(in which we have a freakin' ball yo)

Holy shit!

There's Maribel- the girl, from the games- the Touhou! "Yo- hol' up, s'not what ya think…! Ha-chan, get offa' me…"

"Oh- ah…" Ha-chan just shifts on me summore, and it's- aah…

"Am- am I, um…" Maribel steps back a little! This is the weirdest timing for this shit!

"No- no- just uhm!" Aaa~h! "Ha-chan- go hug 'er!"

Standing from me, Ha-chan instantly moves to engage! "She's so fluffy looki~ng!" She is, dude!

"Wh- ah- ooh!" Wahaha~! Ha-chan got her, dude! Now, I can do something about this building arousal… like hold my breath for ten years!

"Let- let me go!" Maribel at first pushes against Ha-chan's touch, before giving up… "Unh." Aw?

"No." Ha-chan is poofy. "I wanna snuggle you."

"...Ah." An' now she gets it! "Um."

Ha-chan is a deadly weapon, of cuddly potential. My cheeks feel so warm, shit…

"Aaa~h!" Let's use our yelling magic on the passing villagers!

I get some attention, from the friendly citizens local to us. "Wha- what the hell…" A guy shakes his head, as he passes. A few other people just kinda look back at us, and gimme a stare, but ignore me. You know, some really out-of-bounds bullshit gets ignored really easily!

Wait. This leather kimono thing is burlier than I realized, for a moment, meaning that being aroused will not be an embarrassing thing that needs to be hidden. Whoops…!

"What's going on…!?" Maribel has been sufficiently freaked out! "Who are you people!?"

...Stepping up to her, I give 'er a sneer. "The name's big man. Landline in charge. I run the fluffernickle around these parts."

"...Wha- what." She stares at me hopelessly… "I, um, didn't catch that… at all."

Oof. "I'm part of a band!" I answer her for real, this time! Maybe I shouldn't freak 'er out yet! "We're the uh…" I was about to say 'circumcised gongs' but I think that wouldn't go over too well… "Chowdown Showdown!" Perfect!

"I'm soft." Ha-chan speaks in truths.

She nuzzles Maribel's hat, until it falls off, revealing fluffy blonde hair. "What, noo~..."

Actually, idea. "Do you know anything about music, fluffy hair?" She shall too, be a fluffy-haired girl…

"Um- a little…?" She tries to focus on me, with Ha-chan givin' her the good snugs. "Wh- why…?"

"We're short on people who can actually play music!" I declare! "Like, seriously, actually. It's- pretty bad…! You are the fated hero of legend!"

"No- I mean, why the hugs?" Maribel was beginning to blush, from getting hugged tightly…! "Seriously- what the hell…"

...I step up to 'em. "Ha-chan, cease the molestigation- by which I mean, the hugs!" I give her a complex hand signal.

fwif. She shifts away instantly, looking blunt and snug. Somehow, she now had Maribel's hat.

...Maribel gives me a concerned look! "Does she-... do that often?"

"Yes." It is hell on my hormones. Can you imagine, if she actually knew what sex was? I am not actually sure if I want her to ever find out! "However- I will protect you, dude."

For a moment, she just looks lost and confused. Then, she looks back at me! "So uh-... what was that about a band? I'm a fated who now…!?"

"You are the girl…" I begin, "with the sword that shoots la~ser beams!"

...She shook her head. "Um. Sorry…" What, no.

I wave 'er off. "We'll find you an accordion that shoots laser beams, then. S'really the same thing!"

"O- oh?" She snorts! "Okay!"

...But first, to take her to lunch and actually update her on what the frik's goin' on. Time to blow some of that yen!

"So, what's with the wig…?" Before I can take us anywhere though, she interrogates me! "Who are you, really?"

"Think Twisted Sister, or something." I just make it easy dude, I want my nuggets, dude! "An' I'm a-... I'm a-"

"He's Brad-kun!" Ha-chan- probably made that more convenient than I was gonna make it, actually.

"...Brad, huh? And, that is an American band." Maribel gives me a funny look! "How'd an American get here?"

"How wouldn't I, is the real question…" America has been forgotten to the sands of time, friend. I am the last surviving nugget of the fluffle tribe.

...Shakin' her head, she began to look around. "This- is Gensokyo, right? 'Cause, aside from the stage, it um, looks like-..."

"Looks like Africa in here, dunnit!?" I take a guesstimation! "Yeah, that's a runnin' theme here! Only a few buildings do not look like Africa!"

"Yeah, it does! Ah..." She accepts this answer, before looking over at the stage. "So… ah, yeah. I see how this works now, kinda. Are you a popular artist, here?"

Shakin' my head, I clarify! "I ain't! But, I got some friends who kinda are…"

Ha-chan pipes up! "Hi!"

I still shake my head, and even slouch. "Not her, though, dude…"

"Aaw…" She joins me in my head-shaking and slouching.

"Well-..." Slowly, Maribel introduces herself ta me properly. "I'm Maribel. I'm-... from the outside. Are you?"

"Ye." This is agreeable. "Marimarimaribel."

...She begins to look around blankly, so I give 'er some direction! "Come with me, friend. I'm gonna get us some nuggets."

"Nuggets." For some reason, she mulls over the idea fer a moment, before nodding an' following! "They can't make houses, but they can make nuggets…"

Yeah, funny story. "S'a- s'a whacky place here, lemme tell ya…"

"Come hell or high water, the Japanese'll make fried food." Maribel says a topical thing that I wouldn't know much about!

"Welcome hell." Ha-chan, no. Don't…!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Aa~h. I sit down at the same picnic table my band pals were at, since it's still empty and stuff.

Maribel slips into the seat next to me, at a comfortable distance. Ha-chan takes my right however, and is just in my freakin' face…! She's also even fluffier now, because she's now got the poofy mob cap on, after she stole it from Maribel.

Click. I set down our big nugget platter. "Big nuggets, dude."

S'actually really easy to talk right now. A new band's gettin' up on stage, and the guys on the left are-... I dunno who, but no one important!

On the right, there's a shitton of kappa on stage, moving big mechanical parts! Hoh, shit…

"Brad, huh." Maribel gets my attention! "So, Brad… who are you- like, in the band?"

...Lookin' over at her, I raise my wig! "Paul Solomon, from Solomon 'n' Sons, dude. In the band, I'm a keyboardian. Outside of it, I'm- I'm a yuki-warrior berserker-onna."

"...Oh." She raises her brows! "Okay, then!" Hello- this is Kiryu from Kiryu & Sons.

Well anyway-

"honh honh honh" Wha- what, woah dude. A fluffle found my leg, and is now really friendly…

...Maribel simply looks offput by the noise for a moment, but ignores it!

Thunk. Aw. She sat a suitcase down onto the picnic table. Business Maribel.

"I've actually, um, not been to Gensokyo in awhile." Maribel talks about how she's a newb, dude. "And, never this place." You've memed in the wrong neighborhood, noob…

"Yeah- this is what they call ah, the Human Village." I tell 'er where the hell this dirtpit is. "You'd think it boring, but it's actually really interesting!"

...Maribel raises a brow! "Oh, really? Does it have fun events like this, a lot?"

I shake my head. "No- it has really high crime apparently, and everyone's angry and hates non-human things!"

"...Oh." That's not the answer she was expecting! "Um, wow. Good with the bad, I guess."

"Ye. The rest of the place is fun, albeit somewhat homicidal…!" I advise her on the rest of the Gensokyo'ing and things.

"Somewhat homicidal…?" She gives me a worried look! "Ah, whatever. Mmm…" She started to receive the nuggets… "Mmh."

I should receive them, too. Aw, Ha-chan even took one!

And then she threw it again. "Enh!" Freakin'- I paid for those! Waa~h!

...Pft- aw! It hit a succubus in the ass! "Anh!"

Maribel looked up, and snorted! "Ah, aw… is- that a succubus?"

Ye ye, ye. "Yeah, dude! A lotta funny faces're in town tonight, 'cause 'a the band shit!"

"I see~." She sized up the scantily-clad girl, who was lookin' 'round for the ass who hit 'er in the ass with a nugget!

Thankfully, she does not realize it was us. Hoh.

These nuggets… are good…

"Nothing like local spices, at least." Yeah, Merry's right. I'm callin' her Merry. It just sounds right! Even this stuff is better than the McDonalds shit we had at home.

"Yeah- y'see, the good thing about less advanced civilizations, is that they haven't gotten to the 'make all food out of raw chemicals' stage!" I agree wit' 'er!

She nods in agreeableness! "Right? Althou~gh… to be fair, nothing'll be vitamin-enhanced or fortified, and there's no labels to bother with your diet. Not that anyone bothers to begin with, but y'know."

I raise a nugget. "The plus side 'a that… is that nothing's absolutely plastered in sugar either!"

Merry concedes that, dude. "That's true. Is sugar still around for general sweetening, though?"

Pretty sure, or we wouldn't have cakes! "Yeah, yo."

She snorts! "Well, that's… actually a pretty big plus to living here." Ho ho!

Lookin' back over at the stage, I see what they've set up… and, it's pretty big!

The entire right side of the stage was set up, with two angled bleachers leading the eyes into a big column of… nothing! There was a big metal pad on the floor, and the bleachers actually ended in a curve around the air above it. S'a neat curvy design!

Aw. Wakasagihime- I think- is floating in the center of the stage. On the upper bleachers, Sekibanki and that friendly wolf girl- Kagerou was it- were ready. They've even got fancy pallete swaps on, dude!

...Wakawaka's tail is really long!

"That mermaid-... can fly." Merry observed!

"Aw. Yeah." Now that I think about it, I can see how that'd be a bit weird! "Notable people in Gensokyo can fly~! Also, youkai."

...Merry gingerly turned to me. "Can you fly?"

"No." Aaa~h, aaa~h!

Ignoring my mournful look, she resume watchin' the stage set up…

Vrrr~. Oo~h. The big metal door under Waka began to slide open.

Vrrrr- vrrr~. Slowly, a-... a vat of pure, crystalline water rises from the floor. It ripple a little as the container is mechanically lifted, stretching up through the tailored platform edges…

Wakasagihime is enveloped by the liquid, as it rises past her form. Fancy shmancy!

Cla- clack! Ooh! I just noticed, but the kappa engineers on the bleachers are settin' up these big robot-lookin' fellas. And-... they've got instruments! It's gonna be an auto-ensemble, dude!

"Woa~h…" Merry's captivated by the spectacle… "Where'd this kinda tech come from?"

Home. I almost described 'captivated' as 'capsized' instead. Merry was capsized by the performance, oh shit!

"Those little dudes in the blue must be the kappa." I hazard out ta her. "Basically, they swim good, and build good!"

"Huh." Seems she is in observation mode! I can't say I blame her dude- this setup's kinda crazy!

...Blue light washes across the stage.

I look around the audience area, which is now a deep blue in the dead of night, with the most colored lights being Wakasagihime's bowl thing and some village torches.

Far away from the stage is a deep black and blue, despite even the torches, and close up is a clear, pristine gradient of teal and deep blue.

Vhu~m. On the bleachers beneath Seki and Kagerou, a four-armed robot with drum sticks. Instead of a drum set, it had a like, futuristic pad set, with cloth-looking tops.

There's robots on synthesizers- which seems hopelessly roundabout- and some with keytars. Maybe this gets around looking pre-recorded by being actually performed by programmed machines.

The other band is like, some fwoofy fuckin' dudes with flutes and shit. They are fucked, dude.

There's actually more, smaller tubes of water all around the stage, also erected from the floor, with varied layers. They tint and shape the light going through it, and uh?

Dude! Some of them have fluffles inside, lying on the bottom of the otherwise clear glasses. They're automatically paddling, using both fins to smugly push themselves forward into nothing, as the glass impedes their progress. Aww…!

Around us, a sedate theme begins to play, all nautical and calm, but also with a beat to it. Aw, I like where this is going, actually...

Glu- glug, bloop. Some bubbles are released from the bottom of Wakasagihime's tank, strategically. Hoh, shit.

Standing up, Merry gets excited over it! "So neat..."

Ha-chan's giving it an all-encompassing stare dude.

Glu- glug, bloop. Slowly, the light around us all begins to turn and rotate…

"Dive into the ocean's hope, at the fading, of the da~y…" The three girls start to sing, despite their seeming anxiety! Wakasagihime's voice like, rings off the glass, in a pleasant way… "Aquatic kaleidoscopes, see the colors sweep and swa~y…"

I stop focusing on lookin' at them, and turn back to the fluffy girls-

"Down in the deep, deep, blue…" Woah. The performin' girl's voices like, gain a weird, watery echo when you don't focus on them! What'd the kappa do, yo!? That's neat!

The robots are also pretty cool, 'cause instrument bots. Autobots, rock out, dude…!

"Rebuild my world ane~w…"

Maribel looks back at me, looking fluffy. Words cannot describe her wonder at the shifting colors!

"Waves, keep on washing over me~. Swim out- swim out, glide into the open." Aww. The way the fluffles paddle is in sync with the song!

"Coo~l, are the currents of the sea~. Swim out- swim out, deep into the ocean." The whole song's got a real nice turbulent theme to it… I think. Turbulent was a word that made me think of the sea, so I used it!

Aw, woah! I just noticed, but- both stages are flooding!

The robot performers don't seem to mind, nor do the kappa-techs. Seems like the other stage is waterproof…

The dudes with the flutes, however- they're kinda…! Oh- they brought like, these wood benches with them. Maybe they'll float, dude!

This is nice. Aw- that reminds me, I should uh… well for one thing, I should eat my nuggets before they freakin' die. But, I should also show Merry around!

"I'mma show ya around our band area…!" Alertin' Merry from her fluffiness, I get on up.

"O- oh? Ah, sure…" Ho ho. Beckoning successful!

Let's go, dude! Lifting the nuggets, I start to meander off, towards our booths.

Ha-chan needed another moment to think about it, so I stopped to stumble back towards 'er! "Ha-chan- freakin'...!"

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

"I carry the means to mend, amid the fathoms and the foam…"

Even behind the stages, the tint of the world's a deep, deep blue. It's real night-like, but also snug and gentle, dude.

"This ocean, it has no end… and I'm a long, long way from home." That's probably true in Merry's case, innit…!?

In the dim spaces behind the booths, Merry looks small and really cute, despite only being marginally shorter than me.

Since she wandered ahead to look explorational yet snuggly, I've gotta reel 'er back in! "Yo- over here…" I move to cast our curtains open. "But- I gotta warn ya- my band members are real, uh, metal…!"

"They're not made of meta~l…" Ha-chan, no. Friend, no~.

Merry throws 'er a weird stare, before moving for the inside 'a the booth…

"Down in the deep, deep, blu~e…" As the singing in the background echoes out, Merry delves into the tent of fun we've got back here! "Rebuild my world ane~w…"

Upon her entrance, Seija and Futo immediately turn to her! Mystia and Kyouko're havin' a quiet chat in the background, too…

On the screen- ohp. Oo~h. The flute guys all sunk under the apparently danmaku-ified water, and are all sparkling wildly with danmaku stuff. They look angry dude…!

"Waves keep on washing over me~. Swim out, swim out, glide into the open." I wish I had fins I could paddle with, like the fluff stuff…

"Cool, are the currents of the sea~. Swim out, swim out, deep into the ocean." Meanwhile, Seija drifts over to us menacingly…!

"Hi." I give Seija a wa~ve.

"Where'd you find loli Yukari." Her statement is blunt, as she dryly sneers at Merry…!

Merry blinks up at 'er. "...I'm twenty." Oh…!

"The silence of the deep…" S'just Waka's voice now, and now the blue colors are flowing out… "What secrets does it keep?"

"Wa~sh over me~..." Kagerou holds an arm out!

"Out into the ope~n…" I didn't know Sekibanki could even sing!

And then we've got Futo. "May the question be posed…" An' she's fluffy. "Where was she absconded from…!?"

"Her name's Fluffy." I gesture meekly to Merry… "Treat her well…!"

"I'm Maribel!" She gives me a look with raised brows! "Um… and, he invited me into this band thing…"

"The silence of the deep…" In this final phase of the brief song, Waka continues to sing about the deep. "What secrets does it keep?"

Narrowing her eyes, Futo sizes up our new friend. "...Not youkai, by a lucky stroke, I take it. Still, what value is proposed from her?

"She can play the loofah." Can she play any instruments? "...Merry- what the- what can ya do?" I decide to ask her!

"I- I can sing, a little!" She looks put on the spot! "Um…!"

"Shitty pick, but we can use you anyway." Seija instantly talks down to her. Oof… "Reminds me- can you do gap bullshit?"

...Takin' a step back, Merry sizes her up herself. "How-... do you know, about that?"

"Uh, that Yukari chick-..." Think fast, noob! By noob, I mean me…! "She is-... everyone's aunt."

...Only briefly dropping her sneer, more like jolted outta it, Seija half-chuckles! "Pft- hfh… that was the dumbest fuckin' direction you coulda taken that." Wahaha!

Just a little disturbed now, Merry shakes her head! "Who? I- I guess it's whatever, then." Oh? She dunno Yukari, then? How much of a noob is she in this world!?

...Aw, well. The Waka-song is over, dude. With a wave of serene notes an' bubbly noises, which echo into the silence...

Reachin' into my bag, I take out my water hanger. Aw- Deep Blue's like… it was a song lyric, dude!

I'm so proud of it, I could drink from it. Which, I think I will!

Creak. Twistin' it on, I tilt my head back, and- mmh. All this blue and water stuff really put me in the mood to consume fluids.

"Mmh- s'good stuffs…" Ah, good, I didn't get too much on my leather gear. Now ta just, put that all away-

"Did- uuh…" Merry's looking even more bemused by my existence! "You drank- from a-... a plant hanger."

"Hi." And? S'there-... s'there a question, officer!?

"...O- oh!" What kinda sound's that, Merry-friend…!? "It's you!" Hello!

Seija 'n' Futo stagger outta her way, as she marches past them! Stoppin' at the picnic table of ours ahead, she lugs her suitcase up ta place it down.

Thunk. Floppin' the tub case on it, she flips the clappers open, and opens it up! And, uh…

Clack. She's got a plant hanger too, dude! Holy shit!

Pausing, she looks up at me, putting a finger to her lips as I meander over… "You're, um, a little different from what I saw…" A lot of people consider me a little different, friend.

It is time to question the premise. "Wat." You are a big nugget, Merry. No seriously- I dunno what you're on about, now!

Digging through her suitcase, she drew a sheet of computer paper! "I saw you. Um, in a dream."

...I look like a retard, hoh shit! Also- in a dream, huh. I feel like going for the stupid 'guy of your dreams' quip, but it's actually so obvious that I'm not. It's bad, dude.

"Did- did I weird you out…?" She looks worried at my sudden non-responsiveness!

I slouch at her… "Yeah dude." Oof. "I am now defeated. I now exist… only in a dream…!"

Fwoof. Ah, what. Seija opened her pink umbrella at us. "Hey, loli Yukari. You recognize this?"

...Merry blinks at her, and looks it over! "...Um. It looks original, I guess. I kinda like it."

Mullin' over the answer like a fine wine, except not, Seija gives her a droll look. "You would say that, wouldn't you?"

"I would, actually." Merry sasses her back!

Click. Woah- shit. The lights turned back to normal from deep blue, like instantly. It made me jump!

The instant it turns, Mystia rumbles over to us from the corner of the booth! "Alright, hey…"

Shoveling away her drawing of me for some reason and the plant hanger, she looks up at the bird friend.

"First question: who is she?" Mystia points at Merry!

"Merry Melodies." I'm snug, dude!

"Yukari." Seija does not make this any easier!

Lookin' up from her koto, which she moved to adjust, Futo comments! "...Second to the motion of adolescent Yakumo." Yeah- you're cool. That's like, seven words for the price of one!

"...Guess I'll call her Merry." Mystia guesses correctly! "Why the hell're you here, Merry?"

Backin' up a little, Merry looks defensive! "He- he invited me! I, um, I can sing…?" Then, she backtracks! "Wait- let me think first-"

"Sure." Mystia just bulldozes over her verbally dude. "You'll get some time to practice soon. We need everyone we can get really, so whatever."

With no other options available, Merry acts natural. "A- ah." By natural, I mean snug.

Kyouko bounds over from the corner! "Hello new person!"

"Hi!" Despite her pep, Merry looks very… confronted! "Fo- for a band, this is a lot of people…" Five's a freakin' wedding, and six is a worldwide phenomenon, dude!

"No it isn't." Seija has no other reason to be here anymore, other than to make us feel bad about ourselves! "Every band has exactly six people."

...Merry gives her a narrowing stare. "What is your problem with me?"

"Uh, ignore her." Meanwhile, Mystia's perplexed that she dunno who Seija is! "That's her thing."

"And your thing's being a fucking bird." Seija- wow…!

...Hardly stopped by that, Mystia just gives her a look of some kind!

"Wo- wow…!" Merry is also baffled at how freakin' blunt that retort was! "That was… huh."

Already, Seija is just a complete smug asshole about the impact of her insult. "...It's true."

"Anyway." Roundin' the picnic table sorta idly, Mystia looks between all of us. "I really don't know when we'll be called up again, or how long this competition'll even last from here, so we really gotta be ready."

Gotta be ready, huh. I mean, we practiced Through the Fire and Flames like twenty times, most of which was not on-camera for obvious reasons. And, every other song was just kinda things the girls have known. Aside from the fluffle thing, that was a garageband session!

"We~ll, this is the second bracket, and it's like…" Kyouko takes a moment to pause, and look really fluffy. Then, she continues! "It's half the bands, now. Not that there were too many, I think. It's still really late now…"

I turn to Merry! "Do you have a watch, friend?" My 3DS actually has a time thing on it, but not only is it military time, it constantly resets for no reason! So it's actually not useful at all…

"No." Hoh, shit. She said that rather decisively! "I-... if my friend was here, she'd be able to tell!" Uh oh…! We're in deep now, dude!

Getting up from her recently claimed seat, Futo freakin' marauds over to the midst of the tent. "And ye all doubt me. I'll tell the moon for you. Surely one of you has gazed upon the night, for more than ten seconds?"

"I could," Seija offers! "But why would I."

Mystia just sorta leans around a little. "Never really cared. I just, kinda have a feel for it..." Aah. Y'see- she's a night sparrow, so… yeah, she just has night all down by feel, I'm sure.

"It seems two hours past midnight." Futo communicates! Also- holy shit, really…?

"This can't go on a whole lot longer." With this information, Mystia passes judgment! "Maybe to morning, but… also, maybe not. And, I don't think the villagers would want an all-nighter."

"They don't." Seija is… surprisingly helpful! "Which is why we're gonna play our longest song."

"I was plannin' on that anyway, but yeah." Mystia gives 'er an annoyed stare… "We might get some kinda announcement, maybe. I don't know if they expected it to go this long."

Seija just frowns at her. "You sound like an idiot, saying that. You really think they didn't account for this? You want out that bad?"

"Suck on a dick, you fucking-... lunatic." Mystia has suddenly had enough of Seija's shit! "Whatever."

"Ha~h." As Seija tries to prod her further, I can do little more than just stare at them awkwardly!

But Merry, she thinks she can do us all one better…! "Um- please…" Hoh, shit. Moving past me, she goes towards Seija… "Don't start fights."

Seija flips her the middle finger! "Ah- tell that to yerself when you grow tits, you fuckin' string-pulling raghead."

Steppin' back, Merry grins incredulously! "Wh- what the he~ck…"

Cli- click. Flipping open the 3DS, Mystia actually steps back towards me… "Since we're all ready now, I think, you can have this thing back."

...As I receive the device, Merry actually gives it a curious look! "Ah- is that, um…"

I give her an expectant look!

"One of those DS things?" She knows what it is, dude! "That's really retro…" Ah? "It still works, too?"

"Issa' Nintendo New 3DSXL." I give her the scoop, on the word salad Nintendo has made of it. "I got it last year…!"

"Last year?" Grinning, she raises a brow! "Someone got you a DS in twenty-fifty one?"

Wh-... twenty-fifty one? That's four decades from now! Holy shit!

...I give 'er a grin myself! "I'm like- I'm from twenty-fifteen!"

She now raises both brows. "Wh-... woah?" Ho ho! "Wait- how!? Are you a time traveller!?"

"Are you!?" I accuse her of hacks! "I dunno dude- last I checked, times weren't actually all that different! I mean-..." It takes me a moment, but- "We got Steam here actually, and above that, 3DS's are still in style!" I remember Kaguya liking them! And also, people using Steam!

An' then Mystia feels like buttin' in on our insanity. "What are you actually talking about? Gensokyo's a hundred thirty years, about. That's the last I heard at least- and that was nowhere near whatever stupid numbers you're describing…"

...Merry gives me an unwarrantedly overwhelmed look!

"I think…" Not sure where I remember this from… "Gensokyo's got its own date and things. I don't actually know what year it started from…" A hundred thirty, huh. I mean, that's like-... I could find out with subtraction but-

"You outsiders are basically fucked, so don't worry about it." Seija immediately tries to crush our escapee dreams, dude. "Maribel girl- you could probably make like this crossdresser over here and just go fucking nuts."

"Yeah- no, I'm um, no." Fluffily, Maribel just shakes her head twice. "Pretty sure I know where to get out anyway, since I voluntarily came in."

...Seija raises a brow at that. "Oh?"

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

It has been an hour.

"Omh…" Curled up on her seat at the edge of the picnic table, Futo consumed some fried chicken stuffs… "Mmh."

Merry rustled Ha-chan's hair… "Freaking- you're a little menace, aren't ya…!?"

"Hehehe~!" Ha-chan is freakin'... the fluffiest thing alive, dude. For context, the two of them have been instigating one another off-and-on for the past twenty minutes!

You know-... you know when it's so late in the evening, you begin wondering any moment when the sun's gonna come up? That sorta unholy moment where it actually gets brighter, as if it were hovering around ten or eleven PM again? That's what I'm feelin' right now!

Sinking forward at her seat, Seija just looks like she's melting, her high from earlier well worn-off by now… "Fhh~k." What was that, dude. I think she just blew hot air into the table…

We actually had to play, once or twice. Like, mid-bracket shit that wasn't anything particularly special. There was an instrumental for some like-... yellow-white girls who looked sorta like fairies? And then we had to attack this band of entirely drummers, and it was freakin' weird.

Wh- woah- wait, oof…! Ha-chan just began rustling my wig-

It comes off, and she begins going at my messy, greasy hair! "Rustle- rustle- rustle…!"

"Freakin'...!" I just loom at 'er, dude… "Why, no. Help."

...Retracting her hands, Ha-chan feels at her own fingers. "Woa~h. They're all slippery now…" That's the hair oils, friend. My natural defense system against females!

And- she brought her hand up to sniff it. Good. Well-

She gives her finger an experimental lick. Now that's a bit far- even if it's part 'a the scientific process, technically!

"Uuh." Merry looks worried for her! "Did you just, lick his hair grease…?"

...Ha-chan looks wayward and curious, dude. "Hair makes grease…? Can you cook with it?"

An' now Merry's just-... got this look of revelation. "...Wh- what." Wahaha~!

"So-... this round's-... just about over." Mystia just drawls from her own seat, having been strumming her guitar idly for awhile. "So in like… a bit, we'll get an announcement 'er somethin'..."

"Mmm~." Even Kyouko's just all chilled out, stroking a lock of her own poofy hair. "I should tell Hijiri-... I was eaten by a grue."

Mystia snorts! "Aw- yeah. Just tell 'er you've got a boy, she'll understand."

"You kidding me, Mysty…" She shakes her head back vigorously! "She'd pro'lly be more concerned about that then me spendin' all night playin' death metal. And, the whole… competition thing, really tones down the adrenaline between each performance… so it'd be double stupid if she got all mad about this one, of all the ones..."

"Fuck." Mystia went oof, dude.

...Approaching me, Ha-chan's expression is as blunt as it is inquisitive. "Hi." You are very fluffy.

"Do you have more?" She- whah. "Grease." Whah. Why.

"No." The bank of Brad is closed, son.

Ahp- ah, she encroaches on me anyway! And she- uh. Just shoves her face into my hair, and I get to make out the individual fibers of her shirt…!

Also, breasts. Like- really…

"You two…" Seija looks up from her melting position! "Are fucking disgusting."

...Ha-chan looks her way for a moment, before continuing to molest me, for only a moment more. "Huh." Yeah- huh. You learn anything new, Ha-chan!?

"Don't do that." Merry discourages molesting me! "You'll scare him." Pft- ho ho!

"Hehe!" Ha-chan does not at all take her seriously. "He smelled weird!" Freakin'-... good. "I dunno if grease really smells or not…" Why're we talkin' about my grease!? "My friends didn't smell like that…"

"Your friends probably comb once a year." Merry- please, be gentle! "And, use perfume, so they smell nice."

...Ha-chan smiles! "But, Brad smells nice…" What.

"I- no." At that, Merry draws the line! "Not possible. You're actually lying."

"But I'm not!" She half-pouts back! What lead to this, dude…? "You smell him!" Jesus Christ, Ha-chan, you're a freakin'... social destroyer! Like a battleship- except with wings!

...After giving me a look, Merry sighs. "I don't think I can. That's weird! You don't just smell people!"

"I do." Ha-chan is actually an evil mastermind, dude. "Just do this!" Getting up, she moves up to Merry…!

"Wh- hey, he~y…" Aw. Run Merry, run…

When in the nine fucks is the next round!? We've weeded out all the funny-bad contestants, and there's not many contestants left period! All that's left are the medium-tier mooks, and they're like a bad itch…!

Fwish! Hoh, shit! Aya's back! She blows through the curtain in a flash, joggin' up to us!

No one even responds to her at first, so I get up to uh-...

Aya gives a wary look to Merry, as Ha-chan sniffs her fluffy blonde hair. "...Right- so!" She faces me now! "We're up to the final!"

"Woo." I do a tiny jaunt in place, to embody everyone's excitement. "Wouldn't that be finals? Like, plural?"

...She winks at me. "Let's just say we had a few more contestants than we bargained for, and a certain sponsor donated a generous amount for us to respect the villager's bedtimes. But, she also wanted one last good performance to kick off the evening."

Hmm. That sounds… "What about like, the other contestants? Like, is everyone not in this single final? Ain't they gonna be a little-...?"

"Oh, they've already gotten rewards, and offers to schedule solo concerts of their own with free advertising, equipment, medical, and extra runner-up prizes." Holy shit. Who was this sponsor!? Wait- does that mean…

"I'm telling you all of this 'cause you're the lucky finalists!" Aya reveals… "That also means, you're gonna be up next!"

"Wh- what…?" Stumbling up from her seat, Mystia began to march over to us… "What was that?"

"You guys are up next." Aya gave her a smug look, for some reason…! "It'll probably also be the last show of the evening. Either way, you're getting rewarded for getting this far, or something. I'm a little blurry on the details, 'cause I'm just the messenger!"

"...Ah- what? Okay…" Mystia accepts this readily enough! "Wait, next? Where'd everyone else go?"

Not feeling like repeating herself, Aya let her gaze flick up… "Just, get out there in a bit and knock 'em dead, okay?"

Woo- woo- woosh! Woah! In a moment, she just like-... blurred outta the scene, like a freakin' living tornado.

"...Oh." At that, Mystia had little other choice than to do something!

Merry walks over to us, encumbered by a hug from Ha-chan… "He- he~lp."

"Hey, motherfuckers." Seija drifts over to us next! "Stop being motherfuckers."

Ooh! And then Mystia took off, towards the empty space in the back of our booth-lot-place-area.

"Everyone!" She calls out to us! "Up next- it's the last performance, I think! Get ready for it- really quick!"

Hoh, shit. Time to go- lug up my keyboard…!

"Um- what…" Merry, despite awkwardly shambling along with us and looking pretty during the last filler performances, still looks kinda lost! Also, Ha-chan let go of her, so now she was also lonely. "Already…?" Whaddaya mean already…!?

"Timely." Futo stands up, beginning to levitate her koto thing. "This deal reeks of peculiarity."

"You reek." Seija annihilates her, dude!

"...Is being a cunt thy livelihood?" Futo gives her a vain stare back! "Well, I know it is so, yet, I too wonder if anything bounces around, in that horned skull of thine."

"...Lots of questions, actually." Ooh. Seija doesn't start this position of hers with an assertive tone. "Questions like, 'how much of a cunt do you have to be to call people cunts', and, 'what cunt takes this long to realize I'm a cunt'. Then I just realized, you probably know your way around cunts."

"Every second of thee is agony." Futo is bein' freakin' raw with her! "Thou-... if I were an unkind soul, I'd-... ha~h…" Stoppin' herself, she just exhales. "Look. I just-... thou tires me."

"That's the fucking point." Seija gives her a faint nod.

"Hey, motherfuckers." Mystia immediately uses Seija's own line against her. "Stop being motherfuckers. We got a show in-"

Vrrrr~. The thick sliding door of doom begins to open!

"-now." Finishin' her sentence, Mystia lumbers ahead… "C'mon. Hope everyone has everything."

"I have my triangle!" Ha-chan holds up her thingie, and her wand I bought her!

"Got my board!" The board of keys. Does not work as a blade, dude.

Kyouko bustles past me with her microphone, looking ever tiny and huggable. Seija and Futo seem to have agreed to disagree for now, and Merry's freakin' grazing over towards us like a lost friend…

Climbing onto the short stairs to the stage with Mystia, Kyouko looks back down at us! "...I just wanted to say, tonight's been really fun with you guys!" Ooh.

Mystia chuckles. "Awh, it ain't over yet. Don't go gloatin' 'till we win, yeah?"

"Ye!" I raise my keyboard as high as I can- which is, not… very high…

"Yeah!" Merry pumps a fist into the air, despite only being here a few hours!

An' this incites Ha-chan to do it, too! "Yeah!"

...Futo sighs, again. "T'is been a change of pace."

Kyouko pivots to her, and pouts!

...This just makes Futo shake her head. "What is expected of me? Our camaraderie is weak, and I personally dislike a number of you."

"Read the mood, dick." Seija elbows her, and she freakin' takes it like an impact! "...I wouldn't be sitting around yawning with you all, if it weren't for the music and all the shit there is to bitch about. And don't fuck with us, what's-your-face, you like bitching, too."

...Futo seemed to pause at the 'what's-your-face' remark, but just let the verbal manhandling slide off this time. "Well, I take pleasure in critiquing where I may, perhaps… and vigorously so. But, it is most fulfilling when those I instruct are of a more-"

Pap! "Eah!?" Futo yelps, 'cause Seija slapped her on the back!

"Five hundred words or less, verbose hoe." Verbose hoe. That is-... a creative insult!

"This was pretty cool." Mystia turns away, as she marches out onto the stage. "Now- c'mon!"

Sated by the vaguely affectionate-... well, vaguely tolerant display between the two girls, Kyouko bounds behind her. Now we all gotta book our asses out there!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

We're all on stage, now…

The moon's high in the night sky, the-... let's see, how many of us are there? Is there like seven? Holy fuck. I counted wrong last time- there's seven of us! We ain't just a band, we're a platoon!

As the moon sits high, the seven of us are all set up down here, ready to freakin' blow each other's ears out.

Across the stage, slowly but surely, our competition gets set up. Aw- and who're the competition, one might wonder, dude…?

By 'gets set up'. I mean, the Prismriver Sisters stare us the fuck down…! Those spritely smiles are not of this mortal plane, son…

Thump, thump. At the back of their stage, Raiko gives her big drum some experimental thwacks with a mallet thing. Yeah- I gotta compete with an actual youkai of drumming shit. I don't even have a drum! I'm usin' a keyboard- and their actual keyboarder is a freakin'- aa~h, aaa~h!

Twi- twing- twi- twi- twi~ng. I guess they looked to even the numbers or something. They got uh… Raiko's Donald and Goofy wit' 'em! What were their names again!? I freakin' forgot!

So that's six to our seven. I don't think Raiko is equal to me, Ha-chan, and Merry combined even, let alone the Prismrivers…!

"He~y, everybody!" Aya's voice blares over the-... the fabric of reality…! "Are we all ready-... to watch the final two bands of tonight!?"

...Oh, boy. In the audience, I can see like-... Sanae, Hina, some noobs, a boy or two, Kagerou- all the people who got paid off by a 'sponsor' basically!

Regardless, the audience roars! S'a little curious to stare into, but not too hard since I'm not the very center of attention.

"He- hey…" Kyouko's got her brows raised at our competition! "Uuh…"

"It'll be fine." Mystia gave her a good nod. "Long as no one cocks it up. And, as long as we're defendin', probably."

True to her hopes, Aya announces it! "The defending band here will be~... Choujuu Gigaku! That was not a random decision, either! It's only fair, after all!"

I like how deflated Akyuu and Rinnosuke look at this point. Aya's goin' strong for the obvious reasons, said reasons being tenguology, dude.

Heavin' a sigh of relief, Kyouko steps about in place… "Phew…"

Ho~h. I scan the starry night sky, the freakin'-... it's so bright. It almost has color of its own now, holy shit. What a night! Aah-...

To the right of both stages, I spy someone floating in the air, seated. It's kinda dark, so I can hardly make out who the hell-... s'that Yukari? Ooh.

Awful big showing for literally 'goons versus gods'!

"Seven versus six, hu~h?" Lyrica darts towards the front of their stage… "Hardly seems fa~ir…"

"Hehehe~!" Oh, god. Merlin just giggles.

"Now, be nice…" Lunasa holds a hand to her own cheek, givin' us a weirdly pitying expression…! "They worked hard to get here. And, they get to set the starting pace. It'd be silly to think they're not prepared, for this moment."

Hoh. We-... are actually prepared. Shocking thought, innit…

Merry drifts nearer to Mystia and Kyouko… "Um. Should I… do anything?"

Briefly facin' her, Kyouko looks ahead again right away. "Aah… anything you think'll help."

"Don't fuck up." Mystia stacks the pressure on her!

"Aah…" Aw. Merry's apprehensive, dude.

Standing up in her booth, Aya continues to yell! "Standing against them… is the Prismriver Tsukumogami Joint Ensemble! Sponsored by a number of local businesses, including but not limited to the Golden Grin!"

A gap in space opens over the six girls before us, the azure eyes darting about, only lit by the reflections of stage light beneath them, as they're unreachable by the overhead lights.

Dropping in from above, Yukari shows up, twirling a little pink microphone in one hand. "Hello, hello, everyone!"

...The audience's rowdiness settles down at her appearance! Aw, I just saw Yuugi in the crowd, dude. I suppose it'll be awhile before the beer up here gets 'er drunk, if at all!

"...Seems like the sponsor will be joining them, even!" Aya seems surprised!

Flicking a wide lock of her hair back, Yukari floated forward in the air… "Every good band needs a vocalist, doesn't it?"

"No." Lyrica faces her plainly. "...Not really."

...Yukari just gives 'er a wry smile! "Aaw. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, dear. Besides, I've been singing karaoke for this day, you know."

"That- doesn't inspire me…" Lyrica's not having any of her, dude. "Well, you paid for all of this, so whatever."

Despite me not having a huge role, I'm kinda nervous! Oof…

So now it's seven versus seven. Who would win: a gap demigod who assisted in the creation of Gensokyo and the spell card system, or one poofy girl with a suitcase!?

Slowly, the audience quiets down… for realsies, into relative silence.

"So…" Aya smirks down at us…! "Out of curiosity… what song'll you be playing, Choujuu Gigaku?"

"Choujuu Gigaku~." Akyuu mumbles from her judge stand, half-asleep. Aya faces her apprehensively…!

"Um-... ah…" Kyouko collects herself, talkin' to freakin' everybody. "This song is called-... 'Through the Fire and Flames'!"

"Aah. How cliche…" Lyrica is mean, dude.

"Right?" I think that was that freakin' chick, Benben!

...Lunasa doesn't seem to agree, though, yo. "There's not really anything wrong with it. Be respectful, you two."

Little do they know, dude. The unholy wrath they will incite from our band!

"Is everyone ready~!?" Aya calls out to us all!

...We've pretty much all said our pieces, now's just the calm before the storm! Our devices are all pretty much set up, plugged in and all the fun stuff.

"Don't let me stop you, then." Aya- you made us all freakin'... almost false start- "Go!"

...There's a brief moment, and then-

Vrrm! Mystia plays her first strum, an' Futo instantly begins pluckin' away at her koto in the back.

Vrrr~! Vrrm! Vrvrvrm! Each of Mystia's initial plucks is simple and loud, seemingly throwing the girls across the stage off-guard at first. In the background, Futo's dancing notes are challenged by the string sisters across the way. The brown-haired one even makes the same sounds as a koto!

Vrm- vrm- vrm. Then the noob-tier notes are over, son.

Like a freakin' wall, Mystia's fingers roll across the strings as she plucks at freakin' lightspeed, accelerating the pace even more abruptly than the very start!

It took Lunasa a moment to rebound her playing to the new pace, her violin's whining noticeable…!

Vrerere~r! Mystia lets a hand slide up, the guitar makin' that alternating whining sound to signal the next thing...

Across the gap, over the opposing stage, Yukari does not at all seem phased yet.

Time to use my keyboard like a keyboard real quick- gotta do the synth shit, aah...

"On a cold winter morni~ng!" Kyouko calls into her microphone! And now- gotta switch my board on back to drums-

"In the time before the light! In flames of death's eternal reign, we ride towards the fight!" Oh- shit, Yukari sings along with her, into her own microphone! How Yukari enunciates the words is also pretty different…

"When the darkness is falling down, and the times are tough alri~ght," Ha-chan's triangling works in the place of some of my drumming, since the keyboard can only do so much as I mash keys to the beat. "The sound of evil laughter falls around the world toni~ght!" Lyrica's keyboard's pretty rockin' though!

"Fufufu~..." Oh shit- Yukari followed up with an evil laugh…!

The combined wind from our amps is billowing through the dresses of the girls ahead! "Fighting hard, fighting on for the steel, through the wastelands evermo~re!"

"The scattered souls will feel the hell, bodies wasted on the sho~re!" Her microphone floating before her, Yukari drifts higher into the air, letting her arms flourish out.

PATAT- PATAT- PATAT! There's a roar of generic, blue arrow danmaku- stopped for the most part by our billowing winds. "On the blackest plains, in Hell's domain, we watch them as they go~!"

Oh shit, there's some streams weaving through the wind towards some of us! They're to the beat of Raiko's cymbal hits, since she just pulled whatever cymbals she needed out of the aether. It's a lot better sounding than my midi drums, s'for sure…!

WOOSH! Rolling past me in the air, Seija stops a stream with her stolen umbrella, using it to tank a stream of like, dude-sized danmaku swooshes.

"Through the fire and pain and once again we kno~w!" Kyouko gets even louder!

PATAT- PATAT- PATAT! But- the streams don't end despite her work, and our wind! Woahoa- woah-

Fwam! Futo stops some shots from meeting our percussion fairy with her body. "Nngh…!"

"So now we fly ever free~!" Yell, Kyouko, yell! You're louder than Yukari's- Yukariness! "We're free before the thundersto~rm!"

Fwoash- fwoash! Oh, god, our stereos are healing us as we get chipped away at, apparently-

FWAM! Ow- ow- oww- that hit me-

FWAM! Mystia eats a bullet to keep Kyouko singing right! Holy shit!

"On towards the wilderness, our quest carries on!" Suddenly, Kyouko needs some fancy footwork to not get beaned in the head…! And- I'm better now, 'cause these stereos are like regen on steroids…!

"Far beyond the sundown!" The Prismrivers are spreading out on the other stage, makin' a big triangle of light between one another…!

"Far beyond the moonlight!" Yukari's too composed in her singing to really level with Kyouko's pace, at this point! So she drifts behind the Prismrivers, the other instrument girls forming an orbit around her- holy shit!

"Deep inside our hearts, and all our sou~ls!" Kyouko really winds it up, and so does Mystia's stringin'!

Altogether, it's a bit too unpredictable for the other girls to just wing all the unique bits first time!

"So far awa~y, we wait for the da- a~y! For the lives all, so wasted and go~ne!" The flourishing intensity of our instruments begins to make their orchestral ensemble shudder!

VZRT- VRRRM- FWII~...! Oh, shit, the light of their formation is bouncing around, between every wire, and Yukari's turning purple dude-

"We feel the pa~in of a lifetime, lost in a thousand days!" With her bellow, Kyouko rolls away, as does Mystia, both doin' barrel rolls mid-air-

VRRRRR~! Waaho~ly shit! A big, thin laser cut across our stage, traveling as the embodiment of many overlapped music notes, so tightly packed that it's just an angular poker of doom-

Pap! Snapped from her mystification, Maribel pushes Ha-chan out of the way. "Mm- move-"

KABOO~M! Wohohoa~h! Yukari- don't go offin' yourself ya freakin' lunatic! Merry just got mulched for what it's worth…!

Vhir- vhir- vhir! And- no Touhou pattern's complete with some renegade beams that nearly fuck you up but choose not to. Hoh-

woosh. Wait- what. Where am I!?

Seija's face is right next to me! "You're a fuckin' sitting duck- you know that!?" Hi.

woosh. Oh- she like, did a cloth thing and hid both of us at once. What'd she protect me from!?

"Through the fire and the flames, we carry on!" Kyouko lives! We've taken a few spots to an instrument here or there 'cause of these freakin' doom beams, but so far we're doin' okay!

We've got a short but kickass solo, now, so Kyouko can reposition herself and stuff…

The opposin' stage isn't so unified anymore, and the individual gem-type bullets shot by the sisters are… kinda friendly enough right now to not hurt bad!

"Hey- thanks." You're welcome, Seija. But why, though? Wait-

Lookin' back as I 'drum' wit' my keys, I see she's nicked one 'a my potions and moved up to Merry!

"Nn- nnh…" Woah- she's crying!? Albeit, standing, somehow. "Oh- oww…"

Thunk. Seija thrusts potion into her face! "Drink."

Across us, the other band talks, before our solo ends abruptly!

vuvum- vuvum- vuvum… There's a short, weird pulsin' sound from Seija's guitar, dude.

"As the red day is dawning," Kyouko begins once more, Mystia's dancing strums accompanying her. "And the lightning cracks the sky!"

FWISHI~NG! A roof of prism-like energy hangs over the opposite stage…!? "They raise their hands to the heavens above, with resentment in their eyes!"

Vree~r! These chords, dude!

Woosh! Air thrusts out from our stage, and we can see the audience recoil even!

Her hair a freakin' ragin' storm, Yukari's now at the forefront of their stage, as if proving she can fight the wind. Ho~h!

"Running back through the mid-morning light, there's a burning in my hea~rt!" Oo~h!

As Kyouko sings, I see Merry dash up to the forefront of our stage, trying to weave past the bullets all aimed at Kyouko, 'cept she's on foot!

"We're banished from the time in the fallen land, to a life beyond the stars!" Kyouko spins around, Mystia moving before her-

FWAM! They fire a single, big blue orb…!

Thud! Merry drops into a roll, to escape a violent and sporadic musical note! "Nn- nnh…!" She's had ta leave her suitcase behind, just- she's got a plant hanger out, dude!

"In your darkest dreams, see to believe, our destiny is time!" Holy shit Kyouko!

FWOA~M! Once the blue orb reaches the opposing stage, it explodes into a wash of grey and faintly luminescent magic-

KA- KLICK! Woah-... a few of them got frozen in time!

"And endlessly, we'll all be free toni~ght!" Ho ho ho~! But- some of them aren't stopped! Like Yukari.

"And on the wings of a drea~m!" Merry's at the forefront of our stage, swinging her dinky metal scrap at passing bullets! "So far beyond reality!"

On the opposing stage, Yukari draws her parasol from her gap, and gives it a swing-

WOOSH. Holy shit- the wind's all come back at us-!

FWAM! A chunk of rubies sends Futo flying! "Ega~gh!?"

BAM- BAM- BAM! Skidding through shots, Seija whirls up towards Merry-

"All alone in desperation, now the time has gone!" Droppin' in from above, Kyouko bellows back, our wind pickin' up again! Crystals of many kinds blow past 'er, and Mystia's hanging behind her, tryin' to weave through the clumps-

"Kaugh- kauf- uunh…" Suddenly, Merry's looking beat the fuck up again, her body jolted and shuddering…

Stopping her from falling back with a knee, Seija snakes anotha', open potion bottle inta her mouth. "Ffh…"

"Lost inside, you'll never find!" Seija grabs onto her once it's mostly down…! "Lost within my own mind!"

bwoop! Seija roars back, and passes straight through our back wall, an empty gap revealed there. Yo…!

"Day after day, this misery must go o~n!"

bwoop! Now in the middle of their stage, Seija plops Maribel on her feet.

Lookin' freakin' alive, Merry tosses her gaze around. Merlin and Benben are lost in time, Yatsuhashi- the brown girl I believe- is currently just with Lyrica an' Lunasa, and Raiko is eternally smug, still where she always was the entire fight-performance-thing.

"So far awa~y, we wait for the da- a~y!" As Merry stumbles into the midst of their stage, Yukari descends, rotating perfectly with the shape of her own dress to leer down at her…!

"For the lives all so wasted and go~ne!" Oh, man, the wind's just roaring through Merry, too! She's got to walk a little to keep up, while Yukari's just there…!

Bounding up alongside her, Seija shoots Yukari the middle finger amongst the music!

"We feel the pain of a lifetime, lost in a thousand days!" Sorta beckoningly, Yukari twirls around her shut umbrella… an' says somethin' I can't hear or read!

"Through the fire and the flames, we carry on!" Taking some kind of stance- a sorta me-tier sloppy stance, Merry readies her plant hanger like it was a weapon…!

And now, it's a huge solo. S'time for Mystia to just unload!

Seija speaks to Yukari, dude, before-

Woosh. She draws a huge ass golden mallet from her ass or something!

From our stage, there's just a freakin', ton of wind roaring out at them, but it seems like it starts to divert around Yukari and the two fer some reason...

The bombastic, pulsing strums of Mystia's come to an impasse.

"Woa~h, oo~h, oo~h…" Kyouko gets ready to prompt the next solo! Yeah- we got a lot 'a those, 'cause the original song did…! "Woa~h, oo~h, oo~h…"

"Really…" Oh, shit! Yukari turned her microphone back on, or somethin'! "Fufufu. I suppose I'll grant you a taste, then."

"Woa~h, oo~h, oo~h…" This time, she raises her umbrella, and then- she just flicks it around between her fingers, whipping it around by the base handle like she were flickin' a pencil about!

"You- don't scare me!" Merry bellows back at her! She must've realized Yukari had power like hers, at this point, too…!

As was agreed, I do that real nice, pixel-y drag of my fingers across the keyboard, set to another neat instrument 'a some kind… "Woa- ooa- hou~h- hou~h…"

An' that's when Mystia begins another throbbin' strumbeat, and I mash a thumpin' drumbeat to keep the rhythm as best I can!

It's also when the fuckin' Dark Souls fight in the middle of the enemy stage begins. Not one 'a the girls above are frozen in time anymore, but they've got enough respect ta leave Yukari's thing well enough alone during this solo…!

Woosh! Woosh! Seija keeps Yukari busy with big, sweeps of her mallet of doom-

Thunk! Woah. We could hear Merry strike Yukari in the ribs with her freakin' chip bag-sized plant hanger!

WOOSH. Yukari brings her umbrella across the air once-

"Nngh…!" Despite not even getting hit, Seija goes sliding away!

Whack! Leaping, Merry awkwardly clipped the side of her head. "Aah…!"

Smiling, Yukari panned her attention over to the freakin' mini-her who was bonking her, before reeling her umbrella back. Like- like golf club style!

And now Mystia's playing a new freakin'... how do you describe a like, three-minute long solo!? It's goin' all kinds'a crazy places!

WOOSH! Merry like fell into Yukari to dodge the swing, falling past the taller chick's legs with wide eyes!

WHACK! Seija hit Yukari with a broad swing, but she like, just took it…! "Nn- nhn…" Aw. She groaned a little-

FWAM- BAM! With a thrust of her arm, some kinda arrow thing shot out, sending Seija- like… wow. Seija fuckin', ragdolled across the stage!

"Ha~h!" Leaping, Merry cleaved down-

CLANK! Held by both knuckle-white, awkwardly formed fists, Merry managed to unleash hell upon Yukari's head.

The only thing betraying damage was how it made her head kick back a little, before springing right back to where it was! "Such a naive, little-"

Vree~r! Mystia's guitar echoes into the evening, as she adopts a freakin' cross-legged posture in the air-

An' then she gets a moment, where it's just her. The beats slow for a moment so she can have a complete, solo experience!

Vreer- reer- reer! An' she makes her own weird, bouncy noise!

THU- THU- THUNK- THUNK- THUNK! Before our entire stage, a wall of stereos and amps drop from above, stacking and creating a- like, it's not a metaphor, we've built a wall of sound amplifying and projection devices!

Thu- thud! "Ha- anh…" Rolling away from one of Yukari's swings- "Unh…" Merry ends up just on her back.

Yukari smiles warmly down at her, raising a heel. "Now, dear-"

Whack! An umbrella identical to hers bounces off her face, having met one of her eyes with pinpoint accuracy. "Shi- augh…"

CLACK! Her red heel stomps down next to Merry's stomach, letting her scramble away. "Ah- ahah…!" She giggles nervously!

"Hahaha~!" Seija marches forwards like an undying soldier, dude! "Drafty bi~tch!"

Yukari's glare whips to her, and she throws a hand from her face, her bloody eye revealed.

bwoomp. A gap opens above-

WHABAM- CRACK- THOOM! Rocketing from above, a vending machine roars into Seija…! Despite the swing of her hammer to meet it, she was sent skidding away in a sprawl, her hammer separated, and the machine freakin' half-bent…!

Mystia's strums sound celebratory now, powerful and overwhelming, but also constant and playful! Freakin'- nothing else like it even comes to mind from that description…!

WOO- WOO- WOOSH. Spinning around, Yukari brings her umbrella all around-

CLACK! Aw- shit! Merry got sweeped- du~de!

Flying off of her feet, Merry was tossed onto her side mid-air, before-

Thud. "Nn- nh- ngh…!" She ended up on her side, next to the umbrella of Seija's…

"My." I think that blow to the eye kinda tested Yukari's nerves…! "You can never have a little fun, without-"

Throwing herself back onto her legs, Merry stares down at the umbrella she'd claimed in her other hand, eyes wide…

WOOSH! Yukari also flicks her own umbrella overhead! It's no graceful swing- it's literally just cleavin' her one arm forward to crush Merry with it-

bwoop! When Merry thrust the hanger up to stop the swing, and grazed the air behind herself with the umbrella, a gap opened from its tip, claiming her. "Aa- ah…!"

Clack. Yukari struck the wood under her, a strike that made such little impact or sound that ya know it was supposed to hit. Yukari wouldn't just gib her, after all! I don't think that's allowed by the universe…!

Vu~m. The speakers before us start to hum to life…!

"Now here we stand, with their blood on our hands…" Kyouko actually drops onto her knees for these lyrics!

"Bloo~d on our ha~nds!" Blooming through the big stereos, Ha-chan provides the most metal accompaniment possible, floating up to help her…!

bwoomp! Above the stage, past the instrument girls tryin' hard to keep up…! Someone appeared!

"We fought so hard, now can we understand…" Kyouko calls up, almost to her!

Merry and Seija are above the stage, Seija holdin' her tight overhead as she falls face-down towards the wood, Merry therefore… technically upright as she falls!

"Aau~. We understa~nd!" Ha-chan's singing's ironically so freakin' good! Holy crap! So cuddly du~de!

Yukari peers up, her bloody eye already regenerated. Above her, the Prismrivers and the Tsukumogami sisters are all beginning to hang back, the occasional blooming boom from the stack of freakin' vibrating stereos- now held up by Futo- pushin' against them…

"I'll break the seal of this curse, if I possibly can…" Kyouko lets herself have a melancholic slouch as she sits on her knees, staring ahead into the audience… "For freedom of every man!"

WHAM! Seija rebounds offa' Lyrica, sending them spiralling to the side-

THUMP! Raiko guards herself wit' a big drum, and then they clip Merlin an' accidentally blow her away! "Auh- woaa~h!"

"So far awa~y, we wait for the da- a~y!" Closing closer and closer, Merry brings her umbrella and metal hanger together, her eyes freakin' maniacally wide from how freakin' crazy that shit must be…! "For all the lives all so wasted and go~ne!"

"We feel the pain of a lifetime, lost in a thousand days! Through the fire and the flames, we carry o~n!" Kyouko pumps her fist into the air! Yeheha~h!

Now the guitaring is coming from the stereo wall itself, and- holy shi~t that's lou~d!

An' then we're here, the final, string-only constant plucks of Mystia's guitar, as a wind of doom freakin' annihilates a few audience members as it makes the opposing stage shake entirely…!

Vree~r! Vrr- vrarr- vra- vra- vra- vram! Mystia plays the final note.

Woosh. Yukari swings-

Seija flips back, up and away from Merry and the umbrella's swing that would have cleaved her, as if gravity came undone fer her.

Sent down like a torpedo, the wind vibrating her entire body as she arced in at an awkward angle, Merry strokes both the metal and the cloth-clad umbrella across Yukari, a gap rending itself open from her swing as she does so.

FWAa~sh… Everything goes white, that's how fucking metal this concert was, dude.

"Only now, have I truly won…" Yukari…!? That voice was-... was it Yukari?

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

As the light fades, Yukari ra-adjusts her mob-cap. "Oww~. That hurt, you know…" Freakin'...!

KABOO~M! Woah- shit! The wall of stereos just fuckin' exploded!

Yukari looks up fer a moment, and then waves an arm.

bwoomp. She gapped away a stray stereo meant for her face.

Merry's just bluntly lying on the floor before her, before pushing herself up. The umbrella was gone somewhere, and as she rose, she was able to just grab onto the hanger…

Oh- Seija's back on our stage, with the umbrella. Under her breath, she sighs. "Phew. Nearly fuckin' lost this." Her big priority was keeping her umbrella, apparently…!

I am freakin' tired, now. The- the magic drop-not potion thing's pro'lly run out, it's like-... four in the morning. Oo~f...

Dusting off her shoulder, Yukari lets out a breath. "For an outsider, that was quite impressive. Most impressive, even."

"Th- thanks…" Merry just sorta stands-

Woah! The audience claps! ...It's real loud, too! I don't got a way to onomatopoeia it, but take my word fer it!

Oo- oh, no, dude. Kyouko's just, havin' a relax on the ground!

"Nnh…" Oh wait, there she goes, gettin' back up! "Woo~!"

There's somethin' about how similar Yukari and Merry are to one another, both in costume style and in uh… a lot of things! Like hair, and powers...

"By- by thegods…" Futo freakin'... aw. She's freakin' exhausted lookin'!

Thunk. She finally plops her koto down, after having brought it around telekinetically with herself the whole time. Shakily, she drops into a cross-legged position. "Ha~h…"

...Driftin' back down, Ha-chan lets out a breath herself. "Thah-... wo~w…"

I'm not nearly as winded as everyone else, havin' just done some spot-dodgin' from my freakin' keyboard thing, but… y'know, this cold air's actually really helpful! Even though, I bet the village's like, ten degrees warmer than everywhere else, right now. Everyone's real worked up…!

Turning around, Ha-chan sees me! And- unf…! Freakin'- she's really warm…

After she rush-hugs me, I'm buried in her shoulder, and... she smells good, actually. "Mmm~!" Her hug is tight, too. She mumbles a little. "So-... warm…" Warm fairy.

Fwa- zap! Woah…! She abandoned her triangle before glompin' me apparently, and it just now exploded inta sparks on the ground behind her! Freakin'-

She floats up just a little, and her body shifts against mine, my nose buried in her sorta wet shoulder…

"Fuu~..." Clumsily, Mystia takes off her guitar, and lets out a breath. "Hell yeah…"

The audience is eventually quelled by Aya's microphone-swallowing! "Well! Well- aa~h…!" It takes her a moment of talking into it to make 'em stop, though! "That was something, wasn't it!?"

"Very…" Pokin' his glasses up by the rim with his palm, Rinnosuke gave us all a good nod. "By comparison to some of their previous performances, that may be their best yet."

"I've never heard anything quite like that…" Akyuu has been introduced to rock 'n' roll, dude! "There's something to be said about the skill of some of their performers…" Uh oh…! She might not be lookin' at me, but she might as well be…

Leaning back, Aya takes in a breath… "It was really different! And, I think we all needed that energy boost, this late in the evening!"

"All that energy, left me tired afterward…" Akyuu is once more snug and wayward, dude. "It's more like the song… simply drew it from us, in effect."

Leaning forward, Rinnosuke exhaled at that. "I suppose it's different, for everyone. Myself, this performance deserves a ten."

"Eight seems ri~ght." Aya supposes! "And you, Akyuu-chan?"

...Becoming suddenly stern, Akyuu decides! "I'll give that a solid nine."

I just realized, but what's the actual point in rating our performance…!? Wasn't this the finale!?

Wha- ah, aw. Ha-chan moves her face before mine, and it's all red and stuff…

"Hi." She's like a freakin' cat, dude. Adventurous and blunt…!

"Mmm..." Wh- aw. It really fucking looked like she was going for a kiss, but instead she just awkwardly nuzzled her cheek into mine…! Why's she so excited…!? Maybe it was the music…

...Ooh! Yukari's floatin' over to us, between the stages!

Trying to follow her, Merry leaps off the opposite stage, landin' hard then joggin' after her. "Ha- aah…"

From the seats of judging, the judges judge judgmentally, again. Startin' with Aya! "The Prismrivers performed the best they could, but… I don't think they were ready for something that intense!"

Everyone except Raiko was not ready! After all of that, Raiko is still just where she was, looking smug. Ooh- she's comin' here after us now, too! In fact, all the chicks are…!

"Hnn- ah…!" Merry climbs onto our stage like a freakin' monkey! "Ge- geez…"

Yukari steps up ta me and Ha-chan, lookin' casual… as casual as she can look, that is. Stopping, she seems to wait for Merry.

Fer a few moments, I just watch Kyouko an' Mystia convene, and Futo freakin' cool down…

Where'd Seija go, anyway…!? She- she's actually just gotten the fuck outta dodge!

"While this was not as graceful as anticipated…" Yukari gave Merry a curtsy. "Welcome to Gensokyo."

Freakin'... I get myself and Ha-chan towards them by doin' the mambo wit' 'er! "Yo- where was my dumb intro fight and Gensokyo welcome wagon…!?"

...Yukari just gives me a plain stare. "We played chess. Why, aren't games what you are best at?" Hoh- shit…!

"Who are you?" Catching up to us, Merry gets confrontational with the poofy gap lady! "Why can you-... use gaps?"

"Oh…" Smiling smugly, Yukari just tilts her head back 'n' forth. "Well… why can you?"

...Merry's staggered by the question for a moment, before furrowin' her brows. "But- you use it so much-... more potently, than I do."

"That doesn't mean that I know your condition." I want to say Yukari is totally bullshitting here. "Why, not every fire mage knows why other fire mages are what they are."

"But- it's different…" Brows furrowed further, Merry shook her head… "Unless, you're tellin' me boundary manipulation… is like normal magic, here."

Yukari pursed her lips. "...Oo~h. Well, it could be." Son.

Merry blinks! "Wouldn't you know…!?"

Aw. "Yukari- when am I gettin' my boundary elemental plant hanger…!?" I want to think with portals!

"It is not like normal magic, fortunately." This entices Yukari to reveal the truth, dude! "Why, if it was, the fabric of our universe would be undone. That is not to say-... well, I won't bore you with the details." She shifts her dress about in an attempt to be snuggly, but she can't be snuggly, 'cause she's Yukari.

"Wha- what do you mean…?" This kinda talk made Merry even more alarmed! "Is it really that powerful?"

"Yes." I nod. "You will gain the power to drop vending machines from the sky at will. And then, the world will know true fear…!"

Merry snorts! "...You know- that's actually pretty powerful…"

"Don't go giving her ideas, now." Whenever Yukari says something, I always feel like it has twenty million different meanings.

...Aw. Around us, I can see the Prismrivers and the floofy instrument girls getting familiar with the other girls.

"Nn- nn." Ha-chan lets out fairy coos, as she shifts to look around as well, instead of just freakin' smushing against me. Her sweat's cooled a bit, so now she's all chilly to touch! And soon, she'll probably get cold… "I- I'm cold!" Oh shit, dude!

"Nice playing…" Yatsuhashi drifts up to Futo gingerly… "Perhaps we should play together some time?"

"Oh, please…" Her lilac-haired sister gives 'er a tried look. "Control yourself."

Futo snorts at 'em. "Ah, ah…? Stave thyselves. Innocent types ye may be, deserving of the prince's mercy, ye may not."

...Yatsuhashi looks back at her sister! "She even speaks-... in old!"

"I don't think that's a positive thing." Aw. Benben just shakes her head, dude. This is the most screen time these characters will ever get in anything ever at any time.

"I'm a koto too, you know." Yatsuhashi-... wait, she's a what now. "You seem quite familiar with me!"

...Futo actually seems to pause at this!

Meanwhile, Mystia meets with the big noobs, dude…

Lunasa gives her a smile, an' a nod. "That was something admirable. Perhaps we have more to learn than I'd have thought…"

Folding her arms, Lyrica frowns, dude. "Really, now? You're going to kiss up to them like that? To a performance like that…?"

"It was awesome!" Merlin really enjoyed it, though! "So loud- and, the-... sharp noises, on my ears- it was so cool! I haven't heard instruments like those before!"

"The sharp noises were why it was so grating!" Lyrica contested! "...But- the overall composition- hrrm…" Plagiarism is-... bestgiarism, dude.

...I turn back ta Yukari, who Merry is just starin' down.

"I will say…" She's got a fan before her face! "This reality has been altered. I cannot say for certain in what way, however."

...Merry's just stopped askin' 'what' or 'why'. Pretty sure it's implicit from her totally blown away expression…!

"Fufufu…" Yukari does her chuckle thing behind her fan! "It is unimportant, surely."

"Can you, um…" Merry makes a tiny request… "Start saying things that make sense, for starters?"

"If I must…" Yukari allows her request, dude. "But, first…" An' then she drifts outta the way…

From above, Aya lets out one last call! "That's it for the concert! Goodnight, everyone!"

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

...An' then she was on the stage before us! The stars are high in the night sky, and the stage lights all around are startin' to flick off.

While everyone scrambles about, Aya closes in on us in particular. "Alri~ght! Well…" Stretchin' idly, she let out a sigh… "Tha~t took, awhile…"

"Hello, friend." Now that Ha-chan is simply loosely embracing me instead of molesting me, I can freely converse a bit better… "You are a bird."

"Wha- okay." Aya gives me a worried look…!

"Hey…!"

Jogging up to us, Mystia points at Aya! "What do we get- do we win…!?"

"Hehehe~!" Gigglin' at her fluffy assertiveness, she reveals! "...Well, there's not really any lose condition, at this point. But, I think you guys won!"

...This sentence made Mystia look a bit more distilled… "Aah."

"You guys'll be gettin' the reward…!" Ooh! We're gettin' a freakin' reward!? "In a few weeks." Aa- aah.

"Oh." That caught me off-guard, it did! "A few weeks, huh…"

Noddin', Aya props an arm onto her own hip. "Yeah. S'kinda a mess, but our sponsor there is taking care of it!" She points to Yukari! "...I dunno why she bought like half this concert setup, but she did!"

"Oh. It interested me." Yukari lies, dude. She's a liar dude! Well- actually not, but she may have omitted many or all of the details!

I don't actually care about the prizes, 'cause I got this neat costume! This freakin' leather kimono variant is pretty badass.

Seein' me look over it, Mystia got closer to me and Ha-chan's snugglefest. "That reminds me. Y'can't- you can't keep that kimono, by the way…"

"Aww." You know, I half expected that. "Why not…?"

"We only got so many, and they're not cheap." Mystia provides actual reasons why I can't keep it, even…! "And, you know, on the off-chance we actually find a new member…"

Comin' up to us next, Kyouko weighs in despite her half-dizzy status… "Aaw. Y'know Mysty- when we get the… reward, if it's money, we should mail him that outfit. After all, he's like-... of the people tanight, he is like, an honorary member…"

...Mystia just gives her a vaguely dry look! "I think you're drunk on music. But, you know… sure. He was the least disagreeable of everyone, tonight."

"Wh- what about me?" Merry looked a little offput, for some reason!

"You look like Yukari." Mystia argued…! "On that principle alone, I don't trust you."

"But…" Looking over to Yukari, Merry points to her! "I am not her! We just, um…" Looking down, Merry noticed how her dress was like… it was basically Yukari's, except way simpler.

Aw. Yukari gave her a small smile. "Nice dress, by the way."

Pap, pap. Mystia pats on my leather stuffs! "Hurry up and give me the thing before you run off with it." Wau~!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

We are now… off the stage, and amidst the people. Even thirty minutes later, a surprising amount of people lingered for some kinda after-party. It must be what, four in the morning, now?

Ha-chan shivers, her adrenaline from the music all gone! "Co- co~ld…!"

I cannot share that sentiment! 'Cause, around my body… is the toasty kimono of goodness, dude. S'actually a bit better for tonight than that leather one...

Merry an' Yukari are with us. Mystia took the goodies an' split, but Kyouko swore on her buddhist faith that she'd see we get our stuff 'n' things for participating, which was awful nice of her.

"It- it is cold…" Merry hugged herself, dude. "At least it's not raining. When I entered here, it was raining on the outside…"

...Raining on the outside, what the fuck- oh right, she means that outside! I forgot I was in Touhou fer a moment! Touhou- Gensokyo. Touhou Gensokyo, my favorite city and state…!

I'm freakin' tired. Freakin', frakin', fuck, dude.

Well- all 'a that was fun! I can't believe a single night's event took fifty million chapters, dude. Actually, lemme look around. Maybe Futo and- well, Seija's gone, and I already gave the fluffy two my goodbyes fer now. The question is if Futo even cares to meet with me…!

As we proceed down the road like walking loaves, we pass Raiko, the smug redhead chick wit' a neat white jacket…

"Hey." She playfully drifts up to us, dude… "That was some rather interesting percussion, you two had…"

"Hi." I am tired, do you not see, friend. "...Penny loaves." Percussion reminded me of penny loaves, dude.

"Does... a triangle and a keyboard count as percussion?" Intercepting before I could worry Raiko, Merry actually makes sense of the situation in my steed!

"Nnoo~." Aw…! She just, gives a long no to us, and a lukewarm expression. "You did your best! And, that is, some of what matters…" Friend, you injure our will to live.

"Drum presets on electric keyboards are good, dude." I defend my midi keyboard of destiny! I unfortunately was not allowed to keep it forever and steal it, as it was part of the twenty-million-speakers deal Mystia had with the lunar insanity complex. Aah, next time I swing by there, I can probably nick anotha' if I wanted…

The clearing beside the now-dark stages is surprisingly homey! Dim torch light, and a myriad 'a people drinkin' beer, existing…

Yukari steps before us as we faff about. "I know of a suitable residence, for the evening." Ah, yes. Lemme just- trust Yukari ta lead me to a suitable residence.

"Is that so…" Merry looks equally concerned! "I was told never to talk to strangers."

...Yukari lets 'er gaze flick up, fer a moment! "Mmh. A little late for that. Please, do not worry. If you can trust me enough to see the sponsorship rewards through to you, you can trust me enough to keep a roof over your head."

...I mean, she's kinda got a point!

"I suppose you're right…" Merry sees so, too. "Where is it, that you have in mind?"

"Hmhm. Follow me, you two." She actively glances over Ha-chan as she says this, before immediately discounting her existence…!

"Good lu~ck." Raiko gives us a plain wave, as we wander off! I dunno why, but this feels weird. Like, as if this is a completely bad idea, somehow. Maybe s'cause I just can't bring myself to trust Yukari…

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

In the end, it didn't really seem ta matter.

While we explored the interior of this very unused two-story house, Yukari stood in the doorway. "He~re you are. Isn't it cozy?"

Merry gives 'er a jaded look! "It's… really, really unused. There's hardly any furniture here."

"Mmm…" Warmly, Yukari looks into the air. "It is a summer home." Yeah- okay…!

"It looks boring." Ha-chan stares mournfully at the emptiness of this main room. "It is boring!"

This place was located well off the main roads, in one of the weird quadrant things of the village. Somewhere behind the school place, at any rate.

"Why…" Pacing into the room, Yukari gets closer to us…! "I was thinking, we could have a sleepover! Just the three of us!"

"Um-..." Merry looks worried! "How old are you, again?"

Giving her best impersonation of shyness, Yukari looks her over… "Why, I'm only seventeen. I'm younger than both of you." Son.

...I mean- realistically, looking over her inhuman body, she'd be at least like what, twenty-something? Freakin'...!

"Uh-huh." Merry just shakes her head at her. "Well, if you insist. No funny stuff, though. Actually- that goes for all of you!" Then she points at Ha-chan! "Especially you!"

Ha-chan brings her arms up all snuggly-like! "Aw-haw… hug." She progresses towards Merry for a hug!

CRA~CK! Woah! Yukari just- when'd her heel end up on Ha-chan's shoe!?

"Ee- yeo~w!" Hoppin' back on her good foot, Ha-chan held onto her leg…! "Ow- ow- oww~...!"

"...Why." Merry asks the best question for this situation.

"Tha- that hurt…" Oof. Ha-chan is not happy. "Ff- ow…" Jeez!

...Slowly, Yukari just pans her gaze over ta Merry, her fan before her face, and her eyes some unholy level of tired. "Fufu. I'm sorry. My foot slipped, and I lost track of my balance. I'm so clumsy~." She brought up a gloved hand, and gave her own head a playful knock. "Ehe~!"

This main room is… totally empty.

"But, yes, if you'd all please…" Slipping her own heels off, Yukari gestures to the front door- where the heels were now, 'cause she gapped them when we were moving our gaze to the door. "Leave your footwear by the door. Stay awhile."

Merry had already done that! An' I freakin' hate being in these boot things all the time, so I do that anyway. "Ah, sure…"

"I- I'm glad…" Ha-chan drawls, her voice a little strained 'cause she cried briefly. Oof. "I'm glad I didn't take 'em off… 'ca- 'cause you tried to stomp them."

"Accusing people isn't nice." Monotone, Yukari chides 'er. "In any case!"

Clack! A door slides open magically! An' then Yukari pads into it. "Let us have dinner, together."

Inside is a good dining table, some fluffy chairs, and an assortment of actual, good foods…

I step up to a plate of nuggets. "Well." This is fluffy.

"...Hmm." Sedated by the temptation of good foods, Merry grazes into the room, too. "Who made all of this? This really feels like a stereotypical, bad-ending fairy tale…!"

"Yes, you are both dinner, get in the oven." Yukari makes fun of her…! "Plea~se. If I wanted both of you dead, it would have happened already."

Merry's eyes narrow fer just a moment, but then she nods… "Well, I guess you could drop vending machines on us." Hoh.

Cautiously, I eat a nugget. It's good, dude…

...Slowly, me and Merry just stand and peck at the food instead of actually sit down! Merry got some generic person foods that I don't really care about. I like this pile of nuggets more.

Yukari's brows curl up in mystification…! "Please, sit down. The chairs are not rigged to explode, I promise."

"No, dude." I shake my head at her! "They are, dude!"

"I just feel like standing." Merry contests! "...As in- really. I'm kinda restless, for some reason." And I am restlessness embodied, dude!

Lettin' out a sigh, Yukari reclined in the air… "And here I went through the trouble of finding the finest chairs."

Takin' this moment… I freakin' ogle Yukari. She's really freakin'... lewd, in body! Y'don't get this moment often, and I especially won't get many moments to look up fanart of her in awhile, so I'm gonna take this moment, dude.

Her eyes meet mine. I stare into her soul.

"Gensokyo is full of many interesting sights…" I'm not sure if Yukari starts speaking on the topic of me staring into her boobs, but she does anyway! "What was your name?" She refers ta Merry…

"Maribel." Merry is a maribel, dude.

"I think they'll be to your liking." Yukari's just so confident, dude. "Then again, who am I to decide for you?"

Meanwhile, Merry takes one of my many nuggets, and eats it. "Mmh…"

Ha-chan is just being restlessly displaced this whole time, in a not-comfortable-looking way. Poor fairy friend…

"This whole thing was just so ya could be smug, wasn't it?" I guess Yukari's intentions! "An' also prompt Merry yerself or something."

"Oh, hush." Yukari seems legitimately offput by the end of my last sentence…? "But, yes. Why… can't a young woman, have a sleepover? You're my seniors, you know. You could be mean to me, for all I know…"

...Licking her lips of the nugget stuff, Merry focused on her again. "You seemed pretty tanky to me. Like- I hit you with a piece of metal from a big fall. Not sure how I-... didn't break anything doing that, either."

"You could abuse me socially, of course." Yukari brought up the next possibility… "What if you bully me?"

"Yeah, sure…" Merry turns back to the food…

An' then the conversation dies, 'cause we just wanna eat instead!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Aw. The good western beds, dude. It's been awhile since I've slept somewhere a sane person does!

We're on the second floor, which is just a big bedroom. Who made this house.

Yukari has a bed in the center of the room, ten times the size of everyone else's. Our beds are actually shoved into nearby walls instead...! "Nothing like roughing it, huh…" With this statement, she waltzes towards it…

"How's this roughing it…!?" Merry's eyes slowly widen at it! "How'd you even get it in here!?"

"Somehow." Yukari gave the bad answer. Oof, dude. "Ooh, you know what we should do?"

"Yes." I nod at her. I already know, dude.

...She gives me a blank stare of inquisition…!

I actually have no idea. Let me just- look around the room for ideas-... wait!

"Fluffles." I know, dude…! "We will find fluffles beneath the beds."

"Find what." Merry is the snuggest, dude.

"Awh. That's horrible." Yukari doesn't like that idea…! "Be ashamed."

Parting from the girls, I move up to Yukari's big bed, get down on my legs, and start crawling under it…!

"You know," Merry stares at her freakin' mature doppelganger. "Saying the opposite of what's obvious isn't automatically funny."

"...Where did that come from?" Yukari gives her a pitiful look, dude. "Owie."

I slide under the bed.

"honh" Under here, a friend turns to me. "hu hoh honh" It makes fluffy coos.

...Gettin' frisky, I scoop my arm out, and claim things in the under-bed darkness! "honh- honhonhhonhonh!" Aw- I got a whole bunch of them, dude!

Lemme just- ow, hit my back on the bed underside trying to get out with some- freakin', don't run away! Aaa~h, aa~h!

Scramblin' onto my legs once I'm free, I hold up an ever-dwindling pile of friends…! "Yo ho ho~! I did it!"

"Wha- what are those!?" Merry is immediately alarmed! "Ah- what…!?"

Yukari makes a dead expression, as I encroach upon them with the fluffs!

"Ooo!" Wait- when'd Ha-chan get on the floor- and in my way- oh shit-

Thu- thud! I- fuckin' fall on her, and-

The fluffles end up thudding against Merry and Yukari! "What- aa~gh!" Merry starts fighting them back, dude!

"Waaa~l!" The disturbed fluff starts yelling! Wahaha~!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

...Yukari adjusts her mobcap, as we all sit on her bed, on our legs.

"Wh- what the heck…" Merry has to adjust her own mobcap, too! "Are they, some kind of… bug, doll, youkai things…?"

Raisin' her brows, Yukari lets out... a grievous sigh. "That… would be an insult to youkai."

A person-sized fluffle is seated on its one-segment leg fins next to us. "im big fat big fat" It informs. "would you like to be like me"

...Yukari an' Merry both give it a haunted look!

"Yes." I reassure it. Who doesn't want to be a fat tub fat tub, dude. "Dude- big, fat, big, fat."

"Years of socio-economic engineering, bloodline culling and diffusion, scenario manipulation and careful planning have lead up to this." Yukari begins to fluff up, towards the fluff stuff!

"...Wait- say that again." Merry tunes back into what Yukari was sayin'!

fwoof. Yukari snuggles onto the big fluff lug! "Let me strangle you."

"what no!" Aw- it starts ruffling against her, dustying her up even more! Yes, du~de!

...Crawlin' onto the bed from somewhere behind me, Ha-chan encroaches on me! "Brad-kun. Let's snuggle." Oh, hi.

I turn to her, as she just, approaches me. It's a little embarrassing, but I must commit! By which, I mean brace myself…!

Aah. She freakin', pressed herself into my side…

"I'm so confused." Merry looks like her head hurts…! "I thought my last few dream trips here were weird…"

Yukari snorts! "If you've still got any personal questions, do know that I will… probably not answer them. Questions about the nearest tourist attractions, however…" Yukari does a little dance thing with 'er arms, and it makes her boobs bounce a little. "We're in business!"

"Yeah- I figured." Merry just shakes 'er head… "Oh well. I'll figure it out."

"On an unrelated note…" Leaning forward, Yukari awkwardly tries to socialize with us, as if she weren't some kind of otherworldly demigod from hell. "Who here… likes books?"

"Hey- Yukari." I awaken myself from my coma of observing things to prod at her fluffiness! "Do you like mice?"

...She takes a moment to think about it! "Hmm. They have their uses, I would suppose." Not love, dude.

Let's flirt with her. "Yukari."

...She exhales 'cause I pause for her! "Yes?"

"You sound like a yak." Perfect.

Unfurling a fan before her face, she snorts…! "Where-... did that come from?"

"Jeez…" Merry grins at me! "Be nice…" Wahaha!

There's something to be said about Yukari's opposing regalness, but also how boring she is when she's not being an evil mastermind. I mean, you can't be a master entertainer all the time, but oof!

You know, this whole situation feels like the beginning to a gappy fic, except we're already in Gensokyo. Unless, Yukari plans to take us to super Gensokyo…!

"Yukari." I shall now… really annoy her!

She just pans her gaze to me, this time…!

"Is there a super Gensokyo?" I really have to know.

"Yes. There is." She- oh. "My plans, foiled. Tata." Wait, what.

She holds out an arm, and- I'm falling! Wh- what!? Oh shit!

"Ah- no!" Ha-chan scrambles for me-

The gap closes above me.

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

...Help, no. Darkness, everywhere-

Creak. I land, on a bed, somewhere with lighting again.

...Yukari gapped me across the room, onto one of the tiny beds!

...Cuppin' my hands together, I call back to them from across the room. "Yeah- super Gensokyo's lookin' grea~t!"

"Goo~d!" Merry calls back ta me!

Cre- creak. Rushing over here, Ha-chan leaps onto my bed, and- oof!

Creak! She tips me over and smooshes me! "I- I thought she hurt you…" Wau.

I- ah, yeah, I'm not getting up from this. She's pretty much just crawled onto me, and now her, um, face is just right over mine. Part of me feels like slinking outta her grasp and doing more, but my instincts refuse.

Sensing my lack of resistance, she presses herself down into me. "Mmh…"

Between our touching cheeks, and her weight trapping me, I just… let my eyes shut…

Being hugged feels… so good. The weight of a body...

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

I somehow don't wanna move.

Where am I, again… oh. That weird house Yukari owns, or something…

The main reason I don't wanna move… is 'cause getting held onto by Ha-chan's keeping me sleepy. Or, more specifically, I got a face full of fairy boob right now, and it's good.

I am defeated. Defeated by life, and fairy.

But someone shoves me…! "Hey." A~nd it's Merry. "We gotta get going. Yukari's gone, by the way." Uuh…?

Raising my face… I am immediately wowed by how my face was really just, in Ha-chan's… clothed breast. She's so lovable, it's pleasantly suffocating…!

"Don't look at me like that." Merry takes a step back from me, when I face her! "When you're done loving on your... fairy, meet me downstairs." She's surprisingly blunt about everything…

While she leaves, Ha-chan stirs. "Nn- nnh…" Aw.

"Hi." I look up at her cyan eyes, as she blinks away some sleepies…

...Looking back down at me, she smiles and- unf. She pulled me into her boob again. "Mmm~...!" She- she let out a little grunt…! Oh my god...

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Stumbling out of the house, with Ha-chan and Merry behind me, I shake my head to rouse myself into reality! "Ho ho~! Alright…" One hell of a morning!

"So…" Now that it was just the three of us, Merry looked around the daytime sky awkwardly… "Um…"

Turning back to her, I give 'er a grin! "S'time to do some exploring, dude!"

"I've got someone to look for." Merry shook her head at me. "So, uh…"

Now hold on, yo. "Yer lookin' for, uh… a girl, right?"

"Well, considering how many girls we keep running into, yeah." Merry passes that off as obvious! "When we entered Gensokyo, um… there was a friend, who I lost track of."

"...Riku?" I give the Kingdom Hearts guess.

"What- no." Merry jerks 'er head back at first! "Screw you. I guess you could call her… if I was Sora, she'd be Riku, probably. That is to say, we're good friends!"

"So yer gay for her." I give my immediate next guess!

"Sc- screw you!" She fluffs up! "Anyway! I gotta find her, 'cause we got separated! If she made it into Gensokyo with me, at all..."

...I do wanna binge the mansion again, and the Hakurei Shrine's on the way. "Wouldn't uu~h, the good place to check be the Hakurei Shrine?"

"Uh- yeah, actually!" Merry agrees immediately! "If that's not too out of the way, then..."

Nah, yo. "It is in fact, exactly where we'd be going anyway!" Let us… resume the pre-Merry activities.

"Hakurei…" Ha-chan says Hakurei for no reason. Probably because it's kind of a fluffy word…

"Fluffurei shrine maiden." My yeast is rising, dude. "Let us adventure, yo…" I beckon the friends to follow, movin' on out myself!

"Ah- are we gonna, uh, get breakfast, or something!?" Merry jogs along behind me! "Because, breakfast… would be good."

Breakfast? Wh- we eat food in this fic…? Wait, I know a good place! "It's our destination, actually! Real fancy, and the food's free, too!"

"Oh? Huh." Merry likes the sound 'a that! "...That sounds made up."

Aw, no! "Ha-chan freakin' works there! Ah- right, yo?" I turn to Ha-chan! Please, help me, fairy friend…

"Oh- yeah! The mansion!" Ha-chan smiles! "I'm supposed to be working there!"

"Ah- supposed to be…?" Merry's relaxed with us again, dude. Trust check, succeeded! "Maybe you mean 'used to be working there', at this rate…"

"Hehehe!" Ha-chan is not at all worried by the jest!

A~nd, after long enough walking in one direction, we're outta the alleys, and on the roads.

The band stage is-... not entirely cleaned up yet, but pretty close to it! The stage is bein' taken down by kappa and friends, in parts and chunks. I only saw the Prismrivers here when it was gettin' set up, so I guess they got called for this job later.

"This all went so quickly…" Merry doesn't know how many freakin' chapters we just spent singing songs an' koom-bae-yah! Aw- imagine that, Merry's gappy fic begins with a tournament arc. I think she'd just go home after that…!

"You got in at the good part!" I summarize my thoughts for her! "We were there since like, six yesterday. I did not know what I'd signed up for!"

"Oh, wow." She does not at all marvel in how long that was, dude. "What was the celebration about? Or, was it just… for the sake of it?"

"Someone felt like it, dude, and apparently had enough funds to make everyone else feel like it!" I'm gonna super bet the Prismrivers were just hires for Yukari. And, that Yukari did all of this just to make Merry feel super special upon entering Gensokyo. Hell- she even took us out ta dinner! Well- more like bought us an entire house to dine us- but still!

Hoh.

So, we circle around the construction site, uuh…

Merry looks up at the Golden Grin. "Wow. I- do you see that…?"

"Nope." I lost all ability to see, friend. "Oof."

She snorts! "But- there's a huge high rise over there…!" An' she points repeatedly!

"Yeah. Yukari owns that." I make it really clear she owns that. "It's big, and doesn't fit at all!"

...Givin' it a mournful look, Merry nods. "Oh. I guess… that makes sense." Yeah, dude. Actually, I don't quite follow that logic…! Unless she just means Yukari's weird.

As we continue forth to adventure, we begin ta near the village gate…

"Oh…" Woah. Someone near us who is not one of us… has spoken, dude. "It's you." Who's this, though…!?

I turn ta look, and- uh, ooh…

Shinki. She's- she's just here, now walkin' alongside us. She's like, as tall as me…! "Fufu. Sorry, that came off strange, didn't it?"

"Yes." It did…!

"Who are you?" Merry engages her, movin' ahead 'a me!

Lettin' out a snort, Shinki leans back her head a little… "Aw~. Did Yukari not remind you of your manners, yet?"

...Merry snorts back! "Wha- what's that supposed to mean…? I mean-... I'm Maribel, if that's what you wanted."

"Fufufu." Shinki now returns her a warm smile… "You're precious. Aah, there I go, acting weird again..."

...Good. This Shinki chick, dude…

Ha-chan looks up at her! "You're pretty!" Help, no.

...Pursing her lips together, Shinki gives Ha-chan an adoring expression! "You know what's especially precious? The fairies here. Aw- come here…" Bringing Ha-chan closer, she scratches under her chin…!

"Ah- ooh." And, Ha-chan relaxes… "Woa- a- a- ah…"

Lookin' blunt and fluffy, Merry quizzes her summore. "But no, really, who're… you?"

...Meeting her gaze, Shinki just smiles widely. "Just some darkness youkai." Wat, no.

I point at her! "No."

...She blinks! "No?"

"You are Lady Shinki of Makai, mother of Alice and big time noob extraordinaire." I can't resist, dude. I spill every bean. All of them! "Also- what're you doin' here!?"

Pursing her lips again, she slowly leans towards me…! "Aaw? How creative. As for what I'm doing here… did you not see our band?" Aw? Ah shit, maybe not…!

Merry just gives me a jaded expression. "Guy- be nice. That one was just stupid-random, not funny-random." Oo~h. Sometimes though Merry- the truth's stranger than fiction…! "Aah- speaking of, what is your name…?"

"I thought I said so!" She musta forgot…! "I am Brad… man. The rad man, dude." I think I'm gonna heave…!

"Oh, no…" She shakes her head at me! "Well, I won't forget your name this time, I'm sure. Out of fear." Wahaha!

"Rad Brad-kun!" Ha-chan, I am gonna eat your wings…! I actually got enough 'a that shit in school, dude!

We reach the village guard at the gate, dude. The gate's already just hanging open, and we see some kappa meander past us as they powerwalk into the village with tiny shipping containers.

Aah, for those who don't know, all kappa techs who aren't Nitori… basically look like her, sans the exact height, and the hair… and the face… and the gender-

Basically, that blue uniform's their freakin' racial birthright. Also, midgetism. Or, well, they're not really midgets. Just short…!

"Kappa are huggable." I decide, 'cause they look snug as a people…

"Ooh. Those are kappa…" Merry figures it out! "Huh."

"I'd like to see you try hugging one…" Shinki, no. Freakin'- I'm still kinda jarred by the fact we went from one powerful old woman to another!

But man, is it sunny today. It's a perfect day for fresh loaves, dude; left to bake in the ivory sunlight.

...Or, the full evil and painful sunlight since we just slept through morning.

"You two…" Shinki says hello.

We pass through the gate starin' at her! An' then she speaks ta us. "You're both outsiders, aren't you?" Aw gee, how'd she know, dude. It was a huge secret and everything.

"...Yeah." Especially in Merry's case, since both Yukari and Shinki seem to like, know her for some reason…! Also- she spoke- "How can you tell?"

"Some youkai can tell by your scent." Shinki smiled, carefree. "Some youkai can tell simply by one's dress. And, some youkai, can tell by your soul." Ooh…!

"My soul?" This perplexes Merry! "What about it?"

Shinki lets herself slouch a little! "Aah. Well… to put it simply, environment can shape one's soul. When you've grown up somewhere devoid of magic, and the environment of Gensokyo… those of us who are attentive may pick up on it."

"...Yeah, that makes sense." Merry is now calm, dude.

We all got a fuckton of questions! Both for each other now, and in general!

So we're like, on the road to the shrine now. Lotsa sun-shaded trees all 'round us, and the big expanse of the dirt path of destiny, dude…

"Merry Christmas." I begin!

"No." Merry declines the transaction…

"Why do you have a picture of me…!?" I thought that was a little weird, but didn't say shit at the time!

"Oh?" Shinki- stop being interested…!

Now Merry gets to be flustered, dude! "You-... remember that, huh? Uum…!" Wahaha! "I've actually got pictures of a lot of people. Drawn ones, I mean- no weird real ones…" Drawn's still a bit weird out of context, son…!

"Do you have one of me?" Shinki inquires!

"No." Merry says no definitively, dude.

"As it should be." Wh- ooh…! Shinki's dropped character a little!

...Merry notices, too! "What's that supposed to mean?"

Shinki lets her head tilt. For some reason, her little round hair ornaments are really cute! "Aah, it'd just be really weird, you know? Not that I'm one to talk. I've never quite sensed you before in my life, after all." Never quite, huh.

For some reason, this reminds me of something it shouldn't! "Plant hangers! Why've you got one!?" I point at Merry!

...She looks standoffish, dude! "What kinda-... I mean, I don't really got a reason! I saw you drinking from one!" Wohoho…!?

Reachin' into my sack, I draw Deep Blue again! "Yeah, dude! Look- I'll never freakin' run dry with this thing, dude!" Infinite quencher!

...Shinki just looks lost and confused.

"Yo- as a goddess, do you know like, law stuff?" Aw, I've got a good idea dude…

Shinki flicks her gaze up a little! "Supposing I was, maybe I would. Why?"

"Is bludgeoning people with plant hangers cruel and unusual punishment…!?" Aw~, dude!

"I'm inclined to say yes." There we go, dude. I'm a war criminal!

At this point, we've just stopped on the path, too engorged in freakin' questioning one another! Aw- some kappa pass us while we idle, walking along a motorized wagon.

"Say…" Coasting ahead of us, Shinki smiles at us… "Are you Yukari?" Oh!

"I don't think so." Maribel replied to the best of her ability. "...I hope not." Wahaha!

"Sorry~. You just can't be sure, sometimes." Lookin' freakin' smug, she nods at that. "If you haven't noticed yet, Yukari… she's a trickster of sorts."

"Haven't seen it." Merry lies. Freakin' she's becoming Yukari already, dude! Maybe she is Yukari…!

Shinki snorts. "So you say. How old are you, again?"

"...Twenty?" Oh, shit. Merry's older than me, by two years. Help.

"Mmm." I bet Shinki's all like, 'yeah that checks out'. "Well, you're all very cute." All…?

"S'that include me?" I point at myself! 'Cause I am the last thing people use to describe cute!

Shinki raises her brows, an' gives an innocent shrug. "Ah, well, humans are cute, I should say." Uh oh.

Aw. There's the Hakurei Shrine! An' Renko's probably up there…

"Where are you two going?" Shinki creeps on us…!

"The mansion, eventually!" I declare! "We're looking for King Mickey."

"Oh." Shinki dunno what to think 'a that, dude. "Well. I think I might help with that…"

"He~y. Aren't we going to the shrine…?" Merry's point-of-no-return gamer senses tingle, dude. "We're gonna see if Renko's there…"

"Oh, no." Shinki shook her head. "No one's there, right now." Staring up the shrine steps, she answers our expectation. "So, there's not really any point in going up there."

Hu~h. I guess not. "How often's Reimu out?" I ask Shinki of all people…!

An' so, Shinki just gives me a stare! "When she's out. That is to say… how am I supposed to know?" Wahaha! "Besides. I feel the mansion here would be… a more fitting first endeavor for you two." Ooh?

Merry shook her head. Man- her hair is so fluffy. Girls are cute dude! "I feel like you're lying."

Shinki raises a brow! "Oh? Do you happen to sense spiritual energy, too? What is your opinion, then?"

"We- well, it's just-... you seem a bit…!" Merry clams up, not expecting the resistance!

"There, there." Coming up to Merry, Shinki leans down a little, and smiles at 'er. "I do not mean you any wrong. Honestly. Even supposing the maiden was there, that is to not say your friend would be, either."

"That's… true. I guess she isn't, then." Merry slouches a bit, letting out a breath… "But, I think we'll check back later, at least."

"That sounds like a plan." Shinki feels like a mom. I dunno why, but she just gives off that aura, by existing.

So… that means we gotta go! "We gotta go this way, dude." Walkin' past the shrine steps, I start to lead the friends…

"Actually, come here." Shinki has… a better idea, I guess! "Come here, all of you."

...We all very reluctantly proceed, except Ha-chan, who freakin' almost walks into her.

"Closer." She holds her arms out…? "I don't bite." Uuh!

...Once me and Merry get into arm range-

Whoah! Ah. She just freakin' grabbed onto us. "Alright. Here we go~." My face is in her underarm, and there's something… weird about it…!

"Wha- what…!?" Merry is alarmed, for good reason! "Um- let- let go- ah-"

Wait holy shit-

FWVWOAM…!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

FVROA~R! Fucking- what the holy shit…!?

Shinki lets go of us, and now we're… just past the Misty Lake! "Here."

Merry flails her arms, as she steps back, eyes shut. "Oo- okay… that was-..." Oof!

"Fufu." At our scramblement, she looks freakin', endeared. "Was that the first time either of you moved like that?"

...It was like, the world just flashed for a moment, and a freakin' array of stars whirred past us all Star Trek style, an' I don't even watch that show. Fer a moment, there was just-... pitch white geometry, like the kind ya see in fake ass youtube videos on enlightenment! But- seeing that shit in person, in freakin'... sharp detail, that was some shit.

"When else would we…!?" Merry lashes out at 'er! "What was that!?"

That noise was also the teleporting or something! I don't know how or why, dude…

Thunk. Ha-chan flew into the air, then into the ground, and splayed out. "A- uah."

Speakin' of the ground! We are… on the side of the Misty Lake, yeah. More specifically, there's some sand banks just ahead of us, grass to our sides, and behind us is the dirt path leadin' up to Meiling's big person gate thing.

"She's just a little disoriented." Shinki clarifies what has happened to the cuddle fairy…

"Geez…" While Merry re-adjusts herself, I suddenly take the moment to freakin'... take in the trees and stuff around us, 'cause that shit reminded me of my eyes, and nature!

Shinki's even more amused at us as a result! "Fufufu! Awh. To describe it to you, would be difficult. It's of no earthly bound, I suppose." Good. We got the goddess of darkness to give us a taxi ride.

I think we've found ourselves again. Ha-chan's getting up off the floor, too…! "Nn- ow.."

"How's my daughter doing?" Shinki asks, out of nowhere! "You seem to know her, clearly." Wau.

"She's doin' good, dude." I give her a blunt nod. "She's fluffy." Hoh…

"...Yes." Shinki agrees! "I'm planning to visit her, today."

...The conversation's dead, son. We're all too ginger and cuddly for something like active speaking.

Aw. I hear tweety birds around, somewhere. It's a rather temperate day, for like, almost winter…

The sky's so full and blue. And fuckin' bright, agh…!

"Your yuki-onna resemblance…" Shinki gives me an amused look, as we idle for actually no reason! "Do you operate as a clown or jester, in the village?" Freakin'...!

"Ya could say that…" I give her a nod! "Aw. Actually, a buddhist nun helped make this kimono fer me…"

Shinki allows herself to look a little knowing at that… "Aah. A buddhist nun, hmm?"

Meanwhile, Merry's just been… taking in the grand sights, dude. Right now, she's staring into the massive lake behind us! "Where's all this mist from…?" Aw, yeah. Fog machine: the lake, except on days like these, it's less fog, and more like 'the lake water's taking a smoke break'.

"What's this about nuns." Merry faces us again, ginger and gentle in posture… "Are we telling cliched jokes, now…?"

"Yes." I nod! "So an evil god and a nun walk into a bar…!"

Shinki's gaze on me becomes a little more alert! "Now how do you know about that…?"

...Aw, shit dude. I do not have a good answer for this question!

Oh, wait. Crouching down, I claim a fluffle from a nearby sandbank, before the lake… "I am a sandy fluff."

Bluntly, Shinki reaches forward, and takes it from me.

"im beached" Uh oh.

FWOO~M! Wha- woah! I look away, 'cause the fluffle ends up glowing molten bright…! Freakin', heat just ran up it…!

When it's safe to look again, I see that she's turned it into glass.

Shoof. Bending down, she poses the glass fluff in the sand, facing the lapping waves of the lake shore.

"Oh, wow…" Merry's eyes are wide! "You-... glassed it."

"Fufu." She likes our cautious awe…! "I see Gensokyo has a dust mite problem, too."

Man. Dust mites are cuddly~, dude! Man…

I search the shore for another fluff, and lift it up. They are a little like dust mites, aren't they? Aw…

poof. I bump the loaf against my face. Fr- freakin', sand… it's dusty!

"You're lucky it doesn't attack." Merry declares! "It's always the cute things…"

I hold the folded loaf near one of my hands. It tries to gnaw on it, to little avail…

"...Ahw." Merry's brows curl up, dude! "Wow!"

Shinki holds a pale hand up.

thoom- thal. Ooh. What the hell was that… it was like some kinda echoey kinda noise!

...I look at my hands, and the fluff stuff is gone. What, no.

"Um… wow." Merry's intimidated, for some reason…! "Was that-... that was just magic?"

"Magic can do many things, in this world and in others." With a good smile, Shinki took a few steps back, and held her arms out a little.

Fwi~sh. All around her form, a sphere of individual points of magic lights up! Every point is a different color, of some kinda small example of an element. A small plume of fire, some dim blue to represent ice, a clear point that just generated dripping water…

Then was the weird shit, like the grey hole in seeable matter, the pitch white and black dots, and the lines around her that weaved all this shit together real freakin'... neatly!

"I'm starting to buy into that whole 'dark god' thing." Merry takes a few steps back…! "You really felt like showing off, huh…?"

"...Can I be blamed?" She pans her smiling gaze across us all again! "You all act like you've never seen magic before."

"I have seen the big magic," I preface, "I am just a noob, dude."

...Shinki just blinks at me! "A what?" ...Yo ho ho, dude! Brad boy one, unholy goddess of hell zero!

Merry snorts at that! "Pftuh… well, yeah. This is my first day here. Awake, anyway..."

"Ooh?" Taking interest in that, Shinki silently dispels her magic rolly ball of doom and steps closer… "First day, hmm? Well, I hope you enjoy yourself. Be kind to the fairies, and I'm sure they'll reward you." Uuh. Yeah- no, dude.

Ha-chan came back from the unknown! An' now she's holding up a sandy loaf of her own…

"Hi, friend." I greet her…

Oh, no! She reels her arm back, ready to lug the sand loaf at me!

woosh. I avoid the nugget. "fwoof"

poof. It thuds against Shinki's face, a thick cloud of sand whirling into the air where it landed…! Aw- it even hugs on, dude!

Her face is obscured by the fluff tubs. "...I think I'll be seeing my daughter, now." Shinki's had enough 'a this shit, dude!

vhir. Uh. Shinki's form flickers awkwardly for like, a split second, and then the fluffle's gone. Goodbye, friend. "It was nice meeting you two!"

"Yeah!" Merry wa~ves. "Have fun, um… doing things!"

With that, she floats off…

Freakin' Makai. Good ol' Shinki, dude! If only she actually lived in Gensokyo, and was not probably the Touhou equivalent of Satan. I mean, that don't mean she's evil, but that profession's kinda a hop, skip, and a jump away from a grasslands marauder like myself! Her maids pro'lly have pet Cerberuses. Cerberi? Multiple Cerberi! That's like if I had like… two Meilings as a pet, or something. I don't think Cerberus was ever supposed to be plural…!

We stare into the sky where she leaves for a little while, idle and relaxed…

"Sand buns…" Ha-chan restlessly hobbles in place, 'cause she's out-explored 'erself.

"She was a little scary." Merry confessed outta nowhere!

"She felt like a mom, dude." Shinki is the good god mom. Anyway…! "Let's get goin' to that mansion!" I point at the big thing just behind us! "It's big and should be warm, or warmish…"

"Oh- woah." Merry hadn't even seen it! "Who put that there…"

"Me. I did it." I make the grand reveal. C'mere, son!

...Ooh! A particularly flighty breeze meets us...

"Wow…" As we come onto the approach, Maribel hugs herself. "It's… cold."

"Didja know winter was a season?" Hi, son.

...Maribel just turns to me, dead on the inside.

"'Cause I didn't!" Ho ho…!

But anyway, maybe I should… drop some knowledge, dude. Time to backseat game! "Really, though, freakin'... you'll find two thirds of the superpowered asses are at least personable. Not necessarily humane or moral, mind ya, but personable. They won't see ya and start freakin' tearing your limbs off indiscriminately."

...Suddenly alerted into critical thinking, Merry meets my gaze! "Where'd that come from? You mean, um… Lady Shink, was it?" Lady shink. Lady gonna-shank-ya!

"Shinkee, yo." I help her out! "Like lady stinky, or lady yankee."

"Well- you say that like there are people who'll just mow you down mindlessly." Merry gives me an unexpectedly wry look…! "Do you have any examples of that?"

O~h, yeah. "Well! Let's ah, see…" Who's ever wanted me dead? Oh, I know…!

"Some spider girls, u~h- a certain vampire on a bad day, probably some tengu, maybe a god or two- Yuuka, definitely her- certain breeds of fairy, fluffles on a bad fluff day, uh…" Hmm. Well- technically any Gensokyian if you piss off enough people. But…! "Actually, only certain breeds of fairy will do it intentionally. Oni, evil spirits, a~nd this one guy I know named Matt."

"Actually, scratch oni, you gotta give 'em good reason to beat you up." I decide! "An' the yukkuri and kedama can be pretty mean, too! And the humans. And, uh, the rocks, on occasion. Skeletons. Ghosts…!"

"You make this sound like everyone's out to kill you!" Merry exclaims, vaguely worried! "Surely, somewhere this beautiful can't be that much of-... a hell…" I think she realized the realistic irony in her sentence as she said it! "Ah, whatever. I'll believe it when I see it." Ho ho!

The mansion's gates are in sight! Soon I shall introduce Meiling to Not-Yukari! Also, fluffle stand antics…!

I grin at her stubborn fluffiness! "Ah, yeah- on that note! Hell's probably worse. S'got hell fairies, more hellish than normal fairies. The person who takes you there shows up here time to time, actually!"

Grinning back, Maribel shook her head. "Alright, alright, I've heard enough. Next you're gonna tell me you can actually fight."

...Shouldn't say that kinda stuff aloud, yo! People might take ya seriously!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

END OF CHAPTER 55

PROTAGONIST: Brad, the Fluffle Slayer, Fairy Slayer, Accidental Human Slayer, Ph. D in Plant Hangers, Scarlet Liberator, Village Liberator, Eientei Crucible, Sinker of the Flufftanic, Assembler of the Legendary Air Ride Machine, Sky Climber, Amateur Espionage Practitioner, Illegal Fairy Harborer, Conscientious Party Member, Holder of Too Many Titles.

PRIMARY WEAPON: Tundra Bloomer - A earth-elemental plant hanger made from sturdy rock, with a flower curved around the hilt. With the addition of an enchanted shaft, it is also able to be used as a warhammer!

SKILLS:

Jackhammer - I can mine shit with it! I think…

Buff - Spend mana to boost physical attack power and physical defense for some time. Wears off quickly…

Tundra - Basic ice attack which erects beneath a target, making a chair-sized spike of ice.

Gaia Seed - Basic earth magic, which weighs down on a target and makes them tired.

INVENTORY:

Youkai Inconveniencer - A holy plant hanger, which works as a flail 'cause of the cross necklaces attached to it! Boosts the power of holy skills.

SKILLS:

Flash - Blinding magic. Works best on dark-elementals, but also works on youkai. Humans don't resist it, so it still works on them, with reduced efficiency.

Flashlight - It's a flashlight! Might blind dark youkai, I dunno…

Shine - Basic holy magic. Generates a holy orb in the target's body, randomly battering them with a raw holy gush.

=o=

Fairy Harp - Ol' reliable, fixed up with freakin' attachable strings and shit! Also a grate, an iron block and other shit. It's a freakin' disaster...

SKILLS:

Gust - Basic wind magic. Pushes the feeble. Fee~ble…!

Fairy Dust - Weapon status effect replaced with fairy dust. Wind attacks with this weapon get fairy dust all over the enemy, reducing accuracy and senses.

Sick Ill Harp Cords - Get ready for my next great mixtape…!

=o=

Flame Salvo - A red and crimson plant hanger comprised of purplish-red gems and crimson metals. Boosts the power of fire skills.

STATS:

Ignites things with physical impacts.

SKILLS:

Flamethrower Plus - A jet of fire. That's- that's it! It's a fucking flamethrower, 'cept fueled by magic! Does that make it more or less easy to put out…?

Fume - Makes hot air fume from the earth below. Might sear the feeble.

Berserk - Non-damaging fire spell which berserks a target for awhile. Can be removed with water or ice stuff!

Danmaku Adaptability - Now that there's a NERF gun on it I can shoot the good danmaku dude.

=o=

Vortex Hanger - Wind elemental plant hanger currently attached to the Yin-Yang flail as a crafting material. Granted a limited hover per swing when wielded, but that ability is what allows the flail-o-copter to fly now.

=o=

Deep Blue - A blue and silver plant hanger comprised of mysterious fantastical metals. Boosts the power of water skills.

SKILLS:

Freakin' Leaks! - Can produce limitless fresh hanger water…!

Geyser - Basic water attack. Gush of water erupts from the earth and might fling the feeble…!

Valve - I can control the water flow with this!

=o=

Yin-yang flail-o-copter - A flail with a standard, maximized Hakurei Yin-yang orb in the sling of it. Unable to have its powers fully activated, as only Reimu can truly harness the power of Yin-yang orbs. Minor affinities from the base orb transfer over, though! Crafted from a Hakurei Yin-Yang orb, a rope of panties, and two bra cups. Ropes were used to attach the Vortex Hanger to the yin-yang orb, allowing the flail to be used as a flying device, although it's a bit straining on the arms.

Sharper Than Darkness - A dark, runed plant hanger constructed from the shards of a dead man's sword. Deals dark damage!

STATS:

Attacks are darkness elemental.

Sickle end may make opponents bleed.

SKILLS:

Revenge - Skill that increases in strength when health is lower. Power doubles for each deceased party member. Power is increased by fifty percent for each defeated party member. Fairies count as defeated rather than deceased no matter what. Power and effects depend on current weapon. High accuracy.

Bloody Mess - User bleeds faster and longer. Oof!

=o=

Bee-Sheventeen-Bawmber - A mechanical plant hanger enchanted to make big booms on contact. Explosions are mostly knockback based, but I think it could gib particularly weak-willed people… magic is weird.

SKILLS:

Boom - Hitting stuff makes booms!

Pellet - Shoots a lemon-shaped danmaku pellet from the added barrel. Uuh...

=o=

Million Bucks - A basic green cast-iron plant hanger, from the aged cellar of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. It's a gift from Flandre Scarlet! Has an obsolete map of the cellar's maze, etched by Flandre herself, along with some shoddy enchantments!

STATS:

Lowers user's defense slightly.

Attacks are electric and holy elemental.

Attacks travel through matter

Attacks become magical rather than physical.

SKILLS:

Panic Attack! - Run faster when health is lower!

Magic Attack - Physical attacks are converted to magic attacks, and fluidly pass through objects.

Combo Jump - Allows the user to transition to jumping while mid-attack.

Aerial Plus - Forced aerial support! It's vaguely easier to hit aerial foes with it!

Air Slide Plus - Lets the user awkwardly air slide.

Glide - Replaces my double jump skill with gliding.

High Jump - Increased jump height while running.

=o=

Market Gardener - Critical hits during blast jumps! Otherwise, it's just a normal, old plant hanger. Named after a very similar shovel…!

NERF dart blaster - Nerf guns are cool and all, but don't try defending yourself with one. Please. Unless you're surrounded by fairies who don't know the difference- but y'know- that opportunity's a freakin' million to one.

NERF longsword - 'CAUTION: Do not jab at people or animals'… you know what that means! Maybe one day this will actually come in handy…

=o=

Kaguya Houraisan Disguise - Wear to become a NEET! Tons of pockets! Voice, face, and height specifications not included!

STATS:

75% Time resistance

=o=

Monk Robes - Wear to become a Buddhist! Actually pretty comfy…!

Butterfly Dream Pills - Makes you dream of being a beautiful butterfly!... now, if only there was a pill for lucid or wet dreams, and then I'd consider Yagokoro the doctor to end all doctors!

Remilia Scarlet Disguise - Wearing this as a tall manchild's probably not doing anyone with eyes any favors. Has resistances of sorts, but I'm not in a big fat hurry to find out what they are…

=o=

Toasty Yuki-onna Kimono - Best winter clothing twenty fifteen. Looks identical to a yuki-onna's kimono, and heats itself too! Yo ho ho!

STATS:

50% Ice resistance

50% Freezing resistance

-50% Fire resistance

-50% Burning resistance

=o=

Choujuu Gigaku Yukata - A metal leather Yukata which has copper-tinted accents. The band just- has more of these…?

STATS:

50% Wind resistance

100% Silencing resistance

100% Tired resistance.

Immunity to hearing damage and debuffs.

Wearer heals 25% more from friendly casts of Power Metal.

=o=

65,200 Yen - ...Yeah, just in a bag. It's about time I documented how much freakin' money I have! I should do this for potions, too...

Nine Health Potions - They give you youkai-like regen for like, thirty seconds! No chuggin' these babies to indefinitely survive the cold reaches of outer space. Unless the regen outdoes the asphyxiation, but I think I'd rather die by that point…

Five Mana Potions - Restores a bunch of mana! Fer humans… since it restores more mana than most will have in their lifetime.

PARTY:

London, the Multipurpose Combat Doll - What it lacks in brains it makes up for with a suit of armor and some OP utilitarian spells! Can cast basic fire, lightning, and ice attacks, both the magical and physical variety. Has lance, can shoot danmaku. Variety of attack commands now, including intelligent tracking, trailing, patrolling, and defending. Has mana pool for the stronk commands, though, so those should be used sparingly. I really have to remember to use her, at some point!

PRIMARY WEAPON: Shanghai Lance - Burly lance with jabbing ability. Mostly useful as a blunt object, it seems, and intimidation factor. London really likes it, apparently. London shouldn't have sentience, but I can't help but notice the awkward way which it just pauses before it swings this lance.

Hana, the Electric Elemental Stalker Maid - She's friendly, dude. She's getting better at using thunder magic, too! Cyan hair and eyes, likes to be fluffy, so on and so forth. I don't got a whole lot ta add about her… Oh, yeah, she's weak to earth magic, I think.

PRIMARY WEAPON: Sometimes can cast a slightly stronger lightning bolt… but it still can't fry people!

INVENTORY:

Probably some rocks - Yeah.

Maribel Hearn, the University Student

WEAPON: Cast-Iron Plant Hanger - A sturdy plant hanger made of solid metal.

INVENTORY:

[Suitcase] - Holds her stuff. Gives five inventory spaces!

Little White LED - A lil lightbulb that blinks…! Takes up an entire fifth of the freakin' suitcase.

Things, Probably Paperwork - She's got all sorts of cool things, yo. None of them help in a survival situation, though…!

[one space remaining]

ACTUAL AUTHOR'S NOTE:

FREAKIN' TUROK 2 STEAM RELEASE SON

it's a good time; most would find it overwhelmingly tedious despite the awesome weapons, and the fact it's played better today than it has ever before

i recommend watching gameplay of it first for like an hour before getting it so you know what you're getting into; you can also play the N64 version on emulator if you want to torment yourself (also pretty sure you can download the old outdated PC version from the dinosaur era).

BUT ANYWAY ENOUGH OF THAT

aa~h, party shenanigans

feels awkward to write a party setting in first person in ways, despite having done it in shades before

dark god shinki is dark and a god

maribel will be a temporary party member for a little while! everyone say hi

speeler alert: renko's around somewhere

the scene with the TRINITY SPARK was pretty fun to write; felt my mojo flowin' there!

might wanna look it over myself at some point to make sure things make SENSE as a whole but it seems to be alright so far!

mariblel

...this chapter was also a bit longer than normal, 15 k words prior to the end filler; felt like it was justified 'cause action and i wanted to end it right

i find myself not having a lot to say about the actual content in the author's notes these days… though i'm sure it'd help if i actually did most of the chapter within three days instead of splaying it out over a week of work and frikery

although i don't think talking about my decision making process would really matter . w . ...mostly because it's mostly just a matter of keepin' things tasteful, not necessarily CONSCIOUS BOLD DECISIONS. s'a slice 'a life, yo, not a cuttin' edge… novel thing

though i do sneak in some of my ideological beliefs here or there 'cause y'know hi my name's brad- but seriously i do find it a lotta fun to just dick around like i do with this fic

as always, see you all next time!

==== AND THEN HE WALKED THE EARTH AGAIN ====

man the irony of me getting interested in turok 2 about around this same time too, jee~z

well anyway that's the end of the band arc!

let's get rolling with… the CHANGE LOG:

o big bad bosses replaced with instrument girls for thematic stability!

o yukari's still around though

o rewrote everything to reflect choujuu gigaku existing

o rewrote merry intro so she's more uneasy and inquisitive fer now; might be inconsistent later

o shinki is a little more awkward towards us but it's GOOD

o set-up a SUPPLY DROP for brad later as a result of these events, in a fun way too

o connected with kyouko and mystia!

o

I DON'T THINK IT NEEDS SAYING, but the song that they played was Through the Fire and the Flames.

o actual conclusion to band events! arc successfully completed

o as a result the chapter is fuck-huge

o nuggets

o brad should've technically lost yen for buying nuggets but who cares i like nuggets dude

o yukari hangs out with us

o yukari

o ha-chan is as snuggly and tempting as she should be

o potions finally got used to maintain the WORLD ORDER, just to keep merry alive through all of that…!

o all interactions with futo herein have a nice bitter associate flavor to them which is great

o oh yeah wakasaggy performance for the sake of it, with some smooth ambience…

o actual reward for the whole arc, albeit DELAYED; brad's not too worried about it though!

o if brad asked yukari 'why concert' you know she would've answered 'why not'

o yeah shinki lied to them about the shrine being empty to get them to the mansion faster; she has a reason but we will NEVER HEAR IT and i don't think anyone rereading or maybe even going through will notice that lie

but it's there because matt is actually there i think, and we don't wanna INTERFERE with that scenario right now; also renko is there which would entirely invalidate the rest of the timeline and cause a deadly paradox OH SHIT-

you know i feel like these change logs don't stack up to the first chapters where i literally added entire new concepts to make them not shit because the core plot to this is more or less the same but it's just more entertaining as a whole

i hope this band arc has been worth the wait!

inb4 can't tell anyone about it because doesn't update for revisions / chapter replacements, rip

maybe the email team will get here hoh hoh

man past brad probably looks like a fuckin' lunatic talking about an awesome event that DIDN'T AND WILL NO LONGER HAPPEN XD

but y'know, this is good

and now, for everyone's favorite

POTENTIAL INCONSISTENCY ISSUES GOING FORWARD:

X discrepancy with potion count? maybe~!

X references to a spark or shit that happened in the old band arc, not so likely in the SDM but probably in a few places

X later-game references to the band arc's insanity

X we kyouko doesn't immediately follow-up on this relationship that's been established but it's believable enough considering how she has to keep things under wraps

X yen discrepancy? ma~ybe!

X mana potions too perhaps whatever

X village's east path will have a rut running through it where a spark was fired down it maybe; disappears eventually and doesn't play into much so hoh; shouldn't exist for obvious reasons

x quality issues? not really sure about that, since we're hanging around the 60-70s mark, things should be looking okay quality-wise. stuff could be more or less spectacular surrounding this point maybe, but that's a 'when-we-get-to-it' thing too

next thing on our list is chapters 7-11, or perhaps 7-10 or 7-12 depending on what's needed of them

but that won't be for awhile… kinda unfortunate, since after 1-6, those are pretty crucial points that need to be polished for the rest of what this BEHEMOTH has become

then again i think anyone who would be worried by them has already crossed this off on their "shitty SI" list and everyone thinking of reading it stomached the bullshit to this point XD

as always, see you all next time!