantly think of Bardock. His memory would pop up randomly but especially when she looked into her son's eyes, which mirrored his father's. Sometimes when Raditz was extra fussy, Gine tried to calm her son down by telling him stories of his father. From his great battles to his little quirks, it was a time for Gine to think about the man who broke her heart but whom she still loved.

Seeing him again after so many weeks was difficult and trudged up all the emotions that Gine tried to move past. Bardock looked different and he appeared more powerful than he did before. Gine guessed that it must have been a challenging mission and although she still was so hurt and angry with him, Gine did want the best for Bardock and she was grateful he came home unscathed.

Having to finally have the conversation that Gine was dreading broke her. Seeing Bardock's expression seized her heart and made Gine want to take back her words. Now, looking up at the ceiling, feeling the emptiness of the bed next to her, Gine released it all. The floodgates opened and more than anything, she needed Bardock to comfort her. He should be there with her but he couldn't give Gine what she needed.

Four months later

The burn of alcohol was the only thing that made Bardock feel anything these days. For months, his days consisted of training or drinking. When he was on a mission, he was ruthless, taking out all his anger and self loathing on his enemy. On raids, he was so blinded by his fury that Bardock didn't think as clearly as he once had. Instead, he was impulsive and reckless, and had a few close calls. Frankly, Bardock didn't care if he died on some distant planet or drank himself to death. His self destructive tendencies were the only thing he could do to make him feel alive.

It's been months without Gine and the loneliness was crippling Bardock. He still has yet to even meet his son and that fact angered Bardock. A quiet rage sat within Bardock as he thought about Raditz. Gine refused to let Bardock anywhere near their son and this enraged Bardock more than anything. He had nothing besides his squad and he didn't understand why Gine would not let him see Raditz. Although Bardock messed up, he still had the right to at least meet his kid.

He had only spoken to Gine a handful of times in the last few months and he's barely seen her. Bardock stopped seeking her out a month ago, understanding that she wanted nothing to do with him and the prospect of her rejection would hurt him all over again.

"Hey big boy, want to go for a spin?" A blue hand on his wrist caught Bardock's attention and he broke his gaze from his glass to a blue female, staring at him with seductive eyes. She wore next to nothing and Bardock's eyes wandered across her body, lust in the forefront of his mind. Her hand skimmed Bardock's thick black beard, a feature he added out of pure laziness. Smirking, Bardock grabbed his cigarette from the tray below and inhaled the smoke, blowing it out from the side of his mouth. Smoking was a new habit he picked up and he knew it was terrible for his body but again, Bardock didn't care.

"If he doesn't, I will." Fasha called across the table, staring at the woman like she was a piece of meat. The alien winked at Fasha and refocused on Bardock.

The squad took a detour to grab a drink at one of the many bars on their way to their next mission. They've been gone from home for two weeks and Bardock was taking every opportunity he could to kill or drink. Anything to get his personal life off his mind.

"Oh gods." Tora gasped out next to Bardock and he glanced over to see another alien woman whispering into Tora's ear. Within seconds, Tora hastily stood and grabbed the female's hand, quickly going off to a nearby restroom.

"So?" The curvy blue alien asked Bardock again and he grimaced. He needed some release and these days he'd do anything to get his mind off Gine. In some sick sense, he also wanted to do this to hurt her, hoping she'd find out and be crushed by the news.

Chugging his drink, Bardock hissed through the burn, "Fuck it." He slammed his glass on the steel table and put out his cigarette.

The blue alien grinned as Fasha whooped at Bardock's decision, cheering her commander on as the pair stood and walked away from the group.

It was quick and somewhat pleasurable as Bardock only focused on his own need, rutting hard behind the woman in the tight bathroom stall. The whole time, as much as he hated it, he thought of Gine. Bardock imagined it was Gine he was with instead of some stranger and that spurred him on, chasing his high. It's been months since he's been with Gine and all the memories of their intimate moments replayed in Bardock's mind. Their bodies, Gine's scent and her cries of his name. Remembering every detail of Gine sent Bardock over the edge.

Gasping, Bardock stood for a moment behind the stranger. After a moment, he gathered his things quickly, a wave of guilt threatening to drown him as he pushed out of the stall.

"She must have been something." The alien called from behind him and Bardock spun, growling at her.

"What did you say?" He hissed and she grinned, skimming down her skirt.

"I can always tell when someone's thinking about someone else. She must have done a number on ya."

Bardock narrowed his eyes before he stormed out of the small bathroom, slamming the door behind him. Gine was everywhere and he needed a stiff drink or something to punch to get her off his mind.


"Where is he?" Gine demanded as she stormed down the hallway. Immediately, Tora and Fasha rushed up to her, trying to calm her down.

"Gine-." Fasha began but Gine snapped.

"No, I don't want to hear it, Fasha. He's been out of control for the last four months and none of you have done anything to stop him!"

"It's not that simple, Gine. You know how he is." Tora answered in a semi-calm voice.

"You're his friends, his teammates! Someone has to tell him this needs to stop or he'll get killed." Gine responded, her tone a mix of worry and anger.

"And you care because?" Fasha muttered bitterly and Gine turned on her, stepping forward to fight but Tora slid in between the two, motioning to Fasha to leave. Once it was just Tora and Gine, he gently placed a hand on Gine's shoulder.

"I know you're worried about Bardock. I am too but he's not listening to anyone, let alone me."

"What happened this time?"

Sighing, Tora replied, "We changed and he took on half of the planet's forces by himself. They had a laser that sliced his chest open. Thankfully, they were too stupid to go for his tail. The doctor says that he got lucky this time though. If the slash went one inch to the left it would be a different story. But they don't know when he'll wake up. He's out of the healing chamber."

Gine breathed shakily and ran a hand through her hair. Tora continued, "I'll keep trying, Gine."

"I'm going to stay here. At least until he wakes up." Gine met Tora's shocked look with conviction.

"I'm not sure-."

"Tora, I don't care. Look, I know he's hurting and I caused that but this is killing me too. I can't keep doing this. How many times have you and I done this over the last four months? Well, maybe if I speak to Bardock myself, hopefully I'll knock some sense into him."

Tora sighed and nodded, "Alright. But Gine, he's not who he was. I just want to warn you. He's…well he's hurting."

"I know." Gine whispered and Tora nodded, allowing her to enter the doors behind him. Gine walked through the medical bay room where injured warriors healed if the healing chambers didn't do their jobs. It was rare but it happened nonetheless. Oddly enough, it was empty besides the one bed occupied by Bardock.

Stepping slowly, Gine approached Bardock's bed. Over the last few months, Bardock has been completely adrift. Tora has told Gine that Bardock took insane risks and clearly, he pays for it everytime. Gine has even seen him drunk on a few occasions but Bardock probably doesn't even remember running into her. All these instances have hurt Gine more than she'd tell Tora or her friends. She hated seeing Bardock hurting but what she loathed more was his clear disregard for his life or himself.

Standing by his bedside and seeing his sleeping body, Gine stifled a sob. She felt guilty knowing that Bardock was in such pain from her actions that he was doing this to himself. She scanned his body, taking in Bardock's unconscious form. His chest was littered with new scars, notably the new one he received across his chest, from the top of left shoulder to his sternum. The wound was healed but a dark red scar now, a reminder of a close call. Gine watched with relief as she saw his chest rise and fall, signaling that Bardock was alive.

Gine moved her eyes up to his face, noting Bardock's thick beard. His eyes looked red and tired and but he appeared peaceful in sleep. Instinctively, Gine leaned forward and she moved her hand cup his cheek, stroking his skin with her thumb.

"What are you doing to yourself?" She whispered painfully.

Hours passed and Bardock groaned, slowly regaining consciousness. His body felt heavy as he slowly blinked open his eyes. Disoriented, he glanced around and his eyes locked with a pair he didn't expect to see.

"Gine?" His voice croaked in disbelief, his throat dry.

She was standing next to his bed, staring down at him. Bardock shifted, moving to sit at the edge of the bed.

"What happened?" He asked in a raspy voice, his gaze locked on Gine. It's been so long since he's seen her and her presence was calming to Bardock.

"You were almost killed. Again." She responded with sharpness.

Bardock frowned and shifted. Peering down, Bardock noticed his most recent scar across his chest, noting the dark red color. He was confused that Gine even knew about his recent close calls. Yes, he's had a few but he's been fine so far so Bardock didn't see the problem.

"It happens. I don't see the issue." He responded casually.

"You're being reckless, Bardock."

"Why do you care?" He replied bitterly, stretching out his arm. His body already felt better and Bardock was ready to get back to training and maybe even stopping at the bar.

"Because if you keep doing this, you will be killed."

Bardock clenched his jaw, already sick of this conversation. He planted his feet on the ground and stood up from the bed, much to Gine's protest. His head rushed but he was determined to get out of bed and once it passed he stepped forward, now glaring at Gine.

"If you just came here to yell at me, you can leave now."

Gine's eyes went wide for a moment before she flared her nostrils in anger and stood her ground, "You're out of control."

"I've already gotten this speech from Tora and I didn't care then and I definitely don't care now. Especially coming from you." Bardock hissed and brushed past Gine, going for his torn up armor thrown over the end of his cot.

"Why are you doing this? This isn't you!" Gine questioned and raised her voice a little.

"No, but this is who I am now. If you don't like it you're free to go anytime, Gine. Leaving is what you do, right?"

"Bardock, I'm not the one to blame here. You did this."

"You don't think I know that!" Bardock screamed, and whirled towards Gine, his temper snapping, "Why are you so fucking concerned with what I do all of the sudden."

"Because I still love you and I can't keep seeing you like this anymore." Gine admitted and silence hung between them.

Bardock wanted to believe what Gine said and deep down he did but he was angry and wanted to lash out at anything. Narrowing his eyes, he stepped closer to Gine, "If you loved me than you would have never left."

His words crushed Gine and she raised her voice, "I've been worried sick about you for months. Do you even remember coming to my home drunk multiple times over the last few weeks? Tora was the one who told me how stupid you were being on your raids. I've been here every time you've come back on the verge of death. So I'm here to knock some sense into you before you get killed."

"Well I don't give a shit what you think anymore, Gine. I don't need you telling me how to live my life." He snapped.

Hurt but exhausted from arguing with him, Gine huffed, "Fine. If you don't want to change for yourself then at least do it for our son."

"A son I haven't even met because you've kept him away from me!" Bardock shouted, stepping closer to her.

"Look at yourself! Why the hell would I let you anywhere near Raditz?"

"Because I'm his father, Gine!" Bardock yelled, his voice booming and his chest heaved with unbridled fury.

"Yes, you're his father. I don't know why you have a sudden interest in your son, but I have to protect him. I can't have Raditz follow you down your destructive spiral. But Bardock, if you continue on this self pity parade, you'll never meet Raditz, I promise you. I'll do everything in my power to make sure that will never happen."

Bardock's anger reached a new height as he growled. He grabbed Gine's arm and seethed, "You can't do that. He is my son."

Rage and her motherly protective instinct controlled Gine. She ribbed Bardock's grip from her arm and glared at Bardock, "Test me. I dare you."

Turning, Gine stormed off, calling over her shoulder with cutting fury, "Grow up and get your shit together." The doors slammed with her exit, leaving Bardock reeling from her threat.

Gine seemed different to him, more confident in herself and she had more fire than she ever had before. Bardock rubbed his newly scarred chest, feeling the full weight of Gine's words and her threat.

Plopping down on the cot mattress, Bardock hung his head in his hands, doing his best to keep his emotions at bay but it was useless as hot angry tears streamed down his face.