(in which we get smacked aside by floating decorations)
(it is still REIMU'S PERSPECTIVE, for this moment…!)
Brad and that fairy follow me down the corridors. It's not long before I locate the hatch to the cellar where they hold Flandre and her things…
Surprisingly, it's not blown up. Kneeling down, I move my hand to swing it open…
Wait.
I rattle the door.
It's locked. "...Why is it locked?"
Brad snorts. "Locked? How, yo, how."
"That's what I want to know…" Seriously.
Moving up beside me, Brad reaches into that bag of madness he carries around. "Step aside, yo. I'm gonna wreck it!"
...I mean, I could too, but I think I'll just let him help. He probably won't get it open anyway.
He begins unfurling that hammer… hanger… thing. I don't know what to call it. There's a flower at the bottom now, though it looks a little less than natural.
"Alright, yo…!" His body language changes, and he moves as if he's stronger. Taking the hanger like a ram, he runs at the angled cellar door.
Bam!
The metal bends, a dent forming, but he doesn't break the door.
"Holy frik…" He chuckles. "Cheap iron's the worst iron, yo…"
Unfortunately, we're not left alone for long.
I spot fluffles inside of large, decorated red pots floating at us. The pots are embroidered with yellow flame designs.
Turning to Brad and that-one-fairy, I speak. "We have company."
Brad looks up at them, and his eyes widen. He begins slowly backing away behind- okay…
"What's your name?" I ask her. I refuse to call her Ha-chan.
"Hana!" She smiles widely.
Hana, then.
Brad backs behind Hana, incredulously staring at the floating pot things. "Hey, uh, Reimu… I think we should go...!"
What? "They can't be worse than anything I've already faced." Those lancers from earlier were far worse. A good whack should break those pot things.
The two fluffles seemed to build magic, floating towards me increasingly fast as they began glowing.
I begin floating up and away-
"Reimu! Float up!" Brad shouted, as he ran back cautiously.
-...to avoid whatever they intended to do.
The tops of the pots clamp down on them-
Fwoom! Fwoom!
Surges of flames surge outward in a wide radius. The wall nearby is burnt, the wave of flames cutting through the wall like a blade. Then, the incision begins burning…
Brad quickly fumbles for his Hydro-whatever he called it. The water hanger. "Yo~, no! Not lettin' that shit happen again!"
He turns a valve clumsily with the hand holding part of the hammer's shaft, and a torrent of water shoots out. He aims at the building flames on the wall, and begins dousing it…
The two fluffles get their heads clamped down again by the pot tops. Their forms flare for a moment, some sort of fire magic being cast, but I don't know what, yet…
Brandishing my ofuda, I'm aiming for them to not be able to cast anything at all.
It was already too late, though. Behind me, small orbs of fire began forming close to me, and popping into blasts of heat immediately after.
Flying faster, I soar past the pot-riding fluffles in order to avoid the rapidly generating orbs. In response, they begin forming closer, and faster.
Fwoom. One of them explodes on my leg, and I close my eyes for a moment. "Hh…" I hiss, but I'll have to trust that I'm not burning, for now. These things don't use danmaku, it seems…
The line of exploding orbs still trails my heels as I turn, hoping no more get a cheap shot on me. As I turn, I note the quick form of one of the potted fluffles, coming in for a quick bash attack. Veering to the side, I whack the broad flank of the pot-
Clack! The loud strike emanates across the hallway.
I rebound off the wall, using the impact to steady myself again, even if it hurt.
The other pot floats towards me. It flashes amber again, casting another fire spell that doesn't have immediate effects.
"I got you!" Hana runs up beneath the three of us, hands at her sides. "I-I'm really scared, but I've been practicing!"
She's going to die. Fairies never were that great at detecting danger.
Fwoom. A huge, person-sized red orb generates a good ten feet away from me.
"Here!" She held up her hand. A small stream of cyan electricity shot towards the ceiling.
Moments later, it zapped the crimson pot fluffle before me, doing seemingly nothing.
"...Daww…" She pouted.
Fwoom. Another huge, red orb appeared. They had prism-esque designs amidst them-
"Guh!?" I got bashed in the back by that one other pot thing. It's really eager to melee me, for some reason…
Turning around, I smack it-
Thwack!
The fluffle is knocked from the pot. Devoid of a rider, the pot falls to the floor.
Cra~ck!
It explodes into flames on impact. Brad, who was finishing up with the wall, jumped back. "Oh, shit! Freakin', Super Mario Sunshine up in here!"
After his nonsensical statement, he pointed the water hanger's jet at the new inferno on the floor…
Fwoom. A third fire orb formed around me. These three, bright orbs slowly rotated, hanging in the air in a menacing circle around me…
This is bad. I'm too high up.
The hair on the back of my neck stands up as I plummet downwards. Even so, the orbs keep a consistent ring around me.
The pot swings its broad base at me, trying to melee me as well, but it simply misses entirely as I descend.
I can't believe those orbs didn't attack immediately. My adrenaline pumps as I fly back up, attempting to avoid them.
They cease to follow me midway up the hallway, and gravitate towards my previous, lower altitude…
BOOM
Ow. My ears.
Hana opens her mouth to scream, but I can't really hear it.
Brad drops his hammer hanger, jaw dropping and eyes wide. Then, he scrambles to continue dousing the fire…
Again, the pot thing floats at me for a melee attack. I decide to let it come straight for me, just so I can-
Thwack!
"Hugh!"
After de-fluffing the pot, the wind is taken out of me as the pot itself strikes my stomach. From there, I spiral to the floor…
Thud. "Ghn…"
The pot falls next to me.
Cra~ck!
I-I forgot they explode into flames!
Rolling to the side, I find myself against the wall, the flames generating just before me.
Not good, not good, not good…!
I scramble back on my rear, using my limbs to quickly propel myself away from the flames. My skirt lights…
"Brad!" Water magic! Need it now!
He turns to me, and notices my situation. "Reim- oh, shit!"
Running up to me, he- Aah! Co-cold…!
Water forcefully treats my clothes and my skin, the hanger's torrent soaking me. My skirt is saved, however.
Then, he turns his attention to the fire. "It's a fucking inferno now… I, uh, think this place is gonna burn down again!"
Again? Well, anyway…
Taking a deep breath, I float a bit, just to get into a standing position, again. From there, I run up to him.
"Woah!" He didn't notice my recovery. I take this moment to steal the hanger from his hands, and go to work on the fire myself.
...He grins. "I mean, if you wanna do it for me, yo…"
"How do you work this?" I ask him. Do you just pour mana into it? I'll do that first.
"We~ll, there's this va-"
FWOOSH
After pouring mana into it, the hanger's torrent becomes a blast, the wide spray of water filling the entire length of the hallway…!
Wow! I cut my mana immediately.
...The damage is already done, all of the hallway's immediate furniture drenched. The place won't burn down now, though.
...Brad's jaw is open, as I hand the hanger back to him, turning the valve until it's off.
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: BRAD'S PERSPECTIVE ====
Did she seriously just limit break that hanger better than I coulda ever used it in like, ten seconds!?
She steps up to the now soaked, dented cellar door, her arms folded. "C'mon. More are probably around."
I'm pretty worried that we got Crimson Jazz fluffles all up in this place. If Remilia had stone halls, this crap wouldn't happen!
I now have a feeling that Reimu could easily break this cellar door on her own, and is just letting me work it to be nice. I mean… I don't mind, but yo.
...Now that those freakin' fluffmeisters are out of the way, now I can get to the good bit…!
Putting away Deep Blue, I start bashing the cellar door with Tundra Bloomer!
Bam!
This freakin' cheap iron, yo.
"Did you feel something… weird, just now?" Reimu stared at me, an eyebrow raised.
Hmm? "Not at all, yo. Why's that?"
"...No reason." Reimu totally had a reason, but I'm not gonna find out.
Bam!
I just realized that this door will probably need to be replaced, now. Among other things, probably, but I'm just now realizin' this…!
Bam!
I broke a hole in the door before I managed to knock it loose. What the frik!?
Reimu sighed. "Look, just…"
I stepped aside.
She promptly summoned a classic Yin-Yang orb, which bowled into the door.
Bam!
...The door was instantly annihilated.
"Come on." Reimu was determined to continue forward and get stuff done. She was the first down into the cellar.
...Ha-chan nudged me. I looked over to her- hoho, yo. She's close and cuddly. "Isn't Reimu so cool…?"
...Ye, ye, ye. I nod.
Ha-chan beams.
"Come on!" Reimu yelled for us from the cellar.
"Alright, yo, alright…" I follow her down, Ha-chan nearly freakin' bowling me over because she tried to walk along with me down the narrow stairway. Freakin'...
We eventually get to the hallway. I'm about to check the Escape Plan on how to get through, but Reimu picks a direction and flies, so I follow her.
Flandre's room is before us, the door hanging off its hinge, and a hole in the concrete ceiling above it.
There's a barrel to the right, and it wasn't there before…
Reimu continues towards the room. "...So that's the way she went."
You know, if she can just float through concrete… how do walls concern her at all!? Like, what's the point in locking her in anything? Unless it's the interior, but the door's broken! I'm confused.
Ha-chan stops before the barrel. "Someone left us swords!"
Reimu and I both turn towards the barrel…
Wait… she's right. There's cutlasses in there. I thought those were freakin' umbrellas.
Ha-chan reaches in-
"O~i! Oi!" A fairy maid pops out!
"Aah!?" Ha-chan steps back, alarmed! It's a spookapalooza!
The fairy maid had beige hair, and an eyepatch. Looking around at us, she eventually focused on me. Trying to climb from the barrel, she awkwardly worked around the cutlasses… "It-it's you!"
...I blink. "Hello, friend."
...Eventually, she tips the barrel over. "A-aah!"
Clunk!
The cutlasses pour out with her…
"Rose-chan…" Ha-chan mutters.
Rose-chan, huh. She doesn't look like a plant elemental fairy…
She stands up abruptly, before grinning at me. "Ya used to be the talk of the manor like, a week ago!"
A week ago? My popularity has faded, yo.
"Yeah!" She confidently nods. "I hid down here when everyone was repairin' the fire damage! Kinda work ain't cut out for a hero like me, ya dig?"
...I turn to Ha-chan. "She a hero?"
Ha-chan nods. "Yeah! She always goes down to check on Flandre!"
Oo~h! I salute her. "You make your mansion proud, soldier."
She nods enthusiastically. "Darn tootin', lad!"
...I turn to the left, only to see Reimu's just broken from us to enter Flandre's room.
Rose-chan comments on her presence, with a hushed whisper to us. "That miko here for the Flan-lass?"
I nod. "Yeah, yo. You see her take off?"
She shook her head. "I went down here 'cause I knew she wouldn't be here!"
What a hero!
"That, and those damned lance slingers…" Rose-chan shook her head. "Whole blasted lot of 'em laid the fairy platoon ta waste, y'see."
Lance slingers? ...What kinda funky slur is that!?
"Brad! Hana!" Reimu yells out to us, suddenly and with alarm. Enough to make me freakin' jump.
I quickly hurry into the room, Ha-chan lagging behind me.
Reimu's standing over Flandre's bed. Oh, boy! I wonder if she found out that Flandre has a secret porn stash!
I move over to the bed hurriedly…
Koishi's- Jesus, fuck…!
Her form blinks in and out on the bed. After I see her, the room's details flicker like someone set the graphics setting to DirectX negative two, and then set the texture detail to 'Toaster-Low'.
She's lying on Flandre's five polygon bed, eyes squinted and teary as he gritted her teeth, clutching her stomach…
Ho~ly shit that's a lot of bloo- oh, nevermind. All the blood suddenly van- o~h that's even more blood! Whatever Koishi does, it's making my eyes tell fibs…!
My presence is noted by her. "Br-Brad, Ha-chan…"
Reimu glances at us, concern on her face, before looking back at Koishi. She begins examining Koishi's body, which seems about as useful as rubbing your eyes with sharp objects at the moment, considering everything looks like a bad N64 game right now.
Leaning over the bed and looking, I notice red, bloody holes in her stomach...
So~ that's why Flandre lost it. Koishi must've gotten shot earlier…
Uh oh.
Reimu's expression was hard. "I'm not a good healer. Get Sanae, find some potions, do something." With that, she holds a hand over the wound of Koishi's a soft, yellow glow blooming outward over it.
Yeah, that'd be good…
…
She glares at me. "That means you! Hurry!"
Oh, shit!
I move to the door, Ha-chan standing in the way.
"Hi." She casually greets me as I try to nudge her outta the way…
...After a moment of casual and perhaps playful nudging, I blurt out words. "Koishi got shot in the ass!" I inform her!
"Oh, no!" Ha-chan steps back, lookin' concerned! "Will it get better!?"
I shake my head. "Gonna have to cut it off, yo. Assless for the rest of her days!" As I step outta the room, my appearance goes from blocky to normal again. The outside of the room's not like a bad ROM corruption, it seems.
Rose-chan jerks her head back. "Assless!? Aw, damn…"
"We gotta find her a potion, or an elixir, yo." I inform them. "Or she will die from asslessness." Or blood loss!
...Isn't she a youkai? Then again, she had multiple bullet holes. I'll go fetch an adult, anyway. Or bring Koishi hard drugs. Does this mansion have an infirmary?
"You'd best be countin' on me to fix this problem right up!" Rose-chan pumps a thumb to her mediocre bust. "I come strapped with six pistols and a dagger!"
Six pistols!? "Yo, I need one of those! The pistols!"
...She blinks. "...I mean, my flintlocks were confiscated last time I tried to do anything wit' 'em… but I did once have six pistols!"
You lied, fairybeard. I mean, I guess she is a pirate...
I walk out into the intersection and draw a blank.
...Rose-chan volunteers to lead! "...How the toss'd you even got down 'ere if you don't know how?"
"It was a different time." I inform her. "Skoolatoons roamed the earth, like wi~ld animals! And terrorized, 'n'..."
I turn to Ha-chan. "Ey, Quickdraw! You seen any villains!?"
...After her initial shock from my yelling, she beams. "Well, I-"
Fwoom! The hall to our right is lit up.
Giant red pot riding fluffle coming right the fuck at us!
I begin pushing Rose-chan! "Go, go, freakin' go!" I think we found our villains!
"Ah- right! Follow!" She begins running, and I tail along behind her. Looking to my left, the fluffle pot thing- I'll just call 'em Crimson Jazzes from now on, since I know where they freakin' come from- eagerly catches up to us because they're fast fiends.
So many questions, yo. The most important of which being: are we going to get completely annihilated by fluffles!?
Lifting her cutlass- which I didn't see her take, earlier- Rose-chan turns, ready to engage. "Ahoy! Scatter, ye dog!"
She swung at it!
Cling!
...Wow, that was completely useless!
"I got it!" Ha-chan casts another little spark bolt thing!
Thwash.
Fuck and all. You guys might as well, like, not exist.
Takin' out Deep Blue, I hope it'll do something. Fire's weak to water, right?
The Crimson Jazz glows orange, for a moment, before the glow leaves.
And now- those red popping fire orbs are generating behind me Jesus fuck-
Fwam! Fwam! Fwam!
Fuck that hurts! It- it's like touching a stove, dude! Except on your arms, and legs… and chest.
Like the wind, I turn the valve on Deep Blue, and begin dousing myself. I use it like a showerhead, yo. Not entirely comfortable, but, y'know beats being on fire.
Running quickly, I manage to wet myself. The water actually reduces the size of the orbs around me, the ones I accidentally hit, anyway. They pop so fast there's no way to actually target them…
"Brad-kun!" Ha-chan shouted. "I'll help!"
Thwash. She used another tiny static bolt on the thing, but it still refused to do anything productive.
The Crimson Jazz proceeded to turn around, and bash itself against her.
Ha-chan's flung into a nearby wall. Bouncing off of it, and landing on her bum, she processes these events. "...Ow!"
"C'mon!" Rose-chan begins going down a direction. "These blazin' bastards'll never clear the door!"
The problem is that there will be more outside, but okay…
Fwam, fwam, fwam!
"Aa~gh…!" Unable to contain my pain, I express it.
The Crimson Jazz goes up to me to bash me with its broadside, and I put out Deep Blue to block-
Cling!
Considering it nearly bowled me over, that was a crappy block, but the thing recoiled when the water hit it…!
The fire spell ceased searing my clothes and skin, letting me take a moment to spritz the thing with water.
Deep Blue's jet of water made direct contact with the Crimson Jazz, which rapidly twitched and flinched under the stream of water, until-
Cra~ck!
...What, s'that like, negative three hundred water resistance? Huh. I probably coulda helped Reimu out a lot more, earlier…
Even though I killed it with water, it exploded into fire, leaving a bonfire on the stone floor.
Rose-chan seems to have run down the path without me, though Ha-chan is still with me…
I take out the Escape Plan, and follow the directions on it. Eventually, we catch up with Rose-chan-
"Where'd you two go!?" Friend, you're not the one who should be angry.
"Home." I smile at her…
...After a few confused moments, she smiles back. "Okay…?"
Awwh.
Progressing past her and wastin' no more time, I rush up to the open cellar doorway-
Boom! Fwam, fwam, fwam! Boom!
Please, no.
...Peeking my head out, I see Flandre swinging her Laevatein around at the blazing bastards.
Boo-boom! Boom, boom, boom!
Cr-Cra~ck!
Flaming shards scatter across the floor and- the mansion's going to burn down again, isn't it?
"Hey, hey, hey…!" Marisa zipped by, roaring past Flandre entirely, ignoring the blaze. Freakin', where is she go-
There was a low hum in the air. Just, kinda like 'vwoop', or something. Looking at Marisa, I saw some sort of grey, silky-skinned humanoid tailing her, with a large ass lance. It was in the same style as those freakin' snipers the other day, except with a big lance!
It shot through the air, but Marisa barreled up and out of the way-
Thwa~sh!
A shock wave emanated on the wall where the lancer struck, its progress halted by its own half-embedded lance.
...I think it's a good time to waste more time…!
"Yea~h!" Ha-chan flies up from behind me. "Let's go find- woa~h!"
The same lancer who chased Marisa is now in front of Ha-chan.
Its lance is in her stomach.
Pi~chun!
Whelp. I retreat into the cellar.
Rose-chan furrows her brows. "Ye damned coward! Where're ya going!?"
"Home!" I yell back, running for the depths of Flandre's basement! I think this is even worse than the fairies with guns...!
Wieldin' The Escape Plan, I proceed to retrace my steps back into the depths…
Rosie McGosie tails along, for some reason. "We gotta help the assless lass! Wher're you going!?"
Freakin'...!
Eventually, we reach the area before Flandre's room.
I point up at the ceiling. "Oi, Rosie O'Donnell, get me up there."
She snorts. "Name's Rose, lad."
Daw. No 'RoseGardenweather' or anything equally as convoluted…
...She looks up. "Oh, right. There be a hole, here."
Ho ho!
…
She stares at me. I stare back.
…
"Carry me up, friend." Please?
She folds her arms, scoffing. "Y'expect me ta hold your slimy ass?"
Son. "It's to save the ass of another, yo. Asses to asses."
...At that, she sighs. "Fine."
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
...Slowly, I rise from the long ass concrete tunnel, Rosie Palms carrying me by my arms as we gradually cleared the hole. One arm had Deep Blue held, and the other Tundra Bloomer. Up here, we were in some hallway-
Boom!
Oo~h… A wall blew open. Now there's like, an inferno just five doors down...
Yeah, this place is going to burn. Freakin'...!
Sanae flew out from above the flames, going insanely fast. Before I even could process her appearance, she skidded to a halt on the floor before me, her sandals digging into the carpet and leaving marks.
"Kanako-sama!" She props her arms in some sorta pose… "Aerogun!"
In that moment, Kanako appeared before her, a big grin on her face.
"Hra~h!" Kanako spun, wind rapidly- holy…!
I slam Tundra Bloomer into the carpet, cracking the floor. I hug the weapon tightly as the wind violently whips around the hall, a vortex perfectly conforming to the hall's shape…
My breath was held, lest the wind choke me.
"Aaa-ahh~...!" Rose let out a startled cry, before I couldn't hear her voice in the wind anymore.
It continued for a good minute, my eyes tearing up as the wind whipped and chilled my face, my shaggy-ass hair billowing in the violent wind…
...It finally ends. The fire was pushed back into the wall, it seems…
"Brad!" Sanae took an ofuda, and tossed it to me.
Yo, no, wha-
Slap!
...It glows green.
"Heal!" Sanae exclaims.
It evaporates.
...I feel less shit about getting whipped by the wind, so that's nice.
Wait, healing stuff! "Hey, Sanae!" I call out to her!
Sakuya appeared, all of a sudden. She had these really blue knives wielded- ones that I freakin' forgot she had- and she was tossing them into the inferno.
As they landed in the blaze, they exploded into blasts of water, dousing the flames. There was no time for hellos, as she vanished immediately after.
"Hey!" She calls out to me, running towards me. "We-we're too late! The fluffles…!"
I nod. "Yeah, yo! They're getting jiggy with it, yo!"
...Turning to the side, I see Marisa gaining on us.
Vwoom.
The tall, lance-wielding fluffle of course it would be appeared at her side, stalking her.
"Ghn…" She grunted, performing a hard turn into a deviating hallway to avoid a lance that suddenly dropped from the ceiling. A torrent of wind roared out from where it landed, extending outward like a shockwave.
She reached into her pocket, and took out a bottle. "Magic Waste, Deep Ecological Bomb!"
It glowed a bright blue.
Vwoom. The lancer, who fell behind trying to avoid the stray lance, was by Marisa's side again.
Marisa held out her hand. "He~re ya go!"
...The lance looked down at the bottle with its fluffy face, and used its free, sleeve-like appendage to grab onto it.
With that, Marisa zoomed off.
...The lancer looked down at the bomb bottle.
Boom!
A blue glow enveloped it. When it faded, the grey, silky parts of the costume dropped to the floor.
Sanae leapt in place, pumping a fist into the air. "Yea~h! Screw that fluffle!"
I point at the hole I emerged from. "Sanae, we gotta crawl into that hole and die, yo."
...Sanae furrowed her brows. "What? No… no."
Hyonk. "By that, I mean Koishi got shot in the everything and needs you to not die maybe." There we go!
Sanae's eyes widen. "Ko-Koishi!? Who-..." ...It takes her a moment. "Oh- oh my god! What happened to her!?"
...Kanako popped into existence to bap her on the back of the head with a copy of the Bunbunmaru, before vanishing again. Sanae rubbed her head…
"Got shot, B! Got shot!" I begin crouch-jumping in place! "Ouugh, ouugh!"
…
Sanae's staring at me like I'm some kinda freakin' loon.
"Too hype?" I grin.
"Too hype." Shaking her head, she drifts towards the hole. "Where will she be?"
"Flandre's room." I tell her.
…
She puts two and two together. "Koishi~! I'm comi~ng!" By that, I mean she realized why Flandre's pissed, I think.
...I got no idea what happened to Rose, but her cutlass is lying on the floor like twenty feet away.
...It's time to be a pirate, son!
I begin to march towards it-
Boom!
Woa~h no!
This time, Remilia soared through the wall, two of the fluffian lances in each of her hands.
Vwoom- Vwoom.
Two fluffles appeared at her sides, trying to steal back their lances.
"Get-... u~gh!" Making an annoyed grunt, she turned to one, and tossed the lance at it.
Cli~ng!
The lance went right through it, destroying the fluffle in the suit. A shockwave was made further down the hall, wind roaring out from the impact.
A liquid-like substance dropped from the fluffle's abandoned silky rags, but it quickly evaporated.
Remilia swung the other lance at the last fluffle.
Thwshwsh…!
The odd liquid splashed across the floor, before vaporizing.
...From there, Remilia focused on me. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"Freeing the scottish lands." I inform her, grinning. "Rallying all the cla~ns!"
"...Right." She snorted. "You do that, then. Keep your eyes open, or you'll die."
With that, she flew back into the hole she made.
...Oh, shit, I'm alone, aren't I?
"Don't be scared!"
Koishi stands next to me, smiling. "Be happy!"
...Hi, friend.
Boom! Boom, boom!
Walls began getting blown up, somewhere…!
...Crack, cra~ck!
Yo!
The wall before us bends, Flandre's long nails digging through the wood and paint, her limbs clumsily nudging aside whatever she didn't cut up.
Koishi froze up upon seeing her, for some-...!?
I'm suddenly really angry! "Fuck fluffles!" Swinging Tundra Bloomer around, I take my newfound rage out on the wall.
Bam!
"Aaaa~h!" Koishi roars, and she begins punching the wall, to little effect.
"Aaaa~h!" Flandre roars, standing still.
"Aa-aaa~h…!" ...Is my voice really that freakin' weak!?
…
Tears in her eyes, Flandre retracted her claws and glomped Koishi.
Koishi begins crying. "Fla-Fla~ndre~!"
"Koishi~cha~n!" Flandre buries her face in Koishi's shoulder.
I begin crying too, for some reason. "Yo-you two…"
Kneeling, I hug them.
…
Koishi gets snug. "You guys are warm!"
"You too!" Flandre is suddenly happy again.
Why the hell was I crying?
"Those fluffles are going to pay for what they did to me…" Koishi suddenly broke from Flandre, clenching a fist. "Death from above, we'll be an army of wings."
"I'll kill them." Flandre grins widely.
I crack my knuckles. "We'll make the enemy kneel." Can't believe I was okay with being happy just a few moments ago. This is the biggest thing I've ever-
Koishi and Flandre vanish.
…
That was freakin' edgy, yo. I wipe the angry tears from my eyes, freakin' befuddled. I don't even know what the hell just happened, but I went bipolar for a moment, or something.
Flandre and Koishi appeared before me again, the latter looking around. "Hey, Flan-chan…"
Flandre tilts her head.
I'm very interested, too! I stare at Koishi.
"Does your sister still buy those tasty cakes?" Koishi gingerly asks.
...Flandre shrugs, looking cuddlier than before. "Tasty cakes…"
...I dunno how to act here. It's this warm feeling in the pit of my stomach, and I dunno what to do with it du~de!
I looked around.
The right of the hallway was filled with Crimson Jazzes and those lance wielding pricks.
I looked to the left.
Oh. Oh, no.
...Crouching, I tap on Flandre's shoulder.
Flandre turned to me. "Hi."
...I pointed at the fluffles.
She turned to them…
…
I leapt back as she suddenly summoned forth her explosion blade. "...Ko-chan. Run."
Koishi shook her head. "No! I'm gonna stay and help!"
...Flandre sighed. You don't hear that every day! "I don't want you to get hurt again!"
"I can be scarce, and stuff." Arguing with her, Koishi suddenly popped up in front of us. "I'll be support!"
The three orbiting fireballs of doom began generating around Flandre, the Crimson Jazzes throwing caution to the wind and gradually approaching.
This is not the place for me to be. At all.
I double back for the hole in the floor…!
Vwoom. Vwoom.
Lancers flicker into my path. I take Tundra Bloomer, and attempt to bash them aside-
Cli~ng!
My swing is parried in an instant. Shit…!
Boom!
Flandre's sword strikes the nearby wall. The fluffle lancer things leap like ten feet into the air, literally, and sit there, frozen in a startled posture.
"Reflex Radar!" Koishi exclaimed.
Suddenly, she was nowhere, and she was everywhere. Every twitch made by the fluffian lancers caused a copy of her to blink in nearby, a small, yellow ring of light appearing where there was movement.
...As badass as that was, it doesn't actually help!
With this moment, I slid into the concrete tunnel. Falling, I used Tundra Bloomer's length to scrape the uneven rock walls and block the thin tunnel, stopping myself from falling to a painful, clumsy death.
...I release it- oh geez I'm falling- clench!
Cling!
Ee~y.
...Release- freakin'... clench!
Cling!
Hehe~y!
…
Release!
I fall from the hole in the concrete ceiling, landing with a thud. "...Oof!"
Sanae and Reimu stepped from the room. Reimu's face was cynical. "...Where'd you come from?"
I point up. "The sky, dude…"
The mansion begins to vibrate sporadically.
Uh oh.
...Reimu sighed. "I half feel like that's your fault."
Freakin'...!
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: FLANDRE'S PERSPECTIVE ====
…
Ko-chan blinked in front of me, and booped my nose!
…
"No…" These stupid dust things… "...I'm not gonna let you push me around!"
Laevatein flares up at my side. Let's do this!
...Ko-chan booped my nose again.
The big red pot things began floating for me! Reeling my sword back, I swung at them!
Bla-boo-boom-bam!
Four hit combo~!
They all really loudly shatter. Their shard things scatter to the floor, and become flames. Fire! They're trying to burn down the mansion!
...Again!
I swing my sword at the fire-
Boom!
...I made it wor~se…
"Rekindled…" I hear Ko-chan speak, but I dunno from where! "The Embers Of Love!"
…
All the fluffy things start clinging to each other and snuggling. Aww~!
I walk towards them, and the spear stick wielding thingies slide through the fire, and press against me gently.
I hug them back!
...After a few moments, the fire gets to them, and the fluffles burn to death. Awwh…
Ko-chan pops up behind me, and casts a spell! "Magnega!"
Ooo~! Woah!
The fluffles and me are all pulled into this spinny shiny orb thing!
...It's kinda dull, though. It ends really fast, too.
The burning fluff stuffs are all dropped onto the floor with me. I'm burning, too, which is kinda annoying, but I got bigger things to do! I can't let a little fire get me down!
I swing-
Boom!
What did I hit?
I turned, and saw smoke.
Guess I'll never find out…
"You know, I never used these spells literally, before…!" Ko-chan eagerly propped her arms to her sides, not appearing at all.
"They can be fun!" I tell her. Really, they can. The only one I used real literally is Four Of a Kind, among a few others… I guess it's not the only one, then!
Ko-chan grins, behind me and in front of me. "Suppression: Super-Ego!"
And- I- Wh- Sh- Ah-...
…
I begin swinging my sword around. These dolls want to hurt me. They want to break me, Remi, Sakuya, Meiling, Patchouli, Ko-chan, Brad, Marisa… Koakuma too, I guess...
I have to break them first.
…
…
…
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: BRAD'S PERSPECTIVE ====
...The vibrations are getting louder!
Reimu led us to the exit of the maze intersection, again. She noticed the ever increasing series of explosions, too. "...Seriously."
"The mansion's self-destructing!" Sanae squeed. "We have five minutes to run, Reimu!"
"Don't joke about that." Reimu stopped just before the stairway out of the cellar. "This place feels like it's gonna blow as we speak."
The mansion violently rumbles. Stone falls from the cellar's ceiling…
"We~ should go!" Sanae briskly marches up the stairs. I do the same!
At the top, there are no more blazing bastards, or teleporty people with pointy sticks. Good!
...Sanae freaks out. "What way do we go~!?"
"Home." ...That wasn't actually me, who said that. Freakin', Reimu thefted that from me…
With that, she began floating in the direction that likely led out of the manor, Sanae and I following her because we couldn't do it ourselves.
The hallways don't seem to favor her, at least not explicitly, but she seems to know her way with uncanny accuracy. She rounds a corner, and we end up in front of a few Crimson Jazzes…
Reimu grunted. "Great."
Then, from behind us, blue tomes floated outward.
Reimu doesn't give either any real chance to do anything. "Spirit Sign…"
Pre-emptively, Sanae begins falling back. "Eee~!"
Ooh~ boy. With little other choice, I advance in the opposite direction with Sanae.
"Fantasy Seal!"
The fluffles get the rainbow orbs again.
A series of seven different, rainbow colored orbs form around Reimu. Seconds later, they zoom out, homing in on the Crimson Jazzes-
Boom! Bam! Fwam! Bam! Boom!
...When the ripples of light end, the flaming shards drop to the floor…
Fwoom!
Instant inferno. Woa~h no.
...Huffing in frustration, Reimu turns to me. "Water hanger. Now."
Yo, yo, okay…! I reach for the sack-
The moment I bring it up, Reimu digs into it, her hand rifling through it, until she pulls out Flame Salvo. "This'll do?"
Aaa~h! "No! No, it won't!"
She points it at the fire, and- o~h…
Fwoom! So bright…!
…
She takes my bag, and quickly shoves the hanger back in. "Your fault."
Son.
"A-aah…!" Sanae clams up. "Ca-can I put out that much…!?"
The blue tomes still overhead begin opening up, spreads of ice magic shooting out at the flames, doing little due to their newfound intensity.
After a few moments of searching, she pulls out Deep Blue, and points it at the blaze. Which, thanks to her previous effort, is now brighter than I can freakin' look at.
She charges it with mana-
FWOOSH
The resulting tsunami of water immediately changes the scene.
Now, the hallway's literally just soot and freakin'... soot puddles. I see vague remains of furniture, portraits, and vases in the rubble.
...Once it's over, Reimu furrows her brows at the embers… which slowly become fire again.
She points the hanger at the hall again.
Spu~rtz!
Whelp.
...Once the insane, hallway filling gush of water ends, some of it flows back out from wherever Reimu flushed it into. It flows out, and onto my shoes…
"Egh…" Reimu floats into the air, her sandals and socks covered in the black mud. "...Darn."
Sanae does the same. "Ooh- agh… Really~...?"
They seem more annoyed, than alarmed. Unfortunately, I can't jump and stuff, so~...
I take off my Kaguya wig to avoid it getting dirtied! The robe can suck it, though, 'cause I'm not takin' that off. All those extra 3DSs inside it make for good armor, y'know? Even if each of them would block only a single hit from anything here!
...Or none, if they're like Remilia or Flandre. Or if the attack's magical.
Reimu and Sanae begin floating ahead, and I have to freakin'... stomp along in the muddy hallway to track them. I'm the real warrior here, yo. Even if I wish I could take the easy way out like them!
Fortunately, they hang back enough for me to sloppily run along after them. Sanae looks back at me a few times, noting the trouble I was having, but not sayin' anything about it. Freakin'...
This is one of those moments where ya wish they did, but they wouldn't.. and I don't feel like saying that out loud! Except to the peanut gallery in my head. You.
...A gap opened before me, a gloved fist sticking out. "Hey, hey! I coulda been talkin' to myself!"
Reimu and Sanae turn around to face me.
The gap closes-
Shink!
...The disembodied gloved hand drops to the floor, blood oozing out from where it was cut off.
Shieut. I know you were in the wrong, Yukari, butcha didn't have to go up and cut your hand off!
...Reimu sighed. "Let's keep going."
Sanae glanced between us in confusion, but didn't add anything.
As we continued, the blue tomes darted to and fro, forming a line across the whole hallway where they rested in the air, occasionally attacking whatever seemed to still be flaming.
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
We reach the front lobby!
Two spear-toting, grey humanoids are slapped together by Meiling's arms. She turns around-
Thwa~sh!
A spear ends up in her stomach. Her eyes widen, for a moment, but she reaches down for it…
Oo~h. Ooo~h.
Kri~k!
Those are pronged, Meiling! The ends are abstract art!
Crack!
...She just pulled the pointy spear from her abdomen, a thin hole where it pierced her chest. Red bits that I can't really make out drop from her torso, and she seems taken aback by just how much came out. Even so, she looks for the responsible enemy, and tosses the spear back.
The spear turns into light as it travels, becoming similar to the speed Remilia tossed it at.
Thwash!
The fluffle thing fell apart, yet another one downed.
Sanae jogged towards the gate keeper. "Meiling!" Drawing an ofuda, she threw it...
...Kasen dropped from above, and put her hand to Meiling's back...
"Heal!"
...Meiling slowly stood, pumping her arms in the air. "Yea~h! Healing magic's awesome!"
...Kasen and Sanae connected eyes, looking annoyed with one another.
That moment when you both blow a potion healing the same person. Oof.
...The mansion's shaking increased! I nearly end up falling over…
Meiling focused on us. "You guys know what's going on?"
Reimu shrugged. "Stuff's exploding."
...At that, Meiling gave an awkward nod. "Well, yeah…"
"Flandre and Koishi are goin' double time, yo." I contribute. "I was almost at ground zero!"
…
"Let's go…" Meiling concedes the mansion's safety, moving for the door.
Sighing, Kasen follows behind her.
Reimu and Sanae promptly follow, and I end up havin' little other choice than to go out with 'em…
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
From about a hundred feet away from the mansion's gates, we watch the manor itself…
Pillars of fire, and some other green magic, are seen jutting from the mansion's roof.
"...Wasn't Marisa with you guys?" Reimu realized, turning to Sanae and Kasen.
...Sanae gasped. "Oh, no!"
...At that moment, we saw a rainbow-colored pillar of light extend from the mansion, which was probably more like a familiar beam than a pillar.
"Ah." Reimu folded her arms.
…
"Aren't you worried?" Sanae turned to the other miko, concerned.
"Patchouli's in there." Reimu reasoned. "She'll be fine. Those two would rather let themselves die than each other."
...You say that as if Patchy liked either of us very well.
Luckily for me, that tickled Sanae's inner gossipy school girl! "...Wait, Reimu, are they…?" She tilts her head, staring at the other miko.
Reimu rolls her eyes. "Study partners, probably. I can't see Patchouli loving anyone other than her books. Though, I'm pretty sure Marisa likes her."
Oo~h, the answer I both did and didn't want to hear…!
"...Awwh." Sanae pouted.
…
Eventually, we saw the form of Marisa come from the direction of the manor, her broom smoking again.
"Look ou~t!" Her loud yell was accented by a slow, ginger descent into the floor…
Eventually, her broom dug into the dirt just before us. Before Marisa could skid into anyone, Reimu brought her sandal down in the broom's path, and stopped it.
Marisa was jerked forward a bit from the stop. Her face was covered in soot, and a tiny flame was slowly building on her hat… "Shit's crazy in there, ze! Flandre just kicked my ass!"
How are you alive?
...Reimu pointed the water hanger at her-
FWOOSH
"Wha-ghugh!?"
...When the hydro hell ended, Marisa was pinned against a tree many feet away.
She coughed up water. "Kaugh! U~gh… Why~, Reimu…?"
"You were on fire." Reimu justified, before tossing Deep Blue back in my general direction.
I fumble to catch it. "Yo, yo, yo~..."
Stepping up to Marisa, Meiling asks a question. "How bad is it, in there?"
...Marisa peels from the tree, scratching her cheek. "Uuh, well…"
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: KOISHI'S PERSPECTIVE ====
Hahahaha~!
Behind me, Flandre swings her sword! I can't see her anymore, and being too close to her like this hurts, but I know she's there!
There's also explosions, and stuff. Flandre's kinda stuck in them, and- ooh!
Woosh!
That spear thingy tried to hit me!
Let's see, sister told me I could do some basic magic, once, too… Like if I-
Fwoom! Woa~h!
That's a lotta pretty green magic!
The spear's gone, too!
One of those pot things floats into me, and then I'm on fire! So I decide to stop being on fire, 'cause fire hurts. Flandre's on fire, but for her it doesn't hurt, and I dunno if I could make her stop being on fire, because being near her hurts. Explosions hurt.
Speaking of being on fire…!
"Magnega!" I don't know how magnets work!
More fluffles and pieces of wood and fire get caught in the vortex, whirling around. Flandre ends up in there, too, so I make sure to not be there. It hurts to be in there, I found out.
I make sure to be nowhere for any more than one… fraction of a moment? Something like that. If I stay still, I get hurt! When I wanna take a break, I just stop in one of the empty rooms, and relax.
Which I think I'll do now.
…
It's dark, but this bed is soft.
…
Oh, no! The wall blew open!
"I'm here to- holy…!" Boo~m!
It's Marisa! And she's not on fire, or exploding!
She aims her eight-sided box at Flandre's position. She doesn't know what's going on, but…
I can't let her hurt Flan-chan.
"Maste~r…!"
I take her arm, and pull it upward.
"Agh!?" Hey eyes widen. She's surprised- kinda scared, too. "Spa-spark…!"
Vrrrrr~!
The heavy beam goes into the ceiling, instead. Phew!
"Wh-what…!?" She looks around. She doesn't know I did it, but-
"A-ah!" Those three red circles began forming around her. Oh, no!
...She flies in circles for a moment, before going in the opposite direction. She tries to escape them horizontally, but after a moment, they crash together behind her-
Fwam!
"Waa~h!" Marisa spirals down the hallway, the tip of her hat now on fire. "Woahoahoa~h!"
Shatter!
She exits through a window at the end of the hallway, veering up to get more air.
Bam, bam!
The mansion's falling apart, but Flandre'll be okay. I got to go, though.
…
…
…
I'm outside, now.
"Yo, yo, yo~..." Brad got his hanger back from Reimu. He's a little annoyed about how it was thrown to him, and about how he got all dirty, earlier…
The gate keeper walked up to Marisa, who was now all wet and soggy, against the tree. She's concerned, but kinda mad, too. She's not showing it. "How bad is it, in there?"
...Marisa becomes a little sheepish, as she scratches her cheek. "Uuh, well…"
I appear! "It's a little on fire!"
Green girl jumps. Turning to me, I feel her become more guarded... "You… I didn't feel you."
"I don't feel me, either!" I tell her! "But I did feel how on fire it was in there!"
...Brad seems amused, in his own way. "Ya felt how on fire it was."
Yeah! I nod. "It was warm, and it hurt, so I had to go."
…
Meiling slouched. She's got this sinking feeling…
"Yet you're totally fine." Reimu looked up and down at me. I~... don't really feel much from her! Out of the normal normalness she has.
But yeah! "I'm fine!"
...Thud!
...We all turn, to see Remilia land outside the mansion, on fire.
With a single thrust of her wings, she puts herself out, her clothes charred black, but her skin rapidly healing.
"This sucks." She's not happy. "I knew those fluffles were up to no good." ...Then, she turns to Reimu, shielding her eyes from the dim end-of-day sun as she does so. "What're you and your entourage of clowns doing here?"
Reimu blinks. "...We came to warn you about the fluffles."
Remilia nods. "Yeah. Mmm. Good job. Really pulled that one off." She's a little lower than 'not happy'.
She turns to me! "...And just what are you doing here?"
"Flan-chan wanted to play." I explained to her. "And then I nearly died, and she got really sad."
"You nearly died." Remilia was surprised! She didn't show it that much, though. "How?"
"I got shot!" By fairies! With guns! "...Gunfairies!"
...Remilia facepalmed.
...Reimu narrowed her eyes at me, suspicion building. Wha~...?
Wo-woah, that feels-
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: REIMU'S PERSPECTIVE ====
I knew something was off when Brad didn't have that anymore, and Koishi did. Now I have it again…
What is this?
"Woa~h…" Koishi sways around. "Reimu made my head all dizzy…!"
...People begin to turn to me.
It's a bit much to explain, to be honest. "I do that to people, apparently."
Marisa snorts. "Yeah, okay, Reimu. When's the last ya went on a date?"
...Good question. "When's the last time either of us went on dates?"
"Hey," Grinning, Marisa takes her hat off, squeezing it to dry it out. "When I was like, five, there was this one boy…"
"When you were five." We're done, here.
"No- listen!" She marched towards us again.
What if I switched that value mid-sentence? The weird value Koishi had, that used to be on Brad and myself...
Brad interjected. "Didja save the world from getting crushed by the moon, yo? 'Cause when-"
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: BRAD'S PERSPECTIVE ====
Yo~. What the frik!?
Reimu was looking me dead on when that happened. I know I was talkin', but c'mon…!
...Awkwardly, I continue. "Rei~mu made me dizzy in the head, yo!"
Reimu rolled her eyes.
Marisa turned to her. "Ya made him shut up. Yer a hero!" He~y, now…
Smugly grinning, Sanae snuck up behind Reimu. "You know, Rei-"
"I swear to whoever the Hakurei god is, Sanae, that if you try to play matchmaker, I will displace you." Reimu doesn't even turn to her to express her dissatisfaction, but her face says how done she is.
It was in this moment-
FWASH
Did the mansion explode!?
I turn to it…
It's now encased in ice. A huge spike stretched to the clouds above.
…
Remilia clapped her hands. "Splendid! Splendid showing!"
Meiling gaped at it. "...What happened!?"
Now Remilia was smug. "Patchy pulled through, you see! With the assistance of Sakuya, of course. I had nearly thrown in the towel, when I myself was expelled from the manor, but I'm glad to see most of my staff was well-equipped to deal with fires, this time."
...Oo~h, shieut. They had a plan, dude. They bet on it happening again! The sly bastards!
Reimu whistled. "It's almost as if you knew this was going to happen."
...Remilia nodded compromisingly. "Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, shame on you. The third time just doesn't happen."
…
I turn to her. "I assume you are adequately warned of the fluffy menace?"
"Yeah, sure." Remilia struts towards the manor. "Meiling, come help me dig everything out."
"Ri-right away, Mistress!" Meiling jogs towards the manor, moving ahead of the casually strutting Remilia.
That's a lotta freakin' ice, by the way.
As they walk off, Marisa turns to Reimu. "...Weren't ya supposed to be sick?"
It is now Reimu's turn to be smug, even if not as much as the other smug people. "I got better."
...With that, Sanae began drifting off. "We~ll, I'm going home. I kinda need, uhm…" She looked down at her miko outfit, which was covered in charred patches and a few almost-rips. "To unwind."
"I hear ya." Marisa began floating away, too. "How about we all head down ta Alice's? Today's free cloth day!"
Sanae beamed. "Really!?"
Rolling her eyes, Reimu tagged along with the witch anyway, the three drifting off into the daytime sky…
Kasen began to walk away. "Quite lively, aren't they?" Her clothes weren't nearly as banged up, somehow.
I watch her walk away, before turning back to the mansion…
I'm cold, and the mansion's in deep freeze. However, igloos are warm! I think I know where I~'m going…!
I strut towards the gates, ready to enter…!
Clang.
The gate slammed shut. Unfortunately, Meiling and Remilia didn't notice, staring at the frozen ice in front of the door…
Freakin'... did the gate just decide to be an asshole today? Did they make it automatic like those sliding doors at supermarkets?
"Over here."
I look to the left, hearing Yukari's voice.
She's to the left, beckoning me with a gloved finger, her expression neutral.
Oo~h boy. Should… I run? Nah, that'd suck ass, 'cause she'd blow me away. Reluctantly, I settle for approaching her…
"What's up now, friend?" Let's play it cool and neutral for now, yo. Also, her hand's back.
"Don't you think it a bit… peculiar?" She tilts her head. Smoothly, she unfurls a fan and shields her face, 'cause yeah.
You did not specify 'it'. "Yes, it is." I nod, satisfied.
She is not deterred, however! "How Gensokyo, in the past few weeks, has had rather… unfitting incidents?"
That is kinda weird. "We~ll, they're not all gonna be uniform, are they?"
With a snort, she fires back. "In addition, this fluffle infestation occurred at precisely the same time you came to exist inside Gensokyo's boundary."
...Huh. "...Wait, are you sayin' it's my fault!?" That'd be some bullshit!
...She stares at me, her fan actually serving to- nevermind, I think she's grinning. "Yes, and no."
You never make it easy, do you? "...Is that a maybe?"
"No." She likes not making it easy, too.
Alright, I'm not playin' twenty questions, here. "Why and how?"
"That is what I want to know." Yukari's eyes stare into my soul. Even though I'm good at the whole 'staring into the abyss' thing, her focused eyes kinda gimme the heebie jeebies. Probably because she's stupid powerful. "In addition, I have found previous actions of my own rather suspicious, as of recent. I was surprisingly complacent with this thing one might call a 'fourth wall'."
Wait…
"...I do not know what allowed me to recover my sovereignty, as it were." She folded her fan shut, revealing a grin. "But I was born a victor, you see."
I point at her. "I~... thought you knew about this whole 'fanfiction' deal, myself. Like, legit." She's freakin' scary!
"If we're to…" She narrows her eyes, "'share' Gensokyo's overseeing, there will need to be some ground rules."
Did I ever oversee anything!?
...She reads my incredulity. "I admire the control you've given me thus far, but I am still displeased with the incidents that have followed up to this point. And this scourge upon all life on Earth which you've dubbed 'fluffles'."
I feel uncomfortable being outside the fourth wall this long.
"I do, too." She snorts. "Then, I will make this quick. You leave incidents that you've not started to me. Additionally, I retain full control of Gensokyo's properties, maintenance, and wellbeing. To you, nothing will be different, I'm sure, and we'll carry on as if this deal were never forged. However, this ensures that Gensokyo will carry on after your natural death, human as you are."
...That's kinda a lot to take in…!
"Of course, if you don't agree, now I may kill you freely."
Did you have to ask!? Actually… how would you kill me if I said no? Like, would it just be stop-sign mania, or-
| Everyday Gensokyo: Yukari Yakumo's Perspective |
No, it would be something like this.
...Brad blinks, giving an exaggerated, energetic nod. "Oh! Okay. So you can apparently just do that."
"Indeed." I tell him. Like this, I cannot read what he types, unfortunately. That just means he'll say it aloud, instead. "I am far more versed in this sort of endeavor." Nearly seven hundred thousand words of being left to my own devices? One has to ask if Brad was a madman, or just stupid.
"...So, if I say yes, will you, uh…?" He fidgets, clearly nervous. As he should be.
I graciously nod, bringing relief to his features. "Yes."
From there, he takes a moment to reply, likely gathering what he would say proper. "In that case, sure. You get to do your crazy Yukari-related things, and I get to do my not-Yukari-related things."
Very good.
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: BRAD'S PERSPECTIVE ====
At that, she smiles. "I'm pleased. Good to have that squared away."
I have sold my soul to the devil. Provided, to avoid having my soul forcibly ripped out by the devil, but y'know… "I feel like I made a bad decision!"
"No takebacks." She winked. "Besides, I'm sure you'll be happier this way. Not that I'll help you, considering you don't like that sort of thing."
No, please, by all means! I need stuff to become better at not dying!
"See you later!" With that, Yukari cheerfully retreats into her gap.
…
Whelp. I wonder if Patchy can help me determine if I made the right decision or not. She's a smart book person.
I step towards the gate, which is now just open for no reason. Oo~h, man, now I'm having real buyer's remorse. I got this feeling she got more than she asked for, or she took more, or I dunno yo!
Maybe it's just me thinking Yukari's not associated with good things. Generally 'cause she's all pro-balance and pro-youkai and stuff. Although, it's not like I had a lot of control to begin with, I think…
Well, that's that. No use cryin' over spilled milk! Gonna get out there and make Gensokyo great again, yo.
I walk through the gate!
All things considered, the Scarlet Devil Mansion's already great again, because it has like a fifteen foot wall around it.
I step up to the new hole in the ice, and enter!
...Shoulda brought a torch. Freakin'...
Wieldin' Flame Salvo, I keep cautious distance from the bright violence ahead, where Remilia and Meiling are brightly tunneling through the solid ice.
I wonder if I can do it, too…!
Attack the ice!
Clink!
Flames licked the side of the ice, and went out. It didn't even turn to water.
Oh, fuck.
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
...I gaze at the forms of Koi, Komi, and Namori, one of Meiling's tunnels having ended up around the kitchen, or so. For whatever reason, Meiling stopped in here for water, even though, y'know…
Regardless, fairies! Komi was frozen in a position where she was tossing plates, some of various plates still fossilized mid-flight. Koi was wrestling with one of the Crimson Jazzes, which is actually dead inside of the ice. I can see the amber glow of the fossilized flames, which is fucking cool and also scary.
Namori was like, hiding in the sink, which didn't prove to be a good idea.
...Their eyes all focus on me.
I tap on the ice. "Auh. Auh, auh!" I make condescendingly generic noises!
"...What the hell are you doing?"
Remilia passes me, idly commenting on my choice of action.
"Mining for noobs, dude…" I found some!
"...I think you found them." E~y, she guessed the connotation of 'noob'!
With that, Remilia trotted off down Meiling's trail of destruction through the icy tunnel. From what I saw, Meiling was spin-kicking like a freakin' drill. Remilia used her spear and spun around it like a freakin' drill, and I~...
...followed in their footsteps, because I haven't seen ice this dense since ever.
I've gotten used to the loud ass sound of them drilling through everything ever. They seemed to be avoiding walls, but doors were fair game to get crunched.
After some time, Meiling busted through the ice in her infinite spin kick!
Bam!
At the end of her recent tunnel, was the library.
"Splendid." Remilia complimented her at the end. "...I see Patchy spared her own library."
Moving through the- woahoah…!?
I slip on the ice, and slide along the tunnel. Freakin' cylinder shapes!
"Yo, yo, yo~!" Look out, friends!
...I slide into Remilia's legs, and my progress is halted.
...She turns to glance at me, before ignoring me, continuing further into the library with Meiling.
Usin' my arms, I propel myself into the library proper- "Oof…" -sliding out and bumping my back on the way.
Inside, there was icicles hanging from the dark depths of the library's ceiling! These books were frozen today, yo…
Getting up, I jog after Meiling and Remilia, who were just walking leisurely through the halls. Eventually, though, they stop, turning to one of the aisles.
Catching up with them, I look down the aisle…
Fluffles are gathered around a crashed Crimson Jazz pot, which is dimly burning. They have their fins up, as if they're gathering heat.
Aww.
...Remilia raises her spear, which slowly enlarges. "You creatures will pay."
The fluffles raise their fins.
She throws the spear anyway.
Boom!
...No more fluffles. Oh no.
Where they sat is now scarlet electricity. Remilia huffs. "The entire mansion hits absolute zero, and there are still these awful things lurking around…"
It's actually warmer inside this library than it is outside. It was pretty warm inside the tunnels, too, but I think that was just Meiling's high energy, and her infinite spin kick of doom.
We continue through the now sorta dark blue tinted library, the ice's brightness giving the room a constant glow. A few lights are visible along the library's skies, and I dunno who's doing those.
Remilia looks up, and I follow. Red tomes are in the air, glowing softly. How much you wanna bet those tomes have identical moves to those Crimson Jazzes?
Eventually, we find Patchy's study!
Her books and stuffs are piled to the side, the desk in the middle of the clearing. She's burning it, holding her hands over the fire...
"I'm nice and wa~rm…" Koakuma cooed, trying to snuggle up next to her.
"I will toss you into the fire." Patchouli wasn't having any of it, though.
...After a few moments, our approach is noticed. "Hey, Remi."
"Good showing, Patchy." Remilia confidently nods at her. "I see this plan worked wonders."
Patchouli huffed. "...Not exactly. The idea wasn't to freeze absolutely everything solid, but instead to chill everything. Once this all melts, the mansion will likely undergo extensive water damage to the point of near ruin. This was a last ditch effort to save the library."
...Remilia slouched. "We-well, I'm sure it's nothing Sakuya and myself can't handle…"
"It's frozen inside the walls, too." Patchouli continued.
"Can you not let me just be happy with this?" Remilia gives her a tired expression. "It's either this, or everything burning down, and to be frank, I much rather we have to do extensive repairs as opposed to starting from scratch."
...Patchouli shrugs. "Fair enough."
...Koakuma moves to glomp her, but one of the floating fire tomes intercept, batting Koakuma away. "Ow!"
I sit down in front of the fire… "Aa~h, the destruction of educational material! Makes for only the homiest fire, yo."
Patchouli snorted. "I made sure to vacate all useful materials from the desk before destroying it."
...Wait. "Couldn't you have just summoned some wood?"
…
She shrugs again. "Mmm."
Honh.
"I can also make another one of these desks, if I so desired." She countered!
...And it's a good counter! I got nothin' ta say to that.
Remilia begins wandering off. "Come, Meiling. We're gonna go find my coffin, so I can lie in it."
Patchouli's brow twitched. "...Wasn't that a secret of yours?"
Remilia waved her off. "Aah, well…"
...She focuses on me. I stand up! "Oh, my god…!"
...There's a pause, as she waits for me to continue.
"You're a vampire!" I point at her! "It all makes sense now!"
She rolls her eyes. "...I'm sure he's too stupid to go around spreading such a foolhardy rumor."
Now that I think a bit more, she does have a regular bed. Where does she keep the coffin? Does she switch now and then? I mean, I probably would. If I was a vampire.
I dunno what it is with vampires and coffins.
With that, she walks off. Clapping her hands, "Come, Meiling." she beckons her gatekeeper.
Meiling waves at us. "See ya, Patchouli-sama!"
"Mmm." Patchouli imposes a half-hearted attempt at waving at her.
Now it's just us, the books, and the ice, yo! And this fire.
...I stare at the flames. The heat is too much for me to get too close, but nonetheless I'm mesmerized by the licking of fire against the dark air of the frosty library. The way it goes up and just ends, an entity unlike any other. Well, that's kinda changed since I came to Gensokyo. Fuckin' magic, yo. Though… "What makes fire do?"
...Patchouli gives me a wary stare. "I'm afraid you'll have to be just a little more specific than that."
Freakin', "How are flames things?"
Recovering from her tome-induced trauma, Koakuma, glanced up at me, rubbing her head… "Even the cavemen knew what fire was, you dumbass."
Son.
Patchouli relieves my quest for knowledge by explaining stuff to me! "Fire is the visible product of combustion. Basically… you want to know about the visual effect?"
I nod.
She nods in turn. "In that case…" She pauses, coughing. "Kauf- kauf… ri-right… the visual effect is merely coloration combined with light, for the most part. Reddish colors bloom forth more naturally, but this can be changed with conscious effort to colorize the fire. Regardless, the visual product is entirely circumstantial. The immense heat forces a chemical reaction that can be largely attributed to the resulting components... and their role in gravity as compared to the normal components of air. I'd go into detail, but I don't take it you're very familiar with chemicals and bonds?"
O~nly a little. 'Cause high school made me be. "Not particularly!"
"Mmm." With that, she went back to focusing on the fire, herself. "Fire's appearance, at its most basic, is a series of chemical coincidences that mystified man for decades to come."
...Koakuma yawned. "Patchouli-sama, you sure know a lot of things about fire. Why don't you become an arsonist?"
"Sure. I'll start with you."
She grabs Koakuma telekinetically, and jerks her towards the fire in jest, "Eep!" pulling her back a moment later.
...Koakuma glared at her. "You bitch."
Patchouli smiled smugly.
==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====
END OF CHAPTER 46
PROTAGONIST: Brad, the Fluffle Slayer, Fairy Slayer, Accidental Human Slayer, Ph. D in Plant Hangers, Scarlet Liberator, Village Liberator, Eientei Crucible, Sinker of the Flufftanic, Assembler of the Legendary Air Ride Machine, Sky Climber, Amateur Espionage Practitioner, Illegal Fairy Harborer, Holder of Too Many Titles.
PRIMARY WEAPON: Tundra Bloomer - A earth-elemental plant hanger made from sturdy rock; has a flower curved around the hilt. Able to be used as a jack hammer for demolition purposes. Strikes can be empowered with magical energy. With the addition of an enchanted shaft, it is able to be used as a warhammer and grant the ability to self-cast attack buffs to the wielder. Allows casting of Gaia Seed. Casts Tundra, a weak spike of ice!
INVENTORY:
Youkai Inconveniencer - Apparently a semi-crux to youkai and undead via a holy spell and being naturally strong against them, but it doesn't sound particularly efficient. Most respectable youkai seem to only be momentarily stunned, and anything without visual receptors or possibly a pair of sunglasses would probably be immune. Acts as a flashlight via candles. Converted to a flail with cross necklaces! Can cast Shine.
Fairy Harp - A sand-red, cast iron plant hanger. It was used to hold a generic potted plant before being utilized as a weapon of mass skull-cracking destruction. With the addition of a wind-grate, it can create small compressed air blasts. By the addition of a steel block, it gained enhanced striking power and weight, along with increased ability to channel magic into any sort of special effects it has. Sparkles in the light due to fairy dust, able to reduce the accuracy of weak, biological enemies by irritating their senses with the dust. Can play beautiful, flat-tone musi~c!
Flame Salvo - A red and crimson plant hanger comprised of mysterious gems and metals. Enchanted to have an incendiary effect upon sufficient striking force, or sufficient velocity. Good for burning stuff and people! Boosts fire abilities, allows physical strikes to do fire damage. Never again do I need a lighter or the ability to somehow rub two sticks together really hard to make a campfire! Has a flamethrower nozzle. Can cast Fume, has Flamethrower Plus!
Vortex Hanger - Wind elemental plant hanger currently attached to the Yin-Yang flail as a crafting material. Granted a limited hover per swing when wielded, but that ability is what allows the flail-o-copter to fly now.
Deep Blue - A blue and silver plant hanger comprised of mysterious fantastical metals. Enchanted to constantly produce fresh water. Boosts abilities of water-based attacks and allows physical attacks to deal water damage. Allows wielder to cast Geyser. The addition of a valve served to allow control of its water flow. I wonder if you could use this in place of a sink...
Yin-yang flail-o-copter - A flail with a standard, maximized Hakurei Yin-yang orb in the sling of it. Unable to have its powers fully activated, as only Reimu can truly harness the power of Yin-yang orbs. Minor affinities from the base orb transfer over, though! Crafted from a Hakurei Yin-Yang orb, a rope of panties, and two bra cups. Ropes were used to attach the Vortex Hanger to the yin-yang orb, allowing the flail to be used as a flying device, although it's a bit straining on the arms.
Sharper Than Darkness - A dark, runed plant hanger constructed from the shards of a dead man's sword. Dark effects promote a glass-cannon style, with increased bleeding but fighting power being the main attributes. Can cast Revenge, a dark spell which has more extreme proportions of the weapon's innate attributes. A scythe edge from a mysterious ghoul was added to give it an extra deadly edge in combat.
Bee-Sheventeen-Bawmber - A mechanical plant hanger enchanted to make big booms on contact. Explosions are mostly knockback based, but I think it could gib particularly weak-willed people… magic is weird. With the addition of a barrel, it can shoot singular, yellow danmaku bullets.
The Escape Plan - A basic green cast-iron plant hanger from the aged cellar of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, and a gift from Flandre Scarlet. Has an obsolete map out of the cellar's maze, etched by Flandre herself. Shoddily enchanted to give a speed boost when the wielder is lower on health. Has various negatives mentioned in earlier inventory summarizations…
Market Gardener - Critical hits during blast jumps! Otherwise, it's just a normal, old plant hanger. Named after a very similar shovel…!
Holy Talismans - Provides a holy upgrade and elemental shift to a weapon of choice!
Electric Talismans - Provides an electric upgrade and elemental shift to a weapon of choice!
NERF dart blaster - Nerf guns are cool and all, but don't try defending yourself with one. Please.
NERF longsword - 'CAUTION: Do not jab at people or animals'… you know what that means!
Kaguya Houraisan Disguise - Wear to become a NEET! Tons of pockets! 75% time resistance on equip. Voice, face, and height specifications not included!
Monk Robes - Wear to become a Buddhist! Actually pretty comfy…!
Butterfly Dream Pills - Makes you dream of being a beautiful butterfly!... now, if only there was a pill for lucid or wet dreams, and then I'd consider Yagokoro the doctor to end all doctors!
Remilia Scarlet Disguise - Wearing this as a tall manchild's probably not doing anyone with eyes any favors. Has resistances of sorts, but I'm not in a big fat hurry to find out…
A Wiffle Duster - For shoving up people's rectums.
PARTY:
London, the Multipurpose Combat Doll - What it lacks in brains it makes up for with a suit of armor and some OP utilitarian spells! Can cast basic fire, lightning, and ice attacks of both the magical and physical variety. Gets a lance, and can shoot danmaku. Has a variety of attack commands now, including intelligent tracking, trailing, patrolling, and defending. Has a mana pool for the stronk commands, though, so those should be used sparingly.
PRIMARY WEAPON: Shanghai Lance - Burly lance with jabbing ability. Mostly useful as a blunt object, it seems, and intimidation factor. London really likes it, apparently. London shouldn't have sentience, but I can't help but notice the awkward way which it just pauses before it swings this lance.
lots of action, this chapter; a real ACTION FIGHTY chapter
interesting? yes, no? i~'ve never gotten an answer as to how much action interests someone because for me it's always also kinda wild in how interesting it actually is and how much is glazed over in excitement (partially making me wanna extend this chapter but i dunno)
wrote some FLANDRE AND KOISHI YO; didn't quite get to do what i wanted with them (and i dont mean on the bed), i mean i feel like their interpretations here are in the OKAY territory and not quite in the NAILED IT YO territory
THIS time i'm happy with the yukari i did, but she had to beat me over the head with a broomstick to be able to do it, first
proofreading it like a month later: STILL unhappy with this yukari in ways but it's a better rep of yukari than i normally do… freakin', yukari's so precarious, yo...
her power operates on some level of logic, granted, but she's got a LOTTA LIBERTIES
favorite scene of the chapter is probably the end one by the fire bu~t there were some other good scenes
i have a weird amount of MIXED FEELINGS about this chapter, but i think it's okay
...and after lookin' over it a month later i'm cool with how it turned out! the combat really broke it up a bit, though, not in a bad way, but moreso it makes the chapter feel less full…
combat is so weird when in excess like this
as always, see you all next time!
