(IT'S MATT THE LATT, MANN)
The bell rang as I stepped into the Kourindou, identity mostly concealed by my mask.
...Looking up from his book- oh, Rinnosuke's not here. Alice is behind the counter, apparently sewing the back of a doll. She looks up at me, and raises a brow. "Oh, hello."
"Greetings." I've still got my mask on. I give her a brief wave, before I begin to look at the things like it were a normal store. Only, this store uses piles more often than it does shelves, apparently…
"...Just don't steal anything. I'll know." Alice immediately assumes I'll steal things.
To emphasize her point, a myriad of dolls poke their heads out from around corners, gaps in furniture, and the piles of things. They go back into hiding a second later.
"...Are you trying to sell me goods, or send me running for the hills?" I know lesser men might not appreciate being threatened by a tiny army of killer dolls.
...When I glance at Alice, she shrugs. "Honestly? I would rather no one came in at all. I'm just here as a favor."
I see. Well, I'll leave her to her devices, then…
Let's see~... there sure is a lot of crap, here. If only my inventory were so expansive… though I'd probably organize it.
Bending down, I stare into a pile. Besides the doll with a tiny lance, there are toasters, t-shirts, and what looks like either coffee makers or blenders in this pile. Most of them are not in suitable condition to be decoration, let alone used.
Hmm.
I'm looking for a barrel… perhaps a gun barrel of some kind. A grip would be nice, as well. I highly doubt I'll find both, here.
"Looking for anything in particular?" Alice questions me, probably wanting me to get the heck out already.
I stand up straight. "Yes, actually. Does this store carry any… rifle barrels, or firearm grips?"
...Alice pauses, before looking away. Then, she looks back at me. "Technically. We have three, but one's not for sale. We have two barrels, then. Same for grips, kinda."
Ah.
Promptly, some dolls float out from the back of the store. Two dolls are working together to carry out what looks like an AK-47, and two other dolls came with some assorted, wonky-looking barrel parts.
Well, then.
I point at the AK-47. "How much?"
Alice shakes her head. "The gun doesn't work. It didn't work since the last guy who had it used it on Suika. He's not alive anymore."
...Oh.
...Alice had the dolls put down the gun on the counter. "I'm not sure what she did to it, but Rinnosuke said it'd probably never fire again without the kappa's assistance."
Bah. "The barrel works fine, yes?"
Alice stares at me blankly. "...I guess."
...I probably shouldn't've expected her to know.
I pick up the gun, and-...
It loudly clatters, as some of the inner mechanical parts fall out of the empty clip slot. Good gun. I suppose the barrel could be used for something…
"Alright." I nod. "How much?"
...Alice stares into the air for a moment, before looking back into where my eyes most likely are. "Five thousand yen." She probably just guessed the price.
I tilt my head. "Really? Looks more like three thousand yen, to me…"
"Five thousand yen." Alice monotones.
...Hmm. "Genuinely? Well, you see-"
"I see that it's made of steel and complex machinery." Alice retorts, raising her voice a little. "I had thought that a price as low as five thousand yen would make you buy it right away, and get out of my face. If you wanted, I could always charge more. Fifty thousand yen would be a good price."
Alright, alright. I hold up a hand. "Alright. My apologies."
...Reaching into my bag, I take out the required five thousand yen, and set it out on the counter.
"All yours." Alice takes the yen, and slides the nonfunctional gun over to me.
"My appreciations." I give her a nod, and slip the AK-47 into my backpack, before moving towards the door.
The bell rings as I leave the shop. Purchased an entire AK-47 with flushed out insides. Good financial decision.
/ / / / what if a fluffle just HEADBUTTED YOU / / / /
I don't intend on returning to the village, as of present. With my ability to slip and slide like a maniac, I should be able to avoid most confrontations with youkai in the wild… and anything that tries to speak with me and deceive me can simply be jumped.
As such, I've decided to scale that huge mountain that's been in the backdrop this entire time. Worst comes to worst, I can just use my sliding scissors to continuously slip down the mountain, or something.
There's got to be something of interest on it. I've great doubt that a mountain that big is featureless, to any extent. Especially with how much random crap is in the woodlands all around Gensokyo.
If I'm going to trek aimlessly into the woods, it may as well be the biggest mountain in the nearby area. Go big or go home.
I take my first steps off the Hakurei trail, and start proceeding into the woods around the Hakurei shrine.
…
After some minutes of walking, I come to a large plain. I can see the forest that serves as the base of the mountain from here. If this is going to be my entire trip, it might be very dull.
…
Promptly, as I step past some particularly lush patches of grass, fairies spring up from the taller portions.
"Hehehe~!" A stout, blond fairy twirls into the air, swinging around a large sunflower. Two fairies with similar hair colors and dresses float out behind her. They look down at me, before simply floating away, giggling to each other.
...Hmm. Usually they're more annoying than that.
I focus my eyes back ahead of me, only to see one of the fairies now in my way, despite the three flying off earlier. There we go.
"Wha~tcha do~in', mister?" She tilts to the right, until she's standing on one leg, trying to keep her balance.
"...Walking." I inform her.
"How la~me…" She stands upright again, frowning at me. "All you youkai do is walk and walk and walk and walk. And eat."
"How about I show you the wonders of walking?" I ask her. "As you trek down to Hell."
Abruptly, she darts back and into the air, anticipating an attack. "Ehehehe~! Danmaku fight, danmaku fi~ght!" She aims her sunflower at me.
I hold up my hand to block the danmaku.
The sunflower begins to glow. Then, it fires a beam. FwiChoo~m!
The beam engulfs my hand, which I thankfully did not hold over my face.
Also, ouch. Now I'm going to feel like I have arthritis all day. Looking menacing by stopping attacks with your hand definitely does not work in real life.
"Hahaha~!" The fairy rolls in the air, laughing. "I-I~... I can't believe that worked! Ha~haha~!"
And now she's pissing me off. She was doing so well, too.
I slip my hand into my pocket, and draw Chaos Oath. I don't plan to activate it, but I should be able to stab this fairy while it's having a ball.
'...didn't even attempt to dodge, as if losing all hope to a simple fairy...'
Oh, good. My own weapon is berating me now. If it gave me the power to fly like Reimu, then maybe we could talk danmaku dodging.
Running forward quickly, I jab the 'blade' portion of the scissors into the fairy, into her side.
Her eyes widen. "Wha-"
The tendrils start spreading-
Pi~chun!
...All that's left is a wireframe of tendrils around where the fairy used to be. It falls to the ground like a tumbleweed as it turns to wood, and begins slowly rolling away…
...I watch it roll into the woods, hitting one of the border trees. It shatters into dust on impact, vaporizing.
Well, then.
'...as sturdy as your wit...'
Time to sheathe this thing, since it wants to sleep so badly.
Putting away Chaos Oath, I move across the plain once more…
…
/ / / / CAN WE EAT SOME LOAVES / / / /
Youkai Mountain has started to show signs of incline, and therefore, signs that it is in fact a mountain. This is good; it means I didn't wind up in purgatory on the way.
What I do not see, however, is the youkai. The village always spoke so ominously of this place… and yet it underestimated the mansion. The irony is palpable.
Stepping up a steep section of conveniently shaped rocks, I came around the side of a boulder on my way up the mountain…
Once I'm onto higher ground, I come face to face with a masked individual, dressed in a white and blue suit. The suit is ripped up, and the individual has a white, smiling mask. A brief glance reveals that in its sleeve is a long, rusty blade of some kind, under his palm.
It gives me a nod, before moving up the mountainside itself.
...Oh.
The bushes rustle behind it, and three similarly clad individuals with masks and suits come out. One is holding a bow with a flaming arrow, and another has dual rusty swords. The last is seemingly unarmed. They've all got various random masks on, and very unkempt formal attire.
I may have walked into the twilight zone. It is a good thing I happen to be dressed for the occasion.
The twigs rustle above the trees, and when I look up, I see a woman with long flowing hair floating behind them. Her mask was glowing a neon blue, red pinprick eyes darting around to examine the world around herself. She didn't so much as spare me a glance as she floated behind the other masked individuals, occasionally dipping down to stay beneath the treetops.
Her long kimono broke many branches and twigs as it swept past, yet the floral design and rich reds remained the same.
…
Well, that's nice. They're moving up the mountain, so I suppose I'll follow behind them… loosely.
'...just your style, pretty on the outside but pathetic on the inside...'
This can still talk while sheathed?... Maybe it'll shut up if I keep ignoring it.
...As I follow behind them, I eventually notice more of them on the steep inclines, walking up the more unreasonable portions with little problem. There's actually a sizable number of them.
If it means I don't get lynched by wild youkai, this is fine.
Something thin and white whizzes by me. I almost mistake it for me just seeing things in the wilderness, but then I look to my left.
There was a masked individual following behind me, apparently. It was lying on the ground now, its mask punctured in the middle by an arrow with white, black, and red feathers. Blood pooled on the ground around it, and its mask was almost entirely cracked.
...This is going to be more trouble than I bargained for, I take it.
Looking ahead, I quickly take to a nearby tree for cover. In a moment, I see two people with white hair and animal ears touch down from above, both wielding huge steel blades with one hand, and a round shield in the other.
The blades within various masked individuals' robes extended, revealing themselves to be longer than they revealed.
"You think you're bad, maskie!?" A female tengu warrior yells out, holding her shield high as one of the masked beings charged her.
The being moved so fast that its movements were a violent blur-
Cli~ng! Its blade hit the shield.
Shi-crack!
The tengu's steel blade goes through the suited being with one jab, piercing the torso and spine entirely. The blade's curvature allows her to rip it back-
Shink! The being's body goes flying, before limply smacking against a tree, dropping unceremoniously to the ground.
This is not a good place to be, right now.
Cli~ng! The other tengu grunt, this one a male, guarded an uneven dagger with his blade. Baring his teeth, he slowly brought the blade forward-
Thud. The masked person was pushed to the ground by the force of the tengu's struggle. Exerting more force, the tengu eventually brought his blade into the youkai's torso, slowly slicing into it just by exerting force.
...As I use my dash scissors to dart to adjacent trees, I quickly notice grey, blob-like things moving around them, as well. They slide around the tree trunks, and similarly dart around trees.
One stopped on the ground before an adjacent masked assassin, and once the grey unfurled, it was revealed to be a fluffle with big grey boots and big grey boxing fins.
Okay.
The masked being brought its blade forward abruptly, stabbing into the person-sized fluffle. The fluffle responded by pushing the masked individual with both finns, sending it flailing backwards. On a dime, however, it kicked its feet into the ground and jumped away, flying above the trees-
Woo-woo-woosh.
A barrage of arrows came from seemingly nowhere, sending the masked being flying like a ragdoll.
...The fluffle turns its attention to me, and runs forward, rolling its fin back repeatedly like it wanted to power punch me.
I just slid away. Let's not do that.
Sliding horizontally around the mountain- as sliding up inclines didn't usually go well for me- I eventually come to a single tengu swordsman being bombarded by fluffles.
"Gua~h…!?" She slid back on the ground, pushed by a fluffle's fins. She got back onto her feet, only for the fluffle behind her to push her forward, sending her on her stomach, sliding towards the next fluffle. That fluffle proceeded to push her again when she tried to get back up, sending her sliding on her back again.
Eager to break the cycle, she stabbed her blade into the ground, and used her arms to propel herself into the air. Once she landed on the floor, the fluffles leapt and all stomped the floor at the same time-
Boom!
A shockwave spread out, and I ended up getting slammed into a tree. Curiously, I slid rapidly downward onto my back… which served to be little more than inconvenient for me, since I was nothing's focus at the moment. The tengu, however, was caught in the constant pushing cycle once more.
As fun as this is, I must go.
Sliding again, this time less so, just to make forward progress, I come to another scene that gets in my way.
This time, it was a tengu in what appeared to be bulky riot gear, waving around a square baton at the fluffles. "Scram! Scram!" A female's voice came from the giant black and red suit. "It's all over!"
Her large, gloved hand moved to take a square object off of her waist. "Grena~de!"
She tossed it down before herself, and slowly hobbled backwards, ignoring the many shockwaves and punches the fluffles threw at her-
BOOM
...Loud. One hell of a grenade…
The fluffles seemed to be no more, however. The grenade was simply a flash of green and blue, and left transparent, blue and black flames in its wake that went out nearly instantly afterwards.
The riot geared tengu turned to me. "You picked a bad day, masky!"
No. Let's not.
Sliding away and ignoring the tengu riot officer, I continue to slowly trek my way up the accursed mountain, expending my endurance to slide around to avoid the ensuing carnage on the mountain.
/ / / / ARE YOU ONNA DOSE LOUSY X-MEN / / / /
Life is rough.
Alright. A few things…
I did not anticipate this mountain to be this big before I climbed it.
I also did not anticipate navigating Gensokyo War Two, or whatever that was.
...That all sucked. I hardly had time to consider the shacks scattered about, or the various ruins, or anything of the sort. It was just all-out, three-way war.
However, I have progressed to a point beyond the fighting. I have… ascended, to a higher ground. As in, I've literally gone high enough that it doesn't matter now. Contrary to my expectations, the tengu haven't built their stronghold on top of the mountain like sane conquerors.
...In hindsight, that'd probably be pretty terrible during storms. Hmm. Especially considering the storms this place apparently gets.
I'm almost at the top of the mountain. I expected more shortness of breath, and insane mountain youkai that didn't need oxygen, but apparently Gensokyo handles air differently. Hmm.
This high up, not taking the beaten trail would result in pain and suffering, in the form of expert rock climbing being a prerequisite. Everyone knows how that goes: rocks fall, everyone dies. Sun goes out, universe undergoes heat death, so forth.
Coming up the still fairly steep mountain path, I come across a flat clearing that houses a shrine. This shrine's decorations are blue, as opposed to Reimu's red, though it still looks shinto in origin.
...I suppose I shall make an impression.
Moving forward, and stepping up the few steps, I reach the shrine door.
Knock knock. Being polite, and all.
…
Knock knock.
…
Knock knock. Do they not care about their shrine this much? I'm starting to believe no one is home, today.
Taking it upon myself, I slide the door open.
There is a rectangular room before me, smaller than Reimu's main room. A kotatsu sits in the middle of the room, with a blue design.
Under the kotatsu is a mature woman, with long, braided blue hair. She has her eyes closed, apparently resting sitting up.
...How quaint.
…
I begin to step towards her.
"O~h…?" She lazily turned to me. "...O~h." Slowly, she turned back to her previous position, and closed her faded blue eyes again. "...Say. Do you know where the Moriya goddesses are? I wanted to ta~lk…"
"Not a clue." Genuinely.
"Aa~h."
…
Slowly, she takes a deep breath. She inhales for a whole thirty seconds.
…
She exhales for thirty seconds, too. Why did I watch her do that?
Reaching into my pocket, I draw Chaos Oath.
'...don't. you will die…'
Says you.
Slowly, I begin to march up behind the woman, raising the scissors…
Then, I begin choking. "Gagh- kauf, kauf…" Air refuses to enter my lungs. That's inconvenient.
"Ka- a-ah…" My eyes begin to water, and I reach for my throat- hastily pocketing the scissors first- but then-
"Haa~h…" Oxygen feels good after you nearly die.
...Once I wipe the tears from my eyes, I look at the kotatsu, only to see the woman seated at the opposite end, now.
"I don't know your business with the Moriya~..." She smiles at me, her eyes still closed. "But don't draw something so obviously evil around me. Especially behind my back…" She opened one eye. "It'd be unfortunate if you forgot to breathe. Everyone deserves such an amazing luxury…"
Closing her eye, she began to stretch. "Ha~h… I know I love to breathe."
I would love for you to stop breathing, but it seems that won't be happening. How unfortunate.
Well, if she doesn't stop me from exploring, and- by extension- looting, I'll be fine.
Progressing deeper into the shrine, I slide a door open. Moving down the interior hallway, I eventually come to a room with a large, western bed. Across the bed is a-...
A television. Flatscreen.
What.
...Moving to investigate this perplexing anomaly, I go around the television…
Under the stand the television is on, seems to be a game console. Playstation.
Behind the television is many cords, and… a surge protector. What is this modern technology…? Have I stepped into a stereotypical household?
If so… hmm. This might be worth trudging through the great mask-tengu-fluffle war after all.
I shall take the surge protector. It will go to a good cause. It takes a moment, but I unplug everything.
It is now mine. Anyway…
Oh, right. There's a dresser here, too. Curiously, I go up to it, and open the bottom drawer…
Socks. In the bottom drawer. They really must be gods to put up with that.
Next drawer up… is skirts. There's some dresses in here, too. Boring.
Next drawer. Tops and things, along with bras. Interesting.
Top drawer, panties. Also, some ribbons and curious other accessories… like belts and such. What exactly… was I expecting from a dresser?
Leaving it where it is, I move out of the room, and into the hall, and take another door.
This room is largely empty. Some talismans rest in the corner, abandoned.
...Closing the door, I move to the last room accessible from this hallway. Sliding the door open, I step inside…
I did not expect this from what I assume is a shrine maiden's room.
The western bed across the room is tidy… but right across from it is a table covered with crap. Stepping up to the table, I look it over…
Volumes of manga, modern commodities like tissues, paper towels, so forth littered the table. There was also a bunch of produced snacks… such as Goldfish crackers.
Finally, my eyes rested on the computer setup.
This shrine has a computer.
I walk over to it…
...After a moment, I turn the tower and the monitor on, and sit before it. It feels slightly alien, as I've not often used desktops, haven't sat at a proper desk to compute often, and haven't done it inside the paper walls of a shinto shrine. Even so, it's not really that different.
...Once the computer is booted, it goes to the login screen. Oh, boy.
...I just press 'enter'. That doesn't work, apparently.
'1234'. Nope.
...Who owns this? It, hmm… 'moriya'. Not it.
'god'. Didn't think so.
'password'.
…
Oh. Okay. Didn't think I was getting in, but it seems I was mistaken.
...Once the computer starts up, I watch it initialize. Whoever used this seems to have a desktop background of giant robots.
There's a shortcut to Steam on the desktop. However, I wait…
There we go. Steam's auto-login popped up, as it usually does when habitually used on computers. Let's see who was on this last…
...ZephyrPriestess. Huh.
...Ignoring that, I open Chrome to a private tab, and log into Steam myself from there. I open an old chat with Brad that I had, the one before I got dragged into this hellhole.
The history depicted a snippet of our previous conversation.
TOYSIPO2: wadda ya want, yukari EMERGING FROM A GAP and me freakin POINTING A PLANT HANGER AT HER?
Krocostar: THAT WOULD BE NICE
TOYSIPO2: consider it done, yo- whenever ai freakin find yukari again
TOYSIPO2: aw dood, ai should tape a danmaku battle
Krocostar: well if you want
TOYSIPO2: well son see you in liek a week or two- ai dunno when ai can get to hijack kaguya's computer again and ai kinda need to split and do things before she gets here!
Krocostar: well, okay son
Krocostar: i know the nearest mental institution if you ever need it
TOYSIPO2: XD don't die yo
TOYSIPO2: haiv fun
Krocostar: SURE
TOYSIPO2: dunt let the freakin YOUKAI BITE
...Right. I now wish that I attempted to refer him to a mental institution.
For the hell of it, I reply.
Krocostar: gensokyo's fun son
Krocostar: i've been almost killed about twenty times now
Krocostar: i blame you
…
Whelp, time to load this computer with viruses.
Closing the private tab, I open a regular one. Let's see… I search for 'Bonzi Buddy'.
Surprisingly few links feel like coughing up the malware, but it's only a matter of minutes before the installation is complete.
"Hello friend! I am BonziBuddy, your guide to the internet. As we browse, discover, and explore the internet together, our friendship will grow, and I will learn more about you!" It speaks.
...This is probably the worst thing I've ever done.
"I can also set up calendars, tell jokes, bring you the news, and even tell you the weather!" It lists its sins.
Please, no. I almost feel remorse for whomever this poor individual's computer is.
'...what are you doing, cretin...'
Hacking into the mainframe, obviously. Just like how all professional hackers do it- play the keyboard like a guitar and slam it on the desk repeatedly.
Instead of doing that, however, I google another term. 'free cool toolbars'.
...First three results are Softonic. This is gonna be good.
/ / / / UH OH / / / /
There are now so many toolbars that I cannot see the window properly. This browser is now well-prepared for any situation.
I've also changed the computer's default font to Comic Sans.
...Interestingly, however, on my search for Touhou backgrounds, I figured out that I couldn't search for Touhou anything on this computer. Hmm.
Guess I'll just put hentai on, instead… actually, no, a slideshow. A slideshow of hentai images, mixed with random pictures of Donald Trump. Donald Trump hentai images.
This computer has been improved significantly. Before I go, I make sure to throw on a youtube video, 'Fred Fuckstone Goes Nuclear', and turn it to max. Oh, I have to unplug the speakers, too…
"AAUUOO~GH- E~y, it's the guy from Boston, baby- and today I'm serious! I'm fuckin', ten times worse than AIDs!"
It's loud. I won't bother to transcribe the rest of the noise, but be rest assured that the shrine now sounds like a ceiling shaking shouting match.
Getting up from the desktop, I look around the room again. There doesn't seem to be terribly much useful, here…
...Except for this bag of Goldfish. Those are now mine.
Going back, I quickly make sure Fred Fuckstone is on repeat…
"I suck, large elephant dicks!"
Yeah, yeah. The volume's starting to irritate me, so I scram.
Within moments, I'm back in the main room.
The breathing god is looking around, bewildered. "Wh-what's going o~n…!?"
Fred Fuckstone, and he's going nuclear.
Without bothering to reply to her, I calmly walk out of the shrine. From there, I keep going a short distance…
I can still hear it from many, many feet away. "You're all fuckin', suckin' cock! Worst of all you're ugly!"
...That looting yielded less loot than I thought it would.
Distancing myself from the shrine, I continue up the mountain out of curiosity.
It takes about ten minutes for me to reach the very top of the mountain, where there is a flat section of rock.
In the midst of this platform is a fluffle stand. A woman with long blue hair and a straw hat adorned with a couple peaches was standing at it, staring at a selection of swords with a hand to her chin…
Stepping up alongside her, I look over the selection of blades, as well. They were all vibrant colors, for the most part, save a few.
"This." She held up a cyan one, which shimmered, as if the blade was pure energy. "What is it?"
"the sword of windy gusts" The fluffle announces. "it casts wind elemental shockwaves on swing! replaces scarlet energy charging with wind elemental magic and weather manipulation is limited to strictly wind control"
...She tilts her head. "La~me. I can already summon gales… kinda."
Putting it down- a mystery considering the blade is of energy- she picks up another one. "And this? What is this?"
"the sword of equinox" It defines. "randomly speeds up or slows down enemies when cut by it! weather control is replaced by day and night switching and scarlet energy charging instead allows storing of time energy"
...She furrows her brows. "That's even worse. That-... I don't even do time magic."
Taking the time blade, she holds it over the floor, charges it with energy, and drops it. It promptly falls through the Earth, and the fluffle just watches it go, its smile momentarily hidden as it stares at the new slit in the mountaintop.
…
"can we be friends" The fluffle requests, smiling again.
"No." She promptly lifts another blade. "Ne~xt. What's this?"
The blade was intricately curved, and glowing instead of being almost purely energy. "sword of mother earth" Tilting its head, the fluffle continued. "instead of weather control it lets you instantly grow trees" ...It looked down at the blade. "it can also be charged with wood energy"
...She sighs. "Wood energy. What-... what kind of element is wood?"
"wood" The fluff is a banquet of knowledge, to be certain.
...Making a strained face, she reaches into a pocket. "Alright, how much?"
It gives its outrageous price. "seven hundred fifty thousand yen"
"Deal." ...What.
She just pulls out the yen like it's nothing. Big bills. Wow. "Here." She sets it down on the table.
The fluffle hands over the blade. "here friend"
...Well.
She steps away, taking a few practice swings with it.
...I properly align myself ahead of the fluffy menace.
"hi friend" It pushes the swords off the table and into oblivion, spreading a selection of scissors for me. "take your pick"
There are a variety of fruity colored scissors before me. I see the black scissors that I had set my eyes on before here, as well… along with some new ones.
My eyes cross a familiar yellow pair. The blade shimmers unnaturally in the mountain's light, the handle itself seemingly composed of a more solid material.
I bring my hand near it, only for live sparks on the surface to flare up and begin to stretch towards my hand. As such, I'm forced to retract it…
There's a blue pair of scissors here, as well. They were here last time, too. It seems to be leaking water. The handle proper is curiously bulbous, and the blade itself is too dull for being useful. It looks more decorative than anything.
Although, this new pair here catches my eye… briefly. It looks like an oversized pair of blue and orange safety scissors, the edges completely blunt. It seems too big to hold like a normal pair of scissors.
...I point at it, since it doesn't seem very self explanatory. "What is this?"
"guardian scissors!" The fluffle smiles widely. Ech… "a disc expands around it the more friends are in your party! you can use it as a shield like that" It looks to the side, staring at nothing. "the more friends you have helping you the more abilities it grants you"
Sounds completely useless.
"it also increases the likelihood of team limit breaks!" It raises its fins.
...There's also a pair of neon red scissors, here. The blades themselves are as thin as needles, making them seemingly useless as actual scissors. The handles are tiny balls, and have no loops to fit fingers in.
I point at it. "What might this be?"
...Taking a moment, the fluffle gets very close to it, before shifting back away. "persuasion seeker scissors"
...Interesting name.
"when filled with mana, allows user to briefly glimpse a glimmer of light that reveals the position of nearby enemies" It elaborates. "it can also send out a magical projectile that shatters guarding stances and defense!"
...As fun as that sounds, it's probably expensive.
"Prices." I ask. "All of them."
The fluffle climbs onto the desk itself. "honh"
…
"lightning scissors are seven thousand yen" It begins. "water scissors are six thousand yen, guardian scissors are twenty thousand yen, persuasion seeker scissors are twenty thousand yen"
…
I point at the fluffle. "How much are you worth?"
It walks across the desk, approaching me. "hug"
Perturbed, I push it back behind the counter. No.
'...stop wasting time having love affairs with dust mites...'
...Holding out Chaos Oath, I ask the fluffle a question. "Hey. How much will you pay me for this?"
It tilts its head a little. "four million sixty-five thousand eight hundred seventy-three yen"
"Okay. Deal." I try to hand over the scissors-
Tendrils lash out from it, the weapon attaching itself to my arm.
The fluffle gets up to grab it, but a tendril shoots out and beheads it, turning it into a cloud of sand instantly.
'...do not dare overstep your boundaries, human...'
...I see. Well, the fluffle is dead, now.
...Looking to the side, the blue-haired woman from before seems to be staring at me intently.
Once my gaze pans back to the stand, there is another fluffle. "hi friend im chelsea"
Right. "I would like to purchase the lightning and water scissors." They could be of good use… and they are also inexpensive.
...The tendrils slowly spread up my arm, forcing me to draw the blessed scissors and snip one manually again, before the rest retract, allowing me to sheathe them both properly.
"thatll be thirteen thousand yen friend" It held out a fin. "gimme"
...I gave it the funds, as I sheathed the water scissors, making sure they were at the bottom of my backpack's most disconnected pockets… lest they soak everything.
The lightning scissors, though…
"Do you have rubber gloves?" I request of the animated tragedy.
"no" Its smile is obscured.
…
Taking the fluffle, I press its face into the electric scissors.
…
There's a gradual buzzing noise under the fluffle. It fluctuates mildly, before-
...The fluffle slowly started to burn.
"Waaaa~l!" It got up, leapt off the stand, and fled. Good riddance.
...I turn to the blue-haired girl. "Hey. Magic girl." I gesture to the scissors. "What do."
She steps up leisurely, her arms folded. "Hmm~..." She grabs the scissors, electricity running up her arm briefly. "...Wow. Really weak current. You seriously bothered by this?"
"Yes, yes I am." I confirm. Electricity is bad for fleshy humans.
...She nodded. "You could trap it in a crystallized bubble, or something. Or a rubber case…"
"All of which I have easy access to, surely." I remark.
...Dryly, she rolls her eyes. "Alright, smartass. I'd suggest wood, but the way this thing conducts, it'd be able to catch it."
...I don't think that's how wood and electricity interact.
Holding up the pair, the blue-haired woman rubs her fingers across it repeatedly-
Fwoom. Her hand catches on fire.
"See?" She holds it up so that I can see the electricity repeatedly buzzing into her hand. I have to look away from the bright flashes.
I fold my arms. "How about you try to capture it in wood, then?" She did just buy that wood master sword, or whatever.
Waving her hand to ward off the flames, she held her new sword high in her other hand. "Alright, whatever. Let's see~... if I charge it normally, and do this…" She stabs the sword into the floor below.
Crack! A tree materialized halfway into her.
...Awkwardly, she tore herself from the tree's bark-
Craa~ck!
It shattered and toppled, the malformed tree not making too much of a commotion as it slams against the nearby rock.
"Oo~h." She smiles widely. "Kinda stupid, but whatever!"
Next, she taps her blade on the rock before herself.
Cra-crack. Two tiny shrubs materialized before her, lined up neatly.
"So…" Kneeling, the woman put the electric scissors on the rock. Backing up, she tapped the floor before it-
Crack. A tiny shrub formed where the scissors were.
Leaning over, she plucked the shrub from the floor, and handed it to me. "Here you go."
That works. I suppose I'll have to find some rubber gloves before I burn it open. As such, I accept the tiny shrub from her, and begin to stuff it into my backpack...
"So…" She smirks at me. "You seem interesting, even if you don't seem like a fight."
I nod. "That is because… I am a totally normal human."
She snorts. "You have tentacle scissors."
...This mask I'm wearing probably doesn't do me any favors, either.
"You're kinda talky for a mask youkai." She notes, raising a brow. "Normally they're unintelligible, perverted, or just rude. You can't just be normal."
"This is where you are wrong." I insist. "I am normal."
She rolls her eyes. "Well, you do sound like an asshole, so you've got that going for you." It is indeed my most admirable quality.
Folding her arms, she stands firmer than before. Her wood sword… desummons, or something. "Hit me."
...The only question is with what.
Moving up to her, curious, I punch her in the face.
…
I seem to be more injured than she is, though. It's like I punched a wall. She didn't so much as flinch… or blink.
"...Was that a practice punch?" She tilted her head. "I didn't feel it."
"Nope." I shake my head. "Completely normal."
...She whistles. "Wow. How the hell did you get up here?"
"I walked." I reveal.
She rolls her eyes at that. "Well no shit. I was just wondering how you got past the tengu and dust mites, unless the masks really cut a line up the mountain or something."
"They died." Elaboration. "Horrible deaths."
...Gradually, her expression grew drier and drier. "You're not very helpful, you know."
"Helping isn't in my nature." Adjusting my backpack, I get myself ready to move again. "Got people to see and things to… see."
She snorts. "Alright. See ya." ...With that, she continues to stand there, watching me.
...Alright, then. Sliding down the mountain should be leagues easier than trudging up it.
'...quite the silver tongue, already covered in red...'
Yeah, sure.
Taking out my sleek black scissors, I begin my trek down the mountain… but first I'll get to a less steep vantage point. If I began sliding now, I'd probably break my everything and die from how steep it is.
/ / / / A'N I'M THE MAN 'OO'S 'ONNA BURN DIS PLACE TA THA GROU~ND / / / /
The rush down the mountain is a fast blur of attempting to dodge the insane action going on between the three factions of the mountain. On occasion, one might be able to see local youkai such as wolfmen, spiders, or other such creatures getting in on the action.
Once I'm far enough down the mountain to safely consider myself out of tengu archer range, I stop sliding, allowing my balance to catch up with me…
By that, I mean I slide onto my rear, but that's a fair price to pay for not getting an iron-tipped arrow to the back of my skull.
...At the same time, I'm not too sure how far down the mountain I am. There's still an incline, but it might be the base of it…
Raising from the floor, walking forward, passing some trees- oh, hello.
My eyes spot rather quaint shacks… made of metal. More like small houses.
There's a path ahead of me, and all along this path are green and blue metal structures. A river runs across the midst of the path- a small one- and there's a wide bridge that goes across it to make the path consistent.
Various stout beings are moving about the path, some having set up mats with inventories on them. Others go back and forth between the structures, and they've all got various utilitarian suits on and colorful hair.
...Walking into the village, I look down at one mat, where a kappa with neon green hair sits. Before him are various metal blocks of different shapes and sizes.
...He looks up at me when I approach. "Hey, hey, masky, scat. I don't sell stuff to people under an IQ of ten."
Good person. "You wanna die?"
…
In one fluid motion, the kappa draws a thick, boxy gun from his backpack. "Hey, asshole. You should be lucky we're all busy, else we'd be using you for target practice. 'Course, that can change if you do your usual mask bullshit in here."
"What if I said…" I begin. "I am not a mask youkai?"
"You'd be lying." He jerks his gun towards me. "Go, go."
...Oh, well. He doesn't seem to have any wares of value, anyway. Just… metal blocks.
As I back away, he puts away his gun, watching me leave with heavy suspicion.
Most of the kappa ignore me, doing whatever it is they're doing, while others just give me stares, either of distrust or impatience.
...A purple-haired one passes me, carrying a crate. I turn to it. "You wanna die?"
...She slowly accelerates with her movement, before slowing down once far enough away from me.
I turn to a nearby kappa who is looking down at a clipboard. She's got pink hair. "How about you, you wanna die?"
She gives me a tired glance, before reaching into her pocket-
Pow! I move to the side just quick enough to not get shot in the gut by a rather quaint pocket pistol.
"Cool it, mask." She twirls the pistol, before pocketing it. "Why don't ya step back a little more? Like, from us and our machines? Wait- actually…" Pausing, she looks around, furrowing her brows. "Damn it, what the hell're those sentries doing?"
...I follow her gaze. To my surprise, some of the trees have scaffolding that leans off their sides. On each platform of scaffolding is a twin rotating barrel sentry gun, sitting still. There seem to be about five sentries from just where I can see.
Then, I hear them all beep. Looking around, I see a kimono-clad, flying mask woman begin to approach the village-
Ratatatatatatatat!
Blue bullet-shaped danmaku pellets maul her from all sides, and within moments she glides softly to the floor, skidding on it, her masked face eating the dirt. When she stopped still, her body was sprawled out in the midst of the bazaar's path. The sentries took a moment to stop drilling into her with danmaku.
...Kappa just moved around her, although a few walked over her to get to things they needed to.
"Well, they're workin' alright…" The kappa looks back and forth between me, the sentries, and the woman.
I wave at her. "Hi."
...She sighs. "Well, whatever ya are, we're busy here. Don't go around playing stupid jokes, or you'll get shot."
"Who said it was a joke?" I tilt my head.
...In return, I get a dry stare. "Alright, where ya want the bullet? Up your ass, or in your skull?"
"Quick and painless, please." I request.
'...human, what the hell are you doing...'
She brings up the squirt gun-sized pistol, and begins shooting emerald danmaku at me.
PoPoPoPoPow!
Quickly, I slide down the length of the bazaar, avoiding her pistol shots before too many hit me. She seems to dash in the opposite direction of me, and dart behind a building.
The danmaku hurts, but no one else opens fire, even if all the kappa draw their guns, most of them aiming at the one shooting.
…
The other kappa doesn't come back out of cover. Some put away their guns, and some aim at me. I just do nothing but stand until they reluctantly put away their weapons, and get back to doing whatever it is they're doing.
"Hey, he~y…" A voice comes out from somewhere nearby. I look around curiously…
Slowly, the form of a blue-haired kappa with blue clothing and a green hat materializes. "Hey, mask, look, I don't know how you made the sentries stop targeting you, but you rea~lly gotta leave. We're busy making the tengu their anti-fluffle riot suits, and if you stick around too long, someone's going to use you as target practice."
I put it bluntly. "Where can I buy stuff."
...Looking around, possibly making sure no one heard me, she gestures for me to follow. "Let me take you to the storage warehouse I rented out. I've got a lot of good stuff…"
This sounds shady as hell.
I follow the kappa as she moves down the path, and moves up to one of the green and blue, tiny shacks. The door's still big enough to fit me easily, despite the structure looking like it's ten by ten feet in size.
She opens the door, the knob fittingly low enough for her to reach, and pushes it open.
…
It's a lot bigger on the inside.
"C'mon." She gestures for me to follow. I step inside, looking around somewhat apprehensively…
There are machines everywhere. The room itself is a massive expanse of shelves, tables, and various machines of varying technology levels.
While following the kappa girl, I look at the counters closest to the door, which we stop before. On this table alone, there are what look like grenades, a variety of different shotguns, and some kind of rectangular device.
"So~..." She opens a drawer, and pulls out a clipboard. "What are you buying? Or, rather, what do you want?"
"Atomic bomb." I request.
She pouts. "Sorry, we're kinda under contract to not make those. Not that we figured it out, anyway… we got all our blueprints and research material confiscated."
Hmm~... I've had this idea in my mind, about a weapon I wished to create. For it, I will likely need… "Wires, duct tape, a rubber grip, and a rubber glove."
Nodding, she wrote some things down. "...How much wire?"
Uh, hmm. Didn't even think of that.
...After a moment, she speaks up. "It's five hundred yen per half a foot, by the way."
What.
"Duct tape i~s… two thousand yen." She checks something off on her clipboard. What.
"I'd have to ask you how specific you'd want the rubber grip, an~d… rubber gloves, right? Or was it just one?" She looks up at me, eyebrow raised.
"Yes, one rubber glove." I confirm. "Preferably one that won't get melted by lightning."
"Oo~h." She nods once. "I see, then. Five thousand yen." Son.
...I elaborate on the grip. "For the grip, I just want a rough block of rubber, a little over half a foot long."
She smiles. "Oh, okay, can do. One thousand five hundred yen."
Alright… I might need to haggle down these prices. Five thousand yen for a single glove does not sound like a smart investment otherwise.
"So, the wires…" I bring up the absurd price of the wires. Considering my idea, I would need twenty-six feet of wires, give or take. "That price."
She shrugs. "Sorry, one grand per foot is just kinda the business standard we do up here with each other. Wire's not fun to make, you know."
Right… "Well, I wanted twenty-six feet, right? How much would that cost?"
She replies instantly, not even looking like she was doing mental math. "Twenty-six thousand yen."
"Twenty thousand…?" I suggest. "It wouldn't be that much off, all things considered."
...
After a long while, she nods. "Twenty-four. Twenty-four thousand. Because you're not some kappa trying to extort me for my wire. At least, I don't think. For all I know, someone sent you to do that."
Yes. Sent me to buy wire… duct tape… and one glove.
"One thousand." I nod. "A hundred. Ten yen."
She grins. "Anywa~y… any other price disputes? I know you're gonna wanna stop me every step until the price is agreed upon."
"Five thousand yen glove." I stress.
She nods. "You asked for a glove that doesn't melt to electricity. That's how much it costs."
...I fold my arms. "How about… simply thunder resistant?"
Crossing out something on her clipboard, she smiles. "Four thousand yen!"
"Duct tape…" I tilt my head back and forth. "I'll just buy that somewhere else."
She crosses it out on her clipboard, leaning against the counter. "Cool. Alright, so, wire, glove, rubber grip block, got it."
"Hold on." I hold up a hand. "Would you trade any of that…"
I place my backpack on the table, unzip it, and take out the legitimate AK-47. "For this sweet AK?"
Two bolts drop from inside. Quickly, I cover the magazine slot, and hold it out. "This really good AK. For the glove."
She grins. "Alright, lemme see the gun, first."
...I hold it out by the barrel. She moves to take it- Click. She accidentally detaches the barrel from the rest of the gun; as such, I'm left holding the barrel while she has everything else.
...Turning, I put the barrel into my backpack while she just stares at the slowly crumbling base of the AK.
"...Wh-what happened to it…?" She incredulously dropped it onto the counter, where it broke to pieces.
"An oni happened." I confirmed.
Making an 'o' shape with her mouth, she began inspecting the pieces. "...The parts themselves are mostly okay. The magazine slot, though… that's gonna hafta be scrapped, it looks like someone took a hydraulic press to it."
Good for her.
"I'll give ya seven hundred yen for this." She decides. "Seven hundred thirty-four, if ya want the change."
"One thousand." I lay down my terms.
"Fair enough." Nodding, she takes the money from a pocket, and gives it to me directly.
...Good.
"Let me just get your things." She begins to move. "Don't touch anything, or you'll probably die."
I touch the counter. Unfortunately, she doesn't react, moving away into the shelves to get my things.
…
Turning, I look at one of the tall racks loaded with metal blocks. Kappa sure love their metal blocks.
...One of them is slid out of place-
Bam. It hits the floor.
"honh honh" A fluffle stares out from the space where the block was, seemingly having pushed it off with its face.
...The blue-haired kappa runs out, and brings up a clear tube with one open end. "There you are! Come ba~ck!"
"help no" Panicked, the fluffle begins trying to become one with a nearby block, and failing.
Vuu~rr! The tube lights up, a whirlwind generating between it and the fluffle.
"Waaa~l!" Despite its protest, escape from the vortex is futile.
Fwoomp. In a few seconds, the dust mite is encapsulated within the see-through canister.
"waaaal" From inside the canister, it lets out a muffled wail, before fidgeting a little…
…With that, the kappa leisurely walked off with it. "Alri~ght, back to the containment box with you, fluffy."
"help friend please" It began to walk around in a circle inside the tube. "i buy you slovakian king"
...Time to look around and count the ceiling tiles. Oh, there aren't any. Oh no.
/ / / / FLUFF NECESSITIES / / / /
"Alright…" She comes up to me with a small box. "Everything's in here."
Oh, finally. I was about to try and find out if I could sleep with my eyes open while standing.
Accepting the box, I fold the lid open. Inside, I see the roll of wire, the rubber block grip, and a thick, orange glove.
"That'll be~ twenty eight thousand, five hundred yen." She hardly pauses to total the values.
Reaching into my pocket, I take a moment to tally up the right amount of money. Also, ouch. My wallet has taken casualties.
I have twenty two and a half thousand yen left. It's going to a good cause, though. I think.
She smiles, accepting the money hastily, scooping it all into her own pouch. "Tha~nk you! Tell all your friends to shop Nitori!"
"Indeed." I put all the individual things inside the box into my backpack, and leave the clunky box behind.
"Bye!" Nitori- I think- waves at me as I leave.
/ / / / PRETTY PRETTY ABILITIES / / / /
It was now nearly dark again. I've not begun sliding like a maniac again yet, since it takes all the fun out of leisurely strolling on one of the most dangerous mountainsides in Gensokyo. That, and it doesn't feel spectacular, and I'd like to at least get a third of the way to the village before the sun sets and I get chased by kitchen sink youkai.
On my way out of the kappa bazaar… village… thing, my progress is promptly halted.
"Hey, he~y…" Splash!
From a nearby puddle, an entire frog girl leaps out, clad in what seems to be muddy rags. "You're one of them mask youkai, aren't you?"
"Yes." I inform her.
"Cool, cool." She leaps in place. It's actually a rather impressive leap, for something so humanoid… oh. On second glance, her legs are webbed and frog-like. Once she lands, she continues as if she didn't do anything unordinary. "I was wondering if I could get your help with something."
"How much money?" I could use a Phoenix Down, except for wallets.
"...Flat broke." She shrugged sheepishly. "I could get you a date with my friend, though. She likes dark and quiet types."
"Who's your friend?" I ask. "What youkai is she?"
"Oh, she's a cave harpy." The frog girl reveals. "...Well, she does earth magic, but she's a harpy… so she's a cave harpy."
A cave harpy.
"I mean…" Looking to the side, the frog girl grins. "She lives in a cave, too. Not many youkai can say that same, you know."
...Right.
"Sure." I agree. "A date it is."
"But first!" Holding out a finger, the frog girl smirks. "You gotta do something for me. I know you mask guys are good at stealth, so I want you to pull some pranks for me."
Pranks, huh. Just some pranks… bro.
"I want you to find some friends of mine- Rira and Sakiko- and surprise them." The frog girl instructs me. "I don't care how you do it. I wanna see them shaken up, 'cause they've been on their high horse lately."
Surprise them. Boo.
Once again, she hops, catching admirable air. "One's a titanium spider youkai, and the other's a bird girl. If you can do it in the next few days, that'd be good."
"Where would I find them?" I inquire, examining her.
"Oh, right. The bird girl, Rira, she's got a nest in the trees to the right of the sunflower field, off the path that passes by it." ...Hunching onto her legs like a proper frog, she leaps again. When she lands, she's in proper posture again. "...Sakiko is in the caves. If you go down from the incident entrance- the one the miko used- it'd be, uhm… left, left, right, at the turns. You seem serious enough to handle the underground youkai."
Does she ever shut up? "Explain in ten words or less." I request.
...Dryly, she rolls her eyes. "Sakiko, caves. Rira, north village path, sunflowers, and you suck."
Well, if you're going to insult me… "You could get to sucking right now if you want."
…
She sighs. "You kno~w, on second thought…" She leaps back a bit. "One card. If I win, you do those pranks. If you win, you get that date."
...Did she make this more trouble for me? It seems she made things more troublesome.
"I got a better proposal."
I slip out Chaos Oath. "If I lose, I do it like normal. If I win, however, you're coming with me too."
...She furrows her brows. Before she replies, I speak. "...Or you could just die."
...Leaping back a bit more, she smirks. "O~h? So that's how you like it… one card it is, then!"
Standing resolutely, I wait for her to make her move…
"Leaping Sign!" She licks her lips. "Wave Pond!"
As her spell card's name suggests, she leaps high into the air, above the trees. Backing up, I retreat towards a tree as she lands.
Spla~sh! Despite landing on dead leaves, danmaku seems to splash out of the floor, green and blue bullets rushing into the air and raining down all around her.
I begin to fill Chaos Oath with mana as usual to activate it…
Jumping again, the frog girl positions herself to land on me from above…
…
This is taking more effort than usual. Glancing down from the incoming frog girl, I look at my arm.
'...you will now serve me, human… just as you have decided...'
Tendrils are running up my arm, dark energy slowly creeping up along with it, folding over my flesh. "Back. No." I use my free hand to take out the blessed scissors, and bring it up to cut the tendrils as I back up...
Once again, I feel my muscles begin to fluctuate with power, making it hard for me to move the blessed scissors properly. As I back up, my legs do some cartoony nonsense as I get used to the new amount of force my muscles utilize...
While I'm struggling with the scissors- "Hello~!" The frog girl lands before me, green and yellow danmaku splashing up from the floor, this time.
Despite some painful pellets of danmaku slamming into me from below, I throw myself at her and jab the scissors into her shoulder.
"Ah…!?" Her playful smirk freezes, and her eyes widen.
Exerting force, I continue to shove the blade into her, my new strength allowing me to rend her flesh-... scratch that, the force makes me send her sliding to the floor instead of tearing through her. I'd have thought her legs would be strong enough to keep this from happening- frog and all- but apparently not.
"O-oow!" She yells out. "Yo-you idiot! Get off!" Gritting her teeth, her remaining danmaku dissipates as she claws at my scissor arm with long nails.
They conflict with the tendrils, which promptly spread onto her arm.
"Wh-what… what the hell!?" She tries to tug her arms away unsuccessfully.
Focusing on her grows difficult. My leg goes up, and stomps down on her thigh. It was contorting in ways that might be awkward for a human, likely trying to get a good basis for her to get back up.
"Augh!" The force of my stomp makes her cry out, but I can't see her face. "As-asshole! Why!?"
My body moves, the arm with blessed scissors in grasp also grabbing one of her arms, and yanking on it-
Crack. "O-ooww~! A-auh!"
My vision dims, and my body feels like it's shaking. Between the frog girl's skin tone and the dim browns of the forest floor, everything's a blur…
I stop, or try to. Despite how apt this power rush feels, the slowly easing pain of my body tells me that something's wrong. Very wrong, actually.
…
Jerking my left arm, the one holding the blessed scissors, I strain myself to bring it closer to my right arm of my own will.
"Aah- aah! Aaa~h! Haau~hh!" There's some yelling or something. It's not me, so whatever.
Like this, all I can see is some spots of brown of the forest floor. I bring what I'm pretty sure is my left hand closer to my right arm-
Krii~ng! The loud sound of the blessed scissors interacting with the darkness along my arm pierces my ears, only then making me realize that my hearing was slowly fading, as well. The pain of what's happening to me comes back as I jab the scissors further.
White electricity flies out, running along both my arms as I desperately hold the blessed steel there.
My vision slowly comes back, as does my hearing… and the pain. Oh, yes, there's pain. On the upside, it means I'm alive. On the downside, fuck.
"Ghh~..." I hiss through bared teeth. The tendrils along my arm wiggle, writhe, and regress back towards Chaos Oath gradually, as does whatever that dark energy on my-... oh, it went from my arm onto my neck. That probably did it.
"A-ah, aa-ah…" The frog girl's eyes were shut, tendrils running along her form freely. Her right arm was now… well it's not dismembered. It's just… stretched, and bent, more than once.
Suddenly, I realize cutting the mana to Chaos Oath would probably be a good idea. Once I do, the tendrils retreat twice as fast.
...I realize that the frog girl had become so encapsulated, she was now covered with a thick net of wooden tendrils, while the thicker ones that attacked me were surging over and under them.
"Sto-sto~p!"
All of a sudden, danmaku of various colors approaches me in spreadshots, from all around me. Impatient, and not willing to eat colorful bullets more than I need to, I rapidly snip a few remaining tendrils of Chaos Oath, and try to get up from the frog girl, only to find the scissors still attached to her. Come on…
Then, a ball of black and green darkness softly drifts into me, and dissipates. What?
I look at Chaos Oath's tendrils- crap, the blessed scissors slipped from my hand…?
They drop onto one of the tendrils, burning it and making it retract into Chaos Oath. With that, Chaos Oath backtracks like the wind, and leaves the frog girl covered almost entirely with a wooden shell.
Taking both scissors, I pocket them in different pockets- Ouch! Danmaku sucks!
Getting up in the middle of the barrage, I try to remember which pocket the sleek black scissors are in. Whatever, I'll just move- what…!?
Moving forward, I trip on nothing and fall onto my stomach.
...Looking up from the floor, I see the ethereal form of some woman spinning past me. Some kind of cheeky youkai who saw me kill that frog, probably. She's got a stupid amount of red ribbons on.
Right, the sleek black scissors are in my right pocket…
...Wrong pocket. Just- whatever. I'll crawl, then.
Looking around, the sources of danmaku are apparent. They're not from her specifically, actually. They're… flying dust balls, or something.
Throwing my two arms across the floor, I eventually get back onto my feet. As I get up, I slam into a tree, but push myself past it anyway…
With the strength from Chaos Oath gone, I'm pretty much reduced to stumbling forward at the speed of light to get out of this situation- danmaku is the worst thing to ever exist. I now cannot feel my already nearly useless legs.
There! I draw the sleek black- oh, oh! Nearly dropped them. What is this bad luck…!?
I slide forward. Almost immediately, the motion makes me belly slide along the floor. I know it's disorienting, but it's never been that horrible…
Thankfully, the motion gets me out of the danmaku storm. Too bad I already can't feel most of myself.
...Can I still slide like this?
Woosh. Ouch, yes. My body got assaulted by tree roots and rocks, but I can dodge like this if I have to.
Doing it again- damn! Hit my jaw on a rock…
I'm now out of range from those flying fuzzball things, I think.
The ribbon-clad woman from before twirls before me, on the tips of her shoes, passing by me.
"Scar…" She speaks solemnly. "Broken Charm of Protection."
Slowly, she begins to glow. Oh, no…
Slide! I don't care that I'm sweeping the forest floor with my suit- just get me away!
Rapidly, I slide down the last inclines of the mountain. Thank all that is holy for my mask, because it lets me plow my head through bushes fine. The real downside here is having to slide at ninety degree angles to avoid trees-
Fwash, fwash, fwash! Red bullets bloom out from the ribbon maniac from behind me. They slowly pass me as they accelerate outward from her position-
Slap. Something is stuck to my back.
…
From here, I just keep sliding forward. After enough of that, I break the forest. I can tell ribbons is still behind me, because that red danmaku keeps sweeping out over my head. It also hurts like a son of a bitch. U~gh…
Suddenly, I hear a chime behind me, which comes out in beeps.
Ribbons the danmaku spammer stops. "Ah…" The danmaku dissipates. "My performance's almost on…"
...Stopping, I use my arms to turn myself towards her…
Slap, slap, slap. Three more ofuda-like papers slap themselves to me, one to my forehead. The one on my forehead is exuding black and green energy…
The woman frowns at me. "...I-I'm sorry." With that, she flies away.
…
Well, now I feel like shit. Ouch.
'...It seems you've done well, human.'
"Shut up." I am in no mood to be sassed by the scissors that got me in this situation. "...And my name's not 'human'."
…
Time to find somewhere to sleep.
"Hahaha~!" I hear boisterous laughter. "I smell a whole team of humans over there!"
"Oh, wo~w…!" A mature woman's voice echoes across the field. "So many new toys…!"
"We'll see if they put up a fight!" Another surly voice yells.
"Is that so~?" There's also Rumia, somewhere.
"I'll eat them all…" A particularly awestruck voice came from somewhere alarmingly close.
"We'll teach those vermin!" ...Pro~bably an edgy night fairy. "Come on, girls!"
"Yeah!"
"Let's do this!"
"Stinky humans!"
...A lot of edgy night fairies.
...My only saving grace is that the grass is tall. If I can't see them… they can't see me.
'But what are you, if not a human?'
Ti~me to just… belly slide away. Really fast. Really, really fast. "...Matt. My name's-"
"I hea~rd something!" That sounded like that green-haired fop from the other night. "Over there!"
Time to slide really really really fast.
/ / / / LOOK OUT ITS THE NATIONAL GUARD / / / /
...The village guard looks down, before double taking as I belly slide up to the gate.
"He-hello…" I greet him. "I am in need of assistance."
The guard jerks his head back. "...Why shouldn't I just destroy you here and now?"
...Using a tired arm, I point behind me. "That's why…"
...Focusing on the guard proper, I see that he already held his sword over his head. However, he stopped and noticed the youkai horde coming through the plain towards the village...
"Ho-holy…" Backing up, he feverishly began to pull open the gate, dropping his sword. "Gu-gu~ys!" He also yells. "Guys! Gu~ys!"
Once the gate is open enough, I slide into the village proper and just keep sliding. It's fortunate that the dirt road is marginally smoother than the forest floor…
Inside, I continue moving myself into the alleys so that I don't get trampled or otherwise on the road.
…
I'm just going to wait for my legs to stop being numb… and then I'll find an empty house to crash in, or something. So… tired…
…
I hear smashing noises coming from the wall where I had come in. Fun times ahead.
/ / / / MEDIC DOC CMON MAN / / / /
Miserably, I slink into the Kirisame goods store… It took a concentrated effort to get the door open, but I managed. By which, I mean I had to use the pink scissors to grapple onto the knob, and slowly molest the door until it opens.
...The old man at the counter looks down at me, and chuckles. "You onna them new types of snake youkai?"
Funny. Funny joke. "I~ am in need of a potion…" Please.
"You got the money?" Kirisame tilts his head as I awkwardly slide into the counter-
Bam. I accidentally ram myself into the bottom of the counter. Each slide is always fixed to a certain range, which makes precision not very possible.
"...Yes." If it goes up in price just because I'm in need, there will be consequences.
...Something light lands on my back. "There ya go."
Awkwardly taking the potion from my back, I pop the cork off and begin chugging it…
A few moments of watching me chug prompts Kirisame to say a few words. "You also got some cursed wards on ya. S'that on purpose, o~r didja have a bad day?"
Nah, I just felt like making a fashion statement, today. Even so, I'm still drinking the potion, so I can't respond as of right now. It tastes like disappointment and shame.
"Fa~h…" Once it's all down, I take a deep breath. I don't feel so well…
However, my legs now work again. Nevermind what I feel, then. I begin to stand up...
"Five hundred yen." Kirisame gives me a cheeky smile. "...Also, no, shankin' me won't work, even if it's late. Sorry if I'm midjudgin' ya, but… ya don't exactly look human in this situation, y'know. That, and you got this seriously screwed up aura, now. Nothin' like last time."
Forgive me for this, wallet. Your suffering will end soon. Drawing the yen from my pouch, I place it on the counter.
Nodding, Kirisame accepts it. "Woo~we. Days without an accident: two!"
Good for you.
...Leaning forward, he wraps his hand around the murky charm that was slapped to my forehead, and yanks it off. "There we go. Ya want the rest off? No charge, 'cause honestly, all it takes is a little surface manipulation to yank that crap off."
"That would be appreciated." Turning myself around, I allow Kirisame to work on the rest of the ofuda that was slapped to me.
He whistles. "Broken protection charms, huh? Looks like a certain Sheila had it out fer ya. No wonder ya slinked in like a youkai pancake."
Brushing myself off, I survey my suit…
Dirt everywhere, rips everywhere there isn't dirt. I'm also pretty sure my dress shoes are filled with rocks and sand now. Well, that sucks.
"...I sell suits, y'know." Again, Kirisame grins at me. "Only for four hundred thousand yen pe~r! Kinda a steal compared to most other prices! Lemme tell ya: you won't get other deals like this."
As fun as that sounds, I hardly have even forty thousand, let alone four hundred thousand.
"I'll pass." Turning around, I head for the door. There's nothing else here for me.
Kirisame chuckles. "Hehehe- didn't expect ya to have that much anyway. How do ya mask fellows even get those suits 'a yours, anyways…?"
"Very carefully." I reveal, leaving through the shop door. The bell chimes on my way out.
/ / / / FOR THE EMPEROR / / / /
My next important task will likely be getting myself a new suit. This suit seems to be done, for now.
As I step out of the Kirisame magic-and-other-crap shop, I hear violence down the road. No, it's not from the direction of whatever the hell is going on down in town square. The violence is coming from the direction I came from…
"Hello!"
Looking to my side, I see Rumia drift up to me, her orb of darkness down at the moment, and her clothing slightly ripped.
"...Greetings." I greet her.
Looking down the road, I see the violence.
"Holy shit! Holy shit!" An archer ran back past us, three dark fairies floating after him in a circular, revolving formation.
"Ge-get 'em off! Get 'em off!" One other archer had bugs swarming him.
"Fall back! Archers- we need more archers!" The main line of shield wielders is rapidly pushed back, their supporting spearmen forced to backup with them as wolfmen, yuki-onna, spider girls, and what looks like an alraune assault the defensive line.
...Well, then. This might be a good time to run away. Apparently the strike force that was after me was so fierce it just curbstomped the village gate.
"Follow me." I instruct Rumia, moving towards one of the alleys. I'd rather we didn't get ganked by angry guardsmen, especially when I look like a youkai and the stout one is a youkai.
Leisurely, she drifts after me, before we both stop some of the way into the alley. I should be able to think from in here…
"Hey, hey, hey! What is this!?"
Staring out of the alley from within, I see Reimu roar past it, towards the violence. Those youkai seem to have picked a bad day to assault the village.
…
Turning to Rumia, I see her grin. "Miko~..." Slowly, she begins to drift out of the alley, but I grab her leg, preventing her from throwing herself at Reimu.
...Yelling comes from the road. Lots of yelling, and screaming. I can see some of Reimu's bullets trailing into the sky from here.
I have no idea what to do with Rumia, now.
...Tugging her along by her ankle, I proceed further into the alleys. I should probably see what the nonsense in town square is.
/ / / / NEON ANNIHILATOR / / / /
Stepping out into the village square from a nearby alley, I find myself at the edge of a crowd of people. In the middle of the square is a gigantic eyesore in the form of two stages arranged parallel to one another, but also facing each other.
Messy music is being played by both parties on the stage, one of which looks like a bunch of fairy maids from the Scarlet Devil Mansion. The other team of performers is fluffles, all armed with tambourines.
Danmaku is exchanged by both teams, although the 'band' who will come out on top seems to be clear. Hint: not the fluffles.
...Apparently, Rumia is just going to let me drag her by the leg, as she continues to lazily drift in the air. She does put in the effort to keep herself upright, but that's about it.
It's like I have a balloon.
...My eyes scan the crowd, when I notice a pink-haired, cloth-hatted woman somewhere by the food stands, accompanied by her gardener.
This won't go wrong at all.
Making my way through the crowd- an easy feat when you're carrying a notorious darkness youkai like a helium balloon- I eventually come up to the two girls. They're both looking over the… coned chicken that was being served. I would be ignoring this spectacle, too.
"U~hm…" Yuyuko sheepishly looked over the selection. "...Are you sure I can't have more than just one?"
Youmu nodded, expression dry. "If we want to keep our spending under fifty thousand yen this time…"
…
I step up beside Youmu, and tap her on the shoulder. She freezes for a moment, before turning to me…
Gingerly, I hold out Rumia. "Gift."
…
Slowly, Youmu reaches out to take Rumia's ankle, her eyes darting between where mine are, the youkai's ankle, and Rumia's eyes…
"Ooh?" Yuyuko inhaled two of the chicken cone things at once while Youmu wasn't looking, and spoke with her mouth full. "Who's that, Youmu?"
Youmu blinks. "I… don't know." Masks are a godsend.
"He smells like dead stuff!" Rumia cheerfully contributes, despite being largely silent on the way here.
...Blinking, Youmu's eyes search my form. "...Yuyuko-sama, there's something…"
I look over at Yuyuko.
"That feeling…" Suddenly, Yuyuko's mouth was empty, and the chicken cones she lifted earlier outright vaporized.
Turning to me, she smiled. Through her smile, her pink eyes flared. "Where did you happen upon such a terrible aura?"
"Found it cheap at the flea market." I nod resolutely.
...After staring at me for a good moment, Yuyuko closed her eyes. "...You've killed people. Yet, you're no youkai hunter. In fact, you don't discriminate."
Youmu's gaze grows steadily more uncomfortable as she looks back and forth between us.
"Is there any reason to?"
Yuyuko giggled. "Fufufu… to someone like you, I suppose not. Given the nature of the death that surrounds you… you wouldn't. You've wrought great suffering upon those who didn't deserve it."
"That is for me to decide."
…
Yuyuko begins to glow. "...A life so young. Yet, you… you believe death is simply something you may distribute whenever you please. With your power, your potential, you…"
The bystanders nearby begin to back away, Yuyuko's sudden, flowing pink and blue aura terrifying them.
"You plan to kill more." Yuyuko summons two fans.
"Yu-Yuyuko-sama!?" Youmu backs up herself. Rumia darts out of her hands, and zooms off into the sky.
"Well, you know me of course." Raising my hand, I slide off my mask.
…
Youmu gapes. "You…!"
Yuyuko's demeanor doesn't change. "I knew from the moment you approached. The death around you is familiar to the last time we spoke."
...Like this, we stare back and forth at one another, Yuyuko's eyes slowly glowing brighter and brighter.
"Hey, hey!" The crow tengu's voice- Aya, I think- is heard from where we are, projected by microphone. "No fighting in the audience!"
Yuyuko bears a sickly smile down at me. "I've seen enough of suffering and pain."
...I tap the pocket that holds Chaos Oath, speaking under my breath. "Hey-"
'No. Your impetuous vexations will not be resolved by my hands…'
Oh.
The bystanders seem to all be filing to the opposite end of the concert setup, and all the shop owners have abandoned their posts.
"Losing Hometown…" Yuyuko floated high into the air.
"Yu-Yuyuko-sama~!" Despite calling out to her, Youmu was backpedalling at light speed.
Floating higher, the apparition appeared like a ball of pink energy from down here. "Village of Self Loss…"
Drawing my sleek black scissors, I begin to backpedal myself...
"Yuyuko!" Aya yells out over the microphone. "Stop! What are you doing!?"
"Trackless Path!"
Green, yellow, and cyan bullets started to stream out from Yuyuko's form. Despite my backpedalling, the gust of bullets jerked and awkwardly formed a shell to my left, which I avoided by simply sticking to the right.
Fwa~sh! Suddenly, one of Yuyuko's fans becomes a giant, five-spoked laser fan of death, which begins rending the empty shops and the dirt of the village square adjacent to my right.
The way it spreads across the ground, there's no way to avoid it unless I take a danmaku bath in the shower of bullets to my left. Good.
Grimacing at the arrow shaped bullets, I decide to simply plow through them. No pain, no game. Besides, I'm pretty sure that fan would incinerate me, or something.
Sliding forward quickly, I try to keep my head low. I'm not sure if it helped, but the wave of bullets already made me feel like shit, and I only ran through… five? Ten? There were a lot of bullets.
Fwa~sh! Another fan generates to my left once I'm through the storm. I try to slide to avoid it some other way, only to see it flare up with energy and expand. With the dirt under my feet slowly being unearthed, I throw myself back into the storm of bullets and eat another surge of them to get to the other side.
This time, she seemed to be delaying, though when I glanced at her, the neon-white fan was ready to make another burst. Doubling back immediately like a masochist, I slide through the bullet mess.
Fwa~sh! A neon pink, five-spoked fan of death generated where I moved away from.
Free from her trap of fan-based doom, I bolt into the remaining crowd of people who were too slow to evacuate, or decided to stick and watch for whatever reason.
They react explosively. "Aaa~h!"
"So cool! So coo~l…!"
"Ayase- where's Ayase…!?"
I spot Xavier, who's simply staring slack jawed at the spectacle of arrow-shaped bullets and doom fans.
Running towards him, I duck behind him. At the very least, Xavier's a tall person.
...Frowning deeply, Yuyuko ceases her spell card, the bullets all dissipating. The dimly lit, night time clearing of the village square returns to darkness, for a moment…
Looking at the clearing ahead, I strain my eyes to find movement…
...Yuyuko is now at ground level, whirling towards us with her aura far dimmer than before. All of a sudden, it flares up as it nears us.
Grabbing Xavier by the shoulders, I shove him in the way as Yuyuko smoothly lifts a powerfully bright fan. She stops herself the moment it's about to come down, restraining herself from striking the hooligan before me.
Xavier looks shell shocked.
She blurs out of existence.
Wildly looking around, I notice a bright blur of pink to my right, so I both move to the left and jerk Xavier to the right-
Woosh. On a dime, Yuyuko stopped herself from bisecting Xavier with her fan, and vanished again.
Looking around wildly again, I now notice two blurs of pink, to both sides. With little choice, I duck and ram myself into Xavier to cast him over myself like a shield.
"He-help! Xavier being possessed by she demons!" Xavier has no idea what's going on.
Shi~ng! Two fans, both wielded by the two Yuyukos, violently whirl through the air, above the two of us. Lines of pink are made from their slashes, the light fading out with a subtle red tinge as the two ghosts blur out of existence.
Sliding out from under Xavier and casting him aside-
Fwoom! A pillar of pink energy erects from the floor as I slide along it, skimming the bottom of my shoes.
"He-hey…!" A blonde girl is before me, and I latch onto her legs, crawling to stabilize myself using her-
Woo-woosh! Two more fans whirl past my legs. I see another Yuyuko dissipate, stopping herself before she cut the girl.
"Ge-get o~ff!" The blonde girl starts assaulting me gently, slapping my arms as I grapple her.
Drawing my blessed scissors, trying to rotate the girl at the same time, I hold them to her-
Woosh!
I'm not sure what happened, but I saw Yuyuko's face pass mine, before dissipating. I didn't get hit, so- Agh!
Turning, I see butterfly shaped bullets casually drifting into my backside. They hurt like hell, too.
Plowing forward with the girl, I try to get towards more people for safety-
Swish! A Yuyuko clone behind me swings her fan at me again- Ouch. Ouch ouch ouch. That was not danmaku. I'm pretty sure there's a hole in my back now, somewhere. Fuck.
With my blessed scissors to the girl's neck, I run towards the retreating crowd of people-
Fwoom, fwoom, fwoom! Three pillars of pink energy erupt before me, and I try to shove the bystander I had acquired into them, only for the one I tried it with to vanish. It seems she cares very much about not hurting anyone but me.
Holding the blade to the terrified blonde's neck… no, I probably couldn't threaten hostages or something, considering Yuyuko's-
Swish! She vanishes to avoid hurting the girl again.
-teleportation skills.
"He~y!" Aya is now in the air over me, her wings whirling. "Yuyuko! What the hell!?"
Yuyuko appears in the air, twenty feet away from her.
"What-... what are you doing!?" Aya glares at her. "Why are you just attacking people!?"
...Frowning, Yuyuko takes a moment to respond. "...I'm avoiding bodily harm."
"Yeah- okay!" Drawing some fans of her own, Aya readies to battle. "Sorry not sorry, tubby, but I can't just let you crash… this… co-con…"
Thud. Aya fell out of the sky, landing beside me awkwardly.
"I'm sorry." Yuyuko dissipated again. Oh, boy…
Bolting into the crowd of people with my sliding scissors, I began shoving my way past them. Yuyuko hovered menacingly overhead, but with this many people she couldn't act. If I wait, though, she'll probably find a way.
Woo-woo-woosh! Arrows fly through the air, but go right through Yuyuko. Perks of being a ghost.
Breaking through the crowd of people, I make my mad dash towards the village gate. If I can get out and into the woods, I might be fine.
"Fufufu~..." The village takes on an unhealthy, pink glow. I can hear the ghost princess laughing behind and above me… "Hahaha~!"
The rapid whirling of her pink fans is audible, and I begin to zigzag to avoid dying as fast-
Woosh, woosh. A fan juts out to my left. I'm forced to dive to my stomach to avoid the next one, my sliding alone not quick enough.
Fwam, fwam, fwam, fwam! Pink and cyan pillars begin to erupt from the ground ahead, getting in my way-
Bam! Son of a bitch!
...I am now airborne. Very airborne. I can see the roofs of, in fact, multiple houses. Seems those pillars had some upward momentum to them.
Yuyuko appears before me, glaring into my eyes with her ominous, pink ones. "You will be held accounta-"
Bam!
Suddenly, Yuyuko flies to the side, kicked in the face by a sandal. Hello, Reimu.
"What the hell's going on here!?"
/ / / / FREAKIN HAKUGYOKUROU / / / /
END OF CHAPTER 52.5
PROTAGONIST: Matthew, the Debatably Sane Outsider, Lord of Edges, Scissor-Slinging Slasher, Insurance Fraud Expert, Used Goods Reseller, Evil Spirit Cultivator
PRIMARY WEAPON: Chaos Oath - Forged from the bark of the Saigyou Ayakashi, and bent to shape by a masterful magician well versed in the material arts… it's a pair of wooden scissors. Produces low whistles and howls. Channeling mana into it gives user an immense physical boost, but it seems to come at a price… And it seems to be haunted by something that wants me dead.
INVENTORY:
[Bag of Holding] - Takes up no inventory space, because it is the inventory space. Has nine slots, and is easily accessible.
Steel Scissors - Sharp, shiny, and to the point!
Quick Scissorang - Non-elemental scissors that are enchanted to return to the owner with ferocity. Not that powerful of a weapon, but combined with strong string it can be used like a powerful grappling hook. Looks like it belongs in a Barbie catalog.
Flame Scissors - Fire-elemental scissors that have an incendiary effect on strike. Boosts fire magic and abilities, as if I had any. Enchanted to grant 20% fire resistance, and reduce discomfort near fire.
Dash Scissors - Succubus training tool. Allows for horizontal quick-dashes, for dodging and agility purposes. Doubles as scissors for kinky, cloth-cutting occasions. Or stabbing. Sleek, black design.
Blessed Steel Scissors - Stained lightly with fresh blood from a young human female. Sharp, shiny-ish, and to the point! Also blessed...
Steel-alloy String - An experimental item provided by Alice as part of her testing. She uses these herself to manage her dolls, or so I'm told.
A Tuft of Cloth Strings - Pink, regular cotton string. It's soft, and clean.
Bang Gun - Bang.
(one more space remaining)
[Backpack] - Allows extended inventory, of twenty slots. Can hold larger items, but it takes longer to pull them out. Items inside are safer. It's also baby barf green.
Hedge Cutters - Rusty lawn pruning tool used by farmers to keep the vile hedges at bay. They're also sharp, so they've probably been used more than once in self-defense.
Dense Shard - A cloudy, very light grey shard. It's not a rock, however… it's too textureless. Perhaps usable as a reagent.
Teal Stone - Cool and refreshing to hold, exuding power of the wind. It's sort of shiny, too. Perhaps usable as a reagent.
AK-47 Barrel - A long barrel, once part of an AK-47. Made of strong steel.
Rubber Grip - More like a block of rubber, really…
Twenty-six Feet of Wire - Time to make lava dispensing piston machines!
A Single Rubber Glove - For those moments one needs to touch a live power wire with one hand and fap with the other.
Water Scissors - Scissors that continuously produce water. How troublesome.
A Shrub with Electrical Scissors inside of it - Since they're too charged to be allowed to come into contact with cheap cloth and human flesh, they've been trapped inside of wood, which is particularly non-conductive. At least, enough so to keep from getting super-heated by the electricity.
Goldfish Snack Crackers - They're smiling. They might make a good snack...
Modern-ish Surge Protector - Protects against surges. Not very useful without unified electrical practices in housing. Can still be used as a paperweight and a brick, though.
(nine more spaces remaining)
PARTY:
Still nobody.
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
honh
slight development hell because i now fall asleep automagically when it gets late
my body is having its
REVENGE
but anyway this chapter was pretty fun as a whole to write; dunno how i'm gonna follow it up but that's half the fun of it! general purpose was to get matt his SHIT while making it vaguely entertaining to watch and then he decided to just RUN UP TO YUYUKO AND TAUNT HER and yeah
waHAHA
got a GENERIC FROG GIRL killed along the way; she appeared just 'cause, really; i forgot chaos oath was supposed to try to gank matt when he used it so that made it interesting and then hina
him sliding away like a maniac was probably easyish to see as bullshit but honestly enough has gone wrong for him to warrant being able to RUN AWAY REALLY FAST even with BROKEN LEGS
…it also failed to save him from an ANGRY GHOST PRINCESS AAHH
i dunno what happens next we'll just have to see
as always, see you all next time!
CO-AUTHOR'S NOTE:
fun times
not much to really say this time, except fun talking scissors weapon thing that really want me dead yet not dead dead more like deadened deadness. the frog girl thing wasn't my idea, but the execution with chaos oath was, which gave THE MAN a bit of trouble
yeah this is the 'find shit loot shit' chapter cause why not, we gots things to do people to see
and i pissed off yuyuko by existing
hoh
